Voldemort's Chosen One
by wutshudmenamebee
Summary: Chosen. Chosen to be a slave. Chosen to have the Dark Lord's child. Chosen to never have a life beyond what the Dark Lord commands. But she falls in love while in protection at Hogwarts. Now she must choose between her destiny and her love. But both ways are bound to end with tragedy...she can feel it.
1. Chapter 1

**SUMMARY:**

**Voldemort is no fool. He knows Harry will discover his Horcrux magic. So of course, he has a backup plan. Charlotte Rodgers is this backup plan.**

**Having been born to a woman just prior to her imprisonment in Azkaban, Charlotte has never known her parents. But she had been chosen by Voldemort to bear him a child in hopes that he can implement more of the Dark Arts to come back through this child. When Voldemort returns, Charlotte is sent to Hogwarts to be protected by none other than Severus Snape, the only Death Eater inside the castle walls, while awaiting the proper time to have the child.**

**But Charlotte doesn't want to do the bidding of the Dark Lord, and therefore resists him. It's not that she isn't honored; it's that she has fallen for another. Now she must find a way to escape her fate, but not without help.**

***Harry, Hermione, and Ron will be mentioned, but it is mostly around my OC as she tries to escape Voldemort. Dumbledore, Mcgonagall, Snape, the Malfoys, Bellatrix, and Voldemort are the other main characters other than Charlotte. Takes place after year four and continues through the series (don't worry, I won't do the cliché "rewriting what J.K. Rowling wrote and adding my own character" It will not follow the Trio)***

* * *

**Thanks for checking out my Fanfic! I hope you enjoy it!**

**CHAPTER 1**

Even before I lost my wand and was captured by Lucius Malfoy and was thrown into a cellar where my powers cannot work, I was having a pretty rotten day. But before I get to that, let me tell you a little about myself. Well, I'll tell you what I know, which isn't much.

My name is Charlotte Rodgers. I was born to a woman just before she was sentenced to life in Azkaban. I was taken by her uncle and hidden away. I've never met my mother, nor have I met my father. From what I learned since leaving the care of my great-uncle, both of my parents think me to be dead. After a year of living with my mother's uncle, he lost the will to look after me, and I was sent away to an orphanage where I spent the next nine years. I am now fifteen, and have been on the run for five years, hiding anywhere I can and eating anything I can find. Up until today, I had been successful at evading my captors.

You see, as a baby, Voldemort chose me to bear his child so he could come back through it, just in case his other plan fell through. (I'm not sure what that other plan is, but it can't be good.) When I learned what I was to do, I bolted. Lucius Malfoy has been hunting me since then. Today, he found me.

I had been in a cave for two months and found myself wanting civilization, longing for a conversation that was not one-sided. So I went to London. That was my first mistake. Malfoy found me almost immediately. I was running straight up Durham Cathedral. I reached the top, being chased my Malfoy. He sent my wand over the edge and took me to his home. I could have gotten away had I just jumped. I've taught myself enough dark magic to know how to stop myself from being crushed onto the ground, but I panicked. That's definitely the worst sting of the entire ordeal: I could have escaped.

Anyways, back to the present: I am locked in some room that blocks my ability to use my powers. Malfoy says he has something planned for me. He says that Voldemort is coming to see me. I'm not sure how I feel about that. No, I do know. I hate it.

The cell door creaks. I look up. Narcissa Malfoy stands in the doorway. "Don't just sit there. Come on," she demands. I oblige. She takes me just up the stairs, and I find myself in a larger room, almost like a living room but without the cozy feel to it. I am in the home of the Malfoys. There is a man standing by the window, his back to me. My first thought is one of dread. Could this be the Dark Lord, the one who hopes to force me to have his child for his dark magic? Something tells me this is not he, and I am once again able to breathe. "Severus," Narcissa acknowledges him.

"Narcissa," he replies coldly. His eyes dart to me. "Is this the one?"

"Yes," Lucius Malfoy answers, walking into the room. The look in his eyes tells me that he has not yet forgiven me for trying to kill him earlier. Slowly, he makes his way behind me and shoves me toward this Severus person. "Be a nice child now. Tell the man who you are."

"I know who she is." Severus says. The black-haired man puts his hands behind his back. "What I don't know is why you have brought me here."

"Isn't it obvious, Severus?" Lucius questions. "The Dark Lord requires her safety, and the safest place for her would be Hogwarts. Until the time is right, of course. She will be under a watchful eye – your eye. She will not be able to escape as she has done so many times in the past."

"And I'm supposed to just bring a student into Hogwarts at the age of –" he stops and looks at me. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen," I say quietly.

"And you expect a new student at the age of fifteen to go unnoticed?" Severus asks.

"Of course not," Narcissa answers, "we expect you to convince Dumbledore to let it happen."

"You want me to convince him to endanger the other students?" he asks. It's quite obvious that this Severus Snape person does not want me at Hogwarts, whatever Hogwarts is. The word "students" gives me an idea of what Hogwarts is, but I don't like the thought of going to a school. I prefer to learn my magic independently.

"The Dark Lord demands her safety," Lucius interjects.

Severus raises an eyebrow. "I will attempt this, but I cannot predict what Dumbledore will decide."

"Succeed, Severus. Don't attempt," Lucius replies. "And take her with you," Malfoy points to me, contempt on his face, "I've had enough of her being in my home."

Lucius walks toward me. Instinctively, I take a step back. "Don't touch me!" I shout.

"You insolent girl!" Lucius yells. He flicks his wand, and in the next moment I find myself on the floor. "Disrespect me in my own home again, and –"

"Lucius, enough!" Narcissa commands. She comes to me and helps me up. "Go with Severus."

The man with the oddly styled black hair offers me his arm. He seems just as uncomfortable with this arrangement as I am. He no more wants me at Hogwarts than I want to go there. When my hand touches his arm, we vanish and reappear in a forest. I know what we are doing; we're Apparating. I've never Apparated with anybody, but I've Apparated many times before by myself. Being a Metamorphmagus has its advantage. Did I forget to mention that? Yeah, I'm a Metamorphmagus. I went into the Ministry and took lessons as some poor bloke that never knew what happened to him. I knocked him out and hid his body, took the Apparation Test, passed it, then disappeared again. That's also how I got out of the orphanage. I disguised myself as one of the maids and walked right out of the orphanage, never to return.

So anyways, I am in a forest with Severus Snape. There is a large castle up a hill. Torches are lit in the windows, making the castle seem inviting. I've never been inside something so large, and I find myself staring anxiously at it, so intent on taking in the sight that I do not realize Snape is already walking out of the forest. Quickly, I speed up to follow him, not wanting to be trapped in the woods by myself.

"Hurry," he snarls at me, not even giving the courtesy of a glance back at me.

"Where are we?" I ask him.

His eyes dart at me once then he says, "Hogwarts." He doesn't say another thing.

After a few seconds of debating on whether or not I should delve further into the subject, I decide against my better judgment and ask, "What exactly is Hogwarts?"

Snape sneers at me. "You've never heard of it before?" Heat rises in my cheeks, and I all I can do is hope that he doesn't notice. I don't think I could stand it if had another reason to look at me like I am a fool. "Hogwarts is the best school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in all of Britain. Though, I don't know why I am shocked you have not heard of it. After all the trouble you've given the Dark Lord and us – his faithful followers – it is no surprise that you should have no knowledge of the magical world, seeing that you so eagerly run from it at any chance."

I look away. How am I supposed to tell him that I have robbed many stores in a place called Diagon Alley and have taught myself much about the magical world in which I live? I consider myself very advanced, no matter how conceited that may seem. "Just because I was not raised by wizards does not mean that I am ignorant of magic, Mr. Snape," I say quietly.

"Professor," Snape replies. "It's Professor Snape to you, Rodgers."

"Only if I am forced to stay here at Hogwarts, Severus," I answer pointedly. I can't help but smile at the infuriated look on his face. The rest of our walk is awkwardly silent, Snape nearly six feet ahead of me from that point on. We walk into the large castle and make our way up seven flights of stairs, through countless corridors, and beyond hundreds of rooms. I don't know how long we are walking before Snape stops us, but it seems like a while. The looming silence is probably to blame. Either way, I don't understand why we stop in front of a gargoyle. My first thought is that Snape wants to kill me, but I soon realize that this is foolish. Had he wanted to kill me, he would have done it while we were alone in the woods, not inside a large castle. Still, I don't like being by myself with him.

"Acid Pops," Snape says to the gargoyle. Before I even have time to silently mock him, the gargoyle moves aside to reveal a spiral staircase. He starts his ascent. If I was not such a nosy person, I would have bolted away as soon as Snape turned his back on me, but I can't bring myself to do it. I want to know why there is a stairwell hidden by a gargoyle that requires a password to open.

We get to the top, and there is a door. Snape knocks. There is answer of "Enter," and I am shocked by the odd room I see once the door is opened. The room is circular with a claw-footed desk. Little noises flutter around the room. Before I even have a chance to take in this strange room and fully appreciate it for what it is, my eyes land on the man sitting in the desk. He has long white hair and a long white beard to match. "Severus?" The man has a rather jolly disposition about him.

"Albus, forgive me for this intrusion," Snape begins.

"Don't be ridiculous, Severus," the man called Albus says. "It is only an intrusion if there is no reason for the visit. And by the looks of that young girl standing next to you, I would say that you have a reason for coming to see me."

Snape nods. "This is Charlotte Rodgers. The Dark Lord has demanded her safety. He believes it best for her to be here, under my protection," there is a distinct harshness when he said those last three words. "She has been chosen to bear his child, so he can come back through…" he drifts off. He obviously doesn't want me to know something, or he doesn't know himself and expects Albus to know what he is hinting at. Maybe the older man knows what Voldemort is planning. "Rodgers, this is Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts."

The man smiles at me. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," I say, though I really don't know if it's a pleasure to meet him. I'm not sure if it's a good thing to be acquainted with this man. I prefer being independent, and having him know who I am makes me uncomfortable.

"How old are you, Miss Rodgers?" Dumbledore asks me.

"Fifteen," I say quietly.

"And your parents? Who are they?"

I look away, "Never met them."

Dumbledore locks eyes with Severus. "Why has she been brought here? A new student at the age of fifteen is not going to be overlooked."

"That was my point exactly," Snape agrees.

"Excuse me," I say, "but if it's not too much trouble, sirs, I would much rather one of you do your little magic thing," I would prefer them to have no knowledge of the magic I have taught myself, "and take me somewhere and leave me. I don't want to be here anymore than you want to watch after me. Just let me go."

Dumbledore walks to his desk and picks up a hat. "The Sorting Hat," he announces. "It will tell us which house you will be staying in."

Then it hits me: they're forcing me to stay. I sigh. "And I have no choice in the matter?"

"If the Dark Lord wants you for any reason, your choices are forfeited," Snape answers coldly. "So no, you have no choice in the matter."

I don't like this Severus Snape. Dumbledore hands me the hat. I put it on. "Hmm…" the hat says, frightening me to the bone and causing me to jump. I immediately cover my mouth to hold back a scream and hide some of the red that I suspect is inching its way across my face. Dumbledore smiles at me light-heartedly; Snape remains expressionless. "Cunning and ambitious," I see Snape clench his teeth together, "Slytherin!"

Dumbledore removes the hat. "Congratulations," he says. I look up at Snape, expecting him to congratulate me as well, but he only seems angry. Before I can ask what his problem is, Dumbledore tells me, "Professor Snape is head of the Slytherin house."

"And as House Leader I expect your full obedience," Snape adds, his monotone voice really beginning to annoy me.

"Severus, if you will please lead her to the Slytherin house." The man then turns to me. "The other students are not set to arrive for another fortnight. Your things are where exactly?"

I hadn't given it much thought honestly, but I don't want them know where I've been hiding. What if I need to go back there? "I haven't had 'things' since I was ten and left the orphanage."

Dumbledore seems puzzled but only for a second. "Severus, escort her to Diagon Alley," his voice drops to a hushed whisper, almost too quiet for me to hear, "stick close to her. Be inconspicuous. If Voldemort has indeed returned, you can bet that he has already gotten as many enemies as he does followers. Keep a watchful eye on her. If any of them find out about her, she will be in grave danger. They will gladly kill her without a second thought. To them, she will be no better than a Death Eater." Dumbledore flicks his wand, and a piece of parchment appears in the air. He hands it to Snape.

"You know I am willing to do anything for you, Albus, but I don't the babysitting was ever part of the deal…" Snape glares at me.

"I would take her myself, Severus, but I have to be at the Ministry of Magic early tomorrow morning for the hearing. I can't. I have to prepare for it. I wouldn't put it past the Wizengamot to twist things in their favor. I must be ready for anything."

Snape nods curtly, and I hear a distinct, resentful noise come out of his mouth that sounds a lot like "Potter." There is obviously no way of getting out of this now. I silently curse Lucius Malfoy. "This way, Rodgers," Snape commands. He leads me off the castle grounds so as to Apparate to Diagon Alley, having no idea that I have been to the place, have stolen from the place, and have hidden in the place when needed. We step off the castle grounds, and the too familiar feeling of being stuffed into a tube comes over me.

After just a moment, I open my eyes and behold, again, the wonders of Diagon Alley.

* * *

**What do you think? Considering this is only first chapter, I would really like you to tell me if you think I should continue. Let me know in a review! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. Chapter 4 is when the other students (such as Harry, Ron, and Hermione) come into the story:)**

* * *

**LiuanTobit: Thanks for the follow!**

**ceb521: Thanks for the review and the favorite! And I intend to continue!**

**CHAPTER 2**

"Don't wander too far off," Snape snarls at me. To my surprise, he hands me my wand; it's the same as it was before Lucius expelled it from my hand and over the edge of Durham Cathedral. It's eleven inches, walnut, with a dragon heartstring core. I hadn't seen Malfoy retrieve it. I don't say anything but take it tentatively into my hands. I never thought I'd see it again. Before I can ask how he got it, Snape hands me a bag of gold and the parchment given to him by Dumbledore with the short explanation, "A Hogwarts loan to underprivileged students and the list of supplies you will need while attending this year." It doesn't answer the question of my wand, but I couldn't care less at the moment. I look back up at him, but he is already distancing himself from me. A huge weight removes itself from my shoulders as he fades into the crowd, no doubt trying to stay a reasonable distance away while still "babysitting" me. I have tried to let that comment go over my head, but it bothers me.

Finally, when the greasy-haired man is far enough away, I take off. I have to find a place to Apparate back to the house to get my things. Periodically glancing back to see where he is, I notice that he has already seen me and is, in fact, still following me. I groan. This is going to be more difficult than I originally imagined. I dash into a shop called "Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions" and weave my way through the people that are already in there.

Snape is standing just outside. I get out of his line of sight and Disapparate from inside the shop. The same feeling of being forced into a tube washes over me, but just as fast as it came, it left. I open my eyes. I am in the Muggle home I have been using as a refuge. The kitchen is as clean as it usually is. The Muggles went on vacation a week or so ago. I run through the living room and up the stairs that lead to a balcony overlooking the family room. There are two hallways, one leading to the largest room (probably belonging to the parents) and one leading to two smaller ones (probably belonging to their children). I go to the largest of the rooms. Never having been one to do things halfway, I had claimed the parents' room as mine for the duration of my stay.

My things are neatly piled in the corner. I grab my rucksack and begin cramming all of my things into it. It's not much: some Muggle clothes and a few sets of robes. When I finally get to my books, I gingerly place them into the bag. These things have kept me sane over the past five years, teaching me much about the magical world I would otherwise have no idea about. I sling the bag onto my back and Apparate back to Diagon Alley. I don't go back to the robe shop but rather to the bookstore "Flourish and Botts."

I get the books on the list and leave the shop. After nearly half an hour, I have bought everything I need for the upcoming year at Hogwarts. Snape is still standing outside Madam Malkin's, looking particularly impatient. I approach him from the side. "I'm ready," I tell him.

Taken by surprise, he doesn't speak for a second but looks back inside the robe shop. "Where did you go?" he asks me, sounding much angrier than I thought he would.

"Through the alley," I answer defensively, "getting the things I need for Hogwarts," I spit the name of the school out of my mouth like it is a poison, "like I was supposed to."

Snape looks closely at me for a second like he wants to say something, but decides not to. Instead, he says, "Let's get out of here then." Again, acting completely in awe of the idea of Apparation, I take his arm, and we're gone.

We stop in the forest just beyond Hogwarts. I hoist my rucksack farther onto back. "Why don't we just Apparate straight into the castle?" I ask him.

"Charms prevent Apparation inside or on the grounds," Snape answers shortly.

I can't help but find this strange. I've never had any trouble Apparating anywhere before. "Why?" I ask, though I feel as if I already know the answer.

"Protections against Dark Wizards, such as Dark Lord," Snape answers just as rudely as he did with my first question.

"Well, then it hasn't worked, has it?"

Snape steals a glance at me. "How so?"

"Well, it's just that you're here. I know you are a Death Eater. Death Eaters are followers of Voldemort. So, in a way, Voldemort has penetrated into Hogwarts. Correct?" It's so easy to understand that I don't know why I even had to explain.

Instead of answering my question, Snape says, "Don't use the Dark Lord's name."

"If I'm going to be forced to have his baby, I believe I am entitled to call him whatever I want to call him!" I shout defiantly. Snape doesn't even reply this time. When we enter Hogwarts, we don't go up the stairs, the only place I remotely remember. This time, we go down. The farther we travel the more the feeling of oppression comes over me. Voldemort once walked these very halls. The very thought gives me chills, and before I know it, we're in what looks like the dungeons.

Snape walks over to one of the walls and says something, but I'm too in awe of everything to hear what it was. "The password will change at the beginning of the school year," he comments.

Now I wish I had been listening to him. "I'm sorry, the what will change?"

"The password, Rodgers," he says bitterly. "I suggest you pay attention. It will serve you well as you spend your year here. For now it's 'Salazar.'" I have no retort for this.

The room we step into has a green glow to it. Green and silver decorate the room. I can only assume these are the Slytherin colors. There's a fireplace and nice sofas. There are tables to work at, probably for the schoolwork I'll be assigned. Speaking of which, "If I don't want to be here, I obviously don't care if I pass or fail," I tell Snape, "so is it necessary for me to do any of the work that will no doubt be assigned?"

Snape sighs. "Yes, you will have to do all of the work." He looks at me. "It is necessary to keep up the look of you being a normal student."

"Well," I say, thoroughly annoyed, "I find myself tired of your company. Where can I go?"

Snape clenches his teeth together. It makes me happy that I know he can't harm me because the Dark Lord would punish him. "Through there," he points to one of the walls. "Go through there and up the stairs. There are different rooms for each year. You'll be in your fifth year." He turns and walks out of the room.

I go to the wall, and it opens, revealing a passage. There are a few steps that lead to an open area with seven doors, each of a different year. I go to the one I assume is for fifth year and step inside. The room is circular with six four-poster beds against the wall. The same as it was in the common room, green and silver are the main colors of the room, even of the curtains offering privacy over each bed. I throw my rucksack onto the bed farthest from the door and look around. After having camped out in a number houses, always getting the largest room, and having the house to myself, it's going to take some getting used to sharing a room with five others. The thought itself bums me out.

I flop down onto the bed and open my rucksack. Desiring to know just a little more about Hogwarts, I open one of the books I got from Diagon Alley, _Hogwarts: A History_.

* * *

I don't know what time it is when I awaken the next morning, but I quickly learn that it is too late to just now be getting up. As I leave the Slytherin Dungeon and reach ground level, I see the sun high in the sky. There are only two people inside the castle that I have met: Dumbledore and Snape. I know Dumbledore is gone, something to do with a hearing. And quite frankly, I don't want to run into Snape. So I explore. Toward the entrance of Hogwarts was a large room with four extremely long tables. This must be the Great Hall. At the end of this room was a table with a large throne-like chair in the center. I'm not overly interested in the room at the moment, so I continue the search.

I am determined to reach one of the highest points of castle, so I can look at the entire grounds of Hogwarts. It was sheer luck that I found the West Tower. There were a few owls, leading me to believe that this is the Owlery. A wide smile breaks its way across my face against my will. Then I rush back to the Great Hall and slide into the table closest to the door. I pull a piece of parchment, ink, and a quill from my robes and begin writing.

_Dear reader of this letter,_

_I'd like to start by saying, "How are you?" My name is Charlotte. If you don't mind, I would appreciate your sympathy – or a response. You see, my life has recently been turned upside down. I went from being an independent girl to being forced to go to some school "for my safety." Whatever that means… Anyway, I have no one here to talk to. I've met one professor and the headmaster. The headmaster seems nice enough. The professor is awful; he's just a bitter, foul person. _

_So, as you can probably see, having someone to correspond with can easily make life here a lot more tolerable. I'm at a school called Hogwarts. I'll be trapped here indefinitely, which is dreadful. I was planning on staying in my last home for at least another week before moving (I move quite frequently). Then I was going to get a cat, maybe a dog, just something to keep me company. I might even get an owl. I have yet to decide. If you're not busy, please write back._

_Sincerely,_

_Charlotte_

I stare down at my letter, completely pleased with myself. Maybe this year won't be as bad as I fear. "Who are you?" a voice asks me. My happiness instantly drains out of me. I fold the parchment and look up. Standing before me is a witch with her hair pulled back in a tight bun. I'm stunned speechless. "I expect an answer when I ask a question."

Finding my voice, I say, "Char – Charlotte Rodgers." The witch's skepticism isn't hidden very well. "And who are you?" the words slip out before I can stop them.

"I am Professor McGonagall. I teach Transfiguration here at Hogwarts," she says quickly. "What are you doing here?"

Before I have a chance to answer, Snape enters the room. "My apologies, Professor McGonagall," he says, not sounding the least bit sincere in his apology, "this is a student here by permission of the headmaster. She will be attending Hogwarts this year."

McGonagall nods. "Has she been Sorted?"

"Slytherin," he answers. "Fifth year. Her name is Charlotte Rodgers." I really don't appreciate them talking about me as if I am not sitting right beside them.

McGonagall replies, "I will inform the other faculty, so they are not taken so off guard as I was." She doesn't sound upset, just informative. Then she turns and makes her way out of the Great Hall, leaving me with Snape.

He glances at me. "Don't wander around the castle." Then he, too, leaves me sitting there.

Once he has been gone for what I feel is an appropriate amount of time, I get up to go back to the Owlery. When I reach it, I tie the unaddressed letter to the owl's leg. "Take it to anyone," I tell it. It flies out of the tower and disappears in the sky. With nothing left to do, I head back to the Slytherin common room, already planning on being bored and bitter. But on the way, I run into McGonagall again. We briefly have eye contact as we pass each other in one of the corridors. I stop, but she continues walking. I turn and chase her down.

"Professor?" I say.

She turns enough to see who is it but doesn't stop. "Yes, Rodgers?"

I can't help but wonder why the professors refer to the students by their last name, but that's a trivial wondering. I ask what I had already been planning on ask, "You said you teach Transfiguration, right?"

"That is correct." By this time, she has slowed her pace down, making it easier to keep up with her without panting like a dog. "I can assume you have been taught at your previous school the dangers, implications, and benefits of Transfiguration?"

"Previous school?" I snort without thinking. "I've never been at a school before!"

McGonagall stops suddenly, immediately causing me to regret my slip-up. "Never been to a school that teaches magic?" she says quietly. "How do you expect to make it anywhere in the Wizarding world having never been taught? All those in your year have had four years of lessons behind them."

I smile. "Oh, I've been taught, Professor," I assure her. "I've taught myself magic since I was ten. I think I'll be fine." Her lips become really thin, and I hurry on to ease the tension I feel rising. "But I did want to ask you something about Transfiguration." She nods, and I take that as a go ahead. "About a month ago, I was – well, starving quite honestly – and there was a huge rock in the cave where I was staying." Her eyebrows crease. I have to get through this before she starts questioning me about my life prior to showing up here. "Anyway, I tried transfiguring it into a loaf of bread. It wouldn't work. Do you know why?"

"Food is one of The Five Principle Exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. The food must already be there for you to transform it. Or you can summon it if you know where it is, but you cannot make food from something that is not. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Professor," I answer. "Thank you." I turn on my heel, knowing full well that McGonagall is watching me but not caring. I go back to the Great Hall, intending to write another letter to an unknown person. When I get back into the room, there is a small creature cleaning the table. "Hello?" I call to it. "Who – what are you?"

"Dobby is a house-elf," he says in a high, squeaky voice.

"A house-elf?" I ask. "So, do you work in the kitchen?"

"Yes, Dobby works all over Hogwarts. Dobby gets paid to work. Dobby is a free elf," he answers proudly.

I smile at him. "Could you bring me some pumpkin juice? And maybe some roast chicken?"

"Yes, Dobby will go right away." And with that, the elf disappears with a loud _crack!_ I settle myself back onto the bench at the long table and pull out more parchment, ink, and a quill. Ignoring my rumbling stomach, I begin my second letter.

**Let me know what you thought! I really appreciate reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! A special thank to ceb521 for the review. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**CHAPTER 3**

Dobby had returned to the Great Hall within minutes, bringing the food with him. I took it gladly and practically inhaled it. Then I finished my letter, escorted it back to the Owlery, tied it to the leg of the owl I used the first time (I'm surprised he got back so quickly), and went back to the Slytherin Dungeons. That's where I am now, just as bored and bitter as I previously predicted. If I knew where the kitchen was, I would go there. I suspect there are a lot of house-elves down there, and if they're all like Dobby, I would be glad to spend time with them. But I have a feeling that the kitchen is off-limits to students, which I am, despite how much I hate it.

I pull my wand from my robes and admire it. Upon my first entrance to Diagon Alley, when I was ten, the wand chose me. Of course, I had no way of paying for it, so I bolted with the wand. Ollivander didn't follow me. There were a lot of people in the shop; I guess that's why. I don't know. It doesn't matter much. After a few months, when I had gotten enough to pay for the wand, I took it back to Ollivander and left it on the counter with a note saying "For the wand I stole a few months ago" and left, never to return.

Glancing around the Slytherin common room, an idea strikes me. What better way to entertain myself than with magic? I sit down in one of the chairs by the table. Pointing my wand at the chair beneath me, I shout, "_Wingardium Leviosa!_" The chair lifts me into the air shakily, so shaky that I have to grab the seat of the chair to stabilize myself. I go higher, trying to reach the ceiling, trying to write a message on it.

Balancing the best I can, I release my hand from the seat and plunge into my robes. As I dip the quill in the ink, I hear someone shout "What are you doing?" so loud that I lose my concentration and fall to the floor. The chair smashes when it hits the ground; I let slip a yelp of pain that comes with the fire in my hip. Snape looks utterly disgusted with me. "I'll ask you again, Rodgers: What are you doing?"

"Well," I cough, standing and holding my hip to keep back the stabbing pain, "I am trying to entertain myself, considering I'm trapped in this hellhole called Hogwarts."

"You should consider it a privilege to be here at Hogwarts," Snape replies coldly. "Professor Dumbledore has made it the best school of witchcraft and wizardry in –"

"Yeah, all of Britain. I believe you've already succeeded in giving me this spiel," I interject. I finally release my hip, ignoring the fact that I can feel my pulse in it. "What do you want?"

"What were you doing before I walked in? Trying to deface school property?" he snarls back.

"Precisely, and I would have finished had you not interrupted," I snap at him. "What do you want?"

He sneers. "The headmaster has returned and has ordered a meeting between you and the professors," Snape says slowly. "And for obvious reasons, you are expected to be there. It starts in ten minutes. Go to the headmaster's office."

Snape spins around and leaves, his robes billowing behind him. I smile and start following him. "Are you going there now?" I call after him. He doesn't answer. I stay to his right side, far enough so I don't feel weird but close enough to make Snape uncomfortable. With every step he takes, he gets a little farther away from me, but I follow his lead and try to get closer. This goes on enough for him to be almost completely shoved against the wall by the time we reach Dumbledore's office. Snape says, "Acid pops," to the gargoyle. It opens, and we head up the stairs to the door.

Instead of Dumbledore being alone in his office as he was the first time I entered it, Professor McGonagall is in there too. Beside her stands a small man, and beside him stands another woman. On the other side of the room were a few other people that I suspect are professors as well. I look to Dumbledore. "Miss Rodgers," he greets me.

"Professor," I reply.

"Please," he answers, "have a seat." I walk to the chair and sit down, suddenly conscious that everyone else in the room is standing. A feeling of intense vulnerability takes over me, but I don't know why. He turns his attention back to the professors in his office. "This is Charlotte Rodgers," he begins. "She is a foreign-exchange student from Durmstrang Institute." He glances at me, clearly telling me not to oppose this. I steal a look at McGonagall. She doesn't seem taken by surprise, so I can only assume that Dumbledore has told at least some of the truth. "She is in danger of Lord Voldemort's followers, and with Igor Karkaroff missing, her parents believed it safer here."

I look down, twiddling my thumbs, feeling overly awkward but don't speak.

"She has been Sorted into Slytherin. She is fifth year," he adds.

"Will she be expected to take the O.W.L.s?" McGonagall asks.

"Yes," Dumbledore answers. "She will be here indefinitely. She will need to accomplish that which is required of all other fifth year students."

I move uncomfortably in the chair. "Excuse me," I say quietly. I can feel all the eyes that turn to look at me. "What are O.W.L.s?"

"Ordinary Wizarding Levels," Dumbledore answers. "It tests what you know, and it gives you an idea of what career you should go into."

And if I don't want to go into a career? If I want to stay a thief my whole life? Because, let's face it, when Lord Voldemort takes over, none of those careers will matter anyways. I don't voice these of course. I just nod at him.

"These will be your professors this year," Dumbledore tells me. I give a shy smile and a noncommittal glance to each side of the room. Most of them return my feeble attempt at being cordial. Dumbledore doesn't introduce all of them; he sends them all out of the office, leaving me alone with him. I remain quiet. He breaks the silence. "I need you to tell me a few things."

I nod silently.

"You can speak," he says cheerfully.

"Yes, sir," I reply.

"I need you to tell me all you know about your family."

I shift uncomfortably. I hadn't expected this. "Well," I say, "my great-uncle took me in when I was just a baby. He kept me for a year then sent me to an orphanage. I've never met my parents."

"Do you know where they are now?"

"I assume they are both dead. My mother was sent to Azkaban. I believe my father left us. Both of them thought I died."

"How do you know that?" he asks.

"My Uncle – his name was Al or something, maybe Alfred, I didn't pay much attention to his name – gave the orphanage a letter that told me everything. They gave it to me when I turned ten. When I found out what I am, I left the orphanage. Although, I shouldn't have been surprised: I have always been able to do things that others couldn't."

"What kind of things?"

I know I should tell him that I'm a Metamorphmagus, but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel as if that particular part of me is too personal to share with someone I hardly know. "I don't know, to be honest. Just, when I wanted something to happen, it would. Doors would unlock for me. The kids who would bully me would always end up hurt, or they would become confused as to who they are or what they were doing. Somehow I always knew it was me doing it. So when I opened the letter, I left."

"And you just walked out the front door? No one tried stopping you?"

"I did it in the night," I lie. "No one knew about it until the next morning. But by that time, I was already gone."

Dumbledore's gaze seems to be penetrating me. "What did the letter from your Uncle Al say?"

"He told me that I was a witch. He said my mother was in Azkaban. He didn't really mention my father. Er – he told me that both of my parents believe I am dead. They didn't know he was raising me. He had been disowned by the family. Uh – he told me that after a year with me, he – um – lost the will to care for me. So he got rid of me," try as I might, there is no hiding the resentment creeping into voice. Even I can hear it. I take a deep breath to calm myself, then continue, "I went looking for him after I left the orphanage, but he was already dead; he died in '85. His house was abandoned. I found another letter addressed to me. In it, he told me that my mother was dead, that she died in Azkaban. He told me what he knew of Voldemort's plan for me. He told me that Voldemort's followers would come looking for me, and to ensure my safety I would need to go to Diagon Alley to get a wand and some books to teach myself how to defend myself using magic."

"So you've been to Diagon Alley more than just with Professor Snape," he says quietly. It's not a question or an accusation, just a general statement, but I can still feel the heat rising up my cheeks.

"Yes, Professor," I answer. "Uncle Al left me some gold, not much, but enough. He told me to use it sparingly because it's all I would have for quite a few years. I didn't know how to manage money. I used it all up books, and resorted to stealing everything else I needed." Dumbledore give me a disapproving glance, and I quickly add, "I would come back and leave payment as I came by it, always trying to make up for what I had taken."

"Do you know if your father was a Muggle or a wizard?" he asks me.

"I…I don't know, sir. I honestly don't think Rodgers is my real last name, so there's no way for me to know if he was a wizard or not. I like to think he was…but I'm not sure." I look away from him.

"When were you born?"

"21 November 1979," I say. Dumbledore gets up and goes to one of his shelves and pulls out a rather large book. After opening it and examining it for a moment, he takes out his wand and gives it a wave. He then moans and puts it back on the shelf. "What was that?"

"It records the day and name that any magical child is born, and to whom they are born," he answers, making his way back to his desk. "You were not in there."

I don't know what to think. "Does that mean I'm not supposed to be a witch?"

Dumbledore shakes his head. "You were in there at one point, Miss Rodgers, but you've been blotted out, magically, as if you had died right after birth. It is impossible to read it." He looks straight at me with his piercing blue eyes. "Someone didn't want the Wizarding world to know that you exist."

"The only person I can think of would be Voldemort," I reply quietly. Dumbledore doesn't respond. He seems deep in concentration. I slowly get up and back out of the room. He doesn't stop me.

I storm down to the Slytherin Dungeons. Once I get inside, without thinking, I pull out my wand and begin throwing everything around the room, not caring what I break or how much noise I make. Destroying everything makes me feel better, like something else is experiencing the same destruction that I am. For some reason, even though I dreaded coming, I thought that being at Hogwarts was going to answer some of my questions. But no, it only gave me more. Who was my father? Who was my mother? Why was name blotted out as if I died? Why didn't my great-uncle answer these questions? He must have known I would have them! What did my mother do to get locked up in Azkaban? Why did my father leave us? Why did Voldemort choose me?

I collapse in the middle of the room, sobbing. After all I've been through, after everything I've done, I want peace, but it doesn't seem like I'll ever get that. My life will always be in shambles. Just then, I hear a voice shout, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I HEARD A NOISE BUT DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE DESTROYING HOGWARTS!"

I look up, and through my watery eyes I can see the unmistakable form of Severus Snape standing in the entrance, obviously enraged. Before I realize what I'm doing, I've drawn my wand and am shouting "_STUPEFY_!"Snape is hit and knocked backward. I turn to the room, shout "_Reparo_!" The contents of the room fly back together, making it seem as though I had never ruined it. I turn back to Snape. What have I done?

I don't see his wand, so I can't take it. With nothing left to do, I run. I run in fear of punishment and the idea of pain. And if the house-elves' food is always as good as that which Dobby brought me, then I'm going to regret being expelled, so I run for the food as well. I reach the top of the stairs when I hear, "RODGERS!" coming from the dungeon. I run faster. I don't care what it takes, I will not be caught by Severus Snape. I will not be punished before the school year even starts.

I glance back. I can see a shadow of Snape cast by the torches. Before I have a chance to dart into a room or down a corridor, I hear Snape shout, "_Impedimenta_!" I'm knocked to the floor, my wand slipping from my hand as I fall and hurtling nearly six feet in front of me. I try moving forward, but every move I make is in slow motion. Snape grabs me by my robes and pulls me to my feet only to slam me into the wall, his wand in my face, his hand on my throat. "And just WHAT –" he closes his eyes for a second, then continues, "do you think you're doing?" his voice is much calmer than I thought it would have been for this scenario.

"Well," I croak, trying to pull my neck a little away from his hand so I can breathe and speak properly. "At the moment, I'm trying not to die by asphyxiation." Snape loosens his hold on my neck. "Now, I'm trying to figure out why you were chasing me and threatening me."

"Don't get smart with me, Rodgers," he spits. "It's not in your best interest."

"Oh, so now you're worried about my best interest? I thought you'd be more focused on the Dark Lord's best interest!" I spit back.

Snape takes a step back, releasing me, but leaves his wand pointed at me. "Professor Snape!" I hear a familiar voice shout through the hall. I look over and see McGonagall approaching us, clearly shocked. "What are you doing to this student?"

"Teaching her a lesson," Snape replies, "about how to respect authority."

"We don't punish like that, Severus. You know this," McGonagall doesn't sound angry, still just completely awestruck to find a professor threatening a student at wandpoint. "What could she have possibly done?"

"Stunned me," he says bitterly, lowering his wand.

Now McGonagall looks angry. She looks at me expectantly. I have to think quickly. "Well," I choke, forcing myself to begin crying, "I…I blacked out…I…I thought I was back in the cave…where I've been living…for a while…and when Professor Snape came in…he-he startled me…and I-I reacted…I thought he was the man who-who's been trying…trying to kill me…for the past few years…it was a mistake…" By this point, I have tears rolling down my cheeks, and I have burst into sobs. "I…I'm so sorry!" For good measure, I sink to the floor and bury my face into my knees, still sobbing.

It takes a minute before McGonagall bends down and helps me up. "Why would someone be trying to kill you?" she asks quietly. I shake my head to tell her I have no answer. "Why don't you come with me to my office so you can calm down a bit?" I nod, giving her a shaky smile. When she bends down to pick my wand up for me, I give Snape a wide grin, which quickly leaves my face when McGonagall hands me my wand. She leads me out of the corridor, leaving Snape scowling in our wake.

**Please review and let me know what you think or what I should change! I appreciate your thoughts so much!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I was wrong. The other students won't come in until the next chapter. Sorry**

**nightworldangel: Thank you for the favorite and the follow!**

**ceb521: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the Snape part. I enjoyed writing it!**

**CHAPTER 4**

I step into McGonagall's office not knowing what to expect. Her office seems to be more of a classroom, which I suspect is what it really is, only that she uses it interchangeably. I sit down in front of her desk. She probably has an actual office and sleeping quarters, but I don't feel like going into too much detail about her life by asking her; I don't want to see too curious about Hogwarts and the interworking of the place. She takes her place at her desk and looks at me. A moment later, she waves her wand, summoning two butterbeers. She hands me one.

I eagerly take it. I've only ever had one in my life, and I loved it. I take a large swig of it, savoring the butterscotch flavor for a few glorious moments before I look back at McGonagall. "I know that Dumbledore's story about you is a lie," she finally says to me. "After our short conversation, I spoke with him rather than informing the other professors myself that there was a student here."

"What did he say?" I ask slowly.

"He didn't know much about your life before Severus brought you here," she answers. "I suspect you told him about yourself by now?"

"What little I know I told," I say, grabbing the butterbeer again. "Did you bring me in here to ask me what I know?"

"Certainly not," she answers swiftly. "I brought you in here because I know Severus can have a temper, and I didn't want to jeopardize his reputation here at Hogwarts."

In my opinion, his reputation can't be that great to begin with. "He had every right to be as pissed at me as he was," I inform her. "I mean, I did Stun him." I forcefully have to fight back my smile. McGonagall doesn't seem to notice; she has pulled out some papers and is writing away. "Professor?"

She glances up. "Yes?"

"I would like to tell you about my past." I don't know what is driving me to talk, but I can't stop it, and I tell her everything about myself that I know, leaving out my duty to Voldemort. That's certainly not a good way to get on her good side.

"Why are you telling me these things?" she says when I finish. "I did not wish for you to tell me. I didn't bring you in here to coax your past out of you. If Albus knows and is allowing you to stay here, that's enough for me."

I look down. The answer to why I told her becoming clearer in my mind. "Honestly, Professor, it's because you saved me from Snape." She gives me a questioning gaze, which forces me to continue, "Well, as you can tell from what I've told you, I have had no connection with anyone since my days at the orphanage. I think…you remind me of Mrs. Stoico, the caretaker at the orphanage." Mrs. Stoico had been like a mother to me. I told McGonagall about her in detail, from how she cared about me more than the other orphans to how she begged me not to leave after I had read my letter. She was a Squib, so she knew what I was, except about me be a Metamorphmagus. Holding my breath, I look up at McGonagall, but only for a second before I look away and continue, "I haven't had anyone in my life I feel like I can talk to besides her."

She looks at me for a second, then asks quietly, "Then why did you not go back when you discovered your uncle was deceased?"

With shaky hands, I grab the butterbeer and try to force down a swallow, but am unable, almost choking it up. This time, I don't force myself to cry; this time, I try hiding the tears. I have told no one that Mrs. Stoico had died while I was gone. Well, I've never actually spoken of Mrs. Stoico in the past five years. So I say, "It was time for me to move on, Professor. I couldn't live in the Muggle world, not with the knowledge of being a witch."

I know it is a poor excuse; I know of many witches and wizards that go back to the Muggle world while attending Hogwarts (reading _Hogwarts: A History_ has told me as much), but whether it is my cracking voice or my poorly hidden tears that drives her to drop the subject, I don't know. She seems to know there's more to it, but doesn't try to push me. "So you've taught yourself for five years?" her voice has a slight crack in it as well, and I try not to look up at her when I hear it. "How far along do you think you are? Do you think you are prepared for fifth year work?"

"I believe I am," I say. "I've had a lot of time to do nothing but magic."

"Could you demonstrate?" McGonagall asks me, trying to put a light tone in her voice.

I smile. "Sure," I laugh. "I've never been asked to demonstrate magic. So forgive me if it's not what you expect." I pick up my wand. "This particular transfiguration saved my life earlier this year." I stand up and move a few steps away from the desk. "_Serpensortia_!" a snake appeared from thin air and turns to me, ready to strike. I then say, "_Confringo_!" The snake bursts into flames and leaves a small puff of black smoke. With the smoke dispersing through the room, I wave my wand one more time, the smoke reforms and solidifies, becoming three daggers, which I direct to the wall. They smack it and fall to the floor. I look back to McGonagall. "I didn't have to go through so much to get to the daggers, because the other wizard was creating the smoke for me. He had set the house I was staying in on fire. And summoning the snake is just one of my favorite spells. I've learned that snakes can be very intimidating."

"That they can." McGonagall takes a drink of butterbeer at the same time that I take a drink of mine. Then she smiles at me. "I don't think I need to worry about your Transfiguration abilities," she assures me.

"That's good to know," I reply. "Transfiguration is one of the things I studied the hardest the past few years. It intrigues me, even more than Charms, which I enjoy quite a lot as well."

"Your least favorite subject would be what?" she asks.

"Either Herbology or Potions," I answer. "It was hard for me to get the needed supplies for those, so I just lost interest. Potions was okay when I had the needed materials, but I focused mainly on Transfiguration, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Hmm," she thinks to herself quietly, "Have you been able to produce the Patronus Charm?"

"No, Professor," I say, somewhat ashamed and embarrassed. "I tried once. I couldn't get it to come, but I expect…I expect that's because I don't have many happy memories to create one with."

A small cough escapes her. "Don't feel too bad. It's a difficult charm, one that a lot of grown witches and wizards struggle with."

"Can you make one?" I ask. I've only ever seen pictures of them, and I think I'll enjoy seeing one in person."

She nods. "_Expecto Patronum_!" I can't help but be stunned as a patronus cat bursts from McGonagall's wand and dashes around the room. I watch it intently until it fades away. "I've always had an affinity for cats," she comments.

I'm only in her office a few more minutes after that before I bid her a good rest of the day and make my way back to the Slytherin Dungeon. On the way, I stop at the Great Hall and pull another piece of parchment and a quill and ink from my robes. I start my third letter to a reader from whom I have yet to get a response. Something tells me that this next one will certainly get a reply.

_Dear reader,_

_You seem like a busy person, considering I've written you two letters and have not gotten a response from you. No matter, I think you'll want to know what happened today._

I recount in detail about my destruction of the Slytherin Dungeons, even talking about Stunning Snape. Of course, I paint myself in a totally innocent light, telling whoever gets my letter the same lie I told McGonagall of why I attacked him. I smile down at the letter after reading it then stuff it back into my robes. "Dobby?" I ask. Within seconds, the little house-elf appears beside me with the same loud _crack!_ as before. "Dobby," I say, "could you bring me something to eat? It doesn't matter what; I'm starving."

Dobby smiles, then disappears again. Instead of Dobby bringing it back, there is another elf. I don't have a chance to ask its name before it vanishes. On the plate in front of me sits some kind of sandwich, the likes of which I've never seen. Nevertheless, it looks pretty good. I pick it up in one hand and the drink in my other hand. I get up and go back to the Owlery. I've finished the sandwich – it was some kind of roast – and am gulping down what's left of my butterbeer. That makes two today. It went from being a nightmare to quite a relaxing day. I set the goblet down on a random table and enter the Owlery. I find the same owl and tie my letter to its leg. "Take it to the same person." Then it leaves.

* * *

I lie on one of the sofas in the Slytherin common room, attempting to find a means of entertainment that won't lead to Stunning Snape again. I haven't seen him since then, and I'm dreading the moment I have to face him. Being in the moment, I couldn't help but smile back at him when McGonagall saved me. So it's no doubt that he knows the truth. A shudder runs through me at the thought.

Absent-mindedly, I write all of the questions of my life in the air. Maybe seeing them will help me sort through them; maybe seeing them will help me answer them. But I doubt it. The only thing drawing in the air does is relax me as I think about my impending punishment with Snape. There's no doubt in my mind that he will do so while undermining the rules of Hogwarts.

A piece of paper flies into the room and flutters around my head, then finally falls onto my lap. I sit up, erasing all of my airborne questions, and open the letter.

_Dear sender,_

My heart stops. Could this be my salvation finally answering my desperate pleas for communication? But why didn't an owl bring it? Then again, I am in the dungeons. But how would the writer know this? How would they have known to put a charm on the letter to send it to the Slytherin common room? I silently curse myself for my constant questions and continue.

_I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a difficult time, but nevertheless I am sure the person in charge orchestrated it for your own safety._

_Sincerely,_

_Your reader_

I stop reading. After three letters telling some unknown person about myself, I only get one sentence in response, one lousy sentence, one surprisingly inadequate sentence? What kind of sick joke is this? My fist is crumbling the paper furiously when I see the black marks on the back. Quickly, I stop and open it back up, straightening out the wrinkles.

_P.S. I could not care less about your situation. You are stuck here_ – why would he say "here" and not "there?" – _at Hogwarts for the duration of the Dark Lord's ascension to power once again. Stop using Hogwarts resources for your petty letters. The headmaster would not appreciate the waste._

_ – Professor Snape_

The paper is crumbled once again. How dare he? I was trying to get a pen pal of sorts, and Snape had to ruin that too! I jump to my feet, not even trying to hide my anger. Spinning on my heel, I charge for the door and fling it open with my wand. Once outside the room, I look around. Where is Snape's office? I've never been there before. I glance around and decide to walk straight. Maybe I'll come across it. I stop at the first door and press my ear against it, straining to hear any life coming from inside. After a few minutes, I walk on. He's not in there. So I go to the next: Same thing. And the next has with the same result as the first two.

The third door I come across seems promising. I hear something the first few seconds that I listen to it. Trying the handle gives me no luck: The door is locked. I point my want at it. "_Alohomora!" _I throw the door open, preparing to shout at Severus Snape for trying everything he can to make my time my miserable when I see that he isn't there. I feel my pulse slowing. That's when I register the fact that I am completely overreacting to the whole thing. It's not as bad as I made it to be.

Steadily calming down, I turn to leave, only to ram right into someone's chest. I look up and into the face of Severus Snape. "I see you got my letter," he says coolly, glancing at my balled fist. Up until now, I haven't realized it was still in my hand. Without any chance of stopping it, I feel the blood rush to my cheeks. "And can I guess that it is I whom you were viciously searching for a moment ago?"

I stiffen my jaw. I won't fall into his taunts. I refuse to attack him like I did earlier. It would be far too risky. "Excuse me, Professor," I say through gritted teeth, trying to get around him. He throws his arm in front of me and pushes me back into the room. "May I help you, _Professor_?"

"Yes," he says. His tone is darker than usual, so much in fact that I can't stop my eyes from wandering to his face, which is expressionless. His brow is creased. It's obvious that he's still mad. The flickering of the torches casts a shadow over his face that only makes him look more menacing. His black eyes penetrate straight into my soul. "If you ever use any sort of magic against me again," he's practically growling at me, "you are going to be begging the Dark Lord to rescue you from my clutches."

I stare at him, speechless. Had he said something like "you're going to wish you had never come to Hogwarts" or "you're going to begging someone to rescue you from Hogwarts" I would have a witty retort for him. But his mentioning Voldemort completely threw me off. All I can do is nod at him and whisper a hardly audible, "Yes, Professor Snape." He slides to the side to let me go back to the Slytherin common room.

I reach the door, but before I can say the password, I turn to yell what I had planned on yelling at him before I got distracted. It's in that moment that I see a jet of scarlet red light coming at me. Before I can react, I'm hit with the Stunning Spell, and everything goes black.

I don't know how long it is before I open my eyes again. My hand flies to my head. I look around. I'm in the Slytherin common room. I'm lying on one of the sofas. Snape is in a chair across from me. "What the devil was that about," I croak. I bring myself into a sitting position. Snape is wearing an evil smirk. "You already –"

"Hit you with a spell?" he asks, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes," I say. I swing my legs over the side of the sofa to look more natural in the seat and to occupy myself with something other than looking at him. A bitter taste lingers in my mouth. "Are we even now?" Snape doesn't answer, just smiles at me. "Truce?" I try again, even going so far as to hold out my hand.

Looking curious, he shakes my hand. "For now," he answers. Then he stands and walks to the door and leaves without another word. I go back to the dormitory of the fifth-year Slytherin girls and curl up on my bed.

**What'd you think? Let me know in a review! They help me write faster!**

**Thanks for reading my fic!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for reading!**

**ceb521: I try to update as fast as possible. I hate when people take forever to post the next chapter. I strive not to do that...**

**CHAPTER 5**

The next few days went by pretty quietly. The house-elves brought me food whenever I requested it (I've never had service this good before), and Snape and I have been on relatively good terms. He still looks at me like I'm some evil creature trying to steal all that is pleasant in the world, but we haven't had any more incidents. I met a few of my other professors. None of them were as interesting as McGonagall, whom I've spoken to very little since being in her office, but I don't think it's because she's upset at me; I just haven't seen her around the castle.

From what Snape told me this morning, the other students are supposed to be coming today, which will bring a big change in the way I've been living these past two weeks. Snape told me to wait at the entrance of the Great Hall and casually merge into a group of Slytherins and try not to draw attention to myself. This is exactly what I plan to do. Unfortunately, the other students won't be getting her for a few hours. So again, I'm left to wander around the castle by myself.

Instead of staying inside, as I've done many times, I plan to go outside. I have spent a lot of time in the Astronomy Tower over the past few days and have found myself, on many occasions, staring longingly down at beech tree near the lake. I've never been able to relax under a tree or by any type of lake. I could never risk being out in the open for too long. That's where I'm planning on going. I grab up my bag and head that way.

Before I sit down, I examine the area. Despite the fact that I don't want to be here at Hogwarts, it does give off a very comforting vibe. I slowly sit down and rest my back against the tree. An emotion I can't describe washes over me. I mean, I'm ecstatic to be here without the Death Eaters looming over me, but I have a feeling that something bad once happened here. A snake slithers into the lake. I can only imagine what the feeling of being completely and utterly free is like. I've never had the gift to speak to snakes, but I've always wanted to. Most creatures, even humans, are intimidated by them, but I find them fascinating. They're always on their faces, but they keep moving as if it doesn't bother them. They don't care that being on your face is typically something to be ashamed of.

"_Accio snake_," I say. The snake flies from the lake's water and straight into my hand. It hisses at me, but I keep my hand clamped close enough to its mouth so it can't bite me. "Hello," I greet it. Again, it opens its mouth, and with a jolt of anticipation, I expect it to answer. Instead, it only hisses again. "_Depulso snake_." Though I may never speak to them, I can certainly learn to be as content as they are.

Around me there are a bunch of twigs. I pick up a handful and throw them into the air, one at a time. Each time one is released, I point my wand at them and say, "_Expulso_." A small explosion occurs from every one of them. It seems childish, even to me, that I'm causing tiny explosions, but I don't want to stop. Every time that I tried to practice any magic while I was on the run, I would have to constantly watch my surroundings to make sure no one was coming to kill me while my guard was down. The fact that I can sit by a lake, under a tree, in broad daylight, and do magic with no worries is a feeling thought I would never know.

I wonder… Abruptly, I stand to my feet. I take a quick survey of the grounds to make sure no one is watching. "_Expecto Patronum_!" Nothing happens. I concentrate on the moment that I'm in, the first time in my life where I've felt both free and happy at the same time, and I try it again. This time, a silver vapor comes from the tip of my wand. I sit back down after this. It's the closest I've ever gotten to creating the true Patronus Charm. I think I'll settle for that today.

With the sun bearing down on me, I drift off into a nap.

* * *

I doubt I would have awoken until that next morning had Snape not come to fetch me because "Those in my House will not be late for the Start of Term Feast in the Great Hall" or something to that effect. I was still a little dazed.

Now I am standing behind the large doors leading into the Great Hall. I'm supposed to just merge with a group of people and sit down at the Slytherin table. This is the moment I've probably been dreading most of all. I don't know how much yet, but I know things are going to change with the beginning of the school year.

A large group comes in moments later. I try to wait until at least one person sits at the Slytherin table before I take a seat. At the moment, a boy with white-blond hair, a pale face, and gray eyes walks past me. He sits down at the Slytherin table with a group around him. Somehow, I feel as if I know him, and I find myself going to sit down diagonal from him. The girl beside him looks at me, her face full of hatred. "Who are you? We've never seen you here before," she spits at me.

I inwardly sigh. If all the Slytherins are as dreadful as this girl and Snape, my life is going to be a living hell. "Charlotte Rodgers," I answer. "I'm a fifth year transfer from Durmstrang." I hope my answer doesn't sound as mechanical to them as it does to me.

"Well," the blond-headed boy says, "you're in Slytherin, so you can't be too bad. I'm Malfoy," that's how I know him; he looks like his father, "Draco Malfoy." He gestures to the group around him. "This is Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy." Something seems to occur to him. "We come from old wizarding families, pure-blood families. It's the only respectable type of wizard if you ask me. You are pure-blood, aren't you?"

"Yes," I answer quickly.

"Good, I would hope so, considering you're in Slytherin. Wouldn't want a filthy Mudblood ruining the House's good name, would we?" He says this so casually I can't help but want to agree with him,

"What's a Mudblood?" I ask.

The girl named Pansy giggles, but it's more of a condescending sound than friendly laughter. Draco answers, "A Mudblood is someone born to Muggles." He meets my eye. "You know what Muggles are, correct?" I nod and look away.

"How could she not know what a Mudblood is?" I hear Pansy mock me.

I can't help myself from saying, "Well, Pansy – I believe that's your name – I didn't know what a Mudblood is because I don't mingle with them at all. That kind of riffraff is not allowed into Durmstrang. I keep myself as closely connected to pure-bloods as possible, knowing a Mudblood will only ruin my reputation." Pansy flushes a deep red. Turning his head so Pansy can't see him, Draco smiles at me.

McGonagall walks through the room, followed by a large group of smaller students. These must be the first-years. She's carrying the hat that put me in Slytherin. I grimace at it. Why did it have to put me with this lot? McGonagall puts it on a stool. Astonishing me yet again, it begins singing a song. I don't register a single thing it says. I'm distracted by the sniggering coming from Draco and Crabbe (at least, I think it's Crabbe). Each young student goes through the Sorting. I don't cheer with the rest of the Slytherins when a child is put into our House. I can't help but feel sorry for them. They'll be stuck with these people for seven years.

When, at last, every student has been put into the respective Houses, there is the Feast. The food I've been eating over the past two weeks is nothing compared to what the house-elves have prepared for us this evening. I haven't had vegetables this good in years. The last time I had cooked vegetables was at the orphanage. Since I left, I've only ever had them raw. Cooked far outdoes those I found across the countryside. The dessert is my favorite part of the meal. And it's over far too quickly.

When the meal is finished, Dumbledore stands to make an announcement. As he welcomes the students to Hogwarts, Draco mouths everything Dumbledore says, as Dumbledore says it, much to the enjoyment of his friends around him. He locks eyes with me again and says, "He makes the same speech every year."

Dumbledore made a few more announcements, including a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher named Dolores Umbridge, to which Draco muttered, "Why don't they just give the position to Professor Snape already?" And with that comment, I shuddered. But not even Draco Malfoy could hide his look over surprise when Umbridge stood and interrupted Dumbledore.

No one paid any attention to what she said. Most of us just played around. Attention only went back to the front of the room when Dumbledore took the stand once again. Then we filed out and went back to our House common room.

It's not until we're in the Slytherin common room that Draco breaks away from his devoted followers and decides to talk to me again. He sits down beside me by the fire and strikes up a conversation. "So, what's Durmstrang like? I hear they proudly teach the Dark Arts there. Is that true?"

I don't know much about Durmstrang, so I just agree. "Yeah, they were big on the Dark Arts. Well, until Karkaroff went missing. I don't know what they teach now; I'm here."

Draco didn't comment are Karkaroff missing, which I couldn't be happier about: I know nothing about it farther than the fact that he is missing. "Well, I feel quite sorry for you, really," Draco replies. "Going from Durmstrang to Hogwarts. I don't think I would survive. The Dark Arts here are a joke. We only teach the defense of them. And you saw the git that's teaching us this year. I don't know why they don't just give the position to Professor Snape already." He pauses. "You said you know Professor Snape?"

I try hard not to laugh, but a smile comes against my will. "I know Professor Snape," I say. I think he wants me to tell him my disagreement with Snape, but I keep that to myself.

"When did you meet him? He's my favorite teacher here. The only one who's got any sense about him, if you ask me."

"I got here almost two weeks ago," I explain. "I met him after I was Sorted into Slytherin." That's not completely true, but I don't want to give details about my having been a prisoner in Malfoy Manor.

He looks up at me, but doesn't comment on what I've just said, but rather, "It's no secret that the Defense Against the Dark Arts position is the one Snape's been vying for ever since he became a teacher here, but Dumbledore refuses to let him have it."

"Why doesn't Dumbledore let him take it?" I ask innocently, though I'm pretty sure I know why. Dumbledore must know that Snape delves in the Dark Arts, and that he would probably teach the students that Dark Wizards are the only worthy wizards or some other kind of nonsense.

"Well, it's rumored that he wasn't always against You-Know-Who. Some people think that he worked for him. Dumbledore has let rumors cloud his judgment."

"So what does he teach?" This is actually something that I don't know about Snape.

"Potions," he says. "You'll like it. Snape is amazing."

"He seems like the kind that has a temper," I say as nonchalantly as I can.

"Only against Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws…so pretty much anyone who isn't worthy to be at Hogwarts, anyone who is not a Slytherin," it's this comment that lets me know that Slytherin think they're better than everyone.

"Are there many Mudbloods here?" I ask. "The way you were talking about them sounded as if you had a personal affiliation with one, whom you happen to hate."

He smirks. "I do. The Mudblood I was referring to was Hermione Granger. She hangs out with Potter – Harry Potter, yes the famous one – and Weasley. Weasley is just as bad as a Mudblood: he's a blood traitor, meaning his family befriends Muggles and Mudbloods. The whole lot of them is pathetic."

I know enough of the wizard world to know who Harry Potter is. Keeping my voice as neutral as possible, I ask, "Do…do you think Harry Potter will again be able to vanquish You-Know-Who?"

Draco snorts, "Not at all. It was luck last time, and I don't think he'll be able to muster up enough of that again to be able to stand a fight with You-Know-Who. That's how I know he hasn't returned. There's no way Potter met the Dark Lord last year and withstood a fight."

I nod, swallowing down the lump in my throat. Maybe Harry will be able to kill the Dark Lord. Maybe I won't have to have the child…

Then Pansy comes over to us and sits beside Draco, closer than I thought would be comfortable. "Speaking with the Durmstrang girl again, Draco?" she asks. There a distinct tone I her voice, but I'm unsure of what it is.

"Yes, Pansy," Draco says. "And I think you should get to know her. She's Slytherin. We're in this together."

Pansy scowls at me behind Draco's back. With that, I stand up, bid them both a good night, and go to the dormitory, trying to put Pansy far in the back of my mind.

**For real though, could you please leave a review? It's hard for me to continue writing when I don't know if I have readers...I don't want to waste my time**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, thanks for reading. There's a section that has asterisks (*) around it. This section was taken from _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_, page 232. All rights, of course, go to J.K. Rowling, the genius who made our childhood magical.**

**ceb521: Thanks for the review.**

**CHAPTER 6**

When I wake up the next morning, the feeling of dread consumes me. Classes start today. I look around the to the other four poster beds. Most of the girls in my year are already dressed and ready to go. I speed along, not wanting to be the last one out of the Slytherin Dungeons. Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy are all there. I grimace as I try to sneak around the group. "Charlotte," I hear Draco say. I look over. He motions for me to join his group of friends. I acquiesce and walk to them. "We're just about to go up to eat. Care to come with us?"

I nod. "Sure, yeah, thanks."

"I'm not sure how they do things at Durmstrang," I'm tempted to say that I don't either, but I hold it back, "but we'll get out schedules from Snape when we get up there."

As we make our way to the Great Hall, Draco and his friends chat excitedly – sometimes forlornly – about their classes. Apparently, classes with Gryffindor are their least favorite, mostly because the blood-traitor, the Mudblood, and Harry Potter are always in those classes. We take our seats, me farther away from Draco than the rest of the group thanks to Pansy. Owls swoop in, dropping letters. None come to me, not that I was expecting any.

Draco opens his. "My mother and father always want to know what professors return. They like to keep tabs on Dumbledore, you see. Want to make sure he's running things properly around here. They say he's the worst thing to ever happen to Hogwarts." I'm not the least bit surprised to hear that the Malfoys are against Dumbledore. It seems there are few things they actually agree with or can even tolerate.

Pansy opens a copy of the _Daily Prophet_, the most popular newspaper in the wizard world. "My parents agree. What kind of mad git would believe Potter about You-Know-Who returning? If you ask me, Potter killed Diggory and tried pinning it on the Dark Lord." I've read enough to the _Daily Prophet_ to know what she's talking about, so I don't have to make a fool of myself by asking.

"My father was just shocked Potter survived to the last round. He thought for sure he'd be killed in the first!" Draco announces.

Pansy releases an unnatural giggle. I ignore it and look to the table at the front where Snape and McGonagall are sitting. "So you don't think there's a chance at all of You-Know-Who returning?" I ask, looking back at them. I know full well that he has returned, but keep this to myself.

"You're not saying you believe him, are you?" Pansy sniggered.

"No, Pansy," I sigh, making sure they can all hear the exasperation in my voice, "I'm simply asking a question to see if you think it's possible. Listen to the whole question next time."

Draco smirks while Pansy's face reddens slightly. "Potter's always had a thing against my family," Draco tells me. "He even made us lose our house-elf. He's always trying to find ways to destroy my father's reputation."

"And our fathers'," Crabbe says, motioning to himself and Goyle. I don't think I've ever heard him speak.

"Potter says our fathers were Death Eaters, the followers of the Dark Lord," Malfoys fills in. "I think he wants others to know what it's like to not have a family."

I try to ignore the comment by turning around and looking for the Gryffindor table to see Harry Potter. So no one believes him? I can't help but feel a pang of sympathy. I know it's true; I know Voldemort has returned. I can't imagine what it must be like to have the entire wizard world convinced you're a liar. My eyes travel until I find Dumbledore's face. The great wizard's reputation has also suffered because he vouched for Harry.

"What are your parents like?" Pansy asks me.

My attention quickly snaps back to the Slytherin table. "My parents?" I repeat. "My parents…" I was going to say that they're dead when I realize that I have a whole second life now. "They don't care much about the _Daily Prophet_. They sent me here because Durmstrang's headmaster is missing."

I'm spared from elaborating by Snape, who makes his way down the table passing out schedules. He stops when he gets to us. Not even acknowledging me, he says to Draco and his friends, "Have a good holiday?"

"Yes, Professor," they answer.

Snape hands each of them a schedule. Then he hand me mine with a curt, "Rodgers," before he continues walking.

"What was that about?" Draco asks.

"Professor Snape and I had a disagreement one of my first days here," I answer carelessly.

"What'd you do?" Pansy asks acidly.

"Jumping to the conclusion that it's my fault? You know what they say about people who assume things, don't you?" I reply.

"I just meant…" But she doesn't complete the sentence before Draco cuts in. "What happened?"

"I might tell you…one day," I answer, then avert my eyes from him and look at my schedule. I don't know what – or where – any of the classes really are, so I can only hope that I'm in the same class as the one group of Slytherins I know, despite how much I am starting to dislike Pansy. They're the only way I'll be able to find my way around the castle.

The first class we have is Transfiguration, which I can honestly say I'm looking forward to. I don't ask Draco and his friends what they think about McGonagall. I hold her at a high esteem and don't want to have to worry about others chopping that down. I follow them to class and try to sit away from them, but Draco doesn't seem to like this idea. He directs Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy to the table I'm sitting at, and they take seats near me.

McGonagall goes to the front of the classroom. She spends the first fifteen minutes of class talking about how important O.W.L.s are our future careers. After what seems like a year-long rant about our future, McGonagall switches gears. "Today you will be learning the Vanishing Spell. It is one of the most difficult spells you will learn before N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration." McGonagall summons snails onto everyone's desks. "We will start small, using these snails." With a flick of her wand a quick, and an, "_E__vanesco_," the snail disappears. She summons another into its place. "Begin."

I know the spell, have even used it on a few occasions. It's typically what I do to rid caves of unwanted creatures; I have never had to use it that often because I tried to stay in houses, but desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose. I look down at my snail, knowing very well that I can make it vanish. I try a few times to do it without speaking. It doesn't work. I can feel McGonagall's eyes on me and try to ignore it.

"Ten minutes left!" she announces some time later. I catch her eye, and I get a disapproving shake of the head in return.

Sighing, I say very quietly, "_Evanesco_." The snail vanishes.

Draco stops completely. "How did you do that?" he whispers.

I shrug. "I have no idea."

"Do it to mine!" he commands with a smile.

I point my wand at his snail when the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat stops me. I look up. McGonagall is standing beside Draco. "See me after class, Rodgers," she commands.

"Yes, Professor," I reply. She walks off. Putting my wand back into my robes, I look back at Draco. "Maybe next time?"

He grins. "I'll save you a seat in Potions. It's in Snape's dungeon."

"See you then."

The bell rings, and all of the other Slytherins leave to go to Potions, carrying with them their angst of having Transfiguration homework. I walk to McGonagall's desk. "I wasn't really going to make his snail vanish, Professor," I tell her.

"Oh, I know that," she answers. "It took you long enough to make yours vanish. After what you showed me in my office, I have no doubt that you could have accomplished that much earlier."

I look down.

"I care about each individual student's success here at Hogwarts. I don't want to see you underachieving in my class again," her tone is strict and to the point, finalizing the discussion, but I can't let it end like that.

"Wouldn't that be counterproductive, seeing as I'm a transfer student from Durmstrang? I can't come in and show up the Hogwarts students…" I think I hid my disgust very well.

McGonagall seems to ponder this. "That would require a considerable more amount of work from you, Rodgers," she says, "and from what Professor Snape tells me, you've already asked not to do any."

I smirk. "Well, I can be a fast learner…just not too fast."

"Very well," McGonagall agrees. "Hurry to your next class. Professor Snape doesn't forgive tardiness easily."

I nod and walk swiftly to the door. Once I feel I'm out of earshot of McGonagall, I begin running. I don't need another reason to not get along with Snape. When I get to the room, the others are still talking and preparing for class. Draco waves me over, and I take a seat next to him at his table.

"Settle down," Snape says, closing the room door. He sweeps across the room and stands behind his desk. As McGonagall had done, he spends the first few minutes telling us about how important the O.W.L.s are and that he only accepts top scores into his N.E.W.T. Potions class. He talks about how most of us will be saying goodbye after this year, meaning he doesn't expect many of us to achieve his high standards. His voice tells me that he doesn't regret this at all, and his black eyes staring at Harry Potter tells me that he cannot wait to say goodbye to that particular student. Part of me wonders why.

*******"But we have another year to go before that happy moment of farewell," said Snape softly, "so whether you are intending to attempt N.E.W.T. or not, I advise all of you to concentrate your efforts upon maintaining the high-pass level I have come to expect from my O.W.L. students.

"Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation…"*******

I lose concentration as he warns of the dangers of the potion if it is too strong. With a flick of his wand, the instructions write themselves on the board and the cupboard full of supplies opens itself. "Start," he commands.

Draco assists me with getting the supplies, and we begin the very precise instructions. Everything has to be done just right, according the board. I catch Snape's eye once. He seems less than interested in the work of me and Draco and Draco's followers. He seems to be watching Harry closely. When class is reaching its end, Snape announces, "A light silver vapor should be rising from your cauldron."

Draco and I exchange worried looks. Both of our potions are releasing a light gray smoke. Snape walks to the back of the room. "I think it's close enough," I say to him.

"What's this, Potter?" Snape asks.

Draco's head snaps up, as does the rest of the Slytherins. "Watch this," the white-haired boy tells me.

I try to block out Snape's tormenting of Harry, but I don't miss the, "_Evanesco_," from Snape. He probably vanished Harry's potion to have a reason to give him a zero for the day. Snape then tells the rest of us to turn in a vial of our potion and to write twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion-making.

I turn in my vial and leave the dungeon with Draco, heading up to lunch. "Why does Snape hate Potter so much?" I ask him.

Draco laughs and says, "Who doesn't hate Potter?" We sit down at the Slytherin table. I turn to get a glimpse of Harry and see him boiling mad and talking to his friends – Ron and Hermione, I believe their names are. The two of them seem to be bickering, and suddenly, Harry shouts something at them and storms off, leaving them looking shocked.

"So what did McGonagall want from you anyway?" Draco asks me around his food.

"Wanted to know if I'd ever used the spell before," I lie, somewhat proud of myself for coming up with it so quickly.

He stops eating. "That's how you did it!" he laughs. "When did you learn it?"

I open my mouth to answer but stop. Now is my chance to make them all believe I am a Slytherin completely, "Well, at Durmstrang, there was this kid who practically worshiped Potter. She kept the clippings from newspaper articles. I think she might have been in love with him or something," for good measure, I shudder as if that's the most repulsive thought ever, "so I used the spell to vanish her shrine of him." I smile as Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle burst with laughter.

"So, what's your next class?" Draco asks when he finally calms down.

I look at the schedule given to me by Snape. "The Study of Ancient Runes. You?"

There is an almost inaudible groan that comes from Draco. "Divination," he growls, "at least _you_ get to escape the presence of Potter and Weasley. I'm stuck with them and Trelawney's psychotic rambling." I chuckle at what I assume is a joke, but I've only met Trelawney once, and she had seemed fairly nice – weird, but nice. "You should try to switch to Divination."

"With the Potter, Weasley, and the psycho?" I ask. "No, thank you."

Draco grins. "But you'll be with me." Pansy makes a noise that reminds me of sound of a calf dying. Draco quickly adds, "Besides, it's better than being with the Mudblood in Ancient Runes…"

I throw my head back. "Decisions, decisions…"

Pansy looks at the watch on her wrist. "We have to get going. We'll be late." As she stands up and walks off with Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco, she throws me a glare that would have frightened me had I not already had all fear taken out of me by Voldemort. I smile back at her, and they leave. A few minutes later, I get up from the table and head for the Study of Ancient Runes, asking anyone I pass for directions.

Hermione Granger, the Mudblood Draco so despises, is already in there with a few others. Not sure what I'm thinking, I sit next to her. "You're Hermione Granger, right?" I ask, trying to act curious. "Gryffindor?"

She looks at me strangely. "Yeah, who are you? I've never seen you in here before."

I offer my hand. "Charlotte Rodgers, Slytherin, transfer from Durmstrang," I reply.

She accepts my handshake. "Durmstrang? Did you come last year for the Triwizard Tournament?"

"I wish. I hear it was amazing. Harry Potter was in it, right?" She nods. "You're his friend. You were sitting with him in Potions. Who was the other boy with you?"

"He's Ron Weasley. We've all been friends since our first year." I'm not sure if she meant to, but she sounded a little protective…or defensive. I'm not sure exactly which. "Were you the one sitting with Malfoy?"

"Draco? Yeah, he's one of the only Slytherins I've met. Well, him and his group of disciples: Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy." She doesn't respond to this. I take a deep breath. "I know we just met, but could you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is…"

"Next time you see Harry Potter, which I assume will be soon, could you tell him that I believe him about You-Know-Who returning? I know I've never met Harry, but if I were in his shoes, I'd be happy to know someone believed me."

She slowly nods. "You sure you're a Slytherin?"

"Didn't want to be. It's was the Sorting Hat who did it…" I shake my head. "I think it might have made a mistake." But deep down, I know the Hat didn't make a mistake. Somehow I know that I was born to Slytherins, that the majority of my family – if not all of them – have been in Slytherin.

"I don't think anyone besides a family of Dark Wizards wants to be in Slytherin," Hermione laughs. "After meeting Draco for the first time, I knew Slytherin was not for me. And Snape…ugh, he's the worst Slytherin of them all!"

After just a moment of my silence, she quickly says, "You don't like Snape, do you?" I guess she assumes my not answering means I'm offended.

"Oh, not at all. I was thinking back to the first disagreement I had with Snape." She looks intrigued. I have a feeling she's about to ask me what my first disagreement with Snape was until the professor comes into the room. "Let's just say it's a story for another time."

She nods, obviously a little let down. I can only imagine that she had wanted to know something about Snape that she could have told Harry to make him feel better after what happened in Potions. I bring a piece of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink out of my bag and begin taking notes.

**Let me know what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**The part with Professor Umbridge is paraphrased, but credit goes to J.K. Rowling, the genius who made our childhood magical. I got it from Harry _Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_, the chapter entitled "Professor Umbridge"**

* * *

**raynereese: Thanks for the follow!**

**PjoHP: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**PadfootAndMe: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**^people like the three of you really help me:) Thanks again!**

* * *

**butterflyflyaway: Hi, thanks for all of the reviews! I would have gone through and added this to one of the earlier chapters, but I don't know where you left off, and I don't want you to miss my response. If you read this (and I hope you do because that means you're still reading the story), I've gotten you first six reviews. (1) I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I will most definitely continue writing it. (2) I wanted her to meet Dobby at least once because I loved Dobby. (3) I wanted to have Snape and Charlotte start on bad terms because that makes him being her protector that much more difficult (4) I wanted Snape to be her "protector" so they will both have someone who knows what it's like to face Voldemort. (5) Draco becomes a rather important part of the story! The Golden Trio is mentioned, but they're not really the focus. I wanted them to be in it but not be a huge part. Thanks again for reviewing! ****(6) I wanted there to be animosity between Pansy and Charlotte from the beginning. She did talk to Hermione, but what was it that you wanted her to talk about?**

**I'm currently on chapter 77, so I didn't want to wait till then to reply to your reviews because that would be a massive response, but I feel that when someone reviews they deserve an answer. Which is what I'm doing now :) Thanks for reading! Oh, and the wisdom teeth went fine. I just can't focus on writing much right now, so I won't be updating until Tuesday, but you'll be able to catch up faster that way lol.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

I leave Study of Ancient Runes with Hermione. She's not near as bad as Draco made her seem. Granted, she is a know-it-all, which is rather annoying, but I don't see how being a Mudblood is anything important. She's brilliant. When I see Draco, I say goodbye to her and walk with him toward Defense Against the Dark Arts. Luckily, Draco hadn't seen us talking, so I'm not bombarded with questions. "Do you think this Umbridge woman is as bad as they say?" I ask quietly. "I don't think I can handle anymore of that today."

He casts me a furtive glance. "Of course not," Draco says confidently, "she was once a Slytherin, therefore she can't be completely incompetent. Sure, she might never be as good as Professor Snape, but she can't be too bad. It's the Mudblood, isn't it? Did she tell you how bad Umbridge is? You know you can't believe a word she says."

I catch myself chewing my inner cheek as he says this. "Draco," I say quietly. He looks at me, wide-eyed and eager. "If-if I were a Mudblood, would you…would you hate me as much as you do Granger?"

Draco stops suddenly and grabs my arm. "You're not a Mudblood. You shouldn't even think those things!"

"Draco, I don't know my father, or my mother. I could easily be a Mudblood…"

His other hand grabs my free shoulder. He looks at me square in the face, "If you were a Mudblood, I would know. You're not one. Don't worry about it. I know plenty of pure-blooded wizards who were scared of having a Squib for a child so they left their families. That's probably what happened with your family as well. You mustn't worry." He smiles reassuringly at me.

I nod silently, and we walk to our Defense Against the Dark Arts class together. Umbridge, wearing a fluffy pink cardigan, is already behind the teacher's desk, looking over the desks with a wide, creepy grin. "Maybe this class will be worse than I thought…" Draco comments quietly to me.

I sit down beside Draco as the rest of the class files in. When we've all taken our seats, Umbridge stands and greets us like we five years old again, "Good afternoon!"

Hardly anybody replies. Umbridge then proceeds to rant to us about how when she says "Good afternoon!" we are supposed to reply with "Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge!" We are forced to go through this ritual before Umbridge officially begins class. One of the first things she says is that all of the other teachers before her who had taught the DADA class have put our year behind what the Ministry expects us to be at by this time. I lean over to Draco and quiet whisper, "How many teachers have you had in this class?"

"A new one every year," he answers in the same low whisper I used.

Umbridge continues, "Fortunately, this has been rectified. The Ministry-approved curriculum will teach you the three most important parts about the Defense Against the Dark Arts." She taps the board, and words write themselves for all of us to see.

I write them down.

_Course Aims:_

_Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic._

_Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used._

_Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

I look around. I am virtually the only person who does not find this weird. Even Draco looks confused. She begins to ask whether or not we have our Ministry-approved text book. The pale-faced boy beside me says under his breath, "This is much worse than I thought. My father will hear about this. This is worse than when the werewolf taught us!"

I freeze. "You had a werewolf teach you?"

"Third year," he answers.

"Turn to page five. Read chapter one. There is no need to talk," Umbridge's voice rings through the classroom.

After a few minutes of reading some of the worst text that I've ever had the displeasure of reading, Draco taps my arm. "Look over there." He's pointing at Hermione. Her book is not open; her hand is raised. The look on her face says she's been waiting for a while, possibly since Umbridge first told us to open the book. Hermione begins questioning Umbridge's course aims and whatnot. "This is about to get good," Draco informs me.

"There's nothing written about _using_ defensive spells."

"I can't imagine a time when you would need to use defensive spells in my class, Miss Granger.

"We're not going to be using magic?" I don't know who asked this, but whoever it was seems upset. Umbridge quickly reprimands him for talking out of turn.

"That was Weasley," Draco tells me, just as Umbridge asks what the offender's name was.

Umbridge and Hermione argue for a few more minutes, but I don't hear most of what they say. Draco is talking to me – maybe more to himself than me – about whether or not the "Mudblood" has a point or not. But when Umbridge says something about learning in a "risk-free way," Harry pipes up, automatically criticizing how the real world will never be risk-free.

A lot of students begin asking the same question, because Umbridge swiftly refused to answer Harry's hand after she told him to raise it. Then she starts criticizing some "half-breed" who once taught the class because he made it too dangerous. That's when Draco told me the half-breed was the werewolf, Professor Remus Lupin. Others argue that Lupin was one of the greatest teachers there has been for this class.

I don't know what gets my blood boiling more: the rude way Umbridge cuts everyone off, or the rude way she refuses to hear reason.

When Harry again pipes up about the real world, I block Draco out completely.

"This is school, Mr. Potter, not the real world."

"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out there?"

"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr. Potter."

"Oh yeah?" Sarcasm oozes from his words.

"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?"

"Hmm, let's think…maybe _Lord Voldemort_!"

With this, I tune it all out. There's no doubt that Voldemort would want to hurt young witches and wizards our age. I try to put myself in that place under the beech tree while Umbridge preaches to the students that Voldemort has not returned despite Harry refusing what she says. I can't seem to immerse myself far enough into my mind. I hear Harry yell something about a boy named Cedric Diggory "dropping dead of his own accord." Harry's voice betrays his strong front: it's shaky. Either he's at the point of heartbreak, or he's at the point of murder, or a mixture of both. After calling Umbridge a liar, he's sent from the room, probably to his House leader, McGonagall.

Without thinking, I grasp Draco's arm, trying to hold back the vomit I feel coming up. Thinking too much about Voldemort makes me want to puke, and this time it's hard for me to fight it back. Draco puts his hand over the top of mine. "Do you need me to take you to the hospital wing?"

I don't open my mouth, afraid that doing so will cause the contents of my stomach to flow out. I nod slightly. Draco slips his hand into the air. Umbridge seems reluctant to answer until she sees my face, which no doubt looks sickly. Draco slings both my bag and his bag over his shoulder and walks me out of the classroom. I feel my whole body generating heat. My skin feels clammy even to me. We pass the restroom, and I stop Draco. I run into the room where I regurgitate everything that was once in my stomach, along with what I register to be blood, and a lot of it.

Dizzy now, I go to the sink. My curly black hair is frizzy and sweaty. My eyes look sunken and unnatural, and though they are normally a shockingly deep blue, now they are dull. Instead of my cheeks being pale, red flushes over them. I stumble out of the restroom and almost knock Draco over. "Charlotte!" he almost shouts. He pulls my right arm around his shoulder and wraps his left arm around my waist. He's pretty much carrying me to the hospital wing.

"I'm so sorry, Draco," I whisper hoarsely.

"No matter," he says cheerily. "It got us out of class, right?" I nod weakly. "We're almost there."

I try to force down the puke that I feel coming. As soon as we step into the hospital wing, it comes out against my will. This time though, it's all blood, and I fall. I would have fallen into the puddle had Draco not caught me. Madam Pomfrey, the Matron nurse at Hogwarts as I soon learn, rushes over to help Draco half-drag, half-walk me over to a bed.

My eyes wander around the room. They land on Draco. I try to apologize again but can't speak. He slowly becomes more and more blurry until I finally lose all sight and pass out.

My eyes fly open. I'm drenched in a cold sweat. Looking around the room alerts me to the fact that I'm alone. The sun is setting. Torches flicker around the room. I'm still in the hospital wing. I sit up, and immediately regret it. Fire courses through me, forcing me back down with a loud groan of agony. Madam Pomfrey all but materializes in front of me with some kind of potion in her hand. "What happened?" I try to say, but as I do, I'm aware that I'm making no noise.

"Drink this." A sweet flavor touches my tongue and slides down my throat. Sleep instantly takes over me, shutting my brain down.

When I wake the next time, I'm surprised to hear not only Draco and Madam Pomfrey but Snape and Dumbledore as well. The two professors sound troubled. Keeping my eyes closed, I listen to their hushed voices. "Did you see who did it?" The voice is Snape's.

"No," a trembling voice I recognize to be Draco's answers. "She just grabbed my arm out of nowhere."

"Headmaster," Snape begins.

Dumbledore cuts him off. "You know what I think of your theory. We cannot throw the blame on anyone yet."

"They tried to kill her!" he says furiously. "And they would have accomplished it had they been more practiced!"

I feel a cold hand touch my arm. Daring to open my eye enough to investigate who is touching me, I see Draco. He looks as bad as I did yesterday, with sunken eyes and an unusually pale face. "Draco, go to class," Dumbledore commands. The boy obeys and leaves the room.

Once the door closes, Snape growls, "She's lucky to be alive."

"I understand your frustration, Severus," Dumbledore replies quietly.

"No, you don't!" Snape spits.

The two of them are silent for a few moments before Dumbledore tells Snape to get to the dungeons for Potions class. The only thing I know about the situation is that someone wants me dead. I can't think of anyone who knows me well enough to hate me so much they want to kill me. I crack open me eyes. "I was wondering when curiosity would force you to open your eyes," the headmaster says to me.

"What happened?" my voice is working once more, but only just.

"You were hit with a weak – very weak, mind you – Entrail-Expelling Curse. It's uncertain whether the attack was meant for you or if it was a slip of the tongue." I open my mouth to ask a question, but either Dumbledore doesn't notice or he ignores me because he goes on, "It has happened in the past that a curse is used without the caster knowing what they're doing. If someone did mean it for you, they are probably untrained practitioners of the Dark Arts." He looks at me over the top of his half-moon spectacles, "I, for one, doubt there is any such witch or wizard here; nevertheless, we will find out what happened and set it right again."

"How…what…" I can't form the question I want to. Dumbledore waits. "What did the curse do to me exactly?" I finally force out.

"It tore at your stomach and intestines," – that explains the pain – "which is why I don't believe it was done purposely. Had someone indeed meant to cast it at you, you would not have survived."

I nod slowly. "So…I'll be okay?"

"Oh, yes," he says, "Madam Pomfrey healed you quite easily. She's a master of healing, that woman. But you will need to drink this." He hands me a goblet. "It's a Blood-Replenishing Potion. You lost quite a lot." I put the potion to my lips, and it fills my mouth with a warm, metallic sensation. When swallowed, it feels like velvet running down my throat.

"Professor Dumbledore," Madam Pomfrey says, "you must leave now. Miss Rodgers needs to rest." I don't quite understand this because I've been unconscious what seems like a while. So why do I need "more rest?" I don't voice these of course; I just smile at Dumbledore as he leaves the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey looks at me and commands in a soft but firm voice, "Finish the potion." I start drinking it down, the velvet feeling quite welcome but making me realize more than ever just how dry my throat is. "It's a good thing Professor Snape was willing to make some more of the Blood-Replenishing Potion. I don't think we would have had enough." Her voice is casual, but it immediately makes me want to puke up all of the potion I just drank. If Snape made it, then I don't trust it. But it's too late now.

I hand the empty goblet back and in return receive a cup of clear liquid that I assume is water until I taste its sweetness. It's the same stuff I had earlier, which means I am about to be taken into another sleep. Sure enough, I can't keep my eyes open, and I'm pulled into a slumber once more.

The next time I wake up, Madam Pomfrey is sitting in a chair beside my bed. Through the window I can see the sun high in the sky. Whether it's the same day as before or if I've been asleep for more than twelve hours, I don't know. So I ask in a weak voice, "What day is it?"

The Matron of the hospital wing smiles at me. "It's Wednesday. I gave you enough of the Dreamless Sleep Potion so your body could rest and the Blood-Replenishing Potion could run its course with no resistance."

"Oh," I say quietly. My first week of classes and I've already missed the entire second day.

"How're you feeling?" she asks.

"A little sore, but fine other than that," I answer. I'm not lying, but that's not the full truth. I feel sick to my stomach at the fact that I drank a potion made by Snape, yet I don't think that's worth mentioning.

She smiles at me. "Well, if you take it easy, you are free to go," she tells me. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. "A Mr. Draco Malfoy came by not too long ago to check on you. You were asleep, so I thought there no point for him to wait around. He's in the Great Hall."

"Thank you," I stand up and walk slowly from the hospital wing.

* * *

**As always, let me know what you think. Reviews are highly highly highly appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it took longer than usual. Finals are coming up, and I've been spending a lot of my time studying. **

**FonzFan: Thanks for your follow**

**ceb521: Thanks for the review. It's fine. I'm not going to ask you to review on every chapter. I really like that you've reviewed at least once:) **

**CHAPTER 8**

Very slowly, I walk into the Great Hall, struggling not to wince with each step. Draco and his followers are still at the Slytherin table. As I make my way over there, I watch the blond-haired boy, who seems to be eating extra slow while Pansy chatters away excitedly. He looks up and catches my eye, looks back to Pansy, then does a double-take. Without a second glance at Pansy, he stands up abruptly and comes toward me, only to stop in front of me. "Hi," he says quietly.

"Hi," I answer.

Before giving me any sort of warning, he pulls me into a swift hug and releases me just as quickly. He clears his throat, and I ignore the pink that covers his cheeks. "Would you like something to eat?" he asks me. I nod, and he leads me to the table, where he sits down beside me instead of Pansy. She, in turn, storms out of the room while giving me a deathly glare.

"What'd I miss yesterday?" I ask. I take a swig of my pumpkin juice.

"Herbology – no regrets there – with Ravenclaw and Sprout," he answers. "Transfiguration with Gryffindor – we have a double class of it with them on Tuesday. Care of Magical Creatures with Gryffindor; at least that brainless oaf Hagrid is not teaching this term. One can only hope he won't be back again. And History of Magic with Binns."

"The second day of classes, and I've already missed a whole day…" I push my plate away. I can't eat much; it hurts too badly.

"Don't feel too bad," he tries to comfort me, "You'll be fine in Transfiguration; we're still on the Vanishing Spell. Herbology is probably not a class you'll take after this year; the same goes for Care of Magical Creatures. Both of those classes are jokes, really. And don't get me started on History of Magic – who lets a ghost teach a class?" He snorts and answers his own question, "The same git who let a werewolf teach the Defense Against the Dark Arts."

I ignore this and instead say, "What's left today?"

"Charms with Flitwick, Care of Magical Creatures – looks like you didn't get out of that after all," he says, "oh, and Astronomy later. We've already had Divination – or Arithmancy, I think, since you don't take Divination – and Herbology." He pulls a pocket watch from his robes. "Are you done eating? We're going to be late for Charms." I nod, and we leave the Great Hall and go to class.

"Pansy doesn't like me much, does she?" I say suddenly, so suddenly that I don't even know where it came from. It's not like it even matters, because I don't care too much for her either.

"I don't know," Draco answers. "There's a lot that Pansy doesn't like."

"Oh," is all I can say, biting back the temptation to say the same about him and his parents when it comes to Hogwarts.

When we get to class, Flitwick, much like his colleagues, spends the first bit of class pounding into our brains the importance of O.W.L.s. I don't say anything, but it's really beginning to get annoying to hear the same spiel every day. The class is spent on reviewing Summoning Charms, which I've never really had too much practice with. But I've done it a few times nonetheless. Throughout most of the class I just talk to Draco about the other classes and his problems with the professors.

He tells me that the man who usually teaches Care of Magical Creatures, a half-giant named Hagrid, is currently trying to find a way to convince giants to join Dumbledore's side of the war. We are sitting alone in the back – we had, in fact, gotten to class late thanks to the pain it caused me to walk fast. Draco apparently feels more open about things when his friends aren't around. He confides in me that Voldemort has returned, which is nothing I don't know, but I don't tell him that. I act just as shocked as anyone else would. I act as if I'm just as terrified as anyone else would be, even though I'm probably more terrified than them considering my duty to him.

After Charms, we have Care of Magical Creatures, which is pretty boring and uneventful. Pansy hasn't spoken to Draco or me since we had lunch. Crabbe and Goyle are just as thick as usual.

Dinner in the Great Hall is when more exciting news picks up. Everyone is still talking about the fight between Umbridge and Harry even though it happened two days ago. Draco seems frustrated that everyone wants to talk about Harry and makes it a point not to enter any conversation about the Potter boy.

After dinner, we start to make our way back to the Slytherin Dungeons. Draco and I take a seat next to the fire and start on all of the homework that has been assigned to us. I grimace as we begin. I still don't get why I have to do this. We finish the history essay (after Draco informs me that we have one due), but before we – well, mostly Draco – can begin practice on the Vanishing Spell, Snape enters the common room. No one seems to take much notice. He must come looking for students sometimes. But what I don't expect is when he gets close enough for me to hear him without him having to shout, "Rodgers."

"Yes, professor?" I say, not looking up from my homework.

"Come with me." I glance up. He is staring intently at me. I put my quill down and roll my parchment up. Draco stands as if to come with me, but Snape stops him, "I don't believe I asked for you, Mr. Malfoy." Draco gives me a sympathetic smile as I turn and follow Snape from the Slytherin common room, staying a few paces behind him.

I enter Snape's office for the first time. Despite having searched for him before the school year started, I never found his office. Seeing the inside for the first time, I'm glad I never found it. Now I'm trapped in here. At least others will be able to hear me screaming if he tries to hurt me. He motions me to the seat in front of his desk; I oblige. His office is dark and dreary. Though it is dimly lit, I can see the walls lined with shelves that house what I can only hope are potion ingredients, most of which look revolting.

Snape sits down across from me. "Tell me," he begins in a commanding voice, "does anyone here besides you, Professor Dumbledore, and myself know about your duty to the Dark Lord?"

"No," I answer, keeping my voice as neutral as possible.

"No, _sir_, Rodgers," he reprimands me immediately with a cold tone.

"No, _sir_, Professor Snape," I say in his tone.

He scowls at me. "Are you sure no one else knows? I see you are becoming close to Draco. Have you told him?"

"No, _sir_, Professor Snape," I reply curtly, "I haven't."

He scowls again. "You're lying to me. Someone knows."

"What makes you think _I_ told them?" I snarl at him. "Who says it wasn't you? Or Dumbledore?"

"Keep your voice down," he commands. Then he waves his wand at the door. I assume this is to keep it silent for those who might walk by. There goes my one protection from Snape. No one will hear me if he decides to return my Stunning favor…

Pushing down my rising anger and fear, I ask, "Why do you think someone knows?"

"Because otherwise they wouldn't have tried to kill you," he says this like it's the most casual thing in the world.

"Dumbledore said –"

"_Professor_ Dumbledore," he corrects.

"He said that it was an accident."

"The headmaster likes to see the best in people. I believe someone failed while trying to rid the world of you." His black eyes bear into me. "Who did you tell?"

I hop out of my chair and slam my hand onto his desk. "Like I've already told you, _professor_," I growl so as not to shout, "I haven't told anyone. Not. One. Single. Soul." I turn and go to the door. "If you'll excuse me, I have a potions essay to write for my git of a professor." I yank at the door, but it doesn't open. I yank again. "Let me out."

"Not yet," Snape answers, "we're not done discussing this issue."

I spin on my heel to look at him. "What issue? I've already told you that I haven't told anyone!" I clench my teeth and add, strictly for good measure, "And if I decide to tell someone, I think I would have the right! After all, it is my life he's turning to hell! Not yours! Not theirs!" Anger boils inside of me, and I can't restrain it. "NOT DUMBLEDORE'S! NOT HIS! MINE! IT'S MY LIFE HE'S GOING TO RUIN!"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE REPERCUSSIONS OF YOUR ACTIONS!" Snape shouts back at me. "I COULD LOSE MY LIFE BECAUSE OF YOUR INABILITY TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" He closes his eyes for a second. Upon opening them, he seems calmer. "The Dark Lord requires your safety. There are bigger things happening than just you."

I feel the fury rising once again. "Like you, Snape?" I snap. "Is that what's more important than my life? Your life? Because I disagree! I don't think you are any more important than me!"

Snape sits up in his chair. "I am. I have always been one of the most important of the Dark Lord's followers. He can find another young witch to bear his child. He cannot find another to fill my position with Dumbledore. Albus trusts me completely. You are dispensable. I am not."

I take my wand out and shove it against his throat. Snape doesn't even flinch. "Your mission for Voldemort might be more important, but I assure you that your life is not! My soul is not tainted by blood of innocent people, Snape! Yours is! You are no better than Voldemort! Except Voldemort isn't a COWARD! He risks himself for his cause, despite how disgusting his cause is! You sit in Dumbledore's lap like a dog and call yourself important!" I ignore the shaking of my wand and continue, "I am terrified beyond belief about my duty to Voldemort, but I have accepted that I have no escape! But it seems to me – and some of the other Death Eaters, mind you – that you keep looking for any sign of escape!

"You call yourself indispensable to Voldemort, yet you sit here cowering behind Dumbledore, cowering away from Voldemort because you fear for your life! You act like you nobly care about what happens to me, but you only try to protect me because Voldemort will kill you if I wind up dead! You're a coward!"

Snape is on his feet before I can stop him; his wand is drawn. "_Expelliarmus_!" My wand flies into the air and is caught by Snape. "Do NOT call me a coward," he snarls. "I do more than you can ever imagine. I risk myself more than you think."

"Give me my wand," I say coldly.

"Who have you told? Someone wants you dead, and that's the only reasonable explanation as to why," he answers. He lowers his wand. "Do you think Potter knows?"

I pause, taken aback. "Potter? I've known him all of three days. I've never even spoken to him! Why do you think –"

"No reason," he cuts me off. "But you must have told someone! Someone must have found out! Do you talk in your sleep?"

"I don't know!" My hands fly to into my hair, a habit I do when I'm stressed that I have never been able to break myself of. "I-I don't think so. I can't…I can't be sure…"

"Telling someone in your sleep is no better than telling them while awake! Both ways risk the mission! You have no right to share, no matter how it is done!"

I take a deep breath and say quietly, ignoring the stinging in my eyes, the burning in my throat, and the cracking in my voice, "I have the right to lean on someone when I need help, when I can't walk down this road any longer, when I can't take even the thought of Voldemort without wanting to die, when –"

"Okay," he says quietly. "I believe you. You haven't told anyone."

Slowly, I sit down in the chair across from Snape. Tears flow freely down my cheeks, but I keep my sobbing silent. "I…I can't…I can't do this alone." I take a deep breath to calm myself. "So…when the time comes…and I can't go on…and I need a rock to lean on…I _will_ tell someone. It might be Draco; it might not. I don't know."

Snape shifts uncomfortably before placing my wand on his desk. I tentatively pick it up and slowly stand to my feet. "Rodgers," Snape says.

"Yes, professor?" I answer.

Snape makes it a point not to look me in the eye. "I already know about your duty to the Dark Lord," he begins, "so if you find yourself in need of someone to talk to, it would be a better idea to come to someone who already knows rather than blowing your cover, would it not?"

I look away from him. "No offense, Professor Snape, but I don't think it's best for me to go to someone with whom my relationship is built on hate." I clear my throat awkwardly. "But thank you." Again, I go for the door.

"Then Professor Dumbledore, perhaps? He knows as well…so that wouldn't ruin your cover," Snape suggests.

I keep my back to him. "I don't think Dumbledore is the best person to go to."

"He's a good man, and a good wizard. I really must insist that you go to him," Snape tries again.

"I don't think going to the headmaster over my woes of Voldemort and childbearing is the best idea," I counter. I put my hand on the door, half expecting it to be locked by charms again, but Snape has removed them, and I leave his office.

I all but run back to the Slytherin common room. I take my seat by Draco, who looks expectantly at me. When I don't say anything, he finally asks, "Well…what was that about?"

Quickly, I think of an answer, "He wanted to know if the potions he brewed for the hospital wing while I was in there worked or not."

"Professor Snape wanted to know if his potions worked?" Draco asks incredulously.

"Weird, right?" I reach for my parchment and quill but find that they are not there. "Where did my things go?"

"I packed them for you. Astronomy is tonight, remember? We need to get going, or we'll be late."

Smiling at him, I reply, "I wasn't really planning on going."

He smirks back at me. "What a wonderful idea. I like the way you think." He sets his bag, which had previously been on his shoulder, back onto the table. "Any ideas of where we should go for the time being?"

"Not a clue," I answer. "I don't know much of Hogwarts to be honest."

He stands and offers me his hand to help me up. "I know the perfect place."

I accept his hand, and he pulls me to my feet. "Lead the way," I say.

Instead of releasing my hand as I had expected him to do once I was on my feet, he laces his fingers through mine then looks at me as if waiting for me to pull away. When I don't, he smiles at me and leads me to the door of the Slytherin Dungeon. We completely ignore the looks of the younger Slytherins around us. I can't help but glance at Snape's office door as I walk hand-in-hand with Draco from the dungeons. The bitter professor would probably assume that I'll go babbling away to Draco. We walk in silence as the pale boy leads me somewhere to which I have more than likely never been.

**What did you think? Let me know!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm trying to get some more chapters posted to make up for my like four day wait.**

* * *

**xxSiriusxxforeverxx: Thanks so much for your review! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

By the time we've reached the fourth floor of Hogwarts, my nosiness is killing me. I desperately want to know where he's taking me. There have already been a countless amount of times that I've had to restrain myself from blurting out my question. And Draco is not helping. He keeps saying things like "you're going to love it" or "you'll never believe where we're going" or "my father told me about it."

I give his hand a slight squeeze. "Come on, Draco," I try, "just tell me where we're going."

"You've never heard of it anyway," he counters. "Even if I'll tell you, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about."

I frown at him and take a step closer to him, closing the small gap that had been between us. "How much farther?" I whisper.

"Not far now," he whispers back.

"Why are we whispering?" I question, but keep my voice in a whisper.

"I don't know," he continues to whisper, "I was just following your lead."

I ask him normally, "So, am I going to enjoy this mystery place?"

His voice is still a whisper when he answers, "Yes. Why aren't we whispering anymore? You should really make up your mind." I have no answer. Just a moment later we ascend the steps to the seventh floor. "Closer than ever now." He has finally stopped talking in a hushed tone.

We stop in front of a stone wall. "What is this?" I ask. "There's nothing here…"

"Give me a moment," he says in answer. A few seconds later, a large door appears in the wall. "This is the Room of Requirement."

"And what do you require at the moment?" I ask him.

He flashes his white teeth at me. "A place to spend time with a pretty girl…" he begins frantically looking up and down the corridor. "I wonder when she's going to get here…" I nudge against him, laughing. "Shall we?"

"We shall," I answer.

The room is completely empty with the exception of a door on the wall straight ahead. Draco leads me to it. I had expected to find _something_ in the room other than another door, but I don't say anything. Draco doesn't seem the least bit upset about the contents of the room. Quite the opposite actually: he seems excited. He opens the door, which reveals a large tunnel. "Just wait," he says, answering my unspoken question. He tightens his grip on my hand. Torches light the way. We enter.

After a walk that is not too short but also not too long, we see the backside of an exit. "We're here," Draco says, anticipation oozing from his voice. He slowly pushes open what looks almost like a door, but it obviously isn't. We enter a pub. Draco closes our entrance, which I now see is a painting. Roughly three people are there, but none of them even give us a glance. Draco leads me to a table, and we sit.

"We've got nearly an hour," he informs me after looking at his pocket watch. He waves the bartender over. "Two butterbeers."

"How did you know the Room of Requirement connected to this place…what is this place?" I ask.

"I didn't know, exactly. I just desperately wanted to get out of the castle so we wouldn't be under the scrutiny of professors and students," he answers. "And this is the Hog's Head. It's a pub in Hogsmeade, not the most popular but definitely the most private. I would have taken you to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, but that's too crowded. Besides, I prefer getting butterbeer here as opposed to there." The bartender places two glasses on our table. "There's also another pub, but I prefer this one."

We both take a sip of our drinks.

"So, what did Professor Snape really want to talk to you about?" Draco asks. At my choking on the butterbeer, he adds, "Yes, I knew it was a lie but didn't want to push you for answers in the common room."

"Well," I say, choosing my words very carefully, "he…he told me that they found Karkaroff," which is a complete lie, but I have a feeling Voldemort will kill him soon anyway, so it won't be a lie for too long, "He was dead."

Draco reaches across the table and takes my hand comfortingly. "I never asked you…were you close to him? I know during the Triwizard Tournament he really only seemed to care about Krum."

"No, not really," I answer, which is only half of a lie. I'm not, nor have I ever been, close to Karkaroff. Not because he only cared about Krum but because I never knew him. Draco pulls his hand back. "So what exactly did your father say about the Room of Requirement?"

"Just that he stumbled across it while he attended Hogwarts," Draco answers. "They used to hide things in there."

"You father attended Hogwarts?" With all of the complaints about the place, I would have assumed Draco's parents had had nothing to do with Hogwarts until Draco had to attend.

"Oh, yes, both of my parents went to Hogwarts. Both were Slytherins. That's how they met, actually. My father was a prefect."

"You're one too, right?"

"Yes," pride floods his voice. "My parents were thrilled. But it was no surprise. Snape has always been close to my family. He came to Hogwarts when my father was a prefect, so my father kind of took Snape under his wing, you know? He helped steer him in the right direction." I don't say anything, but Draco has all but admitted that his father is a Death Eater. I can't help but wonder if Draco has pieced together the fact that Snape is one too. "So what do you know about your parents?"

"Well, somehow I have this feeling that they were Slytherins, like us. I don't know what happened to my father, but I know that my mother died in Azkaban. I don't know what for…" I drift off. "I grew up in an orphanage after my great-uncle deposited my there because he felt that he couldn't handle raising me. I escaped when I found out I was a witch. Taught myself magic." I don't mention how his father hunted me down and captured me.

We both finish our butterbeers and push them aside. "Well," he says, "I would take you shopping through Hogsmeade, but I'm afraid we're low on time."

"That's fine," I say cheerily. "I've enjoyed just being out of the castle."

"I can always get you something during the next Hogsmeade weekend," he suggests. "All those third year and above are allowed to come to Hogsmeade on certain weekends."

"Sounds like a plan," I agree.

Draco places the payment for our drinks on the table and stands, again offering me his hand. I take it gladly, and we walk back to the painting. Still, no one seems to notice us. The bartender had gone to the back, and the rest of the people in the pub are fully engrossed in their drinks, making it easy to slip back into the torch-lit tunnel.

"I'm glad you had the idea to skip Astronomy," he says quietly.

"And I'm glad you thought to go to the Hog's Head," I reply. "And just think, we could have been trapped in the Astronomy Tower rather than in this cozy tunnel!"

Draco laughs quietly. He stops at the door leading back into the Room of Requirement. Turning to me, he says, "I had a really nice time."

"Me too," I tell him.

His free hand reaches up and caresses my cheek. His eyes drift to my lips. I can't stop my heartbeat from speeding up. Looking back into my eyes, he halfway bites his lower lip, then looks back to mine. Slowly, he leans down. I find myself stretching forward to meet him. Our lips meet shyly. He pulls back and smiles at me. A smile breaks its way across my face as well. He bends back down, this time not being as shy when kisses me.

His fingers wrap their way into my hair. I put my hand on the back of his neck, trying to refuse him from pulling away again. He pushes me against the wall and slides one hand to my lower back, pulling me closer to him. We stay like this for what could have been a day or a year, but all too soon, we break apart. He takes my hand, and we enter the Room of Requirement, only to leave as soon as we had entered. We make it back to the Slytherin Dungeon before most of our Astronomy class gets back, so there aren't many people in the common room when we enter. Draco pulls me into a warm embrace. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he wraps his arms around my waist. I bury my head into the crook of his neck. "Goodnight," he whispers in my ear.

"Goodnight," I reply. He releases me, and we go our separate ways, Draco to the fifth year boys' dormitory and me to the fifth year girls' dormitory.

I briskly change into pajamas and pull the covers over me and close the curtains around my four-poster bed, blocking myself from the others when they return. I shut my eyes, wondering how Draco could possibly be the son of Lucius Malfoy.

* * *

The next morning flies by, and before I know it, I'm sitting in the Great Hall next to Draco, our hands locked together under the table. Pansy's eyes continuously flutter to us. "Where were you during Astronomy last night?" Her bitterness is seeping out in her voice.

I look surprised as say to Draco, "You weren't in class last night?"

His face drops. I should have given him some kind of warning, but it slipped my mind. "No…I…er…I skipped. I was with Professor Snape. There was some…er…things I needed to talk to him about."

Pansy frowns at him. "You're lying." Then she looks at me with piercing eyes. "Where were you?"

"Hospital wing," I answer smoothly, having already been prepared for Pansy's interrogation. "Madam Pomfrey wanted to check on me, make sure I'm okay. I was in there all day on Tuesday, you know."

Her eyes dart back to Draco. "Are you sure that that's not where you were, Draco?"

"Positive," he answers quickly. Pansy doesn't seem satisfied. She gets up and storms form the Great Hall, presumably going to class. Our only classes today are Potions, Arithmancy – well, Draco and the rest of his friends have Divination – and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and they're with Gryffindor. But Potions doesn't start for nearly half an hour. "So anyway," Draco says, turning to me, "after lunch there's going to be Quidditch tryouts. You should come by."

"I might just do that," I reply. "What position are you?" I know about Quidditch; I've kept up with some of the teams since I escaped the orphanage.

"Seeker," he says proudly. "Crabbe and Goyle are going to try to be Beaters."

Crabbe and Goyle cheer like they know they already have the position. "Did you hear the news?" Goyle asks.

"What news?" I ask them. They don't talk much, so I figure I should let them talk when they try.

Crabbe hands Draco a copy of the _Daily Prophet_. Draco releases my hand and opens it up. "Professor Umbridge is the new Hogwarts High Inquisitor," Crabbe says.

I lean over Draco's shoulder to read the paper. This can't be true. She's an awful person. Who would let her be High Inquisitor of anything?

Draco answers my question without knowing he's answering my question, "It seems the Ministry as finally realized that some of the things here at Hogwarts are out of place. Now we'll finally see the reforms my father has been begging for." He smirks. "Someone can finally put Dumbledore in his place."

Shortly after this comment, we head back to the dungeons for Snape's class. Draco and I are again holding hands, and I silently hope Snape sees. I could use a good laugh, and I'm sure seeing Draco and me together will make him nervous, in which case he'll act weird. No one will know what's wrong, but I will. He'll be afraid I've told Draco about Voldemort's plan. He'll be afraid Voldemort will punish him.

Sure enough, when we walk into Snape's classroom, his eyes land on my hand, which is still in Draco's. I smirk at Snape, and he clenches his teeth together. I can see a well-controlled panic in eyes, but it fades moments after. Draco and I take our seats in the front.

Snape circulates through the room, handing back our essays. "These are graded the way that they would be on your O.W.L.s. It should give you a realistic idea of what to expect on your official examination."

I look down at my essay. There is a large letter _A_ on it. "What does this mean?" I ask Draco quietly.

"Acceptable," he replies.

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah," he smirks at me, "almost as good as this!" He shows me his essay. There is a large letter _E_ on it. "It means 'Exceeds Expectations.' One notch above _A_," he winks at me.

"I hate you," I hiss sarcastically. Snape looks over at us, clearly telling us to stop talking, and moves to the front of the room.

"The general standard of this homework was abysmal," Snape sneers. "I expect much better on your essays over the various varieties of venom antidotes, or I shall have to start handing out detentions to the dunces who get _D_'s."

Draco sniggers in a whisper loud enough for all to hear, "Some people got _D_'s? Ha!" Snape smirks at the remark. Class goes by rather quickly, and Draco and I turn in our vial of potion for the day's grade. As we place them on Snape's desk, Snape gives me a quick but evil glare that I gladly return with a smile. We leave his room.

"I guess I'll see you for lunch," Draco says. "You have Arithmancy, right?"

"Yeah, I'll see you later," I reply. I give Draco a hug, and we part our ways.

I walk over to Hermione in the Arithmancy room. "Hi," I say to her. "What did I miss Tuesday?"

She looks over at me with an odd look. "The importance of O.W.L.s," she says. "You have this class, too?"

"Yeah, I refuse to take Divination."

"Where were you Tuesday?" I sit down at a table with her.

"Oh," I say. "I was in the hospital wing. I went there right after Harry was sent away by Umbridge."

"What happened? I saw Malfoy escort you out."

"Long story short, my insides were ripped by a stray curse." I can't help but smile at her reaction; her mouth gapes open. "It's not as bad as it sounds."

"It sounds pretty awful," she admits. "You're fine now?"

"Completely."

Hermione taps her quill on the desk. I can tell she wants to ask me something, but I don't offer any information. Suddenly, she blurts, "What happened between you and Snape?"

"What do you mean? Nothing happened," I reply.

"I've never seen him hate a Slytherin, but I can tell he doesn't like you. I saw his face when you walked in the Potions room today and when you turned in your work. Harry and Ron saw it too. They're pestering me to find out what happened…So…if you wouldn't mind…I'd love to know."

I can't say no. I've been dying to tell someone. And I kind of think Hermione deserves to know. Harry has been through a lot, and it would do him some good to have a nice anecdote about Snape. "You can only tell Harry and Ron," I tell her before I begin my story. "I could get in some serious trouble if this spread. Got it?"

"Of course," she agrees. It's obvious that she's ecstatic.

I recount my fight with Snape, from my destroying the Slytherin common room to Snape finding me doing just that to me Stunning him to McGonagall saving me from his wrath. Hermione listens intently, even laughing quite loudly at some points. When I finish, all she says is, "That explains so much."

"Doesn't it? I don't think I'd be here now if McGonagall hadn't arrived and saved me," I laugh.

We spend the next few minutes discussing Umbridge. It seems we both hate her, which she finds surprising because most of the Slytherins are okay with the High Inquisitor. We silence when the professor comes in and begin taking notes.

**So Draco finally kisses Charlotte:)**

**What'd you think? Let me know!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi! Disclaimer: I, of course, only own Charlotte.**

* * *

**Thanks so much to those who reviewed!**

**Dolceconbrio: How would it be dangerous for Draco to get involved with Charlotte? I mean, I kinda think I understand what you're getting at, but I want to be sure lol. I might have them become friends...maybe. Only time will tell**

**xxSiriusxxforeverxx: I'm trying to keep him as close to J.K. Rowling's portrayal of him when it comes to everybody but Slytherin. I'll try to show some better qualities in him when he's around Charlotte. Her stand will become clearer. I promise.**

**ceb521: I'll try to make her stand clearer.**

**CHAPTER 10**

Quidditch tryouts that afternoon were relatively boring. I watched Draco and the rest of the seasoned Slytherin Quidditch players drill the new trainees. Crabbe and Goyle got the position of Beaters. The most interesting thing that happened was when the team went into the changing room just before Defense Against the Dark Arts class. When they had disappeared, the Weasley twins came out from their hiding spot. They said their names were Fred and George. I didn't really know what to think about them. They talked to me about Umbridge, the Slytherin Quidditch team (until they found out I was a Slytherin), and how they hate Snape (they thought this would offend me since most Slytherins love him; I didn't negate this thought; I just let them talk on). I had to tell them the lie of who I am, but I didn't care. I was just relieved when they left.

I haven't told Draco about their spying. I figure it doesn't matter. It's only Quidditch.

Now we're in class with Umbridge, who is just as bad today as she was the other day. Within minutes, Harry has received another detention, much to Draco's happiness.

The weekend creeps by. Draco and I spend most of our time down by the Black Lake, talking about virtually nothing, at least…nothing really important.

Rumor has it that Umbridge is going to be inspecting the professors while they teach. This only upsets me because that means Umbridge is going to be in more than just the Defense Against the Dark Arts class, and it's difficult enough for me to put up with her in just the one class. I don't think I can take seeing her anymore than necessary.

McGonagall's class is the best to be in while Umbridge is there because the witty professor puts the High Inquisitor in her place. The best part is that Umbridge is too thick to be able to say anything in return. She typically just goes back to marking up her inspection.

We've upgraded to rats in our Transfiguration class, which is not big deal for me. Rats dwell in caves more often than not, so I'm used to vanishing them. The largest creature I've ever vanished was a dog. It attacked me in one of the caves I invaded. I'm pretty sure it was rabid. Vanishing it was my only option. I don't show off these skills in class. I keep it simple and lazy, doing just enough that I don't have to do homework. Hermione is the top of the class.

Care of Magical Creatures is relatively useless to me. I couldn't care less about it. The professor is odd. Nobody really likes the class, especially not Slytherin, who find themselves to be above most of the subjects taught at Hogwarts. Harry, Ron, and Hermione openly hate Draco, and in return he openly hates them. I remain neutral during the arguments. I'm trying to stay on cordial notes with Hermione, who is best friends with Ron and Harry. During the inspection of this particular class, Umbridge asks if there have been any injuries sustained during Hagrid's teaching. Draco smirks at me, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy before saying, "That was me. I was slashed by a hippogriff."

"A hippogriff?" Umbridge asks in her oddly sweet voice.

"Only because he was too stupid to listen to what Hagrid told him to do," Harry says angrily.

Ron and Hermione both groan loudly as Umbridge gives Harry another detention. I can't help but feel pity for him. It's obvious that he's friends with Hagrid, which is why he spoke up in the man's defense. Draco only smirks at the fact that the famous Potter got yet another detention, and because of him no less.

* * *

The weekend allotted for Hogsmeade comes all too quickly. Unfortunately, despite our previously plans, Draco is unable to attend. I've already given him grief for this, so I decide to hold it back when it comes time to say goodbye. I don't want to seem needy. I have offered to stay with him on many occasions, but he refuses to let me or even tell me why he can't come and why I can't say. He just says that it's something no one else is allowed to know about.

He walks with me to the entrance of Hogwarts where he gives me a quick kiss before turning around and leaving. I walk with a large group of other Hogwarts students who are going to Hogsmeade, yet I am fiercely alone. I've heard chattering every now and then about a real Defense Against the Dark Arts class that is going to be taught. People will be going to the Hog's Head. That's where I plan to go.

I walk behind the Weasley twins, trying to looks as ordinary possible. Draco fills my mind. It's obvious that I can't tell him what I did at Hogsmeade if I go to the Hog's Head. But I don't like lying to him. I guess some things can't be changed. I'll have no choice but to lie to him…again. He doesn't know my true past, and I lie to him about it every time it comes up.

"We remember you," a voice says to me, causing me to jump. I was too distracted by my thoughts of Draco to realize that the two redheaded boys have slowed and are walking on either side of now. "You were watching the Slytherin Quidditch team practice."

"Which one are you again?" I ask the boy who is speaking to me.

"I'm Fred. That's George," he answers.

"Why were you following us?" George asks.

"Yeah, why would a Slytherin care where two Gryffindors are going?" Fred interjects.

"You're Malfoy's friend, aren't you?" This comes from George.

"You wouldn't be spying on us for him, would you?" Fred asks.

They're more annoying than I remember. "I was going to the Hog's Head. Is it my fault if you were going there too? Trust me, following the two of you is not at the top of my to-do list," I answer.

"The Hog's Head?" Fred asks. "That place is a bit dodgy for someone like yourself to go alone, isn't it?"

"I think you're right, Freddy," George answers for me. Then he looks at me, "Charlotte – that is you name, right? – why don't you go to the Three Broomsticks? That place is much safer."

"First, I'm not technically alone now, am I? I mean, if the two of you are going, and you obviously are, then I'm not really alone, even if I'm not going with you. You'll be there, so I'm not really alone," I answer. "Besides, Harry, Ron, and Hermione aren't meeting at a well-travelled place such as the Three Broomsticks, are they? They wouldn't want Umbridge to find out about their little plan."

"How do you know about that?" Fred asks abruptly.

"Hogwarts isn't exactly a place that keep secrets that well, is it?" I answer.

"But why would a Slytherin want to go against Umbridge? Wasn't she a Slytherin as well?" George says.

"Yes, but not everyone is as loyal to the House as they should be. They're just Houses at school, really. I don't understand why it's such a big deal," I reply. At that moment, we reached the doors to the Hog's Head. There are already a bunch of Hogwarts students in the pub.

"You sure you're a Slytherin?" Fred asks. I enter the Hog's Head without answering.

Hermione begins speaking. "Um – we thought it would be good – if – er – we could learn Defense Against the Dark Arts from – er – someone who actually knows how to defend himself against the Dark Arts instead of the rubbish Umbridge teaches us because that's not really Defense Against the Dark Arts. I thought it'd be good if we took matters into our own hands…you know – to – er – learn the spells and not just the theories."

Some people ask questions, but I don't listen. I'm carefully watching Harry. I'm not sure he's a hundred percent behind this. He looks rather queasy. My attention snaps back to Hermione when I hear her say, "Because Lord Voldemort's back." Some of the people shriek or make other involuntary movements.

"Where's the proof that You-Know-Who's back?" a blond-headed boy asks.

"Dumbledore believes it –"

"Dumbledore believes _him_," the boy cuts her off, pointing at Harry.

I can see how most of the people could have doubts. I mean, nobody wants to accept the fact that Voldemort is back. But if they come to something like this, they should at least believe the back-story to all of it.

"What makes me say You-Know-Who's back?" I hear Harry ask them. "I saw him." I stop listening there. He's seen Voldemort? I can't help but wonder what he looks like. For some reason, I can picture him having long, greasy hair and black eyes. But then I realize that I probably only think he looks like that because Snape does, and I hate Snape and therefore want to compare the two of them.

I've missed an important part of the conversation, because I hear Harry say, "I don't want to talk about Cedric Diggory, all right? So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out." Nobody moves.

"So," Hermione says. "So…like I was saying…if you want to learn some defense, then we need to work out how we're going to do it, how often we're going to meet, and where we're going to –"

"Is it true that you can produce a Patronus?"

"Yeah," Harry answers. I lean a little closer.

"A corporeal Patronus?"

Harry asks the girl who she is. I don't listen to her answer. I'm too intent on trying to hear his answer. I hear that he can create a stag Patronus. Everyone starts asking about what he's done, from killing a basilisk to saving the Sorcerer's Stone (whatever that is) to completing the tasks of the Triwizard Tournament. Harry tries to explain to them that he had help, but no one really wants to hear it. I don't understand why he's being modest, but I can understand him trying to get the limelight off himself. It can't be comfortable.

"…are we agreed to take lessons from Harry?" Hermione asks.

Inputs come from all over the room about how the lessons cannot interfere with this or that. Hermione agrees to come up with a time that won't. The group of students go on to speculate why Umbridge doesn't want them to know Defense Against the Dark Arts, something about Dumbledore laying siege on the Ministry. After a few more minutes of discussing, Hermione pulls a piece of parchment from her bag and tells everyone to sign up. I readily agree and sign my name when it comes to me. The group breaks apart.

I hang around outside the Hog's Head, waiting for Harry, Ron, and Hermione. When they step out, I immediately go to them. "Harry," I say.

"Who are you?" Ron asks me.

"She's the Slytherin I told you about," Hermione answers for me.

A wide smile spreads across the faces of Ron and Harry. "The one who Stunned Snape?" Ron asks me.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "That's me. Charlotte," I offer them my hand. "Charlotte Rodgers."

Harry and Ron both shake my hand. "You're Malfoy's girlfriend, right?" Harry asks.

I feel heat rise in my cheeks. "Yes."

"Why were you in there?" Harry nods to the Hog's Head.

"I want to learn Defense Against the Dark Arts," I say. He doesn't hide his skepticism. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Really?" he asks. "Then what is?"

"I…you said that you had _seen_ Voldemort," I begin.

"That's right," he says defensively.

I swallow. "Could…could you tell me what he looks like?" I know it sounds like an odd request, almost as if I don't believe his story, but I have to know. I have to be prepared for when I do see him. I don't know when that is, but I know it won't be too long.

"I told you in there that I won't talk about Cedric if that's what you're getting at," Harry says firmly.

"I don't want to know about what Voldemort did to Cedric!" I tell him. "I believe you: he murdered him. I didn't know Cedric. I need to know what Voldemort looks like."

"Why?" Ron asks for Harry. "How could that possibly matter?"

My eyes dart to Ron, then back to Harry. "It matters to me," I say quietly.

"I don't know what you're playing at, Charlotte," Harry answers, "but I wouldn't tell anyone about the meeting we just had if I were you. I don't think it would be in your best interest."

"Don't you understand?" I say desperately. If he knew why I wanted – no, needed – to know what Voldemort looked like, he wouldn't argue with me. "I don't care about the meeting! I'm not going to tell anyone! I _want_ to learn the Defense Against the Dark Arts! But I _need_ to know what Voldemort looks like!"

"I'm sorry," he continues, "but I find it hard to trust anyone who is as close to Malfoy as you are."

"Even if that person attacked Snape?" I counter.

"Especially then," Harry replies. I look to Hermione for help, but she is loyal to Harry and doesn't argue on my behalf. I can't say I blame her. She hardly knows me. "There's no way to know where your allegiances lie." With that, the three of them walk away. That did not go as I had planned. Not only have I now got Harry and his friends questioning my motives as to why I want to learn the Defense Against the Dark Arts, but I also still have no clue as to what Voldemort looks like. It seems irrational, I know. But knowing what he looks like would make me feel better. Just knowing _something_ about him would make me feel better.

I head back to the castle, feeling oddly let down, even though part of me figured it would end up like this.

**Let me know what you thought! As always, thank so much for the reviews!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I only own Charlotte...just saying :)**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Yeah, it's definitely not going to be a fun moment for her. I'm already planning how it's going to happen lol. I think there are too many stories on Fanfiction that throw a character into the middle of the Golden Trio. I didn't want to do that, which is why Charlotte is in Slytherin, as far from the Golden Trio as one can possible be in Hogwarts. And I see what you're getting at about Charlotte and Draco doing a dangerous thing...I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it plays out;). Thanks for reviewing! I don't like to update unless I get feedback on the previous one (it doesn't always work out that way, but it makes it easier if people ask questions, you know?) Anyways, thanks!**

**CHAPTER 11**

Hogsmeade seems like it was months ago, but here I stand in the Slytherin common room with Draco the next day as he still refuses to tell me where he was or what he was doing. There is an Educational Decree posted on the board. I can't help but wonder if he had something to do with it. He was being so secretive, and then it just happens that all of the student organizations, societies, teams, groups, and clubs are disbanded? Something doesn't add up, but Draco resolutely denies having anything to do with it. His defense is Quidditch. He says he would never risk the sport like that, but I don't know. I only accept his answer because I care about him.

Little did I know as I walk to the Potions room just how bad things were going to become. We are standing outside the classroom when Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk up with a couple of other Gryffindors. Draco shows his buddies and me a piece of parchment that he had not yet shown me. It's not until he announces that it's permission from Umbridge for the Slytherin team to start Quidditch once again that I realize he was waiting for Harry and his friends to show up. He ends his boasting by saying, "It'll be interesting to see whether Gryffindor are allowed to keep playing, won't it?"

I see Hermione say something to an obviously angry Harry.

"I mean," Draco continues, getting louder to antagonize Harry, "if it's a question of influence with the Ministry, I don't think they've got much of a chance… From what my father says, they've been looking for an excuse to sack Arthur Weasley for years… And as for Potter… My father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo's…apparently they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic…"

He makes a face I assume is mocking the poor people whose brains have been messed up by magic. Crabbe and Goyle grunt with normal laughter, but Pansy shrieks with laughter in an unnatural way. I don't laugh. I look Neville, who stands behind Harry, as his face becomes twisted in fury. Before I even realize what's happening, Neville is charging at Draco.

"Neville, no!"

Harry grabs Neville, shouting for Ron's help. They pull him back away from Draco as he mutters things about St. Mungo's. Snape comes out and takes ten points from Gryffindor for what Snape calls fighting between Ron, Harry, and Neville. I want to stay back and say something, but I can't bring myself to do it. When we all get seated, Snape motions to Umbridge and refers to her as a classroom guest for the day. "We are continuing Strengthening Solutions today." He waves the instructions onto the board. I hardly pay any attention to Umbridge, trying to ignore the fact that she's even here.

But too soon, she walks to the front of the classroom and says to Snape, despite his back being to her, "Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level. Though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the Strengthening Solution. I think the Ministry would prefer if that was removed from the syllabus."

Snape straightens and turns toward her.

"Now…how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" she asks.

"Fourteen years," Snape answers, his expression hard to read.

"You applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?"

"Yes."

"But you were unsuccessful?"

"Obviously." Without my permission, my respect for Snape shoots up.

"And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"

"Yes." He's extremely quiet and extremely angry.

"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?"

"I suggest you ask him."

"Oh I shall."

"I suppose this is relevant?" His eyes narrow, and once again my respect for him shoots up without my permission.

"Oh yes," she answers. "Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers' – er – backgrounds…" I can't help but wonder if the Ministry knows about him being a Death Eater. I mean, surely they would have found out when Voldemort first fell, but would they know he has returned? I doubt it.

I ignore Snape completely as he torments Harry a bit, no doubt trying to make himself feel better after Umbridge humiliated him. After Potions, I part ways with Draco and go to Study of Ancient Runes with Hermione.

We don't talk much. The class is rather dull without her talking to me, and I find myself wishing I had taken Divination. But then I think about Trelawney and decide it's better if I didn't.

After this dreadful class, I go to Defense Against the Dark Arts, which is even more dreadful than a quiet Study of Ancient Runes.

* * *

I've been in the Slytherin common room for a couple of hours. The Slytherin Quidditch team is practicing, which leaves me with no one to talk to and a lot of time to work on homework. Unfortunately, I finished that about half an hour ago, so now I'm twiddling my thumbs both ways. But that doesn't really entertain me. Draco won't be getting back for nearly another hour. A thought occurs to me, and I stand abruptly and leave the room.

I look down the corridor, debating. Curiosity beats down my better judgment, and I start walking through the hallway. I stop when I reach Snape's office door. Again, my better judgment flares up and tries to stop me. And again, my curiosity beats it down. I knock on the door.

"Enter." I push the door open to find Snape brewing a potion. He turns and freezes when he sees me. "Rodgers?" He's obviously just as confused as my better judgment is…

"Professor," I reply. He looks at me inquiringly. I realize he's waiting for me to say why I came to his office. In truth, I am too. I don't know why I let myself do this. "You said I could come to you if I needed something since you already know about my duty…"

"And you refused my help," Snape replies. "Why would you change your mind? I'm sure Draco won't be at practice much longer. You can talk to him then." He turns his back toward me and begins his potion again, silently telling me that the discussion is over. My curiosity takes over once again, and I move to the chair in front of his desk and sit down. He hears the creak of the chair and turns. "Not very good at reading body language, I gather." Giving up, he sits down at his desk. "What is it?"

He looks and sounds uncomfortable. I fidget. "Well, I was wondering…" I begin. "I was wondering…" I stop, distracted by a wrinkle in my robes which I decide I must straighten out at that moment for my life depends on it. I silently curse myself for coming in here. "I was wondering…"

"Yes, I understand that," he comments. "But what were you wondering?"

"Well, it's just that I couldn't help but notice…" I stop again, still looking down at my robes. Snape grunts. It's obvious that I'm pushing his patience, but I can't help it. "Okay, Professor, so I was wondering –"

"What were you wondering?" he says exasperatedly.

I look up and meet his eyes. "Does the Ministry – or Dumbledore for that matter – know you were once a Death Eater?"

He pauses, not expecting this question. "Yes," he answers slowly.

"And yet you didn't go to Azkaban?" I ask.

"No," he says slowly.

My head cocks to the side before I can stop it. "Why is that?"

Snape shifts in his chair. "I don't see how this is relevant."

"I want to know as much as possible about the man who is supposedly protecting me."

"I don't see why you need to know…that particular piece…of information."

I take a deep breath and say, before I am able to stop myself, "If you are Death Eater, why did you not go to Azkaban, when my mother did? What could my mother have done that was worse than being a Death Eater? Why would a follower of Voldemort not go to Azkaban while a woman, who simply made a mistake, did?" I find myself shaking. This conversation just went down a path I had not intended it to. But now I want to know.

He shifts uncomfortably. "I don't know what your mother did," he begins, "but to end up in Azkaban, it can't have been just a simple mistake."

"That's not what I asked!" I shout at him.

"I was a spy for Voldemort," Snape says slowly. "When it was discovered that I was Death Eater, I became a false spy for Dumbledore, who, in turn, testified for me and kept me out of Azkaban."

"You sorry coward," I say as I stand and turn to leave.

"Have I not warned you about calling me a coward?" I hear him snarl. "_Stupefy_!"

I am hit by a spell and thrown against the door. Blackness takes over my vision.

When I open my eyes, I am still in Snape's office. "What did you do to me?" I ask.

"Stunned you. Then awoke you." He glares at me from behind his desk. "You will learn not to call me a coward."

"I believe it is against Hogwarts protocol to punish students with magic," I spit at him.

"Yes, well, you're not even a real student. You are a swine that has been left in my care," he answers maliciously.

"I don't care what you do to me." I stand up uneasily. "It doesn't change the fact that you are a coward! You cowered behind Dumbledore while my mother went to Azkaban. You followed Voldemort. She didn't but was still sent there. She didn't cower away. You did." I open the door and storm out, slamming the door behind me.

I blindly stampede through the corridor and accidentally smash into Draco. "What's wrong?" he asks me after he steadies himself on his feet again.

"Practice over already?" I ask him, ignoring his question.

"Yeah."

"How'd it go?" With much difficulty, I keep my voice upbeat and interested.

"Really well," he says excitedly. "I think we'll be able to when the Quidditch Cup this year!" He puts his arm around me. "I have a surprise for you." He leads me away from the Slytherin common room before we even go inside. "It's the real reason I was unable to go to Hogsmeade."

We enter an abandoned classroom, one which I have never before seen. But it doesn't look like a classroom at all. "I had some seventh years help me," Draco says. "One of the benefits of the last name 'Malfoy.'" I look around. It looks so familiar. There are some torches lit around the walls.

"Is this…"

"A replica of the Hog's Head? Yes," he answers. "That's why the seventh years had to help me. It's a more advanced form of Transfiguration." He leads me to a table in the middle of the room. It's the only part of the room that is different from the Hog's Head, except for the bartender not being here. "I figured, since we're about to reach our two-month-anniversary, I would give you a nice surprise. I would have waited till Friday, but I just couldn't." He smiles at me as we take our seats. On the table sits two candles. "Do you like it?"

"It's perfect," I say. "Definitely what I need today."

Draco waves his wand, and a plate of dessert appears. "I guessed you wouldn't be overly hungry considering dinner was a few hours ago, but there's always room for dessert." With another wave of his wand, two forks appear. "It took a lot of preparation, which is why I stayed instead of going to Hogsmeade. I didn't want you to think I was avoiding you, so I figured telling you to go without me would be easier."

"This is wonderful," I tell him. I can't put into words how elated I feel. I could very well be in the clouds.

"I thought you might like it." We eat the dessert slowly, in silence. I'm in utter awe that he pulled it off without me ever giving a thought as to what he was doing.

"This is amazing, Draco," I tell him. "Thank you so much."

"This isn't all!" he laughs. "I have a present for you!"

I don't have anything for him with me. I had already planned on what I was going to give him, but it's in the girls' dormitory. I tell him as much.

"You don't have to give me anything," he replies.

"I do," I argue. "I'll give it to you later, when we get back to the common room."

He pulls a package out of his robes. "It was something my father gave my mother in their fifth year. I write her often, and I've told her of you. She wants to meet you." He hands me the package. "She sent this to me so I could give it to you."

I gingerly open the gift. Inside, there is a silver necklace with a beautiful emerald pendant. My hand flies to cover my mouth. "It's gorgeous," I say quietly. I don't mention it, but this is the first real gift I've ever gotten. At the orphanage we would get old charity toys, but for the past five years I haven't even had that. Tears fill my eyes. "I don't know how to thank you."

Draco stands and comes toward me, motioning me to turn so he can put the necklace on me. I hand it to him and lift my hair off my shoulders, baring my neck to him. He slips the necklace on me and latches. His hands linger on my skin. I stand and turn toward him. He cups my cheek with his hand. "I don't know what it is about you," he says in a low whisper. I put my hands on his chest. "But my life feels empty when you're not around. I don't know how I survived Hogwarts before you came."

"I don't know how I survived anything before you," I tell him.

He quickly closes the gap between us, placing his lips over mine. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I run my hands up his chest and wrap them around his neck. He removes one hand and swipes everything off the table on which we had just eaten, sending plates and cups and forks clattering to the cold stone floor. He lifts me into the air and sets me down on the table. Our kiss deepens. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

The door creaks. We continue snogging. Someone clears their throat. Abruptly, we stop snogging. Draco buries his face into my neck and swears quietly. Then he pulls away and turns toward the door. I finally see who is standing there. It is none other than Severus Snape. "Mr. Malfoy, Miss Rodgers," he says, "come with me."

I slide down off the table. Draco reaches for my hand but stops, realizing that might not be the best idea. We follow Snape to his office, where we both sullenly sit down across from Snape's desk. He pinches the bridge of his nose as if trying to find a way to start scolding us for our actions. After a few awkward glances between me and Draco and a few awkwardly silent minutes, Snape finally says, "Very few times in my career at Hogwarts have I ever…" he stops and glares at the both of us.

"Professor," Draco begins.

"Silence!" Snape commands, cutting him off. "The headmaster has too much to deal with to worry about…relationship issues." He folds his hands together on his desk. "Now, what do you suppose we do about this…issue?" Draco and I both shift in our seats. Why couldn't it have been any other professor…any other professor…? "No suggestions? Well –"

"Professor, wait!" Draco interrupts.

"Yes, Draco?" Snape asks, his face full of insincere interest in what the boy has to say. "Don't punish Charlotte. It was me…It was me. It was my fault."

"Your nobility is to be honored," Snape says, "but she is just as much to blame."

"No, professor," Draco argues, "she isn't!"

Snape frowns. "Draco –"

"Draco," I cut Snape off. "Don't try to take blame for this! I am just as much at fault!"

"Detention," Snape announces, "for the both of you. My office. Every night for two weeks." Draco and I stand to leave. "Wait." We turn back. "Tell no one of this. I am afraid that Umbridge will react much differently than I." He looks right at Draco, and I have a feeling Snape just doesn't want the Slytherin Seeker to get suspended from playing Quidditch.

**So yeah...that happened. I had to make it Snape because I feel like that would be one of the most awkward of the professors to find them. **

**What'd you think? Let me know!**


	12. Chapter 12

**The credit for the whole Quidditch match that this chapter ends on goes to J.K. Rowling**

* * *

**Thanks to those who reviewed!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks. I want her perspective on the Voldemort thing to be kinda blurry for a while. She's mainly trying to figure out everyone else's stance right now. Charlotte won't meet Voldemort for a few more chapters, but some things about her are going to be revealed in Chapter 17 (if my calculations are correct). Quick side note, does your username stand for something? Like, is it something in another language?**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing. I can't wait to write what happens next! And yeah, I try to update every day. It doesn't always work, but that's what I shoot for anyway.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 12**

Draco and I don't talk about what happened last night. In fact, we steer clear of the subject of Snape or relationships in general. But I do wear the beautiful necklace Draco gave me. When all of this blows over, which will probably be after we serve all of our detentions, I plan on giving Draco his gift. I don't mention it of course; I'm trying to make myself feel a little less awkward about what happened.

I've thought about it, and I think I'm glad it was Snape. I wouldn't have been able to look McGonagall in the eye again, and Umbridge would have punished us more severely. I'm pretty neutral to my other professors; it might have been easier if it were one of them. Then again, none of them would have cared about the Slytherin Quidditch team like Snape did. I have concluded it was for the best that it was Snape.

Herbology is the first class we have, and we have it with Ravenclaw, most of whom I do not know. I recognize a few from the Hog's Head, but we don't acknowledge each other. The other Slytherins won't take lightly to the idea of Harry teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.

After a treacherous two periods with Ravenclaw in Herbology, we make our way to Transfiguration with the Gryffindors. Again, we work on Vanishing Spells. Our animals are gradually getting larger and larger. I spend extra time with Draco in the common room working on his ability to vanish something almost every night.

When we walk into McGonagall's classroom, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are already there. Ron looks over at me. Within a few minutes, both Harry and Hermione have both looked over at me as well. They probably think I'm telling Draco about the Defense class thing. Draco seems to notice that they have all looked over here, for he says, "Did you have a run in with Potter at Hogsmeade?"

I inwardly smile. He's just given me the perfect excuse without even knowing it. "Yes," I answer. "It wasn't anything important, but I don't think they will forgive me easily." I laugh quietly.

"What happened?" he asks quietly, still trying to make his rat vanish.

"The Mudblood almost ran me over. I don't know where they were going so quickly," I say, forcing down my regret of lying to Draco. "I spilled my butterbeer on Potter. Weasley jumped to his defense. I told them it was the Mudblood's fault." I smile at Draco's approving look.

"Good job," Draco congratulates me. "Put them in their rightful place."

Hours later, after dinner, Draco has Quidditch practice again. We say a swift goodbye.

I see some of the others who were in the Hog's Head excitedly chattering away as they purposefully make their way through the castle. I follow as nonchalantly as possible. I don't need a repeat of the Weasley twins. We stop on the seventh floor, right by the Room of Requirement. Then it hits me: Harry knows about the room. I can't really explain it, but it makes me sad to know that it's not just mine and Draco's place. Others can find it.

I step inside behind Neville and a few other people. I don't really need a recap of how Harry found the room. So I look around in awe as he tells the others. The door Draco and I used to get to Hogsmeade isn't there. Instead, there are Dark Detectors, objects used to detect Dark Magic or dark wizards. There are also a few sofas, on which I sit down along with some others.

When everyone arrives, Harry starts talking about what we should do when he stops and asks Hermione why her hand is raised. Hermione says, "I think we ought to elect a leader."

"Harry is leader," Cho says. I was thinking the same thing. I don't understand why Hermione even suggested such a thing.

"Yes, but we should vote on it properly. It will make it formal and give him authority." We take a vote, and, of course, Harry is elected leader.

"We should have a name," Hermione then says. "It will support unity."

A couple of suggestions are shouted out, most of which obviously say what we are, but that wouldn't be good if someone overheard us talking. "What about the Defense Association?" Cho asks. "We could call it as the D.A. for short, so nobody knows what we're talking about?"

"Yeah, the D.A.'s good," says a girl with red hair. I put two and two together and come up with the conclusion that she is a Weasley as well. "Only let's make it stand for Dumbledore's Army because that's the Ministry's worst fear, isn't it?" I've never even spoken to this girl, but I like the way she thinks.

We take another vote and officially become Dumbledore's Army. Harry suggests we begin with _Expelliarmus_. After some arguments from people in the crowd and Harry telling them how it saved his life but that they are free to leave if they want, we separate into pairs. I do okay, but I'm not as good at this as I am Transfiguration.

When Hermione asks what time it is, and we realize that it is ten past nine, we start scrambling for the exit. We decide that next Wednesday will be our next meeting, and we disband.

Only as I begin descending the stair to the dungeon does it hit me: I've missed my first detention with Snape. I immediately pick up my pace. I see the Quidditch team entering the common room when I reach the bottom of the stairs. I sprint toward them. Draco runs into me as he exits the room. "Did you just come from detention?" he asks me quietly. "I tried to get away from practice but…"

"No," I answer. "I completely forgot. I was with McGonagall."

Draco takes me by the hand, and we go to Snape's office. Draco reaches to knock, but Snape flings the door open. "I suggest you release Miss Rodger's hand. After all, that is what caused all of this in the first place, is it not?" Snape says. Draco instantly releases my hand. Snape ushers us into his office. "I know that I didn't specify a time, but from now on, be here after dinner."

"But professor," Draco answers, "what about Quidditch practice."

Snape raises an eyebrow. "You can go after your detention." He sits down behind his desk and takes out some papers and beings reading them.

"Sir, what are we supposed to be doing?" Draco asks quietly.

"Sitting there," Snape replies, "without talking."

"But…how is this detention?" I ask him.

Snape sets his quill down. "Draco has been a rather well-behaved student since his first year. He fell into the common temptation of young witches and wizards. I am not going to punish him."

I look over at Draco. He seems just as confused as I do. "What about me?" I ask. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't mind sitting here. I was just wondering…"

"You wonder quite frequently," Snape comments. "As for you, we have already had a discussion about the discipline enforced upon you. I believe we talked about it yesterday. The same applies in this situation as it applied then." I now know why Snape commented on my wonderings. I'm not really a student, so he can let me go without punishing me as he would another student.

Draco looks as if he is about to ask me what Snape is referring to when I give him a look to let him know I'll explain later. "Remain silent," Snape says. "Believe me, if you weren't in my House, punishment would be worse." And I believe him. There's no doubt that Snape is nicer to the Slytherins.

After nearly an hour and a half of silence, Snape lets us leave his office and go back to the Slytherin Dungeons.

"What was he talking about?" Draco asks me after he closes Snape's office door.

I rub my eyes. "Well, it's kind of a long story. Why don't I tell you when we have more time? Tomorrow morning, perhaps?" I reply.

We enter the common room. Draco agrees to wait for his answer. He gives me a quick kiss. We go back to our dormitories. I fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits my pillow.

When I meet Draco in the common room the next morning, he immediately asks me about what Snape said during our detention, not that I expected any different. But there are people around, such as Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy, and I don't what to have them hear. I pretend I didn't hear him, and instead, ask, "Why did we have such a pointless detention? There's really no reason for us to be in there."

"Like I said before," Draco answers as we make our way to the Great Hall for breakfast, "it pays to have the Malfoy last name."

Pansy perks up, "What did you do to get detention?" She looks accusingly at me. I pretend not to notice.

"We were caught in the empty classroom in the dungeons…" I say it vague enough to let Pansy's imagination run wild. She stops talking completely and walks ahead of us, which gives me the joy I need at the moment.

* * *

The time comes of the next D.A. meeting. I still have yet to tell Draco about not being a real student. There hasn't been a good time, and quite frankly, I haven't wanted to tell him. He'll hate me. I dash up the stairs to the Room of Requirement. The door opens, and members of Dumbledore's Army file out. Snape's detention has caused me to miss the meeting.

I wait in the corridor. I'll just ask Hermione what I've missed. Fred and George Weasley leave the room and wave obnoxiously to me. I wave back and look away, hoping they'll take the hint. They don't. "You missed the meeting," Fred says.

"We went over some really important things," George adds.

"Like how we're to get in touch with each other," Fred continues.

"Without drawing suspicious looks when Gryffindors talk to a Slytherin," George finishes.

I smile. "Like you're both doing right now?" I ask.

"And like you're doing," Fred answers.

"So you're being just as much a House traitor as we are, if you think about it," George says. They begin walking off. "Tell Malfoy to watch his back!" George says over his shoulder.

"Why is that?" I ask them.

Fred answers, "As Beaters for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, it's our job to knock him off his broom!" They disappear down the stairs, laughing.

A few minutes later, the golden trio – as I've heard them called in a rather rude way by some of the Slytherins – exit the room. "What did I miss?" I ask them.

"Where were you?" Ron asks.

"Detention with Snape," I answer swiftly.

"For what?" he proceeds to ask me.

"Long story." I look at Harry and Hermione. "What did I miss?"

Hermione hands me a Galleon and begins explaining what it is and how it works. It's a Protean Charm. I flip it over in my hand, examining it, as she explains that when Harry charms his to say a date and time, ours will get hot and that the numbers on the edges will tell us when that time is. The more she describes it, giving me more detail than I really need, the faster I feel all of the color drain from my face. My breathing and my heartbeat quickens. I glance up to look at the three of them. They can tell something is wrong. They're all watching me intently as Hermione continues telling me about the charmed Galleon.

When, at last, she finally stops, it is difficult to find my voice, but I do. "Is…is this…" I swallow down my flaring panic. What if I say too much and they figure out I'm not really who I say I am? But I can't stop myself. "Where did you get this idea?" I ask slowly.

"I read about it in a book." I look over at Hermione.

I rub my mouth with my hand. "What book?"

"I don't remember the title," now I know she's lying. She wouldn't forget a title. I know that much about her. "Why does it matter?"

I drop the Galleon into my pocket. Looking them all in the eyes, I prepare to call them out on the lie. But my brain moves to quickly, and before I can stop it, something else slips out, "This works the same as the Dark Mark, yes? The sign of the Death Eaters…" I freeze. I've just crossed a line. I've said far too much.

"How do you –"

I cut Ron off and say, "Well, good luck in the Quidditch match." I spin around and walk off as fast as possible without drawing any more attention to myself.

The quickly approaching Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin brings out a different side of my professors and fellow students. McGonagall gives us no homework, which is extremely odd because she always gives some sort of homework (even if I never _really_ do it). Snape pretends not to notice when Slytherin players hex Gryffindor players. One girl ended up in the hospital wing, but Snape still refused to hear all of the witnesses to the attack. This bothers me because someone could get seriously injured. The Slytherin team practices every day. I'll be glad when this match is over so I can spend time with Draco again.

Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, and I pass Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the way to class, and Pansy, trying to impress Draco no doubt, calls to Harry, "Hey, Potty, I heard Warrington's sworn to knock you off your broom Saturday."

Harry quickly responds with, "Warrington's aim's so pathetic I'd be more worried if he were aiming for the person next to me." Hermione and Ron laugh. The smirk fades from Pansy's face, her cheeks slightly going scarlet as she glances at Draco.

The morning of the match, Draco hands me a load of his green and silver Slytherin apparel to borrow for the game. It almost perfectly matches the necklace he gave me. The last thing he gives me to wear is a badge that says "Weasley is our King." I don't know what this is in reference to, but I put it on anyway, silently hoping the golden trio will forgive me for being a Slytherin.

When Ron walks into the Great Hall, the Slytherins erupt in laughter and point to their badges. I suddenly feel even worse to be a part of this.

After breakfast, we make our way to the Quidditch pitch. I sit as close the announcer's box as possible. The teams fly onto the field. Everyone gets into position. The game begins.

The announcer's name is Lee Jordan; he's in the D.A. I think he's a good friend to the Weasley twins. Draco flies above the rest of the players, along with Harry. They're both searching for the Snitch. Lee Jordan begins his commentary:

"And it's Johnson, Johnson with the Quaffle, what a player that girl is. I've been saying it for years but she still won't go out with me –"

"JORDAN!" yells McGonagall.

"Just a fun fact, Professor, adds a bit of interest – and she's ducked Warrington, she's passed Montague, she's – ouch – been hit from behind by a Bludger from Crabbe…Montague catches the Quaffle, Montague heading back up the pitch and – nice Bludger there from George Weasley, that's a Bludger to the head for Montague, he drops the Quaffle, caught by Katie Bell, Katie Bell of Gryffindor reverse passes to Alicia Spinnet and Spinnet's away –"

Somehow, Lee Jordan manages to be heard over all of the cheering and booing from the crowds.

"– dodges Warrington, avoids a Bludger – close call, Alicia – and the crowd are loving this, just listen to them, what's that they're singing?"

For the first time, I hear the Slytherin crowd singing. Every line of their song mocks Ron. I try to tune it out and listen to Lee Jordan.

"– and Alicia passes back to Angelina!" Lee's rising voice is trying to drown out the Slytherin song. "Come on now, Angelina – looks like she's just got the Keeper to beat! – SHE SHOOTS – SHE – aaaah…"

The Keeper, I feel as if I should know his name considering he's in my House, saves the goal. After that, I drown everything out. I don't see how this is so popular here at Hogwarts. In fact, I don't see why it's so popular in the wizard world. Though, had I grown up around it, I would probably care more. Had Uncle Al kept me, I might even be on the team. Maybe he would have taught me to fly and play Quidditch. Maybe he would have taught me more about magic. I put the thoughts aside. There's no way to change the past. Besides, he died when I was young anyway.

The Slytherin crowd gets louder – how did I not hear about this song before now? – as the Quaffle is carried down the pitch, straight toward the Gryffindor goal. I look away. I don't know who to pull for. Sure, Slytherin is my House, but I feel bad for Ron.

A few goals are scored.

I feel myself rise to my feet as Draco races Harry for what I can only assume is the Snitch. It all happens too quickly. A Bludger flies right at the two of them, and I am unable to breathe. It rams into Harry's back. Madam Hooch, the referee, blows her whistle. She flies up to Crabbe, who is apparently a sore loser. I look back around the pitch for the blond-haired boy. Draco is fine. I can breathe again. Draco says something to Harry, but I can't read his lips or hear him. The Weasley twins are being held back by Harry and some of the other Gryffindor players. I silently will Draco stop talking to them.

Before I realize what's happening, Draco has taken something too far, and George and Harry are on top of him, beating him. Madam Hooch stops it with a spell. Harry and George are sent to the castle. I can see Draco's smirk from here.

* * *

**What'd you think of the chapter? Let me know!  
**

**Quick question: I'm thinking about changing the title from "Voldemort's Planned Immortality" to "Voldemort's Chosen One"**

**Do you think I should? Let me know that too!**


	13. Chapter 13

**So, I did change the title to Voldemort's Chosen One...**

**There is a change I had to make from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." This won't happen often, but for some of the upcoming chapters it was necessary. I won't say what the change is until the end (I don't want to give any spoilers of the chapter)**

* * *

**Rowan: Thanks. I'm glad you reviewed!**

**Dolceconbrio: I feel bad for her too lol. But that's what she gets for being a Slytherin I guess... Your username is awesome. I should've done something with another language. That's a really good, unique idea :)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 13**

I catch up with Draco after the Quidditch match. Most people are talking about what happened, but I couldn't care less. It's obvious that Draco said something more offensive than the song had; I just don't want to know. We walk back to the castle. He's frustrated they lost more than he is about being attacked.

"What's it like, being free in the air?" I ask him.

He looks at me with an odd expression. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I answer. "It just seems that, when you're flying on a broom up in the air, nothing can stop you. What's that like…that feeling of freedom?"

"Have – have you never flown before?" he asks me quietly.

If he knew my true past, he wouldn't have asked. But he doesn't know, which reminds me that I haven't told him the truth about myself. I clear my throat a bit. "They didn't allow it at Durmstrang unless you were on the Quidditch team. Which I never was." This explanation sounds unreasonable to me, but he doesn't question it.

"I'll have to teach you then," he tells me.

"I'd like that," I answer.

"Your birthday's this week, right?" he asks me.

"Yeah." Even to me, my voice sounds dead. The closer I get to seventeen, the closer I become to being a slave of Voldemort. I try not to think about it. "Sixteen!"I say in a falsely cheery voice.

He looks away like he wants to ask me something but is unsure how he should go about it. "So…so what…where…do you have anywhere to go for Christmas?" his voice is quieter than usual.

I'm almost positive the Muggle owners of the house I've been "borrowing" are home by now. I feel heat flush my face. "N-no," I answer. "I'll probably stay here."

"Don't do that. I'll owl my mother and see if it's okay for you to come to our house!" Draco suggests. "I'm sure she won't mind. She's been wanting to meet you."

"Thanks," I say, giving his hand a squeeze.

With the prospect of going to Malfoy Manor again, I don't know how to feel. I'm excited that I can get out of Hogwarts for a while, but I am horrified by how I might be received when I get there. After all, Lucius does hate me. And Narcissa was kind of cold toward me. Maybe if they see how happy Draco is with me they'll put all of those harsh feelings behind them. But I doubt it.

* * *

That Tuesday, when I awake, it hits me: I am officially sixteen today. Part of me wants to rush to the restroom and puke, but I know that will do me no good. I look at the alarm clock next to my four-poster bed. It's just a few minutes after five. Knowing that I am a step closer to Voldemort will keep me up, so instead of fighting it, I crawl out of my bed and get ready for the day. Then I go sit in the common room.

I look around. There is a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ on one of the tables. I go grab it, desiring anything to entertain me. It's today's paper, which is weird. How does a student already have it? It doesn't really matter, I guess. I go to one of the sofas and sit down, opening the paper. After just a few minutes, the harsh reality tells me there is nothing of interest in the paper.

As I place the paper down where I found it, there is a loud banging of someone coming down to the common room. I jump away from the paper, hoping it is not the owner. I calm when I find myself face-to-face with Draco. He seems just as shocked to find me down here as I am for him to be down here.

"Charlotte?" is all he can muster to say. He's obviously flustered about something.

"Draco?" I reply.

He walks over to me and gives me an odd hug. "Happy Birthday…what are doing up so early?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Couldn't sleep," I say simply. "You?"

He holds up a letter. "I got this from my mother, just now." There is a slight shake in his hand.

I place a soft hand on his back and steer him to one of the sofas. We sit down. "What's happened?"

"I've told you about You-Know-Who returning," I nod, signaling for him to continue. I don't want to discuss Voldemort with him. "And you've told no one, correct?"

"Of course not," I answer. "I wouldn't betray you like that."

He offers me a weak smile, but it doesn't fool me. He's severely troubled. "What I'm about to tell you require the same amount of…discretion." His eyes pierce through me. I nod silently. "The Ministry is hushing it up for now. But I don't know how much longer than can keep it quiet." He swallows in what looks like a very painful way. "My aunt and uncle, along with eight others, have broken out of Azkaban. Ten more followers of the Dark Lord our now at large, biding their time until he requires them."

"How...?"

"I don't know how they got out," he says quickly.

"How does…how does your mother know?"

"My father is important in the Ministry. My mother would not have told me had it not been for Aunt Bellatrix and Uncle Rodolphus being in the group. Bellatrix is my mother's sister." He looks away.

"Where are they now?" I ask quietly.

Draco's eyes darken when he looks back to me. "My mother isn't going to turn in her own sister!" he replies defensively. "No one can know!"

"So…they're with your parents?" I conclude.

"I don't know about all of them, but my aunt and uncle are." He grabs me by the shoulders. "You mustn't tell anyone!"

I touch his face. "I wasn't planning on it."

He smiles as he rests his forehead against mine. "On a lighter note," he is a lot more relaxed, "she said she'd love for you to come for Christmas."

"Brilliant." I kiss him softly.

"I have a gift for you, for your birthday. I'll be right back." When he goes to get my gift, I go to get the one I have neglected to give him since our detention. We meet back in the common room moments later. "Open yours first," he says.

We exchange our gifts. His to me is considerably larger than mine to him. I tear open the packaging and freeze. "Is this…"

"Yes," he answers. "I told my parents that I was going to teach you to fly."

I gingerly run my hands along the broom I have just been given. "This is too much," I whisper.

"No, it's not," Draco replies. "It's a Nimbus 2001. It's the same kind I have, so I know how it works. I can teach you much more easily." I try handing it back to him, but he pushes it back to me. "Take it. It's yours."

I wipe a few tears from my eyes. "You do too much, Draco." He shakes his head, denying it. "Open yours now," I command, though it's not near as good as his gifts to me. Draco slowly tears open the gift and pulls out a pocket watch, which seems even more inadequate now that I see it. It's old and obviously used. Scratches have made the family crest on the back hardly readable. "Before you say anything, I want to tell you where it came from." He nods. I can't tell if he likes it or not, so I speed up. "When I went back to my Uncle Al's house, I found this. It's one of the only things I have that was my family's…"

"Are you sure you want me to have it?" he asks. "If it's the only thing you have from them…"

"I'm sure," I answer. "If…if you want it, that is…"

Draco reaches into his robes and takes out the one he already has and hands it to me. He slips his new-old one into its place. "I love it," he replies. "Keep that one, just in case you need to know the time." He smiles, and I put the pocket watch, which is marked with the Malfoy family crest, into my pocket.

"Thanks," I say quietly, feeling worse than trash. He's given me so much, and all I can afford to give him is an old pocket watch. I look down, trying to hide the way I feel from his prying eyes.

He puts his hand under my chin and looks me in the eye. "It's perfect, honestly." He smiles at me. "It's perfect because it came from you. It's a part of your life," he continues. Draco leans a little closer to me. "Anything from you is perfect to me." He kisses my forehead. "Because…because I love you."

I am momentarily at a loss for words, but when I find words, I whisper, "I love you too." Draco pulls me closer to him, covering my lips with his.

I move the broom aside and snuggle up next to him, his arm around my shoulders, my head on his chest. We throw our feet up on the coffee table in front of us. "I should have gotten you more," I tell him. "I promise, for Christmas, I'm going to find you a way to get you something really good."

"You don't have to," he says. I silently disagree.

We stay like that until the other Slytherins start filling up the common room.

* * *

Hours later, we trudge through the snow, down to Care of Magical Creatures – Hagrid was back, as I had learned that morning at breakfast in the Great Hall. Draco's hand tightens on mine when we see Hagrid. The professor is covered in bruises. "We're going in there today!" Hagrid motions to a dark part of the Forbidden Forest. "More sheltered, and they prefer the dark."

Draco's hand tightens even more on mine. "What prefers the dark?" Draco asks loudly, a small trace of panic in his voice. "What did he say prefers the dark – did you hear?"

I look up at him and whisper, "It'll be fine." Draco has told me about his first venture into the Forbidden Forest, and I can't say I blame him for being a bit spooked.

I mutter assurances to Draco, not listening to Hagrid. Draco seems to be trying to listen to both of us. I stop talking, but Hagrid doesn't. I hear him say, "…I reckon I'm probably the on'y person in Britain who's managed ter train 'em –"

"And you're sure they're trained, are you?" Draco says, his panic more obvious now. "Only it wouldn't be the first time you'd brought wild stuff to class, would it?" A lot of the surrounding students murmur their agreements.

"'Course they're trained," Hagrid answers, looking a bit angry.

"So what happened to your face, then?" Draco demands.

"Mind yer own business!" Hagrid is openly angry now. "Now if yeh've finished askin' stupid questions, follow me!"

We tentatively follow Hagrid and the other students into the forest. He tells us to gather around, and he makes a shrieking call, beckoning some creature to him. Nobody makes a sound. Most of us are too scared to do anything. I see some of the leaves on the surrounding trees rustle around. A pair of blank, white eyes on a dragon-looking face comes from behind the trees. On its skeletal horse-like body there is a pair of wings. I nudge Draco and point to it.

"What?" Draco asks me.

I look around. Almost everybody has the same confused look as Draco.

"Here comes another one!" Hagrid says. Sure enough, another skeletal horse with a dragon face and wings appears. "Now…put yer hands up, who can see 'em?"

There are very few of us who raise our hands. Harry is in this small group, which is no surprise if all of the stories are true, which I believe they are.

"Excuse me," Draco sneers, "but what exactly are we supposed to be seeing?"

Hagrid points to a cow carcass, which was being stripped by the creatures.

"What's eating it?" says a terrified girl.

"Thestrals," Hagrid answers.

I'm too mesmerized by the creature to listen to the rest of their questions and Hagrid's explanations. I don't even notice when Umbridge she appears. I hear see her mocking Hagrid about something, but I'm too absorbed in the thestrals to listen to her, until she comes toward me, Draco, and Pansy.

Umbridge looks at Pansy, who has tears of laughter in her eyes. "Do you find that you are able to understand Professor Hagrid when he talks?"

"No…because…well…it sounds like grunting a lot of the time…"

"Thestrals," Hagrid continues, "once they're tamed, have 'mazin' sense o' direction, jus' tell 'em where yeh want ter go –"

"Assuming they can understand you, of course," Draco laughs. Pansy erupts in unnatural giggles, like she does every time Draco makes a joke. I give the golden trio a sympathetic glance, silently pleading for their forgiveness.

I don't hear the rest of Umbridge's questions. I'm too busy trying to get Hermione's attention. I need her to know how sorry I am about all of this. She seems to be making a point not to look at me. She's the only who would be able to convince Harry and Ron that I'm not like the other Slytherins, even if I am dating one.

Class ends before I can tell Hermione how awful I feel, and we're back to the castle for dinner. Draco and I remain in the Great Hall when Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy go back to the Slytherin Dungeon. Astronomy is tonight, and we're just wasting time until then. Draco turns to me, "You've seen someone die, haven't you? You could see the thestrals."

"Yeah, yeah, I've seen death," I answer.

"When? What happened?"

I bite my lip. "Why don't we go somewhere a little more private?" I ask, glancing around to all of the people sitting near us.

Draco leads me from the Great Hall to a quiet area. We sit down. "Go on," he encourages me.

"Don't hate me," I start.

"Not possible for me to hate you. I promise." He smiles.

"I'm still the same person."

He nods.

"When I was a baby, my father left my mother and me. Then she was sent to Azkaban. My Uncle Al took me in, but then he got rid of me, sent me to an orphanage – but I've already told you some of this. Anyway, when I turned ten, they gave me a letter, and I learned I was a witch. I went to find my great-uncle." I wring my hands together. "This is where the lies begin."

"Okay…"

"I stole from Diagon Alley…a lot. I got my wand there, and books to help me learn how to use magic. I've been living in caves and Muggle houses since I was ten…" I take a deep breath. "There are people that want me dead, Draco, which is really why I am here."

"What kind of people?" he asks.

I take a deep breath. "I…I can't say…" He nods, telling me to continue. "Occasionally, some would find me…I didn't have another choice…they were going to kill me…it was kill or be killed!"

Draco takes my hands. "It's okay. Is that why you're afraid I would hate you? That you've killed someone?" he asks. "You were protecting yourself…"

I nod, unable to tell him about Voldemort's plan for me, unable to tell him that his father is the one who caught me. "Some people finally found me and brought me here for my own protection. With the professors and Dumbledore and the charms protecting Hogwarts, they thought I would be safe."

"Who thought you'd be safe?" he asks.

I shrug.

"That's not so bad."

"I've told you my mother died in Azkaban…right?"

"Yes, I believe we've talked about it."

"Now you know…everything…" Not really, but I don't want to tell him everything; I can't tell him everything.

"You had me worried." He stands. "Let's get to Astronomy, shall we?"

"We shall." I take his hand.

* * *

**The change was that the Death Eaters got out of Azkaban a lot earlier than what happened in the book. But, like I said before, it's necessary for later chapters.**

**What'd you think of this chapter? Let me know!**


	14. Chapter 14

**So, this is the chapter where the two of the Golden Trio confront Charlotte. I hope you like it! :)**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks again for reviewing. I feel kinda bad for her. It would be really hard to lie to someone like that. Like I said above, there is a small confrontation. It doesn't last that long (you'll see why), but I included because you were right: Ron would feel betrayed. Oh, I'm already planning some of the issues for Malfoy Manor, and I can't wait for everyone to read them! How long have you played the piano?**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (7) It comes up much, much later how she got hit by the spell. (8) I'm glad Draco and Charlotte got together too. That's important. (10) Yeah, they're official now. (11) I wanted it to be Snape cause I thought it'd be a bit more awkward lol. (12) The title wasn't always Voldemort's Chosen One. I changed it from the other thing (13) I can't talk about her family lol. I chose the name because it is the female form of Charles, which is derived from a word meaning "warrior." That, and I am a fan of Charles Dickens lol. There will be some problems at Malfoy Manor, for sure.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 14**

December not only brought colder weather but also loads of homework for fifth-years. Why I have to do all of this when I'm not even a true student, I'll never know… Either way though, I'm forced to do it. So I do it grudgingly. Draco and I sit alone at one of the tables, doing a history essay. It's absolutely miserable, but with Quidditch practice being every day now, doing homework together is really the only time we have together except at meals.

Slowly but surely, most of the students drift to their dormitories. Having hardly done any work while Draco was at practice, I have just as much left as he does, so we both stay in the common room, silently working. After what could have very well been ages, I write the final word of my essay and just stare at it. If my life depended on it, I couldn't repeat any of what I wrote. I glance up at Draco, who is still intently writing his own essay.

A chill runs over me. When everyone migrates out of the common room, the temperature drops drastically. I walk over to the fire and sit down on the floor with my back to it. Draco looks up at me and puts his quill down. "Did you finish?" I ask him.

"Not even close," he says, coming toward me. He sits down next to me, his back to the fire as well.

We're silent for a few minutes, just enjoying the heat.

Finally, he puts his hand on top of mine. The more I think about being sixteen, the more the feeling of dread looms over me. Draco has questioned the change in me that he has noticed since my birthday, but I usually shirk it off. But I know it's killing him. Then it comes: his question. "What's wrong?"

I fold my legs into a pretzel and turn to him, keeping my hand with his. "It's…it's…Voldemort," I say quietly.

His eyes slightly widen. "What about him?" he asks softly.

"Well, with the Death Eaters breaking out of Azkaban…he's plotting another war, isn't he?" I purse my lips and look into his eyes. He doesn't seem fazed by the question.

"I think he might be…but I'm not completely sure," Draco whispers.

I take a slow, deep breath. "I hear that many of his followers come from Slytherin," I say. "Is that true?"

"Yes, You-Know-Who himself came from Slytherin. In the First Wizarding War, he promised to make wizards more important in society, put Muggles in their place, as well as Mudbloods and blood traitors. Most of his followers came from Slytherin because that's what most of us believe: pure-blooded wizards are above everyone else." He absentmindedly rubs the back of my hand with his thumb.

"So…do you think he'll try again to turn the Slytherins?" I ask. Now that I've brought it up, I don't want to stop talking about it. I want all of my questions answered.

"He might. But he's unpredictable. I mean, he came back from the dead, right?" Draco answers.

"If he does, are…will you…how will you side?"

His thumb freezes. He looks into my eyes. "I…I haven't thought about it honestly."

We're silent for another few minutes. "What do you think of him?"

"Well," he begins, "I fear him, as I think anyone with any lick of sense should. He's powerful…and a great wizard." His hand trembles slightly. "And…well, my family has always had a connection to him. My aunt is a Death Eater…"

"But what will _you_ do?" I prod.

He swallows. "I'll try to stay…as far away from him as possible…I don't know much about his followers…but I know that if you fail him…bad things happen. I'm not so sure I want to get mixed up in that…" He looks into the fire; the flames dance in his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"Would you believe me…if I told you that it was his followers…who have been hunting me?" I ask quietly.

His eyes dart to me. "What?" The same panic I have felt since I was ten is reflected in his voice. "Wh-why would…but…why?"

"I don't know…" I can't bring myself to tell him the truth. Now I'm wishing I would have backed out of the conversation earlier.

"But you said they've been hunting you since you were ten, right?" he asks quickly.

"Yes."

"Then they must have been acting on their own accord, right?" He sounds like he is trying to comfort himself just as much as he is trying to comfort me. "So it couldn't be You-Know-Who who wants you, could it? He's only just returned. Maybe…maybe they _were_ his followers, but maybe they weren't working under his orders?"

I don't have the heart to tell him that he is completely wrong. I smile. "You're probably right."

"And now that he is back, he probably has them doing other things…" he smiles at me, but it looks like a forced smile. "You'll be fine." He scoots across the floor and pulls me close to him. I rest my head against his chest.

"Thanks," I whisper.

"While you're here, no one can harm you," Draco reassures me quietly. "The charms around Hogwarts are magnificent. And as much as my father and I hate to admit it, Dumbledore is a very powerful wizard, as are most of the professors." He runs his hand through my hair. "My mother and father are quite skilled as well, so Christmas shouldn't be a problem. And while we're outside the Hogwarts grounds, I won't leave your side. Nothing's going to harm you, Charlotte," he kisses the top of my head, "not while I'm around. I'll do everything I can to protect you. And I'll get as many people to help me as necessary."

"I love you, Draco," I say to him, keeping my voice calm though all I want to do his shriek and cry for a while.

"I love you too, Charlotte."

I don't know how much time passes after that, but we eventually go back to our dorms. I hate saying goodnight to him, but we're both so tired that no conversation would be between us anyway. He kisses me swiftly on the lips before I ascend the stairs and go to bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

I enter the Room of Requirement for the last time until after the holidays. The thought of it being my last time for weeks brings an awful sadness that I have not felt in while. Ron glares at me.

Today, we are reviewing what we've already learned, to which the blond-headed boy (whose name I now know to be Zacharias Smith) shouts out, "We're not learning anything new? If I had known that, I wouldn't have come!"

"We're sorry no one told you," Fred says quite seriously.

"We'll practice in pairs," Harry announces. "We'll start with the Impediment Jinx until we can get the cushions out for the Stunning Spell again."

I laugh to myself about the review we're doing. It was these very two spells that Snape and I used against each other before school started. I end up being paired with Fred Weasley, which is odd because he usually pairs with George and I usually pair with Lee Jordan. Between shouting "_Impedimenta_!" at me, Fred chatters on. "What's with you and Malfoy?" Then I'm hit with the jinx and frozen just like when Snape hit me. Fred adds, "The two of you are so different. Sure, you're both Slytherin, but he's tool."

When I finally unfreeze and cast the jinx at him, I answer, "_Draco_," it frustrates me that everyone in the D.A. refers to him by his last name,_ "_and I love each other. We have our differences of course, but that doesn't mean we can't be together."

Fred unfreezes, hits me with jinx again, and continues talking, "Look around, Charlotte. How many other Slytherins do you see in here, huh?" He looks around as if actually searching for another Slytherin. "You're fighting with the other Houses, against Slytherin. Malfoy would die for Slytherin. That's a rather big difference if you ask me."

I unfreeze. "I didn't ask you."

That's the last thing we say to each other. We start working on the Stunning Spell. An hour later, Harry calls it quits. "I'm really proud of all you," he says. "You've all improved so much. After the holidays, we might start working on more difficult magic – maybe even Patonuses."

Excitement floods through me. I might actually be able to learn how to make a Patronus. I haven't tried since I made the non-corporeal one. But Draco has given me so many happy memories since then, I think I'll be able to make a corporeal one.

I leave the training session, elated. As I head back to the common room, the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan pass me. "Maybe you should have asked me," Fred says, but keeps walking, "I would have told you how much of a git he truly is." I don't have a chance to retort because he and his friends are gone too quickly.

I stand there for a minute, trying to calm myself when Ron and Hermione come out of the Room of Requirement. They stop when they see me. "What are you doing here?" Ron growls at me.

"I…I'm part of the D.A., remember?" I reply, keeping my voice even.

"As your King, you filthy Slytherin, I suggest you not come to these meetings anymore!" he snarls.

Then I realize why he's so upset with me. "Listen –"

"Shut up, you stupid git!" he interrupts me. "You're no better than Malfoy!" He whips his wand out and points it at me. "Which explains why you're dating him!"

"Ron," Hermione says reasonably.

He ignores her. "And that little bit about the Dark Mark," he says. "How did you know about that?"

"Ron," Hermione tries again.

"You have to admit that it's suspicious, Hermione," he replies, not removing his eyes from me.

"I can see how it would be," I tell him calmly, though I want to whip out my wand and attack him, "but you don't know the whole story. So, why don't you put down your wand, and I'll forget this ever happened?" I spin around and begin walking away.

"_Impedimenta_!" Ron shouts. I am hit with the spell and frozen. "I'm not finished with you yet!"

It takes a moment for me to unfreeze. Once I do, I take out my wand, turn, and shout, "_Locomotor Wibbly_!"

But at that moment, Hermione shouts, "_Protego_!" The Jelly-Legs Curse does not hit Ron.

"Letting your girlfriend fight your battles for you now, are we, Ron?" I sneer. Ron looks ready to fire off another spell at me, but I shout, "_Protego_!" Then I turn and leave.

* * *

Back in the Slytherin Dungeon, I find Draco working, again, on his history essay. I sit down beside him. "Where've you been?" he asks me. "I got back from practice almost an hour ago."

"Short practice," I reply. "I've been roaming around."

Draco puts his quill down and rolls up his parchment. "I figure I should give you fair warning," he says.

My heart almost stops. Does he know about the D.A.? Am I no longer invited to Malfoy Manor for Christmas? "About what?" I ask quietly.

"Well, the holidays last a couple of weeks," he answers, "which means you'll be with me and my family for that long outside of Hogwarts." I nod at him. "And that means you'll also be with my aunt for that long as well."

"Okay…" I don't know what he's trying to say.

"I thought I should let you know…Azkaban had a great effect on her. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's always been a little…out there. But the dementors took their toll…and, well, Mum says she's a bit…high-strung now." He fidgets around. "Not that she's completely insane…but she may come off a bit weird…"

"That's fine," I say in the best upbeat voice I can manage. "Plenty of weird people came through the orphanage…"

Draco takes my hand. "I just thought you should know…that if she goes off, just ignore it." Then he adds quickly, "She won't hurt you. I mean, she still cares about me and my family, and so she'll care about you too. I just want you to be prepared for when you _do_ meet her."

"Well…thanks for letting me know," I say. I don't know how to reply to all of this. He seems genuinely worried about me meeting his Aunt Bellatrix. But, I can't really blame her for being a little…crazy…if Azkaban is as bad as they say. I desperately want to change the subject. If Azkaban can wreck someone's mind, there's no telling what could have happened to my mother before she found death's release and was freed from that place.

He must see the look on my face because he says, "Let's talk about something else. I just wanted to forewarn you." He stands. "We have almost an hour until official curfew. Let's go somewhere." He pulls me to my feet and leads me from the Slytherin common room.

Draco takes me to the Astronomy Tower, which is empty besides the few telescopes used for class. I look out over the grounds of Hogwarts. Although Hogwarts isn't where I really want to be, I admit that it is a beautiful place. Snow covers the ground, and the moonlight bounces off it, giving the place a very surreal and calming feeling. The stars play peek-a-boo behind thin, rolling clouds. The Black Lake, now frozen over, looks inviting, despite it being ice.

Draco takes my hands and puts them on his shoulders. He puts his own hands on my hips and begins to move us to a silent song. His eyes, reflecting the soft light given by the snow and the moon, look grayer than usual…and more joyful. He takes one of my hands and spins me around, then pulls me back against him. "Can I tell you something?" he asks quietly. His eyes don't leave mine.

"Of course," I answer.

He smiles at me. "These four months at Hogwarts, with you, have been better than the past four years here without you."

I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and rest my head against his chest. I feel him rest his head against the top of mine. "I love you," I tell him.

"I love you too."

I look up at him and smile before pressing my lips against his. He pries my mouth open with his lips. I don't stop him.

Suddenly he freezes and pulls away. "Did you hear that?" he says frantically.

We rush to the door and dash down the stairs, only to stop at the bottom and peak around the corner. There is a commotion coming from down the corridor. Draco and I quietly make our way over there, lurking around each turn to make sure we aren't seen. "Potter?" he whispers.

I look around him and see Professor McGonagall escorting Harry to the gargoyle statue I know leads to Dumbledore's office. Harry is shaking, and we can see the sweat shining on him from the torchlight all the way over here. Ron is with him. I can't hear the password McGonagall shouts to the gargoyle, but they quickly head up to the headmaster's office. A few moments later, McGonagall comes back down and dashes away and soon returns with the other Weasley children, who she then escorts up to the headmaster's office.

McGonagall comes down alone, and Draco pulls me forward, leading me toward McGonagall. We stick to the shadows and see McGonagall stop Umbridge in the corridor. I strain to listen to what McGonagall says, but I'm sure she's lying. Something has happened; I just don't know what, and whatever is being told to Umbridge won't help me figure it out. Then I hear Umbridge call, "Who's there?" She's looking right at me and Draco. I could have sworn we were hidden in the shadows. "Who's there?" her voice floats toward us.

Without another choice, I go toward her, pulling Draco with me. "What are you doing?" he whispers to me.

"Improvising," I reply quietly.

"What are you doing out of bed?" McGonagall asks us.

"I can handle this, Minerva," Umbridge interrupts her. She looks at us expectantly. "Well, answer the question."

McGonagall's lips thin out. She's trying to keep something from Umbridge. "There's an emergency," I tell the High Inquisitor. "We were sent to find you." I see McGonagall's face drop, but she recovers before Umbridge notices.

"By whom?" Umbridge asks impatiently.

"Professor Snape," I answer swiftly.

She continues to look at me, waiting for me to go on. I don't offer any information. As far as I'm concerned, McGonagall needed time, and I'm doing my best to give it to her. Finally, Umbridge asks us, showing great difficulty at keeping her voice calm, "Well, what's happened?"

"There…there," my mind is scrambling for a good reason for needing her. "There was a stray curse, professor. It cracked the glass in the common room. Water is flooding in. Professor Snape is doing everything he can, but it seems that the curse…" I swallow, hoping Umbridge doesn't see through my lie. "It won't fix."

"In the Slytherin common room, you said?" Umbridge asks.

"Yes, we must go there immediately," I reply.

Umbridge looks at Draco. "Is this true?"

I squeeze Draco's hand. "I…I don't know, professor," he answers. "I was wandering through the castle…"

"But she said that both of you were sent to find me," Umbridge argues.

"Well…" Draco seems to be scrambling for a lie, too. "Well…I…Charlotte found me and didn't want me to get into trouble, so she said we were both sent."

Umbridge glares at both of us. "Come along," she turns and starts making her way to the Slytherin Dungeon.

I chance a glance at McGonagall. I shake my head at her, trying to tell her the whole thing is a lie. She looks disapproving, but then gives me a quick smile and a small nod. As I turn the corner, I glance back over my shoulder to see McGonagall go back to the headmaster's office.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to Draco.

"No worries," he answers. "Just explain it later."

I brace myself for the hell I'm bound to pay when Umbridge realizes it was all a lie.

* * *

**I would have made the confrontation longer, but I feel that Charlotte would not have put up with dueling over something like that, which is why she ended it so quickly then left. Sorry if it disappointed you. There will be a few more before everything is straightened out though:)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi everyone! Malfoy Manor is soo close! I can't wait for all of you to read those chapter! Soooo much happens :) There's one more after this one until Charlotte meets Bellatrix (that'll be in chapter 17!) **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter**

* * *

**Luutje19: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Snape becomes extremely important really soon. I hope your still reading it up to this point! Holland? Wow, well I'm in America...so, greetings from America!**

**Dolceconbrio: I'm planning on a way that she can straighten everything out. I think you'll enjoy that scene, but it won't be until after the Christmas holidays are over and everyone returns to Hogwarts. Her punishment is in this chapter! And yeah, Draco was definitely trying to comfort himself. Thanks:) I enjoy people telling me that my writing was good! The Bellatrix scenes are going to be pretty intense;) That's all I can say about that... I'm impressed about the piano thing. I tried, but didn't have the willpower. I applaude anyone that can play an instrument. It takes a lot of work**

**ceb521: Then you'll enjoy this chapter! It was pretty stupid on her part, but she felt like she had to help. That's the way that she is, you know? So, yeah...it was stupid, but she didn't see that she had much of a choice...**

**CHAPTER 15**

As we descend to the dungeons, Umbridge a few feet in front of us, I say to Draco, "Let me take the blame for this. It's my fault. I caused this. I should've let McGonagall handle it."

"You didn't cause this!" he argues. "I was the one who suggested we leave the common room knowing full well we would get back late!"

"But I was the one who lied to Umbridge in the first place! You just followed my lead!" I counter.

"I'm going to tell her the truth," he says.

I grab his upper arm. "Please don't, Draco," I beg. "I'm not even a real student here, so my reputation doesn't matter. Yours does. Please…"

After staring at me for a few moments, he nods. "Okay."

I lean against him as we walk. "Thank you."

"I believe I have a dance to finish with you," Draco whispers.

"I believe you do," I agree.

Draco takes my hand. "Meet me in the ballroom in my parents' house on Christmas Eve."

"Will do."

Sure enough, when we finally reach the Slytherin Dungeon, Umbridge's face goes red. She turns on me. "You lied to me."

I swallow. I knew this was coming, but it still terrifies me now that it's here.

"Both of you," Umbridge says. "And you will both be punished accordingly."

"Professor," I reply, "Draco had nothing to do with it. It was all me." I can't let him get in trouble on my behalf. He starts to say something, but I squeeze his hand as hard as I can without drawing attention to it, willing him to remain quiet. He does.

"What were you trying to hide from me?" she asks coldly. "What was going on in Dumbledore's office?"

"I don't know," I say truthfully.

Umbridge smiles sweetly at me. "Detention. My office." I move to go up to the dormitories, but she stops me. "Did you not hear me, Miss Rodgers?"

"You said I had detention," I answer, biting back my anger. "So I was going to get a good night's sleep before I have to…endure…whatever is to come."

"You misunderstand me," Umbridge says, her voice still ominously sweet. "There is only one day left of term. You will be leaving for the holidays tomorrow, yes?" I nod. "Then you are to come serve your detention tonight. I will not let you weasel your way out of detention on a sheer technicality."

I glance at Draco, whose face has gone pale. "Okay." I nod a goodbye to Draco and follow Umbridge to her office. I've heard a few rumors about her detentions. I sit in the desk that is already set up. She hands me a quill and a piece of parchment. "What am I to write?" I ask between gritted teeth.

"_I must not tell lies_," she answers. If the rumors are true, this is the same phrase that Harry carved into his hand earlier in the term. She must really hate lies. Or she knows that it is one of the more degrading things to have carved into your skin. When seen, it automatically makes it seem that you lie a lot. Which I do. So it shouldn't bother me this much, but it does. I start writing.

Each time I write the sentence, the pain intensifies, the cut digging deeper and deeper into my skin. I gnaw on my inner cheek and my tongue to keep from making noises of pain; I dig my nails into my thigh; I do almost anything to keep her from having the satisfaction of my pain. I just keep thinking to myself, "I've experience worse," and it helps me get through the pain.

Finally, I hear Umbridge say, "You may go."

I look up, hardly able to keep my eyes open. I set the quill down and leave her office.

I slowly make my way back to the dormitories. Glancing at the alarm clock, I realize why I can barely stay awake. It's nearly four in the morning. I fall onto my bed without even a chance for a thought to find its way across my mind before I'm out like a light.

* * *

Rather than having a good last day of classes, I am miserable. Getting only three hours of sleep doesn't bode well with me. I sit completely still, zoning in and out of comprehension the whole next day. On many occasions, Draco has to violently shake me to bring me back to the land of the living. "How late were you in her office last night?" he asks me during Transfiguration. "I tried staying up, but I couldn't. I went to bed around two."

"I got back around four," I tell him absently, glancing down at my hand that I had bandaged. My stories is that I had smashed into one of the knight statues on my way back to the Slytherin House.

"I'm so sorry," he says quietly. "I should've…I should've…"

"There was nothing you could do," I assure him.

"Rodgers," McGonagall calls across the room, "see me after class."

I remain seated when Draco stands to leave, promising to save me a seat in Potions. I watch him walk out of the room. When everyone has cleared out, I stand and walk up to McGonagall's desk. She motions for me to sit in one of the front seats. "Yes, professor?" I yawn, covering my mouth.

"What were you doing out of bed last night?" she asks.

For some reason, I doubt this is truly what she wants to know, but that she is just building up to her real questions. Still, I answer truthfully, "Draco and I were just spending time together out of the prying eyes of the other students."

"Where did you go?" is her next question.

My eyes dart away from her. I don't want to tell her; I know the Astronomy Tower is typically off-limits to students. But I don't want to lie to her. I've kept enough from her already, and I hold her at a high esteem. I take a deep breath and look back at her. "The Astronomy Tower," I say.

She doesn't seem angry, like I had feared. "At what point did you come down and find me with Professor Umbridge?"

"Well," I answer, clearing my throat, "Draco and I were dancing –"

"I don't need to know the details of your…date," McGonagall interrupts me. "That is not important right now."

"Draco heard something, and we left the Tower straightaway. We saw you taking Harry and Ron to Professor Dumbledore's office," I answer. Her lips become thin again. "Harry didn't look well." I fidget with the bandage on my hand. "We saw you come back down and return with the other Weasleys. When you came down by yourself the second time, we followed you until you began talking to Umbridge. And, well…you know what happened after that."

"When you went with Umbridge to the Slytherin Dungeons, what happened?"

I swallow down the lump in my throat. My hand begins burning again. "I was given detention."

"What about Mr. Malfoy?"

"He had nothing to do with the lie I told Umbridge. I told him not to stop me. I took full blame," I explain.

"When is your detention? Term ends today. You're going with Mr. Malfoy for Christmas, correct?" she replies.

"Yes, professor," I answer. "It was last night. That's why I didn't focus much in your class today – sorry about that, by the way. It didn't end until four this morning."

McGonagall's face drops.

"It's okay though," I say quickly. "Like you said, term ends today, so I can rest up over the holiday." I give her a half-hearted smile.

We both fall into silence.

"Do you know what you were given detention for?" she finally asks.

"Yeah," I laugh. What kind of question is that? "I lied to Umbridge."

"No, Rodgers," McGonagall responds. "Do you know why you lied? What was being hidden?"

"Well, I could tell that you needed to distract Umbridge. And the lie just kind of…came to me," I answer. "I don't know what was going on. I saw an opportunity to help, and I took it."

McGonagall nods at me. "Tell no one," she begins. "Mr. Weasley – I believe you know the Weasleys – was attacked. We were getting the Weasley children to St. Mungo's as fast as possible. Umbridge would not have let them leave until term officially ended."

"And Harry looked so…ill…because…he saw it, didn't he? He saw what was going to happen?" I ask.

"Something like that."

"What attacked Mr. Weasley?" I ask.

McGonagall looks as if she's not going to answer. "A snake, Rodgers," she finally says. "A rather large snake."

And with that short answer, McGonagall unknowingly provided me with the information I need: The attack was orchestrated by Voldemort. Voldemort is doing something. What that something is, I don't know. But it means he's getting stronger every day. "Thank you, professor," I say shakily.

"Rodgers," she says as I reach the door. I turn. "Is there something…that you want to talk about? That you wish to tell me?"

I shake my head. "No, professor." I reach for the door again.

"If you change your mind," she calls to me, "my door is open."

"Thanks." I dart from the room, feeling more nauseated than I did carving into my hand.

Contrary to what I thought would happen, Snape doesn't give me a second glance when I enter his class late, doesn't even acknowledge my presence, which is good because it means I'm not in trouble. I take my spot next to Draco. "What was that about?" he asks me.

"She wanted to make sure I was okay," I lie.

I brew a potion without really thinking about, just going through the motions. As I turned in my vial for the day, Snape says, "Stay after class, Rodgers." My head drops. I really just want to go back to bed and sleep for a little while. But I stay. I close my eyes and listen as everyone files out of the room. "I spoke with Professor Umbridge."

His voice startles me, causing me to jump. He smirks. The room is completely empty except for me and Snape. "What'd she say?" I ask, knowing exactly what she had said.

"I think you could take a pretty good guess," he replies.

"I'm sure I could too," I say groggily. He doesn't reply. I realize my eyes are shut again and quickly open them. "What's this about?" I sigh. "I'm not going to sit here in silence…"

"Next time you concoct a lie, Rodgers, leave me out of it."

I stand to my feet. "Is that all?" When he doesn't answer, I leave the room and go to my bed.

A few hours later, I trudge into the Study of Ancient Runes and take a seat next to Hermione. Her eyes are red and puffy. She's obviously been crying. "You okay?" I whisper.

She silently nods.

Sighing, I turn to face her, "Hermione," I say. She looks at me. "I know what happened."

Her mouth falls open a little. "How?"

"Well…last night Draco and I were wandering through the castle," which is only a partial lie, "and we saw McGonagall lead Harry and Ron to Dumbledore's office. Then she went and got Ginny, Fred, and George," I inform her. "Draco and I led Umbridge away so she wouldn't find out that Dumbledore had let them leave."

"You…you and…Draco?" Hermione stammers. "Draco…as in Draco Malfoy?"

"He doesn't know what happened," I answer quickly. "McGonagall told me earlier."

"She…she told you?"

"Yeah, I led Umbridge away from McGonagall so she could go back to Dumbledore. She was letting me know what I got detention for…" Hermione looks confused. "I was punished for lying to Umbridge. Had detention till four this morning." I show her my bandaged hand.

"You did that…for Ron and his family?" she asks.

"Yes." I look her in the eye. "Tell the Weasleys I'm thinking about them. I know you'll be spending Christmas with them. Wish them a Happy Christmas for me."

"Why would you do something like that? You're a Slytherin," she says darkly. "I mean, I know Ron is you King and all, but I don't see why you would care that much."

"I wasn't really involved in that, Hermione," I reply. "You have to believe me."

"I don't 'have' to do anything, Charlotte. You wore the badge, you sang along –"

"I didn't sing along! I didn't even know about the song until they started singing!" I interject. "I didn't know what it was about! Draco gave be a badge, and I put it on!"

"Well, now you know what kind of company you keep, don't you?" she answers coldly.

"Hermione –"

"I'm done discussing this. You should not have worn the badge. You should have known that no good was going to come from it."

I don't say anything else.

The rest of the day passes uneventfully. Even Defense Against the Dark Arts goes by quickly. Umbridge hides her hatred of me very well, but when no one is looking, I can find her glaring at me.

After a quick dinner, I pack my things and carry them down to the Slytherin common room. Draco is already there waiting for me. "Ready?" he asks me.

"I can hardly wait," I reply.

Draco and I, along with all the students who are going home for the Christmas holidays, load ourselves into the Hogwarts Express, leaving behind all of four students. Once we're in the compartment, Draco says to me, "Remember what I told you about my aunt?"

"Of course," I say sleepily. "Why?"

"'Cause we'll be seeing her in a few hours…and I wanted to make sure you're still prepared," he answers quietly.

"I'm excited." After that, we don't talk much. I curl up beside him and rest my head on his shoulder, willingly letting sleep consume me.

* * *

Draco leads me off the Hogwarts Express. He has told me that we'll go through Platform 9¾, which sounds rather odd. I don't know much about train stations, but I'm fairly certain they only use whole numbers. We walk through the wall at the afore stated platform (I was desperately wrong about there not being a Platform 9¾) and step into King's Cross. I recognize the train station. I would come here after my escape from the orphanage, hoping someone would claim me. A snowball had better odds of surviving in hell, but I was young and irrational.

I see Narcissa Malfoy standing not too far away. We make eye contact. She slightly pales when she sees my hand in her son's hand. Nevertheless, she rushes toward us. "Draco!" she rejoices, taking him into her arms.

"Mum!" He returns her hug then turns toward me. "Mother, this is Charlotte, the girl I've told you about."

"You didn't tell me it was Charlotte _Rodgers_," Narcissa says.

"You know each other?" he asks.

"We've met…once," Narcissa answers.

"Mrs. Malfoy," I greet her.

She smiles. "Please, call me Narcissa."

"Mrs. Narcissa," I reply. Draco chuckles.

"Just Narcissa is fine," she keeps her voice cheery.

I offer her my hand. "Narcissa."

"How are we getting home?" Draco asks. "Did Father get the Ministry cars again?"

"Yes," Narcissa answers. "Follow me."

Draco lifts my bag and swings it onto his shoulder. Then he takes my hand in his, and we follow his mother out of the station. We stop in front of a sleek, black car. It's been charmed, for when we climb into the back, there is still enough room to fit at least five others with us. "When did the two of you meet?" Draco asks when the car begins its journey to Malfoy Manor.

I glance at Narcissa. "I ran into her before the start of term in Diagon Alley. I needed help finding some of the required books." I look at Draco and smile. "Your mother is a lifesaver."

"No, no," Narcissa interjects. "She was doing just fine before I found her. I hardly did anything."

"You're being modest, Narcissa," I laugh. "I would have stood no chance without her."

Narcissa rolls her eyes in a joking manner. I find it odd how quickly she adjusted to my lie. Then again, adjusting to lies is pretty much a required skill of Death Eaters. "How did the two of you meet?" Narcissa directs the question at me. "Draco never really told me in his letters." She winks at her son.

"I was at Hogwarts two weeks before any of the other students arrived," I begin. "I'm a transfer student from Durmstrang, remember?"

"Oh, yes," Narcissa exclaims, "now that you mention I do remember you mentioning that in Diagon Alley."

"I was sorted in Slytherin. Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle were the first Slytherins to get to the Great Hall, so that's who I introduced myself to," I continue.

"It was a meeting that will forever have changed my life," Draco adds, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. I suspect that he thinks I'm nervous.

I reach up and pull the necklace that had been Draco's gift to me out from my shirt collar (we changed to Muggle clothes before we got off the train). "Thank you so much for the gift, Narcissa," I say, holding the pendant in my palm. "It's gorgeous. I love it."

Narcissa stiffens at the sight of the necklace. It's obvious that she doesn't want me to have it. "I'm glad you like it." I wonder if Draco hears the strain in her voice. When the car finally stops, Narcissa says before getting out rather quickly, "I need to have a word with Lucius. I'll meet up with you both later. Draco, show her to the guest room."

"Which one?" he calls after her.

"Third floor, last on the left!" Narcissa shouts over her shoulder. "It's been set up for her!"

Draco leads me toward the manor. "That went well," he says happily.

I can't help but think the exact opposite.

* * *

**How do you think that meeting went, huh? Drama awaits at Malfoy Manor :)**

**Let me know what you thought of the chapter! I know her punishment didn't have a big section...but how can you describe hours of carving into your hand? There's only so much you can do...sorry about that**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks to all of those who have been reading and have followed/favorite my story! That means so much to me! I'm really excited about this chapter. It leads up to one of my favorite parts (I can't wait till all of you can read it! I'll post it tomorrow!)**

* * *

**Holton23S: Thanks for the follow!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for the follow and the favorite! I'm glad you like my story! And hope you're still reading it up to this point:) I tried making it as original as possible. I didn't want to throw another character into the Harry Potter series as an addition to the Golden Trio, you know?**

**gemma jane smith: You can always make a "gmail" account. It's really easy. I hope you enjoy the story and that you're still reading it now:)**

**guest: I could easily delete your review, but I'm not going to. I imagine you being no more than a 12 year boy, because anyone educated higher than middle school knows that in order to make a comment so cliché as "you suck" needs to have some kind of backing to it. The fact that you read ALL 15 chapters before reviewing and saying "you suck" means that, A) you have no life and therefore wasted your time on a story you didn't like to begin with, or B) you're a troll who just reviews random things. You should have some kind of evidence to throw at me after 15 chapters if you indeed thought I did "suck"**

**Dolceconbrio: Yeah, I thought it would totally be like her to assign detention that quickly. I thought about making Snape angrier, but then I realized he wouldn't have cared much since he's part of the Order and therefore would have been pleased to know that another member of the Order had been saved. He just had to make her feel that he wasn't happy with it. I would've said more about the detention, but the chapter was getting longer than usual. And I figured the detention wasn't really worth having paragraphs about it considering all she did was carve into her hand. I guess it makes sense that you wouldn't mind spending the time on playing an instrument if you enjoy playing it. I spend a lot of time writing, but it doesn't feel like it because I enjoy it:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 16**

Draco and I walk up a large path that leads to the gigantic house, Malfoy Manor. It reminds me of a smaller version of Hogwarts, but without the castle feel to it. It's obviously the home of wealthy people, and a hard thought to process about these wealthy people is that I am in love with one of them. Going from almost nothing to the prospect of so much is almost unfathomable.

When I take my first look inside Malfoy Manor, the breath is knocked out of me. Never in my life have I seen a family live in a more prestigious home.

The parlor itself is larger than many of the houses I've stayed in. Draco leads me to the grand staircase that has two branches leading to the farther levels. Before we reach the stairs, he points to a room on our right. The French doors are open, revealing a room with hardwood floors, much different than the stone floors and the marble floors that I can see around the manor. "That's the ballroom," he comments. "When the house was built, dancing was popular, extremely popular. We don't use it much unless my mother and father throw a party, which is rare as of late."

I don't ask why this is. We go to the third floor and walk down the hallway to the last door on the left. "This is where you will be staying," Draco tells me as he opens the door.

Again, I lose my breath. The room is stone. In the middle of it is a large cast-iron bed, a bed much too large for one person. I could easily fit three of myself in there and still have loads of elbowroom. A large rectangular black rug is under the bed, probably so the iron and stone do not harm each other. The sheets on the bed are shiny silver. The pillows are black. There is a door that leads to the restroom and another that conceals a large closet. The rest of the furniture in the room is a very light-colored wood. I walk over to the bed and rub my hands across the sheets. They're silk.

"I think you'll be comfortable here," Draco tells me, a smile in his voice.

"It's wonderful!" I go to him and wrap my arms around him.

"My parents' room is on the second floor, and my aunt's is in the basement," he says casually.

"What about yours?" I ask him.

"Down the hall," he answers. "Come on. I'll show you."

Draco takes me to the opposite end of the hallway and opens the last door. His room is considerably larger than the guest room, which is probably the norm with wealthy families. His room is set up in Slytherin colors. It looks a lot like the guest room except the furniture is a black wood as opposed to the lighter wood in the other room. There are three windows overlooking a garden and a frozen lake behind the house; over the lake I can see the faint light peeking into the sky. The sun has already set, but I can see where it had once been. Draco points to the garden, "I'm going to teach you how to fly over there. That's where my father taught me."

"This place is…magnificent," I say to him.

"It's been in the family for generations," he replies.

He leads me from his room down to the drawing room where his parents are. Lucius Malfoy turns around. "Charlotte," he greets me.

"Mr. Malfoy," I reply.

"Lucius," he reprimands me. "Call me Lucius."

"Bellatrix is away," Narcissa tells Draco. "She won't be here until tomorrow evening." She looks at me. "Bellatrix is my sister, Draco's aunt." I nod to her. "I take it the two of you ate at Hogwarts before you left?"

"Yes, Mum," Draco answers.

"If you need anything, the house-elves will be more than happy to help. And we'll be down here if you need us," Narcissa states. We nod to her and go back to the guest room in which I will be staying.

We light the torches. "I think my mother likes you," Draco announces when we sit down on the bed.

"Really?" I ask skeptically.

"Of course," he replies. "She wouldn't have told you that you were allowed to ask the house-elves for help – or even tell you where to find _her_ for that matter – if she didn't." He reaches for my hand but stops when he feels the bandage. "Does that hurt still?"

"A little, but its' faded a bit," I answer truthfully.

His eyes light up. "Hang on a minute!" He dashes from the room and returns a few minutes later. "I asked Professor Snape if he had any of this. I didn't tell him what I needed it for of course." He holds up a jar of some type of potion. "It's Murtlap Essence." He waves his wand and summons a bowl, probably from the kitchen. He empties the jar into the bowl. "Put your hand in it. Snape said it soothed cuts."

I dip my hand into the potion and instantly feel relieved. I sigh of relief escapes me.

"I take that as it worked?" he laughs. I nod silently and close my eyes. "It was Umbridge, right? That's not a random cut from hitting the knight statue, is it?"

"No, it's not," I answer. "She used a quill that writes in blood, the blood of the writer. It carved the line I was writing into my hand."

He looks down at it and shakes his head. "I shouldn't have let you take the blame…" he looks up at me, sorrow and shame in his eyes. "What can I do to help?"

I smile. "Get some tea?"

"Cosmo!" he commands. With a _crack!_, a little house elf appears beside the bed. "Bring us some tea…" he looks at me. "Sugar, too?" I nod. "And some sugar."

"Yes, Master Draco," his voice is not as high as Dobby's was, but is still just as squeaky. Then he disappears again.

"How many house elves do you have?" I ask him.

"We have four left," he answers. "We had five, but Potter found a way to free one of them…" Contempt seeps out of him as he says this. "But it doesn't matter. The rest of them picked up the slack."

Cosmo the house elf returns with a tray of steaming tea, places it on the table beside the bed, and asks, "Is there anything else Cosmo can get Master Draco and his friend?"

"That'll be all, Cosmo," Draco answers. The little elf disappears again. "Have you ever seen a house elf?"

"Yes, when I was at Hogwarts by myself, I would have them bring me food," I answer swiftly.

Draco grabs the tea tray and puts it between us on the bed. We add our sugar and stir it. I take a big whiff of mine before I drink it. I haven't had tea in a while. At Hogwarts, I stick to colder drinks. I take a sip. Warmth fills me. "This is great," I comment. Draco doesn't answer. "Where do you think your aunt is?"

He looks up. "Probably doing something for the Dark Lord, but there's no telling, really," he answers. "It's a shame you have to wait until tomorrow to meet her. You'll just have to keep your guard up for a while. And never go anywhere without me…"

"Why is that?" I ask. "What if I want to avoid you?" I smile at him.

"You can do so at your own risk!" he laughs. He quickly becomes serious again, "If she thinks you're invading Malfoy Manor, she won't take it lightly."

"Will she kill me?" I ask quietly.

"She'll use the Cruciatus Curse on you. It's one of her…specialties…" he replies.

I shudder. I've read about the Cruciatus Curse; I never want to experience that. "Then I won't leave your side, will I?" We finish our tea a few minutes later. "Will she have any reason to come up here?" I wave my hands around to let him know I am referring to the room. "Will she find me in here and…and Cruciate me?"

"I…I don't know…" he says slowly. He gingerly takes my empty teacup from my hand and puts it on the empty tray. "Cosmo!" The little elf appears. "Take this." Draco hands him the tray. Then Cosmo leaves again. Draco looks back at me with dark eyes. "There's no telling what Bellatrix will or will not do…" Draco takes my shaky hand in his. "I won't leave you."

Just like he promised, when night comes around, Draco opens the bedroom door, his silhouette motioning me to him. I crawl out of the bed and follow him to his room. "You're sure this okay?" I whisper to him.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I'd hate for her to find you and freak out…" he answers.

He opens his bedroom door, and we enter. Draco closes the door behind us. "What side of the bed do you sleep on?" I ask him. "I don't want to take your side."

He chuckles. "It doesn't matter."

I tiptoe over to the side closest to the restroom. Hopping onto the bed, I quickly throw the silk blankets over me and sit against the headboard. I realize then just how loud I had been. Draco laughs. "I'm cold," I tell him, trying to explain why I had caused such a commotion while covering my freezing legs.

He wriggles himself under the blankets and slides over to me. "Do you want me to start a fire?" he asks, motioning to the fireplace in his room that I had not noticed the first time I'd been in here.

"No, no, I think I'll be okay," I answer.

Draco laces his fingers through mine. We don't speak for a few minutes. We sit next to each other in silence.

Finally, he says, "I love you, Charlotte."

"I love you, Draco," I reply.

He turns his head to me and puts his free hand on the back of my neck. He leans down and kisses me. Together, we slide farther into the sheets. Draco rolls himself on top of me. I wrap my legs around his waist. His hand rubs up and down my thigh. I slip my hands under his shirt, running my hands along his bare chest. He moves his lips to my neck, then my collarbone. "Wait," I say swiftly. He freezes. "Wait."

He props himself up on his elbows. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head. "I can't do this…" Voldemort would kill him if he found out Draco had slept with me. As much as I want Draco right now, I can't risk him that way. But I can't tell him why I had to stop him. "I can't do this…" I repeat.

Draco leans down and kisses my forehead. "Okay," he answers, trying hard to keep the strain out of his voice. He rolls onto his back.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.

"It's fine." He sounds frustrated, but I don't comment.

I rest my head against his chest, throwing my arm over his stomach. He puts his arm around me. I fall asleep listening to the steady beating of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest my only comfort in the darkness.

* * *

Draco and I don't speak about what had almost happened last night. It's almost as if it never had. Throughout the day, he constantly tries to reassure me that Bellatrix won't hurt me; I've been panicking nearly all day. I don't want to meet any more Death Eaters, especially not ones that spent nearly fifteen years in Azkaban. To keep my mind off things, Draco had given me a tour of the manor and the grounds, but I don't remember any of it. Nothing could distract me from my inevitable meeting with Bellatrix Lestrange.

Now Draco and I sit next to each other in the large dining room, waiting for dinner. It's the first time since I've been here that we've all sat down together (me, Draco, Narcissa, and Lucius) to spend any time together.

"Lucius," I say finally, breaking the silence that has been looming over us for nearly ten minutes. He looks up. I show him the necklace that he had given to Narcissa and that Draco had given to me. "You have great taste in jewelry."

"Oh, yes, well," he mutters, "my mother had a voice in that particular piece of jewelry."

"It's beautiful," I reply. "Where did you find it?"

"My mother…" he says, "it was hers before she gave it to me to give to Narcissa." He takes hold of his wife's hand. "Of course," he adds, a distinct hint of judgment in his voice, "I had known Narcissa more than four months, and she had met my family, and I had met hers before I gave it to her." He looks between me and Draco. "Tell me about your family, Charlotte."

"Well," I begin. I proceed to tell him about my father's abandonment of my mother and me, my mother's imprisonment in Azkaban, me being taken in by my Uncle Al, Uncle Al abandoning me in the orphanage, my escape from the orphanage (without mentioning being a Metamorphmagus), me finding Uncle Al's place and learning of his death, and me living on my own for five years and protecting myself until I was found. Lucius doesn't question how I was captured. He doesn't want Draco to know about his involvement in my capture.

"Did you inherit anything from you great-uncle?" this question comes from Narcissa. "Anything by which you can remember him?"

"Nothing much, really," I answer quietly. "He had been disowned from his family, and therefore most of his fortune had been lost. I found a bag of gold and a pocket watch." I am ashamed of how pathetic that sounds. The Malfoys have never lacked anything, and here I am with almost nothing to my name.

"Do you know your family heritage?" Lucius asks.

"No. The pocket watch had a family crest on it, but I can't read what it says…"

"Would you like to know?" Narcissa asks. "Our family is well-connected in the wizarding world. We might recognize something about the emblem."

Joy floods over me. I might actually find out who I am! "Yes," I breathe, "yes please!"

Draco reaches into his pocket and pulls out the item in question. "Oh," Lucius comments quite rudely, "I see you, too, give away precious family heirlooms to someone you hardly know…"

"Lucius!" Narcissa scolds. My face flares red; I can feel it. Draco hands over the pocket watch, his face redder than usual too. Before she even looks at it, there is a loud _pop!_ and a woman appears beside the table. I know who this is. I am looking into the face of Bellatrix Lestrange.

* * *

**Tomorrow you will be able to see the meeting! I'm so excited about this next chapter!**

**Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Reviews are appreciated!**


	17. Chapter 17

**This is the chapter that I have been _dying_ to have you all read! Charlotte finds out who her family is! And she meets Bellatrix!**

**Thanks to all those who are reading!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Hi, thanks for the review:) That's what I thought when I was writing it. Hogwarts is described in the books, and I didn't want to go against the Canon on that point, but Malfoy Manor is not really described much. I thought it would make everything seem more realistic if I described the place. The Narcissa thing will remain questionable for a while;) The way the Death Eaters view Charlotte is answered in the beginning of this chapter. Writing the part about Charlotte's family has been one of my favorites! I'm so excited to reveal it:) I tried not to use Cosmo's name so much, but then it said "he" too much and that made it confusing because Draco was there and doing things. I'm really sorry about that.**

**ceb521: Hi, thanks for the review. All of your questions will be answered in this chapter:) And yeah, Bellatrix loves Voldemort. I didn't change that. I can't wait for you to read this next chapter!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 17**

"Draco!" Bellatrix gasps, rushing toward him, "my beautiful nephew!" She takes him into her arms. Then she puts her hands on either side of his face. "Oh, how you've grown!"

"Aunt Bella," he replies.

"Cissy!" Bellatrix says, keeping her hands on Draco's face but turning her head to see Narcissa. "You didn't tell me how handsome he's become!" She smiles back at Draco. "Last time I saw you, you were hardly over a year old!" The Azkaban escapee wraps Draco up in a tight hug again. For the first time, Bellatrix notices me. "Who is this?"

"This is Charlotte Rodgers," Draco answers, "my –"

Bellatrix pushes past Draco. "_The _Charlotte Rodgers?" she breathes. "I've heard much about you, Charlotte."

"Really?" I ask. I can't tell if it is a good or bad thing that she's heard much about me.

"Oh, yes," she says proudly. "All of the Death Eaters know who you are, Miss Rodgers."

I glance at Draco. He has gone white. "Really?" I squeak.

Bellatrix walks around the table and sits across from me. "I have been dying to meet you."

"How do you know about Charlotte?" Draco asks. His hand has found mine and is holding it tightly.

"Oh, my dear Draco!" Bellatrix exclaims. "Every Death Eater knows who she is!"

I squeeze Draco's hand, trying to tell him to stop asking questions. He doesn't get the message. "Why would Death Eaters care about sixteen-year-old witch?" he questions.

"How long have you known each other?" Bellatrix replies.

"Four months," Draco answers.

Bellatrix looks to Lucius and Narcissa. "You've not told him?" she asks accusingly. "How close would you say the two of you are, Draco?" She is now watching Draco intently.

"Well," Draco is smiling, "I would say we are extremely close," I silently will him not to continue, but he does, "I mean, we have been dating for nearly four months now…"

Bellatrix's face flares with fury. Flying to her feet, she slams her hand on the table, causing all the plates and cups to rattle. "YOU WHAT?" she screams. Her voice sends fear through my very veins. She points a condemning finger at me. "YOU'VE NOT TOLD HIM?"

"Told me what?" Draco asks.

Bellatrix's head darts back to me, her eyes piercing and full of hate. Then she looks back at Draco. "Your dear _girlfriend_," she sneers, "is to bear the Dark Lord a child!"

Draco releases my hand and looks at me with sorrow and betrayal etched into his features. "You what?" he croaks. "Why haven't you told me?"

"Draco," I plead, my own voice cracking, "it's not like that! I don't want to have Voldemort's child! I would rather die!"

"YOU DARE SPEAK THE DARK LORD'S NAME?" Bellatrix shrieks. "YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN THE GREATEST PRIVILEGE ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR! YET YOU SIT THERE AND ACT LIKE IT IS NOTHING?"

I try to catch Narcissa's eye, searching for any help I can possibly get, but she is looking at the pocket watch, pale-faced. I look back at Draco. I can't blame him for not looking at me. I should have told him. Then I look back at Bellatrix. "It's not a 'privilege!' It's a curse!" I shout.

"YOU FILTHY LITTLE HALF-BLOOD!" she roars.

Narcissa's voice floats into the conversation, "You said you got this from your Uncle Al?" She's holding the pocket watch in a trembling hand.

I don't register what she is saying. Bellatrix is my main priority at the moment. I jump up from my seat. "IF I WAS A HALF-BLOOD, VOLDEMORT WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN ME TO BEAR HIS CHILD!" I scream. "MY BLOOD MUST BE MORE PURE THAN YOURS IF CHOSE ME OVER YOU!"

"DO NOT DEFILE HIS NAME WITH YOUR UNGRATEFUL TONGUE!" she bellows.

"I CAN CALL VOLDEMORT WHATEVER I SEE FIT TO CALL HIM! HE'S NOTHING TO ME!" Blood pounds in my ears.

"Bella…" Narcissa whispers. Neither of us pays any attention to her.

"DO NOT DISRESPECT THE DARK LORD!" Bellatrix's face is blood-red, as mine is no doubt.

"I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT DISRESPECTING VOLDEMORT!" I try to calm myself, but it doesn't work. My breathing shortens, and my fury flares higher.

"You will," Bellatrix growls. She whips out her wand. "_CRUC_ –"

"BELLA, WAIT!" Bellatrix and I both look over at Narcissa. Her whole body is shaking. I have a feeling only Narcissa could have stopped Bellatrix from using the Cruciatus Curse like she did.

"WHAT?" Bellatrix snarls at her sister.

Narcissa hands Bellatrix the pocket watch, shaking violently. "Look at the crest…" she says quietly.

Bellatrix snatches the item and glares at it. Her face drops. She looks at me, more rage filling her eyes. "Where did you get this?" she questions me.

"My…my Gr-Great-Uncle Al…" I stammer, shocked at this twist of events.

She and Narcissa exchange a quick glance. Narcissa asks, "Are you sure that was his name?"

"No…" I answer honestly. "Why?"

Narcissa swallows, looking between Draco, Bellatrix, and me. "When was your mother sent to Azkaban?"

"'81," I whisper.

"And you were born when?" Bellatrix asks me.

"'79," I answer. Her eyes widen.

"WHAT WAS YOUR UNCLE'S REAL NAME?" Bellatrix shrieks at me, which is really beginning to irritate me.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I shriek back at her.

"Charlotte," Narcissa's calming voice reaches me, pulling my attention from Bellatrix to her. "What do you know of him?"

"Only that he was disowned from the family…" I reply.

Narcissa and Bellatrix exchange an uneasy look. "Was…" Narcissa says, "was his real name Alphard?"

Something clicks in my mind. The letter hadn't said "Alfred." It had said "Alphard." I meet her eyes. "Y-yes…"

"Was it Alphard Black?" Narcissa whispers.

"It-it sounds f-familiar…d-did you know him?" I stutter.

Bellatrix walks around the table and comes toward me. "You're supposed to be dead…"

"I've been told so before," I say defiantly.

"The Dark Lord chose…you?" she asks quietly, wrath once again growing in her eyes.

"Bella, please calm down," Narcissa tries.

"Calm down?" Bellatrix is back to shouting. "CALM DOWN? HE CHOSE AURELIA! HE SKIPPED ME, HIS MOST LOYAL SERVANT, AND CHOSE AURELIA!"

"Bella –"

"HE CHOSE MY DAUGHTER AND NOT ME! I WENT TO _AZKABAN_ FOR HIM! I AM HIS MOST LOYAL SERVANT!" she bellows.

"Your what?" But I am not heard.

"And you were rewarded for you sacrifice," Narcissa replies.

"BY HIM CHOOSING TO HAVE A CHILD THROUGH MY _DAUGHTER_ AND NOT _ME_!" she screeches.

"Your _WHAT_?" I shout about her.

Narcissa takes a step toward me. "Charlotte," she whispers, "you're not who you think you are."

"Yes, I've gathered that much, Narcissa!" I reply.

"Your Great-Uncle Alphard is our," she motions to herself and Bellatrix, "uncle."

"You're my daughter," Bellatrix interjects. "But you're supposed to be dead."

"_I'm _supposed to be dead?" I answer. "No, _you're _supposed to be dead! Uncle Alphard told me in his letter that my mother died in Azkaban!"

"I didn't," Bellatrix replies. "And apparently you didn't die either." There is no masking the disdain and disappointment in her voice.

I look at Draco for the first time in this whole exchange. He has gone a sickly shade of green and is walking uneasily to the wall. "Draco," I whisper.

He turns but doesn't look at me. "So…" he addresses his mother, "so that means…we're," he motions to himself and me, "we're…we're cousins?"

Narcissa nods, tears in her eyes. "Yes."

Draco pukes right there on the floor.

"Draco," I whisper, hiding my own sorrow.

I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. I turn to see Bellatrix – my newfound, very much alive mother – staring at me. "There's no hope for the two of you," she sneers. "You're first-cousins. You should have died when you were supposed to. Alphard should never have taken you in. Sixteen years later, you are forced into a living hell." She smirks at me. "Does it hurt, my dear Aurelia? Does your heart hurt? Is it broken?" Her grip on my shoulder tightens.

"I'm not Aurelia," I growl at her.

"Oh, but you are," she responds. "You are Aurelia Lestrange, daughter of Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. There's no denying it."

"I'm not," I whisper, choking back my tears. She will not have the satisfaction of seeing my cry.

"Yes, you are," she whispers back at me. "I bet now you're wishing you would have taken the Cruciatus Curse before all this news broke free. Now you're wishing you'd never came here, aren't you, little one? The Cruciatus Curse is still an option. I can send you to St. Mungo's for good, like I did to those Aurors, the Longbottoms. It'll be quick and easy. It will not painless, though." She smiles at me cruelly. "But you'll never remember any of this."

I reach up around my neck and yank off the necklace Draco had given me and toss it onto the table. Draco looks at it, almost at the point of tears himself, still the sickly green he was minutes before. Narcissa looks from the necklace to me, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. I look back at Bellatrix. She's still smiling that torture-hungry smile of hers. Without thinking, I slap her across the face and shove her off of me.

I Disapparate from Malfoy Manor.

* * *

I open my eyes, having blindly Disapparated away from the heartbreak that had disrupted my life, but even this far away, I can still feel the earth crumbling beneath my feet. Nothing seems real anymore. I look around. I'm in Diagon Alley. Of course. This is the only place I had ever felt at home; it was the first all-wizard place I had ever found. There are very few people here, probably because it's getting later than usual for shoppers. There's one place I want to visit. There is one answer I need. I go to Ollivander's.

When I step into the shop, I can tell that he expected no more visitors today. The place is quiet and lonesome. "Excuse me," I say, trying to get Ollivander's attention. He comes out of the back. "Are you Ollivander?" There's really no reason for me to ask. I know good and well that this is he.

"Yes, and who are you?" the old man answers.

"I don't know if you remember me," I begin, "but I came here six years ago and got a wand."

"You stole it, I believe. Then brought the money a few months later. That was you, yes?" he replies.

"Yes," I hadn't expected him to remember that I had stolen my wand. "Please forgive for that, by the way."

He smiles, which I take as forgiveness. "Did you need something?"

"I…I don't really know to be honest…" I take my wand at. "Could you look at this for me?" I hand it to him.

"Is there something wrong with it?" he asks, taking the wand. "Eleven inches, unyielding, walnut, dragon heartstring core."

"I…I was wondering…what made that wand choose me?" I ask.

"Wands choose the wizards for unknown reasons," Ollivander answers.

"Oh…" coming here has got me nowhere. "Is there anything else you can tell me about it?"

"This wand was made from the same walnut tree and the same dragon heart that made Bellatrix Lestrange's wand." My hearts sinks to my stomach. He hands it back to me. "Will that be all?"

I nod, unable to speak. I leave the Wand Shop, more upset now than I had been moments before. My next stop is the Leaky Cauldron. I step inside. "Hello?" I call.

The landlord comes to greet me. "Hello, what can I do for you?" he asks.

"Do you have an owl that I can use to send a letter?" I answer him.

"Yes." He walks off. I sit down and pull a quill, ink, and a piece of parchment out of my pocket, which, fortunately, I had grabbed before dinner at Malfoy Manor. I stare at the blank page. Who should I write? Finally, after minutes of pondering, I begin.

_Dear Professor_ _ Dumbledore,_

_I don't know if it is allowed for a student to return to Hogwarts early during the Christmas holidays, but if it is against Hogwarts policy, I implore you to make an exception. Some things have come up at Malfoy Manor, and I was unable to remain there for the remainder of the Christmas holidays. If it is necessary for me to stay in the Leaky Cauldron, I will. But I would prefer to return to Hogwarts._

_Please reply as soon as possible. If it is not necessary for me to remain in the Leaky Cauldron, I would rather not spend what money I have on a room that I do not need._

_Thanks, _

_Charlotte Rodgers_

I read and reread the letter. I feel that it is sincere enough. Besides, Dumbledore is a kind man from what I little I know about him. Tom, the landlord of the Leaky Cauldron, returns with the letter. I pay him a Galleon and tie my letter to the owl's leg. I watch him fly away with my last hope. After I find a nice seat in the corner of the pub, I order a butterbeer.

I place my wand on the table. Ollivander has told me the absolute worst thing that I could have ever known. If my wand was made from the same walnut tree and if the dragon heartstring was taken from the same dragon heart as Bellatrix's wand, I am obviously more like my mother than I could have ever feared. Now there are more questions about myself than before.

But one thing has cleared up: My mother was sent to Azkaban because she was a Death Eater, and a ruthless one at that. What had she said about the Longbottoms? Something about having sent them to St. Mungo's. That's probably why Neville got so touchy about the place. Poor Neville…my mother is the psychopath that ruined his life, took his parents from him before he even had the chance to know them. And she worships the other psychopath, the one that ruined Harry's life by taking his parents before he ever had the chance to know them. And the same psychopath that my mother worships is the maniac that will also ruin my life, has been ruining my life for as long as it's really mattered.

Draco rushes to the front of my mind, and my heart catches in my throat. He's my cousin…I was in love with him, and he's my cousin. I take the last swig of my butterbeer and wipe away a tear I am just now feeling. Why is that when I am happy for the first time in my life, it has to be taken away from me? The D.A. will be practicing Patronuses in our next meeting. I don't think I stand a chance of making one. All of my happy memories are tainted by my new knowledge.

The owl flies back into the pub. I take a pouch and a letter off of its leg. Inside the pouch is a handful of floo powder. The letter states that I am allowed to return to Hogwarts. Dumbledore has connected his office to the Floo Network, but I must hurry.

With permission from Tom, I go to the fireplace, grab the handful of floo powder, throw it to the floor, and shout, "The office of Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Green flames consume me.

I open my eyes, and I am in Dumbledore's office. "Good evening, Miss Rodgers," Dumbledore says.

"Good evening, professor," I reply.

"Would you like to talk about what happened?" Dumbledore asks.

"Lucius Malfoy wasn't a fan of mine," I lie. "It's no big deal."

Dumbledore nods, and I leave his office. There is someone whom I must confront.

* * *

**Did any of you see that one coming?**

**I realize it goes against Canon for Bellatrix to have a daughter...but that's what Fanfiction is for, right? Don't hate me lol:)**

**Let me know what you thought of the chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

**This is the second time that I am uploading this chapter...so if you've already read it, I'm sorry. The emails were down for some reason, so I wanted the followers of the story to know that another chapter is up. I'll upload chapter 19 tomorrow:)**

* * *

**Hi everyone! I hope you're still reading after last chapter...I don't want people to give up on Charlotte:)**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: I'm glad you didn't see it coming; it means I did something right:). It's still Charlotte; she doesn't want to be affiliated with Bellatrix at this point. It won't be until Chapter 26 that things are explained about Bellatrix's reaction. Her relationship with Charlotte is a gradual thing. It'll take a while before everything about it unfolds:) She confronts the person in the beginning of this chapter. Thanks for reviewing!**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! It made me a bit tad to write it. I had actually grown to like the Draco/Charlotte pairing. But from the beginning, I've known they were cousins. Draco was never the one she risks everything for...**

**LiuanTobit: Thanks for reviewing. I tried to give subtle hints (the type of wand, her curly black hair and pale face, her "Uncle Al") but I was glad no one realized it!**

* * *

**Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER 18**

I walk through Hogwarts, heartbroken and pissed off (not a good combination). I stop at the door I have been searching for. I don't knock. I throw it open and wave my wand, lighting all of torches to brighten the room. Severus Snape looks up from his desk, thoroughly bewildered. It's completely obvious that he had not expected any company; none of the Slytherins had stayed for the Christmas holidays, why should he expect anyone?

"What are you doing here?" he asks me.

I don't answer. I storm straight up to his desk, point my wand in his face, and scream, "HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?"

His whole countenance changes, shifting from surprised to slightly panicked. He won't be able to get to his wand in time if I decide to kill him. And I make it known by my expression that I won't hesitate to do just that. "How long have I known what?" he asks, his voice quite even for his current predicament.

"Don't play dumb, Snape. I'm not in the mood," I growl.

"Obviously," he answers calmly. "But I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You're a Death Eater! You're a smart wizard! I'm sure you've pieced together some things, have you not?" I snarl.

"I assure, Rodgers, that I –"

"Oh, it's not Rodgers!" I shout. "Have you not heard the news?" I laugh sarcastically. "What a shame!"

His face drops to what could be real confusion. "What…what are…what happened?" he stammers.

"SHUT UP!" I erupt. "YOU HAVE BEEN VOLDEMORT'S SERVANT FOR YEARS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO SIT THERE AND TELL ME THAT YOU'VE HAD NO IDEA? THAT YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN THIS _WHOLE TIME_?"

"I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about," Snape answers. "Now, just put your wand down, and we can figure this out." I don't say anything, but I don't lower my wand either. "Rodgers?"

"HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU? IT IS _NOT _RODGERS!" I shout.

Snape puts his hands up in submission. "Let's start from the beginning," he says.

"Do not talk to me as if I am a child!" I snarl.

"Okay, then stop acting like one," he says. I scowl at him as the insult sinks in. "Fill me in with some information, and I might be able to help you."

I clench my teeth. "You can't help me!" I shriek. "No one can! It's in my blood! It's who I am!"

He pinches the bridge of his nose then looks at me. "Who are you?" he asks calmly. "If you are not Rodgers, who are you?"

"Lestrange," I whisper. His face goes pale. Maybe he wasn't lying to me. Maybe he truly didn't know. "Aurelia Lestrange."

Snape opens his mouth but closes it wordlessly. "Lestrange?" he repeats. "Lestrange? As in…?"

"The daughter of Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange," I answer. I slowly lower my wand. "You didn't know?"

"No…" his eyes widen. "_You're_ the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange?"

"Yes," I whisper. My anger has crashed, and now I feel emptier than I ever have. I sink down into the chair across from him.

"But that means that you and Mr. Malfoy…" he doesn't need to continue. He stops when he sees the tears flowing down my cheeks.

I nod. "Cousins," I whisper.

Snape doesn't say anything for a few minutes. We sit in complete silence for nearly ten minutes. Finally, I look up at him. "There is no escaping him is there?"

He shakes his head. I pick up my wand, but before I have a chance to say anything, Snape yells, "_Expelliarmus_!" My wand flies into the air. He catches it.

"What was that about?" I ask, not even able to muster up anger at his actions.

"I wasn't going to risk you taking out your anger on me," he answers sheepishly.

"Keep it," I reply. "I don't want it anyway."

He looks at me skeptically. "What? Why would you say something like that?"

I stand up, my anger returning. "Because it was made from the same walnut and dragon heart that Bellatrix Lestrange's wand was made from!" I yell. "The same bloody wood and core!" Snape tosses it to me, and I instinctively grab it. "I don't want it! It's just like my bloody mother's!" I sling it to the wall. It smashes into some of the glass jars he keeps on the shelves. Many of them fall to the floor and shatter, spilling their contents. The sound stirs something deep in my soul. I rush to the shelves and begin flinging anything I can get my hands on to the floor, crying out, "Why does it have to be me? Why couldn't Voldemort have chosen someone else?" Cuts slice their way across my hands as I irresponsibly destroy Snape's potions and potion ingredients. "Why couldn't he make a living hell out of somebody else's life?"

The next thing I know, there are hands on both of my arms, pulling me away from the shelves and thrusting me back into the chair. Snape waves his wand and repairs the containers then vanishes the mess on the floor. I bury my face into my hands, sobbing, "Why…couldn't…he…h-have chosen…s-someone…else? Wh-what…what did…I d-do…to-to deserve…this?"

Snape puts his hands on the armrests and bends down to look at me. "You didn't have to do anything," he answers quietly. "The Dark Lord does things his way; there doesn't have to be a reason. And it doesn't have to be anything you did."

I look Snape in the eye. "B-but…why…why did he…why did he have to take…" I pause. "I'm in love with Draco!" I cry. "Why…why couldn't…why couldn't someone h-have told me?" My chest is on fire, a hole forming where my heart once was. "He-he's taken…everything…from me! M-my childhood…my life…my parents…n-now the one I love!"

Snape moves away and picks up my wand and hands it back to me. "It's what he does," Snape says. I take my wand. Snape puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls me to my feet. "The Dark Lord gets what he wants. He always has…with the exception of Harry Potter." I swallow down the bile rising in my throat. Snape continues, "He has enough power, enough influence to control whoever and whatever he wants."

"He will not control me!" I scream.

"I'm afraid you do not have a say in it!" he snaps back.

"I WON'T LET HIM CONTROL ME!" I screech.

Snape releases my shoulders. "There's absolutely nothing you can do about it! You're going to have to let it play out the way it's meant to be!" Snape replies.

"I don't care how things are _meant to be_! He WILL NOT control me!" I retort.

He sighs then says softly, "There's nothing that can be done to stop what has already been put into motion. There's nothing you can do."

I bite my tongue. "There is something I can do," I say.

"Like what?" Snape laughs mockingly. "You are a sixteen-year-old witch. Witches and wizards much more powerful than yourself have tried to stop him, and look how that's turned out for them!"

"I might be forced to bear his child," I reply, "but he will NEVER control me!"

Snape smirks. "What do you plan to do?" he laughs.

"This," I say. I grab him by the neck and pull his lips down to mine. He stiffens. I put my hands on his chest and shove him backward. "He will not control me or what I do," I growl. I dash from the room, not wanting to endure Snape's wrath. I think I've made my point though: Voldemort has no say over what I do, and therefore he does not control me.

* * *

With no regrets at all about kissing Snape, I bang on McGonagall's office door. It's much later now than it had been when I barged into Snape's office, nearly three hours later, but I have to talk to someone. McGonagall just feels like the right person to go to. It doesn't matter that it's nearly midnight. I bang on the door again.

McGonagall throws the door open, disheveled and fixing her dressing-gown. She looks even more shocked to see me than Snape had. "Rodgers?" she asks. It's obvious that I have awoken her. But I don't care about that at the moment. I push by her and enter her office. "What do you think you're doing? I thought you were with the Malfoys."

"Something's happened. I need to talk to someone," I answer swiftly.

"What about Professor Snape?" she answers. "He is the Head of your House, is he not?"

"SNAPE CAN'T HELP ME!" I shout.

McGonagall closes the door and approaches me. Putting her hand on my shoulder, she directs me to her desk. She softly pushes me down into the chair and moves to her own. "What's happened, Charlotte?" she asks me.

I start laughing, unable to stop myself. I realize how frenzied I must sound, but I can't seem to get control of myself. "It's not even Charlotte!" I say.

McGonagall has almost the same exact look that Snape did. "What?"

"My name! It's not even Charlotte!" I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes. I hop to my feet and begin pacing in front of her desk. "It's not even Charlotte!"

"What is your name then?" the professor asks me.

I look back at her with wide eyes that I cannot bring back to their normal size. "Aurelia!"

"Aurelia?" she asks.

"Yes!" I laugh hysterically. "And-and that's not even the best part!" I run my hands through my hair. "That's not even the best part! Wait until you hear what else I learned just a few hours ago!"

"What did you learn a few hours ago?" McGonagall replies quietly.

"Ha! Wait until you hear this!" I put my palm toward her as if to stop her from saying anything else; I still can't stop my laughter. "My mother – the one who supposedly died in Azkaban – is, in fact, not dead at all! Not in the least!"

"Charlotte," McGonagall begins.

"Ah-ah-ah! It's Aurelia now, remember?" I cut her off.

"Aurelia," McGonagall corrects herself. "Who is you mother?"

I bang my hand on her desk, laughing. "Wait until you hear this!" I hoot. I pause for a second then put my hand up to my ear, "Can't you just hear the anticipation building?" I smile like I'm insane, but I can't stop myself. I can't rein myself in. "It – is – wait for it – wait for it –Bellatrix Lestrange!"

McGonagall's face pales.

"Quite some news, right?" I laugh hysterically. "Do you know what she did to get thrown into Azkaban?" I don't give McGonagall a chance to answer. "No? Well, let me tell you, because she was courteous to brag to me about! She used the Cruciatus Curse on Neville Longbottom's parents until they lost their minds! She threatened to do the same to me!" I wave my hands in the air like I'm cheering silently. "We have a winner of the 'Mother of the Year Award!' Wouldn't you agree, professor?"

"When did you see Bellatrix?" McGonagall asks, ignoring my crazed tirade.

"Only six hours ago!" I laugh again. "Oh, and get this!" I say, running my hand through my hair. "Guess who Bellatrix's sister is!" Again, I don't give her a chance to answer. "Narcissa Malfoy! Do you know what that means?" I answer for her again, "I'm Draco's cousin! Aha! What wonderful news, yes? I've been snogging my first-cousin for the past four months! I've fallen in love with my cousin!" I bang my hand on her desk again as I laugh. "Isn't that wonderful? We're closer than any other cousins I know!" Hysterical laughter burst out of me again.

"Why don't you take a seat?" McGonagall says calmly.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" I reply. "Get this," I'm still laughing hysterically, "not only has the fact of my mother being dead a lie…my whole life has been a lie!" My laughter breaks into sobs, and my hand flies to cover my mouth. I say quietly, sobbing, "It-it's…all b-been…a-a lie!"

McGonagall surprises me by standing and coming around her desk and taking me into her arms in a comforting embrace. "Calm down. It'll be okay, Aurelia," she says.

"P-please d-don't call me that," I sob into her shoulder.

After a moment, McGonagall leads me back to the chair and forces me to sit down in it. "It's going to be alright, Charlotte," she says quietly. She waves her wand, and another chair appears in front of me. The Transfiguration teacher sits down. "Just because you were born to bad people doesn't mean you're going to turn out the way they did. You don't have to follow the path they took."

I look down at my fingers. "I'm more like her than you think…"

"How? I taught Bellatrix Lestrange. You are nothing like her," McGonagall says.

I show her my wand and explain how it is like my mother's wand. But McGonagall sticks to her story and says again, "You are nothing like her."

After a few minutes of silence, I say, "I haven't been completely honest with you, professor."

She looks at me expectantly.

"And I feel that you deserve to know the truth," I continue. "But…just know…I don't want to do…any of it. I was chosen…and there's nothing…nothing I can do about it." I can't stop stammering. I'm more nervous about telling her this than I thought I'd be.

She nods for me to keep going.

"I…I am supposed to be dead," I start from what I feel is a logical place to begin. "But I don't know why. There is no record of me. I was marked as being dead from the time I was born, I guess, or at least around that time. The Ministry doesn't even know that I am alive." I clear my throat. "Um…I…I was chosen…by V-Voldemort."

I hear McGonagall's sharp intake of breath. I meet her eyes, which I have been avoiding since starting this whole explanation. "You were…you were what?" she asks quietly.

"I was chosen by Voldemort," I answer as fast as I possibly can.

"Chosen? Chosen for what?" she replies.

I can't look her in the eye, not while I say, "To bear his child."

Professor McGonagall does not make a sound, but I can feel her staring at me. I give in and look back. "When was this decided?"

"I don't know." It's the first time anyone has ever really asked me when my fate was decided. "I guess…when I was a baby?"

"Can you be positive that this is true?" Her lips are in thin line.

"Yes, my Uncle Al-Alphard told me in a letter…Bell – my mother – confirmed it when I saw her. She said that all the Death Eaters know who I am. But, I guess Voldemort has only ever referred to me as Charlotte Rodgers, because she was just as shocked as me when she found out who I am…"

"Who else knows about this…this duty?" she asks quietly.

"Well…now?" I reply. "Voldemort – obviously. The Death Eaters. The Malfoys." My throat clenches. Draco… "Me – obviously. You. Professor Dumbledore –"

"The headmaster knows?" she interrupts.

I nod. "As does Professor Snape."

"Professor Snape knows?"

"Professor Dumbledore saw fit to tell him because he is the Head of Slytherin – which is my House," I answer. I know it's a lie, but I feel as if Snape would murder me if he learned I told McGonagall he is a Death Eater.

Another silence falls between us until McGonagall asks, "Who…who else knows about your newfound parentage?"

"The Malfoys, me, Bellatrix, you, and Professor Snape," I answer.

"Professor Snape knows that too?" she responds.

"Yes, I went to him when I got back – I owled Dumbledore when I had to leave the Malfoys'. But I couldn't…I couldn't bring myself to tell him what happened…I just…couldn't," I reply quietly.

"The headmaster does not know?" she concludes.

"No."

McGonagall stands, puts her hands on my shoulders, and lifts me to my feet. "I will speak with the headmaster so you can have meeting with him as soon as possible," she says reassuringly.

I nod slowly.

"For now though," she continues, "you should go get some sleep. You've had a rough day." She leads me to her office door and walks with me in silence the whole way down to the dungeons. Before we get to the entrance of the Slytherin common room, she stops us. "Charlotte."

"Yes, professor?" I answer quietly.

"I think nothing less of you because of what your parents have done," she says.

"Thank you," I say airily, unable to find my voice.

"And my door is still open if you ever need me," she replies. I can't stop myself before I throw my arms around her neck and sob into her shoulder. She surprises me by hugging me back. "It's going to be okay."

I turn and go through the Slytherin common room and find my bed, not really expecting to sleep.

* * *

**Did you like the chapter? What about that awkward kiss, right? More about that will be explained later one, I promise.**

**Review please!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

* * *

**ceb521: Thanks for the review! You'll have to wait to find out! And yeah, I thought it would be like McGonagall to help her the best she could:)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks:)I didn't want anyone to know about it but Voldemort. He knows of course. He's always known. I thought it was confusing too, but she would have wanted to prove a point, and what better way to prove her point, right? I tried to make it like McGonagall the best I could, so thanks:). I honestly hadn't thought about the Marauder's Map. Now that you've asked it, I'll be sure to mention it later and explain. I don't want the Golden Trio to know just yet. That comes later:) Thanks for reviewing!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 19**

I jolt awake almost every four hours and flinch, waiting for an attack that never comes. I don't know why I keep expecting to be attacked. Then I remember: Bellatrix wants to Cruciate me…and Snape probably does too since I kissed him (what was I thinking?). I pretty much expect the universe to crumble on top of me at this point. It wouldn't surprise me. I close my eyes and fall back to sleep.

Again, I jolt awake and flinch at the attack that doesn't come. I flop against the bed. I curl up on my side and bury my face into my knees. Reality is hitting me harder now than I thought it would. Draco is my cousin. I am in love with my cousin. Then another thing strikes me: I almost slept with my cousin. Nausea rolls over me. I open my eyes, trying to steady my stomach when I see it. My things, everything I had taken to Malfoy Manor with me, are sitting beside my bed. I roll off bed and grab the note.

It takes reading it nearly three times before it sets in. Dumbledore had spoken with McGonagall and summoned my things for me. I am to be in his office at two this afternoon. I look at the clock. It's after twelve. Groaning at the cruelty of the world, I get ready for the day. It takes twice as long to do so. Then I go down to the common room and have one of the house elves bring me a sandwich and a glass of pumpkin juice. I eat all of three bites and don't even drink half of the juice before I stop. It only makes my queasiness worse.

Then I leave the common room and go up to Dumbledore's office.

"Miss Rodgers," he says to me when I step into his office.

"Haven't you heard, professor?" I say without any emotion; it's all drained from me. "It's not 'Rodgers.'"

"I have heard," he answers. He motions to the chair in front of his desk, and I take it. "It is Lestrange, correct?"

"Yes, sir," I reply.

"Do you wish for the professors here at Hogwarts to know you as Aurelia Lestrange?" he says.

I shake my head. "I'd rather not have any connection with them, sir."

"So it is still Charlotte Rodgers?" he continues.

"I guess so," I whisper through my thick throat.

"Good afternoon, Miss Rodgers," he then says.

"Good afternoon, Professor Dumbledore," I reply.

He smiles at me. "Is there anything about the Lestrange – or Black family, for that matter – that you wish to know?"

I shift in my seat. I had expected him to focus mainly on my duty to Voldemort and how I had found out who I am. This is a very bright change of events. "Well, are there any of them besides my parents and the Malfoys that are alive?"

"Besides the Lestranges and the Malfoys, there are a few others," Dumbledore answers. "There's your mother's other sister, Andromeda, who married a Muggle-born wizard named Ted Tonks. Their daughter is Nymphadora Tonks. She goes by Tonks. All of them have been disowned by those of the Black family."

"They have a habit of doing that, don't they?" I ask him.

"The Blacks are bred believing that being a pure-blood wizard is better than other wizards," Dumbledore replies. "Those who mix with Muggles or Muggle-born wizards are considered blood traitors. Blood traitors in the Black family are those such as Alphard, Andromeda, and Sirius Black."

"Sirius Black?" I ask. "He's related to me?"

"Your mother's cousin," Dumbledore replies.

"So my whole family is made up of Voldemort's servants?" I ask quietly. I should have seen this one coming.

Dumbledore shakes his head. "No," he answers.

"But you said that Sirius Black was part of my family!" I argue. "I've read about what he did! He spent twelve years in Azkaban!"

"Sirius Black is part of your family. And he did spend twelve years in Azkaban," Dumbledore answers. "But not all of your family serves Voldemort."

I jump to my feet. "But he killed Muggles and wizards for Voldemort!" I shout. "That's why he went to Azkaban!"

"It is no surprise that you believe the story of Sirius Black given forth by the Ministry," Dumbledore does not look the least bit upset about me having shouted at him. "Hardly anyone knows the true story."

"What…what is the true story?" I ask him quietly, sitting back down.

"Sirius Black was framed for a crime he didn't commit and was sentenced to Azkaban for twelve years," Dumbledore answers. "But he is, and has always been, innocent."

"So…is he alive?" I ask.

"Yes," Dumbledore replies. "Sirius Black, and Ted, Andromeda, and Nymphadora Tonks are all alive, and completely disowned from the Black family."

"Do you know where they are?"

"I know where the Tonks family is," Dumbledore answers.

"Do…do you think…would it be okay if…could I write them a letter, telling them who I am? I would like to meet family that isn't…that aren't followers of Voldemort. I want to learn more of who I am," I tell him.

"I don't think they'll mind," Dumbledore says kindly.

I leave his office shortly after that, happier than I thought I could be so soon after a bomb had dropped on me.

I write the letter to the Tonks part of my family, explaining to them who I am. I make sure to tell them that I am not like my mother, I am not a pure-blood-only type of witch. I tell them that I would like to meet them somehow, that I want to meet family that are not fans of "You-Know-Who." I don't use Voldemort's name for fear that the letter could be intercepted. Then I go back to my dormitory and retrieve my Nimbus 2001 and go to the Quidditch pitch.

That's where I am now. I figure I can teach myself how to fly when there aren't that many students around, so I won't have to worry about being humiliated.

I set my broom on the cold, frozen ground, and say to it, "Up!" It doesn't do anything. "Up!" I try again. It still does nothing. "Up!" It flies into my hand. I mount myself onto the broom and kick off the ground, soaring into the air.

I was right to assume that flying was freedom. I'm on the top of the world. Nothing can harm me. After a few laps around the Quidditch pitch, I decide I want to do something a bit more risky. I stop the broom so I can look around the grounds of Hogwarts. I don't see any of the other four students around. So I enter a dive straight for the ground. My stomach flops around as it makes its way to my throat, where it stays. I don't have the guts to keep going, so I pull up. The tail of the broom hits the ground, and I am thrown from it. Flying through the air _without_ a broom below me is not as much fun as flying through the air _with_ a broom below me. I smash right into the icy ground and roll a few times. My head throbs with pain. Blood trickles down my face. That had not gone as planned. I roll onto my back but remain on the ground. Finally, I sit up and snatch up my broom. I believe I've had enough of flying for one day.

I have just reached the edge of the Quidditch pitch when I hear someone say, "For a while there I was thinking that you would be a good addition to the Slytherin Quidditch team…then you crashed."

I look over, and my heart stops. I close my eyes and flinch away, bracing myself for an attack from Severus Snape. When it doesn't come, I open my eyes. "Did you need something?" I ask him.

"To talk to you about your…actions," he says softly. Snape raises his wand at me, and again I flinch. "_Vulnera Sanentur_." The gash on my forehead, from where I smashed into the ground, closes. I reach up to feel it. There's nothing there. I wipe the remaining blood away.

"What about them?" I ask him innocently. "Last night seems like a few years ago. I can't remember what happened."

"And yet you flinch at the smallest movement of my wand," he says, proving his statement by waving his wand and watching me recoil.

"Well," I reply, scrambling for some lie I can tell him. I've never had this much trouble lying before. "I'm just used to you punishing me with magic…"

"But what have you done that requires punishment?" Snape asks with a false sense of wondering in his voice.

"Er…" I don't know how to dig my way out of this hole. "I barged into your office uninvited last night, right? Some people take that offensively…" I look up. We are only a few feet away from the entrance of Hogwarts. Maybe I can keep him occupied long enough that I won't have to acknowledge what I have done.

He smirks. "Yes, I believe you did barge into my office last night," he replies. We enter Hogwarts. He stops me. "If you do so again…I fear the consequences will be most severe." But I can tell by the look in his eye that he does not just mean that barging into his office unannounced will be punished most severely.

"I will try not to invade your office again, professor," I reply. He walks for few feet beside me before we break apart. Snape goes in the direction of the dungeons. I go to the library.

* * *

Christmas Eve comes all too quickly. In the Great Hall, there is a feast prepared for the five of us students that stayed and for the Hogwarts professors. Large Christmas trees decorate the room. It's the most extravagant Christmas I've ever experienced. Most of my Christmases have been spent in random Muggle houses. Of course, they never knew I had been there. I would sneak in late at night and just look at the Christmas tree, longing for a family that I would never get.

I look up and down the table. I don't know who the other students are, but they all seem to have some kind connections. They chatter back and forth excitedly. I look the other way. The professors, all of whom have probably known each for decades, are all just as comfortable with each other as the students are. Even Umbridge acts like she belongs, even though the rest of the professors are only tolerating her. I sit in the middle of the table, uncomfortable with both groups of people. No one really seems to notice me. I eat a few bites of my meal before I stand and leave the table. None of them try to stop me. They probably would have had they known where I was going.

Had life been kinder to me, I would be finishing my dance with Draco in Malfoy Manor, eating a wonderful meal, and possibly even forming a family that I have never had. Instead, I stand in the falling snow on the Hogwarts grounds, staring at the frozen Black Lake. My breath comes out of me like a fog. I take a step onto the ice. It cracks. I take another step then look back at the castle. Torches, stationed in every window, burn, giving the place a warm and inviting feel to it. I take another step. The ice resists me, cracking under the weight I am adding to it.

I should be standing on the hardwood floor of the ballroom right now, not on cracking ice. But I'm not. The Malfoys are my relatives, but not my future family. I walk about twenty feet out onto the ice, turn, and sit on the frozen surface of the lake, facing the castle. I can't help but wonder if any of the others have paid any attention to the fact that I am gone. My body is shivering violently, but I don't want to go inside. I want to remain right where I am, on the freezing ice.

I take out my wand. In the ice right in front of me I cut a tiny circle. I plunge my hand into and gasp. The cold is so intense that it burns. Little knives prick every piece of exposed skin. I want to pull it back, but some force in my mind won't let me. The pain is welcome. The cold takes away the burning hole that has been in my chest since the second day of the Christmas holidays. It seems that the fire that has been consuming me is finally relinquishing its hold on me. I'd rather freeze then burn. But the pain is too much, and I pull my hand back out. I can't even move it because it's so cold. I smile at the red skin. For that brief moment, my heart had not been aching as badly as it has been. For that brief moment, the only thing that had mattered was that hand, its pain, its relief.

I rest my head in my hands, my cold palms pressed against my forehead. What have I been reduced to? How bad has my life gotten that I am sitting on a icy lake, freezing, waiting for my heartbreak to fade away.

For nearly half an hour, I sit here, letting the ice absorb the pain I feel because of Draco and because of my mother. When my legs begin to ache, I slowly push myself to my feet. My movements are sluggish, but it's the best I can do under the circumstances. Everything feels like lead. I take my right foot and try to force it forward. It collides with the ice, a lot heavier than it was when I had full control over myself. I shift all my weight to that leg and try to move the other.

The ice cracks angrily beneath me. I pull my left leg up to meet my right. It slams into the ice with the same force as my right leg had. The ice cracks again. Before I can make another movement, the cracking becomes visual, no longer just audible. It starts where I had shoved my hand into the water and spreads the twenty feet to the shore. I take another step, ignoring the hair that is standing up on the back of my neck. As I go to move forward, the ice breaks, and I fall into the water.

At first, I cannot move at all. Everything blanks. My lungs shrink to half their normal size. My heart rate doubles. I force myself to come to my senses. This calms me down. I open my eyes. They scream when they come into contact with the cold water. I ignore this. The water is dark. I can hardly see. Little light can filter through the surface because of the ice. I look up. The light that does make its way through the water comes from the hole I have caused. A huge section is gone. This is probably the section I fell through.

I slowly swim to the top, but it's difficult. I'm not moving at all, really. I scream, and instantly regret it. I watch as some of my air floats away from me. I reach out for it, but of course that does no good. I flail beneath the water. I have to get to the surface. My lungs are now cursing at me. I stick my hand into the air. My fingertips touch the ice. I can't grab it. My hand doesn't want to obey me. I continue flailing until my face breaks through the surface. I take a deep breath before I bob back below. I reach up and throw my arm over a chunk of ice and pull my head back up.

It's a relief to be able to breathe again, but it's horrifying to know that I can hardly control my body, making the task of getting out of the water that much more difficult. I pull myself along the ice chunks that are left until my feet hit the bottom of the lake. I walk out, eventually crawling, and collapse on the snow, shivering. I pull my knees to my chest. Sure, while I might be out of the water and breathing and still in pain from the freezing water, the gaping hole reforms in my heart, and I all I want to do is crawl back into the lake.

Instead of going back to the lake, I clench and unclench handfuls of snow, recycling the same small amount of snow. The pure white begins to be tainted with red. My hands shriek in pain. No, wait. That shrieking in my mind is not really in my mind. It's escaping my open mouth. Quickly, I stop. My hands have cracked open and are bleeding into the snow. The blood warms my hands. Without thinking, I wrap my bloodied hands around my neck, warming myself with my own blood.

Closing my eyes and biting my tongue, I pull my knees closer to my chest. Breathing hurts, sending icy shards into my lungs. I sob, but not from my physical pain. I sob because, even though I am going through this much pain, the only thing I can think of is Draco. He had been the only person I have ever relied on, the only person who ever loved me, and the only person I ever loved. I was truly alone until I met him, but I had been blissfully, ignorantly happy about it. Without him now, I realize how empty I am.. I scream in agony. Had Lucius not been so adamant about hunting me down for Voldemort, I would not have met Draco, and I wouldn't be in this much pain right now.

Had Voldemort not chosen me, I would not be lying in the snow, freezing. I wouldn't be here at Hogwarts. Or maybe I would be here. I don't know. But if I were here, I would surely be here for different reasons. I wouldn't be here for protection until Voldemort decides to make me his slave. I scream out again. Why did it have to be me? What made Voldemort choose me?

A warm hand touches mine. I pull my hand away. I don't want to be saved. I want to wallow here and freeze to death. I don't want to live anymore. I've never experienced this much heartbreak before. "Don't touch me!" I shout.

Two warms hands grab me and jerk me to my feet.

"Don't touch me!" I scream. I can't see who it is. My vision is blurred.

The hands grab my shoulders and force me to walk.

"Let me go!" I screech. My limbs are still too cold to be of much good, so fighting my captor does no good, so I just stop moving altogether and collapse to the ground. There is a frustrated grunt, then a red flash. Everything goes black.

* * *

**I know Snape's reaction about the kiss was kind of odd, but I don't think he would want to say aloud what she did, you know? He'd try his best to ignore it until he can get his actual revenge. That comes later...**

**Let me know what you thought about the chapter!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks to all of those who have favorited/followed this story! It means so much to me!**

* * *

** rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for all of your favorites and follows!**

**FredWeaslyForever15: Thanks for the follow and the favorite and the review! You don't have to beg:) I fully plan on finishing:) And you'll just have to wait and see about the Voldemort thing!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for the favorite and the follow and the review! I'm glad you found it and gave it a chance! That makes me really happy! I guess you'll continue to read, because I will definitely continue to write it!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Harry isn't at Hogwarts, remember? He, the Weasleys, and Hermione are at St. Mungo's:) You'll just have to wait and see if it was actually Snape or if was someone else! Again, thanks:)**

**ceb521: Thanks for the review! You find out in this chapter!**

* * *

**Please enjoy the chapter! :)**

**CHAPTER 20**

Jerking awake, I begin coughing. The room I am in is poorly lit. It's tiny, really tiny. I don't think I've ever seen this place before, but I can't be sure. I scoot backward, trying to sit up. I am in a bed that's hardly big enough to hold me, and it's hard and uncomfortable. I reach for my wand. It's no longer in my robes. For a heart-stopping second, I think I must have dropped it in the lake. But that can't be the case…at least I hope it isn't. But I think I remember it being in my pocket. Calming down about my wand, I try turning to fix my pillow and find that my hand is chained to the side of the bed. I look around, searching for any clue as to where I might be. I find none.

What I do find is a clock on the wall. It's nearly one in the morning. "Happy Christmas, Charlotte," I tell myself. I swallow.

"Talking to ourselves now, are we?" someone asks me from behind a newspaper. A yelp of surprise escapes me.

"Let me go!" I shout.

"No can do, I'm afraid," the person says. "Being chained is for your own safety."

"I'M SICK OF PEOPLE DOING THINGS TO ME AND CLAIMING IT'S FOR MY OWN SAFETY!" I scream. "LET ME GO!"

"And just what good would letting you go do when I still have this?" the man waves my wand at me from behind the paper.

"GIVE ME BACK MY WAND!" I shriek.

"No can do, I'm afraid," comes the reply.

I fight against my restraints, despite how badly it hurts. "Let me go!"

"No can do, I'm afraid."

I give up and slam against the bed, fighting back my tears of helplessness and frustration. A few minutes pass. "Who are you?" I finally ask. The newspaper ruffles as the reader flips the pages. "Show me you face."

"No can do, I'm afraid."

"SHOW ME YOUR FACE, YOU BLOODY COWARD!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

The person sighs and folds the newspaper over to show me his face. "How many times must I tell you not to call me a coward?" Snape asks.

My retort is lost in my throat. Snape covers his face with newspaper and begins reading again. Finally, I am able to ask, "What happened?"

"Before or after you tried to kill yourself?" he asks. He straightens his legs and cross his ankles.

"Before –" I stop. The lake… "I didn't try to kill myself!"

"That's not what it looked like when I saw you walk out onto that ice," Snape answers me.

"Well if you thought I was trying to kill myself, why did you save me?" I shout at him. "After all, I am just swine that's been put under your protection! You should have let me die!"

Snape sighs again. "How many times must I tell you that the Dark Lord has charged me with protecting you? If you died under my watch, he would have my head on a stick."

I growl at him, "Why does it matter to you whether you live or die? You're miserable, why not go ahead and end our misery of having to be around you!"

"Because I pride my life upon – and find much enjoyment in – making the lives of young witches and wizards miserable," Snape answers, and I can't tell if he is serious or not. "If I were to let myself die on your behalf, Miss Lestrange, who would make you miserable in my place?"

"Don't call me that!" I am trembling. Fortunately, Snape is still behind his newspaper and cannot see.

"It is your name though, yes? Aurelia Lestrange," Snape replies.

"SHUT UP! I AM NOT A LESTRANGE!"

"Your blood begs to differ," Snape sneers. He lowers the paper enough to look at me, "I guess I can't really blame you for wanting to kill yourself then. Lestrange is a hard name to live up to. I can see how you would feel too…inadequate…to live up to your mother's reputation." He smirks at me then covers his face with the paper again.

I flail in the bed, yelling and trying to break free. Neither of which do me any good. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"That's not much of an incentive for me to release you then, is it?" he asks.

I remain silent.

Snape takes nearly twenty minutes to finish reading the paper before he folds it up and puts it aside. I glower at him. "Ready to talk about what happened?" he asks slowly. "Because I, for one, would love to know why you tried to kill yourself."

"I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL MYSELF!" I shout at him. Snape stands and moves toward the door. "OKAY! WAIT…Wait!" The Potions Master goes back to his chair and sits down. I take a deep breath. "Tell me what you saw."

Snape smirks at me. "I saw you walking out onto the Black Lake, knowing it was frozen. I saw you stand there as it cracked beneath your weight. I saw you slam your foot onto the ice, trying to break the ice, undoubtedly to drown – or freeze – yourself."

"I DI –" I ball my hand into a fist and take a deep breath. "I didn't try to kill myself."

"Then why don't you tell me what happened?" he says softly.

I look away from him. "After dinner, I walked out to the lake. There was something…drawing…me to it. I walked out onto it and sat there for a while…nearly half an hour," I say, "And yes, before you ask, it was cracking while I walked out onto it." I meet his eye. "I take it you missed that whole part?"

"Yes, I was still at dinner with the rest of the Hogwarts residents," Snape replies, "which is where you should have been, not out on the lake!"

"Well, you know. The sheer happiness of those around me plunged me into an even darker loneliness," I answer.

Snape ignores this comment and instead asks, "What did you do while you sat on the ice?"

"I cut a hole in the ice…and stuck my hand in it," I answer smugly. "And it felt wonderful…for a while."

"Did that not hurt?" his voice is quiet.

"That's what made it so wonderful," I answer. "It took away the burning hole in my heart, even if only temporarily. It took my mind off of Voldemort…and…and Draco." I look down at my wrist and pull at the chains. I add quietly, "I have less than a year before Voldemort comes for me. This is my last Christmas being free. And I'm spending it chained up because I _almost_ died."

"You shouldn't have tried to kill yourself," he replies.

"I DIDN'T –"

"My apologies," he says as unapologetically as humanly possible, "you just tried to severely hurt yourself. And for what? To take you mind off of Voldemort?"

"To take my mind off of Draco!" I shout at him. Tears sting in the back of my eyes. "But I wouldn't expect you to understand that."

Snape meets my eyes but stays quiet.

"Have you ever been in love, Snape?" I ask. But I don't give him a chance to reply before I go on, "I thought not. No surprise there, right?" I swallow down the lump in my throat. "When you lose that person, or realize that you can never be with them, a black hole forms where your heart once was. It consumes everything that's happy. Everything is sucked from your soul, Snape. There is only a fire left in your chest. And it just won't go away." I wipe a tear from my cheek. "The bitter cold of the lake took that fire away." I meet his eyes. "I don't expect you to understand…I just expect you to respect what I'm going through."

Severus Snape remains motionless. He looks like a statue. For a moment I think he very well could be, but then he says quietly, "I understand."

I want to ask him what he means, but there is a distance in his eyes, like he is reliving something. Hoping it is something that truly makes him understand, I keep to myself. Reality hits him and he looks back at me. Neither of us speaks. After a few moments of watching each other, I ask, "Where am I? Why am I not in the hospital wing?"

"It is not advisable for the professors here to know you tried to kill –" he pauses and throws his hand up to stop me from interrupting him, "I mean…tried to severely harm yourself. So I brought you down here to prevent any of them from learning of your…issue."

"It's not an issue!" I argue. "I was temporarily distracted and comforted so I took my chance! Believe me, this is not something I am going to be doing every day! It was a mistake!"

"A mistake that nearly took both our lives," Snape comments.

"Where am I? You never really answered me…" I reply.

"My private potions storeroom," he says. With a wave of his wand, lit torches appear, revealing all of the potion ingredients. The room is much smaller than I had previously assumed. The door is closed. The bed I am lying on is tiny, and Snape's chair is pushed all the way against the wall, but there is still less than a yard between it and the bed.

"Why am I in here?" I ask him.

"No one will come searching for you here," he explains. "And it's easy for me to keep an eye on you."

Silence falls between us again. I break it a few minutes later with another question. "So did you fix me?" I ask.

"Physically, you should be fine. Mentally, you still need help," he states.

Snape stands, and his chair disappears. He goes for the door. "Where are you going?" I call out to him.

"I'm going to sleep. It's nearly two in the morning," he replies, opening the door and stepping out of the storeroom.

"Get back here, you evil git! Let me out!" I strain against the chains.

"No can do, I'm afraid." He begins closing the door. I start screaming. Snape waves his wand at me, and I can't make another sound. He smirks as a struggle to open my mouth, but it's like my tongue has been glued to the roof of my mouth. He closes the door, leaving me in here to wallow in my own self-pity, unable to break free of the chains or even shout at him through the door.

* * *

The storeroom door slams open, waking me up violently. I crack my eyes open. Snape stands in the doorway. I try to speak, but my tongue is still stuck the roof of my mouth.

"Already awake, I see," Snape replies.

I glare at him.

"I came to check on you," he continues. He looks at me as waiting for an answer. "Very well then, I'll let you figure it out, and I'll return later." He turns to leave, and I grunt at him and fight against the chains. "Ah, yes. I had forgotten." He waves his wand, and my tongue releases its hold on the top of my mouth.

"I hate you," I groan. My mouth is dry and shouting at me.

"That's really nothing new to me," he replies. "Most of the students find a reason to hate me."

"We don't have to search very hard," I answer. "You openly give us so many reasons."

He grimaces at me. "I believe you owe me. I saved your life."

"Saved my life only to throw me back to the rabid wolves and expect me to fend for myself. Yeah, what a hero," I reply dryly.

"I liked you better when you couldn't talk," he says.

"And I liked you better when you weren't in here," I reply.

"Very well," he leaves the room.

"WAIT!" I shout after him. "COME BACK!"

Snape opens the door. "Can I help you, Miss Rodgers?"

"Please, just let me go," I beg. Snape waves his wand, and the chains vanish. I breathe a sigh of relief. I slide off the bed. "And give me my wand back." I open my hand. He places the wand in my hand. "Thank you."

Snape waves his wand at the bed, and it becomes a ladder that reaches the top shelf of the potion storeroom. I walk past the Potion Master to go to the Slytherin Dungeon. I reach the door, and I hear Snape say, "Happy Christmas."

I turn to wish him the same, but he has disappeared. I go up to my dormitory. There is package on my bed and a letter beside it. I open the package. There is a vial full of yellow liquid. The note attached says, "_Elixir to Induce Euphoria. Do not use the Black Lake next time. Take a small bit of this. DO NOT USE ALL AT ONCE. SIDE EFFECTS CAN BE (and are) IRRITATING_." I unplug the top and take a whiff. It has a sweet smell. I smile and put in my trunk with the other few things I own. Then I grab the letter.

I read through it. It's from Nymphadora Tonks, my cousin. She says that she will be in Hogsmeade every weekend in February. She will gladly meet me somewhere in the village so I can meet some of my family. She obviously has doubts that I am Bellatrix's daughter; she believes there would have been some word had Bellatrix had a daughter. The Death Eater would have bragged about having a child to give to Voldemort, but nevertheless, she is willing to give me a chance to explain myself. I write a letter back to her, telling her that we should meet in the Three Broomsticks. I slide the letter into my pocket, and leave the Slytherin Dungeon.

I walk to Snape's office door and knock lightly. "Enter," he calls. I step inside. "Don't make a habit of coming to my office, Miss Rodgers."

"Wasn't really planning on it, professor," I answer.

"Then what are you doing here now?" he replies.

"I came to ask…what will happen if…is there a chance that…" I pause. I don't know how to word my question. "Will Voldemort find out about my…actions…from the other day?" My voice is shaky.

"So you do remember. I thought you had a lapse of memory?"

"I did…but it's recently come back…" I say.

"You mustn't worry about it, Miss Rodgers," Snape replies. "You won't be meeting the Dark Lord for a while."

"What about you though, professor?"

"I can take care of myself. I find myself to be quite skilled in Occlumency. He won't learn what happened from me," Snape answers.

I look at my hands. "Is that something that can be learned? Is that a way to hide thoughts from people?"

"Yes, it can be learned. And when you are skilled enough, thoughts can be hidden."

Meeting his gaze, I ask, "Could you teach me?"

"No can do, I'm afraid."

"Stop saying that!"

"There is a student to whom I must teach it. I cannot use the same cover for both of you," Snape answers.

"It's Harry, isn't it?" I ask. "The one you're teaching." His face blanks. "I know more than you give me credit for, professor."

"I cannot teach you," is all he says.

I get up to leave. Before close the door, I say to him, "Happy Christmas, professor." Then I go to send my letter back to Tonks.

* * *

**So yeah...it was Snape**

**And she's going to meet Tonks! I'm kinda excited about that chapter too:)**

**Let me know what you thought about the chapter!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing:) Yeah, it could have been a plot twist; I can see how that would have worked, but I want to cause as little difference between the books and my story as possible, you know? I have something special in store for the elixir;) I'm looking forward to it too lol**

** rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing:) I didn't realize until just now that some autocorrect thing on here changes your username to ".7" which is why that's what it was last time. Sorry about that, and about the space I had to put in your username that isn't there otherwise...**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing:) I'm not gonna lie, I really enjoyed writing the conversations between them haha. Yeah, it was him**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you saw it playing out that way:) What class do you read this in? My classes ended May 6, which has given me sooo much time to write. It's great haha**

* * *

**CHAPTER 21**

After Christmas, time speeds into overdrive. The days fly by, which might be due to me staying asleep most of the day, or it might be because I'm dreading the time that I will have to see Draco again. But what I do know is that the Christmas holidays are over too quickly, and the other students are on their way here. The small slice of peace that I have had since the Black Lake fiasco is wearing off. I haven't even attempted to drink the elixir I got for Christmas; I want to save it for when Draco actually comes back. I don't know if I'll be able to hand seeing him this soon.

And just like I had feared, when I see Draco for the first time, getting off of the Hogwarts Express, my heart implodes. He is walking with Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy. Pansy doesn't have the look of victory on her face, so I can only assume that Draco has not told them about what happened.

What shocks me the most is when Draco walks toward me and says, "H-hi, Charlotte," very awkwardly.

At the mere sound of his voice, my heart catches in my throat. I nod to him, unable to speak at all.

"Can we talk, Charlotte?" he asks quietly. I nod again. He touches my arm, and my pain flares to a new extreme. My lungs contract, making it more difficult to breathe than it had been when I had plunged into the icy depths of the Black Lake. He leads me, not letting go of my arm, to a bench, where we sit down. He takes my hands in his. He opens his mouth, then closes it. There are tears in his eyes. "Something's happened…that I would _never_ have thought…I wasn't expecting…"

A tears slips down my cheek. Draco moves to wipe it away, but pulls his hand back. Neither of us speak for a few minutes. Finally, though my throat is thick with sorrow and I can hardly utter a sound, I manage to whisper, "I guess…we both know how this has to be."

Draco nods silently. "There…were so many things…that I wanted to do with you…" he says slowly. "I wanted to finish our dance…teach you to fly…" he takes a breath, "I fully expected…I wanted to…I thought…I dreamed we would spend the-the rest of our lives together…and…and now…with-with all of this…"

"Please stop," I croak. I suppress my sobs by taking slow breaths before I continue, "I don't…I don't want to think…about what_ could have been_…we c-can't change…there's nothing…there's nothing we can do…"

"So it's best not to dwell on it…" Draco finishes for me. I nod, and he releases my hands to bring something out of the pocket of his robes. He holds Uncle Alphard's pocket watch in his hand. A sob escapes me. He opens my hand and places the watch in my hand. He closes my fingers around it. "I…I just…I thought…you know, that you should have it…'cause it's the last thing that you have…that you have of your – our – family. I thought…you deserve to have it…"

I nod silently.

Draco pulls me into a hug. "I'm so sorry this –"

"It's not your fault," I say quickly. We remain in each other's arms for a quarter of an hour, not caring about the onlookers. None of them have a clue as to what happened and why Draco and I are so upset.

When he finally pulls away, he says quietly, "So…I guess this is really over, then, huh?"

"I guess so," I whisper.

"It was…great…while it lasted." With that, he stands and walks away.

I don't move. I rub the pocket watch in my hands absentmindedly, staring at the floor but not really looking at it. It's over. Draco and I are no more. A few tears drip from my chin and land on my hands. No one approaches me. Most have wandered off. The best four months of my life were over. The first prospect of a real family had been destroyed through my biological family. It's all wrong. This shouldn't be the way things ended. Draco and I should have only parted ways when one of us died, preferably of old age. Yet here I sit, lost and alone, with no hope of being found.

It's times like these when I wish I had made friends with the rest of Slytherin. All of my time had been consumed with Draco. I have a feeling that the Golden Trio probably hates me still for the "Weasley is our King" thing. Maybe I can help them get past this. Sure, I had helped them escape the clutches of Umbridge, but a bigger gesture might be able dissolve any tension that's left.

That's what I'm going to do. I wipe my tears, slip the watch in my pocket, and head to the library. Hermione is big on books, so I assume this is a good place to find them. Just a few minutes later, I'm proven right. Hermione and Ron are sitting beside each other, Hermione working diligently, Ron doing practically nothing.

I clear my throat. They look up. Ron's face darkens. "Can I speak with you?" I ask them.

"About what?" Ron snaps.

Hermione, who had seemed just as upset about me approaching them as Ron, must see the puffiness of my eyes, for she doesn't snap at me, she snaps at the redheaded boy next to her. "Ron! Remember what I told you!"

"It's fine, Hermione," I say quietly. Ron looks slightly less angry.

Hermione casts Ron an ugly look. Ron ignores her. "What do you want?" his voice still has traces of contempt, but he's not as rude as a second ago.

"Firstly, I want to apologize for the part I played during the Quidditch match…you know, the song," I answer. Ron still doesn't seem appeased. "And I would like to make it up to you. Secondly, I wanted to see if your father is okay."

"He's fine," Ron replies coldly. "How do you expect to make something like that up? You're just as bad as the rest of the slimy Slytherins!" He stands and tries to storm off, but I grab his arm and turn him back. "Don't touch me."

"Let me make it up to you," I plead.

Hermione jumps in to stop Ron from snapping again. "What did you have in mind?"

"I will let you hit me with any spell, jinx, or hex that you so desire," I say to Ron.

"Ron, you can't!" Hermione intervenes.

Neither of us pays her any attention. "Okay," he agrees. We walk to the Middle Courtyard. It's snowing. Ron, Hermione, and I go to the center. I take my wand out of my pocket and place it in the snow. He asks, "Ready?" I nod.

I brace myself. Ron shouts, "_Titillando_!" An invisible force shoves me to the snowy ground, tickling me. I can hardly breathe I'm laughing so much. It's an odd hex for Ron to cast at me, but I don't really care at the moment. The tickling is beginning to hurt. Then it stops. I start to get up when I hear Ron shout, "_Locomotor Mortis_!" My legs lock up.

"What is this, Ron?" I yell at him, unable to stand. "I said 'one,' not two!"

The next thing I know, Ron shouts, "_Oppugno_!" Globs of snow fling themselves onto me, attacking me.

Using only my arms, I pull myself over to my wand, pick it up, and say, "_Protego_!" The snow stops assailing me. I counter the Leg-Locker Curse and stand up. Ron smirks at me. I drop my shield and offer him my hand. "Are we even now?"

"We're even," he says, accepting my hand.

We all venture back into the library, me completely covered in snow. Part of me wants to leave them and go off on my own for a while, but that little part of me is overtaken by the larger part of me that desperately desires someone's company. They don't try to make me move when I sit next to them. "Where's Harry?" I ask them.

Ron looks over at me. "He's…he's in Remedial Potions with Snape."

So that's what they're calling it. That's the cover that Snape said he couldn't use on two students. It makes much more sense now. He couldn't very well teach us together, as that would cause problems, but it would look weird if he were teaching to separate Remedial Potions classes. I want Ron and Hermione to know that I know what Harry is truly doing. To do that, I say, "Is that what they're calling it?"

Hermione then looks over at me. "What do you mean?" She keeps her voice smooth, but her eyes betray how unnerved she truly is.

I lean close and whisper quietly enough that only the two of them can hear, "His Occlumency lessons with Snape."

Both of their faces drop. Hermione pales. "How…how do you…?"

"Over the holidays I tried talking Snape into teaching me, but he said that he was already teaching a student and that he couldn't because he would have to use the same cover for two students," I answer. "I just pieced it together and came to the conclusion that the other student was Harry."

"But you were with the Malfoys over the holidays," Ron says.

"For all of day," I reply quietly.

"Why'd you leave?" Ron asks. Apparently he doesn't realize just how personal of a question that is.

"Er – family problems," I answer swiftly. It's not a complete lie.

Hermione makes a disgusted face. "The Malfoys hate you too, huh?"

My breath catches in my throat. "They've always hated me. It came as no surprise."

"'Always?'" she says. "It sounds as if you've known them for a while."

"Because I have – well, we've known _of_ each other for a while." I don't say that this is because the Malfoys were in charge of hunting me down. "We met…officially…just before term started." I smile. "They weren't expecting it to be _me_ who showed up with Draco."

"But how did you know of each other?" Ron asks. "You came from Durmstrang. Do they have connections there?"

I smirk at him. "You don't actually believe that, do you?"

"But…" Hermione seems just as confused as Ron. "Then…" she can't seem to find the words. "What…?"

"I'm afraid that telling you too much of the truth will only cause more danger for you…and I don't want to be the cause of that," I say quietly. I pull Uncle Alphard's pocket watch out of my robes and look at the time. "I really should be going now…"

"Where did you get that?" Hermione asks me, looking at where my watch had just been.

"A relative," I say quickly while I stand. She doesn't look satisfied, but I don't feel like going into detail about it. Doing so will only lead them to the conclusion that Draco and I are cousins, and I don't want to deal with the sympathetic looks. I leave the library. On the way down to the dungeons, I pass Harry. I give him a curt but friendly nod that he hesitantly returns. I'm hoping Ron and Hermione tell him what I've done to make things right between me and the Golden Trio. Surely they will…I don't want this tension between me and them.

The moment I step into the Slytherin common room, Pansy Parkinson ambushes me, forcing me into a corner with questions. "What happened between you and Draco?" she asks. I don't answer. "He won't tell me. Who ended it, you or him? I hope it wasn't you, because you weren't good enough for him in the first place. You had no right to end it." I remain silent. "Why did Draco end it?" I sigh. "Was it before or after Christmas?" Then her eyes darken. "You better not have ruined his Christmas!" With that, I shove past her and go to my bed. "Everyone knows!" she shouts as I ascend up the stairs.

I stop before I crawl into the bed. My head slowly turns to my trunk. Glancing around the room to make sure no one watching, I thrust my hand into the trunk and pull out the elixir that induces euphoria. I drip three small drops of the sweet-tasting potion into my mouth and swallow. Then I hide the vial deep under my things.

The elixir kicks in before I even draw my hand out of the trunk. My head feels light. The torturous thoughts of Draco flee my mind. The sorrow that has been pushing against my chest for nearly three weeks now is lifted. I fill my lungs with air. Relief is the only thing I feel. I smile and turn to go back to the common room. Even Pansy doesn't break through the elixir's effects, not her relentless questions, nor her smug smile. Not even the sight of Draco gives me any pain.

I leave the room and walk through the dungeons to stop and knock on Snape's office door. "Enter," he says. I open the door and step in. He sighs, "Did I not warn you about making it a habit to come to my office, Miss Rodgers?"

His rude response to seeing me doesn't dampen my high spirits. "I came to thank you, professor," I reply.

"For what?" he says.

Though I'm sure he knows exactly what for, I answer, "The Christmas gift, professor." I smile at him. "It works wonders."

"I've no idea what you're talking about," he says. He would have been convincing had I not known the truth. "Leave now." I smile at him one more time before I leave his office.

I go back to the common room and watch the fire. Draco and I refrain from speaking to each other at all. When everyone else files out of the room, I follow for the first time. Draco and I usually stayed in the room for a little while longer just so we could have a few minutes alone. Unfortunately, I don't trust the potion enough to risk something like that, so I go with the rest of the fifth-year girls back to our dormitory.

That next morning, I physically have to force myself not to drink the potion again. After that amazing experience with it last night, it's hard not to, but I want to save it for when things get worse.

Had I known what was to come at breakfast in the Great Hall, I would have drunk the entire potion right then and there.

* * *

**I had to give Draco and Charlotte some closure. But that's not the last time they'll ever talk, of course**

**I know Ron using the Tickling Hex is out of character, but I'll explain _why_ he did it later:)**

******What'd you think? Let me know!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! You'll figure it out momentarily, and thanks. I enjoy intriguing people:) I thought I put a not down at the bottom, but I forgot until your review asked why Ron would use that hex (thanks for pointing it out, by the way. I was able to go add that before there was anymore confusion). They talk about it later, and he'll explain it. I can't tell you if she tells, only time can do that lol**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I update once a day, typically before noon (standard eastern time, USA) if I can. Sometimes it will come later, but I try to get it up before then. Don't worry. I did anything I could so I wouldn't have to pay attention in math!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for the review!**

**ceb521: Thanks for the review!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 22**

When I arrive in the Great Hall (later than I should, admittedly), I can sense that something terrible has happened. My first instinct tells me to look at the Golden Trio. They hold a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ between them. Harry is flustered. Hermione meets me gaze, and her eyes widen slightly. She glances from the paper to me and back many time before I can tear my eyes away from her and look up at the staff table. McGonagall and Dumbledore are in an intense conversation. Snape looks oddly expressionless. Umbridge does not scan the room as she usually does. Professor Sprout, the Herbology professor, is reading the _Daily Prophet_ and is obviously shaken.

I head toward the Slytherin table, having no idea where I should sit. It'd be awkward to sit with Draco and his followers. I glance at them. Pansy is sitting close to Draco, who looks neither pleased nor upset about this. Crabbe and Goyle stuff their faces with breakfast. I look away from the group before Draco and I can have eye contact.

Quickly, I take a seat across from the one of the only Slytherins whose name I know. Her name is Millicent Bulstrode. "You were Draco's girlfriend, right?" is the first thing she says to me.

"Yep," I answer swiftly, grabbing a plate. She has an unopened newspaper beside her.

"What happened?" she asks me.

"Nothing much," I don't look at her. "Are you going to read that?" I point to the _Daily Prophet_.

"No, I don't know why my parents have it sent to me every day," she answers. "Would you like to read it?"

"Yes, please." I reach for it, but she jerks it out of my reach. I inwardly groan at her.

"Tell me what happened between you and Draco, and it's all yours," she smirks.

Rolling my eyes, I say, "His folks don't approve of me. We broke up. Happy?" I snatch the paper from her hands and tear it open. My heart plunges to my stomach, making the little bites of food I have eaten fight angrily to come back up. The headline says in big, bold letters, "**MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN – MINISTRY FEARS BLACK IS 'RALLYING POINT' FOR OLD DEATH EATERS**." I can't help but find Draco's eyes. He gives me a grave, small shake of his head. Apparently the Ministry has had no choice but to let the news slip. The Death Eaters must have done something, or maybe someone saw one of them. I read the rest of the article to learn that they are blaming it on Sirius Black. I look at the picture of my mother, Bellatrix Lestrange. She is screaming and fighting against her chains. Shuddering, I look away. I can see the similarities between the two of us the more I think about her. I have her curly black hair and her pale skin. I don't know where the blue eyes came from, but a lot of my features match my mother's, such as my nose and the shape of my jaw. That's why Hermione kept look at me oddly…what if she recognizes the similarities between my mother and me?

My eyes wander back to the staff table. My breath is short. Tears burn, threatening to escape me, though I try my hardest to hold them back. McGonagall gives me a sympathetic look, only making the food I've eaten fight harder to find its way back up. Dumbledore doesn't look at me. Snape is anxious.

My heart constricts. This is really happening. I abruptly stand from the table, sling my bag over my shoulder, crumble the newspaper in my hand, and rush from Great Hall. I need fresh air. So I find some.

I sit on a bench close to an open window and let the breeze brush across my face. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. Already I can feel myself calming. Then I hear, "Why'd you storm from the Great Hall like that?"

My blood pressure rises again. Opening my eyes, I see Lee Jordan and Fred and George Weasley all sitting near me now. "What do you mean?" I ask as evenly as I can manage.

"We saw you storm out of the Great Hall and wondered why," George says. I don't understand how it can be of any relevance to them why I did or did not storm from the Great Hall.

"So go ahead," Fred says. "Fill us in."

"Didn't feel well," I mumble.

"Yeah, sure," Lee Jordan replies.

"Why does it matter?" I say rather curtly.

"Just curious is all," Fred replies.

I half expect them to leave after that. But they don't. They stay right where they are, watching me as if waiting for me to give them a real answer. Having kept things bottled in quite easily for the past five years, I don't even feel tempted to tell them anything. Here at Hogwarts, the only people who know the truth about me are McGonagall, Dumbledore, Snape, Draco, and myself. And it's going to stay that way so long as I can help it. I take out the pocket watch. "Look at the time," I say suddenly. "Looks like I've got to go."

"Where'd you get that?" Fred asks, indicating the pocket watch.

"My great-uncle," I say as I stand. Then I wander away from them as fast as possible.

* * *

The fun days of Hogwarts are over. Each seems to grow more unbearable. Since I first started here, Draco had really been by my side at most times, or I knew he would be soon, which made the Draco-free times slow but tolerable. Now though, we don't speak. We don't sit next to each other. We don't even acknowledge each other. But the worst part is: We no longer go on our secret dates through the castle.

Times in the common room are strictly used for passing the hours until I can go to bed without looking weird for going so early. The warmth of the fire is the only thing that keeps me from going insane. And when everyone is studying quietly, the sound of the lake above us is calming as well. But being so close to Draco without being close to him at all…I have no words for this type of torture.

I learn throughout the week that Hagrid has been put on suspension by Umbridge. The Golden Trio is particularly upset about this. Draco is positively gleeful about it, and that bothers me. I guess that's one good thing that came from being separated by Draco; I no longer have to be lumped with the other Slytherins. Hermione has become exceedingly friendly, and I have no way to thank her for this. Harry and Ron have also become nicer to me (I assume Ron told Harry about our agreement). The D.A. meetings are the only thing I have to look forward to anymore.

Umbridge has passed another Educational Decree. Teachers are no longer allowed to give students any information that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach. Though most of the students here at Hogwarts are upset because they want to know more about the mass outbreak of Azkaban; I am upset because it makes going to any professor for comfort much more difficult (and by "any professor" I exclusively mean McGonagall; she's the only professor I will seek comfort from, considering that Snape and I are not – and will probably never be – on good terms).

The only conversations in the halls anymore are about the Death Eaters, Voldemort, the Educational Decree, or the High Inquisitor. None of these topics make me feel any better about my situation, so I keep to myself. Rumor has it that the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan are particularly rebellious toward the High Inquisitor. Lee Jordan had a detention with Umbridge for a remark he made toward her that led to his hand bleeding severely. I would pity him, but I don't have the emotional stability to do it right now.

My meeting with Nymphadora Tonks is approaching. That helps me keep going, too.

* * *

It feels like years have passed before Hogsmeade weekend comes back around. I walk behind Harry and Cho Chang. Pansy is nearby with Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and some other Slytherin girls, and it takes all of my willpower not to speak to him – "him" meaning Draco, of course; I couldn't care less about Crabbe or Goyle, or the rest of them for that matter.

Pansy giggles as she passes Harry and Cho, "Potter and Chang! Urgh, Chang, I don't think much of your taste… At least Diggory was good-looking!" My heart clenches for Cho as the Slytherins walk on, still giggling at Pansy's attack on Harry.

I slow down considerably and run into Hermione. "Where's Ron?" I ask her.

"There's a Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, and the team has to practice all day," she answers. She looks nervous. I almost ask why Harry isn't practicing until I remember how Draco had provoked him, causing Harry to attack him and later be banned from Quidditch for life, or something to that effect. The thought spurns an anger in me at Draco that I have never felt before. How could I have been so blind? Draco was an awful person. But that still isn't enough to squelch my love for him. Hermione breaks me from my reverie. "What are you planning on doing in Hogsmeade?"

"Meeting my cousin," I answer without thinking. My breath catches. No one is supposed to know that I've discovered my family…

"Your cousin?" Hermione is obviously interested and stunned at my slip up. "Does that mean you know…?"

I curse myself. I'm an idiot. A quick glance around lets me know that hardly anyone is around. "Yes," I say quietly. It feels good to talk about it with someone other than the professors, with someone who is my age.

Hermione smiles at me. "That's great, right!"

If only she knew… "Yeah…yeah, it's great," but my voice is flat and dead.

"What's wrong?" she asks me quietly.

"Just thinking about meeting her…" I lie.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. What's her name?" she replies.

For a moment, I think about ignoring her question altogether. But I've told no one about this meeting, not even McGonagall. I want someone to know. Besides, I'm sure she won't know who I'm talking about anyway. "Nymphadora Tonks," I answer.

Hermione stops completely and grabs my arm. Panic surges through me. "Nymphadora Tonks?" My hope deflates. I've said too much. "Nymphadora Tonks is your…your _cousin_? Is she your _first_-cousin?"

I cough awkwardly, wishing I could rewind these past few minutes. "Y-yeah…do, uh, do you know her?"

"Is her mother Andromeda Tonks, used to be Andromeda Black?" she says quietly. I nod. "But…" I can practically see her piecing the information together. "Andromeda Tonks only has two sisters…Bellatrix Lestrange…and…" her eyes light up, "Narcissa Malfoy."

"That's right," I whisper through my thick voice.

"You're not…?" I won't fill in the question for her. If she wants to know, she must ask me. She realizes this and continues, "You're not…Narcissa isn't…she's not…she's not your mother, is she?"

"No," I answer.

Watching her intently, I see the comprehension flicker in her face. "Bellatrix?"

I nod.

After a few minutes, she concludes, "So, so that's why you and Draco…?" Hermione has been one of the very few who have yet to ask me why Draco and I broke up. The break-up became obvious within days of returning to Hogwarts after the holidays, but she never asked.

"Yes," I answer, keeping my voice light, "we're cousins." I laugh for good measure, "I snogged my cousin for nearly four months."

"God, that…that's awful," she replies.

"Agreed," I say.

"How did you find out?"

I show her the pocket watch. "That was my great-uncle's. His name was Alphard Black."

She opens her mouth to say something but stops. Then she says, "So Bellatrix Lestrange…is really your mother?"

"My given name was Aurelia Lestrange…I don't claim them though." I frown. "Do you know what the first thing my dear mum said to me when she found out that I was her daughter…" I stop. The first thing she said was something about how it should have been who was to bear Voldemort's child. I still can't tell Hermione about that part of my life. "She said that she could Cruciate me long enough so I wouldn't remember any of it, if I wanted her to of course. She said that she could send me St. Mungo's so I wouldn't have live with the pain of being Draco's cousin…" I can't stop myself this time, "She said that she's done it before, sent someone to St. Mungo's with an addled mind before. Bragged about it, really…"

"St. Mungo's?" Hermione asks quietly.

"Yes," we start walking again. "It…it was…Neville's parents…the Longbottoms…" My lip quivers. "My mother ruined Neville's life…"

She's quiet for a minute. "That had nothing to do with you," she says firmly. "You can't blame yourself." I don't say anything, and another few minutes pass before she asks, "Who else knows?"  
"Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall," I answer. "And of course me, the Malfoys, and Bellatrix." I glance at her and quickly add, "Tell no one, Hermione. Please." She nods. "I'm still Charlotte Rodgers. I want nothing to do with that woman…"

"Of course," she promises.

"Not even Ron and Harry," I reply.

"I won't."

I clear my throat and change the subject. "So what are you planning on doing in Hogsmeade?"

"I'm meeting with Luna Lovegood. Her dad runs _The Quibbler_," her voice indicates that she is debating going farther. Whether it's because she can't hold it in anymore or because of what I've just told her, I'll never know, but she continues, "I'm trying to get Rita Skeeter to interview Harry about what happened when V-Voldemort came back…"

I smile. Maybe this will help get the word out. "That's great," I say honestly. "People deserve to know the truth." Hermione smiles at me, relieved. "I won't tell a soul."

"We're meeting in the Three Broomsticks around lunch," she tells me.

"That's where I'm meeting Tonks," I say.

When we get to Hogsmeade, Hermione leaves with Luna, and I go to a place I've heard quite a lot about – Zonko's Joke Shop. The Weasley twins often talk of this place, so I figured why not check it out? What have I got lose other than time? I step inside. There are shelves everywhere stocked with a bunch of tools for practical jokes. A quick survey of the place tells me that this is not the place for me. I guess it takes a special kind of personality to be attracted to a place like this.

I turn around to leave and run into none other than Fred Weasley who is followed closely by George Weasley and Lee Jordan. "Sorry," I mutter.

"Look who's decided to lighten up a bit and visit the best shop in Hogsmeade!" Fred says to his brother and friend. "Figured you'd become a practical joker too then, eh?"

"I was just leaving," I tell him. I try to go around him, but George steps in my way. "Let us show you around. You haven't even bought anything!"

"I wasn't interested," I reply.

"You're just not looking in the right place!" Fred tells me. "Come one. We'll help you. Experts like ourselves love helping beginners like you." Fred puts his hand on my back and parades me around the joke shop, pointing out things that he thinks I might like. One item in particular that he showed me with much enthusiasm Dungbombs. "Setting them off in the castle is a great way to entertain yourself at Filch's expense!" He insists that I buy some, which I do to make him stop nagging me about it.

When they finally let me leave the joke, which by now I regret ever entering, Fred says, "If you like that, you'll love the shop that George and I are going to open."

"'Course, Mum is set against us opening a joke shop," George says sadly.

"I can't imagine why," I say sarcastically.

Fred either doesn't register my sarcasm or just ignores it. "That's what we're saying! There's no harm in opening a joke shop!"

"It's not like we have enough O.W.L.s to enter the Ministry like she wants us to!" George laughs.

"If she had her way, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes would never see the light of day," Fred adds.

"Luckily though, we already have a donor who has so generously given us the money we need to start it. All we have to do is get out of school!" George rejoices.

"And we had better see you buying a load from our shop when it opens!" Fred demands.

"I'll keep that in mind," I say, trying to walk away.

"Where're you going now?" Fred says as he and George follow.

I just really wish they would leave me alone now. "Well," I say as professionally as I can manage. "I'm going to get a snack then wait for my friend."

"Friend meaning Malfoy?" George asks.

"God, no," I say quickly.

"Finally coming around to the good side, I see," Fred comments. "Finally realized how much of a git he really is."

I smile the best I can. "Yep."

Fred, George, and Lee Jordan follow me to Honeydukes. After we buy something to eat, they follow me to the Three Broomsticks and sit down with while I wait for Tonks to show up.

* * *

**What'd you think? She finally told Hermione. Do you think she'll ever be able to tell them about bearing Voldemort's child?**

**The greatest scene with the elixir won't come until Chapter 40:)**

**Leave a review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks for reading! Charlotte will definitely tell them; it's just a matter of when and how she tells them.**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Well, I did some research and learned that Ted Tonks was an only child. I figured that, since Hermione and Ginny and been kinda close-ish to Tonks, Tonks would have told them about her family and all, you know? Had I written the story in a way that wasn't first-person, I probably would have said something about that, but Charlotte wouldn't have known why Hermione jumped to that conclusion. Good point, though.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, she'll definitely tell, but it really just depends when it happens, you know? I mean, I already have it planned out, but I can't tell when it happens lol.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks fore reviewing! Eventually, she's gonna have to tell them. Things happen that require it...**

**ceb521: Thanks fore reviewing! The amount of time she's known them doesn't have much weight. It's really just because of who they are and what they stand for. It's a fear of their reactions that stop her**

* * *

**CHAPTER 23**

"Just give us hint!" Fred pleads. "Come on! There had to be a reason!"

I sigh. For the past half hour, the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan have been bombarding me with questions about Draco. Each time, I give them a vague answer, but they are very persistent. "Family problems," I say. "There's nothing that can be done about it…"

"Family problems?" George asks. "Like what! You can't just leave it like that!"

"Oh, I can and I will," I answer, finishing the last bit of my chocolate. "Don't worry about it."

"Just tell me this one thing," Fred replies. "Who ended it?"

"It was mutual!" I hiss at him. "Neither of us 'ended' it. It just…came to an end…"

"But there has to be a reason!" George argues.

"Not beyond that, there isn't." I look around, wondering when Tonks will show up. Then I realize: I have no idea what she looks like. "Seriously though," I say. "Listen. It was mutual. It came to an end. Nothing can be done about it. We'll _never_ date again. We're still on…cordial…terms."

Fred looks like he's about to say something else when George suddenly asks, "What's Tonks doing here?" My head jerks to where he is looking. A woman stands at the entrance. She has bubblegum pink hair. George waves to her. My heartbeat quickens. She's one of the few people in my family that isn't serving Voldemort. I smile. "Tonks! Over here!" George calls to her.

The woman with pink hair approaches us. "Wotcher?" she asks.

"Sitting around," Fred says. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to meet someone," she says happily. Her spirit is infectious, and I can't help but feel happier when she talks. "Have either of you seen a Charlotte Rodgers?"

"This is her right here!" Fred says while pointing at me. Then he looks me in the eye. "You didn't tell me it was Tonks who you were meeting!"

"Charlotte?" Tonks asks me. She offers her hand. I shake it. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," I say quietly. "How do you know Fred and George?"

"Family friends," she answers.

"How do _you_ know each other?" George asks us.

"Long story," Tonks says. Then she sits down beside George and says to the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan, "Can you give us a minute?" The three boys nod and leave the Three Broomsticks. Only after the door is closed does Tonks look back at me. "You look just like her…sort of."

"I noticed that, too, when the Ministry released their pictures," I say.

"Do you have any proof other similar appearances?" she asks me.

I think for a second. "Well, there's this." I show her my wand and tell her what Ollivander told me about it being made from the same tree and dragon heart as Bellatrix's wand had been.

She doesn't seem convinced. "Got anything else?"

"One thing." I hand her Uncle Alphard's pocket watch. "It was Alphard Black's," I explain. "He watched after me for a short while before putting me in an orphanage under the lie of me being Charlotte Rodgers. When I got out, I went to his home. This is one of the only things left."

"I spoke with my mother, Bellatrix's sister," Tonks says. "She said that Bellatrix had a daughter, but that the daughter had died."

"Bellatrix believed me to be dead," I tell her. "She was just as shocked as I when it came out that I was…that I am Aurelia."

"What was her reaction?" she asks me, still examining the watch.

"Anger…shock…disbelief…hatred…" I swallow, "jealousy."

Tonks looks up rather quickly. "Jealousy?" she repeats. "Was she not the least bit…happy…to know that her daughter was alive?"

I shake my head. "She would have preferred me dead…she offered to do so herself."

"What was she jealous of?" Tonks hands the pocket watch back to me.

I look around and say in a low whisper, "My duty to Voldemort."

Her face darkens. She begins to stand. "You implied in your letter that you were against You-Know-Who."

Before she can step away, I grab her arm. I will not lose this opportunity to know the only good family I have. "I am against him!" I say fiercely.

Tonks slowly sits back down, very skeptical. "Then what is this duty to him?" I move my chair closer to hers so I can tell her without anyone being able to hear me. In as little words as possible, I tell her about Voldemort choosing me to bear his child. Tonks face drops the more I explain. When I finally finish, she says, "And that's why Bellatrix was jealous? She wants to have that position herself?"

I nod. "And I would gladly give it to her if it were possible." I look away from her compassion-filled eyes. "Do you think…do you think Harry will be able to stop him again?"

"I believe so," Tonks answers me.

We remain quiet after that. I don't want to put too much faith in getting out of my duty to Voldemort, so I don't let my mind roam with the hopes that I might. "The article about the Death Eaters breaking out of Azkaban," I say.

"Which was obviously delayed," Tonks adds with a smile.

"Very delayed," I agree. "It said that Sirius was involved…"

"He wasn't," Tonks says firmly. "He has always been – and will always be – against You-Know-Who. He would never have freed them."

"Okay," I say quietly. Silence descends on us again. "Could you do me a favor, Tonks?"

She looks up at me. "Sure, Charlotte," she smiles.

"Could you tell your parents – and Sirius too if you can – about me? Not the duty to Voldemort, but about me being against him?" I ask quietly. "I want my family to know that I stand with them in this."

"Yes," she says.

"Do you think it'd be possible for me to meet them?" I ask quickly.

She averts her eyes from mine. "Maybe, if Dumbledore thinks it's a good idea…"

I don't say anything else about that. Instead, I say, "I hope you don't take offense to this, but…what's with the bubblegum hair?"

She laughs. "I'm a Metamorphmagus!" I pause. She takes this as me wondering what that is and says, "it's where I can –"

"I know what it is," I interrupt her. "I just…I've never met another one."

"Another one?" Tonks repeats. "You're a Metamorphmagus?"

"Yeah," I say. Then I add quickly, "Don't tell anyone. No one else knows."

Tonks smiles. "I'll keep it to myself."

We leave the Three Broomsticks as Hermione and Luna enter. Tonks greets Hermione before she turns to me. "It was good to meet you. It's nice to know that the House of Black is still fighting against You-Know-Who every day."

I give her a one-armed hug before I can stop myself. I spin and walk away from her.

I leave Hogsmeade more elated than I have been since the Christmas holidays. Things are finally beginning to look up for me. I head back to Hogwarts with a smile that I can't rid my face of. Not even the fact that it's Valentine's Day and I'm spending it without Draco can make me stop smiling.

* * *

Not wanting to speak to anyone for fear that this new emotional high that I'm on will be ruined, I go straight for the library. Most of the other students are away at Hogsmeade, and the first and second years don't really spend much time in the library. I can be totally alone to replay my entire conversation with Tonks again in my head.

I push the door open to find that there are more little first and second years sitting around in here than I would have imagined, at least twelve. This isn't what I wanted. I move past them to go to one of the window seats. Hogwarts, despite how depressing the place has been since Christmas, is still a wondrously beautiful place.

But everything erupts into flames as I turn the corner to sit down. They don't see me. But I see them. And it's too much to take. I thought they were in Hogsmeade. Oh, how wrong I truly was. Standing against one of the book shelves is none other than Pansy and Draco. And even from this angle, I can see her body pressed against him, and his lips attacking hers.

A sob breaks through me. I dart from the library, making sure not to look at anyone. Before I know it, I'm running through the corridors of Hogwarts, but I don't know where to go. The walls are closing in on me, and the floor is falling beneath my feet. Bitter cold overwhelms me. I don't know what to do.

It's been two months since Draco and I have been over, really. Our relationship ended the second day of the Christmas holidays, and even though we did not make it official until he got back to Hogwarts, we had both known that we were through. I just…I don't understand how he could already be snogging someone. The fact that it is Pansy just makes matters worse. It's always been obvious that she's had feelings for him.

I stumble against the stone wall, trying to catch my breath. But each time I try to inhale, my heart rips a bit farther. I sink to the floor. I was completely wrong about nothing ruining the joy Tonks had given me. Draco ruined it. Burying my face into my hands, I let the sobbing rupture my usual breathing. The chocolate I had in Hogsmeade spews out of my mouth. With a shaky hand, I take my wand out vanish it.

Fire burns in my throat and through my veins. I topple over and land on all fours, dry-heaving. How could this have happened? Voldemort has ruined everything. Had he not chosen me, I could still be living in Muggle homes and teaching myself magic. I would never have met Draco. I would never have fallen in love with him. I would never have had my heart yanked from my chest and burned in fire when I learned I was Draco's cousin. I throw my back against the wall and push myself to my feet.

Adrenaline rushes through me, and I take off running again. I'm not really sure where I'm going. I'm just letting my feet carry me, letting my subconscious control me. "Where are you going?" I hear a high-pitched, extremely girly voice ask me. I don't look for the source. I don't want to talk to some little first or second year. I keep running. I want to wallow in my own self-pity for a while. I want to do a little _Avada Kedavra_ on Pansy Parkinson (but I won't let myself do that; she's not worth life in Azkaban).

I stop in front of a door and start banging. I can't even register where I am. My mind is so fuzzy with thoughts of Draco, Bellatrix, Voldemort – so, really, anything that causes me pain. It's like my mind is pulling up every sad memory I've ever had, from reading Uncle Alphard's letter, to finding Uncle Alphard's dead body, to learning of Mrs. Stoico's death, to running for my life, to being hunted and chased by Lucius Malfoy. Memories pour into my mind like the blood pouring out of my ruptured heart.

The door opens. Through my blurry vision, I see Professor McGonagall. "Charlotte?" she asks me. It's then that I realize what I must look like. I can only imagine the disheveled features, the blotchy face from crying, the red eyes, the smeared make up. I try to ignore it. "What are you doing here?"

"C-can-can I…c-come i-in?" It's the first time that I've tried to speak since catching Draco and Pansy, and I would consider it an absolute fail. McGonagall nods and steps aside so I can enter.

"What's happened?" she asks me, closing the door. She puts her hand on my shoulder and leads me to the same chair I sat in the last time I came in here with a problem.

"Y-you s-said…th-that y-your…" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I have to calm down. I take another deep breath, and my body convulses with a sob. I whisper, "You s-said th-that your d-door –"

A knock at the said door interrupts me. McGonagall's lips thin with what looks like frustration. She closes her eyes as if praying for patience before she stands and goes to answer it. Umbridge walks in. "Do you need something, Dolores?" the Transfiguration Professor asks.

"I believe Charlotte Rodgers is in here," she replies. It's the same little voice I heard while running to McGonagall's office.

"Do you need her?" McGonagall asks.

"I do," Umbridge answers.

I take one more deep breath and will myself to calm down. Then I stand and face her. In a voice that is much stronger than I would have imagined possible, I ask, "Yes, Professor Umbridge?"

"When I ask a student where they are going," Umbridge says to me in a cold voice that fills me with despair, "I expect an answer. Do I make myself plain?"

"Yes, professor," I answer quietly.

Umbridge turns to leave – or so I thought she was leaving. Instead, she takes a seat in the back of the room. "Do you need something?" McGonagall asks her.

"Miss Rodgers seems oddly upset to be asking you a question about Transfiguration, Minerva," Umbridge states. "According to the Educational Decree Number Twenty-Six, teachers are forbidden to discuss topics with students other than the subjects that they are paid to teach."

"I don't believe that's exactly what it said," I reply.

"Whatever do you mean, Miss Rodgers?" Umbridge asks in her falsely sweet voice.

Before McGonagall can speak (it looks like she's about to), I jump in, quoting the decree that had prevented me from coming to McGonagall more often, "'By order of The High Inquisitor of Hogwarts: Teachers are hereby banned from giving students any information that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach. The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-Six.' And then you went on to sign your name as 'Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor of Hogwarts.'" I glance at McGonagall. I don't know if it's my new fury that keeps my voice even, I just know that I'm happy I can keep a fierce tone. I look into the toad eyes of Umbridge. "I believe I am entitled to talk to my professor about things as long as she does not give me information. Comfort is different than information, yes?"

Umbridge smiles with a false sweetness. Her voice is strained when she answers, "Why yes, I believe you are correct." She takes a seat. "Go on then."

I look back to McGonagall. "I appreciate your willingness to help me, professor," I state, "but I just realize that there is something I simply _must_ do. I'm afraid I cannot speak with you now."

"That's okay," McGonagall answers. She walks with me to the door and opens in a way that blocks Umbridge from being able to see us. The professor smiles at me and lips, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I silently say back.

She nods at me and closes the door. As I walk down the hall, I hear Umbridge leave McGonagall's office. I start to run again as the sorrow over Draco consumes me again. I never had a chance to get it off my chest because of Umbridge. Now it's building again. I close my eyes and blindly run through Hogwarts again.

I only stop when I run into a thick body. "Do you always run people over, or is it just a habit you've made when you greet me?" Fred Weasley asks me.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"No worries, I was Beater for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I can take a hit," he replies. I try to get around him. "Malfoy again?"

I look up at him. "What?"

"You're crying," he answers. "Last time I saw you cry was the first day back from the Christmas holidays. You and Malfoy were talking, and when he left, I could see that you were crying."

"Oh…" heat flushes my face.

"Nothing to be ashamed of," Fred says in his typical jolly voice.

"Where're George and Lee Jordan?" I ask him, trying to ignore the fact that I still have a few tears in my eyes.

"We're trying to sell some of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes," he says. "We figured starting in Hogwarts is the best place."

"You're probably right," I say. Again I try to get around him.

"Would you like to see some?" he asks me.

"Later," I reply. He walks beside me.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asks me quietly.

"Yeah, I've experienced far worse…"

Fred takes my shoulder and forces me to look at him. "You deserved better than him. Like I said, he's a tool."

"Thanks, Fred," I say quietly.

"Take this." He hands me a box. "It's one of our Skiving Snackboxes." He opens it and shows me one of them. "Eat this half, and it'll make you ill so you can get out of class. Then eat this one, and it'll make you all better so you can do whatever you want."

"How much?" I ask.

"It's on the house, for dumping Malfoy," he chuckles. "I hope you did it ruthlessly."

"Thanks…but it was mutual…" I mumble.

"Well, if he agreed to let you go, he's a right fool. I hope he's hurting." He smiles at me. "But you certainly don't deserve to be in pain over him. He's not worth it."

Something about what he says makes me feel better. Sure, he doesn't know the truth like McGonagall does, but I feel that in this short conversation Fred has helped me more than McGonagall could have. Maybe it's because he cut down Draco instead of keeping him in the same respect that McGonagall would have done. I close the Skiving Snackbox and smile at Fred. "Thanks." Before he has a chance to reply, something takes over. I reach up, quite like I did to Snape (except with different motives of course), and kiss Fred Weasley. But unlike Snape, Fred doesn't stiffen. Well, he does to begin with, but then he relaxes, even going so far as wrap his arms around my waste and pull me closer to him.

* * *

**What do you think about that? Odd, right. Just wait:)**

**Leave a review to let me know what you thought!**


	24. Chapter 24

**I'm sorry it has taken longer than usual. My internet has been down...**

**P.S. The Trelawney part came out of the book**

* * *

**Qoheleth: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you're still reading it at this point. I know the tone is light but that's because it's in Charlotte's perspective, and she is trying to keep her mind on the positive side. But the tone gets darker and more menacing, I promise. Thanks for liking the idea. P.S. I don't know any of the references you used...sorry lol**

** . 7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! You'll have to wait and find out about Fred/George lol. I'm keeping it as close to canon as possible. You'll also have to wait about the Metamorphmagus thing:) But yes, it did help her many times in the past. I'll talk about those later.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I can't tell you if Fred is gonna die or not...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 24**

"Weasley?" a voice snarls from somewhere beside us. Fred slightly stiffens but doesn't pull away from me. Then a strong force rams into us, separating us and throwing us both to the stone floor. Someone grabs my shoulders and hauls me to my feet. The touch is familiar. I open my eyes. Draco has now turned toward Fred, his wand drawn. "What do you think you're doing, Weasley?!"

Fred stands up but doesn't answer.

Draco shoves his wand against Fred's chest. "I asked you a question!"

Fred turns his nose up and remains quiet.

I whip out my wand and press it against Draco's back. "Put it away, Draco," I tell him.

Slowly, he listens then turns on me and forces me against the wall. "How could you?" he whispers.

"The same way you did with Pansy, in the library," I say quietly. My wand is now against his chest.

"You…you saw that?"

"Let go of me," I say to him. I ram my wand into him.

"Weasley is a blood traitor!" he hisses in a hushed tone. I clench my jaw. "You're a disgrace to the family!"

"She told you to let her go, Malfoy!" Fred growls. I can see him drawing his own wand.

"You and I have a different opinion about what 'disgraces' the family, Draco." I push him aside and take Fred by the hand. We've remained quiet so Fred couldn't hear us, but I'm through talking to Draco. "Come on, Fred," I say. "Let's get out of here." I glance back at a scowling Draco as we turn down the corridor.

Draco shouts, "This won't stay quiet for long, Aurelia! My father will hear about this! And make no mistake, he will tell my aunt! How do you think her master is going to take it?"

His words did just what had intended them to do. I release Fred's hand. "I'm so sorry," I say quietly. "Let's forget this ever happened."

"But –"

I don't give him a chance to finish. I sprint down the stairs and into the Slytherin common room, leaving Fred Weasley standing in the corridor, dumbfounded.

* * *

A few days pass. Fred and I have yet to speak. I don't know what I was thinking. When I had kissed Snape, it was purely to show him that Voldemort will not control me. But when I had kissed Fred…I honestly don't know why I did it. He was just being so nice to me. And I was hurting…still, I feel downright awful about it. If Bellatrix finds out, she'll tell Voldemort for sure. And if Voldemort finds out, there's nowhere on God's green earth that Fred could hide without Voldemort finding him.

There is only one thing that has keeps me sane when March rolls around. Hermione had apparently made Harry do an interview with Rita Skeeter at Hogsmeade that day, which is why she was with Luna Lovegood. The March edition of _The Quibbler_ quickly circulates through Hogwarts. Harry has finally told every detail about Voldemort's return.

But when Umbridge finds out, signs go up around the castle, banning _The Quibbler_. She's taken her punishments a step farther. Students found with a copy of the magazine will not be given detention. They will be expelled. If I didn't have Voldemort to worry about, I would gladly carry a copy of the magazine around. Expulsion would be gladly accepted at this point. No more Draco, no more Snape, no more school. But, then there's the Golden Trio, McGonagall, the Weasley twins. I'd miss all of them. Expulsion might not be the best solution for me.

My favorite part of the interview was when Harry openly announced the fathers of Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle to be Death Eaters. How I had not expected Crabbe and Goyle of being born to Death Eaters, I'll never know. But I don't doubt it for a moment. Draco has become withdrawn, which makes it easier to move on. I have openly been seen talking to the Golden Trio and the other Weasleys (but never to Fred about the kiss, and he doesn't bring up anything that happened that day).

Things are beginning to look up for me. That is, until Snape calls me into his office one afternoon. I know Harry's Occlumency lesson is to start soon, so this conversation can't last too long. What I probably should piece together before Snape closes his office door is that, if this meeting is about something I do not want to do, Snape has planned it out so I am not able to put up a fight. I soon learn that this is just what he had done. "Take a seat, Miss Rodgers," Snape says. "This won't take long."

I sit down.

"I have just gotten word from Malfoy Manor," he begins. I squirm in the chair. Draco has probably told the family that I am becoming friendly with blood traitors, Mudbloods, and Harry Potter.

"About what?" I keep my voice even.

"The Easter holidays are coming up," he continues, "and I have been charged with the duty of making sure you are at Malfoy Manor for said holidays."

"No!" I argue, hopping to me feet. "I won't!"

Snape looks at me with a type of sorrow I have never seen in him before. "I am afraid that you have no choice."

"What do they want with me?" I shout. "What good can possibly come from me going to see _them_?"

Snape stands. "This will be difficult to hear, Miss Rodgers."

I nod, already beginning to panic.

"The Dark Lord wants to have a word with you," he says solemnly.

I stumble away from his desk, and catch myself on the chair. "A-ab-about what?" I stammer breathlessly. My hands cover my face, and I scream into them. Trembling profusely, I reach for the door.

"I do not know, but I have a fairly good idea," Snape comments quietly.

"I-I c-can't…I h-have…t-to go-go now," I open the door. "Al-always a p-pl-pleasure, p-p-professor." I dash from his room, passing Harry along the way. We nod to each other but do not speak. I couldn't speak if my life depended on it.

I am trying to make my way to McGonagall's office when I see her in the hall. I go to her and tap on her shoulder. She turns, obviously confused as to why a student would tap on her to get her attention rather than calling out her name. She sees me, and the confusion vanishes. "What's happened?"

"I-I…Easter…meet…" I'm all but hyperventilating right now, "It…Voldemort…meet …Malfoy Manor…Easter…" I close my eyes to regain control of myself. "Blood traitor…Mudbloods…Harry…" I suppress a sob. "Fred…the kiss…" I look into her eyes. "He'll kill him…! And me…help me, professor!"

McGonagall goes into professor mode to the extreme. She puts her hand on my shoulder and leads me to the window. "Charlotte," she says, "take a deep breath." She does so herself as if trying to remind me how to do it. My breaths are still choppy. She takes another deep breath, her hand going up as she inhales and down as she exhales. This helps me, and I take a slow, deep breath. "Let's go through this again, okay. What's happened?"

"I…have to meet," I take another deep breath, "during Easter holidays…there's nothing I can do…" deep breaths, deep breaths, "I have no choice…I have to meet him…during Easter." My eyes dart away from her so I can overlook the Hogwarts grounds. I whisper, barely audible to even me, "Voldemort."

McGonagall leads me away from the window. "Let's go for a walk," she suggests. We start walking down the stairs, but I don't know where she's taking me. "How did you learn of this?"

"I…I can't say," I tell her. I doubt it would be safe to tell her that Snape has been in contact with the Malfoys and that he's the one who relayed the message to me.

"How can you be sure this is what will happen?" she asks me. We walk at a brisk pace.

"I just know it is," I reply. "I can't say how…"

"Is it a feeling?" she asks. "Or has someone actually told you?"

"I was told…in a letter," I lie. McGonagall remains quiet. "Where are we going?"

"Just walking," she says. "Professor Umbridge is not likely to wonder why you are walking alongside of me as much as she would wonder why you were in my office or why we were talking in the corridors." It makes enough sense, I guess. "How did this letter come in without having been inspected by the High Inquisitor?"

"I don't know…it just…showed up," I struggle when it comes to lying to McGonagall. I feel as if she can see right through me.

Her face clearly says she knows I'm lying, but she doesn't prod farther. "Is there any way you can get out of it?"

"Get out of a direct order from You-Know-Who?" I reply.

"Was it a direct order from him, or was it a direct order from someone else?" she answers.

"I…I don't know. But I'm fairly certain it was a direct order from him…" I whisper.

McGonagall is about to say something when shrieks of sorrow stop her. We both become alert, trying to see where the blood-curdling sound had come from. McGonagall speeds off toward the entrance hall. Students are flooding out of the Great Hall and cramming themselves in any place they could get a view of what is happening. Professor Trelawney stands in the entrance hall, looking absolutely insane. Two large trunks are on the floor beside her. She stares, horrified, at Umbridge.

Snape and Harry arrive from the dungeons. Something seems off about Snape.

"No!" Trelawney wails. "NO! This cannot be happening… It cannot… I refuse to accept it!"

"You didn't realize this was coming?" Umbridge answers. My blood begins to boil. I have a feeling I know where this is going. "Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrow's weather, you must surely have realized that your pitiful performance during my inspections, and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable you would be sacked?" Her voice is almost amused. My hatred for her flares even hotter.

"You c-can't!" Trelawney howls, not doing anything to hide her tears, "you c-can't sack me! I've b-been here for sixteen years! H-Hogwarts is m-my h-home!"

"It _was_ your home," Umbridge replies; it's infuriating to see the enjoyment Umbridge takes in sacking this poor woman; I mean, sure, she might not be the greatest professor ever, but she deserves better than this, "until an hour ago, when the Minister of Magic countersigned the order for your dismissal. Now kindly remove yourself from this hall. You are embarrassing us."

Trelawney doesn't move. She remains there, shaking in fits of sorrow-induced agony. McGonagall doesn't even glance back at me as she rushes forward and begins to comfort Trelawney. "There, there, Sybill… Calm down… Blow your nose on this… It's not as bad as you think, no… You are not going to have to leave Hogwarts…"

"Oh really, Professor McGonagall?" Umbridge asks in a deadly cold voice. "And your authority for that statement is…?"

"That would be mine," a deep voice rings through the hall. I look around. Students hurry to move out of the way as Dumbledore appears. He had been out on the grounds. He strides forward to where Trelawney sits weeping on her trunk and where McGonagall stand like a valiant protector over the poor lady.

"Yours, Professor Dumbledore?" Umbridge says. "I'm afraid you do not understand the position. I have here," she waves a parchment around for all to see, "an Order of Dismissal signed by myself and the Minster of Magic. Under the terms of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts has the power to inspect, place upon probation, and sack any teacher she – that is to say, I – feel is not performing up to the standard required by the Minister of Magic. I have decided that Professor Trelawney is not up to scratch. I have dismissed her."

I expected Dumbledore to be taken aback. But he is not in the very least. He is smiling.

"You are quite right, of course, Professor Umbridge. As High Inquisitor you have every right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle. I am afraid that the power to do that still resides with the headmaster, and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney continue to live at Hogwarts," Dumbledore answers.

Pride swells up inside of me. Dumbledore truly is a great man and wizard. No wonder he is the only one that Voldemort ever feared. I look at Umbridge's cold face. She is not happy. I can't help but smile. Again, her own decrees have been thrown I her face due to technicalities. Sure, Dumbledore did it in a much more professional way than Lee Jordan or I had done, but either way, Umbridge had been shown that we will not bow to her rules.

Professor McGonagall, with the assistance of Professor Sprout, escorts Professor Trelawney into the castle. Professor Flitwick hurries behind them, enchanting the trunks to go with them.

Umbridge remains where she is, frozen in a state of bewilderment and anger. "And what are you going to do with her once I appoint a new Divination teacher who needs her lodgings?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem," Dumbledore answers her pleasantly. "You see, I have already found us a new Divination teacher, and he will prefer lodgings on the ground floor."

"You've found," he voice is creepily shrill, "_you've_ found? Might I remind you, Dumbledore, that under Educational Decree Twenty-two –"

"– the Ministry has the right to appoint a suitable candidate if – and only if – the headmaster is unable to find one," Dumbledore corrects her. It takes all of my willpower to cheer and applaud Dumbledore. "And I am happy to say that on this occasion I have succeeded. May I introduce you?" A centaur enters the doorway. "This is Firenze. I think you'll find him suitable."

Umbridge, who is known for hating half-breeds such as werewolves and Hagrid, is none too happy about this arrangement. Within minutes, she has stormed off. The students trickle away. Firenze follows Dumbledore to his new lodgings. I wait right where I am. When Dumbledore emerges alone, I approach him. "That was amazing," I tell him.

"I'm rather glad you enjoyed it," he says cheerily. I walk beside him a few steps. Then he says, "I got a letter from your cousin. I believe there is something you wish to ask me."

"Tonks wrote you?" I ask.

"She did, but I don't believe that's the question you really want to ask, is it?" he answers.

"No, sir," I answer. I gather my courage, and say, "I would like to meet Sirius – Sirius Black."

"And why is that?" Dumbledore asks me. We are almost to his office.

"Well…it's just that…Sirius was believed to be a murderer for twelve years…he was in Azkaban…" I stop. None of that really makes any sense. "I don't know why I want to meet him, professor…I just do. Tonks said that the only way I could meet him was if you agreed."

Dumbledore remains quiet for a few moments. "From what I hear from the professors," part of me assumes he is mainly talking about McGonagall, possibly Snape, but I doubt the latter, "it would be good for you to meet your family. I hear you've been…struggling…with your parentage." I don't say anything. "If you could meet Tonks over the Easter holidays, I could have her escort you to him."

I swallow, but my burning throat refuses to let me. I half choke. "I have to meet…Voldemort…over the holidays," I say quietly.

"I do not believe that will take you all week," he replies. He meets my eyes. "You can Apparate to Hogsmeade if you get a chance. Tonks will be there every day." We stop walking now that we have made it to the gargoyle statue. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some things that I must attend to."

Dumbledore didn't seem the least bit surprised that I am meeting Voldemort. Someone must have told him. But to my knowledge, the only people that know about that are Snape, McGonagall, and I. I certainly didn't tell him beforehand, and McGonagall hasn't had a chance. That only leaves Snape. But why would Snape tell Dumbledore about that?

Answerless, I shrug off my question and walk away. Joy has reentered my life. I will have the chance to meet Sirius Black. Anything to do with Snape can wait.

* * *

**Review and tell me what you thought!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi! The scene in Dumbledore's office came from the book! Just thought I'd say so...**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I love Dumbledore and Snape too! And...well, there's one person who doesn't love Snape...Lily... OK, I'm sorry, I shouldn't joke about that. Never again I promise lol:)**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! You're right, Fred doesn't completely let it go... She meets him in the next chapter! Their first meeting isn't going to be extremely spectacular. It's important, but it's not as spectacular as some of the ones that follow:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 25**

I sit next to Hermione in Arithmancy the day after Firenze joined the Hogwarts staff. "Did you see Umbridge's face when Dumbledore undermined her like that?" I ask quietly, unable to keep the joy from my voice.

"Yes!" Hermione replies, just as thrilled about Dumbledore's cleverness over Umbridge as I am. Then her voice becomes more serious, "But I'm afraid about what might happen though…she'll find away to get revenge."

"You're probably right, but still, it was nice to see her put in her place," I say. Hermione agrees, but our conversation about Umbridge quickly dies.

Perhaps it's because Hermione is still the only student here at Hogwarts that knows the truth about me or maybe it's because she just has a quality about her that makes me want to tell her anything, I say, "I'm going to meet another one of my cousins over the Easter holidays."

"Really? Who?" she asks.

"Don't tell anyone," I reply. "But it's Sirius Black. Now, I know what you must be thinking, but he's not guilty –"

"I know him," Hermione interrupts me. "He's Harry's godfather."

Dumbledore and Tonks had both neglected to tell me that. "What's he like?" I ask.

"I'm not going to ruin the surprise!" she replies. "You'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

As I had feared, creating a Patronus is out of the question. In the Room of Requirement, tons of Patronuses dash around the room, but my wand refuses to conjure up one, no matter how hard a try. It's probably because when I think of a happy memory, Draco is sitting beside me. Then the memory goes from happy to sad without warning, and the silver light that had tried emerging from my wand dies out.

I'm not the only one who seems to be failing though, which is the only positive I see at the moment. Lavender and Neville are both struggling. But Neville's struggle only makes mine much worse. Had my mother not tortured his parents to the point of insanity, he would probably have more happy memories to use for his Patronus. It's no secret that he's had a hard life. Glancing around the room, I see Fred and George in a conversation. Hermione is talking to Ron. Harry is talking to Cho. No one would notice if I slip out of the D.A. meeting. So I do just that. I go the third floor and just wander around.

My wandering is cut short not fifteen minutes later by Umbridge hustling through the castle, straight to the headmaster's office, with Harry in her clutches. She says victoriously, "Fizzing Whizbee!"

I dash to find someone who can give me answers, and unfortunately for me, the first person I find is Fred. "Fred!" I call to him from the other side of the hall. He turns and smiles at me then comes toward me. "What's happened?"

"Someone's squealed about the D.A.!" he growls. "Harry was taken by Umbridge!"

"I saw her taking him to Dumbledore's office!" I inform him. Fred and I run back to the gargoyle statue in silence. "Do you trust me?"

"That point is up for debate at the moment," Fred answers flatly.

"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry about that!" I reply. "But I need you to trust me now." I take out my wand. "I've never used this charm on anything bigger or more complex than a dead wolf. But I want to see what's going on. Don't you?"

Fred smiles. "Mischief is one of my specialties. Give it a try." I take a deep breath and cast a Disillusionment Charm on Fred. He jerks his hand to his hair. "What'd you put in my hair?" he asks suddenly. He stops when he looks down at himself. He's become a human chameleon. "Nice."

I take my wand and cast the charm over myself like I'm wrapping myself in rope. I take on the same effect that Fred did. "I don't know how long this will last. We have to hurry." I look back at the gargoyle statue, "Fizzing Whizbee!" The statue moves aside. I take Fred by the hand and lead him to the headmaster's office. "Keep quiet," I whisper.

When we reach the top of the stairs, Dumbledore's office door is still open. Inside are McGonagall, Dumbledore, Harry, and Umbridge, but none of them surprise me. The people that do surprise me are Cho's friend whose name I can't remember, the Minister of Magic, a rather brute-looking wizard, a gray-haired wizard, and a redheaded boy that looks so much like the other Weasleys that I have to assume he is one.

We've missed part of the conversation, because I hear Dumbledore say, "Oh, can she tell us about six months' worth of meetings? I was under the impression that she was merely reporting a meeting tonight."

Umbridge speak up, "Miss Edgecombe," that's her name: Marietta Edgecombe, "tell us how long these meetings have been going on, dear. You can simply nod or shake your head. I'm sure that won't make the spots worse." I don't see any spots on Marietta from this angle. "Have they been happening regularly over the last six months? Just not or shake your head, dear." Umbridge is trying her best to coax the girl to speak, but she won't. "Come on, now, that won't activate the jinx further…"

Marietta shakes her head.

"I don't think you understood the question, did you, dear? I'm asking whether you've been going to these meetings for the past six months? You have, haven't you?"

I feel like I'm standing on a ledge, and Marietta's answer will decide whether I'm shoved over or not. She shakes her head.

"What do you mean by shaking your head, dear?" Umbridge is angry now.

"I would have thought her meaning was quite clear," McGonagall says severely. "There have been no secret meetings for the past six months. Is that correct, Miss Edgecombe?"

She nods.

"But there was a meeting tonight!" Umbridge shouts. "There was a meeting, Miss Edgecombe, you told me about it, in the Room of Requirement! And Potter was the leader, was he not, Potter organized it, Potter – _why are you shaking your head, girl?"_ Umbridge has dropped all false pretenses of kindness.

"Well," I cannot wait to hear what McGonagall has to say this time, "usually when a person shakes their head," her voice is crueler than I have ever heard it before, "they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans –"

Umbridge grabs Marietta up and shakes her viciously. I tighten my hold on Fred's hand. Dumbledore stands, casts a spell at Umbridge who in turn jumps back like her hands have been burned, and tells her that he will not tolerate her "manhandling" the students.

The brute wizard tells her to calm down. Umbridge gives a pathetic excuse of "having lost herself for a moment."

The Minister of Magic speaks for the first time since Fred and I have been watching. "Dolores, the meeting tonight – the one we know definitely happened –"

"Yes," Umbridge has returned to her normal self. She tells them about how Marietta had tipped her off and about how they had gone to the Room of Requirement. Marietta had gone inside and retrieved the list. My heart plummets. She hands it over to Cornelius Fudge.

"Excellent. Excellent, Dolores," he says. "And…by thunder…" He looks at Dumbledore. "See what they've named themselves. _Dumbledore's Army_."

Dumbledore takes the paper. "Well, the game is up," he says calmly. "Would you like a written confession from me, Cornelius – or will a statement before these witnesses suffice?"

Fred's hand tightens in mine this time. This has taken an awful turn. Fudge pieces together the information. I hear him stutter some things off, but I don't really listen to him. I'm watching McGonagall and the brute wizard. Both have exchanged fearful looks.

"You recruited these students for – for your army?" he asks.

Tears prick the back of my eyes as Dumbledore continues. "Tonight was to be the first meeting, merely to see whether they would be interested in joining me. I see now that it was a mistake to invite Miss Edgecombe, of course."

"Then you _have_ been plotting against me!" Fudge screams.

"That's right," Dumbledore replies cheerfully. Even under these circumstances, I can't help but smile at Dumbledore's confidence.

I bite my tongue to keep back my arguments and let Harry do that for me. I don't listen to what he says. I'm busy staring at Dumbledore. How could he willingly do this?

"You will be escorted back to the Ministry, where you will be formally charged and then sent to Azkaban to await trial!" Fudge rejoices.

"I thought we might hit this snag."

"Snag? I see no snag, Dumbledore!" the Minister shouts.

"Well," comes Dumbledore's apologetic answer, "I'm afraid I do."

"Oh really?"

"Well – it's just that you seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to – what is the phrase? 'Come quietly.' I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course – but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing."

I have to suppress the urge to cheer for Dumbledore, much like I had to do when Umbridge had tried to get rid of Trelawney.

"So, you're going to take us all on then, single-handed?" Fudge sneers.

"Merlin's beard, no" Dumbledore answers with a smile. "Not unless you are foolish enough to force me to."

"He will not be single-handed!" McGonagall announces.

"Oh yes he will, Minerva!" Dumbledore tells her. "Hogwarts needs you!"

"Enough of this rubbish!" the Minister shouts. "Dawlish! Shacklebolt! _Take him!"_

There's a streak of silver light and a loud bang. Fred and I jerk behind the doorway as the chaos ensues. Fred has me pressed against the wall as if protecting me with his own body. When it calms down, we shift back to see what happened. McGonagall has both Harry and Marietta forced to the floor to protect them, much like Fred had done to me moments ago. Dumbledore approaches them through the dust-filled room. "Are you all right?" he asks them.

"Yes!" the other professor answers, pulling herself and the two students to their feet.

Dumbledore has completely destroyed his office. All those in the room from the Ministry are sprawled, unconscious, on the floor. Dumbledore is still talking to McGonagall, but I can't hear what he says. He's being too quiet.

"Where will you go, Dumbledore?" McGonagall asks. "Grimmauld Place?"

"Oh no," he says with a grimace. "I am not leaving to go into hiding. Fudge will soon wish he'd never dislodged me from Hogwarts, I promise you…"

"Let's get out of here," Fred whispers. As he says it, I know Dumbledore knows we're there. He looks right us as the phoenix bird circles the office and flies low to him, taking him in a flash of fire. Fred and I dodge away, exiting the gargoyle statue but not slowing. We don't stop until we've made it to the fifth floor. I take the charm off of us. "Dumbledore…"

"Umbridge…she'll have free reign now…" I say solemnly.

We stand in silence for a good twenty minutes. "We have to tell everyone what happened. How Dumbledore took out two Aurors, the Minister, Umbridge, and Percy. Everyone has to know!" Fred states.

"Who's Percy?" I ask him quietly.

"My git of a brother. We don't speak of him much," Fred answers swiftly. Silence takes over for another few minutes. "You've got to teach me that charm!"

"Maybe," I tell him. I bite my lip. "About what happened in February…"

"Why did Malfoy call you Aurelia? And why does it matter if his aunt finds out we kissed?" he replies. Now that I've broached the subject, I'm sure more questions will come.

"I don't know who Aurelia is," I lie. "His aunt is a Death Eater…Bellatrix Lestrange. I don't why it matters if she knows we kissed…"

Fred looks just as confused as I am about that awful answer. Even to me, it sounded pathetic.

"Anyways…about the kiss…" I say.

"Don't worry about," he replies.

"It's just…I'm really sorry…" I reply quietly.

Before I know what's happening, Fred has pressed his lips against mine and is kissing me again. He pulls away a moment later. "We're even now, okay?" I nod, breathless. Then we part company, me to the Slytherin Dungeons and Fred to the Gryffindor Tower.

The next day, through much effort by me and Fred, everyone knows the truth, but no one remembers who spread it. Wildfire had swept through the school. Each time I hear the story, it becomes more and more elaborate.

Unfortunately, the amazing news of Dumbledore's escape has to be shared with the news of Umbridge becoming Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I run into – quite literally, in fact, which is becoming a trend – Fred Weasley in the hallway. George is with him this time. "The headmistress is going to be in for a surprise," Fred tells me.

"What are you going to do?" I ask him.

"You'll have to wait and see," George answers.

"Will it get you into trouble?" I ask quietly.

"We no longer care about getting into trouble, Charlotte!" Fred laughs. "We're past that now!"

"Don't hurt yourselves," I reply.

"Never," George says.

"Just make sure to watch your back," Fred warns me. Before he takes off again, he looks down at me and tentatively bends to kiss me. I meet him halfway.

When we pull away, I say, "We're no longer even." He smiles at me; then George pulls him along.

Fred and George set off the best prank I have ever seen. I can only say that I'm glad Umbridge got what has been coming to her. Dragon fireworks parade through the halls. Umbridge and Filch work frantically to put an end to it, but it doesn't work.

In McGonagall's class, when more dragons enter, she sends a student to get Umbridge, though I'm sure she could have ended if she wanted to. Things turn from bad to worse for the headmistress. She spends the entire afternoon running from classroom to classroom, aiding teachers that could have ended the entire thing themselves, the best sign of rebellion I have ever seen.

But I feel that this newfound rebellion comes to a halt when the Easter holidays finally arrive. The Weasley twins have given us quite a show, but they say that they are going to tone it down for the holidays, which most fifth-year students will be using to study for the O.W.L.s. Of course, I'm not "most fifth-year students." I'm different. And when it comes time to leave for Easter, I find myself on the Hogwarts Express in an empty compartment. This time, my departure from Hogwarts is not filled with anticipation as had been the case for Christmas (before that had burned to hell). This time, my departure is filled with nothing but fear.

Not only will I be forced to see my mother – Bellatrix Lestrange – but also Lord Voldemort himself. And that in and of itself is enough to make me wish I had died alongside Uncle Alphard.

* * *

**What'd you think? Voldemort's coming up!**


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm updating at midnight because it's my birthday (17 finally!), and I figured: Why not give my readers a gift of two updates in a single day (that day being the 21, as it is right now in my time zone). So anyways, I'll update once more today, probably somewhere around noon. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! And I hope this was fast enough :)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Only certain members of the Order know about her (and by know about her I mean her family of course). Well, in the book, they actually don't go to Grimmauld Place for Easter. They stay and study. It's that weekend that Fred and George make their escape. About the Charlotte getting pregnant, I can't tell whether she will or not... She talks to Narcissa about it in the next chapter. But I guess it's pretty safe to say that if the "nightmare" cannot be avoided, it will have to be the normal way. Voldemort's scene isn't very long in this chapter because it bleeds over into the next:) Thanks for reviewing regularly!**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! I enjoyed writing the Voldemort scene! I updated faster than usual!**

**Rowan: Thanks for reviewing! I updated faster this time:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 26**

The Hogwarts Express stops, along with the steady beating of my heart. I open the compartment door and solemnly walk down the aisle with my bag slung over my shoulder. I didn't bring much. I'm not expecting to stay with the Malfoys long. If all goes the way I hope, I'll be in Hogsmeade by tomorrow morning and meeting Sirius Black by tomorrow afternoon.

Without speaking to anyone, I go through Platform 9¾, not knowing whom to look for. Maybe I can skip out and blame whoever was supposed to pick me up. Happy that my spur-of-the-moment plan might actually work, I briskly walk down each of the platforms, trying to escape. "Charlotte!" I hear a frantic voice. I close my eyes and sigh. So close… I turn. Narcissa Malfoy comes toward me. "Charlotte!" She's much calmer now. "Oh thank God I found you!"

"Narcissa," I reply flatly, "I was honestly hoping you wouldn't find me…"

She takes me by the arm. "Nonsense, dear, come with me." My aunt leads me to a car similar to the Ministry car I rode in last time I went to the Malfoys. We both crawl into the back, sitting across from each other (wouldn't want to get to close), and look at each other in a gloomy silence.

After just a few minutes, I can no longer take it, "How long am I going to be with my oh-so-loving family?" I ask her sarcastically.

"I'm not sure, Charlotte," she answers sadly. "The Dark Lord," I tense at the mention of him, "will arrive either today or tomorrow. How long it takes after that, I can't say. It depends on what he wants…"

I try to not to think of what Voldemort might want from me. I look down and fidget with my hands, willing my tears not to come. My pride won't tolerate crying in front of Narcissa Malfoy.

"Charlotte…" she says quietly. I look up to see a blurry blond woman watching me with sadness etched onto her face.

"Yeah?" I whisper, trying my best to force indignation into my voice. She sees right through it and moves to sit next to me. She takes my hand in one of hers and puts her other on my knee in an oddly comforting way.

"Charlotte," she says again. "I know…I know that you and I…well, it's no secret that we've had our differences." She offers me a weak smile. "But, you made Draco happier than I have seen him in a while…and I just…" she fades off. I'm surprised to find myself disappointed when she removes her hand from my knee to wipe a tear. "I hate that things worked out this way." I can't look at her, so I look down. "He…he truly…he really did love you."

That gets my attention, and my eyes flutter to hers. "I…I loved him too, Narcissa," I whisper.

"Granted, I was shocked when he showed up with you," she continues. "But, if things were different…you not being his cousin and not promised to the Dark Lord…I would have approved of the two of you." She rubs the back of my hand. "The two of you were obviously happy together."

A sob tears its way through my chest and jumps out of my mouth. I quickly regain composure to the best of my ability. "Do…is…will…" I don't know how to phrase my question without openly displaying the fact that I am against Voldemort. "Is there any way Voldemort would choose another, instead of me?"

Narcissa wipes a tear from my cheek and brushes some of my hair out of my face. "I…I don't think so, dear."

Another sob breaks free, and I find myself wrapping my arms around Narcissa and burying my face into her shoulder. "I'm scared, Narcissa!" I wail.

She rubs my back gently. "I know you are, Charlotte," is all she says.

Contrary to what I thought would happen, Narcissa does not pull back. She remains a rock I can cry on and lean upon. I am the one that pulls away. I wipe my tears. "I'm sorry," I whisper. In answer, she shakes her head. I take this as her saying that it's okay. We're both quiet for a moment as we regain control of our emotions. "Narcissa?"

"Yes?"

"Why…why…how did I supposedly die?" I blurt out.

For a split second, she is taken aback. Then she says, "Well, your mother was a very proud supporter of the Dark Lord," she seems uncomfortable, "even after his death. She…she and Rodolphus – her husband, your father – continued the Dark Lord's work. Before his death, he chose you. Bellatrix, she didn't know about it. Neither did Rodolphus. The Dark Lord told only me and Lucius. We were supposed to look after you…"

I swallow the lump in my throat. I don't know if I want to hear the rest of this. But I don't stop her.

"Bellatrix told me to hide you. She felt that people were after you, because of who she was – is. I took you and gave you to Alphard. No more than six months later, Alphard contacted us and told us that you had been killed…a stray curse. It was no surprise that you were still in danger with Alphard." She struggles to find the words. "Regulus had hated him ever since he had helped Sirius; Sirius and Regulus were brothers. Alphard claimed that Regulus had found him and attacked. You were…caught by a curse during the duel.

"The Dark Lord was furious, as you can imagine." She closes her eyes. "I don't know what the Dark Lord did, exactly, but Regulus…he died." She opens her eyes again. "But it had been becoming obvious for a while that Regulus was having second thoughts about serving the Dark Lord. But once you give your life to him, there's no going back.

"The Dark Lord, just before his death, informed Lucius and me that he had found another. Her name was Charlotte Rodgers. We didn't know it was the same child. We'd never laid eyes on you until you had escaped the orphanage. The Dark Lord had commissioned us to collect you when you turned eleven. But you were already gone… We couldn't risky our family's safety, so Lucius began hunting you and employing others to do the same.

"We did not know that you were Aurelia Lestrange until…well, the Christmas holiday."

"But Voldemort knew, didn't he?" I ask her. She paled at my saying Voldemort's name.

"I believe so," Narcissa says. "Whether he found you before or after Regulus's death, I don't know. But he definitely knew who you were."

"And he didn't tell my mother? He didn't tell Bellatrix – his greatest follower – that her daughter was alive?" I reply.

Narcissa bites her lower lip. "Bellatrix became…overly fierce after your death. She devoted every minute to the Dark Lord when she lost you. He didn't want to lose her ferocity. She was always his greatest follower, but when she lost you, Charlotte, she far surpassed everyone else."

I grimace. "You expect me to believe that, Narcissa?" I ask. "After the way she responded to me being alive?"

"Yes," she says plainly. "Bellatrix lived for nearly fifteen years believing you to be dead. She had come to terms with it. Seeing you only brought up the horror of when you died. She didn't expect that. Then to learn of your duty to the Dark Lord…"

"And so she threatened to Cruciate me?" I ask her dryly.

Narcissa take my hand in hers. "You have to see the world they way Bellatrix does, Charlotte."

"Meaning?"

"The world is strictly a place for power to be grown and harvested," Narcissa begins. "After Azkaban, Charlotte, nothing – other than her devotion to the Dark Lord – matters to her anymore. She…she is devoted to him beyond anyone else. The fact that he chose you…that killed her, Charlotte. I think…I think she was reminded of the world outside of Azkaban and outside of the Dark Lord when she saw you. She…she saw using the Cruciatus Curse as a way to save you from him."

"Only because she wants to be the one given the 'privilege' to have his child!" I argue.

"That's only partially true," Narcissa answers.

"Then tell me the whole truth!" I command.

She takes a deep breath. "The Dark Lord chose you as punishment for her."

"Punishment?" I repeat quietly.

"Yes, from the moment you were born, it was obvious that her affections for you rivaled her affections for the Dark Lord. He wanted to make an example of her. She was right to believe that people were after you when you were a child, Charlotte. But they weren't trying to kill you. They were trying to capture you for the purpose of the Dark Lord. Bellatrix only had six months with you before you were sent to Alphard and then presumed dead," Narcissa answers me.

I can't keep the skeptical laugh out of my voice, "Then why does she hate me so much? I want to believe you, but…she obviously doesn't want me to be her daughter! If she loved me the way you say she did, she would have been happy to find me alive!"

Narcissa just shakes her head. "Charlotte, there are two reasons why she would not want you to be her daughter," she says calmly. "First, if you are not her daughter, it will be easier for her to watch you go through your duty. Because honestly – and I don't mean to frighten you anymore – it's quite a horrifying duty. Second, she has already bore the pain of Aurelia Lestrange dying. If you are not her daughter, if you are Charlotte Rodgers and not Aurelia Lestrange, it will not be as painful if something happens to you, which there is always a possibility of when you get mixed up with the Dark Lord. She can't go through your death twice. She doesn't want you to be Aurelia because, if you are not, then the mother in her will not overtake the Death Eater in her. She can't go through that again."

"So…to me, she will be Bellatrix Lestrange, and to her, I will be Charlotte Rodgers?" I ask.

"I'm afraid so, yes," Narcissa answers.

"You're 'afraid so?' Are you kidding me?" I laugh. "That makes life so much easier for me!"

Narcissa looks as if she is about to say something but runs out of time when the car stops. We are at Malfoy Manor.

My aunt leads me to the same large dining room in which my life has crumbled around me once before. I try to keep thoughts of Draco and what happened over Christmas out of my mind, but I find that much harder to do when I am in his home. I take a seat far from where I sat last time. Narcissa sits down as well in a seat across from mine.

Lucius walks in. "Aurelia," he says through gritted teeth.

I glower at him. "Don't ever call me that," I growl.

"You are invading my home. I'll call you whatever I see fit to call you," he answers coldly.

I sigh. "Don't make me complain to the Dark Lord about your hospitality, Lucius," I reply harshly. "I don't want to cause my own uncle's torturous death…but I will if it comes down to that."

He glares at me then walks to where Narcissa is and sits beside her. "I believe the Dark Lord would kill you before me," he comments.

"Really?" I say sarcastically. "Because, by my calculations, there are more idiots in the world that can take your place as a Death Eater than there is pure-blood daughters of Bellatrix Lestrange, the Dark Lord's greatest follower, to take my place as his Chosen One." I count on my fingers to strengthen my point. "Why, I believe there's only one of me!" I count again until I've run out of fingers twice. "And, wow! There're a lot of idiots in the world!"

Lucius opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off and say, "Forgive me, Narcissa," for she was obviously upset by my words. She was nice to me earlier, and I think I should return the favor. She nods at me.

Bellatrix walks in and stops abruptly when she sees me. "So now we're bringing in riffraff?" she asks rudely before taking a seat on the other side of Narcissa. They all sit across from me. "Where is Draco?"

"Hogwarts," I answer. "He didn't want to come." I darken my gaze at my mother and add in a loud whisper to give the illusion that I'm trying to hide what I'm saying while really not doing that at all, "I think it might have something to do with the fact that his mad aunt is residing in his home," I shrug and speak louder, "That would be enough to make me stay away."

Bellatrix is about to shout at me, but Narcissa whispers something to her. She stops.

Again, I look back at Narcissa. "Forgive me, Narcissa," I say. This time, she doesn't nod. She just looks at me. I sit back in my seat and prop my feet up on the chair next to me. "So, when is," I look at Bellatrix, just trying to antagonize her, "Voldy getting here?" My words did what I wanted them to. She stands and pulls out her wand.

"Dear Bellatrix," a cold voice rings through room. Every cell in my body erupts in panic.

My mother lowers her wand, "My Lord," she says, giving a slight bow to the other end of the room. "We did not expect you so early."

"I did not want to postpone my meeting with young Charlotte. I want to see how powerful a witch she has become," he answers. I look around, still unable to see him.

Bellatrix sits back down, looking rather sulky that she didn't get to harm me for my words.

A movement in the shadows catches my eye. I stare at intently. Voldemort emerges. My heart stops. Next thing I know, I am hysterically trying to get away from the creature standing in the room. My legs flail as the fly from the chair in which they were resting, sending the defenseless chair to the floor. I push against the table. The chair I'm sitting in topples over, and I land on my face. I try desperately to crawl away from them all. I don't open my eyes. This can't be happening. That can't be him. It just can't. This can't be him. I keep my face plastered to the floor but slowly open my eyes. A bare foot rests right by my face. Again, I frantically scoot away. The foot moves farther away.

"Get up!" Lucius shouts. "Show some respect."

I push to my feet, but keep my eyes averted from Voldemort. Why does it have to be me? I've got a bone to pick with Harry Potter. He could've just answered my question that day in Hogsmeade, and I could've been prepared for this. But no, he refused. Snape also could have given me a courtesy warning. "Look at me," Voldemort's cool voice commands.

I struggle with myself to look up at him. When I finally meet his face, I lose my breath. He has pale-gray skin. And he's bald. His eyes are red. But I could deal with all of that. What freaks me out the most is his nose. There are two slits, quite like a snake, where his nose should be instead of an actual nose. My mouth moves faster than my mind, and I accidently exclaim, "Good God! What the devil happened to your face?" I clap my hands over my mouth, trying to erase the fact that I had just said that.

Voldemort doesn't even have a chance to reply because the angry voice of Bellatrix Lestrange shouts, "YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE DARK LORD?"

"Calm, Bellatrix," Voldemort scolds her in a quiet, silky voice. With a bow, she sits down again.

I shake my head, "I didn't mean to…it was accident…it just slipped…"

He smiles, his teeth looking as if he had not cared for them in years. "Do not worry, child," he says. "I am cursed. But I am alive, and will one day resume my regime over the Muggle and Wizarding worlds." He turns toward the other three in the room, his long black robes swooshing in the air. "No doubt you know who she truly is." He seems to be staring directly at Bellatrix.

"Yes, my Lord," Narcissa answers for all of them.

"No one else knows," he says. It isn't a question, and it isn't a statement. His voice clearly implies a command. "Not even Rodolphus."

They all say, "Yes, my Lord."

"It is to stay that way." He turns back to me. "Now," he says, "I want to see if I have made the best possible choice." He waves his wand, and the table pushes itself against the wall, clearing an area. "You were born to two of my greatest supporters and soldiers." He motions Lucius over to him. My uncle obeys without question. "Take out your wands." Lucius and I obey. "Bow to each other."

I realize all too late what Voldemort intends for us to do. "I've never dueled before!" I protest.

"All the better," Voldemort answers. "Begin."

* * *

**I realize the Voldemort scene wasn't like an "OH MY GOD!" type of scene, but he's in the upcoming chapter as well.**

**Let me know what you thought! (review)**


	27. Chapter 27

**This is the second update today! So proud of myself:) I hope you enjoy it! It's a tad longer than some of the others, but that's because I went through and had to add some stuff. Other than that, it would have been roughly the same size:)**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I love writing her attitude like that lol. It makes me happy. I get a lot of her characteristics from one of my good friends**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I thought I should give her some details of her past life, and if anyone should know the truth, I figured Narcissa would be the best to have know it:) I really enjoyed making the duels for this chapter. It could have gone on longer, but it would be too excessive, and she's not equally matched with all of them, so some are longer than others. I hope you enjoy!**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (14) I thought it would be like Ron to get upset about that and approach her. (15) A lot of drama is definitely going to go down at Malfoy Manor lol. What's Canada like? (16) Thanks, I'm glad you like the story! (17) What made you think Bellatrix was her mom? Her relationship with Draco is definitely over now… (18) I thought it'd be unexpected for her to kiss Snape, but that's who Charlotte is. She likes a scene lol. (19) I thought it'd be easier for him to try to ignore the whole thing. (20) Lol, I wanted him to try his best to prevent her from "trying to kill herself" again. Tying her to the bed seemed like something he would do. (21) It's not the last time they will ever talk, I assure you. The explanation actually doesn't come until much, much later. (22) She'll want to keep it to herself as long as possible. (23) Fred is Fred lol. I don't want to give too much away. Draco is a bit of a jerk… (24) Dumbledore knew because Charlotte told Snape, and Snape told Dumbledore. (25) I can't say where Fred and Charlotte are. Give it a few chapters, and it'll become clear lol**. P.S. Let me know if you read this

* * *

**CHAPTER 27**

Lucius and I take a few steps away from each other before turning to face one another. We take our positions. "Ready?" I ask him.

"_Stupefy!"_

_ "Protego!"_ I block his first attack. He continues to fire of jinxes and hexes, with my only spell being to keep the shield up.

"Do something!" Voldemort commands me in a cold, bone-chilling voice.

A flock of birds burst from my wand and attack Lucius. One by one he blasts them apart, but I have him distracted. I spout of the Bat-Bogey Hex just as he has finished with the birds. He blocks this move, and I once again jump back to defense as he tries to attack. But I enjoyed the offense.

Exhilarated by this new experience of dueling for fun without worrying about dying, I release the shield. But I've done so too quickly. As I throw the Conjunctivitis Curse, I am hit with the Leg-Locker Curse. I collapse, and Lucius screams in pain. I quickly perform the counter-jinx and stand back up. But Lucius, too, has recovered. And he's furious. Without thinking, I throw up another shield.

Again, I drop my shield too quickly and am hit with a spell that slices my cheek. "OW!" I bellow, grabbing it. I point my wand at the utensils and plates on the table and send them flying toward him with great speed. Some whack him in the face and chest. He grunts. He sends the Stunning Spell at me, and I dive to the side, landing on my stomach. I should have simply cast the shield; I don't know what I was thinking.

Lucius smiles down at me. I throw up a shield again as his spell flies toward me. I struggle to my feet and scream, "_Expelliarmus!_" His wand flies through air. I grab it and shout "_Stupefy!_" Lucius is hit and does not get back up.

Voldemort laughs a cold laugh. He waves his wand, and Lucius stands up. My uncle walks toward me, and I hand him his wand. "Well done," Voldemort tells me. Without removing his eyes from me, he commands, "Bellatrix, come!" My mother comes toward us. "Take your position."

My mother and I walk to the middle of the room, bow to each other, and she whispers scornfully, "You are no daughter of mine," then we take a few steps away from each other.

Knowing that she would enjoy nothing more than to put me on my back in front of the Dark Lord, I throw up the shield before the duel even begins. She smirks at me but throws a few spells at me anyway. Whether she's a much stronger than Lucius or because I am tired, I don't know, but a hex breaks through the shield. What feels something like fire burns my face. I scream and throw the Impediment Jinx at her that knocks her backward. I cover my face. It still burns.

She, while getting up, throws the same jinx at me, and I am thrown onto my back. Quickly, I cast the shield and get to my feet.

I charm one of the dining room chairs, and it flies at her. She sets it ablaze, leaving only smoke in its wake. I take this opportunity to transfigure the smoke to daggers and direct those at her.

Another one of the chairs flies in front of her and takes the daggers for her. She expels my wand from my hand; if flies to the wall. I look from her to it. I can't stop at this. I've hardly done anything.

She sends the Stunning Spell at me, but I jump aside, dive onto the floor, and slide toward my wand. I am about to grab my weapon when I hear her shout, "_Crucio!"_ Pain ignites on every inch of my body. I can't think. Everything hurts. My mind goes white. I hear someone screaming and vaguely realize that _I_ am the person screaming. It's higher, shriller, and louder than any other scream that has ever come from me. My body is convulsing under the spell, trying to get away from it. It feels like my skin is being peeled from my bones.

"Enough!" Voldemort shouts. The pain immediately goes away. I don't move. "Check on her." My eyes flutter open, and I see Narcissa leaning over me. I am hauled to my feet. I lean against my aunt, my legs unable to bear my weight at the moment. Voldemort looks at me. "Well done, Charlotte. I never intended for you to be able to win against your mother. She has a skill far greater than the other Death Eaters." I think he is done, but then he adds, "It would be beneficial for you to learn a better way to duel."

Bellatrix smirks at me from behind Voldemort. Something about this smirk sends me into a frenzy. She's happy that she Cruciated me, her daughter. With no thoughts other than revenge, I point my wand at her and shout, "_Crucio!"_ Bellatrix collapses, screaming but not near as loud as I had done. Voldemort expels my wand from my hand and catches it.

Bellatrix pulls herself to her feet. Voldemort is obviously angry, but he keeps his voice calm when he says to my mother, "You should be proud of your daughter, Bellatrix." He looks at me and hands me my wand. "You will make an excellent mother to my heir," his eyes are full of evil. He looks back at my family. "Leave us." And though I hate them all dearly, I panic as each of them file out of the room. Bellatrix looks at me one more time. Her eyes are filled with fury. But there's something else too. Pride? Envy? Hate? I don't have a chance to analyze it, for she leaves too quickly. "Have a seat, Charlotte." I obey. Voldemort watches me closely. Then he begins to walk around.

When he goes behind me, I want to turn to keep my eyes on him (I feel safer that way), but I can't risk being disrespectful to him again, so I face forward and listen as he walks around. "You are powerful, like your mother was…before she had you," the Dark Lord says. "But I see that the love she once had for you has vastly diminished. It has made her stronger, as you will be in time." His hand rests on my shoulder. I tense. "But you are leery of serving me, are you not? Your mother was most pleased to have the chance to serve me. You differ from her this way."

"J-just scared, my Lord," I say quietly.

"There is no reason to be scared," he replies. Then he removes his hand and comes around so we can see each other's faces. "You are important to my future, Charlotte. And so long as you are, no harm shall befall you." His eyes darken. "I take it Severus has been caring for you to the best of his ability?"

I nod. "Y-yes, my Lord. He is most gracious."

He takes a few steps away from me. "You are free to go." Then he's gone, just like that.

I remain in that seat until Narcissa enters. She calls Cosmo with some food that she forces me to eat.

After I finish eating, I say to Narcissa, "I know he said I could leave, but I have nowhere to go tonight. Can I just leave tomorrow morning?"

She looks at me sympathetically. "Yes."

She gets up, but I grab her arm. "Why…? Is…is that all then?" I ask quietly, trying with much difficulty to keep the happiness out of my voice. Narcissa doesn't answer. "Why…why did he call me here…for that?"

She purses her lips. "Charlotte," she says quietly. "Don't question gifts." I open my mouth, but she continues, "The Dark Lord, he has plans for you, but that doesn't mean he's going to make you fulfill them yet. He's waiting for something, trying to get something that he did not have last time. He wants to secure it before…" Narcissa fades off.

I stand and look into her eyes. "Narcissa," I say quietly, "will it…be done…through a potion…?"

My aunt closes her eyes. "I don't think so," she says slowly. "The Dark Lord –"

"That's fine, thanks," I cut her off quickly. "I don't need to hear it." I walk to the doorway, tell her not to expect to see me tomorrow, and go to the guest room.

* * *

The next morning, as promised, I do not even attempt to go downstairs. I Apparate to Hogsmeade without once having set foot out of the guest room, the same guest room I had been given last time.

Now I am in the Three Broomsticks, drinking a butterbeer and eating some soup. The food does not remotely compete with the food served by the house-elves at Hogwarts. But I'm hungry, so I eat it. Every minute, I look to the door and scan the streets, desperately searching for the bubblegum pink hair.

It's only after I finish my soup and my drink that I see her approaching. I stand, leave payment on the table, and rush to the door. I meet her outside. "I was afraid you weren't going to come!" I tell her.

"I wouldn't have left behind a member of the Black family who is against You-Know-Who!" Tonks laughs. "Those are hard to come by nowadays."

"So, where are we going?" I ask her.

"You'll see when we get there," she replies. "Take my arm." I do just that, and am Apparated alongside my cousin to a street I have never been to before. She hands me a piece of paper. It says: _The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place, London._ I look up, and a home tears its way between numbers eleven and thirteen. Tonks burns the paper, and we go to the door.

"What is the Order of the Phoenix?" I ask her. She doesn't answer. "Is Sirius in there?" I point to the building. She still doesn't answer. She simply opens the door and walks in. I follow her closely. The door closes behind us. "What is the Order of the Phoenix? Is Sirius in here? Is he part of it? Where's Dumbledore? Do you know?"

She looks at me, exasperated. "Give us a minute!" she replies. "I promise, we'll answer all of your questions."

I nod and follow her into the kitchen. A man sits in there with shoulder-length hair and a bit of facial hair. "Is that…is he…" I can't even speak.

He looks up. "Tonks?" he asks, confused. "I didn't expect you until later this week."

The thought clicks in her mind. She looks at me. "What _are_ you doing away from the Malfoys so soon?"

I smile proudly. "I proved myself to the Dark Lord rather quickly. He said I was free to go," I answer.

"How did you 'prove' yourself?" Sirius asks me.

"Mind if I sit?" I ask, motioning to the seat. Tonks sits down as well. I address her, "Have you told him about my duty?"

"You told me not to," she replies.

I nod and proceed to tell Sirius what I must do for Voldemort. He becomes graver the more I explain, but he doesn't interrupt me. "…and now that you have my back-story," I finish, "it will make more sense when I tell you what I did." I pause.

"Well, go on then," he says.

"I had to meet him – Voldemort – for the first time. Because I was born to his two greatest supporters and soldiers, Bellatrix and Rodolphus, he wanted to see what I was capable of. He had me duel Lucius first," I reply.

"How'd that go?" Tonks asks.

"It was the first time I have ever dueled for sport," I continue, "which was weird. Growing up, I dueled to kill. It took me a while, but I eventually overtook him." A smile comes when I think back to that. "I flattened him, put him on his back. Voldemort was not overly happy about that. I mean, he was thrilled that I am stronger than he thought I'd be, but he was certainly disappointed in Lucius. So he had me duel Bellatrix."

"Your mother?" Sirius answers. "What was that like for you?"

"First," I say quickly, "I don't refer to her as 'my mother.' She is simply Bellatrix Lestrange to me." They both nod. "And, well, it was rough. I only lasted about ten minutes…" I shudder. "It was my first ever experience with Cruciatus Curse."

"She Cruciated you?" Sirius questions. There is an anger in his eyes that makes me nervous. "Her own daughter? How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

I nod, "Sixteen."

"And she Cruciated you?" he says again. "That would be like me Cruciating Harry!"

"It's okay," I add quickly. "I got revenge." I smirk. "When Narcissa helped me to my feet and I regained my bearings, I returned the curse."

"But still…" he replies.

"And it wouldn't necessarily be the same as you Cruciating Harry," I tell him. "You care about Harry."

Tonks speaks up, "Surely there must be some ounce of love left for you."

"Oh, she loved me a great deal before I supposedly died," I answer. "But I don't really want to talk about her anymore, if you don't mind?"

"Of course," they say.

With the subject of Bellatrix off the table, silence fills its place. That's when I realize that, even though we're family, we really have nothing to talk about. So I ask the first question I had asked when we got here, "What is the Order of the Phoenix?"

They exchange a quick look. "It is a group of witches and wizards against You-Know-Who," Tonks answers. "We were created by Dumbledore to stop him and his followers."

"Where do I sign up?" I ask avidly.

Sirius smiles. "As much as we appreciate your enthusiasm, Charlotte," he answers, "you are not of age and therefore cannot be a part of the Order."

"So, when I turn seventeen, I can join the Order?" I ask quickly. "I want to have a part in bringing Voldemort down. If…if I'm going to be forced to…to have his child, I want to have a hand in his downfall."

"We'll speak with Dumbledore when that time comes," Tonks answers.

Silence falls upon us again.

"Where is Dumbledore?" I ask quietly.

"We don't know," Tonks says, "but we're sure he's doing something he needs to and that he'll turn up when the time is right."

Sirius decides to speak now, "Were you part of the D.A.?"

I smile. "Yes, I was. Harry, he was a great teacher."

Pride beams in Sirius's eyes. Then he laughs, "Even better than _Snivellus_ Snape?"

Unrequited laughter escapes me. "I've never heard him called that before! I take it you know him?"

"Went to school with him," Sirius answers, chuckling. "He was one of our favorites to pick on!"

"'Our?'" I repeat.

"Harry's father, two of our friends, and myself," he answers.

I smile. "Wish I could've been a part of that!" I answer. "Snape and I don't get along that well…"

"Got any stories?" Sirius asks. "I could use a good laugh being locked in here all this time."

"Well, I got to Hogwarts two weeks before anyone else did. Lucius caught me, and Voldemort had me sent to Hogwarts for 'safety.' Anyways, I was struggling with everything – my duty, not knowing my family, things of that nature – and I was completely destroying the Slytherin common room –"

"You're Slytherin?" he interrupts. I nod, and he shakes his head in a mock-disgusted way. "Just when I thought you could actually be family…"

"_Anyway_," I say in a falsely exaggerated voice, "Snape walked in on me throwing everything around. He got really upset. I was in no mood to be yelled out, so I just kind of…Stunned him."

Sirius bursts with laughter. "Then what happened?"

"I fixed the room and ran for it, what do you think? He chased me down and hit me with the Impediment Jinx. Tried strangling me…then McGonagall came in. I gave her a sob story, and she rescued me from him," I answer.

His face is alight with joy. "Maybe you can be my cousin, even if you are a filthy Slytherin." He motions to Tonks, "At least she was okay. She got out of the Black family tradition and was put into Hufflepuff."

"And that's better?" I say with a smile. "I only know a few of them…and they're all awful."

Tonks rolls her eyes. "On a more important note than the ranking of Hogwarts Houses by biased students and former students," she says, "what has Umbridge been up to?"

"Nothing good, banning this and banning that," I say. "She was particularly upset about Harry's interview with _The Quibbler_."

"But people deserve to know the truth!" Tonks replies.

"My thoughts exactly," Sirius agrees. I nod.

"It's okay though," I say. "Fred and George Weasley got revenge for that and for Dumbledore. The professors, too, are just as bad. They can't do anything for themselves anymore. They all need the headmistress-slash-High Inquisitor to help them."

Tonks and Sirius have a good laugh as I tell them about the Weasley twins' prank and about Umbridge running mad trying to stop everything.

We talk for a few hours after that about anything and everything that comes up. Sirius is surprisingly good-spirited for being in Azkaban for twelve years on a false accusation. It's obvious that he cares very deeply for Harry, but after hearing about his close relationship with James and Lily Potter, it's no wonder that he cares so much for his godson. By what Sirius says, it's easy to see that he finds it hard to tell whether Harry is more of a brother or a son to him.

When Sirius talks about his days at Hogwarts and the friends he had there, Tonks seems to glow with happiness. I can't help but feel that she has hidden feelings for one of them. I don't know which one for sure, but considering that James Potter is dead, Peter Pettigrew is evil, and that Sirius Black is her cousin, I believe that it has to be Remus Lupin. I don't say anything, of course, because that would lead to all sorts of problems, but I can't shake the feeling that it's true.

Hours later, it's time for Tonks and me to leave, which means I will be going back to Hogwarts. I walk ahead of Tonks who had slowed to talk with Sirius. I turn around to find them both watching me with odd expressions. They offer for me to stay at Grimmauld Place until the end of the Easter holidays. Though I feel like they are doing it strictly because they pity me, I accept. Any time spent with my family will be far better than time spent at Hogwarts with no one.

* * *

**What'd you think? The next update won't come until tomorrow. Very rarely will I do two in a day.**

**Review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hi! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed the fighting! I knew they were. By awful, I meant just people in general. The only one she's really met is Zacharias Smith, and...well, we know how annoying he is.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I was able to update twice:) Thanks for reviewing both times! I won't really go into detail if she does get pregnant, it will just be implied and all...**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! It's good to know that I've had you on the edge of your seat! I hope you continue to enjoy reading!**

**Bloodshade: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**Almondimply: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 28**

By the time the last weekend of the Easter holidays rolls around, I am thoroughly dreading going back to Hogwarts. With Grimmauld Place being the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, I have seen many people come in and out of the place that I would not have guessed to be in the Order.

Sirius knows that I am a Metamorphmagus now, of course. It's become somewhat of a game for us to create a new persona to disguise me with each person that comes into Grimmauld Place. We bounce random characteristics off of each other with every question we are asked. And so with each new visitor, I become a new person that is developed by sheer randomness between me and my cousin. And with each new person we create, they get weirder and weirder.

My personal favorite was a woman named Elizabeth Grant. She had gone to Hogwarts and co-owned the Hog's Head at one point. But she had misplaced her wand and was attacked by a man in the pub. She had lost most of her memory and was sent away from the Hog's Head forever. Sirius's favorite part of this woman was that she could not speak in complete sentences, would often speak to freely, or would just go off on tangents. He would ask me a question as simple as, "How have you been?"

And I would reply, "Well, my head has been…it might be that the dog…the weather's nice, isn't it?" It had been hard for Sirius to stay – well – _serious_ that time and strictly forbade from ever being Elizabeth Boswell again. It was quite traumatic to lose the greatest character I have ever created. But we didn't want me to be discovered, so I had to give her up.

I learned a few days ago that the brute wizard from Dumbledore's office is part of the Order. His goes by Kingsley. Sirius has told me that today, though, I cannot hide under a new persona. The werewolf, whom Draco had spoken to me about, is coming, and Sirius wants me to meet him for real, because he is the same friend that Sirius so often speaks of when he talks about his days of Hogwarts. The man coming is Remus Lupin.

Around midday, Lupin shows up. Sirius introduces us. After a short while with the two of them, I can tell that their friendship is very much alive after all of these years. And I can totally understand why Tonks is attracted to him. He's well-tempered, despite being a werewolf, and he's overly kind. And Sirius shows him a lot of confidence by confiding in him the whole truth about me and what I am to do.

But unlike most people when they find out, he does not give me a sympathetic look. Instead, he puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "Becoming something and doing something that you do not want is difficult. Keep your head up and your heart strong, and you'll get through it."

That was three hours ago. After that, I had to retreat back to the room I've been staying in under the lie that I must pack for my departure. But in all honesty, I went up there to stare into a mirror and cry silently. There's nothing that can be done to stop this. There's nothing that can be done to reverse what's been put into motion. I have to be strong. I take slow, deep breaths to calm myself until I hear Lupin say, "Harry!" My head jerks to the door. I'm tempted to go see what's happening, but I hear someone walk by my door a moment later, and I stop. Two people go back through, and I quietly open the door and tiptoe down the stairs to see what's going on.

In the fire, I see Harry's head. But Sirius and Lupin crouch down in front of him and block my view. I creep closer. The first thing I hear is, "I just wanted to talk about my dad."

I strain to listen closely.

Harry begins telling of a story about looking into a Pensieve during his Occlumency lesson with Snape. This perks my attention. But I quickly wish I couldn't hear.

Harry tells them about going into Snape's memories. Snape was in his fifth year of Hogwarts. They were all taking their O.W.L.s. Afterward, they went down to the Black Lake. Sirius and the other Marauders (as I have learned they were called) were by the beech tree when Sirius said he was bored. Then Snape showed up. Harry describes in detail how Sirius and James Potter used a spell to hang Snape upside down then used other jinxes to torment him. No one tried to stop them. They all gathered around until Lily Evans (who I assume is the one who married James) jumped in to bring it to an end. Snape called Lily a "Mudblood" when she did so.

I have to pull my attention away from them. All week, Snape has been the butt of my jokes with Sirius. Our whole friendship has been based on the mocking of Severus Snape. But hearing about him being tormented for seven straight years nicks at my heart. That explains why Snape is the way he is. I suddenly find myself regretting the way I have treated him. Sure, he's made it hard for me to ever be nice to him, but I still regret all of it.

Sirius shouting, "He WHAT?" pulls my attention back to their conversation.

"Are you serious, Harry?" Lupin asks, "He's stopped giving you lessons?"

Joy leaps in me. If Snape is no longer giving Harry lessons, assuming Harry means Occlumency lessons, Snape might be able to teach me. I won't have to worry about those kisses between me and Fred anymore. I won't have to worry that Voldemort will find out. I won't have to worry about getting Fred killed. I hop up and start making my way back upstairs.

"Is that Kreacher coming downstairs?" Harry asks. My heart stops.

Sirius glances over his shoulder, but I am hidden in the shadows far enough that he can't see me. "No, it must be somebody your end…"

"I'd better go!" And I leave on that cue as well, back to my room to finish packing for my return to Hogwarts.

Less than an hour later, I give Sirius a one-armed hug and shake Lupin's hand. Then I leave for school.

* * *

When I arrive back to the castle, I am greeted with tales of the grand escape made by Fred and George. My heart plummets. I never had a chance to say goodbye to Fred. I was at Grimmauld Place, listening to gut-wrenching memories that Snape went through.

All fifth-years are supposed to go to the Head of their House for Career Advice. After inspecting the schedule, I learn that I am one of the last on the list. My meeting with Snape is to take place during the Quidditch match, which really isn't that much of a loss for me.

So when the Quidditch match arrives, I leave the Great Hall and go the opposite direction of most of the other students. While I make my way to the dungeons, they make their way to the Quidditch pitch. I pass Lee Jordan, who I know to the commentator for the matches as well as Fred and George's best friend. I stop him. "How are you?" I ask him.

He's very dispirited. "Making it through, I guess," he answers. "Don't have too much longer without them, you know?"

"How'd it happen?" I reply.

"If you meet up with me after the match, I'll give you the whole rundown of what happened," he says. He starts to walk off but stops abruptly. "Oh, I almost forgot!" He takes a letter out of his robes. "Fred asked me to give this to you."

I take it. "Thanks."

"So we'll meet later, then?"

"Sure," I say. We part ways. I tuck the letter into my robes and make for the dungeons.

I knock on Snape's door. "Enter," he says. I do just that. When I see him, my heart constricts for him. The only thing I can think of is what a fifteen-year-old Severus Snape must have been like and why not even his own House tried to stop James Potter and my own cousin Sirius from tormenting him. "Have a seat." I do. "Have you given any thought about your future career?"

I smirk. "Yep," I answer. "I'm going to be raising half-demon child."

He doesn't seem to enjoy this answer much. "I'll give you a bit to think about it, shall I?" he responds. His face grows dark. "I trust your holidays went well?"

A half-laugh escapes me. "As good as it could have been," I answer seriously.

Snape waves his wand at the door, my guess is to silence our conversation to anyone wandering about. "And your meeting with the Dark Lord?" he asks.

Anger flares in my chest, but I stifle it and say, "Would've been better had you given me any sort of warning as to what he looked like."

"But where's the fun in that?" he replies.

"Now you're worried about fun?" I say coldly.

"Being a Potions teacher to a bunch of whiny children doesn't offer me much joy," he says. "So tell me, what happened exactly?"

"If you must know, professor," I answer, "I almost destroyed the Malfoys' table trying to get away from him. Then I almost broke their chairs," I restrain the laugh I almost let slip, "and I asked him what happened to his face."

Snape pales. "You didn't?" he whispers.

"Oh, I did, and Bellatrix almost killed me on the spot," I say.

"And…the Dark Lord? What did he do?" Snape inquires.

"He told Bellatrix to calm down," I answer.

The Potions Master is thoroughly shocked by this news.

"I suspect that he would have killed me had I been someone like Lucius, but I'm irreplaceable," I add with a smile.

Snape smirks at this remark. "What did he have you do?"

"Duel Lucius," I answer, "and Bellatrix."

His lip curls in what I expect is an attempt to hide a smile. "What happened with that? Did they put you in your place? Show you that you truly are not 'irreplaceable?'" he asks.

"Merlin's beard no!" I laugh. "I put Lucius on his back, flattened him actually. And in front of the Dark Lord no less!"

Snape sighs. I guess this isn't the news he was hoping for. "Lucius was never the best at dueling," he comments. "But I suspect Bellatrix was not so yielding to the powers of her sixteen-year-old daughter?"

"Well, not exactly," I say in a voice that implies I really enjoy looking back, but in truth, I hate it, "you see, my mother fights differently than my uncle. Granted, I put her on her back as well, but she quickly returned the favor. I believe I could have lasted a bit longer had it not been for the Cruciatus Curse she threw at me." I ignore the paling of his face and continue, "I was not really prepared for that."

"And yet you still feel as if you are irreplaceable?" he sneers. "The Dark Lord let your mother Cruciate you, yet you believe yourself to be important to him?"

"You missed the best part of the story!" I scold him. "I haven't gotten there yet!" I clear my throat sarcastically. "You see, Professor Snape, after a moment of torturous pain inflicted upon me by my own mother, the Dark Lord called her off. Narcissa helped me to my feet. I, much like my mother had returned the favor of me putting her on her back, returned the Cruciatus favor."

"And…and the Dark Lord…?" Snape asks.

"Stopped me a moment later," I answer. "But it felt wondrous to hear Bellatrix scream in pain after she laughed at mine." The professor across from me fidgets uncomfortably. "So, you see, I _am_ irreplaceable to Voldemort. I am the pure-blood daughter of his greatest supporter and soldier, and I have inherited a bit of her talent."

He doesn't say anything for a few moments. Then he finally replies, "Have you given your future career much thought?" He waves his wand at the door, presumably lifting the silencing charm he put on it.

"I have, actually," I reply. He grimaces. "And no, I do not mean raising Voldemort's child this time. Though, that's always going to an option, right?" I smirk. "Anyway, I think I would enjoy being a teacher here at Hogwarts."

"And why is that?" he asks.

"It's a beautiful place," I answer.

His eyebrow goes up.

"Okay, I would like to shape the next generation's minds," I say.

"I find that hard to believe," he replies.

"Good, because it's all a lie." He frowns at me. "I seriously don't think I'm cut out to be in any career field. I'd prefer being a stay-at-home mom," he opens his mouth, but I cut him off quickly, "I don't mean Voldemort's child! I mean in general." He's still skeptical. I sigh. "I never had a family, or a mother. I want to get married, have a child, love that child like no one else can…" I drift off. "I want to raise a family like I never had."

"Well, say that doesn't work out, what then?" he asks.

"An Obliviator would be fairly nice…I'd love to erase memories for a living," I answer.

"If you are not going to take this seriously, I'm going to ask you to leave," he replies harshly.

"Okay, okay," I say quickly. "There is one thing I want to do." I don't say anything after that.

"I'm waiting," he says a minute later.

I take a deep breath. "I want to find a way to put an end to mindless child bullying."

Snape freezes. After gaining composure, he replies, "And why is that?"

"Because I've heard some things, seen some things, been a part of some things," I answer.

He waves his wand at the door again. He probably thinks Harry told me about him being bullied. Although Harry _had_ told me, it had been indirectly. I'll have to deter his anger from Harry in just a moment. "Where did you say you went after the Malfoys?" he says quietly.

"I didn't."

"Then where did you go? The two duels could not have taken all week," he answers.

"I went to see some of my family," I answer vaguely.

"What family?" he continues to question me.

"My cousins," I answer just as vaguely as before.

"Do these cousins have names?"

"Yep," I answer. "I believe most everybody has a name…it must be a trend of some sort…but you can never be too sure about trends nowadays. The way they come in and out so quickly…"

Snape glowers at me. "I suspect this family you went to see is on your mother's side?"

"Yep."

His eyes darken. "I thought the only cousin you had on her side was Draco." He's trying to hurt me, but I won't let him. The pain of Draco is becoming less and less. Fred has helped with that. "And I believe he was still here."

"I thought he was my only cousin too, but I found some more," I say loftily. "Besides the Malfoys, I have another aunt, uncle, first-cousin," I pause, "and a second-cousin." This has the effect I desire. "I believe you might know his name: Sirius Black."

"And why would I know him?" Snape asks, trying but failing to keep the tension out of his voice.

"I thought you were in school with him?" I say innocently. "At least…that's what he told me…"

"And that's all he told you, I suppose?" he asks as nonchalantly as he can manage.

"Nope," I answer. I give it a minute while Snape tries to read my face. "He told me that he and a certain Mr. Potter were right jerks back in the day. But that's about all…no details… Do you have any details?"

"No," he says softly. "I don't." But he is obviously calming down.

"I hear your Occlumency lessons with Harry are over," I say. "Could you teach me now? I think it'd be a good thing to know, what with the Dark Lord looming over me." Before he can answer, I add, "And dueling would be better if you could teach me something about that as well. I'm sure Voldemort will appreciate it if I am better taught…in fact, he thinks it would be beneficial for me to learn…"

He clenches his teeth. "With this little time left in term?" he asks.

"Yeah…something about how I'm going to be here for another two years…"

He grimaces. "Then your lessons will begin first thing next term," he smirks at my disappointment. "Until then, study and be prepared for the O.W.L.s."

"I'm sure the Dark Lord will reward you for your efforts, professor," I grumble.

I make for the door when I hear him say, "Think seriously about your future, Miss Rodgers."

"Oh, I will," I say vacantly. But, really, do I have much of a future with Voldemort still alive?

* * *

**So do you think it was a good idea or a bad idea for her to mention that to Snape? Do you think she'll change toward him at all now that she partly knows why he is the way he is?**

**Leave a review and let me know!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hi! As you all know, I only own Charlotte:) The rest is J.K. Rowling's**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! How would Snape find out she knows? The only people that knows she knows are herself and Sirius, and Snape doesn't chat with Sirius often, you know? I haven't actually said so, but as an Order member I think he wants Voldemort to be stopped. Charlotte doesn't know this, which is why I haven't said yet lol. Thanks for pointing out the error:) I went and fixed it as soon as I could :)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! How do you think he'll change? I'll definitely keep writing!**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it would be good to kind of establish her relationship with Sirius, but I didn't want to go into too much detail, you know? You'll find out what changes; I can't really say right now ;)**

**Rowan: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked that! I thought it'd be good for her to immediately insult him, even if she didn't mean to lol**

**brrzzl: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 29**

I make my way up to the Great Hall, hoping the Quidditch match is either over or close to being over. I wait in the Great Hall for only a few minutes before Lee Jordan takes a seat across from me. "Hi," I say to him gleefully. The poor guy could use some cheering up.

"Hi," he says. We're both sitting in a place we shouldn't: The Ravenclaw table. Oddly enough though, no one questions us. Then again, there are hardly any people up here to question us. "Fred and George won't be returning to Hogwarts, ever."

"I kind of figured," I say. "If only we could get away from here too, right? Especially with new headmistress…"

"Have you seen the swamp?" he asks me excitedly.

"What swamp?" I ask.

"Come on!" He stands. "I'll show you. It was a parting gift to Umbridge!" I stand and follow him through Hogwarts. "It's amazing! She can't get it to go away. Though, my guess is that Flitwick could do it in the blink of an eye. He just doesn't want to. He wants to leave it as a sign of silent rebellion against Umbridge, or a tribute to Fred and George."

I stop in front of the swamp Fred and George put in the castle. It leads all the way to Umbridge's office. "This is fantastic!" I laugh. "How'd they do it?"

"I'm not sure. They're brilliant, even if they don't show it in class," he answers. "They devote all of their time to creating things for their Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. This was one of their personal designs."

"How long have they been planning this?" I ask.

"Since Umbridge first arrived, really," he says. "It became more serious when the D.A. started up, of course. Everything became more real then, though, you know? Then Dumbledore was sent away…that didn't go over well. I don't know how Fred knew so much about that…he knew details about what happened in Dumbledore's office that I don't think anyone would know had they not been in there themselves."

"That was my doing. It was a Disillusionment Charm," I say. "We watched pretty much the whole thing."

Lee Jordan shakes his head. "He never told us."

"I asked him not to," I reply. "It was his idea to spread the word, though." I look around. "So what happened?"

"They used the swamp and some other things as a diversion for Harry to sneak into Umbridge's office. They released a load of their own creations. Umbridge was furious. They stood right there," he points to the courtyard, "when Filch went to get the papers saying that he was allowed to whip wrongdoers. They had no intention of being whipped though, none at all. They summoned their brooms and…just flew away. It was wonderful. It's things like that that will become legendary."

"Sounds like it," I answer. "Where'd they go?"

"To open their own shop in Diagon Alley," he answers.

"The one they were telling me about that day in Hogsmeade?" I ask him.

"The very same," he's become rather dispirited again. I don't really know what to say to him, so I say goodbye and go back to the Slytherin Dungeons to study (for the first time) for the O.W.L.s that are quickly approaching me.

* * *

I do as Snape commanded me. Nearly a month before anyone else, besides Hermione of course, begins preparing themselves for their tests, all I do is study and prepare myself. Fred is no longer around to keep me company. Draco is completely out of the question. And that leaves me to my own devices in the common room. Studying is really the only thing I have left to do anymore. So study I shall.

June comes far too quickly for my liking. With Umbridge cracking down on all of us, I have not had a chance to speak to McGonagall about Easter. It wasn't as bad as I had feared, sure, but I still wanted to talk to her about it. She, if any of the professors, will be the most understanding about it. But that's really because only she knows besides Snape, and he couldn't care less about what I have to do for Voldemort.

The professors have stopped giving homework. We only review what will be on the O.W.L.s. We only go over what will be on the O.W.L.s. The teachers only speak about what will be on the O.W.L.s. They have the fifth-years practically eating, sleeping, and drinking the O.W.L.s. McGonagall works us harder than most of the other teachers. Snape is withdrawn, no longer tormenting Harry. In fact, he seems rather content to ignore the Potter boy altogether.

Draco, although we no longer speak, is no different from before. He still boasts about being a Malfoy. After me flattening Lucius over the Easter holidays, I'm surprised he's still proud of the man. Of course, he probably has not been told about that. His parents wouldn't want to crush his delicate ego. Still, it bothers me that he has the nerve to say, as we begin our Potions class with Gryffindor, "Of course, it's not what you know, it's who you know. Now, Father's been real friendly with the Head of the Wizarding Examinations Authority for years – old Griselda Marchbanks – we've had her round for dinner and everything…" He's speaking of the O.W.L.s, and for some odd reason, I feel that he is doing this strictly because Harry is standing there with Ron and Hermione.

I would go ask Hermione about what Draco said, but she's the most stressed student in the school at the moment. And after Draco's speech, she's gone rather pale. Unfortunately for me, though I know some of the most powerful wizards in the world, I cannot speak about them. So it does me no good to know any of them, really.

A few days before the examinations are to begin, Snape enters the Slytherin common room and commands full attention of all of the fifth-year students. "Your exams will be spread over two weeks," he states, waving his wand to make the schedule write itself on the announcement board. We all scramble to copy it down as he continues, "Theory exams will take place in the morning, and the practice exams will be in the morning. Your Astronomy exam will take place at night.

"Extra precautions against cheating have been taken. Anti-cheating charms have been applied to the examination papers. Remembralls, Auto-Correct Quills, Self-Correcting Ink, and Detachable Cribbing Cuffs are strictly banned from the examination hall," Snape says. "But regrettably, each year a student attempts to cheat on the examinations. Do not let me learn that it was a Slytherin. The headmistress has requested that the Heads of the Houses inform the students that punishments will be most severe for anyone who thinks they can get around the Wizarding Examinations Authority's rules.

"You must try to do your very best. You have your futures to think about," he finishes.

"When will we get the results back?" Pansy asks.

"An owl will deliver the results in July," Snape answers.

* * *

The first exam is the Theory of Charms. I might be okay at performing charms, but I'm nervous about the theory exams. I intently study _Achievements in Charming_. These exams being some of the first real exams I've ever taken that really matter, I want to get at least some fairly good grades.

When the day finally came for our exam, I cannot eat breakfast. Afterward, I, along with the other fifth and seventh years, wait around for the Great Hall to be set up with a number of desks for each student to take the exams. We all take our seats and start the exam.

Later, I approach Hermione, who has just been stopped from talking by Ron. "How do you think you did?" I ask her.

She's frazzled. "Well, it wasn't too bad, but I'm afraid I didn't do myself justice on the Cheering Charms…"

We anxiously compare our answers until it's time for lunch. The Great Hall is back to its normal self.

That afternoon, all of the fifth-years wait outside for our names to be called so we can do the other half of our Charms exam. Hermione's name is called. "She'll be fine," Ron says when she leaves looking more nervous than she really should. I mean, she is a genius and all…she shouldn't be too worried about the exams. "Remember, she got a hundred and twelve on one of our Charms tests?"

"Did she really?" I ask him without thinking. Both he and Harry look at me as though I am an alien. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping…

When Harry is called back, I turn to Ron. "Have you got any word from Fred?"

"With the new headmistress?" he says, "Not a chance. How about you?"

"Not at all," I answer sadly. I was hoping someone had heard something. "Do you think the shop's going well?"

"I'm sure it is. Fred and George had perfected almost everything before they left," he replies.

"Like the Portable Swamp?" I ask.

Ron smiles. "Just like the Portable Swamp."

I think for a second. There's a question that I want to ask him, that I've wanted to ask him for a while but haven't been able to make myself ask. I guess it's not really that important, so I shouldn't be so worried. "Ron," I say. He looks back over at me. "Why, out of all the hexes or jinxes or curses you could have used on me, why did you use the Tickling Hex?"

He smiles. "Because I didn't know what it did," he says, "and I couldn't very well ask Hermione. She nags us enough about studying. And I didn't want to test it on either her or Harry in case it was life-threatening. When I realized all it was doing was tickling you, I knew I had to do more, which is why I did the Leg-Locker Curse and pelted you with snow."

"And had the curse been life-threatening?" I ask him.

He shrugs.

After that, our conversation dies. I'm unsure how I feel about that. He could have killed me… I'm called back shortly after. I go to Professor Marchbanks. "Rodgers, is it?" she asks.

"Yes, professor," I answer.

"No need to be nervous," she says encouragingly. "Now, if I could ask you to take this eggcup and make it do some cartwheels for me…"

The Charms exam is extremely easy. There's not a single thing that I don't know. I suppose this is because Charms was one of the things I studied while growing up outside the Muggle world. I think I might even come out with an "Exceeds Expectations."

The Transfiguration exam the next day goes much better than the Charms did, and I thought I did a good job on the Charms. The written part is not the best, but the practical is amazing. Transfiguration is my best class, so I have no worries. It's the rest of the exams that I'm dreading, really. Charms and Transfiguration are my best, and both of those are done in the first two days. Everything will go downhill from here, no doubt.

I'm almost completely positive that I failed my Herbology exam. But, that was to be expected. I never really paid much attention in that class anyway.

Defense Against the Dark Arts would have been a complete disaster had it not been for the D.A. Umbridge is relatively disappointed when I do fairly well in the practical; I guess all of the D.A. members did better than she had expected. I heard Harry got a bonus point for creating a Patronus. I don't even suggest such a thing. I know I won't be able make one.

I take my Ancient Runes exam with Hermione. And I'm sure that if I did pass, it is only just.

It does not matter to me that most of the other students have taken the weekend off from studying. I remain in the Slytherin common room, reviewing for the remaining O.W.L.s. Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy all walk in. Since it's just me in the room, sitting at a table alone, I try to ignore them. With the extra stress of the exams, I don't want to deal with them right now. They don't see it that way. They all take seats around me.

"So," Pansy says overly cheerily, "how have your O.W.L.s been going, Draco?"

"Really well," he answers, "as you know, Father knows Professor Marchbanks real well. She knows me, too. I'm not worried."

"Oh how great it must be to be a Malfoy!" Pansy shrieks.

I close my book as quietly as possible and try to get up, but Crabbe grabs my arm and pulls me back down.

"Where are you going, orphan?" she asks. Why would she call me "orphan?" "Not too keen to learn about the family you threw away?"

I freeze. Has Draco told them? Surely not…

"I mean, had you not been running around with that blood traitor Fred Weasley," she continues, "and had you not broken Draco's heart through your cheating ways, you could have wound up being a Malfoy, right?"

I bite my tongue. "Is that what he told you then?" I reply.

"It's not a matter of what he told us, Rodgers," she snaps. "It's a matter of what we saw. You were just waiting for the moment to leave Draco so you could go snog that redheaded Weasley boy! Have you seen his family? No one in their right mind would trade a Malfoy for a Weasley! That Arthur Weasley is the laughing stock of the Ministry!"

I sigh. "Dear Pansy," I begin, "I don't doubt that Draco has fed this lie to you and that you have willingly ate it, but you should know that that's not what happened." I shoot Draco a glare. "You see, his _father_," I spit, "didn't like the fact that his son's girlfriend could out-duel both him and his son. He thought it humiliating… So he made me leave Malfoy Manor."

"Out-duel me and my father, you say?" Draco speaks to for the first time during this exchange, and he's not happy. "You truly believe you can out-duel either of us? Someone who grew up in caves, never having learned anything real about magic?" So I guess it's safe to assume that Draco has told his friends that the Durmstrang cover-up is a lie.

I smile. "Has your father not told you what happened over Easter? Why I was not here, at Hogwarts?" I reply, letting a false sense of intrigue ooze from my voice. He stays quiet. "I'll tell you, Draco, but be prepared for something you don't want to hear…"

I let that sink in.

"I was called back to your home by your aunt," I begin. "I had no choice in the matter, of course." I give him a second to process the fact about his aunt. "You see, your father wanted to prove that he could overpower me. He had told a man about me, and that man wanted to meet me."

"Does this mystery man have a name?" Crabbe sneers.

"Oh, yes," I answer quietly, "but I was not told his real name." My eyes meet Draco's. "All I know is that he is Lucius Malfoy's employer." I pause again. Only Draco and I see the significance in this, and his face has gone rather pale. I sigh, "Of course, your father, Draco, never saw it coming. His employer had me duel him, meaning I had to duel Lucius." I laugh, "Would you like to know what happened?"

Draco gulps.

"I'll tell you anyway," I say proudly. "I crushed him, put him on his back, right in front of his employer. And just let me tell you, Draco, his employer was _not_ happy. Not. At. All." I let this sink in, too.

Pansy giggles, probably assuming that I am a liar. Through this fit of giggles, she asks, "You? You put the great Lucius Malfoy on his back? The wizard who is more important to the Ministry of Magic than your dead mother ever was?"

She expects this comment to bother me. It doesn't. But I don't let her see that. "Yes," I answer. "Yes, I do."

"Prove it," Goyle says. "I've met his father. You'd've stood no chance."

I smile arrogantly. "I see no real competition here through which I can 'prove myself,'" I say. "Then again…there was no real competition at Malfoy Manor either…"

Draco jumps to his feet and draws his wand. "Don't speak another word against my father!" he shouts.

I raise my eyes to meet him. "We have a taker." I stand and draw my own wand. We both walk to the middle of the common room without lowering our wands.

I know, when Pansy starts the countdown, that Draco will go before the right time, so I throw a shield, and just as I suspected, his first spell bounces back at him. "Shouldn't have attacked early," I comment. "Next time, you shouldn't try to be so narcissistic. It's not very flattering." He throws another spell, but it can't get through to me.

"Coward!" he snarls.

I drop the shield, throw the Impediment Jinx at him, expel his wand from his hand while he is frozen, and smirk at him. "No competition." I throw the shield up again, and just in time, too, because at that moment, a hex flies at me from Pansy's wand.

"My wand," Draco growls, "give it back."

"Your girlfriend," I reply, "tell her to cease her assault on me."

"She's not –" but he stops and huffs. "Stop, Pansy."

"Your goons," I continue, "they had better not attack me."

Draco grimaces at me. "Crabbe, Goyle," he acquiesces, "let it go."

I hand him his wand back. Then I turn to the other three Slytherin fifth-years. "And, should you know what's best for you, you would not attempt to harm me. Ever. Got it?" I look back at Draco. "I don't think your father's employer will take kindly to me being attacked, do you?"

And with that, I go back to my bed. It feels great to have put them in their place. Sure, it upsets me that I had to do so in the first place, but it was worth it, even though another hole attempts to take over my chest. It's like I am reliving the Christmas holidays all over again.

* * *

**Her relationship with Draco is definitely being destroyed...poor Charlotte. **

**I know it wasn't the most exciting chapter and all, but you know...O.W.L.s aren't that interesting. I don't spend too much time on them because it's like Charlotte is telling the story, and she wouldn't spend a lot of time on them. **

**Review!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**iDarkFaireh: Thanks for the follows and the favorite!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad my story can keep you going! If you ever need someone to talk to where you won't have to face them, feel free to PM me. I'm always willing to listen to people and help in any way that I can**

**Miss No One: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry about that lol. I know how frustrating it can be, but I hope it's worth your time! And thanks for pointing out my error. I went and fixed it ASAP. If you ever see any, just let me know. I try really hard in editing, but some get by me nevertheless**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I try to keep the pace somewhat fast, but you're right. Sometimes that's just not possible**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad I might have changed your opinion! It takes a special OC story for me to read too, so don't worry:)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! That means a lot to me:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 30**

The rest of the O.W.L.s are not near as dreadful as I had previously feared. The Potions was definitely not the best. The written was difficult, but I'm sure I passed. The practical went a little worse than the written. I had never had any experience with potion-making until this year. So I know I did awful. Maybe I'll slide by with "Acceptable." But I doubt that.

Another exam that I'm sure I failed is Care of Magical Creatures. Yes, I believe I failed this one. I never paid attention in class except for the day Hagrid showed us the Thestrals.

The Astronomy theory exam went better than I expected, but not as well as the Charms and Transfiguration, or even Defense Against the Dark Art for that matter.

Arithmancy went much better than I thought. It was one of the ones I had dreaded above all others. I passed it, without a doubt.

Right now, I am in the Astronomy Tower for the practical. I'm not overly excited about this exam…nope, not at all. I am standing next to Harry. Half an hour into the exam, I glance over and see that's he's already completed Orion on his chart. I'm not even halfway done. I quickly look back to my paper before the examiners think I'm cheating. Light spills out of the front door of Hogwarts.

I point my telescope down that way and see Umbridge walking across the grounds with five others. Something isn't right about this. The lights in Hagrid's cabin come on, those who accompanied Umbridge now standing around it. Hagrid opens the door, and Umbridge steps in with her five associates. I glance at Harry. He's watching as well and looks just as uneasy as I feel. He pretends to be writing answers. I don't even try hiding under this façade.

More of the students begin looking at Hagrid's cabin. "Try and concentrate, now, boys and girls," one of the professors says.

Most of the students go back, but I look over at Hermione and Harry who are both just as mesmerized by Hagrid's cabin as I am. The door to the cabin flies open, and Hagrid comes out. All of the six people who had invaded his home are shooting red spells at him. They're trying to Stun him. "No!" Hermione shrieks.

"My dear!" a professor says. "This is an examination!"

But everyone is now watching Hagrid's cabin.

There's a lot of shouting. Hagrid roars. A dog tries to defend the large man but is hit with a spell and falls over. Hagrid shouts furiously. It's all happening too quickly. I don't understand what's going on.

"Look!" squeals one of the girls. Someone is running from the castle, straight for the chaos.

"Now, really!" the professor shouts. "Only sixteen minutes left!"

No one listens. We all watch the figure sprint across the grounds. "How dare you!" the person shouts. "How _dare _you!"

"It's McGonagall!" I hear Hermione whisper.

No…it can't be. Why is she playing hero? She mustn't do this!

"Leave him alone! _Alone_, I say!" McGonagall shouts. "On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such –"

I lose all breath at once. Four of Hagrid's attackers all cast a Stunning Spell at McGonagall. The professor is illuminated with red, shot into the air by the attack, and thrown onto her back. She doesn't move again. I'm frozen in shock. McGonagall…

"Galloping gargoyles!" the professor shouts. "Not so much as a warning! Outrageous behavior!"

Hagrid shouts something, but nothing makes sense. The only thing I know is that McGonagall is still motionless on the ground. While everyone watches Hagrid defend himself, I stare at the fallen professor. I grab up my exam, which has less than a third of it filled in, and storm toward one of the professors. I thrust it at his chest, not caring about the fact that I am not allowed to leave, and rush from the Astronomy Tower, despite the professor's protests.

While running, I cast a Disillusionment Charm around myself. By the time I reach the entrance hall, McGonagall is being carried inside. She's still motionless. My breath catches in my throat. McGonagall…

Anger boils in my blood. Umbridge is walking back to the castle. I follow her to the swamp that blocks her office and go with her as she makes her way around it. Fury is still writhing inside of me. I glance around. No one is watching. I slip my wand out of my robes and follow her to her office. I stop the door from closing, take the charm off of myself, and growl, "You're a pathetic coward."

She spins around, obviously shocked to find anyone following her. Before she has a chance to point her wand at me, I expel it from her hands, catch it, and throw it into the swamp. "How dare you!" I scream.

"How dare I what, Miss Rodgers?" she asks sweetly, not the least bit shaken by losing her wand.

"You know bloody well what!" I shriek.

"Oh, you mean Professor Hagrid?" she replies.

"I couldn't care less about him!" I snarl.

She pauses. "You mean Professor McGonagall?"

I clench my teeth together and tighten my hold on my wand. "Don't say her name!" I growl. She isn't worthy to even speak McGonagall's name.

"She was interfering with an act of the Ministry," Umbridge states.

"SHUT UP!" I scream.

"Put your wand down, Miss Rodgers," she says diplomatically. "Minerva McGonagall is not worth throwing away the rest of your life, is she?" I bare my teeth. I cast the Stinging Hex at her, catching her in the face. She falls backward with a shriek. "You wicked little child!" Then she pulls herself up using her desk.

I throw a silencing spell on her and say, "_Crucio!_" She tries to screech in pain, but the silencing spell has done its job. When I've had my fill of revenge, I release both of the spells.

She gains her composure. "An Unforgivable Curse?" her voice is triumphant. "It'll be Azkaban for you, Miss Rodgers."

"I don't think so," I reply. I flick my wand and cast a memory charm at her, modifying her memories. She won't remember any of this. I finish off by Stunning her. I say quietly to her immobile body, more for my own satisfaction than for her to hear me, "I told Snape wanted to be an Obliviator." I turn and leave her office as fast as possible.

* * *

The History of Magic exam is not going to be worst exam yet, but it isn't going to be my best, either. I've always had a relatively good memory. So when the exam comes at two that next afternoon, I'm not worried. I take a spot behind Harry. I look at my overturned examination paper and can't help but wonder what sort of questions are going to be asked.

"Turn over your papers," Professor Marchbanks commands from the front of the room. "You may begin…"

I turn the paper over. There are more questions on this exam than there were on the others, probably because there is no practical for this particular subject.

I'm almost halfway through the exam when I glance up to see that Harry is asleep. But his sleep is obviously not restful. His face is contorted. He screams, falls out of his chair, grabs his lightning scar, and continues screaming. Professor Tofty runs to him, helps him up, and ushers him from the room. What just happened?

I frantically search for Ron or Hermione. Neither of them makes eye contact with me. Though I cannot confirm it, I'm almost positive that Voldemort is doing something. I've watched Harry enough to know that he only grabs his scar when it burns, and it only burns because of Voldemort. But I can't very well go ask him about it…I've caused enough suspicion as it is. I quickly finish my exam. Tempted as I am to follow Ron and Hermione, who are no doubt going to find Harry, I can't bring myself to do it.

Instead, I sprint to the hospital wing, skidding to a stop at the door. I push it open, expecting to find Professor McGonagall lying in one of the beds protesting the fact that she's trapped in there. But she's not. The hospital wing is empty except for Madam Pomfrey. She watches me as I stare blankly around the empty hospital wing, speechless. Things are worse than I could have imagined. Finally she asks, "Is there something wrong, dear?"

I come back to the present. "Wh-where…where is Professor McGonagall?" I ask quietly.

"You're the second student to come looking for her," the first was probably Harry, but she doesn't say. "She was transferred to St. Mungo's this morning." My heart plummets, and my fear rises.

"Is she…will she…?" I can't even finish the question. Calming myself forcibly, I ask, "How is she?"

"She took four Stunning Spells straight to the chest. At her age, it's a wonder it didn't kill her," Madam Pomfrey answers.

That is definitely not what I need to hear at the moment. "Will-will she live?" I ask quietly.

"I believe so," is the answer I get. I don't stick around to hear what else she has to say; I take off again.

I want to talk to Snape. And it won't be a very happy conversation. Why is it that McGonagall was the only one trying to save Hagrid? Where was Snape? If Dumbledore trusts him so much, he should have been willing to save another man that Dumbledore vouched for. He should have been there with McGonagall. He should have helped her. He could have done something. She didn't have to end up in St. Mungo's like she did. He could have done _something._

Storming down the stairs to Snape's office, I run into Draco, who is making his way out of the dungeons. He's alone, which is odd for him. He takes me by the hand and goes with me down the stairs, the opposite direction in which he had just been going. I don't know what's going on until he pulls me aside. I glance around; there's no one near us. "I don't have time for this!" I hiss at him.

"Please, I have to talk to you," he begs. "It's important."

Had it not been for the tears on the verge of spilling out of his eyes, I would have stormed off. But his sorrow keeps me from leaving. I nod.

"I…I didn't know…Easter…" he starts stammering. "I should've…it…" he closes his eyes. "I should have been there with you."

My throat constricts. "You couldn't be," I say back to him as bravely as I can manage.

"But I should've been," he argues. "I should've been…"

"Draco, you couldn't have been," I whisper, willing myself not to cry.

He pulls me into his arms and buries his face into the crook of my neck. His tears cool my skin. I suppress a sob and hold him just as tightly as he holds me. "Why?" he whispers. "Why…? You shouldn't be my cousin!"

I can't speak. He's saying what I've been thinking for a while now.

"We were supposed to be together forever…" he cries. "Who's going to be there…when You-Know-Who…" His grip on me tightens. "You shouldn't have to go through that alone…"

I take a deep breath of him. He smells fresh and clean mixed with the scent of the ocean, the same mesmerizing scent of his home, a home that I can never be a part of. "It's what I have to do," I answer quietly.

"But you shouldn't have to!" he says fiercely. "You deserve so much better!" I really don't, but I can't bring myself to tell him that. Draco pulls away. Tears fall freely down his cheeks. His eyes are red. "You deserve so much better…"

"Draco," I say quietly, "nothing can stop it."

"But I love you!" he pleads. Then he freezes, as if realizing what he has just said. All the wind has been knocked out of me. His face becomes determined. "I still love you, Charlotte."

"Don't say that," I beg, trying to keep my head on straight. He's my cousin. He's my cousin. He's my cousin…

"Why not?" he replies. "Why can't I say it? It's true for me, Charlotte. Is it true for you?"

"I don't know," I whisper.

"I know it is," he says firmly. "I know you still love me. A love like ours takes more than six months to get over."

I shake my head. It can't be true, but I am afraid he might be right.

He puts his hand on my cheek and forces me to look at him. "I don't want to get over it," he tells me. "Do you?"

Before I answer, Draco pulls my lips to his. His kiss is bitter, quite like it was six months ago. I fall into it. Nothing has changed since then. Except for one thing: He's my cousin, the child of my mother's sister. I abruptly stop. "We can't, Draco," I say firmly. "We can't."

He hiccoughs, nodding his head slowly but crying all the same. "Right," he croaks. I don't have a chance to speak to him again; he takes off up the stairs. I flatten my back against the wall and look up to the ceiling. Tears are now flowing from my eyes as well. I close them. Why does it have to be me? His encounter has proven one thing to me: I have to let him go. I need to find a way to be happy with Fred, the way I was happy with Draco. And if anyone can make me happy again, it will certainly be Fred.

I push away from the stone. I was on a mission before Draco sidetracked me. Now I'm going to talk to Snape, with more fury than I had before.

I don't even knock. I throw the door open. By the look on his face, Snape is sincerely frustrated with me and my rudeness. But he doesn't speak. He just stares at me, no doubt trying to figure out why there are tears on my face. "Where were you when she needed help, Snape?" I sneer, bitterness filling each word.

"I would appreciate it if you did not enter my office without permission," he replies. "You'll learn."

The next thing I know, I am being pushed out of his office by an invisible force. I gape at the door as it slams in my face. I try to open it, but Snape has put a charm on it. I knock. There is no answer. I knock again. Silence greets me. I slam my fist against the door. "I know you're in there, professor!" I shout.

"When someone doesn't answer a door," the reply comes, "it means that the person whom you seek is busy."

I bang my hands against his door. "I don't care!" I scream. "Open the door!" He relents, but he doesn't pay me any attention as I storm into his room, shouting, "Where were you when she needed you?"

"Miss Rodgers, if you could please keep your voice down," he says airily. Then he goes back to marking papers that he is grading.

"Why did you not help her?" I try to ask angrily, but it comes out as more of a desperate whisper.

"Can one really blame an unknowing professor of letting his colleague wander into danger?" he asks, finally looking up. "Had I know what Minerva was planning on doing, I would have accompanied her, I assure you."

"I don't believe you!" I retort.

"Professor!" I hear a familiar voice call. I look around. Draco stands in the doorway. "Professor, the headmistress needs you in her office." Draco and I glance at each other but don't say a word. Snape steers me out of his office and closes the door, giving me a warning glance for me not to follow. He rushes away with Draco.

I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and follow a few feet behind them as they make their way to Umbridge's office.

* * *

**So what about that Umbridge thing? Or the kiss? Weird, right?**

**Review!**


	31. Chapter 31

**I've got some bad news, and I figured I'd go ahead and let you all know about it. I will NOT be able to update from May 30 - June 8... I'll be out of town and won't have access to my laptop or the internet... I'll update until then of course, and I'll update June 9. I'm really sorry about that. I thought I'd let you all know ahead of time:)**

* * *

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I don't really like Charlotte and Draco as a couple either :/**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Her being like Bellatrix in that moment will become important later. It's a little faster but only because Charlotte wasn't involved in the distraction for Harry to get into Umbridge's office. Everything else should be in order. I'm using the book to make sure I keep the sequences right, but some things will go a bit faster since she's not there.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Hahaha I hadn't thought about him sleeping in a sock drawer! That's great:) I love her temper too!**

**FredWeaslyForever15: Thanks for reviewing!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**me-halcyon: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 31**

Snape opens Umbridge's office door. "You wanted to see me, Headmistress?" he says. I look around. Ron's lip bleeds into the carpet as one of the Slytherin boys hold him down. Ginny and Luna are held tightly by some of the other Slytherins. Neville is being strangled by Crabbe. And Umbridge appears completely unfazed by any of it.

"Ah, Professor Snape," she says, smiling victoriously. "Yes, I would like another bottle of Veritaserum, as quick as you can, please."

"You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter," he replies. "Surely you did not use it all? I told you that three drops would be sufficient."

Umbridge flushes. My respect for Snape rises. He may be an evil git, but I love the way he speaks to Umbridge.

"You can make some more, can't you?" she asks, her fury causing her voice to become more high-pitched.

"Certainly," he says. "It takes a full moon cycle to mature, so I should have it ready for you in around a month." I wish I could see his face as he says this, but if I were to try to get in front of him, I would surely bump into him, and I can't risk being seen at this point.

"A month?" Umbridge whines. "A _month_? But I need it this evening, Snape! I have just found Potter using my fire to communicate with a person or persons unknown!"

"Really?" Snape answers, "Well, it doesn't surprise me. Potter has never shown much indication to follow school rules." Harry's face is trying to communicate something with Snape. Why he wants to do something like that, I don't know.

"I wish to interrogate him!" Umbridge shouts. Her whole body is shaking with fury. "I wish you to provide me with a potion that will force him to tell the truth!"

"I have already told you," Snape replies calmly, "that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum. Unless you wish to poison Potter – and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy for you if you did – I cannot help you. The only trouble is that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling…" The look on Harry's face becomes desperate. He's definitely trying to tell Snape something.

"You are on probation!" Umbridge shrieks. "You are being deliberately unhelpful! I expected better, Lucius Malfoy always speaks most highly of you!" That's really nothing to be proud of… "Now get out of my office!"

Snape bows to her and turns. I quickly dodge out of the way as he reaches for the door. Snape's eyes follow me. My heart stops. Harry shouts, "He's got Padfoot!" I turn to Harry, not carrying that Snape has noticed my movement. Padfoot is what Sirius is called… "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!" Snape stops turning the doorknob. He spins to face them as well.

"Padfoot?" questions Umbridge. "What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What does he mean, Snape?"

"I have no idea," Snape answers coldly. "Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if you ever apply for a job." Snape opens the door, and I duck through it. He snaps it shut and swiftly walks away.

I remove the charm and follow him. "You're going to do something, right?" I ask him urgently.

He doesn't reply.

I grab his arm. He looks at me with fury. "You're going to help him, right? You're going to help Sirius!" I say.

"I thought I heard movement," he comments but does not answer my question. "I thought you would have stayed in the room to find out what else happens."

"I don't care what else happens!" I cry out. "You have to do something about Sirius!" He starts walking again. I quickly catch up. "You didn't help McGonagall! You have to help him!"

"I do not have to do anything," he says coolly. "But _you_ must let me be now. Go away."

"NO!" I shout. "He is my cousin! He said he'd help me get away from Voldemort! _You _might be a loyal little Death Eater, _you_ might be faithful to His Highness, but _I _am not! If Sirius truly stands a chance of helping me, I want to help him! You _must_ do something!"

He looks sideways at me. "If I am loyal to the Dark Lord, why would I help a man who claims to be able to stop the Dark Lord?" he asks me.

I pause. He raises a valid point. I see him smirk as I scramble for an answer. We're nearly to the dungeons before I say, "Because the Dark Lord will not be happy if he finds out that I went wandering about and left Hogwarts in the dead of night under your watch, will he? And I'll do just that."

"And you expect that to save your dear cousin?" he asks. "You don't know where he is."

"That's right," I reply, "but I know where he _was_. I'll go there first. Maybe somebody there will know!"

"And you plan to get there how, exactly?" he says.

"I'll get off the Hogwarts grounds and Apparate!" I announce.

"Wanting to Apparate and actually doing it are different," he says mockingly.

"I know the difference! I've been Apparating since I was fourteen!" I tell him.

He pauses; no one really knows this about me. I keep it to myself for instances like this. "I wish you luck, Rodgers," he says before slamming the door in my face.

"And I wish you luck when Voldemort finds out!" I shout through the door. Then I run back up the stairs so I can leave Hogwarts and go to Grimmauld Place. I will find Sirius.

As a precaution, I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself again while I dash through the castle. And it's lucky that I do. As I reach the entrance hall, I see Umbridge forcing Harry and Hermione onto the grounds. I don't know where she's taking them, and I don't have time to speculate. They head toward the Forbidden Forest. I go the opposite direction from them as I dash for the edge of the Hogwarts grounds.

The moment I get past all of the charms that protect the castle and its grounds, I Disapparate. I open my eyes. I'm standing in front of Grimmauld Place. I push the door open. "Sirius!" I call. "Sirius!"

Lupin comes running out of the kitchen. "What's happened?" he asks anxiously.

"Where's Sirius?" I shout. Lupin points to the kitchen, where I immediately run. Sirius is making his way out of the room. We collide. "Sirius?" I give him a friendly hug. "But…if you're here…"

"What are you doing here, Charlotte?" he asks me. He is just as confused as I am.

"But…I thought…" Not a single clear thought crosses my mind. He watches me, waiting. "Harry thinks Voldemort has you…" I replay the scene of Umbridge's office again in my head, trying to piece anything together. "How long have you been here? Have you left at all recently?"

"No," Sirius answers. "What's going on?"

"But…" I pause. "Did you talk to Harry about half an hour ago?"

"No, Buckbeak was injured. I was with him," he answers. I met Buckbeak over Easter, so I don't have to waste time asking who he is.

"Was there anyone else here?" I say.

"Just Kreacher," Sirius answers. "He's the house elf."

I think for a moment. "Where is he now?"

"Kreacher!" Sirius calls. The house elf appears with a _pop!_ "Did you speak with Harry?"

"Kreacher has spoken with the Harry boy," he answers. I immediately don't like Kreacher as I do Dobby or Cosmo. Both of those house elves were helpful and answered questions clearly.

"When, Kreacher?" Sirius commands.

"Kreacher has spoken to the Harry boy many times," the elf answers.

I sigh. He's annoying and evasive. Sirius meets my eye. "Did you talk to him today, maybe an hour ago? Answer me! Do not lie! Answer me clearly!" Sirius shouts at him.

"Yes, Kreacher spoke with the Harry boy," the house elf replies.

"What did you say to him?" Sirius continues.

The elf looks around uneasily. "Kreacher said many things to the Harry boy."

Sirius looks utterly exasperated.

"Sirius!" Lupin's uneasy voice travels into the room. Sirius nods to me and leaves to answer Lupin.

I speak up, "Kreacher, where did you tell Harry Sirius was?"

The house elf looks at me scornfully. "Kreacher does not need to answer Master Sirius's friend. Kreacher serves the noble house of Black."

"I am the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange, nee Black," I answer. "Where did you tell Harry Sirius was?"

"Madam Bellatrix?" he asks, his voice lighter than it was a moment before.

"Yes, where did you tell Harry Sirius was?" I repeat.

"Kreacher told the Harry boy that Master Sirius was in the Department of Mysteries," he answers. "Kreacher said that Master Sirius will never return." His creepy little laugh fills the room.

I freeze. No wonder Harry was so upset. "Sirius!" I shout, running through his home. "Sirius!" He and Lupin emerge from one of the bedrooms and come down the stairs. "Harry believes Voldemort has you in the Department of Mysteries!"

"We just got word," Sirius says. "The Order is on their way. Harry has escaped with some other students and is already there. He's in danger." They rush past me.

"Where are you going?" I call after him, following closely.

"The Department of Mysteries!" Sirius answers as he opens the door.

I grab his arm. "It's not safe for you!" I argue. "You can't go!"

"Harry is in danger!" he argues. "I'm going!"

I pause. "Let me come with you!"

"You are not part of the Order," Lupin says. "You can't. You need to get back to Hogwarts."

"And just let the two of you go? You could die!" I argue.

"I don't have time for this!" Sirius shouts. "I have to save my godson!" Others begin arriving at Grimmauld Place. Most of whom I met over the Easter holidays (not as Charlotte Rodgers, of course, but as some other person).

"Lupin!" I say. He looks at me. "How did the Order find out?"

He shakes his head and says, "You should go. Now." I obey and Apparate back to Hogwarts.

I'm in the Forbidden Forest. I gulp. I hate this place. I start running. The adrenaline in me is partly from anxiety about Sirius going to the Department of Mysteries, but it's mostly from fear. Fear of the forest, fear for all of the Order members' lives, fear of Snape's anger at me. I pick up the pace. I can hardly see anything, and it occurs to me too late that I should take out my wand for light.

I plow into something and take it to the ground with me. I cough. Whatever it was that I ran into (I think it might be a tree) jabbed something rather blunt into my stomach. I cough again and place my hand against the spot on my stomach that I'm sure will be badly bruised. I choke on the pain. Then I hear the ruffling of leaves beside me. Oh my God, it's alive! I scramble away and pull out my wand. "Don't move!" I shout. "_Lumos!_" I see Snape standing a few feet away from me. He, too, has his wand drawn. "Bloody hell! Why don't you watch where you're going!" I pull myself to my feet, still coughing from what I assume was his elbow that had been jabbed into me.

"Rodgers?" he asks. "I see your attempt of finding your cousin ended poorly."

"Actually, _professor_," I reply. "I found him. He was at –" I stop. I can't tell him where Sirius is. "He was fine. Until he learned that Harry has gone to –" I stop again. I can't tell him where Harry is, either. "He's fine for the moment, thanks."

"Lower your wand," he commands.

"Lower my wand in the Forbidden Forest when you're still pointing yours at me?" I ask. "No, thank you." I pause. "Wait a minute…what are you even doing out here?"

He wavers. He opens his mouth to answer but stops.

"Aww, professor," I say sarcastically, "did you come searching for me?"

"Not a chance," he says seriously, "I was looking for…" he drifts off. "Never mind. We should go back to the castle now."

"I don't think so," I reply. "I'm going to stay in here for a while longer."

"Put your wand down," he commands. "We're going back to the castle now."

"I don't think so," I repeat. I spin on my heel and walk away from him.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he shouts. I'm hit in the back with the Impediment Jinx and am thrown onto my face. "Like you so brilliantly pointed out, the Dark Lord will not be happy with me for letting you wander around, especially not in a place as dangerous as the Forbidden Forest."

"_Protego!"_ I whisper. I hop up to my feet. "I also don't think he'd be happy with you attacking me!"

He smirks at me. I turn again and start walking away from him. Another spell hits my shield.

I turn around. "Stop," I command fiercely. "I'm not in the mood for a duel right now, professor."

"Then come with me back to the castle," he states.

"No, thank you," I say. Again, I turn to walk away from him. Another spell hits my shield. Quickly, I turn, release the shield, and send a jinx at him that he easily deflects with a shield of his own. He smirks again.

A hex flies at me, but I create a shield again. "You started this," he sneers. "You should have just come back to the castle with me."

I throw the Bat-Bogey Hex at him as he throws the Impediment Jinx at me once again. He roars in pain as my hex takes effect. I am thrown through the air and slammed against a tree by his jinx. While I fall to the ground, I cast a shield around myself. Another one of his attacks bounces off of it. He flings some of the rocks at me that had previously been on the ground. One hits me across the head. I groan, but get to my feet.

I press my hand against my bleeding head. I cast the Cheering Charm at him with a bit too much of a heavy hand, and he bursts into a fit of laughter. It's the first time I have ever actually heard him laugh. It's not a very comforting sound… It's a silent laugh, but every so often, when he's trying to catch his breath, a high-pitched sound escapes him. I stare, mesmerized, even though the coldness of it sends shivers down my spine. He doubles over with laughter and wipes a tear from his eye. I don't like this… He regains control long enough to take the charm off of himself. Then he looks at me with nothing but anger.

I quickly charm the rocks he has already used against me and fling them at him. He deflects a few, but one hits him in the knee rather hard. He grunts and grabs his injury. Then he points his wand at me and shouts, "_Incarcerous_!" Ropes burst from his wand and wrap around me. I collapse to the ground. "Shall we go to the castle now, Lestrange?" I know he's using my true last name strictly to antagonize me, but it doesn't matter why he's doing it. It's working. I growl at him as I try, to no avail, at freeing myself from the ropes. "I think it's a better idea if we just go inside." The ropes tighten around me. I yelp; they're digging into my skin. They tighten again.

I turn my wand to face me and whisper, "_Diffindo_." The ropes are cut away from me, but the force that cuts the ropes gashes my skin and cuts my robes as well. I bite back a wail. I'd rather Snape not know that I have sliced myself. The ropes fall away. I stand up uneasily. I throw the Impediment Jinx at Snape and knock him backward. He rams into a tree. Before I have a chance to say another thing, the red light of a Stunning Spell comes from the end of his wand and hits me in the chest.

I open my eyes to find Snape standing over me. "How-how long has it been?" I croak.

"A minute," he says. "I awoke you." He waves his wand and pulls me to my feet. "We're going back to the castle." He has my wand.

I don't argue. I hurt too much for that, and he has my weapon. I touch my side. The gash on my side has been healed, and the rip in my robes has been stitched back together. I don't say anything about this. I walk after him. "How did Harry and the others escape?" I ask.

"Thestrals," he answers. "They flew them all out of here."

"Who have you seen die? To be able to see the thestrals?" I ask without thinking.

He looks over at me. "I'm a Death Eater," he says in answer. I guess that means he's killed a lot of people or at least as seen a lot of people die. I don't push the question.

We're still a good ways from the castle so I say, "Your laugh is odd," just to upset him. "You don't laugh often, do you?"

"There's not much to laugh about," he replies.

"Well, I think you should put that charm on yourself sometimes," I comment. "I think it might make your laugh sound more…natural…if you did it more often."

"Stop talking," he commands.

"But I like talking…" I say. "I don't really want to stop."

"_Langlock_," he says calmly. I try to question him, but my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth. Snape smirks at me as I fight to speak.

I follow him all the way to his office. I take a seat across from him. He waves his wand and releases my tongue. "My wand, please," I say.

"Not yet," he replies.

A few minutes pass.

"What are we waiting for?" I ask.

He remains silent.

A few more minutes pass. Finally, his fireplace burns green fire, and a piece of paper flies out of it. He goes and picks it up. Then he looks at me. "Sirius is dead," he says. "Dumbledore has returned."

* * *

**Snape and Charlotte really just don't get along...**

**What'd you think of their duel?**

**Do you think she'll find out he's in the Order?**

**Review!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hi! I hope you like this chapter. I certainly enjoyed writing it:)**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! You're not going crazy. I love Snape! He's one of my favorite Harry Potter characters!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, that's not going to be her favorite thing to hear... I can hear his laugh only because I based it on a friend's but made it crueler lol. There's a big clue given to her in this chapter, but she doesn't realize because she's upset. It'll come up later though.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I love writing their fights! I'll update today, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday though:) It won't be as bad you think...time will fly by!**

**FredWeaslyForever15: Thanks for reviewing! She didn't erase Umbridge's memory, only changed them**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I really liked making them duel:) Voldemort doesn't know that Snape is in the Order, which makes it harder for Charlotte to find out or even join herself.**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! She may or may not join the Order. You'll just have to keep reading to find out;) She was definitely serious about wanting to join it,**

* * *

**CHAPTER 32**

My throat constricts as I think about what Snape has just said. _Sirius is dead._ How can he be dead? One of the four remaining family members I have left is just…gone. How can that be? I look at Snape. He hasn't spoken, but he doesn't look disturbed by this news at all. Poor Harry…I just lost a fourth of my family. He lost the only family he had. Tears blur my vision. This can't be happening. I have to ask if there's any truth in this, so I whisper, "What?"

"Sirius Black is dead," Snape answers calmly.

So I hadn't misheard. My eyes tear themselves away from Snape's face and look down at my shaking hands. "What?" I say again.

"Sirius is dead," he repeats.

I clear my throat to cease the burning. "How?"

He doesn't answer.

I look back into his eyes. "How?" I repeat with more force.

He swallows and squirms uneasily, like he doesn't want to tell me. After a short internal battle, he says, "Bellatrix Lestrange."

My hands fly to cover my face as I bend over in the chair and cry. My own mother…she killed her cousin. She…she's ruined another person's life. She's taken Harry's last remaining family. It wasn't enough to steal Neville Longbottom's parents. She had to steal Harry's godfather, too. My heart burns like the flames I would like to throw Bellatrix into.

I look back at Snape. Still, he is not the least bit perturbed. "Harry?" I ask.

"With Dumbledore, the reinstated headmaster of Hogwarts," he answers.

"That's not what I mean…" I reply.

"If you're asking about his state of mind, the short letter I got does not answer that," he says. "But if I am right about Potter, he is probably distressed. He's lost his dear godfather." Sarcasm is evident in his voice. "But Black's new state might be better for him than being locked up in Azkaban or Grimmauld Place."

I jump to my feet. "A man has died, and all you want to do is attack him!" I shout. "How dare you! He was a good man!"

"Are you sure we are speaking of the same person?" Snape asks.

"Shut up!" I shriek. "You have no right to speak of him that way! He _was_ a good man! It doesn't matter what he did while he was a teenager! He dedicated his life to bring down Voldemort, which automatically makes him a better man than you!"

"Sirius Black?" he asks again. "A better man than me?"

"Yes!" I cry.

"You must not have known as much about your dear cousin as you believe," he says calmly.

"I know enough to know that he is a good man!"

Snape lifts his eyebrows like he can't believe what I'm saying. "Are you _positive_ that we are talking about the same man?"

"It doesn't matter what he and Potter and Lupin did to you while attending Hogwarts, Snape! Let it go!" I yell at him. "It was nearly _twenty years ago!_ Get over it already!"

"You know nothing about those years," he says softly but dangerously. "And it would be wise to know that you are not as educated in those matters as you think you are."

"Really?" I scream. "I spent a week with Sirius! And do you want to know what we did the entire time?" I ask him. "He told me stories about his Hogwarts days!" He pales slightly. "Oh, yes, Snape! I know it all!"

Snape then smirks. "You don't know it all," he says.

"Sirius gave me a play-by-play, _Snivellus Snape!"_ I snarl, "From the moment you met on the Hogwarts Express to the moment you all parted your ways after your seventh-year!"

"GET OUT!" he bellows.

"No," I answer calmly and steadfastly.

He stands to his feet. "GET OUT!"

"Only if you want the word spreading about how the intimidating Professor Severus Snape was bullied by Harry Potter's father as a child!" I screech. "Only if you want the word spreading that in your fifth year of Hogwarts, you ruined the only friendship you _ever_ had by calling your one-and-only defender against Harry's father a Mudblood! Does it burn that your only friend married your worst enemy?"

Snape's face turns red with fury. He sweeps across his desk faster than I would have thought humanly possible, grabs me by the neck, and shoves me against the shelves of potions and potion ingredients. He lifts me into the air so my face is even with his face, "If you ever speak of –"

"Wasn't going to," I cut him off, struggling to breathe. "Sirius regretted it. He told me so. I wouldn't discuss with anyone what he told me. You should just realize that the past is the past." I can tell by the look on his face that he will never forgive them for what happened to him, he will always hold a grudge, but I don't say anything else. Slowly, he loosens his grip on me and lowers me to the floor.

A strained silence fills the room until I say, "I'll never speak of it again. It's behind us. It's behind them. It's behind you." He completely releases me.

It's silent again until I ask, "How did Sirius die?"

"Rescued Potter. Dueled Bellatrix. Was hit by a spell cast by your mother and fell through the Veil separating life and death," Snape says emotionless. "It's a one-way trip."

"Don't refer to her as 'my mother.' I don't want that affiliation…" I say. My voice is shaky when I ask, "He's really gone?"

Snape nods, his face grim.

My throat burns once again. I can't think straight. I know shouldn't be upset about Sirius's death as much as I am, but I can't help it. He was one of the few who knew the truth about me, but he didn't treat me any differently. Before I know what's happening, I've wrapped my arms around Snape and am crying into his chest. He pats my back awkwardly. I pull away quite quickly. "I'm sorry," I whisper. He's not Professor McGonagall. He's not as comforting in this type of situation as she is.

He doesn't stop me when I walk to his desk and grab my wand. Neither does he stop me when I leave his office.

* * *

Word quickly spreads that Voldemort has returned. It's all the _Daily Prophet_ can talk about. I've heard through the grapevine that Hermione and Ron are in the hospital wing. While I had been dueling Snape in the Forbidden Forest over nothing, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville had been taking on Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries. My little fight with Snape is ridiculous when compared to that. I don't know why it had seemed like such a big deal at the time.

I make my way to the hospital wing. Harry is making his way out, and Draco approaches him flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "You're dead, Potter," I hear Draco say.

"Funny," Harry says back, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around by now…"

"You're going to pay," Draco replies. "_I'm_ going to make you pay for what you've done to my father…"

"Well, I'm terrified now," Harry answers sarcastically, "I s'pose Lord Voldemort's just a warm-up act compared to you three – what's the matter?" he comments on their petrified faces. "He's your dad's mate, isn't he? Not scared of him, are you?"

"You think you're such a big man, Potter. You wait. I'll have you. You can't land my father in prison –"

Harry cuts Draco off with, "I thought I just had."

"The dementors have left Azkaban," Draco says. "Dad and the others'll be out in no time…"

"Yeah, I expect they will. Still, at least everyone knows what scumbags they are now –"

Draco tries to whip out his wand, but Harry is faster and has his pressed against Draco. Snape pushes past me. "Potter!" he shouts. "What are you doing, Potter?"

"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," Harry replies.

"Put that wand away at once," Snape commands. "Ten points from Gryff –" Snape looks over to the giant hourglasses on the wall that hold the points for each house. "Ah, I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hourglass to take away. In that case, Potter, we will simply –"

"Add some more?" McGonagall walks past my eavesdropping position. I gape at her. Why had I not seen her coming? I should've been paying more attention. She is walking with a cane in one hand and is holding a tartan carpetbag in the other hand.

"Professor McGonagall!" Snape says. "Out of St. Mungo's, I see!"

She hands her traveling cloak and her carpetbag to Crabbe and Goyle and sends them away. Once they are gone, she looks at the hourglasses. "Right then, well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points apiece for alerting the world to the return of You-Know-Who! What say you, Professor Snape!"

"What?" he snaps. "Oh – well – I suppose…"

McGonagall awards the Houses with the points then takes away ten from Harry as Snape had first wanted. She then suggests that Harry and Draco go outside. They pass me and do as McGonagall said. I wait until Snape leaves McGonagall before I approach her.

"Professor!" I say.

"Rodgers," she answers after turning to see who had called her name. "What are you doing inside on a day like this?"

"I was going to see Hermione, but I didn't want to interrupt the whole thing with Professor Snape and Draco and Harry," I lie. I look away from her. "How are you?"

"I've been better, but I was worse before," she answers. "I believe it's safe to assume that you did not come to ask me how I am?"

I smile. "Not really, professor," I say. "I truly wanted to see how you were…" I clear my throat. "But, there is something else I wanted to talk to you about."

McGonagall puts her hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you come by my office later?"

I nod. "Thanks, professor." Then I turn and leave McGonagall where she stands.

A few hours later, I go to Professor McGonagall's office. I tell her about the Easter holidays. My description of Voldemort leaves her a little pale, but the anecdote of me trying to get away from him actually makes her smile. She seems rather nervous when I tell her about my duel with Lucius, like she thinks it to be a bad idea that I had to duel him. But when I tell her about my duel with Bellatrix, she is positively frantic. I almost don't tell her about the Cruciatus Curse, but I figure it best that I do. She becomes very angry when I tell her how Bellatrix Cruciated me, but seems rather proud when I tell her how I returned the favor.

I pause from my storytelling, debating on whether or not I should tell her certain things. "Don't be upset with me, professor," I preface.

"Don't start a story that way," she answers kindly. There's a hint of a smile on her lips.

"It…I…um…" How do I start this? "We saw the whole Stunning thing during our Astronomy O.W.L." That seems a reasonable enough place to start. "We were almost through, but I couldn't wait…I left the exam early."

"You did _what?"_ she asks me. "How can I not be upset about that? It's your future, Charlotte!"

"I know, I know," I answer. "But that's not really what I'm afraid you'll be upset about…"

Her lips thin out.

I avert my eyes from her. "I cast the Disillusionment Charm on myself and followed Umbridge to her office…where I confronted her…" I pause. Then I blurt, "I know I shouldn't have! But I was so angry that she…well, that she had four of her little minions Stun you…so I…kind of, sort of…got revenge…"

McGonagall shifts in her seat, and I'm forced to look up at her. "What did you do?" she asks me quietly.

"To start with, I called her a coward – but that's not really that big of a deal," I begin. "I took her wand and threw it into the swamp that Fred and George put in front of office, so she was weaponless… Then I, um," I clear my throat, "cast the Stinging Hex at her; it got her in the face…" I clear my throat and ignore the odd look McGonagall is giving me, "But – er – I didn't see that as good enough punishment for what she did. So, I – er –" I clear my throat again, "I, um…I Cruciated her…"

"You _what?"_ she asked shrilly.

I clear my throat again. "Cruciated her…"

McGonagall is quiet for a moment. "What did she do?" she finally asks.

"Threatened to send me to Azkaban, but I…changed some of her memories…she has no idea that I went to her office…" I say.

The Transfiguration professor is quiet for another few minutes. "Why would you do something so incredibly…stupid? What if you hadn't gotten the memory charms right? You could have gone to Azkaban! And for what?"

"If I went to Azkaban," I say, "it would have been worth it. You could have died…" I meet her eye, and there is a distinct moisture in them.

"That…" she begins but stops and closes her eyes. When she reopens them, she says, "That's very touching. Thank you."

I smile at her. "Besides if I went to Azkaban, I firmly believe Voldemort would have done something to retrieve me."

"Never bank on what he may or may not do," she says firmly.

"Yes, professor," I answer.

I tell her about my duel with Snape, but she doesn't seem upset in the least. I don't know why that is, but I'm sure that it probably had something to do with either the fact that Snape hadn't cared enough to mention it or the fact that he had initiated it. Either way, she's proud of me for holding my own against him. Of course, I make her promise that she will not to hold it against him and that she will not bring it up to him.

Hermione and Ron are dismissed from the hospital wing three days before the end of term. I have yet to talk to them. But I am trying to find a time.

Umbridge is dismissed at dinnertime the day before the end of term. She tries sneaking out of the castle so no one notices, but Peeves, under orders of Fred and George, follows her and makes a scene by attacking her with a walking stick and a sock of chalk. Many of the students chase after her as she runs from the grounds. I remain seated. Nothing Peeves can do to her at this point can compare to what I've already done to her (even if she can't remember it).

The ride from Hogwarts on the Hogwarts Express is when I plan to talk to the Golden Trio. There's no way to get around it. I have to speak with them.

So, when the train leaves the station, I start making my way to their compartment. I'm postponed by Draco's attack on them and the D.A.'s retaliation, but once all of that clears off, I'm free to enter the compartment. When I enter, they've obviously just stopped talking about something that has left all but a disgruntled Ron laughing. I sit down next to Ginny (who I'm not overly fond of telling all of this to, but I decide I probably should; she'll learn sooner or later). Ginny is sitting next to Hermione, who is across from Harry, who is beside Ron. They all look at me expectantly.

I take a deep breath and glance at Hermione. Then I look back at the rest of them. "There's something I need to tell you," I begin.

* * *

**Do you think Snape will bring up her knowing the past or just let it go?**

**Review!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**harkness: Thanks for reviewing! I'm writing it every day I can:) Thanks!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I try to answer the questions without giving too much away :) I agree, he's definitely not one to let things go. You find out in this chapter where she goes!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I agree with both of your takes on what Snape would do. I guess we'll just have to wait to see how it play out... And I'm definitely going to use the opportunity for things:) She's telling the Golden Trio and Ginny something...**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I brought back old memories! I love it when something reminds me of the past!**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I would say that there aren't too many chapters that I end that way, but sometimes it's necessary:)**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks:) It makes me really happy that people are loving my story! The Draco thing will be a difficult one to solve until later one in the story... I hope you keep reading! I update as fast as I can because, if you're reading an actual book, you won't wait a week or a month before reading the next chapter, you know? So I try to do an update every day**

* * *

**CHAPTER 33**

Okay, so maybe starting the conversation by saying, "There's something I need to tell you," was not my best idea ever. Once the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. All of the inhabitants of this little compartment simultaneously had an intake of breath. Well, Hermione didn't. She already knows most of what I am about to say, at least she probably thinks she does.

It's been a minute of almost complete silence as I play with my fingers and think about how to follow that up. I definitely should have thought about it all before I entered the room, but I hadn't planned this far. I'm just kind of winging it at this point. Hermione helps me out of this rut by saying, "Charlotte, it's okay."

I look up. There are already tears in my eyes. "Don't hate me," I say. "I'm still the same Charlotte Rodgers that was in the D.A., that is dating Fred, that Stunned Snape for the fun of it…"

"You did what for fun?" Ginny asks. I had forgotten that she doesn't know that story.

I look at her. "Have them tell you that story later," I say. She nods. I continue, "Harry, I want to start by saying –"

"If you're going to say how sorry you are for my loss, don't," he cuts me off coldly.

I incline my head to him. "That's not exactly what I was going to say," I reply. Maybe I thought about saying that, but it was definitely too cliché. So I don't think I will. "I'd like to start, Harry, by saying that I spent a week with Sirius – please don't interrupt me," I add when I see him on the verge of doing so. "Let me finish. All of you can ask me questions when I'm done." They all nod.

"I spent the better half of the Easter holidays at Grimmauld Place with him," I say. "We talked a lot. And I just want to tell you, Harry, how much he loved you. When he talked about you, his eyes lit up like they did when he talked about his days at Hogwarts with your father." A weak smile prods at Harry's lips. "He talked about you a lot that week, any time he could, really."

I take a deep breath. "And I want to apologize for what happened – what did I ask about you interrupting me?" Harry had just tried to cut me off again. "Anyways, I have a reason for the apology; it's not the sympathetic apology you have no doubt gotten from a load of others." I fight down my fear of telling them. This has to be done. There is no other way. "I am more connected to his death than you think…" They all look suspicious, so I quickly add, "No, I was not involved in any way, if that is what you're thinking."

It looks like I'm going to have to backtrack a little bit. Hermione has kept her word. They have absolutely no idea about my true past. "You all know me as Charlotte Rodgers, a transfer student from Durmstrang. This is obviously a lie," I say. "It was a lie concocted by Dumbledore. I am in danger…sort of. But I'm also safer than any of you." This sounds just as weird to me as it does to them; I can see it on their faces. "Hang on…let me go back…

"My mother was put into Azkaban in '81. I was taken by a great-uncle who took care of me for a few months before he faked my death, changed my name, and put me in an orphanage, where I stayed for the next nine years. On my tenth birthday, I was given a letter by the woman who ran the orphanage. Her name was Mrs. Stoico. My great-uncle told me that I am a witch and that my mother died in Azkaban." I want to tell them that I am a Metamorphmagus, but I don't want anyone else to know, just in case something happens. "I left the orphanage that night and found his home.

"There was really nothing there. He had already died. I took a pocket watch from him, but the family crest was worn pretty badly. I also took a bag of gold. I retreated to Diagon Alley, where I stole to live," I tell them. "I spent the next five years hiding in caves and Muggle homes. I taught myself magic from the books I would steal periodically from Diagon Alley. I had also taken a wand." I take another deep breath. They're all just watching me, and it makes me really nervous. I keep glancing at Hermione, who already knows most of this, because she gives me encouraging smiles. The rest of them all but gape at me.

"For five years I was on the run from Death Eaters, Lucius Malfoy being my most fierce hunter – yes, I knew he was a Death Eater before I began dating Draco," I answer the question I see popping in their eyes. "He found me and caught me two weeks before the beginning of this year's first term. They had –" I stop. I almost let slip that Snape is a Death Eater. "They had me sent to Hogwarts for my protection, under the orders of Voldemort." Ron and Ginny flinch; Hermione fidgets around; Harry is the only one unfazed by me using Voldemort's name. "I was sent there because he wants me safe – which is how I am safer than most of you. He wants me well taken care of – I'll get to why in a moment," I answer the other question I see flare in their eyes.

"Now, as all of you know, I dated Draco," I continue. "For the Christmas holidays, I went to Malfoy Manor. You can just imagine Lucius's reaction." I smile, thinking back. "But, I guess that wasn't really the worst part…" I swallow down the sorrow I feel building up in me. "The Death Eaters had escaped from Azkaban in November. The Ministry didn't let anyone know until after Christmas, but I don't know what changed and made them tell, so don't ask that…

"Narcissa Malfoy is Bellatrix Lestrange's sister. So naturally, Bellatrix was at Malfoy Manor and has been there for a while now. The second day of the holidays is when I met her," I say. "Narcissa took a look at the pocket watch," I take it out of my robes and hand it to Harry. "Do you recognize the emblem?"

He stares at it for a moment, trying to decipher it. "This is the Black family crest…" he says quietly.

I nod. "So I found out," I reply. He hands it back. "My great-uncle was Alphard Black – yes, Sirius's uncle," I say to the light that flickers in Harry's face. "My mother did not die in Azkaban as I was lead to believe most of my life. My mother is Bellatrix Lestrange." Harry's face becomes pale and expressionless. "And that is why I feel I should apologize. It was my mother that killed your godfather, my second-cousin." I take a deep breath. "I met Tonks in Hogsmeade in February. She took me to meet Sirius over the Easter holidays, after…" Then it hits me that I haven't told them about the Easter holidays.

"The beginning of my Easter holidays was spent at Malfoy Manor, where I was forced to duel Lucius and Bellatrix. I met Tonks in Hogsmeade again, and she took me to meet Sirius." I meet Harry's eye. "And you could have told me what Voldemort looked like. I met him that day. It was awful." I lighten the mood with the story of when he came in and I almost broke everything to get away from him. "…you could have saved me a lot of trouble," I finish the story.

We're all silent for a moment. "I believe I'm done now," I say.

Ron is the first to ask a question. "So…you're Malfoy's cousin?" he asks.

I nod.

"Malfoy dated his cousin!" he laughs. Then he realizes that the same applies to me, and his laughter quiets.

"You can't speak of this to anyone. Only three people who aren't in the family or connected to Voldemort know about this: Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape," the latter is connected to Voldemort, but they don't need to know that. "Now you four know, and you mustn't tell anyone." I quickly add, "Not even Fred. I need to be the one to tell him."

"What's your real name?" Ginny asks me.

"Aurelia Lestrange," I answer.

"How did your uncle fake you death?" Hermione asks.

I tell them about Regulus, about what Narcissa had told me during the Easter holidays.

"Why does Snape know?" Harry asks me fiercely.

"He's the Head of my House," I lie. "Dumbledore thought he should know."

"And McGonagall?" Ron asks.

"I wanted to tell her," I reply.

"How are you safer than the rest of us?" Hermione asks me.

I pause. I can't tell them about having Voldemort's child, not yet. There is only so much unwanted information that one can take in a single day. "Well," I answer, "I am the daughter of two of Voldemort's greatest supporters and soldiers, Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange." I quickly scramble to find a suitable lie. "He knows that Bellatrix is becoming crazed…he wants me to fill her position in the Inner Circle," with their faces, I add, "I'm not going to, but he thinks I will…so he doesn't want anything happening to me…"

"So you're really the daughter of Bellatrix?" Harry asks me.

I nod. "Yes."

None of them seem to want to ask me anything. Then Harry asks, quite abruptly, "Is Snape a Death Eater?"

I freeze. "He was," I say slowly.

"Is he now, though?" Harry prods.

I don't want to lie. But I don't see a way I can twist the truth with this. I have no other choice than to lie. "No," I say firmly. "He has not been in any of the meetings…" Neither have I, but still…

"Are you sure?" he asks me.

It's like he wants Snape to be a Death Eater. "I'm positive," I answer.

He becomes oddly dispirited after that.

"Why are you telling us this?" Ron asks.

I look at him. "Because," I say, "someone needed to know. And Harry deserved to know." I meet each of their eyes. "I'm trusting you not to tell anyone." They all nod. Silence falls into the compartment.

"But if you're not Charlotte Rodgers," Harry says, "why does your name still appear as 'Charlotte Rodgers' on the Marauder's Map?"

"The what?" I ask. Harry takes out a map of Hogwarts. There are names indicating where each inhabitant of the place is currently located. "I'm still Charlotte Rodgers, though that might not be my given name. I'm not Aurelia Lestrange, I'm Charlotte Rodgers." I stand to leave, but I don't necessarily want to end the conversation in such an odd way, so I tell them about my revenge on Umbridge (conveniently leaving out the part of the Cruciatus Curse) then leave the compartment.

When the Hogwarts Express stops at King's Cross and I exit through Platform 9¾, I realize that I have absolutely nowhere to go for the summer. I'll have to go find a Muggle home to invade. The thought bums me out a bit.

Then I see a red-haired boy waving to me, and my spirits rise considerably. I go to Fred and give him a hug. He kisses me lightly then turns to two redheaded people behind him. These must be his parents. "Charlotte," he says, "this is my mother and father," so I was right, "Molly and Arthur Weasley."

I shake Mrs. Weasley's hand. "It's great to meet you," she says. "I've heard so much about you from Fred."

"It's great to meet you too," I say. She's much more agreeable than Narcissa had been.

I greet Mr. Weasley with the same warm greeting.

Fred pulls me to the side. "George and I have opened our shop in Diagon Alley," he says. "I expect you to come." He smiles at me.

"You know I will," I answer.

"Where are you staying for the summer?" he asks. "Where are your parents?"

As if on cue, Narcissa Malfoy walks up to the two of us. "Charlotte," she says. Fred shares the same confusion that I have. "Charlotte, your mother and father will not be able to get you until next week. They asked if you could stay with us until then."

I nod slowly. "I'm staying with you?" I ask.

"Yes, come along now," she says.

I look back up at Fred. "I'll come to your shop every day," I say.

"Great!" he answers excitedly. Then he bends to kiss me. I meet him halfway. He whispers to me, "Don't let the Malfoys give you any trouble. You can stay at the shop all day and night if you'd like."

I smile at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, then." I give him another hug before joining a scowling Narcissa to go to Malfoy Manor.

When I get to Malfoy Manor, I retreat to the guest room, where I stay only at night and early in the morning until I can rush to Diagon Alley to spend the entire day at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I do not get back to the manor until nearly midnight each night. Then I am gone by seven the next morning. This goes on for a week. I purposefully stay holed up in the guest room when I'm stuck at the manor. I don't want to accidentally run into Bellatrix and start a fight.

But after a week of this arrangement, things are changed. Voldemort arrives to take up residence at Malfoy Manor. I can't deal with this all summer. So, the eighth day of my being at the manor, Voldemort's second day, I decide to pay him a visit.

As I make my way down the steps, terror encompasses me. Am I really about to do this? Yes. Yes, I am. It is necessary. I find Narcissa. "Where is the Dark Lord?" I ask her.

"R-right through there," she says, pointing to the drawing room. I nod and start that way, but she grabs my arm. "What are you going to do?" he voice is hardly above a whisper.

"I'm going to ask a favor," I answer, winking at her. She pales. My humor is not funny to her…

I can feel her watching me as I head toward the drawing room.

"My Lord?" I call from the entrance.

"Charlotte," he says in that cold voice of his. "Please, do come in."

I enter the drawing room. "My Lord," I say with a slight bow. "I…I wanted to ask…"

"Anything, dear one," he says. I don't like him referring to me as this, but I don't say anything.

I look him in the eye and brace myself for the answer I might get. Ignoring the prickling on the back of my neck, I ask my question.

* * *

With a loud _pop!_, I Apparate on a street lined with dilapidated, brick houses. "Come on!" the one escorting me growls. It's dark out, the only light being the streetlights and the moonlight.

It takes all my willpower not to attack. My wrist is seized, and I am dragged through the streets until we reach the front door of one particular house. Maybe this was not the best idea I've ever had (I tend to have a lot of bad ideas). Maybe I shouldn't have asked. "Let go of me!" I hiss.

My mother turns to me, fury in her eyes. "You do not give _me_ commands," she snarls at me.

I turn my chin up defiantly.

"Still bitter about dear Sirius?" she asks me with a cackle. Her grip on my wrist tightens. "Come along! The faster Malfoy Manor rids itself of you, the better!"

"I know you don't want it to be true, _mother_," I say, "but I _am_ your daughter, and you should still try to treat me as such."

"My daughter is dead! You are not Aurelia!" she sneers at me. "You will never be Aurelia!"

"Except I am," I reply. Bellatrix is the only person to whom I admit that I am Aurelia. I deny it if anyone else brings it up. But I throw it in Bellatrix's face as often as I can without risking her killing me.

Her lip curls furiously. She takes her frustration out on the front door, banging on it as loudly harshly as possible. The door flies open with the irritated mutterings of a man. He tries to speak, but is frozen after laying eyes on me and my mother.

I lift my bag into view. "Hello," I say. "Looks like I'm spending the summer here, professor."

Snape frowns at the two of us. "The Dark Lord's orders," Bellatrix informs him. With her hand on my shoulder, she shoves me forward. I grab the door frame to keep from running into Snape. She addresses the wizard with a simple, "Good luck." Then she addresses me, "Enjoy your time in this Muggle dunghill." With that, she Disapparates, leaving me alone with Professor Snape. Yep, this has definitely been one of my absolute worst ideas yet. Snape steps aside to let me in. I enter his home, the home I will be in for the rest of the holidays.

* * *

**Did any of you see that one coming?**

**Of course, with this new arrangement, I'll have quite a few chapters dedicated to the holidays. I hope you don't mind:)**

**Review!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Thanks for all the reviews! I know it's not a big deal, but there's almost a hundred now, and that means a lot to me:)**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to catch people off guard! I love chapters with the two of them, too**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it'd be a nice change from the tension at Hogwarts. I'm really glad hardly anyone saw it coming! Bellatrix is one that I enjoy writing, especially when she's with Charlotte. I answered the thing about Wormtail in this chapter:) Just wait and see how he treats her! Lol. I've got so much planned for the holidays:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I caught you by surprise! Yes, the two of them annoy each other quite a lot!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I'm looking forward to all of their spats, too!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 34**

I follow Snape into a small sitting room. I look around. Shelves of black or brown leather-bound books line the walls. The room is dark and full of neglect. I feel like I'm in one of the caves I used to hide in. There's a tattered sofa behind an old, unstable little table, and there's a worn armchair beside the sofa. Only a candle lights the room.

I can feel Snape's eyes on me as I examine the place. It's awful. I think I would have preferred Malfoy Manor. Then I think about having to avoid Draco, Bellatrix, and Voldemort and decide that this is for the best. I give Snape a fake smile. "It's nice," I lie.

"You could always go back to the manor," he says coldly.

I shake my head. "Why would I want to do that? I like this place much more," I reply in a chipper voice. He probably knows the real reason I am here but doesn't say anything about it. Actually, he doesn't speak at all, which is very discomforting. Tension fills the void of speaking. I clear my throat, "Is there anywhere I can put this?" I lift my bag.

His lip curls in a snarl. When he starts walking off, I assume this is his answer, and I follow him. We go up a tiny flight of steps and enter a short hallway. There are four doors, two on each side of the hallway, all but one of which are open. I immediately want to know what's in the closed room.

Snape continues down the hallway and stops at the last door. It's as far away from the closed door as possible. I walk toward him, glancing into the second room, the first open one. It is a bedroom that is clearly not used. It has what looks like a queen-sized, soft bed. There's also a dresser. I keep walking. The third door is a tiny bathroom. Another few steps away is the last open door. Snape motions me in. The room is bare with a bed half the size of the one I saw down the hall. I throw my bag onto it. It creaks. I sit down. It is almost as hard as the one he had transfigured to keep me captive in the potions storeroom.

Snape raises his eyebrow at me. No doubt he gave me the worst room to make me want to return to Malfoy Manor. "What's the empty room down there?" I ask, pointing in the general direction. "It looked better than this one."

My words have the reaction I was hoping for: He scowls at me. "It's a vacant room," he says coolly.

"And you didn't put your guest in the better room?" I ask, making sure to sound both surprised and slightly offended.

"You're not a guest," he says with a smirk. "You're a nuisance." _Well then…just tell me how you feel there, professor_, I think to myself.

I get up, leaving my bag on the bed. "Okay, then," I say in a sweet voice to impersonate Umbridge; Snape grimaces. "Shall I take a tour myself or will you show me around? If I'm going to be staying here, I should know where everything else is, right?"

"You are not going to wander around my house," he says firmly.

"So you'll be leading the way then?" I reply.

He steps out of the room. He points to the bathroom. "The only restroom you are allowed to use." He motions to the empty room. "A room you are not to enter." He skips over the closed room altogether. I reach for the knob when he's not looking, but his hand pounces on my arm and throws it aside. "A room you are not permitted to enter," he says softly. I follow him down the steps. "The sitting room. Do not touch anything that is not yours." The sitting room has an opening and a closed door connected to it. He walks through the opening. There is a tiny kitchen and a rundown table that only has three chairs. The room is crowded. "Can you cook?"

I inwardly moan. I know where this is going. "Somewhat," I answer.

"Then that is how you can make payment for intruding my home," he comments. "Cook three meals a day, and your stay here will not be as…intolerable for you."

"Are you serious?" I ask him.

He looks at me with dark, intimidating eyes. "Yes, Miss Lestrange," he replies. "I had a servant; Wormtail was his name. He left earlier today." His face becomes annoyed. "Now I see why," bitterness seeps out of him. "And since it was your fault that he's gone –"

"It was the Dark Lord's orders," I interrupt him.

He continues as if I had never spoken, "You are to cook three meals a day. If you are going to stay here, it will not be for free." We leave the small kitchen. He points to the closed door. "An Undetectable Charm that leads to a basement. It is where I do most of my potion-making. You are not to open that door unless I give you permission, understood?" I nod. He points to the only other door in the room. He walks to it and opens it. It leads outside. He says, "Where you will go if you do not obey my rules."

I nod again. "Yes, sir." He closes the door and takes a seat in the armchair. Then he blocks himself from my view with a large newspaper. I go to the shelves, searching for a book. I run my hands along the leather bindings.

"What are you doing?" he asks me.

I jump and look at him. He has lowered his paper and is peering over the top of it at me. "Trying to find a book," I answer.

"Did I not tell you that you are to touch only the things that are yours?" he asks softly.

I gape at him. "All right then," I reply. I go to sit down on the sofa.

"I do not believe that is yours either," he comments.

"Where am I supposed to go?" I ask him through my gritted teeth.

"You are free to go to the room I have so graciously lent you," he answers.

Rolling my eyes, I sigh and pull Uncle Alphard's pocket watch out of my pocket (I'm wearing Muggle clothes once again). It's nearly noon. I told Fred I wouldn't be able to go to the shop until two. Oh well, I'll just show up early, because I am definitely not about to stay here with Snape. I go to the door. "Leaving already?" he asks.

"I'll be back later," I answer. I open the door.

"Where are you going?" he asks. "I'm sure the Dark Lord does not want you roaming about."

"Diagon Alley," I say calmly. "And he doesn't care. He never stopped me before, nor did he have anyone else stop me."

"That was at Malfoy Manor. You are no longer there," Snape replies.

"You're right," I answer cheerily. "And I'll make sure to bring something back for you to eat as a thank you." I exit before he can say anything.

I Apparate to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and step into the large joke shop. There is a swarm of people clogging the aisles. There are two levels of products being sold, but there is no ceiling on the first floor, so it is spacious. I search the rails of the second floor until I see Fred. I have to say, "Excuse me," many times to get around the shoppers. When I start up the steps, I call, "Fred!"

He turns. "Charlotte!" And he makes his way to meet me.

I wrap my arms around him. "Busy today, aren't you?" I say.

He pulls away. "What?" his voice is full of false indignation. "You act like we're not always like this!"

"I thought you wouldn't be here till later," George says when he makes it over to us.

"Got away from _them_," I answer with a smile. "Bellatrix was happy to see me go, too."

"You think she'd be happy getting her daughter back after sixteen years," George replies. "If Mum ever lost Ginny and found her years down the road," he glances at Fred, "she'd go mad! We think she mixes us up now, can you imagine that, Fred?"

"Forget telling us apart!" Fred agrees. "She wouldn't even remember our names!"

I laugh with them. I haven't known Mrs. Weasley long, but I have noticed that she mixes them up if she's caught off guard.

"Why don't you just leave them if they like to get rid of you?" Fred asks.

I can't tell them that I'm staying with Snape now. They don't trust him as it is, and if they found out that Voldemort consented to me staying with him, red flags would definitely be raised. "They want me to stay 'safe.' Going off on my own would not be considered 'safe' in their eyes…"

"You won't be alone!" Fred argues. "Mum has offered for you to stay at The Burrow! She doesn't want you staying with the Malfoys…"

I smile. "And I appreciate the offer. But they see your family as blood traitors – I don't, of course," I add. "But they do. They'd never allow it."

"Then come stay with us," George offers.

"Yeah, George and I can share a room until you leave for Hogwarts. We don't mind!" Fred agrees.

"I don't want to take your room from you!" I argue.

"Then you can share my room with me!" Fred announces.

I know I'm blushing, but I try to ignore it. "As much as I'd love to –"

"They won't allow it?" Fred interjects.

"Precisely," I answer. "Besides, I don't think your mum will take too kindly to me sharing a room with you."

"That's probably true," Fred says dejectedly. We start perusing over the merchandise. I've never bought anything, and I think I might today. When George steps away, Fred whispers in my ear from behind me, "One day though."

Heat flushes my face. I don't turn to face him. I'm sure he can already see the red in my cheeks.

In the nearly seven hours I spend in the store, I have to forcibly stop myself from buying everything. It's all so interesting, and I want to try it all. I end up only getting a couple of the Edible Dark Marks, mostly as a joke for myself. Fred doesn't want me to pay, but after half an hour of haggling around, I agree to go to dinner with him at The Burrow in exchange for the treats.

The rest of the Weasley family has already eaten by the time Fred, George, and I get there. I go to hug Mrs. Weasley. "Charlotte," she greets me happily. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to come tonight."

"I didn't think I was either," I say, then pause. "If you don't have enough for me, I can –"

"Nonsense!" she interrupts. "There's always enough!"

The twins and I take seats around the table, and with a wave of her wand, Mrs. Weasley presents us with the food she has presumably prepared earlier that evening. Her food is always amazing. I quickly get a plate out and dig in, as do Fred and George. With our silent eating, we're done within fifteen minutes. Only then does Mrs. Weasley take a seat across from me, next to George. "Charlotte," she says.

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley?" I ask. She looks upset about something. Have I done something wrong? I replay everything I've done the past few days that they would know about. I can't find anything.

"Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" she asks. "I don't like you staying there with them."

This again… I hate talking about this with people I care about. I'm just so tired of the lies. "I don't think there is," I answer quietly. "I've thought of everything, but…"

She nods. I guess she expected this answer. "You're always welcome here if you find yourself in need of getting away," she replies.

I open my mouth but have to stop and force down the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes. "Thank you, Mrs. Weasley."

We're here for a short while after that before we Apparate back to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. It's nearly nine when get there. "I have to go," I tell Fred quietly. We stand over by the cash register while George busies himself on the second floor with something.

"So soon?" he asks me.

"Yeah, I have to take a meal to…someone," I answer.

His face drops. "Is it Malfoy? Is he making you bring him dinner now?" he sounds rather peeved by this.

I smile to reassure him. "Of course not," I say. "If it were him, I'd be too tempted to put some poison in it."

His mood lightens after that. "Where are you getting the food from? We should have brought something back. I'm sure Mum wouldn't have minded."

"I don't want to take them something that good," I reply.

"Take care of yourself," he says. I know it makes him nervous that I am staying in the same place as Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy…if only he knew that Lord Voldemort had been there too… At least now my biggest worry is Severus Snape.

"Of course."

He takes me into his arms for a goodbye kiss. One of his hands finds its way to my lower back to pull me close to him while his other weaves its way through my hair. I put both of my hands behind his neck and hold him tight. I sink into his kiss. All of my worries seem to vanish when I'm with him. Now all I want to do is stay with him.

"Hey, Fred!" George's voice rings through the shop.

Fred and I pull away from each other. "Bloody hell." Fred closes his eyes as if praying for patience. "Yeah, George!" he calls back.

"I've got another idea for the shop!" he shouts back.

Fred smiles at me. "Sorry about that," he says.

"It's okay," I answer. "I really have to go." Fred hugs me one last time before I leave the shop. The last I see of Fred is him running up the stairs excitedly to see what George was thinking of.

I stop at the Leaky Cauldron and get Snape some soup. I know it's not good soup; I had the same kind right after the Christmas holidays while I waited for Dumbledore's response to my letter. I wait there in the Leaky Cauldron until the soups cools significantly. Then I Disapparate from Diagon Alley. I stop in front of Snape's door. I don't knock. I just walk straight in.

Snape looks up then glances at the clock. It's almost ten now, since I wasted time in the pub. "Dinner was nearly three hours ago," he says.

"Yeah, well," I reply, "I brought you some soup." I walk over and hand it to him.

He smirks. "It's cold," he comments.

"Is it really?" I do a pretty good job of sounding surprised. "I don't know how that happened…" I take a few of the Edible Dark Marks from my pocket and toss them to him. "Eat some of those, then."

He doesn't smile at the treats I got from Fred. "Is this your idea of a joke, Rodgers?" he says coldly.

"'Course not," I reply. "It's not grand enough to be my type of joke."

"Where did you get these?"

"Diagon Alley," I say vaguely.

He huffs. "What store in Diagon Alley?" he asks.

"Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, the greatest shop in Diagon Alley – I added the last part, of course." He doesn't reply. "Well…goodnight then." I go up to the tiny room he stuck me in and close the door, pretty proud of myself. I think he rather hated those Edible Dark Marks.

* * *

**All right, I need to ask you all something. I have Chapter 35 written, but the ending is a cliffhanger (there's no other way to do it). I can upload it tomorrow if you want me to, or I can just wait until June 9, which will be the next time I can update. It's up to you as the reader. Leave a review to let me know what you'd rather me do!**

**On a lighter note, what about that Edible Death Mark?**

**Oh, and before anyone asks, Charlotte HAS told the Weasleys about being Bellatrix's daughter (but no one knows her duty of course). I'll explain her telling them later.**

**Review!**


	35. Chapter 35

**I listened to all of the reviews and decided to update today:)**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I try to keep the original characters in character the best I can:)**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I actually got the Edible Dark Marks off the Harry Potter Wiki page for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, so people could actually get them in the books lol.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I updated today! It's definitely just a matter of time before the two of them lose all patience with each other:)**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! People really seemed to enjoy the Edible Dark Mark lol.**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, it's nearly a week and half. Not too long when you really think about it...**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I would love to try one too! Just for the thought of trying it hahaha**

**barbiedolls: Thanks for the follows!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 35**

I am awoken the next morning by a loud bang on the bedroom door. I jump up as fast as I possibly can and dart to the door, throwing it open. A triumphant Severus Snape smirks at me. "Good morning, Miss Rodgers," he says cruelly.

I rub my eyes as they strain to stay open. "'S the time?" I grumble.

He looks at his watch. "Seven," he answers.

My hands drop to my side. "_Seven?"_ I repeat. "In the _morning?"_

"Well, yes, Rodgers," he says. "That is why I am waking you up. Breakfast should be ready by eight."

"Professor, you don't have to make me breakfast," I say sheepishly.

"You misunderstand me," he says with a nasty happiness. "I eat at eight. Therefore you should be done cooking it by then."

It takes a second for me to realize what's going on, and by the time I do, Snape is already descending the stairs. I look around and grab my shoe. I lean out of the doorway and chuck it at him, successfully whacking him in the back of the head. There is a brief moment of pride that swells in me, but that moment quickly flies away when Snape meets my eyes. Fury flares through them. His fury fades and is replaced by victory. He spins on his heel and disappears down the stairs.

Again, I have made a grave mistake. I rush to the restroom and hurriedly get ready.

Half an hour later, I am running down the stairs and into the kitchen. I realize that the terms of me staying here are completely unfair. If the Dark Lord wants me here (which Snape should believe), then I should not have to do anything to remain here. But I don't want to push anything after the Edible Dark Marks that Snape did not find near as entertaining as I did.

I lean my head out of the kitchen. Snape sits in that armchair of his, reading. "Am I permitted to touch things in here?" I ask him bluntly.

"Obviously," he answers.

I go back to the kitchen and look around. I don't know where anything is in here. I walk to the window and look out. Across the street I can see another woman in her kitchen. She must be a Muggle; she's cooking without a wand or any visible magic. I open the window. She walks out of the room. I turn my head to make sure Snape isn't looking. Then I whip out my wand and summon the food I have just seen the woman cooking. It flies across the street and into the kitchen. "Breakfast is ready!" I yell to Snape.

He walks in. "From which house did you steal that?"

"The one straight across the street," I answer truthfully. It's only a few pieces of toast and some marmalade, but it's better than nothing, which is what it would have been with such little time given. I start to leave the room.

"Are you not going to eat? The Dark Lord wants you healthy, yes?" he says.

"I'm good," I answer. "I ate some of the Edible Dark Marks while I was cooking." Every word I just said is a lie. I didn't eat, and I certainly didn't cook, but the scowling Snape doesn't stop me from leaving the room. My shoe is lying on the sofa. I snatch it up and go back to my tiny room.

Later, when I go back down to the sitting room, Snape has finished breakfast and is once again reading in the armchair. I plop down in the sofa, disregarding Snape's warning from yesterday. "The Dark Lord wants you to teach me how to duel," I say. "And it would be best if I learned Occlumency – but I'm having this odd sense of déjà vu which makes me believe that we've already had this conversation."

"And as before, I will teach you at the start of term," Snape replies.

"Why wait when you can teach me now? The more time I have to work on it, the better I will become," I say.

Snape lowers his paper and looks at me for a moment. He stays motionless like this for almost ten minutes. Finally, he says, "We will begin lessons this afternoon."

"Why not now?" I ask him. I've already informed Fred that I won't be able to go to the shop today.

He stands. "I have somewhere I must be." He seems to realize something before Disapparating. "It is not in your best interest to go into any room that I have already informed is off-limits to you." Then he leaves.

I look around. What am I going to do now? Then it comes to me. I know exactly what I'm going to do. I dash up the stairs. I take out my wand and point it at the mattress in the better room, the one I'm forbidden to enter. I direct the mattress to my temporary room and place it on the floor. Using my wand, I lift the hard mattress up and put it in the hallway. I lift the nice mattress and place it on the bed frame and reduce its size so it fits. Then I pick up the bad mattress and put it on the frame in the good room and make it larger so it will fit onto the frame. I smile at my handiwork.

I Disapparate from Snape's house.

I open my eyes. I am standing in the front of the Burrow. I see Mrs. Weasley's red hair in the living room window. There is a brown-haired woman sitting with her. I briskly make my way to the front door. Maybe I should have owled or something. If she already has company, maybe I should leave. But I don't want to. I want to talk with her.

I'm still debating whether or not I should visit when I reach the door. I knock. I guess I _will_ be visiting. Mrs. Weasley opens the door. "Charlotte!" she says, confused. "What are you doing here?"

This is probably a bad idea too. "I wanted to talk to you…" I say. "I can come back if –"

"No, no, dear! Come in! Come in!" she says. Mrs. Weasley gives me a hug.

The brown-haired woman turns. "Charlotte," her voice has virtually no emotion in it.

It takes me a moment to register who it is. "Tonks!" I say. I give her a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Just talking with Molly," she answers.

"Why don't we sit down?" Mrs. Weasley suggests. I take a seat next to Tonks on the sofa, and Mrs. Weasley takes a seat on the armchair next to us. We're silent. I have a feeling that Mrs. Weasley is waiting for me to say something, but I'm too distracted by Tonks's depressed look.

I glance between her and Mrs. Weasley. Finally, I say quietly to Tonks, "Are you okay?"

It takes her a second to realize that I'm speaking to her, and she quickly looks over and says in an obviously fake happy voice, "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I want to press the issue, but she stands and says, "I have to go. I'm supposed to meet S –"

"Okay!" Mrs. Weasley interrupts her. Tonks seems to realize her mistake and quickly hushes. "Be careful."

Tonks hugs Mrs. Weasley then me. "See ya later!" And she's gone.

I look back at Mrs. Weasley. She's watching me, waiting for me to begin speaking, which is the whole reason I came here. Part of me wishes that Tonks was here still. She knows the full truth about me. The whole Weasley family, besides Percy, knows that I am Bellatrix's daughter. I told them all right after I told Fred, on the third day of the summer holidays. I clear my throat. "I want to thank you for how you've accepted me, despite knowing about my parents," I start.

"Oh, Charlotte," she replies, "your parents have nothing to do with who you are!"

That is exactly what Fred had told me, except she left out the part about how Percy turned out completely different than his parents. "I'm afraid," I say, "in my particular case, that isn't necessarily true."

"What do you mean, dear?"

I look around to make sure no one else can hear. "I'm more than just Bellatrix's daughter," I answer. I've told them about my fake death and all of those details. "I've been lying…to everyone, Mrs. Weasley." I swallow. "You will be the first to know besides Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sirius, and Tonks. And I am asking – no, begging – that you not tell anyone yet. I need to figure the right way to do it."

"Dumbledore knows?" she replies.

I nod. "He knows." I shift on the sofa. "My death was faked for a reason. Uncle Alphard was trying to protect me."

"Protect you from what?"

"Not 'what' but 'whom.' Voldemort to be exact," I answer. "He chose me, both as Aurelia Lestrange and Charlotte Rodgers, to…" I don't know if I can go on.

Mrs. Weasley smiles encouragingly at me, but her voice is serious when she asks, "What did he choose you for?"

"To bear his child…" She gasps, much like McGonagall had done when I informed her. "I don't want to, of course. But I don't have a choice…that's why he wants me protected." Tears blur my vision. I croak, "Please don't hate me."

Mrs. Weasley moves to sit beside me. "I will never hate you, Charlotte," she says.

I choke back my tears. "I…I don't know how to tell…I don't know how to tell Fred…"

"Just be honest with him," Mrs. Weasley replies. She is bothered by this news and is doing her best to conceal her discomfort. "But you need to tell him." I nod, unable to speak. Mrs. Weasley wraps her arms around me. After a few minutes, she asks, "Why are you telling me this?"

I look up. I hadn't expected her to ask. "I guess…for a few reasons, really…" I answer. "You're Fred's mum, and I look up to you. I figured…you deserve to know…and you could help me find a way to tell Fred so that he'll understand. And, I know you're a part of the Order of the Phoenix, you and Mr. Weasley both. So, I just thought…maybe you know if Harry will be able to kill Voldemort…" I gulp. "And, well, you've had seven children…and I knew you would be honest…is it as awful as Bellatrix makes it seem?"

Mrs. Weasley puts her hand on my shoulder. "I believe You-Know-Who will be killed before you have to do that…" she is unable to verbally speak what I have to do for Voldemort. She's definitely not the first to be unable to speak it aloud. For a few years I was the same way. "Children are a blessing," is all she has to say about my other question.

I smile weakly at her. "Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. I'll find a way to tell Fred."

I spend the next three hours with Mrs. Weasley, helping her in any way that I can. Ginny and Hermione show up while I'm there, but I don't really have much time to spend with them before I have to go back to Spinner's End. I say goodbye to all of them, and Apparate back to Snape's home.

As I reach for the doorknob, something clicks in my mind. Snape is in the Order of the Phoenix. When he told me about Sirius's death, Snape said that Sirius was better off than being "locked up in Azkaban or Grimmauld Place." Then Tonks had almost said the name of whom she was meeting. She had gotten the "S" out before Mrs. Weasley had cut her off. It's got to be Snape. How had I not seen this earlier? I'm a complete idiot. Why has it taken me so long?

I open the door. Snape is sitting in his armchair, but he's not reading. "I was wondering when you were going to show up for your lessons," he says. "Where were you?"

"The Burrow, with my cousin and the Weasleys," I answer. "Where were you?"

"Official business, need to know only," he replies. Then he stands to his feet and opens the door that leads to the basement. "You are only allowed down here under my permission." I don't know why he's reminding me, but I don't comment.

When we reach the bottom of the stairs, it is obvious to see that he only really uses this room for potion-making. There is a large cauldron on a steel table in the middle of the stone room. Shelves line the walls, and, just like his office at Hogwarts, potions and potion ingredients fill the shelves. There is a single chair down here, suggesting that he sometimes stays down here while the potions brew. With a wave of his wand, all of this disappears, and the room becomes empty.

Now more than ever, I am reminded of the caves I used to stay in. The stone room is lit with torches. It's almost the size of Snape's office at Hogwarts, but it seems bigger because there is nothing in here. "I think we should start with your dueling skills," Snape says. "They were…lacking the last time I saw you duel."

"Really?" I reply. "I believe I held my own fairly nicely against you, professor." How does he not remember me slamming him into the tree?

"Beginner's luck," he replies.

"I've been dueling for years!" I argue. "I took Lucius Malfoy down!"

"And look where he is! He is not real competition!" Snape replies. "If I remember correctly, Bellatrix and I both destroyed you."

"Bellatrix may have destroyed me, but you certainly did not," I say.

Snape smirks. "I took your wand by force, Rodgers. That is considered a loss." He points his wand at me. "Ready your wand."

"Why don't we work on Occlumency first?" I ask him.

"At this point, it is more beneficial for you to learn to duel," he states.

"I think, at this point, it would be more beneficial for me to learn Occlumency. If the Dark Lord finds out what I learned…" I drift, purposefully trying to spark an interest in Snape. He doesn't look the least bit curious as to what I am talking about. "I mean, I don't think you'd want Voldemort –"

"Don't say his name," Snape cuts me off.

"I've told you: If I am to have his child, I will call him whatever I want to call him," I say. "You've never stopped me before."

"I assumed that you would learn better after meeting him," Snape growls. "But I guess you are either too stupid or too arrogant to realize how dangerous it is to speak his name."

"The fear of the name only increases the fear of the thing itself," I say informatively.

"I see you've been around Miss Granger lately," Snape sneers.

"Yep, she was at the Burrow," I say. "Speaking of which, I learned some pretty interesting things there, things that I should hide using Occlumency, professor. It is not advisable for Vol –" he casts me a very horrifying glare, "the Dark Lord to learn that you are a part of the Order of the Phoenix."

His face drops. "What?" he asks me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I say to him. "You should have told me!"

The next thing I know, I am hanging by my ankles. My wand slips from my grasp. The blood rushes to my head. "What makes you think…?" Snape asks.

"Let me down!" I shout, "And I'll tell you!"

Snape snarls at me, "I'm not part of the Order. I'm in the Inner Circle of the Death Eaters, and you would be wise to learn that."

"Let me down!" I shout.

"Not just yet," he says calmly. He points his wand at me. "_Legilimens!"_

* * *

**So it's probably not the cliffhanger you thought it'd be...but still.**

**I've added it all up, and the holidays are gonna last until Chapter 43. They've got loads of time to pester each other. This chapter wasn't really full of their bickering, but some of the following ones will be :)**

**Do you think it was wise to tell Mrs. Weasley what she has to do? How do you think she's going to tell Fred? Do you think he'll be okay with it?**

**What do you think Snape is going to see when he reads her mind?**

**Review!**

**The next update will be June 9!**


	36. Chapter 36

**I'm back guys! And like I said, I'm updating June 9! It feels like it's been FOREVER! Thanks for waiting so patiently!**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! It's fine if you can't review until then. I understand:)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry you saw it coming, I guess it wasn't really all that subtle. I can't answer the question about Snape. We'll have to wait and see! Charlotte and Harry are a lot alike, even if they don't really notice it**

**Harkness: Thanks for reviewing! I've brought you more, as asked!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I agree. Mrs. Weasley was one of the nicest characters**

**CTGirl14: Thanks for reviewing! June 9 is here! Bickering is to come when you read the chapter!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say how Fred will react. But you're right, he is much different than Draco. You'll just have to wait:)**

**Weepingangels91011: Thanks for following, favoriting, and reviewing! What gave away that she was Bellatrix's daughter? A lot of what you think will happen has actually crossed my mind lol. I can't say how everything plays out, because I don't want to spoil the surprise. But I think more of her character will be seen when Snape looks into her memories, especially when he sees her the way she was before Hogwarts.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 36**

_I'm eleven years old, running for my life down a poorly lit alley. With my wand pointed behind me, I blindly blast at a pursuer. The man, a wizard with a scruffy, black beard and long black hair, follows me, shouting off hexes and curses that I can't understand. I am hit with the Impediment Jinx and am thrown through the air, stopping only when I smash into a large dumpster. The man stands over me._

_ He points his wand at me, smirking at his victory. Aiming my wand at him, I shriek, "_Confringo!" _The man bursts into flames and screams in agony. His wand drops in front of me. I grab it and run. I glance over my shoulder. The Death Eater falls to the ground, pleading for someone to kill him. _

"NOOO!" I shout. I've shoved Snape out of my memories. I'm still hanging upside. My head throbs. My body shakes violently. Suddenly, I collapse to the floor. I rollover and painfully push myself to my feet. Snape had no right to see that. It was the first time I had ever used magic to kill someone…

"Did you know him?" the professor asks me.

I swallow. "No," I answer truthfully. I had never even heard his name before I ended his life.

"Again," Snape says. "One…two…three…_Legilimens!"_

I'm taken back into my memories again. _Mrs. Stoico hands me the letter from Uncle Alphard on my tenth birthday. I read it then crumble it and throw it down. I look in the mirror. My face changes, as does my hair and eyes. I'm looking into the face one of the maids. One of them walks into the room. I hit her over the back of the head and take her uniform. I throw my few belongings into a bag and run from the orphanage._

_ Back to my normal self again, I stand in Uncle Alphard's empty house. There is a letter and a bag on the table. I go to it. I read the letter, grab the bag, and ransack the house. I leave with the pocket watch. _

_I go back to the orphanage. The orphans are gathered around a small room. I listen under the window outside when I hear a voice say, "Mrs. Stoico's death –"_

"NOOO!" I bellow again. I've doubled, now on my knees on the stone floor.

"You're a Metamorphmagus," he states. I meet his eyes. "Who knows about that?"

"Only Tonks," I answer. "Sirius did…"

"The Dark Lord does not know?" he asks. I shake my head. "Clear your mind, Rodgers. We go again. One…two…"

"Wait!" I shout.

He doesn't. "Three…_Legilimens!"_

_ I enter an empty cave. My wand lights up as I explore the area. I'm fourteen with bright red hair and brown eyes and freckles all over my face, one of my disguises. A dog jumps at me, knocking me to the ground. It's big and black. Before I can aim my wand to kill it, it takes off. I watch it disappear. I continue exploring the cave. There is a place where a fire had once been, embers still glowing. There is also some uneaten food in a pouch. I go to it and start eating._

"Get out!" I scream, throwing Snape out of my memories once again.

"Did the dog return?" he asks me slowly.

I take a deep breath. "No, not while I was there. Why?"

"Where were you? What year was that?" he replies.

"In a cave not far from Hogsmeade. It was '94, I believe. Why does that matter?"

Snape grimaces. "That was no ordinary dog." I watch at him expectantly. "Did you not know that Sirius Black was an Animagus?" I shake my head. "That was him. I'd recognize him anywhere."

I don't know what to think about this, so I don't say anything at all. I only wish I had known Sirius in 1994. Maybe he could have helped me run from the Death Eaters. Maybe he could have saved me from Lucius Malfoy.

"Again," Snape commands.

"Wait!" I shout.

"One…"

"Please!"

"Two…three…_Legilimens!" _

_ "Protego!" _

Snape's attempt to see into my memories is rebounded. Instead, I see into his. He is hanging upside down by the beech tree. I immediately know what this is. This is the scene that Harry had described to Sirius and Lupin. I'm shoved out of the thoughts a second later.

He doesn't give me a moment before he shouts, "_Legilimens!" _

_I'm sitting on the stairs of Grimmauld Place, listening as Harry speaks to Sirius and Lupin about the same scenario I had just seen in Snape's mind. _

I shove Snape out of my memories without shouting this time. I'm not on the floor either.

"You're not clearing your mind," Snape comments. I can't tell if he's angry or not. "You must clear your mind, or the Dark Lord will be able to penetrate your very thoughts."

"How do you clear your mind?" I cry out. "You're not helping me!"

"Empty your mind of all thought and emotion," Snape answers. "It's not that difficult." He waits a second. "Again." He doesn't count down. "_Legilimens!"_

_ I sit with Fred on his bed inside his room above Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. "I have to go," I say to him. "They're going to stop letting me leave…"_

"_You can stay here," he says. "Don't go back to them. I don't trust them. Who knows what they might do…"_

"_I can't stay here," I argue sadly. "That'll be too suspicious."_

_ "Suspicious? Who is there to be suspicious? George doesn't care!" Fred counters. "Who cares if the Malfoys are upset? I'm sure your parents won't mind you getting away from them!"_

_ I bite my lip. "I'm not who you think I am…"_

"OUT!" I shriek. Once again, I'm on my hands in knees in front of Snape. I can't let him see that. My relationship with Fred is private. Snape might know much of the relationship between me and Draco, but I don't want him to know about Fred. He has no right.

"Gain control of yourself!" Snape commands.

"I'm trying!" I scream back.

"Try harder!" Snape shouts. "Again!" He takes a second. "_Legilimens!"_

"_Bellatrix?" Fred asks. "The daughter of Bellatrix?" He's paler than usual._

"_I understand if you never want to speak with me again," I whisper as I make to stand up._

_He reaches up and grabs my arm, pulling me back onto the bed. "Of course I still want to be with you," he tells me. He puts his hand on my cheek. "I don't care if she's your mother. You're still Charlotte Rodgers to me." He kisses my forehead. "I will still love you." I look up suddenly. _It had been the first time he'd ever said it.

"_I love you, too," I say slowly._

_He moves quickly to place his lips on mine. We kiss passionately for a minute before he flattens me onto the bed._

"NOOOO!" I screech. "That's private!"

Snape looks gravely serious. "You must become better at clearing your mind," he says softly. "Nothing is private to the Dark Lord. If he learns that Fred Weasley –"

"Nothing happened!" I argue.

Snape doesn't believe me; it's written on his face. But it's the truth. The same jarring thought of Voldemort that had forced me to stop Draco so long ago had also forced me to stop Fred. Looking back, I'm glad it stopped me with Draco, but I wish I wouldn't have had to stop Fred. It was more difficult to say no to Fred than it had been with Draco. "You must learn," Snape says. "Again." I meet his eye. "_Legilimens!"_

_I'm entering the Room of Requirement for the first time. Draco and I go to the Hog's Head. _

_We're headed back through the tunnel. Draco kisses me._

_Draco and I are in the abandoned classroom on a date. He gives me the pendant. We start kissing. Draco lifts me and puts me on the table. Snape walks in on us._

_I'm dueling Lucius in Malfoy Manor. I throw him onto his back, expel his wand, and Stun him._

_I'm dueling Bellatrix. She uses the Cruciatus Curse on me. I do the same to her._

_Snape and I duel in the Forbidden Forest._

_I duel Draco in the Slytherin common room._

_The ice of the Black Lake cracks, and I fall in, crying aloud for help and not caring that I'm losing what little air I have. Panic surges in my eyes._

I can't throw Snape out of my memories. Each time I try, a new memory comes to me, and I find myself trying to throw him from that one, only to send him to another.

_I fall over myself to get away from Voldemort when I see him for the first time._

_I enter the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, where Voldemort is. _I have to get Snape out of this particular memory. If he finds out that I asked to be sent to him, he'll be furious. But my distress makes it harder for me to get him out. _"I need practice with dueling, my Lord," I say to Voldemort. "I wish to be trained. I wish to be a great a soldier, like my mother and father." I swallow. "I wish to serve you to the best of my ability."_

"_Bellatrix will gladly train you," Voldemort says._

"_I don't want to take her away from her responsibilities to you, my Lord," I reply._

"_Then how will you learn?" he asks. "Bellatrix is my greatest lieutenant. She would be the best for you."_

"_Send me to spend the holidays with Professor Snape," I say. "He can teach me."_

I finally force Snape out, but it's too late. His face is contorted with fury. "YOU –"he closes his eyes then continues in a very soft but dangerous voice, "You appealed to the Dark Lord to come here."

"Yes," I don't even attempt to spin the story to deceive him.

"Why?" He points his wand at me as if telling me that lying will do no good at this point.

"I couldn't stay in the same place as Draco, Bellatrix, and Vol – the Dark Lord," I answer. "You are the only other Death Eater that I know. Yours was the only name that came to mind."He doesn't seem completely satisfied, but he doesn't seem as angry as before either. "I couldn't stay there with them…especially Draco."

He's a very hard person to read. "We are finished with Occlumency for today," he says. "We will resume tomorrow."

I sigh with relief. "Good. Dueling then?"

"Dueling," he answers. He walks toward me. "When you are dueling, what gives away your next attack?"

"I…I don't know…"

"Speaking the spell aloud alerts your enemy of your intentions," Snape replies. "You must learn to cast them silently."

I nod.

He waves his wand, and a dummy appears on the other side of the room. With another flick of his wand, the dummy is yanked up and his hanging by its ankles. "That certain spell is designed to be cast nonverbally," he says. "If you cannot do that one, then there is no hope for you."

Professor Snape sure knows how to make someone nervous. "What's the incantation?" I ask.

He flicks his wand again, and the dummy falls. "_Levicorpus_," he says.

I run the name through my mind, but nothing strikes me as familiar. "I've never heard of it."

"That is because I created it," Snape replies. "Point your wand at the dummy and try it."

"You _created_ a spell? How –"

"Try it," he says again.

I point my wand at the dummy and think, quite loudly, "_LEVICORPUS!" _The dummy is yanked into the air. I smile.

"Now drop it," Snape commands.

I look over at him. "How?" I ask.

He smirks. "Never try a spell to which you do not know the counter curse."

"I assumed you would tell me!" I say. This is ridiculous. If he didn't want me to do the spell, he should have simply said so.

"Never assume anything," his voice gives a clear warning. "The incantation is _Liberacorpus_. Next time, make sure you know the counter curse."

"Yes, professor," I say quietly. I point my wand at the upside down dummy and think, _"__Liberacorpus_." It falls to the floor.

My smile fades when I meet Snape's eyes. "Do not be overcome with joy," he says coolly. "As I said before, those spells are designed to be nonverbal." I watch him closely. "You seem to be rather proficient with the Shield Charm. Why don't you give that one a try?" I do try. And I fail. I chant silently to myself, "_Protego!"_ but nothing happens. I don't know how long Snape lets me do this. It could have easily been an hour (though I doubt it) before Snape tells me to stop. "That is obviously not working."

"Obviously," I sneer.

He walks to where the dummy lies and points his wand at me. "If you do not block my attack, I will take no credit for the consequences," he says.

"What?" I ask frantically.

"Cast a shield nonverbally to stop my attack, Rodgers," he states. "One…," Does he really expect me to do this? "Two…," I won't be able to, I just know it, "Three…," I mentally shout for the shield charm to protect me, "_Locomotor Mortis!"_ My shield doesn't appear, and my legs are frozen together. I collapse to the floor. Snape smirks at me before performing the counter curse and setting me free. "You did not stop me."

"I tried!" I argue.

"You failed," he replies. His wand is now in the air, pointing straight at me again. "If you don't stop me this time, you may lose some fingers."

I look down at my hands. I like my fingers… So I raise my wand to defend myself. I don't doubt for a moment that Snape is telling the truth. He wouldn't mind risking my fingers. In his mind, I will have several more.

"Ready?" he asks me cruelly. I nod. "One…two…three…" Before he even speaks the incantation for the jinx that can destroy my fingers, I throw up the shield. The jinx hits the shield, but does not harm me. I drop my protection and smile. Snape looks proud. "And just like that, you've performed a nonverbal spell." I cast the spell again, release it, and repeat this a few times. "Enough of that now."

I stop playing around with the shield. "Sorry…" I mumble.

He walks back toward me and stands beside me. He suspends the dummy in the air. "No doubt you will run into a time where the situation is kill or be killed," he begins, "and after the Blasting Curse you used on that Death Eater in the alley, I assume that's not your favorite way to kill a man."

"I thought you said not to assume things, professor," I answer with as little bitterness in my voice as I can mange.

"I'll take that as a yes," he replies. "I guess it's also safe to assume that you would prefer another way besides the illegal _Avada Kedavra?"_

I nod but say, "I don't want to think about having to kill another person. I've done that enough in my life, sir."

"Being around the Dark Lord will force you to do things that you do not want to do –"

"Don't remind me," I interrupt.

He grimaces. "_Sectumsempra!" _I gape as the dummy is sliced apart as if an invisible sword has just lost its temper.

I watch as the dummy falls back to the floor. "That's…not a curse that's any better…"

"At least the victim will not burn," he comments.

"Touché, sir," I say.

"Try it," he commands, lifting the dummy back into the air.

"Is there a counter curse?" I ask him.

"_Vulnera Sanentur_, if used quickly enough," he replies. I'm guessing that if the spell isn't used soon enough, the victim will die, but I don't want to make a fool of myself by asking this, so I don't. "Go."

"_Sectumsempra!"_ The dummy is once again slashed apart. I don't intend to use this spell on any living creature, but I find it futile to tell Snape this. If he's teaching me to kill someone or something, he must expect awful things to come about. And I really don't want to know what he thinks these might be.

He's silent.

Finally, I ask quietly, "Can we be done for today?" I don't know how much more of this I can take. It all reaffirms the inevitable.

Snape gives me a furtive glance. "Occlumency, then we may quit," he answers.

"Why?" I moan, completely and thoroughly exasperated.

"You've had a bit to clear your mind," he says. "You've learned new things and no doubt feel different than when we worked on it earlier. You must learn to use Occlumency no matter what your emotions."

I nod.

"One…two…three…_Legilimens!" _

_I am weaving in and out of the tourists in Durham Cathedral. Many of them grumble among themselves as I push past them. I glance behind me. Lucius Malfoy follows me closely. I can't throw a spell at him to get away without hurting the innocent Muggles. This was the wrong place to go. Ignoring the _Personnel Only _signs, I dash up the stairs. Malfoy continues chasing me._

_I start climbing up the ladder that leads to the Bell Tower. I point my wand at Malfoy and cast a spell. He dodges it, giving me enough time to enter the tower. I climb onto the ledge and look down. Malfoy bursts into the tower. "Don't come any closer!" I shout at him. My wand shakes in my hand._

"_Come with me," he says calmly._

"_Never!" I scream. "_Avada Kedavra!" _But with my shaking hand, the spell hits the bell. It rings ominously, pounding back and forth, matching the frantic beat of my heart. I look from it to Malfoy. I take a step backward off the top of the cathedral._

"Protego!" I shriek. It's the only thing I know that works immediately in forcing Snape from my mind. But I enter his without being able to stop myself.

_Bellatrix and Narcissa stand in the sitting room of Spinner's End. Narcissa is crying, pleading with Snape. "Severus, my son…my only son…"_

"_Draco should be proud," Bellatrix says. "The Dark Lord is granting him a great honor. And I will say this for Draco: He isn't shrinking away from his duty, he seems glad of a chance to prove himself, excited at the prospect –"_

"_That is because he's sixteen and has no idea what lies in store! Why, Severus? Why my son? It is too dangerous! This is vengeance for Lucius's mistake, I know it!"_

Snape doesn't seem to be trying to stop me. He could have pushed me out of his memories by now, but he has not.

_Narcissa staggers towards Snape and seizes his robes. "You could do it!" she cries._

I feel as though I am thrust farther into his memories, and I resume moments later. But I've missed something, I know it.

"_It might be possible…for me to help Draco," Snape says._

"_Severus – oh, Severus – you would help him? Would you look after him, see he comes to no harm?" she asks._

"_I can try," he replies._

_She falls at his feet, takes his hand in both of hers, and kisses the back of it. "If you are to protect him…Severus, will you swear it? Will you make the Unbreakable Vow?"_

_Bellatrix laughs, the same triumphant laugh I've heard from her many times before. "Aren't you listening, Narcissa? Oh, he'll _try_, I'm sure… The usual empty words, the usual slithering out of action…oh, on the Dark Lord's orders, of course!"_

_He's quiet for a short moment. "Certainly, Narcissa, I shall make the Unbreakable Vow," he says. "Perhaps you sister will consent to be our Bonder?"_ _Snape kneels to the floor opposite of Narcissa. They grasp right arms._

I am thrown against the stone wall, but I hardly even notice. Two questions flood my thoughts: What is Draco being forced to do, and why had Snape allowed me see that?

* * *

**What did you think? ****Why would Snape show her his memory like that? Do you think he'll tell her?**

**Do you think he'll just let it go that she asked to stay with him?**

**Again, thanks for waiting so patiently for the chapter!**

**Review!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Sorry this update is later than usual. I stayed up far too late last night and slept later than I thought I would. **

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Snape always as his reasons for doing things lol. You'll figure out eventually. It comes up:) I can't tell you his reasons yet, though... I think a lot about her past because it causes her to be the way she is, even if I haven't exposed all of it yet. I'll try to update every day. If I can't I'll make sure to let everyone know. I'll leave a note down at the bottom of the chapter. Thanks for reminding me!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! It was hard for me to wait, too! Everything will be explained later!**

**Weepingangels91011: Thanks for reviewing! I guess I can see how I left more hints at it than I thought. But that's fine. I'm glad someone picked up on it. I think most of the readers might have thought she was Bellatrix's daughter but didn't really want her to be because of Draco. Snape's reasons will be revealed soon enough:) I think he is a bit sympathetic toward her because of her situation**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoy my writing! That means a lot to me. She's not overpowering him, not even Voldemort can do that when it comes to Occlumency.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! It's so mysterious! Lol**

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay that you don't review every chapter. I like it when people do that, but it's not like I demand it haha. All will be revealed in the near-ish future! I can't say why he did or didn't let Charlotte see what happened.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! I'm still enjoying writing it! **

**Archerygirl99: Thanks for the favorites and the follows!**

* * *

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (26) I wanted to give Charlotte and Bellatrix an odd relationship lol. (27) I like her getting revenge sometimes lol. I wanted to make sure that you got my response (28) Hahaha, wait until you see how they change toward each other (29) There wasn't much I could do with the O.W.L.s, which is why the chapter was kinda "meh" (30) When it comes to protecting those she cares about, Charlotte will have the courage to do virtually anything. It'd be weird for her to take Draco back, considering they're cousins (31) They'll have lots of duels, don't worry about that. (32) He might bring it up, but he might try to avoid the fact that she knows at all. He'll probably turn cold toward her. (33) I was hoping to catch people off guard about that lol (34) I did research, and the twins actually sold Edible Dark Marks at their shop lol. (35) That's why I had her tell Mrs. Weasley. Charlotte needs someone to talk to. (36) I think he wanted to show her that things are happening are Hogwarts the next year. It's not like Snape to let something like that go. Let me know if you got this:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 37**

I remain on the cold stone floor. Snape is still across the room. Draco is in danger. Voldemort is making him do something, but what? Snape has taken the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to protect him, but why? What is so important that Snape would risk his life for Draco? Why does it bother me so much that he would so such a thing? I mean, I'm happy that he is going to help Draco, because I still care about the boy, but I don't understand why that thought feels me with dread. Snape shouldn't have to risk himself for Draco. Because honestly, Draco is not worth it. Since we ended things, I've realized just how awful a person he truly is.

Snape walks toward me, but he doesn't speak. He crouches down in front of me. "Why…why did you…why did you let me see that?" I whisper.

He frowns. "I didn't 'let' you see anything," he replies, but his eyes tell me that he's lying. "I lost control for a moment. Why? What did you see?" Though he's lying, and I know it, he sounds earnest. He's probably just covering up the fact that he _did_ let me see. His face tells me not to answer his question.

"Nothing…never mind…" I say.

The Potions Master stands and offers me his help. I accept it and am reminded of the way he had taken Narcissa's hand for the Vow. Snape pulls me to my feet. "I believe your lessons are over for the day," he states. With a wave of his wand, he replaces all of potion things to the room. I follow him out of the basement.

I stand in the sitting room while he goes to the armchair. Sighing, I go towards the kitchen. "What are you doing?" he asks me.

"I just assumed…you know…dinner," I say.

He smirks. "It's good to know that you plan to stick to our agreement," he replies, "but it is not necessary."

I freeze and backtrack into the sitting room. "Why?" I ask him. He waves his wand and a platter of sandwiches, as well as two glasses of what looks to be butterbeer, appears on the old, rickety table. "_What?_ You know where to summon food from, and you were going to have me cook three meals a day throughout the entire school holidays?"

He smirks again. "Yes," he answers. "You would still be cooking had it not been for the Occlumency lessons. Learning how to hide your thoughts can leave a person's mind weary," I can't argue with that; I do feel light-headed, "and I am afraid that you would burn my house down."

I smile, not caring if this comment slightly offends me. All I know is that I do not have cook as long as the Occlumency lessons are going on. Now I want to know where he got it, so when the lessons are over, I can just summon the food instead of trying to actually cook it. I sit down on the sofa, grab a sandwich and a glass of butterbeer, and chow down. This is definitely better than what I would have made. It would have probably just been soup, and bad soup at that.

When I finish eating a few minutes later, I stand to go to bed. Snape calls after me when I reach the stairs, "We will continue your lessons first thing tomorrow."

I inwardly groan. Maybe coming here was not the best idea I've ever had. I have no way of letting Fred know that I will not make it to the shop tomorrow. I flop onto my softer bed (I changed the mattresses for a reason) and attempt to sleep.

* * *

A week later, I still don't know from where Snape summons the food, I just know that he summons it for every meal. I am able to contact Fred so he won't worry about me. Had I remained silent, I wouldn't put it past him to orchestrate a full-on assault of Malfoy Manor to question where I have been and save me from the place. He replies back to tell me that he's still worried and that he wants a letter as frequently as possible. He also says that if I get a chance, I have to go with him to the Burrow because his brother Bill is there with his fiancé, and I have to meet them.

Of course, I haven't told Snape this. I'm actually afraid he will work me harder in the Occlumency lessons just to make sure I don't go. He believes it is a bad idea for me to be mixed up with the Weasleys. He says I'm putting them in danger. I'm beginning to think he might be right.

But today, probably because I haven't yet told him of my conversations with Fred, Snape has given me the day off from lessons, which is odd because he usually pushes me to the brink of insanity during his lessons. I'm meeting Tonks, who is going to take me to meet her parents (I have yet to do so, despite the fact that they are my aunt and uncle). The opportunity has never presented itself until today.

So after breakfast, I Apparate to the Leaky Cauldron where I'm meeting Tonks. I'm not expecting to see the bubblegum hair. Something's wrong, and I know that with her sorrow her hair will be brown. I think I might bring it up today.

Tonks is already waiting for me when I look around. She comes toward me. "Wotcher, Charlotte," she says. It's obvious that she is still upset. Today is the day to ask.

"You haven't been waiting long, have you?" I ask her.

"Not at all, just got here actually, moments before you showed up," she says, and though she's trying hard, the sadness has booted out her typically cheery voice. "Do you mind if we stop at Gringotts? My mum asked if I could get some Galleons out for her."

I've never been in the Wizarding Bank before. "Let's go." I follow the brown-haired Tonks to the bank. We walk through Diagon Alley in silence. I don't know why she's not talking, but I know that I'm not talking because I'm formulating a way that I can bring up whatever it is that is ruining her usually chipper mood.

Still trying to come up with something when we walk inside the bank, I miss that feeling I was expecting when I first step into the building. I always imagined it would be a magical (for lack of a better word) moment. And I've missed it. I push that aside and continue trying to think of something. I've had absolutely no good ideas, whatsoever.

Tonks speaks to a goblin while I fruitlessly continue to think of a plan. I lose all chance of coming up with an idea when we load into a cart that sits on tracks leading into the earth. I look over at Tonks. She does not look the least bit worried about this, which makes me believe this is safe. Taking a deep breath, I prepare for whatever might happen. The cart takes off in an alarming speed, twisting through a maze of passageways. I don't know how far below the bank we really are, but it's quite chilly down here. There are more vaults down here than I can count, and we pass them too quickly for me to even attempt it. The cart jerks to a sudden stop.

We climb out and follow the goblin to one of the vaults. Tonks hands him a key. He puts it in the lock and places his hand against the door. It opens. I've never seen so much gold in all of my life. There are stacks upon stacks of it. Apparently being disowned from the Black family has not ruined their fortune at all. I would be tempted to steal it if it didn't belong to people I care about. Tonks fills a bag with the Galleons, and we leave the vault and reload into the cart. We leave just as fast as we had come down here.

Tonks and I leave the bank minutes later. She looks over at me. "I would like to say hi to the Weasleys while we're here," she says, and I feel that she's doing this more for me than herself. But I am grateful nevertheless. I smile and nod. We start walking that way. "He told me you hadn't been here in a while."

"Who?" I ask.

"Fred," Tonks answers. "I'm friends with his family, remember? They told me you hadn't been around for a week." She looks over at me as we walk. "Why is that?"

"I've been taking lessons. Haven't really been allowed to leave," I answer.

"What kind of lessons?" she asks.

"Dueling and Occlumency." I realize after I say it that it could easily sound like it's Snape who is teaching me. It's no secret that he is a master of Occlumency.

Her face doesn't look as if she took it this way. Her asking, "Who's teaching you?" gives me a chance to lie and not worry about Snape getting caught.

"Bellatrix," I say quietly. Tonks doesn't reply. I think she probably feels bad for me, considering how much Bellatrix and I dislike each other. I take this moment and pounce on the opportunity to ask a gateway question to what I really want to know. "What happened to your pink hair?"

Her face becomes quite sad. "I…I just thought…you know…a change of pace would be nice," she says in a dead voice.

I stop and grab her arm. "You can tell me the truth," I reply quietly. "You've listened to my problems…I can listen to yours."

She smiles at me, a sad smile to be sure but a smile all the same. "Later, Charlotte," she replies. "I'll tell you later." Her face says she doesn't want to be upset when we meet Fred and George. I nod.

We walk the rest of the short way to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes with light conversation. She mostly asks about what I've been learning. She's rather impressed that I'm becoming skilled in nonverbal spells.

Fred sees me the moment I step into his shop, and he hurriedly rushes past his customers and take me into his arms excitedly. "Where have you been?" he asks me.

"Lessons with Bellatrix…" I lie.

His face drops. "Bellatrix?" he whispers. He moves his hands to my shoulders and lowers his face to mine. "Has she hurt you?"

I smile. "Like I'd let her do such a thing!" I laugh. He calms down, but he's still openly nervous about my lessons with my mother, though I'm not really taking lessons from her. But I can't really tell him by whom I am truly being taught.

He sees Tonks for the first time. She has become even more dispirited than a few minutes ago. "Where'd you find Charlotte? She's been hiding from me for a week now!" Fred says.

"She's going with me to meet my parents, you know…her aunt and uncle," Tonks answers. "We met up at the Leaky Cauldron."

"I got the day off from my lessons," I add quickly.

We spend close to an hour in the shop before we have to leave. I give Fred a swift kiss then Apparate with Tonks to her parents' home. Andromeda Tonks greets us as we enter the house. I'm stunned by how much she resembles Bellatrix. Her hair is lighter and her eyes nicer, sure, but she's easily a member of the Black family. It seems that all of the Black sisters inherited the same beauty. Though, in my biased opinion, Andromeda is the most beautiful of all because she is not tainted by arrogance and prejudice as the other two are.

Andromeda hugs her daughter before her eyes come to rest on me. "You look just like her," she comments quietly, "but so different." My heart lifts with the thought that I might not look like Bellatrix. Since I've learned of my parentage, that's all I can see. Try as I might to stop, I always find myself comparing my looks to those of my mother. She puts her hand on my arm. "Come. Come sit down." She glances at Tonks. "Your father should be here shortly."

I sit down in their living room. It's a nice place, not spotless but cluttered in a lived-in type of way. It's inviting and large enough to be comfortable without being overbearing like Malfoy Manor. It offers the feeling of comfort that the manor has never done. Andromeda just watches me, presumably comparing me to her elder sister. I can't help but do the same to her. She could easily be Bellatrix. It's astonishing. After a few minutes of this, I say, "Aunt Andromeda," I don't know where calling her "aunt" came from; it just came out, "how am I the same as Bellatrix but different?" If anyone can tell me that I'm different from Bellatrix, it's Bellatrix's sister.

She smiles at me. "Well, you're here, for one, with your blood traitor family," she answers. "I take it they don't know you planned on meeting us?"

"There's a lot they don't know about me, actually," I reply with a smile.

"I guess they like to see you as another Bellatrix?" she inquires.

"That's what I've been thinking lately. They expect me to be just like her…" I answer.

Andromeda smiles. "You don't have to be. Look at me and Sirius. We grew up under the constant influence of pure-blood superiority, and we turned out nothing like our parents." The thought makes me happier than I've been in a while. "That's how you're different from Bellatrix. I can see the defiance in your eyes. They're not Bellatrix's. They're full of the same early stages of rebellion I saw in Sirius when he was growing up." She looks at me intently. "It was Aurelia, wasn't it?"

I nod. "It was, but now it's Charlotte Rodgers."

"How many people know the truth?" Tonks asks.

I look over at her for the first time since I entered the house. "The whole truth?" I reply. "You," I say to her, "Mrs. Weasley, McGonagall, and Dumbledore," I can't tell them that Snape knows. "Oh, and the Malfoys and Bellatrix."

"The whole truth?" Andromeda asks. "Is there more than you being just the daughter of Bellatrix?"

Tonks had kept her word. She hadn't told even her mother about my duty to Voldemort. Something about that makes me heart swell. "There's…a bit more…" I reply.

At that moment, the front door opens and in walks who I can only assume is Ted Tonks. If not, then we're about to have some serious problems. "Ted!" Andromeda greets him. "You startled me. I didn't think you'd be home until later." She gets up and gives her husband kiss and helps him out of his traveling cloak.

"Who's this?" he asks, looking at me.

"Aurelia Lestrange – Charlotte Rodgers," Tonks answers. "The one I told you about." She, too, has stood to greet him.

His eyes don't leave my face. "Bellatrix's daughter?" he asks. "This is she?"

He's not asking me, but I answer anyways, "Yes, sir." I stand and offer my hand.

"Ted Tonks," he says, shaking my extended hand.

After the quick introduction, we all take a seat. Tonks and I tell them about my duty to Voldemort. Tonks is hesitant to tell them, but they are my family. I want them to know. So I confide in them, with the help of my cousin. My aunt and uncle have many of the same reactions that McGonagall and Mrs. Weasley had. First shock, then fear, then sympathy. It's easier to accept the sympathetic looks from family, maybe because I feel connected to them by my blood or maybe it's because I don't know them as well. I'm not sure.

Ted and Andromeda don't say anything when Tonks and I finish. They just look at me. "I don't want to," I say, though I have said this many times throughout the story, "but I don't have a choice."

They both nod at me, as they have done each time I try to reaffirm this fact.

Andromeda places her hand on my knee. "He will be stopped before that happens," she says confidently. Her confidence actually makes it believable, though it is a long-shot. I usually never let myself get carried away with the thought of getting out of my duty, but with Andromeda's words, I can't help but think about what life might be like if Voldemort _is_ killed before I have to bear his child.

I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her neck. "Thank you," I whisper to her.

She returns my hug. "Of course," she answers warmly.

I stay for lunch with the Tonks family. Our conversations are not near as depressing as our first one had been. I learn all about the Black family and their supremacist beliefs. It honestly does not make sense to me, but they claim that it doesn't make sense to them either. So I guess it kind of evens out.

Unfortunately, the Tonks family is now just as worried about me as the Weasley family, but my aunt and uncle do have more of a legitimate excuse now that they know the full truth. They believe I am staying with the Malfoys as well. This also causes issues. So fearful for me they are, that they have Tonks go with my back to Diagon Alley (I said I had to get some things), and they plan on her Apparating as close to Malfoy Manor as possible without endangering herself.

Of course, when we get to Diagon Alley, I don't let her go with me to Malfoy Manor, but we stay in the alley for a while to make it seem that we are obeying her parents. We go to the ice cream parlor and each get some ice cream. While we're sitting around, enjoying the dessert, I look at Tonks. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I ask quietly.

She flushes. "It…it's really not that big of a deal…" she tells me.

"Of course it is!" I argue. "You're not…you. I haven't even known you that long, and I can see that." I meet her eyes. "Molly knows, doesn't she? That's why you spend so much time over there, isn't it?" She looks away. "You don't have to tell me. Just…let me ask you one thing." Tonks looks back at me. "Is it Lupin?"

Her face drops. "How…?"

"The Easter holidays," I say. "When Sirius would talk about his days at Hogwarts, your face lit up. I just assumed it was Lupin and not any of the others."

"Oh…"

"I won't tell anyone, Tonks," I promise her, "just as you didn't tell anyone about my duty to Voldemort." She smiles weakly at me. I take out my pocket watch. "I should go…"

We stand and say goodbye before I Apparate back to Spinner's End.

When I step inside, Snape holds up a letter. "You've got mail from Malfoy Manor," he says.

* * *

**Hmm...**

**What did you think about her telling the Tonks family? Do you think it was a good or a bad idea?**

**What kind of mail do you think she got from Malfoy Manor? What do you think's going to happen?**

**Why do you think Snape cancelled her lessons?**

**Review!**

* * *

**I'm going to try to continue updating every day. If something happens, I'll give you a warning that it will be a longer wait for the next chapter. Unless something happens though, it'll be an update every day:)**

**Updates are going to come a couple of hours later than usual this week. So if you check your email first thing in the morning, check back because I'll definitely be updating every day this week:)**


	38. Chapter 38

**So apparently updating later in the day is not a good idea. I only got one review on that last chapter. That kinda bums me out a bit, but I'll update anyway, because it makes me happy to update. **

**Special thanks to _Dolceconbrio_ for reviewing!**

* * *

Dolceconbrio: Again, thanks for reviewing! I thought it would leave some people curious since Charlotte has no idea why he showed her his memory, but all will be explained:) That's what I was thinking too. But it's extremely important for them to know later on in the story, so I told them. Of course, I can't say why it's so important that they know. That'll have to unfold in time. The letter is probably not as climatic as you are expecting...my apologies for that. You'll understand what I mean when you start reading the chapter. So, without further ado, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**First off, I want to apologize for the crappy formatting with the O.W.L. grades. Fanficiton format was much different that the program I'm using. I spent nearly an hour trying to make it look like it did in the book, but Fanfiction wouldn't allow it, no matter what I tried. So I am soooo sorry about that. It looks completely awful.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 38**

I walk slowly over to the armchair Snape is sitting in. Tentatively, I take the letter from him. "From whom?" I ask quietly, doing my best to keep my fear at bay but not quite able to keep it from my voice.

"Calm down," Snape says dryly. "It isn't a letter from anyone beckoning you back. Neither Hogwarts nor the Ministry knows that you are here. It is believed that you are with the Malfoys. Those are your O.W.L. grades."

I look down at the letter. I don't want to know what I got.

"Go on, then," Snape says. I glance up. He's watching me with a cruel smile. "Open it."

I obey and tear it open.

**O****RDINARY**** W****IZARDING**** L****EVEL**** R****ESULTS**

**_ OUTSTANDING (O)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POOR (P)  
EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS (E)~~~~~~~~DREADFUL (D)  
ACCEPTABLE (A)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TROLL (T)_**

Arithmancy_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_E  
Astronomy_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_T  
Care of Magical Creatures_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_P  
Charms_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_O  
Defense Against the Dark Arts_~_~_~_~_~_E  
Herbology_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_D  
History of Magic_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_A  
Potions_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_E  
Study of Ancient Runes_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_A  
Transfiguration_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_O

I did better than I thought I would. I knew I was going to get a "Troll" in Astronomy when I walked out like I did. I hadn't really done any of it, and the parts that I had done were quite horrible. I also knew I would fail Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology. Deep down, I knew I would get an "Outstanding" in Charms and Transfiguration, but I didn't want to think too much about in case I didn't. What surprises me the most though is the "Exceeds Expectations" in Potions. I thought for sure I would get lower than that. The rest I pretty much expected. I smirk at Professor Snape. "Looks like I won't be in your Potions class anymore, sir," I say in a falsely sad voice. I hand him the paper.

He reads over it. "I will not be teaching Potions this year," he comments. "I've been appointed to the Defense Against the Dark Arts post."

I freeze. "What? Since when?" From what I've heard, Snape has tried every year since he started working at Hogwarts to get that job. I wonder what changed…

"With Umbridge gone, there was a vacant position at Hogwarts. Dumbledore got an old colleague to fill the position of Potions Professor, allowing me to take the Defense Against the Dark Arts post," he keeps his voice casual, but he is obviously thrilled about it. His eyes betray him.

"Congratulations," I say wryly. I don't really know what to think. I had hoped to continue into N.E.W.T. level Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Snape only accepts those "Outstanding" students.

"You don't sound the least bit happy," he says dryly. "I thought you'd be excited about continuing to N.E.W.T. level Potions."

"Oh, yes," I answer sarcastically, "because Potions means so much to me…"

"You don't have to take the class," he replies.

That's true. But I don't see the point of going back to Hogwarts if I only plan on taking three classes: Transfiguration, Charms, and Arithmancy. And I'm not even sure if I'll be taking Arithmancy. It was not a very enjoyable class, even with Hermione there to keep me company. "That leaves me taking two classes," I say, "Transfiguration and Charms."

Snape looks up from my O.W.L. grades. "No Defense Against the Dark Arts?" he asks. "I thought you above all others, with the exception of possibly Potter, would be most passionate about continuing to the N.E.W.T. level. Why else have I been giving you lessons?"

"You only accept 'Outstanding' for those who want to advance in Potions," I reply. "I just assumed –"

"Haven't I told you not to assume things, Rodgers?" Snape cuts me off. "As it is, those with 'Exceeds Expectations' in Defense Against the Dark Arts are permitted to move forward to N.E.W.T. level."

All I can say is, "Oh…"

"Moral of the story: Do not assume things," Snape jeers.

I scowl at him.

"I am wondering, though," Snape continues, "how does one get 'Troll' in Astronomy."

"That's not a story I want tell you," I reply.

He places my scores on the rickety table. "I believe it is time to resume your lessons." He stands and goes to the door that leads to his potion room. I know what he's going to try to do. He's going to try using Legilimency to see why I did so poorly in Astronomy. So my one goal in these coming lessons is to make sure that he does not get to that particular memory. At all cost, I will keep him out.

Snape clears the room of his potions things and goes to the far side. "Occlumency first," he says. Yep, he's definitely trying to see that memory. I brace myself. He will not see it. I won't let him. "One…two…three…_Legilimens!"_

_I'm standing in the Astronomy Tower next to Harry. McGonagall is running toward Hagrid's cabin._ This will not happen. I throw him out, but this is the hardest he's ever fought to stay in one of my memories. He finds another memory, which is better than him seeing that one.

_ I cast the Disillusionment Charm on Fred and then myself. We stand outside Dumbledore's office while the former Minister of Magic tries to arrest the headmaster._

I throw Snape out, but he comes right back.

_I am standing in a cave. There is a dead wolf lying on the ground. I cast the Disillusionment Charm over it, but it doesn't fully disappear. I reverse the spell then do it again. It's better but not perfect. I try it again. And again._

I close down the memory. He will not get the better of me.

_Snape walks with Draco to Umbridge's office. I'm nowhere to be seen. I've already used the Disillusionment Charm on myself._

It's like he's following the memories when I used the Disillusionment Charm, like he knows that it might lead to the answer of why I got a "Troll" in Astronomy. But it's my one goal to keep him out of that memory, and I will not fail.

_Draco and I are lying in his bed. _I would recognize that room anywhere_. We're holding hands. He looks over at me and says, "I love you, Charlotte."_

_ I smile at him. "I love you, Draco." He slowly leans to kiss me._

"NO!" I say firmly. I'm not shouting as I thought I would be. My voice is just full of resolve. But I am on my hands and knees. Snape had switched his tactics, probably to get me to focus on keeping him out of the memories of Draco so I will weaken and release the memory of what happened during the Astronomy O.W.L. I won't do it. He can see everything that happened between me and Draco, but he will not see what happened in the Astronomy O.W.L.

"Again," he says with frustration. I smirk at him. "One…two…_Legilimens!"_

He had gone early. I hadn't expected that.

_I'm standing in the Astronomy Tower beside Harry. McGonagall is running toward Hagrid's cabin._

No. He will not.

_I am standing in Umbridge's office. Her face has already been hit with the Stinging Hex._

With difficulty, I force him out. He finds another Umbridge memory to invade.

_The Blood Quill carves into my hand. I wince but make no noise. "You may go," Umbridge says. I look at the clock. It's nearly four in the morning. I stand to leave._

_ I am with Mrs. Weasley now. I am telling her my duty to Voldemort._

_ I am with the Tonks family. I am telling them my duty to Voldemort._

_ I am with McGonagall next. I am telling her my duty to Voldemort._

"Out," I state. I am bending over, but I am not on my hands and knees.

"How many people have you told?" Snape asks me. I can't tell whether he is angry or not.

"A few," I answer honestly as I straighten up.

"Again," he commands. "_Legilimens!"_

He doesn't even attempt to count that time.

_I am in the compartment on the Hogwarts Express with the Golden Trio and Ginny. I begin telling them about being Bellatrix's daughter_

I shove Snape out of my thoughts and memories without a word that time. "How many people know you are the daughter of Bellatrix?" he asks me.

"A few," I say.

"Again," he states. "_Legilimens!"_

"No," I say calmly. He doesn't even enter my thoughts that time.

The professor looks impressed. "Again. _Legilimens!"_

"No," I repeat. He can't penetrate my thoughts.

"Stop me without speaking this time," he says. "_Legilimens!"_

_ Ron freezes my legs together and begins pelting me with snow._ With a thought, I force Snape out of my mind.

"Quicker this time, Rodgers," Snape tells me. I nod. "_Legilimens!"_

_ I'm running._ I force Snape out again.

"Where were you running?" he asks me.

"I have no idea…" I reply. "I don't know what memory that was."

Snape is pleased. "Because you did not allow enough information before you stopped me. Again. _Legilimens!"_

_ Fred's face flashes across my thoughts._ Then he's gone, and I'm left looking at Snape.

"_Legilimens!"_ he shouts.

I remain staring at Snape, unblinkingly, in the dark basement lit only by torches.

He nods to me. "Well done, Rodgers," he says.

I smile. I've done it. I've kept him out of my mind completely. "Thank you, professor," I reply.

"We're not done. Not yet." He points his wand at me. "This time, force me to see only the memories you want me to see."

I nod.

"_Legilimens!"_

I know what I am going to show him. _I'm standing next to Harry in the Astronomy Tower. McGonagall is running toward Hagrid's cabin. She is hit by four Stunning Spells. _Snape is fighting to see anything else. Draco's face appears, but I force it down and continue what I want to show the Potions Master. _I grab up my O.W.L. exam, shove it into the arms of one of the professors, and leave the tower. _Fred's face comes to mind, but I stop it as well. _I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and go to the entrance hall. McGonagall is being carried in, motionless. I follow Umbridge to the swamp that blocks her office and go with her as she makes her way around it. She steps into her office. I stop the door from closing, take the charm off of myself, and growl, "You're just a pathetic coward." _Pansy's face flashes through my mind. I am tempted to go to the memory of me humiliating Draco in the common room, but stop myself. I go back to Umbridge.

_ Umbridge spins around. Before she has a chance to point her wand at me, I expel it from her hands, catch it, and throw it into the swamp. "How dare you!" I scream. _Harry's face.

_"How dare I what, Miss Rodgers?" she asks sweetly. _Hermione's face.

_ "You know bloody well what!" I shriek._

Ron's face. _"Oh, you mean Professor Hagrid?" she replies._

_ "I couldn't care less about him!" I snarl._

_ She pauses. "You mean Professor McGonagall?" I clench my teeth together. "She was interfering with an act of the Ministry." _McGonagall's lifeless body.

_ I tighten my hold on my wand. "Don't say her name!" I growl._

_ "Put your wand down, Miss Rodgers," she says diplomatically. "Minerva McGonagall is not worth throwing away the rest of your life, is she?" I cast the Stinging Hex at her, catching her in the face. She falls backward with a shriek. "You wicked little child!" Then she pulls herself up using her desk. _Draco and I are dancing. It seems that Snape won't give up, but neither will I. I force him back to the memory I am allowing him to see, and only that one.

_I throw a silencing spell on Umbridge and say, "Crucio!" She tries to screech in pain, but the silencing spell has done its job. I release both of the spells._

_ She gains her composure. "An Unforgivable Curse?" her voice is triumphant. "It'll be Azkaban for you, Miss Rodgers." _I am flying over the Quidditch pitch.

_ "I don't think so," I reply. I flick my wand and cast a memory charm at her, modifying her memories. I finish off by Stunning her. I say quietly to her immobile body, "I told Snape I wanted to be an Obliviator." I turn and leave her office as fast as possible._

I force Snape out of my mind completely. He watches me for a moment. "You told me you wanted to be an Obliviator," he repeats. It's hard to be sure, but it looks like there is a smile playing at his lips. "You Cruciated Umbridge?"

"Yes, professor," I answer. "And it was very satisfying."

"But why?" he asks.

"She could have killed McGonagall. I was angry…" I leave it at that. That's when it hits me. Who else do I know that uses the Cruciatus Curse happily? "Oh my God," I whisper. I slump to the floor and rest my head on my knees. "I'm more like her than I thought…"

"What was that?" Snape says.

"I…I'm more like her than I thought!" I shout. The memory of avenging McGonagall is now not as satisfying as it had been.

"Who? Bellatrix?" Snape replies. "You're nothing like her."

I look up at him.

"She would not have hunted down Umbridge to avenge the Head of the Gryffindor House," he says plainly. "And she certainly wouldn't have stopped as fast as you did. Umbridge would be lucky to be sane had it been Bellatrix." Something about what he says makes me feel better. He smiles. "Take pride in Cruciating Umbridge and getting away with it, Rodgers. There are not many witches or wizards your age that could pull off a memory charm such as the one you did."

"I've had a lot of practice," I tell him. "I used to break into Muggle homes quite often…"

"I should have taken you seriously about being an Obliviator," he comments.

"Bloody right you should have," I chuckle.

Snape is silent for a moment. I take the time to enjoy my victory in Occlumency.

"Get up now," Snape commands. I don't question it. I immediately push myself to my feet. He seems to be debating something. Finally, he says, "What do _you_ want to learn?"

I freeze. "What? I thought you made the schedules in these lessons…"

"You've grasped the basics of Occlumency and nonverbal spells. Before we begin nonverbal duels, I thought I would give you a chance to choose the topic we cover so you can have more time to prepare," Snape says, "as reward for your quick learning. Slytherin House cannot be awarded points over the school holidays, although that would be just as good." He meets my eyes. "Any topic."

I think for a second. This isn't what I expected at all. I don't know what to say.

"Or we could just review," Snape comments softly.

"No, wait wait wait!" I say quickly. "Give me a minute…"

"You do not have a minute," Snape replies.

"Okay! Okay! I got it!" I say excitedly. Then I pause for a moment.

Snape huffs. "I'm waiting."

I smile. "Patronuses."

His face falls slightly. He nods, but he's grimacing too.

"That not okay?" I ask quietly.

I quickly scramble for something else, but that's all I can think about. I was so envious during the D.A. meeting when almost everyone else could make Patronus. I desperately want to learn how to create one. Then again, I could always go to McGonagall to try to learn it, or maybe even Harry. I'm about to say so when Snape says, "Have you had any experience with creating them before?"

"Only non-corporeal," I say, slightly ashamed.

"So you know that you must think of the happiest memory you can?" Snape says. "That's good. Most people don't even know that when they first start to learn. Give it a try."

I take a deep breath. "_Expecto Patronum!"_ A little sliver of silver light comes from the end of my wand, but it doesn't even become a non-corporeal Patronus.

"What were you thinking of?" Snape asks. "It wasn't strong enough."

"When I found out that I am a witch…" I say quietly.

"Think of something else. Make it stronger," Snape replies.

I take a deep breath. "_Expecto Patronum!"_ The non-corporeal form of the Patronus Charm bursts from the tip of my wand. This gives me enough confidence to try again before Snape can say anything. "_Expecto Patronum!"_ Again, it is only non-corporeal.

"It's better," Snape comments. "Try again. Make it a happier memory."

"Can you create one, sir?" I ask him.

He just looks at me. He might be angry. Snape is a hard man to read. Then he says, "Yes."

"What form does it take?" I then ask him.

He doesn't answer. "Try it again."

I nod and take a deep breath. Fred's face flashes through my mind. We're sitting in his room above Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. He tells me that it doesn't matter if I am the daughter of Bellatrix, that he still wants to be with me. He tells me that he will still love me. My heart lightens. "_Expecto Patronum!"_

The same silver light as before comes from the tip of my wand. It forms into silver panther that glides across the room looking as if it is going to pounce. It turns and comes back toward me. Its teeth are bared, and its tail flicks back and forth. It stops in front of me. I reach out to touch it, but it vanishes. I don't look at Snape; I stare at the spot where my Patronus had just been.

* * *

**First off, I want to apologize for the crappy formatting with the O.W.L. grades. Fanficiton format was much different that the program I'm using. I spent nearly an hour trying to make it look like it did in the book, but Fanfiction wouldn't allow it, no matter what I tried. So I am soooo sorry about that. It looks completely awful.**

**What do you think about the Patronus part? Snape obviously felt weird about it, and didn't appreciate her personal questions. What do you think about her Patronus form? **

**What do you think about her excelling in Occlumency as she's just done? Of course, they're lessons are far from over, so don't think they're finished here.**

**Review!**

* * *

**Thanks for enduring all of my babbling. **

**For future references, I will update every day unless otherwise stated. So if you check and the chapter isn't up, check back a few hours later. **

* * *

**I will update every day this week for sure.**

* * *

**Thanks for reading my story! It means so much to me!**


	39. Chapter 39

**To clarify, I wasn't mad about not getting reviews. I can see how it might have come across that way. I was more sad and confused, because only getting one review on a chapter hasn't happened since the beginning of the story. I promise I'm not upset. I was confused:)**

* * *

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it was too, which is why I chose it for her first Patronus memory.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I tried so hard to make it better, it was so frustrating lol. I think he's mellowing a little, but it's more of an empathy toward her, considering what she's doing. I made her get it so quickly because she's always been able to do a non-corporeal one. This time though, she had happier memories to use (Fred). It was always my goal for her to be able to be good at Occlumency, for the reasons you said. I try answer back to the reviews because I want the readers to understand completely. If they ask questions that I can answer without spoiling something, then I want to answer**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! It's not that big of a deal that you didn't review. I was so surprised lol. It's fine. It took some research before I finally found the animal that would suit her, and it was the panther:)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! It's no big deal, I understand. I mean, I didn't update for nearly two weeks. What parts of the world did you go to? It sounds like it would be a lot fun.**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! I had to do something to make him feel a bit uncomfortable. **

**Takara Rose Oizumi: Thanks for the follow!**

** a. stephenson: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 39**

I want to create the Patronus again, but I'm stunned. I honestly hadn't expected to be able to create one. When I finally look up, Snape does not look proud like I had thought he would. His face is as hard as stone. "Creating a Patronus under calm circumstances is different than when you are being attacked," he says.

"I figured it would be," I reply, "but I'm just thrilled I was able to make one at all."

Snape nods. "It is an accomplishment," he says. "Creating a Patronus at all is considered advanced magic." He turns his back on me and goes to the far side of the room. "Do not be too thrilled, though, Miss Rodgers. We will now begin nonverbal duels."

I nod, though I still want to go back to my Patronus.

"Ready?" he asks me.

"Ready," I say. We give each other a curt bow and raise our wands.

As always, the first thing I do is cast the Shield Charm for protection. A spell from Snape is deflected and sent back toward him. He easily blocks it. I drop the shield and cast the Conjunctivitis Curse at him. He dodges it and conjures up a steel ball that soars through the air at me. I reduce its size and roll to the side. While crouched on me knee, I point my wand at him and try to expel his wand. As I expected, he stops the spell and returns one of his own. The red line of light zooms straight at me. I throw up the shield and stand to my feet.

Birds sprout from the end of my wand and fly toward him. When they get close enough, I silently scream, "_Expulso!"_ for each of the four birds that are attacking Snape. Each of them causes an explosion, but when they fade away completely, Snape is still standing, having been guarded by the Shield Charm. I cast the Stunning Spell at him, but it does no good. I throw the Knockback Jinx at Snape as he casts a spell at me. He's hit and rammed into the stone wall behind him. I'm hit with the Bat-Bogey Hex. The flying bogies attack me. It takes me a moment to rid myself of them and another moment to stifle down the pain in my nose.

By that time, Snape is standing again and has cast another spell at me. I'm thrown into the air, smacked against the ceiling, and slammed into the floor. I quickly put the shield over myself. As I stand, an attack from Snape hits my shield and is thrown off course, hitting the wall. I point my wand back at Snape and cast one of his own spells at him: _Levicorpus_. He's pulled into the air upside down. I can almost swear I hear him chuckle before hitting me with the Impediment Jinx that freezes me in place for a moment. He drops himself onto the floor.

I throw the Stinging Hex at Snape. It hits him in the leg. He grunts, and I pause for a moment to delight in my successful hit. But Snape recovers too quickly and retaliates by expelling my wand from my hand. He smirks at me. "Never rejoice in a successful attack," he says softly. "You never know when your victim is simply playing you for a fool, waiting for your moment of pause before finishing you off."

"Yes, professor," I answer, slightly humiliated that I was so stupid.

"Had this been a real battle, Miss Rodgers, and had I been someone trying to actually kill you, I doubt if you would be standing there now," Snape continues.

I walk over and pick up my wand.

Snape waves his wand and replaces all of the potion things then goes to the door. "We will resume your lessons later," he says. When we reach the sitting room, he comments threateningly, "Never again use one of my spells against me."

* * *

Over the next few days, Snape gives me more time off from my lessons. I assume – even though I have been told on many occasions not to do so – that this is because I'm getting better. The Occlumency is going better than my nonverbal spells. I can force Snape to see only what I want him to see, and I can keep him out of all of my other memories and thoughts. He says that I will need this mastered when I go to see Voldemort because the Dark Lord is a better Legilimens than he (Snape).

I'm not really looking forward to that moment, but I know it's inevitable. It will come. But today, I am determined not to think about it. Today, I am going with Fred to meet his brother Bill and Bill's fiancé. All I know about her is that Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, and Hermione all hate her and that she was part of the Triwizard Tournament.

When I get to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, Fred tells me that both Hermione and Harry are staying at the Burrow for the holidays. I haven't spoken to Harry since telling the Golden Trio and Ginny that I am Bellatrix's daughter. I don't know how to feel about seeing him. I fear that he might hate me on principle because my mother killed his godfather. I guess I'll just find out when I get there.

Fred takes my hand, and we Apparate to the Burrow. "What do you think of Fleur?" I ask him as we approach the house.

"She's…different," Fred says. "But I wouldn't egg too much on with Mum, Ginny, or Hermione. Ginny and Hermione call her 'Phlegm.' Of course, Bill doesn't know that." I smile at this. I always knew I liked them. I imagine it was Ginny that came up with it, considering she came up with the name for Dumbledore's Army. Even from this angle, I can see four people high in the air behind the house. It's easy to tell which ones are Ron and Ginny because of their beaming red hair. I assume the others are Harry and Hermione. They're playing Quidditch.

My mind wanders to the broom that I still can't really fly. If only I learned Draco was my cousin _after_ he taught me. I know Fred is a reasonably good flyer because he was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but with his business booming, I wouldn't feel right asking him to leave George at the shop so he could teach me. That's just a bit too selfish.

Mrs. Weasley is delighted to see me even though she knows I haven't told Fred about my duty to Voldemort. I don't know how to go about it. But she knows that I'm trying to find a way.

A wizard with red hair that I have never before seen stands in the kitchen with a girl who has silvery-blond hair. This must be Bill and his fiancé. My suspicions are confirmed when Mrs. Weasley says, "Bill, Fred and George are here." Bill turns around. He has the same features as the rest of his family. The girl turns as well; she's gorgeous.

"So you're the Charlotte who's been putting up with Fred these last few months?" Bill asks me as I shake his hand. "God bless you! He must be a handful!"

"It's nice to meet you," I say.

"This is Fleur," he says, introducing me to the beautiful girl beside him.

"I 'ave 'eard so much about you," she says.

Within minutes, I understand why some of the others are not big fans of her. She is kind of arrogant, kind of rude, and a bit full of herself.

Harry treats me no differently than he had before, even to the point where I don't know what I was so worried about. I should have known that Harry wouldn't think of me and Bellatrix as the same person.

I stay at the Burrow for dinner, which is better than anything Snape has been able to summon since the start of my Occlumency lessons. Something about Mrs. Weasley's cooking is better than almost anything, other than the food at Hogwarts, which I have grown to believe is the best I've ever had.

After spending a great afternoon with the Weasleys, even going so far as trying – and failing, much to Fred's enjoyment – to play Quidditch with the others, I don't think anything could ruin my day. But when I get back to Spinner's End, a bomb is dropped on me that ruins a bit more than simply just my day.

When I step through the door, I know something is wrong. Snape is sitting in his armchair, as usual, but he looks unusually unnerved. It takes him a moment to see me. Then it takes him another moment to speak. "The Dark Lord has requested you back at Malfoy Manor," he says softly.

I freeze. I'm not ready to face him. I haven't mastered Occlumency completely yet. I can't do this. "For –" my voice is squeaky. I clear my throat, "For how long?"

"They didn't say," Snape answers. "But I think it's safe to assume you will not be staying there. He asked specifically for a meeting with you."

My breathing is choppy. "But…I…I'm not ready!" I argue. "I don't think…I don't think I'll be able…I mean, I've gotten better…but haven't mastered, of course…not the way you have! He'll know I'm lying! D-do you think he knows?"

Snape stands and comes toward me. He puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. "Calm down, Miss Rodgers," he commands. I close my eyes and breathe slowly. "I do not think the Dark Lord knows about your Occlumency lessons. I do not think he is calling you to him for punishment. I think he simply…wants to speak with you."

I slowly nod.

"You must hurry. He does not like to be kept waiting," Snape says. He releases me. "Narcissa is waiting for you in the drawing room at the manor. She will take you to him."

"You're not coming?" I ask him. For some unexplainable reason, I think I will perform Occlumency better if he is at the manor. I know it's irrational, but still.

"He asked only for you," he answers. "You must go now."

I nod and Disapparate from Spinner's End. Sure enough, Narcissa is standing in the drawing room, but she's with Bellatrix, which I guess I should have anticipated. "Enjoying your time in the Muggle dunghill?" Bellatrix asks me with a cruel laugh.

I flash her the strongest smile I can manage. "Yes, in fact I am," I say. The smile fades from her face. She turns and leaves. I look at Narcissa, and my smile fades as well. My voice is weak when I ask, "Where is he?"

"Through here," she says quietly. I have the feeling that Narcissa is growing weary of having Voldemort in her home. She takes me by the arm and leads to a place in the manor I have only ever been when Draco gave me a tour of the place over Christmas. She stops at a grand wooden door. "Will you be able to find your way back to the drawing room?" she asks. I nod. "I'll be waiting for you there."

"Why?" I ask her.

"Just…in case…" she says vaguely. She walks off.

I don't like this. I don't like this at all. With a trembling hand, I knock on the door. "Enter," I hear Voldemort's chilly voice come through the door. Just his voice sends shivers down my spine. I brace myself and open the door. The room is shockingly similar to the Slytherin common room. It could almost be a replica of the place. Voldemort sits in a silver chair by a burning fire. He looks up at me with those red eyes of his. "Charlotte," he greets me.

"My Lord," I say with a little bow.

"Come here," he demands. I walk toward him. "Take a seat." I obey and sit in the other silver armchair by the fire. A large snake slithers up to my feet. I tense. "Nagini."

"M-my Lord?" I ask him.

"She is Nagini," he says conversationally. "She has been a dear friend. She stayed with me after I fell." The snake goes toward him. He runs his hand along her. Now, I like snakes a good bit, but Nagini unnerves me like nothing I've ever experienced before. She slithers up to the fire, where she stays. "But I did not call you here to meet Nagini, did I?"

I smile the best I can at him. "I do not know, my Lord."

He turns to face me. "I have assigned your dear cousin Draco a mission for me," he says. I listen intently, hoping that maybe he'll tell me what that mission is, but he doesn't. "His mission will lead to yours. If all goes well, he will be finished by the Christmas holidays, by which time you will be of age," I have a bad feeling about where this is going, "and you will be required to fulfill your duty to me."

I swallow though my throat resists with all its might.

"If Draco does not succeed by then, it will be later before you can begin your mission," he continues. I don't know if it's just me or not, but the temperature in the room has dropped considerably. It's now almost as cold in here as his voice. "If Draco does not succeed until after Christmas, you will have to wait until the last day in July, the thirty-first." My breath catches in my throat. "A fitting day," he continues as if we are talking about something so common as the weather, "the day of Harry Potter's birth, the day of the conception of my heir." He seems pleased by this, so I try to seem pleased as well.

All I know is that, at the very least, Voldemort will make me his slave in under six months. And, at the very most, I have a year before I become his slave. I gulp. I have to find a way to tell Fred. I have to find a way to tell…anyone, really. I need someone to talk to. My heart starts to race. I can't do this. I can't fulfill this duty. Would it be better for Voldemort to just kill me right now? If I refuse to let him do this to me, he will kill me. But I think about Fred…I couldn't let Voldemort kill me out of fear. I can't do that to Fred. And what an insult that would be to the memory of Sirius, a man who faced death with no fear, a man who taunted his attacker until his final breath…

My lungs don't want to breathe. Everything has slowed down. What am I going to do? There's nothing I can do... Tears sting in my eyes. I will not cry. I will not cry. Voldemort will not see me cry about this. He must believe I want to do this. There is no other way.

I look back at his nose-less face. His red eyes are staring at me. "Has Severus been teaching you well?" he asks me.

"Y-yes, my Lord," I answer.

He nods. "Good, good. What has he been teaching you?"

"Non –" my voice cracks, "Nonverbal spells."

He gives me his version of a smile. "That is good. One day, I suspect, you will surpass even Bellatrix. Tell me, Charlotte," he continues. I really wish he would just let me leave now. "Are you becoming quite skilled in the art of dueling?"

"I like to think so, my Lord," I reply.

"When you learn more, I would like to see you duel you mother once more," Voldemort says. "You might very well take Lucius's position…" he drifts off. Nagini moves back toward him, away from the fire. He runs his hand on her head. After a few minutes of silence, he says, "You may go, Charlotte."

I stand, bow, and say, "Thank you, my Lord."

I calmly walk out of the room and quietly close the door. After that though, my composure breaks. I can't do this. I pull out my wand. I could kill myself right now and not have to worry about any of it. I could end it all. But I can't… I slide the wand back into my robes. A sob breaks through my chest. Tears come freely now. I start to run.

I run straight in the direction of the drawing room. The sooner I get there, the sooner I can get back to Spinner's End, and the sooner I get back to Spinner's End, the sooner I can collapse on my bed and sob for a while without Voldemort finding out about my reluctance. I run into someone as I make my way to the drawing room. I'm in too much of a daze to see who it is until I hear the calloused voice growl, "Watch where you're going!"

Our eyes meet. I throw my arms around her and sob into the crook of her neck. "Mum," I weep.

* * *

**Poor Charlotte.**

**How do you think her "mum" will respond?**

**Who do you think she'll go talk to?**

**How do you think she'll tell Fred now?**

**Review!**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hi! Enjoy the chapter! I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like the story:) It helps me continue the story when I know that people are enjoying it! I love her fights with Snape!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I think it's kind of a mixture of your two suggestions, but that's for you to decide momentarily. I've got a lot in mind for her about Fred. I can't say if it's good or bad of course;)**

**RachelandHarryForever: Thanks for the review and the follow! I'm so glad you gave it a chance! It's great to know that people like my writing style. I'm always so self-conscious about it, you know? I tried to make it as original as possible, I guess I did okay? I try to update every day, and if I can't, I make sure to tell all of you with a few days' notice**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! Your thoughts are close to be right, but it's a bit different. I have thought about writing a book, and I'm actually developing the storyline to it, but I don't know if I'll get it published. I don't feel that my writing is good enough for that. Friends and family try to convince me that it is, but I'm not sure. I always find ways I can improve, and I'd hate to get a book published then realize I could have made it better...**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, things definitely seem more real for her now. She and Snape are getting on a bit better, mainly cause he pities her. I've got big plans for the Draco thing:)**

**Takara Rose Oizumi: Thanks for reviewing! Where did you get your username?**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! All will be answered in time. I've got plans for Charlotte and Fred. Asia? Wow, that's amazing.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Well, to answer your first question, I have a lot of free time. My parents don't want me to have a job yet, so I stay at home or with my grandparents a lot during the summer. I don't watch TV. I only write during the day because it entertains me more, so that's how I get each chapter done so quickly:) The Bellatrix thing is answered in this chapter, but the Fred thing will take place...well, I'm not really sure. Soon, but I don't know which chapter. You seem to be the only reader who thinks Fred might not take it that well. I honestly haven't decided yet. I have to plan ahead for either reaction, so I guess whichever helps the story is the one I'll choose.**

**Love2readFantasy: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 40**

Bellatrix is frozen where she stands. I don't know what I've just done, but I can't stop myself. I pull myself tighter to my mother, unable to prevent my sobbing and tears. Shocking me most off all, though, is when Bellatrix wraps her arms back around me and pulls me closer. It's then that I hear a very faint, breathy, "Aurelia."

"Mum," I cry back.

She rubs my back gently. "It's going to be okay," she whispers.

I clench my fists together. "I'm so scared."

My mother pulls away from me, puts her hands on my cheeks, and looks deep into my eyes. "My daughter," she says quietly. "Aurelia, you're going to be okay."

"How do you know?" I reply.

Bellatrix wipes away my flowing tears. "Because the Dark Lord cares very much about your well-being," she answers. "He won't harm you."

I remove her hands from my face and hold them in mine. I timidly ask, "Do you think forcing himself upon me so I can bear him a child is not harming me?"

Her face becomes slightly angry. "That is privilege!" she hisses at me.

"It's a curse!" I hiss back.

Bellatrix releases my hands. "You ungrateful child," she snarls. "When will you realize the gift you have been given?"

"When I no longer have to go through with it!" I snap. "When Harry Potter destroys Voldemort once more, and I don't have to have his child!"

Her face flares with fury. She goes for her wand, but Narcissa walks in before she can attack me. "Bella, what are you doing?" she asks. Bellatrix spins to face Narcissa. Narcissa registers how angry her sister is and continues, "What's happened?"

I look her in the eye. "He…he's chosen…a day…" I struggle to say.

"A day?" my aunt repeats. Then her eyes flash with understanding. "Oh Ch –"

"And the vain child wants to get out of it!" Bellatrix shrieks. "The greatest privilege anyone could have, and she wants to get out of it!" Her head darts toward me. "Aurelia, what's wrong with you? Can you not see what you have been given?"

"I see only what's being taken away from me!" I growl.

Bellatrix makes to whip out her wand again, but Narcissa shouts, "Bella, no!" My mother stops, glares at the both of us, then storms out.

As she turns the corner, I find myself shouting after her, "IT'S CHARLOTTE! I WILL _NEVER_ BE AURELIA!" I stare into the empty corridor that had just held Bellatrix until Narcissa's hand forces my face to meet hers.

"Charlotte," she says calmly, "what did the Dark Lord say?"

I take a deep breath. It's all coming back to me at alarming speeds. There is no escape. "If Draco succeeds before Christmas…it will happen over the holidays," I whisper.

"And if he does not?" she asks quietly.

"The thirty-first of July," I croak.

The thought sinks in. I have a year at best to be free and live life the way I want to. I'm sixteen years old, and my life will end in less than a year. There is nothing I can do; there is nothing _anyone_ can do. When Voldemort wants something, he gets it. He wants me to bear his child, therefore I will. I vaguely hear Narcissa saying my name, but I am staring into the abyss that is my life and cannot pull away. I'm on the edge, about to fall in, and no one is around to save me when I do.

Then suddenly, I feel like I am being forced into a small tube. My ears pop. I close my eyes and leave them that way. I can't face this. I'd rather be blindsided than see the inevitable coming toward me. I am distantly aware that Narcissa is dragging me somewhere. At least, I think it's Narcissa. At this point, there is only one thing I am sure of, and I don't want to dwell on it, but I find myself being able to do nothing else. Voldemort…

I hear a door open, but I don't open my eyes. I don't need to see where I'm going. I already know where I'm going, in the long run at least. I know what my future holds. If Narcissa is taking me somewhere to kill or torture me, then so be it. I'd rather go through the Cruciatus Curse until insanity than go through bearing Voldemort a child. There's another voice now. "What happened?" it asks. I'm forced into a hard chair. There's a table in front of me. I fold my head into my arms and rest it on this table.

Narcissa rubs my back for a second. "Come with me," she says. I don't move, and she doesn't try to make me, which leads me to the assumption that she wasn't speaking to me. Her voice fades off. I stay where I am and openly sob.

One of the things I regret the most now was ever falling into the arms of Bellatrix. For a moment, I had a thought that the two of us could escape Voldemort. If anyone can escape him, it's Bellatrix. My hopes had soared for those few moments. Then she became upset with me for saying I wanted nothing to do with Voldemort's child. My hopes crashed harder than they ever have. Narcissa's hand rests on my back again. "Charlotte," she says. I hear the movement of two chairs being occupied.

"Wh-what?" I moan. My body shakes with my sobs.

"Look at me, Charlotte," her voice is kind but final. I force myself to meet her eyes. The compassion in them only makes me wail louder. I cover my mouth with my hand to stifle the noise and wipe my tears with the other. Narcissa puts her arms around me, and although she is not my mother, her comfort means more to me than Bellatrix's had. "It's going to be fine," she whispers to me.

I shake my head. "I d-don't w-want…to hear…y-your lies," I choke. "I kn-know…it isn't."

She pulls away from me. I look across the table. Snape is watching us intently. I lean back in the chair, wipe my face with my trembling hands, and take a deep breath. All three of us are silent, letting the gloom overtake us. Well, at least I am. I don't know why _they're_ so quiet. Snape waves his wand and three glasses appear on the table. He takes one for himself then hands one to both me and Narcissa. "Drink it," he says.

I look at it. I don't know what it is, but I take it at face value and turn it up. The taste is good, but it burns my throat. The burn is welcome, and I quickly finish off my glass.

Narcissa takes a sip. "Firewhiskey?" she asks. Then she looks over at me and my empty glass. Her face hardens. "You gave her firewhiskey?" She puts her glass down. It makes sense that she doesn't want to drink it. She probably only drinks the best of wines. She wouldn't want firewhiskey. When she throws Snape a dirty look, I snatch her glass and down it, too.

Snape smirks. "So did you," he says. I look over at him. He hasn't taken even a sip of his yet. He meets my eye and places his drink on the table. "Takes the mind off things." I reach forward and grab his glass and drink that one as well. It burns the whole way down.

Snape waves his wand, and my glass fills up again. "No," Narcissa demands, her jaw set determinedly. With a flick of her wand, the firewhiskey disappears. "Don't let her have anymore." Then she stands and looks at me. "I have to go. I wasn't supposed to come here." She puts her hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "Owl me if you need anything." Her eyes dart to the professor in a warning. Then she Disapparates away.

I take out my wand and refill my glass. I lift it to my mouth, but nothing touches my lips. It's empty. I glare at Snape, wave my wand again, and try to drink the firewhiskey, but he vanishes it again. I try again, but Snape takes the drink away. "Stop," I command fiercely. Again, when I refill the glass, Snape takes it away.

"You've had three glasses," he says softly.

I reply, "I'm also going to have a child with Voldemort, and you don't seem to be doing anything to stop that." I try again, but Snape stays firm and won't let me have anymore. With the nonverbal spell skills that he taught me, I summon something that I know will help me even more than the firewhiskey. A vial of yellow potion flies into the room. I uncork it and drink all of it. "You made me do it."

"Was that the Euphoria Elixir?" he asks tightly.

I nod. "Sure was." It's taking effect. I don't know why I was so upset about Voldemort. It's really not that big of a deal. Perhaps Bellatrix was right. Maybe it is a privilege. Out of the thousands of his followers, he chose me. I giggle. "I thought you warned me about some type of side effect?" I say airily.

"I did, but I added a sprig of peppermint to counterbalance them," Snape replies.

I giggle some more. "A 'sprig,'" I repeat. "What a funny word…" I giggle again. I meet Snape's serious face and mimic it the best I can. I drop the smile from my face and furrow my brows. Then I laugh again. I can't keep a straight face like he can. "Did you come up with it?" He doesn't answer. Again, I drop my face to make it as serious as his. And again, I start giggling. "How do you keep such a straight face? I can't seem to do it." To make my point, I try again and burst into a fit of giggles.

"I heard you spoke with Bellatrix," he comments.

The smile fades quickly from my face. "I did." Then I laugh again. "And I think she might be right!"

"About what?" Snape replies.

"Why, everything, professor!" I rejoice. Another fit of giggles takes over me.

He shifts in his chair. "What is 'everything,' Miss Rodgers?"

"'Miss Rodgers,'" I laugh. "That makes me sound so old…"

"What was your mother right about, Rodgers?" Snape repeats.

"I've already told you, professor!" I chuckle. "Everything!"

Snape pinches the bridge of his nose. "Can you tell me specifically what she was right about?"

"Bearing the child of the Dark Lord is privilege," I laugh. "You should know that! You're a Death Eater! If you were a female Death Eater, wouldn't you want to have such a privilege?"

Snape clenches his teeth.

"Something wrong, professor?" I giggle. "You seem rather upset."

He doesn't answer. I try to mirror his face again, but can't manage it and wind up laughing. This time, I can't stop my laughter, and I put my face down on the table and giggle uncontrollably. Nearly five minutes later, with an aching stomach and watering eyes I look up at Snape. His face is still serious, which causes me to laugh even harder.

I conjure my Patronus. The panther glides into the air and stops on the table in front of me. I giggle again. "Hello, there." I forcibly have to stop my laughing. "Do you see that man over there?" I point to Snape. I start laughing again. "He scowls like this!" I try to copy Snape's face again. Then I bang my hand on the table again. The Patronus disappears. "Where did you go?" I shout.

The professor sighs. "Forgive me, Rodgers," he says coolly. He points his wand at me. "_Stupefy."_

* * *

I bolt up. My hands fly to my forehead; it throbs painfully. I groan. What happened? I look around. I'm lying on the sofa in the sitting room of Snape's home. He's sitting in his armchair, as usual, reading a book. He glances at me. "What happened?" I voice my previously silent question.

He puts his book aside. "You drank an entire vial of Euphoria-Inducing Elixir," Snape answers. "You wouldn't stop laughing." He grimaces. "It was rather annoying." I smile at the thought of my laughter irritating him. "So I Stunned you and gave you bit of a Dreamless Sleep potion."

I think back. I remember. Voldemort has chosen the day I am supposed to conceive his child. My stomach churns. I roll onto my side and expel everything from it. Snape grunts before waving his wand and vanishing the mess I've just caused. "Sorry, professor," I croak. He doesn't say anything. I lie back down, and ask, "Do you have any more elixir?"

Snape frowns at me. "No," he says.

"Do you have anything?" I say. He waves his wand and hands me a glass. I drink it, expecting it to be more firewhiskey. I am deeply disappointed to learn that it is just water. "Thanks," I mutter dryly, putting the glass on the table.

"What did Bellatrix say to you?" Snape asks. "You said something about it while laughing as a side effect of the elixir."

"It doesn't matter," I whisper. "It was stupid."

Snape doesn't look convinced. His obsidian eyes penetrate into my soul.

Without backing down, I stare into his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it," I say quietly.

He smirks. "Occlumency lessons, then?" he suggests.

"I've gotten better at them," I say. "Are you sure you'll see the memory you want to see?" He doesn't reply. I sigh. "Go ahead. I won't even attempt to stop you. Someone should know everything. Someone needs to know everything." I close my eyes. "I want someone to know." Tears sting my eyes. "Please."

"Ready?" he asks me.

"Yep."

"_Legilimens,"_ I hear him say.

_I am sitting in the dining room of Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix comes in. We start shouting at each other. Narcissa interrupts Bellatrix from Cruciating me to ask who my uncle was. It comes out that I am Aurelia Lestrange. She offers to Cruciate me until insanity to end my pain of Draco. I slap Bellatrix across the face, push her backward, and Disapparate from the manor._

I direct him to through my mind.

_Bellatrix and I are dueling in Malfoy Manor._

_Bellatrix and I are walking through the familiar streets where Snape's house is located. We're arguing. She mocks Sirius. She leaves me with Snape._

_Bellatrix is in the drawing room when I get to Malfoy Manor for my meeting with Voldemort. We are snappy with each other._

_I stand outside the room where my meeting with Voldemort had just taken place. I take out my wand and point it at myself. Then I stop and put it away._

_I am running through the manor, trying to get away from Voldemort. I run straight into Bellatrix. "Mum," I cry into her shoulder. Bellatrix wraps her arms around me and calls me Aurelia. I say things about my issue with bearing Voldemort's child. She releases me. We argue more, her calling my duty a privilege, me calling it a curse. She takes out her wand. Narcissa stops her. Then Bellatrix storms off._

I have to stop him now. I lean back against the sofa. "I can't do this anymore," I whisper.

"You called her your mum," Snape comments.

"Because for a moment, I wanted her to be," I say. I push myself to the feet with much difficulty and stumble to the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Snape asks.

"To bed!" I shout. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Can't do what?" he calls to me. "Occlumency?"

I stop and turn to face him. "Any of it!" I shriek. "I can't do it! I can't have his child! I can't escape him! I can't tell Fred the truth! I can't! I just CAN'T!"

"And you think that just because you 'can't' do it, you won't have to?" he asks me mockingly. "You think the Dark Lord cares if you don't want to?"

"I know he doesn't care!" I snap. "But I care! And I won't do it! I WILL NOT have his child!"

Snape's face turns red with frustration. "You're damned if you don't!"

My temper flares back at him. "I'm damned if I do!"

* * *

**What did you think of Bellatrix's reaction? Narcissa's? Snape's?**

**What do you think Snape is going to do now, now that he knows Charlotte will not willingly obey Voldemort?**

**How do you think life is going to change for our Charlotte?**

**Review!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Sorry it's so late! I've been away from my house all day and just now got the chance to update!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I'd feel smug too:) I figured most people had forgotten about it, which is why I put it in there. What do you mean by a clue about Snape? Yeah, things are changing for Charlotte now of course. I can't tell you who she tells just yet... I've got some things in mind for her and Draco.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I try to give Charlotte a few motherly figures in her life considering who her true mother is lol. Fred's reaction is in this chapter, as it turns out. And yeah, staying with grandparents is a great time to write!**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! Bellatrix is extremely demented. Her relationship with Charlotte is an odd one, but I like it. I can't tell you if she has to have Voldy a kid yet ;)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I love Snape too. He's definitely one of my favorite characters ever.**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! I was sad when Bellatrix died too! I loved her! She was amazing! But I can't say if things will be different for her or not...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 41**

I've been locked in my little room for six days now. Snape has made no attempt to make me come out, which makes my misery a bit easier, but he _has_ put an Anti-Disapparation Jinx over his house. I guess he's afraid I'll try escaping or something…

I refuse to come out of the room because I can't look anyone in the eye, not when I know what is coming. But surprisingly, Snape has been a lot of help. He knocks on the door, puts a tray of food on the floor, and leaves before I can get to the door and open it.

After our shouting match, he tried to get me to speak…to _anyone_ really, even offering to have Tonks or Andromeda come to Spinner's End. The second full day I was locked in here, Snape suggested that Fred or Mrs. Weasley come. I almost caved on that point, but I didn't want to see either of them, not with the knowledge of what Voldemort is going to do to me so soon. I'm almost positive Snape knew I would say no, which is why he was so keen on giving me permission to invite them.

Fred and I have not spoken since I visited his family and met his brother and his future sister-in-law. He doesn't like not hearing from me, especially since he believes I'm with the Malfoys. Going six days without hearing from each other has left me stressed, probably the same as it has done to Fred. I've waited long enough. Now that I know the day Voldemort plans to make me his slave, I have to tell Fred. I have to give him a heads up. We have to talk about this. There's really no way around it. He will find out eventually, and it's better for him to find out sooner rather than later and by me rather than someone else.

Sitting up on the bed, I look at Uncle Alphard's pocket watch. It's noon. Just like clockwork, the knock comes to the door. I go to it and open it. Snape is at the end of the hallway already. I have not spoken aloud for six days, "Professor," I try, but my voice is airy and hardly audible. "Professor!" I say much louder.

Snape turns, shock written in his features. He comes back toward me. "Good to see you're living," he says.

Sobs and tears are already threatening me. "I…I need you…to lift the Anti-Disapparation Jinx," I reply.

"What for?" he asks.

"I…I need…Fred…I have to tell him…" I struggle to find the words.

He looks like he's about to refuse to let me go, but then he gives me a slight nod. "You may go later," he says.

I guess that's probably a better idea. I don't want to distract Fred from his work. "Thank you, professor," I say quietly. I pick up the tray of food and walk down to the kitchen with Snape. I sit down across from him and slowly eat.

We're both silent. But it doesn't bother me. It makes the whole situation easier if I don't have to worry about speaking. I can focus solely on how to tell Fred. All I see are the bad situations, like _"Hey, Fred, how's it going? Really? That's great. Now listen, Voldemort has been at Malfoy Manor since the beginning of the holidays." _But it'd probably be best to lead with my duty. Or would it be best to lead details of my past that he does not know, like I did with his mother? But after that, how would I follow up? Should I go straight into my duty, or should I ease him into it?

"You're not eating," Snape comments.

I look down. He's right, of course. I've eaten all of three bites of my food. "I'm not hungry," I say flatly.

Snape doesn't respond.

After choking down a few more bites, I look up and ask in a whisper, "Will Harry be able to stop Vol –" his look stops me from saying Voldemort's name, "the Dark Lord by this time next year?"

"I would hope not," Snape answers.

I sigh. "You can drop the whole Death Eater façade, professor," I reply. "I know you're a part of the Order of the Phoenix."

Snape grimaces at me. "How many times must I tell you that I am not a part of the Order," he says.

I roll my eyes. "Professor," I say, "I'm going to learn the truth when I join the Order in a few months anyway. So you might as well go ahead and admit it."

"What do you mean you're going to join the Order? Under whose authority?" Snape says.

"When I turn seventeen, I will join. I will be of age. Dumbledore started the Order, yes? I have friends in it. I'm sure I'll be able to join," I reply. "So go ahead and answer my question. Will Harry be able to stop the Dark Lord?"

Snape doesn't answer.

"Okay," I say. I look him in the eye. "Why did you let me see the memory of you taking the Unbreakable Vow?"

"Like I said before, I did not 'let' you see anything. I lost control."

"Sticking to that lie, I see," I say caustically.

He smirks. "There are a few more lessons in Occlumency that we must go over before the day comes…for your duty," he says after finishing his meal.

"And then we're done?" I ask excitedly.

"We will continue to work on it," he answers. "It is essential that you completely master the art of Occlumency."

That excitement was short-lived. I really hoped I could claim to be a master of Occlumency after that and be done with it. I've only worked so hard so I can stop the lessons. Now he tells me that I must continue either way. I sigh. So close…so very close.

"Think of a time in your life that could have gone differently," Snape commands. "I want you to take that memory and create different outcomes. In our next Occlumency lesson, I want you to show me the real one and the lies. You must be able to alter your memories at will without a skilled Legilimens being able to detect that you have done so. Only then will you have mastered Occlumency. Only when you can have important information successfully hidden will you have mastered Occlumency. Until then, you are simply a practitioner."

I nod. "And I must master it to ward off Voldemort?" I conclude.

"Precisely," Snape answers.

* * *

Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is closed for the day. I can see Fred and George running about doing whatever it is that they do when the shop closes. At this point, I am kind of regretting not eating much over the past six days. It makes me more nauseated than I would have been otherwise. But part of me thinks that had I eaten, I would be wishing that I had not. There really is no winning in this situation.

Mustering up my courage and swallowing down my queasiness, I knock on the door. "We're closed!" George's voice rings through the air. I knock again. "Come back tomorrow!" I knock again. The door flings open. When George sees me, the scowl on his face turns into a broad smile. "Oh, hi Charlotte! There's a kid that tries getting in every day after we close. I thought you were him. I'll go get Fred. Come in." I enter the shop and follow George as he heads toward Fred. "Look who's here!"

Fred turns around and smiles when he meets my eyes. "Charlotte!" he says. "Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in days! I thought I was going to have to raid Malfoy Manor and rescue you!" He gives me a tight hug.

"He's even been trying to have me help him come up with a scheme to do it!" George adds.

"Of course, George had no qualms about the thought of helping me!" Fred interjects.

I smile weakly at him. "I've been holed up pretty nicely, haven't I?" I reply.

Fred's happiness fades a bit. "What's wrong?" he asks me.

I say, in a very airy voice so I won't cry, "Is there somewhere we can talk?"

He glances at George, who nods and walks off. "Yeah, come on," he takes me by the hand. Fred leads me to his bedroom and closes the door. "What's happened?"

I don't even know where to begin. I tell him as much.

He wraps both of his hands around mine. "I'm here," he says quietly, "and I'll be here as long as you need me."

I nod. "Okay," I whisper. It takes a minute before I continue. "So, you know how I am Aurelia Lestrange." He nods. "And that my death was faked, and I became Charlotte Rodgers." He nods again. "I have always said that I don't know why my death was faked." I pause. "That's a lie."

"You know why your death was faked?" Fred asks.

"Yes," I answer quietly. "I was chosen, because of who I am: The daughter of the infamous Lestranges. He thought I would be...just as loyal and talented as they are. And I would be a pureblood. I –"

"Wait," Fred interrupts me kindly. "Who is 'he?'"

I meet his gaze. "Voldemort." His face darkens, but his eyes tell me to continue. So I do, "He…he chose me, Fred…there's nothing I can do…"

His grip on my hand tightens. "What did he choose you to do?" he asks in a strained voice.

I bite my lip, not wanting to go on. But Fred deserves to know. He has to know. There is no other option. "To bear him a child…"

One of his hands goes to his hair. "You…you _what?"_

"I have to bear him a child," I say quickly and quietly.

"How long have you known?" he says.

"Since I was ten." I can't look at him.

He releases my hands completely. "Why are you _just now_ telling me?"

"Because…I've always thought I would be able to get out of it…but…I had a meeting with him…"

"A _meeting?_ With _him?_ You had a meeting with – with You-Know-Who?" Fred is on his feet now.

I nod.

"Well what happened?" he says with a rising voice.

"He…he's chosen a day," I reply quietly. Fred has every reason to be upset with me. I should have told him earlier. "It…depending on – well, I don't know what, exactly – but it determines whether it'll be the Christmas holidays…or next July…"

"_Christmas?"_ he repeats. "_Christmas?_ When did you have a meeting with him?"

"Six days ago," I say. "That's why I haven't been around. I've been holed up in –" I stop. I can't very well tell him I've been with Snape.

"Has he...have you…has it…" he can't finish, but I have a feeling I know where he's going with his question. He wants to know if Voldemort has already taken me.

I stand and hold his hands. His face is red, but whether it's with fury or not, I can't tell. "No," I whisper. "He hasn't."

He jerks his hands away from me. "YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" he shouts. I've never seen him angry before. I've always put Fred on a playing field with people that never lose their temper. In my mind, he has always been too much of a happy person. I have to look away from him.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "You're right. I should have told you…"

"Who knows?" he says. He's much calmer, so I feel safe to look back into his eyes.

I clear my throat. "Dumbledore," this doesn't seem to bother him much, "McGonagall and Snape," he still seems not to mind, "the Tonks family," that one causes a little bit of anger in his eyes, but he doesn't interrupt. "Voldemort and his Death Eaters," this one doesn't bother him much either. I guess that's because it's a given that they would know. The next one will no doubt make him angry, "And…and…" I stop. I don't want to tell him.

"And who?" the frustrated Fred prompts.

But I can't lie to him, no matter what the consequences. I've kept too much from him already. I take a deep breath. "Your mum…"

"My _what?" _he screams. "WHY WOULD YOU TELL MY _MUM_ AND NOT _ME?"_

"Because I had to find a way to tell you…" I say quietly. "I thought she would…be able to help me…"

He's silent for a moment. "I think you should go now," he whispers.

"What?" I ask him. There's a tiny hope that I misheard him.

"I think you should leave now," he repeats.

I put my hands on his chest. Tears burn my eyes and flow down my cheeks. "Fred," I cry. "Please –"

"Don't," he cuts me off.

"I love you!" I sob.

Fred puts his hands on my shoulders and steps away from me. Tears are in his eyes as well. "Don't," he repeats. "You should go."

He releases me, and my world seems to fade when he is no longer touching me. My only hope is that in time he'll realize that I had no choice. Maybe time can fix this rift between us.

I take a step away from him and Disapparate from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

* * *

In my borrowed room at Spinner's End, I grab a piece of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink and start scribbling a letter together. When I finish, I dash down the stairs to find Snape. "Professor!" I shout.

He comes out of the kitchen. He can probably see that I've been crying. "Things didn't go as planned, I gather," he says to me, not unkindly.

"I can't do this!" I scream. "I won't have his child!"

"We've had this argument already," Snape says calmly. "There is no other way."

"There _is_ a way out!" I shriek. I take a deep breath and try to hand the letter to Snape. "Promise me you will give this to Fred." He doesn't take the letter. "Tell Tonks and her parents that I'm sorry. Tell McGonagall that I appreciate everything."

He still doesn't take the letter. "What are you planning on doing?" there is a distinct but hidden laughter in his voice.

"JUST TAKE THE LETTER AND PROMISE YOU'LL RELAY THE MESSAGES!" I scream.

"What are going to do?" there is still a hint of mockery in his voice.

"I'm going to Malfoy Manor! Voldemort – yes, Snape, I'm calling him Voldemort – has ruined my life enough! He will know that I will not do his bidding!" I screech. "I don't care if he rips me limb from limb, if he peels the flesh from my bones, if he Cruciates me to the point of insanity like Bellatrix did to the Longbottoms! He will know that I will _never_ support him, that I will _never_ have his child! My mother can take my position! I DON'T CARE!"

"You think you can throw everything away because of a failed relationship?" Now Snape is openly laughing, but it's not a real laugh. It's like he's trying to tell me that my reasoning is faulty, that a failed relationship is no reason to throw my life away. But I don't want to hear it.

"NO!" I cry. "I'M THROWING IT ALL AWAY BECAUSE I NEVER WANTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!" I toss the letter onto the table and add, much calmer, "Make sure that gets to Fred. And make sure you tell the Tonks' and McGonagall everything. Tell Mrs. Weasley, too, that I'm sorry."

"What makes you think I'll ever have contact with them?" I think he's just trying to waste time.

"I know you're a part of the Order," I say. I meet his black eyes. "Please."

I begin Apparating to Malfoy Manor. Snape lunges at me and grabs me.

* * *

**What'd you think about Fred's reaction? Do you ever think he'll change his mind, or do you think he'll resent her because she knew what Voldemort was planning to do all along?**

**What about Snape? What's he trying to do?**

**Review!**


	42. Chapter 42

**Hi! I hope you like this chapter:) Some things happened that are important later on!**

* * *

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't mean to make you cry! I can't say whether Fred will remain angry or not...only time can answer that question ;)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't update. I tried to put myself in Fred's shoes, and I realized that I'd be extremely upset about that. So that's how I made him respond.**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for the follow, the favorite, and the review! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! If you're just now starting to read it, I'll let you know that I try my best to update every day:)**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say who Fred tells or what Mrs. Weasley may or may not do:). Unfortunately, you won't learn what's in the letter until later... If you have anymore questions about Snape in this story, ask me. I'll try to answer them:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 42**

I open my eyes inside the empty drawing room of Malfoy Manor, but before I can even open my mouth to speak, I am being forcibly Disapparated from the manor. This time, when I open my eyes, I am back in the sitting room of Spinner's End. Snape's arms are wrapped around me from behind, pinning my arms to my side so I can't move them at all. "You could have Splinched me, you old fool!" I shout at him. I try again to Apparate, but find that I cannot. So I struggle and flail my body around and kick my feet frantically, trying to hurt him in any way possible. He tightens his hold on me, making any movement other than that of my legs impossible. I can feel his heart beat against my back. It's quickening. I'm angering him. I like that thought. I flail my legs harder. "Let me go!"

Next thing I know, my feet are being lifted off the floor. Snape has leaned back to ruin the slight bit of leverage that I had. "Let me go!" I shriek. Doing what I asked while not really do what I wanted, Snape violently and unceremoniously throws me onto the floor. I smack my mouth against the table, splitting my lip open and biting deep into my tongue, and groan, "Evil git." I reach for my wand, but it's thrown from my hand. Bracing myself on the rickety table, I push to my feet. I spew the contents of my mouth at Snape's face, splattering him with blood and spit.

His lip curls into a snarl. With his sleeve, he wipes it off his face. Most of the filth is taken away, but some of the blood is only smeared. Without giving me a second to process how awful of an idea that was, Snape has closed his hand around my throat and has shoved me against the wall. His voice is soft but vicious when he growls, "If you _ever _–"

I don't want to hear what I am not allowed to do. There is too much of that in the world as it is. Instead, I spit more blood into his face, not even caring how reckless it is being. Maybe he'll do me the favor and kill me himself. I've really nothing left to live for at this point.

Fury ignites in his obsidian eyes. He pushes his wand against my cheek.

"Kill me," I say quietly. "You'll only be doing me a favor." His eyes narrow. "Or you could torture me…though I doubt the Dark Lord will take kindly to that, do you, _professor?"_

A deep growl emanates from the back of his throat. Then, through gritted teeth, he says, "_Stupefy."_

* * *

When I finally awake, I know something is off. My hands are chained above my head. I'm sitting on cold stone. My tongue throbs violently in my mouth. I take in the room. I know where I am. This is the basement room that Snape made with the Undetectable Charm. There are two torches flickering light around me. The cauldron in the middle of the room is brewing a potion. Snape is nowhere to be found.

I fight against the chains, pulling at my hands as hard as I can. They're too tight on my wrists; my hands can't slide out. The metal rattles. Using the chains, I haul myself to my feet.

Spitting on Snape? One of the worst decisions I've made in a while. Spitting on him a second time? One of the most dangerous things I've done in a while. Apparating to Malfoy Manor had done me no good. I don't even know why I had planned on doing so. It's doubtful if Voldemort would have actually killed me; he probably would have detained me, as Snape as done, until he got ready for me. Going back to Hogwarts is my best bet to get away from the Dark Lord, and Snape is the only hope I have of going back to Hogwarts. And I risked it all – for what? – a moment of joy in spitting on him.

I turn to the wall and put my foot against it. I shift all of my weight into the chains and pull hard. It doesn't work. I hoist my other foot onto the wall. Pushing with my feet and pulling with my hands, I fight against the chains, suspended above the floor. The chains do not relent, but I do not give up.

"That won't work," Snape's voice says.

Caught off guard, I lose my concentration and my hold on the wall and the chains. I slam onto my back. "Bloody hell," I moan. I spin around and sit with my back against the wall. Again, my hands are left above my head. It's unsurprisingly uncomfortable. "What do you want?" I growl.

"Oh," he sniggers, "you think I'm down here for you? No, I'm down here for the important things, such as the potion I'm brewing." He motions to the cauldron. "I want nothing from you. Nothing can help you at this point." Snape turns his back on me and works with the potion. He doesn't speak.

Finally, I say defiantly, "What's going to happen to me if nothing I can do can help me?"

"Only time will tell," he says vaguely. Taking a few vials of the potion with him, he retreats back up the stairs.

I don't know how long I sit there, staring at the door through which Snape has just left, but it feels like a long while before he returns. "Gave up on breaking out of the chains, I see," is the first thing the professor says to me. "That's probably for the best."

"Just let me go," I say sternly.

"Not yet," he holds two vials in his hand. "I wanted to test something."

"What?" I say, standing to me feet. "No! I'm not some Muggle lab rat!"

"Never said you were," he comments slyly. "But it might burn…might make you cry for death…after all, that's what the Draught of Despair does, isn't it?"

Snape comes toward me and unstops the potions. "OKAY!" I shout. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have spat on you! It was foolish and disrespectful!" I drop to my knees in front of him. "I'm sorry."

He smirks down at me, takes out his wand, and waves it at my chains. My hands fall in front of me, the muscles in my arms screaming. "Charlotte Rodgers, the Chosen One of the Dark Lord, on her knees in front of a Hogwarts Professor, begging for forgiveness," he mocks. I don't say anything. I look at my bleeding wrists. The skin has been torn from my struggling. Little fires consume them, but I don't say anything about it; I just pull them close to my body and bite back the pain.

"It was a mistake…" I say quietly. "I made a mistake…" At this point, I'm not sure if I'm talking more to him or myself. I'm not really with Snape down in his basement-dungeon anymore. I'm standing at the graveside of Mrs. Stoico. "It's my fault." Tears warm and tickle my cheeks as they flow. "I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have come back… I should've stayed away…"

"Miss Rodgers," Snape says softly, though I don't think he realizes that I'm no longer talking to him but a grave, a grave miles away from here. "You're safer here than with the Dark Lord." He grabs my hands and pours something over them. Only this brings me back to the present. One of the vials he was holding is now empty. The sores and ripped skin on my hands close and fade. "Drink this." I look at him with wide eyes and take the other vial. I swallow it all, and my tongue heals as well as my split lip. I hand the empty vial back to him. He stands and turns for the door. I think he expects me to be following him, but I can't bring myself to stand. Instead, I slide against the wall and pull my knees up to rest my forehead on them.

I've blocked that memory of Mrs. Stoico so many times that I had forgotten it. It was all my fault. Her death was all my fault. His footsteps cease suddenly. I don't glance up. I can hear him walking toward me. "Rodgers," he says. "Stand up." I can't bring myself to do it. "Stand up," he repeats. A force grabs me and forces me to my feet. It wasn't exactly the professor; it was he who orchestrated it with his wand, but he didn't manhandle me this time. I meet his black eyes. "_Legilimens."_

_I'm standing in Mrs. Stoico's office at the orphanage. She's crouched in front of me with tears of joy in her eyes. "Where did you go?" she asks me. "I was so worried about you!" The woman, who was the closest thing to a real mum I ever had, brushes her hand through my hair. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again!"_

_I nod. "I'm sorry," I whisper through tears of my own._

_She wraps me into a fierce hug. _

_A gruff voice comes from the door, "Well, well."_

I force Snape out of my memories. I had put in no effort until that moment.

"I thought you said you never went back to the orphanage," Snape says.

"Doesn't matter," I say. I start walking toward the door.

He watches me. "What are you hiding?"

"I SAID IT DOESN'T MATTER!" I scream. With that, I jerk the door open and leave the room as fast as I can.

When I get out of the basement, I go to the old table in the sitting room. My wand is lying on top of my letter to Fred. I snatch them both up and go to my tiny, borrowed room. In my rucksack there is a wooden box. I take out that wooden box and open it. Inside is every letter I've ever gotten from Fred as well as the coin from the D.A. I put my letter on top, close it back, and shove it into my bag.

I stand back up. I need to talk to someone. That memory of Mrs. Stoico has long been suppressed. I had almost forgotten about it until Snape had mocked me down in the basement. I guess there's always that solution, but Snape isn't really the comforting type. It would do me no good if I went to him. But I know who I can go to.

I dash down the stairs. "Professor!" I call. Snape opens the basement door and comes out. "Professor, I –"

"Decided you wanted to talk about what happened down there?" Snape suggests.

"Merlin, no!" I reply. "I need you to lift the Anti-Disapparation Jinx."

"If you are planning on going back to Malfoy Manor –"

"I'm not!" I interrupt. "I'm passed that! I need to speak with –"

"With whom?" Snape asks. "You obviously don't want to speak –"

"Just because I don't want to talk to you doesn't mean there's no one I want to talk to!" I erupt.

"Who then?" Snape asks.

"Does it really matter?" I shout. "Just let me go! Please!"

"Who?" he says.

"McGonagall!" I relent and say.

"McGonagall?" he repeats.

"Yeah, McGonagall," I answer, and I add sarcastically at his skeptical face, "You know, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, Transfiguration Professor, Head of Gryffindor House. Ringing any bells? She's been your colleague for – how many years now?"

He frowns at me. "I know who she is," he answers darkly.

"Then you should know that it's safe to trust her," I say. "Now, will you please let me go?"

"Do you even know where to find her?" he laughs.

I pause. I hadn't thought this far. "I thought…I'd start at Hogwarts…"

His eyebrows go up. "You thought you'd just search around for her?" there is still laughter in his voice.

"I…hadn't really…"

"Planned that far ahead?" he offers. "Yes, I see that."

"Do you know where she is?" I ask him.

He smirks. "Now why would I know that?"

I think for a second. Why didn't I see it earlier? "She's part of the Order too, right?" I ask, proud of myself for finally figuring this out. With how loyal she is to Dumbledore, I don't know why the thought hadn't occurred to be earlier.

"I wouldn't know," Snape says. "I've told you: I am not part of the Order."

"STOP LYING TO ME!" I shout. "You know where she is, don't you?"

Snape shakes his head. "Not at all."

"Please just let me go," I reply quietly.

"Where are you planning on going?"

"Grim –" I stop. If he truly isn't part of the Order, I can't risk telling him where the Order goes. "Sirius's place."

"He's dead," Snape says reflexively.

I bite my tongue. Then I spin on my heel and march to the door. Throwing it open, I wave my wand in the air. From upstairs, my broom, given to me by Draco, flies down the stairs. I catch it and mount it. I have no idea where I'm going; I can't find my way to Grimmauld Place if my life depends on it. But I don't think I'll have to.

Just as I was hoping, Snape realizes I'm leaving either way and says, "All right." I turn to see him wave his wand, scowling.

I send the broom back up the stairs and Apparate to Grimmauld Place. I go to the door and open it without knocking. There are more people in here than I thought there would be for Sirius being dead and all. A man turns and points his wand at me. "Who are you?" he says bluntly.

"Ch-Charlotte Rodgers," I say quietly.

Tonks comes out of the kitchen. "Put it down, Mundungus," my cousin commands. "She's a friend." The man puts his wand down. Tonks comes toward me and gives me hug. "What are you doing here, Charlotte?"

"Looking for McGonagall," I say. "Is she here?"

"Why would she be here?" Tonks asks innocently.

"C'mon," I reply. "I can piece things together. She's part of the Order, yes? Do you know where she is? It's important." Part of me wants to talk to Tonks about it, but I decide against it. While Tonks may be a good friend, McGonagall just has this way about her that makes her an easier person to talk to about this sort of stuff.

"I believe she's still at Hogwarts," Tonks answers.

"Thanks," I say swiftly. I turn and Apparate as close to Hogwarts as I can get. Then I walk onto the grounds and make my way to McGonagall's office. If she's here, that's the best place to start looking.

I knock. No answer. I knock again. Same response. It's a real letdown to not be able to speak to her. I knock again, for good measure. To my immense joy, the door opens. McGonagall looks at me with confusion. "Charlotte?"

"Professor," I reply.

"Come in. Come in," she says, waving me inside her office. "What are you doing here?"

"I…I had to…I had a meeting with Voldemort…" I say.

She pauses for a second before going to sit behind her desk as she usually does. Then she says, "How long ago?"

"About a week," I answer quietly. "I would've come sooner, but I kind of…locked myself away…"

"What did he say?" she asks.

"Well," I know my voice is going to leave me when I think about what was said and what is to happen, "he has…chosen a day."

"A d–" but she stops. I guess she realizes what I mean. "Oh, Charlotte…" she gasps.

"Oh me," I reply lightheartedly, trying to keep our spirits as high as possible.

"When?"

I go on to tell her about the stipulations of the time (without mentioning that it is Draco who has to do something for Voldemort; I don't want him being incriminated when I don't even know what he's to do). She doesn't really know what to say, so she sits in silence for a few moments. We just look at each other, trying to think of anything to follow what I've just said. Neither of us can. All she can say is, "Charlotte," in a very distressed way, which doesn't encourage me. But it does feel good to know she cares. "Who else knows?"

"The dates?" I ask her quietly. She nods. "Bellatrix – I told her right after; in a moment of weakness we acknowledged our mother-daughter relationship," I'll have to explain that later, I can see it in her eyes, "Narcissa – after Bellatrix and I had an argument and lost all sense of sentimentality, I went to her for help," try as I might to deny it, Narcissa had been more mothering toward me than I had thought possible, "and S –" oh, no. I scramble for anyone I can think of whose name would start with an "S" sound. I can think of none, so I quickly say, "and Fred."

"Fred Weasley?" she asks.

I nod. "We…were kind of thing…" I swallow. "He didn't take it too well. We haven't spoken since…"

"That's such a shame," McGonagall tells me. "I was so hoping you would be with a Gryffindor." She smiles at me. It's no secret that McGonagall is quite fond of her Gryffindors.

"I was hoping would _be_ a Gryffindor," I reply with the same hesitant smile that she had offered me.

"No doubt you know about the Order now," she says. It's not a question, just a statement.

"So you are part of the Order, then?" I say, not knowing at the moment that I am interrupting.

She nods and goes on to add, "You should know that we will find a way to stop him."

"Voldemort?" I question.

She nods again. "You're going to be fine, Charlotte."

I stay there for nearly an hour, simply talking to McGonagall about anything and everything. I tell her about my moment with Bellatrix and how awfully that had ended, and what Narcissa had told me over the Easter holidays about how my mother had truly cared for me. But we don't talk about that long. We try to keep things happier after my announcement of Voldemort.

When it finally comes time to leave, she makes sure I know that her door is always open if I ever need her again.

I step off the Hogwarts grounds and Apparate back to Spinner's End, never having spoken to McGonagall about the real reason I had gone there in the first place: Mrs. Stoico's death, how it was all my fault, and how it led to my first and most brutal murder.

* * *

**Do you think you would have spat on Snape? I like to think I would, but I doubt if I'd have the guts lol**

**Do you think it was a good or bad thing that she went to McGonagall over Tonks?**

**Review!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Thanks for all your support! It means so much!**

* * *

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! She does have some stuff that she needs to talk about, but I don't want to say who she goes to :)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! It won't be too long until you learn what happened to her, because the important part isn't what happened but why it happened, if that makes sense. Like, you'll find out what happened, but it's not overly important for a while. He might or might not...I can't say just yet;) The letter comes up later. It definitely has a purpose.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I just wanna say that when I read the "I'm baa-aack" I read it like the awful singing on the horror show things lol. I would definitely go to McGonagall over Tonks. There's something about her being older, you know?**

**Weepingangels91011: Thanks for reviewing! So, you're actually almost completely correct about Mrs. Stoico, but it's not so much how she was killed but more of how she was killed and by whom. It's important later.**

**Tinker fly: Thanks for reviewing! I think she should have told him from the beginning. To be honest, it rubbed me the wrong way too that she told Mrs. Weasley before him, even if she had good reasons. I have lots of plans for Charlotte;)**

**Strider99: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (37) They'll definitely be worried, but it was kind of a necessary evil, you know? (38) His patronus is based on Lily, so he wouldn't show that to Charlotte. It's too personal. (39) I can't say too much about how people will react or what they will say. (40) I wanted to show that Bellatrix still has some kind of love for her daughter. Narcissa cares about Charlotte a bit, and Snape is growing to care for her. (41) Snape is definitely trying to stop her from throwing her life away. (42) I put myself in more trouble too. You're not alone lol. Let me know if you got this! Also, did you get the last one?**

* * *

**CHAPTER 43**

Snape is waiting for my return when I step through the door. "I'm guessing you found her then," he says.

"Yeah," I reply sullenly.

He looks at me oddly, and I realize my mistake. Though we do not get along all the time, I typically call him "sir" or "professor," even if it's more of a sneer from anger than a gesture of respect. I hardly ever just reply with something so simple as "yeah." It's obvious that he's noticed this, but it seems that he doesn't want to comment, for he remains quiet.

I walk to the sofa and plop down, throwing my feet across it like it's my own personal bed. I close my eyes and rub them with the palms of my hands. Nothing has gone as planned. I hear the ruffle of his book as he turns the page. I cross my ankles.

"Have you worked out a memory to alter for your Occlumency lesson?" Snape asks casually.

I think for a moment. Not once have I even considered a memory to change. Now what? I guess it shouldn't be too difficult, "Yes, sir."

"Is that so?" he asks skeptically.

"Pretty much," I reply.

"So you're ready for your next lesson?" he says.

"Not in the least," I answer.

"Now is the best time, Rodgers," Snape replies. "You are emotionally compromised –"

I jerk the cushion from under my head and chuck it at him, successfully knocking the book from his hand. "Shut up!" I snap.

"Better than a shoe, I suppose," he comments quietly. He tosses the pillow onto my feet. "Anyways, like I was saying, you are emotionally compromised, which means –"

"SHUT UP!" I roar. "I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED!"

"Point taken…as you shout and throw cushions at me," he says sarcastically. "I believe your wrath would be unbearable had you _actually been_ emotionally compromised…"

I bolt upright. "Okay, then, _professor_," he smirks at this sneer, "let's go have our lessons, shall we?"

We both stand and make our way to the basement, but I have no idea what memory to use. It can't be one that he's seen, but he's seen so many of them that this is going to far more difficult than I imagined. Snape waves his wand, and all of his potion things disappear. He goes to the far side of the room, as usual, and points his wand at me. "Ready?" he asks. I nod. "_Legilimens!"_

_I'm sitting in a Muggle home. I'm twelve years old. There is a large Christmas tree lit up by the window. Red and white ornaments hang all around this tree. I am on the floor in front of it. The light reflects in my eyes. I'm smiling at it. It doesn't bother me that none of those fabulously wrapped gifts belong to me. "What are you doing?" an angry man's voice breaks through my happiness. I look over. He's holding a knife in one hand and a phone in the other._

"_Please," I say. "I'm sorry! It's just…the tree…it's so beautiful…"_

_He grunts at me and presses a button on the phone. "I'm calling the police," he says cruelly._

"_Don't," I plead. He continues calling. I whip out my wand. He laughs at me before I shout, "_Stupefy!"_ The man is blasted into the wall and is rendered unconscious. A woman comes running, screaming her husband's name, crying slurs at me. She thinks me a demon of some sort. A young child stands at the top of the steps, wailing. My eyes widen. I cast a memory charm and run from the house._

I show Snape the same memory three more times, but I change it slightly each time.

In the next one, I Apparate away as soon as the man sees me and threatens to call the police.

In the third one, I silence the man, cast a memory charm, and run from the house.

In the last one I show Snape, the man comes out, threatening to call the police. I Stun him, and his wife comes out. I panic and kill the woman with _Avada Kedavra_. The child shrieks. I kill him with the same spell. Then I look at the unconscious man who was only trying to protect his family. I show pity on him and kill him too. I couldn't bear the thought of him waking up to a dead wife and child.

Then I look at Snape. "The real one?" I ask him.

His face is dark. "You killed those innocent people," he sounds utterly disgusted with me.

My mouth drops. "How…?"

He points his wand at me. "You don't know what those people could have meant to another!" he shouts at me.

"Don't act so high and mighty!" I shout back. "I panicked! I was twelve! Don't act like you've never killed an innocent person and regretted it!"

"_Impedimenta!" _he says. I'm thrown into the wall behind me.

I whip out my wand and shout the same thing back at him. He deflects it. I throw up my shield. "What's your problem?" I scream at him. "I was twelve! I didn't know what I was doing! Have I killed people? Yes, most certainly. But you can't hold them against me! I'm beyond that now!" Why did I have to show him that memory? I should have waited until I was more skilled at altering my memories. I thought…just maybe…if I could convince someone of my innocence in the matter, I could also believe myself to be innocent.

Snape lowers his wand. There is a deep sorrow in his eyes. "They did nothing to you," he repeats.

"I realize that," I say, lowering my shield. "And I visit their graves every year, put flowers on their graves every year, and beg for their forgiveness_ every bloody year_." Tears prick the back of my eyes. "But they can _never_ give it to me, because _I_ killed them. _I_ took their lives. _I _did that, and there is _nothing_ that can ever be done to change that." I toss my wand to the wall. "So punish me however you see fit." I open my arms and close my eyes, ready to accept whatever he casts at me.

The attack never comes. Slowly, I squint my eyes at him until I open them completely. He's watching me intently but doesn't speak.

"How did you know?" I ask him as I drop my hands back to my side.

"Too much detail," he replies shortly. "Again. _Legilimens."_

_Fred and I stand in the hallways of Hogwarts. I throw my hands around his neck and kiss him. He doesn't pull away. Draco rams into the two of us, separating us._

I switch the details. _Fred and I stand in the hallways of Hogwarts. I throw my hands around his neck and kiss him. He doesn't pull away. Draco throws the Impediment Jinx at us, separating us._

I switch them one more time. _Fred and I stand in the hallways of Hogwarts. I throw my hands around his neck and kiss him. He doesn't pull away. Draco runs towards us, punches Fred in the face, and pulls me away from Fred to ram me into the wall._

"The real one?" I ask him.

He watches me for a moment. "Draco used the Impediment Jinx," Snape finally says after a few moments of silence.

"Why do you say that?" I reply.

"I personally don't see any son of Lucius Malfoy using any kind of physical attack," he says firmly.

I laugh. "I know where you're coming from," I say, "but you're wrong. He rammed into us."

Snape smiles. "Well done, Rodgers," he congratulates me, "well done, indeed. Keep the details to a minimum."

Biting my lip, I debate asking Professor Snape a question that I consider important. I decide…why not? When have I ever held my tongue around him? "Professor," I say. He looks at me expectantly. "I need to ask something, but don't interrupt until I'm done, please." He suspiciously nods. "You took the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to protect Draco – don't deny that you let me see it. You never told her that you wouldn't hinder him…if you could find a way to postpone…just until after Christmas…so I can have more time…before…"

"I can make no such promises," he replies. I nod, having expected this answer anyway.

* * *

I load all of my things into my rucksack and my trunk. We're leaving for Hogwarts today. Well, Snape and I are, as well as the other professors who do not live at the castle during the holidays. The other students will not arrive until later.

I went to Diagon Alley three days ago; it had been the first time I'd been there since my break-up with Fred. It took all of my willpower not to go to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, but I accomplished it. I got everything I needed and got out of there.

Unfortunately for me, Snape does not trust me staying at Spinner's End for two weeks without his "supervision." So I'll be at Hogwarts, again, before any of the other students. I guess it's not all bad. The food will certainly be better. I sling my bag onto my shoulder, wave my wand at my trunk, and carry it with me down the stairs. At the bottom, I set everything down. Snape is in the basement, probably gathering whatever he feels he needs this year to help him teach, although I'm not entirely sure what he could use potion things for if he's teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. But I don't question him.

He comes up from the potion room and stops when he sees me. "I thought you would have left already," he comments.

"Didn't want to risk your fury," I reply. That's not really the truth. The truth is that I'm dreading the classes I'm going to be forced to study, so I'm putting off having to go to the place that reminds me I'll be taking them. I'll enjoy Transfiguration, which is probably my favorite class of them all, but that's about it. Snape waves his wand at my trunk, and it disappears. I don't ask, but I'm sure he sent it to Hogwarts. "Remind me again why I can't stay here rather than spending two weeks alone at the castle."

He sighs. At least five times now we've argued about this very point. "You're not staying here without me being here. I've come to respect you, Charlotte, you're a good student, but I do not trust you. You'll find a way to destroy my house," he says. "But if you hate the idea of being there this much, you can go to Malfoy Manor for the next two weeks."

Well, that's no better – possibly even worse – than going to Hogwarts. I close my eyes in defeat. "Okay," I moan. "I'll go to Hogwarts…"

"That's what I thought," Snape replies. He offers me his arm. When I don't take it, he frowns at me, "You can't stay here."

I grimace back at him. "You do realize that I am fully capable of Apparating myself, right?" I reply.

"Common courtesy implores me to offer," he says flatly.

I roll my eyes. "Since when does Severus Snape care about 'common courtesy?'" I ask dryly.

The professor smirks at me. "I agree that is most unlike me," he replies. "So that façade is obviously not true." I grin victoriously. I knew it. "I need to Apparate with you so I can be sure that you do reenter the house as I put up my protective spells."

"Because there's so much to take from here," I say curtly.

Snape drops all pretense of being a nice person and grabs me around the back of my neck. He Disapparates from Spinner's End without giving me the chance to protest. I open my eyes. We're in Hogsmeade. Snape releases me. "There are things I must do here," he tells me. "Go to Hogwarts. Make no unnecessary stops along the way."

"Yes, sir," I say. Leaving him behind – or would it be him leaving me behind since he's going to enjoy himself while I go mope around and do nothing? – I start in the direction of the castle.

I'm walking the path to the castle when I hear a _pop!_ It's not overly loud, but it's definitely not the sound of someone who is extremely skilled in the art of Apparation. I look around. There is a figure following me. Whoever it is, they are wearing a black cloak that covers their face. I turn back around. Some people have no subtly. I intend on ignoring them completely until a hand rests on my shoulder and spins me around so I have to face them.

"Listen to me," an urgent voice says. "You're not safe in the castle!"

"I believe I'll be fine," I say dully. I try to look into my assailant's face, but I can't see anything other than the shadow. "Who are you?"

There is a huff of indignation. "Don't you know the voice of your own mother, Aurelia?" she asks.

I sigh. "Bellatrix, I am _not_ Aurelia," I say flatly. "I might have been her for about six months at one point, but I am not, nor will I ever be again, Aurelia Lestrange." I turn around. "Good day to you." I begin walking away.

Her hands clasp my shoulders, I hear someone calling my name, then I am being sucked into a tube. She's Apparating me somewhere. I open my eyes when we stop. "Where have you taken me?" I hiss. We're in a cemetery. It's snowing, and it's cold. My skin tingles. I don't like this. "I'm leaving now." I go to step away from her, but her grip on me tightens.

"Listen to me!" she commands.

I freeze. "What?" I growl, looking into her eyes.

"I can't let you die twice!" she says to me.

Her eyes are desperate, almost desperate enough to make me want to stay, but I still don't like being alone with her. I don't trust her. "You can only die once," I say smugly.

With her hand on my shoulder, she turns me toward a weather-worn headstone. In big, bold letters, it says:

**AURELIA VICTORIA LESTRANGE**

**21 NOVEMBER, 1979 – 15 NOVEMBER, 1980**

"You've already died once!" she says, her voice cracking slightly. "I cannot go through your death _twice_!" Bellatrix turns me around so I can see her fully. I'm too shocked that I actually have a middle name – something I never imagined I would have – to say anything. I'm still trying to process that. "Aurelia, look at me!" I focus on her eyes. Though I had been looking at her, it was obvious that I had not been paying any attention. "I _cannot_ lose you again!"

"The Dark Lord has assured my safety," I say. "You shouldn't be too worried."

"But I am!" she shouts. "I've done things – terrible, terrible things! If someone were to find out who you are…" she shakes her head violently, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen. "Aurelia, you must promise me that you will stay vigilant! No one must know who you are!"

"Is that why you think I'm not safe at Hogwarts?" I ask her. "Because of the mistakes you've made? Bellatrix," she winces at my use of her real name rather than calling her "Mum" as I had done in my time of need not too long ago, "I took down Lucius Malfoy and held my own against even you. Do you really believe that any of the students will be able to harm me?"

"Not the students," she replies tightly, "but the professors! Dumbledore –"

"Is the headmaster and as such will not harm me. I'm a student still," I interrupt, though I know I'm not even a real student.

She bites her lip. "McGonagall –"

"Would never hurt me!" I say. The fact that she would even suggest such a thing infuriates me.

"But she would!" my mother argues. "She was so fond of her Gryffindors! I drove two of them to insanity with the Cruciatus Curse, Aurelia. Do you really think she would not get her revenge on me through you if she found out who you are?"

"But she," I stop, almost letting slip that McGonagall _does_ know and has not changed toward me at all – well, she actually seems to care _more_ since she found out who I am, "she wouldn't."

Bellatrix closes her eyes. "Something is going to happen this year," she says slowly. "Someone is going to die."

"Who?" I ask swiftly.

Her dark eyes meet mine. "I've gone behind the Dark Lord's knowledge to warn you, Aurelia, but I cannot divulge the plans he's made." A tear slips down her cheek. This simple act wrenches my heart. My mother is standing here in front of me, crying to me, trying to keep me safe. It's too much for me. I throw my arms around her. Together we stand in front of my grave in each other's arms for nearly half an hour. Finally, she breaks the silence, "I do not trust Severus Snape, but he is the only supporter the Dark Lord has in the castle." She pulls away from me and puts her hands on my cheeks. "You _must_ stay as close to him as possible. He will keep you safe, for your safety is the order of the Dark Lord, but do not put your faith in him. He cares only about his own welfare. Do not trust him. Only use him, as he uses so many."

I nod at her. "I'll be fine," I say quietly.

"You need to go now," she replies. Then she pulls me close to her again and kisses my cheek. "I will see you again, Aurelia."

I smile. "Mum," I say in a way of goodbye. Another tear slips down her cheek. We both Disapparate from my grave, but we go to two completely different places.

* * *

**Do you think Snape actually will try to hinder Draco?**

**What did you think about Bellatrix? Was it a good or bad idea to let Charlotte know that someone is going to die this year? Do you think she'll piece things together? **

**Do you think she'll take her mother's word for it and not trust Snape or stick with her own instincts?**

**Review!**


	44. Chapter 44

**I'm gonna have to leave an important-ish note at the end. Make sure you read it!**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! It didn't freak me out TOO much lol. I actually had a good laugh. I can't remember if you forgot one of the questions lol. I don't expect you to answer all of them. I put them there to convince people to review ;)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted Bellatrix to show some humanity to her only daughter, you know? I haven't decided if or when she puts things together. I guess it depends on some of the following events I want to take place. So whichever scenario helps the story will be the one I choose... I don't think she'll start relying on people completely, but she'll definitely need someone with Voldemort approaching so quickly. It's just a matter of who that person will be**

**Weepingangels91011: Thanks for reviewing! Because Snape knows what Draco's task is and that he himself will have to kill Dumbledore, he definitely won't speed up the process at all. She does rely on her own instincts more than the warnings of others. That's kind of why I put that in there, to show that she does regret things she's done in the past and to show her that Snape is not heartless. That, and some of the things that were said come up later ;) If you are still wondering whether or not Snape knew Bellatrix was coming, say so in your review, and I'll answer. I don't want to give spoilers lol**

**Rubzdiamond: Thanks for the follow and the review! I'm glad you like the story:) That's why I'm writing it! haha. It's okay if you can't review. Most of the readers don't for some reason. Every now and then would be nice though, just so I know you're still reading :) but you don't have to, of course. I don't mind**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! She does trust him a bit, considering she spent the holidays letting him see her memories and all. Their relationship is definitely a complicated one, and I can see how it reminds you of siblings. I like for her to see the other side of him because they kind of have a lot in common (serving the Dark Lord while resisting him, having a bad home and parents that don't really care). I think I show a lot of their similarities...if I've got my math right it'll be Chapter 50.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! She has a grave because she was believed to be dead, and they buried her. They weren't going to dig up the grave after learning that she was alive. Bellatrix was showing her that burying Charlotte was one of the hardest things she (Bellatrix) has done.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! Really? I'm always afraid I'm screwing up her character. So thanks! That makes me feel a lot better! Considering how calloused Bellatrix is, I think a child of her own would certainly be her only weakness. Charlotte always follows her own heart lol. She trusts herself over anyone else, which is reasonable since she was alone for five years...**

**Svetlyachochek: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 44**

I dash up to the castle as fast as I possibly can. As far as I can tell, no one saw me leave with Bellatrix. I should be fine. So why am I this worried? There's this feeling that I can't shake that someone saw me. I replay the moment in my mind. No one was around. No one could have seen. Wait…there was that person who was called my name…but perhaps I had only imagined that…

I'm almost to the entrance hall. I dart through the doors. Maybe if I can get to the library I can claim to have been up there this whole time. It would be an easy enough lie. Madam Pince wasn't in the library this time last year. She only really came around when the other students arrived. There will be virtually no one to contradict me once I get up there.

I'm just reaching the stairs when I hear, "Miss Rodgers." I stop abruptly.

Turning, I see Snape scowling at me. McGonagall is with him, which only intensifies my confusion. Why would she be with Snape, looking equally as upset with me as Snape? "Professors," I say breathlessly. Having just ran more in the past few minutes than I did over the entire holidays added together, I'm winded.

"Where did you go?" McGonagall questions me.

I clear my throat. "I…wh-what? I was…in the library," I reply shakily. "I was going back…forgot something…"

Snape frowns at me. "The library?" he repeats. "I was just up there, and did not see you."

"Who was with you on your way from Hogsmeade?" McGonagall asks.

They're totally ganging up on me…this isn't going to end well for me, I'm afraid. It's completely unfair. The two of them are the only professors I would have been with, and since they both know I was not with the other, that lie will not work. "I…don't know what you're talking about, professor," I say with a hint of laughter in my voice, trying to sound sincere.

Her lips thin out, which proves that she is becoming agitated with me. "Why are you lying to us?" she says.

"I…'m not…" I say slowly. "I…wasn't with anyone…I was here…at Hogwarts…"

Snape raises an eyebrow. "Where exactly?" he asks. "We've been searching for you almost an hour now."

"Aww, professors," I say with falsely touched voice, covering my heart with my hand. "That means so much to me."

"Where were you?" Snape snarls.

I over-exaggerate the rolling of my head when I turn to look at him. "What is with your accusatory tone, professor? It's not like I have secret meetings or I'm living a double life. I mean, can you think of _anyone_ who could pull something like that off?" He opens his mouth to speak but glances at McGonagall and stops. He wants to contradict me, considering he's doing precisely what I've just said, but McGonagall standing there keeps him quiet. "That's what I thought. Do you really think it's possible for a sixteen-year-old to do such a thing right under your noses?" I glance at McGonagall. Her face seems disappointed, disappointed in me for lying. It tears at my heart. I shouldn't be lying to her like this. "What makes you think I went somewhere?"

"You were seen," McGonagall says tightly.

"By whom?" I reply.

"Myself," she answers. "I was walking back to Hogwarts when I saw a hooded figure Apparate behind you and begin speaking with you. I could see that you were trying to get away, but then you were grabbed and taken before I could reach you."

"It was you who called for me?" I say without thinking.

"So you did go somewhere," Snape interjects.

I meet his eye.

"I went back to Hogsmeade to find Severus. We had just spoken. He told me you would be on your way to the castle. We both came back to search the grounds, thinking you might have returned," she adds. "When you hadn't, we knew something was wrong."

I hang my head and rest my forehead in the palm of my hand. "I guess the game is up," I say quietly, willing the tears to come. Slowly but surely I feel them stinging my eyes. I look up at the two of them. "Someone did come to get me."

McGonagall's expression has softened, but Snape's has only grown fiercer. I guess my sorrow doesn't bother him like it does McGonagall. But not even she looks as sympathetic as she usually does when I start to cry. This isn't good. This is my last chance. "It…was my-my mother. Bellatrix," I whisper. "It was Bellatrix."

Both of their faces become more curious, Snape's more curious than McGonagall's. "What happened?" he asks me.

"She's becoming…attached to me," I croak. "She…she had to show me…my grave…or the grave that she thought I was buried in. She…wanted me to know…that she can't lose me twice…" Neither of them speaks, so I add, "It's okay though. She'll get over it."

"You believe she will lose you twice?" Snape asks. McGonagall seems to have the same question dancing in her eyes.

"With Voldemort looming over me?" I ask them. "Most definitely." I've stopped the tears at this point. They were doing me no good.

McGonagall pales slightly. "But you can't expect – you can't think that way, Charlotte," she says. "You have to believe all of this will be stopped."

"I would love to endorse those types of thoughts, professor," I reply, "but I learned long ago not to let my mind run wild with ideas that will only make my duty worse if said ideas do not pan out the way I hoped." I swallow. I don't really understand why I am telling the two of them this. "That being said, I've learned the hard way that the pain is lessened if I keep people at arm's length. It's lessened for both me and them. Bellatrix will not hurt too badly for this very reason, nor will anyone else. I keep everyone I can as far from me as I can. Those who get to close wind up in life-threatening danger or wind up dead. I don't like those odds, especially with my time running out." Neither professor responds, so I spin around and make my way to the common room. I need to be alone. I, Aurelia Victoria Lestrange, need time to let everything settle. Everything is changing so quickly.

* * *

After a week of being holed up in the Slytherin common room, I think I've had enough time to let everything process. Bellatrix actually cares about me. Despite everything I've been through with her, it feels oddly satisfying that she cares. I've never actually had a mother, and when I found her, she hated me. But now, she's worried about me.

Another thing I realize is that I said far too much when I was talking Snape and McGonagall. I mean, I said _far_ too much. I've seen or heard from neither of them since then. I expected Snape to come barging in, demanding more Occlumency lessons, but he hasn't. And I don't know why that makes me feel so empty. The lessons kept me going from day to day over the holidays. It was routine. I like routine. I don't like not having things planned. When things aren't planned, things seem off-kilter, like life itself is out of balance.

But there are things that I must do before the other students return, apologies to make, explanations to give. So, reluctantly, I force myself to leave the Slytherin Dungeon. I must find McGonagall. Snape, though, I couldn't care less about offering apologies or explanations to. I'm sure he'll find out one way or another.

I knock on McGonagall's office door. It takes her a moment before she opens it. Her expression is hard to read. "May I come in?" I ask her.

She pauses for a moment. "Yes, of course, come in," she finally answers.

I do just that and wait for her to get behind her desk before I take the seat across from hers that I've sat in many times before while speaking with her about things not pertaining to my schooling. I drag the chair up closer to her desk. There are a many times where I open my mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, and I'm sure I look like a little fish. The professor doesn't prompt me to speak. She watches me. "I…there are some things…what I said…I…it…I don't…it's just…" I close my eyes and rub my mouth with my hand. No logical thought is forming in my mind.

I open my eyes to find McGonagall still just watching me. "Are you able to speak?" she asks me.

"I don't know…" I say. There, at least I found a way to say _something_ rather than trying and failing. It's not much, but it certainly is a start.

"If you would like to leave and come back when you can –"

"It's not necessary, professor," I interrupt her. "I…I think…I think I'll be able…"

She nods for me to start.

"Firstly," I begin, "about the lying thing…I truly am sorry…I don't…I don't enjoy lying to you, professor." McGonagall doesn't reply, so I continue, "Secondly, I…I've said some things…I think…I lose control, when it comes to Voldemort. I know…I know I should act – and think – that things will change…I mean, I desperately want them to…but I can't let myself," this is not going as planned, "I can't let myself think too much about it…just in case. Thirdly," I push forward, "about keeping people at arm's length…that was…" Mrs. Stoico, "partially true, but it…was uncalled for." I tap my finger on her desk. "It just…people I get close to…end up in peril or dead…no matter what I try…and I don't want…well, you _or_ Professor Snape, I guess…to go through that…"

McGonagall shifts in her seat. "You act as if there is an inevitable pattern," she says.

"There is," I reply quietly.

"I don't believe there is," the professor answers. "I believe you have experienced many unfortunate coincidences."

"'Unfortunate coincidences,'" I repeat. "What a delicate way of putting it."

"I am not phrasing it delicately for your benefit," she states. "I find it difficult to believe that there is any single person who can take with them a path of destruction that ruins lives in the way you are speaking of, Charlotte."

I give her a disagreeing, sad grin. "It's always followed me," I tell her. Her unconvinced face leads me to explain further, "I know she's different now, but look at Bellatrix. Even as a baby, I had a tornado of destruction that followed me. Her life was utterly devastated because of me. Then there was this one girl in the orphanage who was a good friend of mine; she was adopted into an abusive family, ended up dead. Mrs. Stoico was…brutally murdered because I went back. And –"

"The first time we talked, you said you went back to the orphanage, but that Mrs. Stoico was already dead," McGonagall points out.

"I…I lied," I whisper. "I went back, and a Death Eater followed me…"

"Had you ever seen him before?" she asks me.

A tear slips from my eye. "Once," I say quietly. "He…had just given me a hot breakfast…but it was all so he could figure out who I was…then he followed me so he could force me to go with him…his…he went by Avery. He had known Voldemort quite well when he was still Tom Riddle, during their years at Hogwarts." Snape has told me what little bit of Voldemort's past that he knows, which is how I know Voldemort's past name.

"What happened?" McGonagall all but whispers.

"I went to see Mrs. Stoico. She was so relieved to see me." My hand finds my thigh and begins forcibly rubbing it, as if trying to rid it of some stain that is not there. I can't stop it, so I don't try. My throat burns with the sorrow I am remembering. "I was…in the front office with her… She was…rejoicing with me for my safe return…I loved her…like a mother…" my other hands begins tapping the table. I try to force back my tears. "I had hardly ten…ten minutes," the sobbing begins, "b-before she was…b-before he c-came… I didn't have a wand…there was n-nothing I could do…" I stop tapping the table and use that trembling had to wipe face. Mrs. Stoico had been my first family. She had been there, running the orphanage, for as long as I could remember. "He grabbed me…by the neck…and tossed me against…against the wall." The memories, now that I've opened this door, are pouring in, every little detail going off like a firework. Mrs. Stoico had been so brave, but she had stood no chance. The man was a wizard, a dark wizard, a Death Eater.

"Mrs. Stoico grabbed a knife," I say, "to defend herself and me…but what good is a knife when against a wand?" My hand is really hurting my thigh, but I still can't pull it away. "He…he charmed the room…and he…he began Cruciating her…after a moment…he said I could make it stop…if only I went with him…" I shake my head, trying to make the sound of her shrieking in pain leave my brain. "I wouldn't do it!" I wail. "I was too scared! And…and she…she begged for it to end…but I…I didn't…I didn't end it…" I hiccough.

"He laughed…it was high, but evil, not funny. I…I couldn't listen…I took the knife…he didn't hear me through his laughter…I stabbed him in the back…he staggered…fell to his knees. Then he rounded on me, but I…I still had the knife…and I just started stabbing…" my hand starts stabbing my thigh, but luckily there is nothing in my hand that can actually puncture it, "over and over and over…I don't know how many times…I was ten years old…and I was covered in this man's blood…but I couldn't stop…I saw Mrs. Stoico's motionless body…and continued jamming the blade into him…long after he was dead…" That had been my first kill. And I had done it strictly out of anger and hate and sorrow.

I make myself stop trying to stab my leg. "He had killed her, professor, and something took over me…I just wanted revenge…" The tears running down my cheeks eerily remind me of the blood that had been splattered on my face. "I shouldn't have gone back! I begged him, I was on my knees, begging him to spare her," quite like I had been on my knees begging Snape to forgive me and spare me from what I thought would be a painful potion.

I meet McGonagall's eyes for the first time. I can't tell if it's because everything is blurry to me, but it looks like her eyes are watering. I try not to think about it. "Voldemort has had a way of taking everyone I've ever cared about, professor. I don't want that to happen to you…" I have to look away from her, "I've done things, terrible things. Killed many more men…my life's already tainted with the mark of Voldemort. There's no way to escape it…it's always going to be there."

"Charlotte," McGonagall says slowly, like she's trying to think of something to say. "There are a number of people whose lives have been marred by him. You do not have to let him –"

"I'm not going to let him do anything to me, professor," I say firmly. "I want to help bring him down." I set my jaw determinedly. "I want to join the Order of the Phoenix."

"You know about the Order?" she asks.

I nod. "I learned of it over the Easter holidays when I was with Tonks and Sirius." Sirius had been one of the people that would have helped me join the Order. Now he's gone.

Her lips thin. "Charlotte, it's honorable that you would want to be in the Order," McGonagall begins; I don't like the way she's saying this. It's like she's leading up to telling me I can't be in the Order, "but with you having to be around the Death Eaters and Voldemort, who is one of the most skilled Legilimens there has ever been, I'm not sure it would be safe for you."

"But I've become rather skilled at Occlumency!" I argue. "He would never know!"

"Charlotte –"

"No, professor!" I interrupt. "I've mastered it enough to keep my relationship with Fred and my relationship with Draco from him. I've mastered it enough to keep my friendship with you and Harry and Ron and Hermione all from him! I can do this! I want to join! I will not sit idle by why my friends risk themselves to take him down. I won't. So don't ask me to." I take a breath.

She doesn't reply.

"I thought you'd help me," I say quietly. "I thought…that after everything I've told you about what will happen to me…you would want to help me stop him. You would want me to be in the Order, to have a hand in doing something that might save me from him. I have less than a year, professor. And less than six months if all goes the way he plans." I meet her eyes again. "Please."

McGonagall nods at me.

* * *

***Important-ish note I spoke of before***

**So, I know I resolved the whole Mrs. Stoico mystery rather quickly, but that's because the way she died is not the important part. It's the backstory as to why she died that's important. And that'll come up later. If any of that makes sense...**

* * *

**So, what did you think of Mrs. Stoico's death? **

**What did you think of Charlotte's retaliation? Was it justified or overkill?**

**Do you think she should have told McGonagall?**

**Review!**


	45. Chapter 45

**Hi! I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! It was a bit of overkill, but I believe it was justified as well. I can't say what Avery it is, because that comes up later...**

**Holton23S: Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate you reading even if you don't review! They can't hide Charlotte because Dumbledore needs Voldemort to trust Snape completely. She's under Snape's protection, and if she just went missing, it would be blamed on Snape. Voldemort would lose all faith in himbecause of that, and it would mess with canon. But I can see how you would wonder that:)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! It was kind of a subconscious thing that made her a bit like Harry lol. I didn't notice it until I got farther into the story lol. She doesn't want to think too much of it being stopped because that would make it harder if it isn't. The pun wasn't intended lol. I wasn't really thinking when I said that...whoops haha. I thought a knife murder would be the most...traumatic and passionate**

**Weepingangel91011: Thanks for reviewing! Her first kill definitely helps define her a bit. I want her to confide in McGonagall because of things that happen later. She needs to have a close relationship with her. Oh, I can't tell you about the Mrs. Stoico thing just yet. It is explained later, but it leads to something after the school year...**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't review every day. I hope it doesn't seem tedious to read that many chapters lol. When I first start writing this, I thought about updating only once a week, but it would take over a year to finish if I did that...it would take nearly two. And I didn't want it to take that long :)**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I've been planning Mrs. Stoico's death for a while, like how it happened and all. I wanted it to be hard for Charlotte to look back on. Can I just say that when I read "cray cray" I stopped what I was doing and laughed for a solid two minutes. I say that to annoy my friends and when I read it, it was amazing. I couldn't focus on anything. Thanks for the laugh:)**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte has definitely been through the ringer. Poor girl... She went to McGonagall because it's important that they have a good relationship later on.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 45**

I walk into the Great Hall. The other students should be arriving within the hour. The four tables are all set out like normal, but I don't find myself walking to the Slytherin table. I find myself walking toward the staff table. Something is drawing me to it. My hand runs along it when I get close enough. Then I go around the back of it and sit down in the headmaster's throne-like chair. With no warning, guilt washes over me. Why am I sitting here? This is Dumbledore's chair. But I don't want to move. From his seat, it's easy to see the entire Great Hall. There is a sense of power and authority here. No wonder Umbridge wanted it so badly.

"Enjoying yourself?" a voice asks me.

I jump and turn, expecting to see Snape, but it is Dumbledore who is walking toward me. "I'm sorry, professor," I say quickly as I vacate his seat as fast as I can. How could I let this happen?

"It's quite all right," he says pleasantly. "I've been meaning to speak with you."

"What about?" I reply.

Dumbledore sits in the headmaster's chair and motions for me to sit in the one McGonagall sits in during the meals. I obey. "I hear you want to join the Order of the Phoenix," he says.

"Yes, sir," I answer quietly. It's more intimidating talking to Dumbledore about this than it is with Snape or McGonagall.

"Professor Snape tells me that he has been teaching you Occlumency," the headmaster continues. "He said that you're quite a natural at it."

"Did he really?" my voice is full of skepticism that I am unable to keep out of it.

"Indeed," Dumbledore replies. "You've been working on it for most of the summer holidays, and he said that you've kept him out of your mind on many occasions."

I smile. I was dreading this for no reason. "Yes, professor, it took me a while, but I've gotten the hang of it," I say.

Dumbledore smiles back. "But Voldemort is a much more accomplished Legilimens than Professor Snape, Charlotte," he says sadly, "and I don't know if you're prepared for the difficulty that will come with the Order if you must use Occlumency against him. It will be much different than applying it against Professor Snape."

I look away from him. "So it's a 'no' to joining the Order then?" I ask him.

"I never said that," Dumbledore answers. My eyes dart back to him. "You come of age in November, I believe." I nod. "Then you should continue your Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape until then. At that time, we will determine if you are prepared to apply Occlumency against Voldemort."

"Do you think I'll stand a chance of joining the Order?" I whisper.

"Professor Snape is the greatest Occlumens I know. If anyone can prepare you, it is he," Dumbledore says.

I pause for a second. "Pardon my frankness, professor, but if Snape –"

"Professor Snape," he says kindly.

"If he's the greatest Occlumens you know, how…how can you trust him?"

Dumbledore looks at me over his half-moon spectacles. "Many people have asked me that very question," he says. "But I trust Severus Snape with my life." He doesn't go any farther, so I assume that's his final word on the subject.

I glance at his hand, noticing for the first time that it looks burnt and dead. "What happened to your hand?" I ask him.

Dumbledore looks down at it as if just realizing it looked like that. "Nothing to worry about, I assure you." His head turns to the door like someone is calling him, but there is no sound. "The others will be here shortly." With that, he stands and walks away.

I, too, leave the staff table, but rather than leave the Great Hall, I go sit down at the Slytherin table.

The teachers soon arrive and take their seats, and the students begin coming in not too long after that. As suspected, Draco walks in with Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy, looking rather smug. They don't sit near me, which is fine with me. Though I dread speaking with him now, I'm beginning to miss the conversations and the friendship that we once had. Even if we can't date, I partly wish we could have actually stayed friends. That was a long shot, though; it always had been.

I watch the door. I can't help but wonder how my relationship with the Golden Trio will be like this year. If Fred has told them anything, they'll probably hate me. And I can see Ron hating me either way since Fred and I are no longer together. I guess it all comes down to how Fred portrayed our break-up. As if on cue, two of the three walk into the Great Hall. Where is Harry? Hermione meets my eye. She smiles at me. Maybe I was worried about their treatment of me for no reason.

Minutes later, a line of first-years make their way through the aisles. It's time for the Sorting. McGonagall carries a stool and that evil little Hat that put me Slytherin rather than any of the other Houses. Harry has still not arrived. I look up at the staff table. Hagrid is not here, either. If I had to make a guess, it would be that Harry is with Hagrid. I clap halfheartedly when a poor little kid is put into Slytherin.

My gaze lands on Snape. His head is turned like he's trying to subtly listen to something behind him. He looks back and sees me watching him. Giving me a rather rude look, he gets up and leaves the Great Hall. No one else really seems to notice this, but I do. And I'm left curious and without anyone to speculate theories with. Had I been in the Gryffindor House, I'd be talking to Ron and Hermione, possibly Ginny, about it. But no. I'm in Slytherin, the only friend I've had in the House currently working for Voldemort and not speaking with me.

So instead of engaging in some cogitative explanation for why Snape left, I eat my meal in silence. That is, until the doors open again. Snape stands beside Harry, who is wearing Muggle clothes and looking utterly mortified. The two of them quickly separate, Harry to the Gryffindor table, Snape to the staff table. It seems that Snape is making it a point not to meet my eyes. He's the only one who could explain to me why he went and fetched Harry, but I doubt he'll do so.

After the feast is over, Dumbledore takes the stand. Murmurs sweep across the room. The man seems to know that all of the sound has been aroused by his hand. "Nothing to worry about," he says to them, much like he said to me roughly an hour ago. "Now…to our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you…"

I look back at Snape. I wonder if he knows what happened to Dumbledore. If he does, I'm sure he won't tell me that either. All this curiosity is really frustrating when I have no one to talk to about it and no one to give me answers.

I look back to Dumbledore. He's still speaking, "Mr. Filch, our caretaker, has asked me to say that there is a blanket ban on any joke items bought at the shop called Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes." Fred and George would be so proud.

"Those wishing to play for their House Quidditch teams should give their names to their Heads of Houses as usual. We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators, who should do likewise." I had forgotten the Lee Jordan was finished with his Hogwarts schooling.

"We are pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year," Dumbledore continues. "Professor Slughorn," a bald man with a large belly secured in a waistcoat stands up, "is a former colleague of mine who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master."

The word "potions" echoes throughout the room.

"Professor Snape, meanwhile," Dumbledore raises his voice over the students, "will be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"No!" I hear Harry's voice float through the room.

Snape waves his hand lazily to acknowledge the shouts coming from the rest of the Slytherin table. Had he not told me already and had I not spent the holidays at his house, I believe I would be just as shocked and frustrated as all the other Houses are. Snape has the same look of triumph on his face that he had shown me when he announced his new post. Everyone down the Slytherin table chats excitedly about Snape achieving what he's desired for so many years while the other tables chat rather rudely about Snape achieving his goal. I'm rather neutral honestly. My happiness for him has worn off by now.

Dumbledore clears his throat. "Now," he says when the rest of the students quiet down, "as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are once more at large and gaining in strength." I don't want to think about this. I try finding Draco, but he's paying no attention to the headmaster. He's levitating his fork. Although I don't want to hear about Voldemort, I am at least showing Dumbledore the respect he deserves. Draco is prick, as I am realizing. But still, his life hangs in the balance this year. Perhaps he has the right to act nonchalant about it all, seeing that he's met Voldemort.

I only half listen as Dumbledore explains how we must all realize how dangerous the situation is (I don't know who wouldn't already know that). He assures us that the fortifications around the castle are stronger than they have ever been. Draco almost drops his fork at this information. Dumbledore tells us that we must obey all the rules put forth by the teachers, no matter how "irksome" we find them, one of the most important being that no one is allowed out of bed after hours.

"But now, your beds await, as warm and comfortable as you could possibly wish, and I know that your top priority is to be well-rested for your lessons tomorrow. Let us therefore say good night. Pip pip!" he finishes.

The usual deafening noise erupts when all of the students stand to leave the Great Hall and go to their dorms. I follow Draco and his disciples, far enough to be inconspicuous while close enough to hear what he's saying. He inadvertently answers my question as to why Snape had left the Great Hall and returned with Harry. Apparently Harry, having been equally stupid and brave, had gone to Draco's compartment with is Invisibility Cloak to eavesdrop. When everyone else had left, Draco went back, froze Harry, broke his nose, covered him with his Cloak, and left him there. That still leaves me wondering how Snape found out and why Snape would care enough to go get him. Something tells me that whatever Snape had been listening to was the answer. But that isn't really much of an answer.

I don't stick around in the common room. I'm not in the mood to deal with people.

* * *

The next morning, I'm one of the first of the Slytherins in the Great Hall for breakfast. This doesn't bother me much. In fact, if gives me a chance to claim a seat where no one is likely to sit.

Oh, how wrong I am. The first person to come up and sit across from me is none other than Draco Malfoy. "Charlotte," he says in greeting.

"Draco," I reply in the same tone.

I am still looking down at my food. He clears his throat. I don't make eye contact. "So…" he finally says. "How were you holidays?"

This question gets my attention, and I meet his eyes. "Are you really over here to ask me how my holidays were?" I reply. "That's so unlike you." He must want to know where I was. Voldemort had expressly forbidden anyone beyond himself, Narcissa, Snape, and Bellatrix knowing where I was. Draco should learn to keep to himself. It's safer for him that way.

His face drops. "No, I'm not here to talk about that," he replies sadly. "I…I never wanted us to wind up hating each other, Charlotte. I really didn't. You've got to listen to me. Bad things are going to happen this year. I want you to secure where your allegiances lie – I know you struggle with that – or things might just end badly for you."

"I assure you, Draco," I say as I stand and grab my things, "I'm going to be just fine. I have friends in high places."

My blond-headed cousin jumps to his feet and takes hold of my arm. "Listen," he pleads, "I'm worried about you."

"Don't be." I jerk my arm free from him.

He whispers desperately to me, "Never refer to the Dark Lord as your friend, Charlotte. You don't know what he's truly capable of."

"He's not the friend I was speaking of," I say darkly, "but I certainly do know what he's capable of. Make no mistake about _that._"

Again, I try to storm off, but Draco grabs me. "You realize you can't leave," he says with a hint of mockery in his voice. "Schedules are still in the process of being made for each of the students. You're stuck with me for at least another half-hour." He smirks. "Now, why don't you sit back down so we can talk like civil people?"

I scoff at him and lean in close to whisper, "I'm not going to be associated with anyone who willingly serves Voldemort."

Draco's eyes darken. "Then you're in for a rough surprise, Charlotte," he replies. "There are more followers of the Dark Lord here at Hogwarts than you might think." Does he really think that I don't know Snape is a Death Eater? And does he not suspect that Snape might be against Voldemort? Come to think of it, does anyone suspect Snape of actually being good? Most people just assume he's bad. No one really assumes he's good. Draco must believe my silence is me trying to piece together who might be a follower of Voldemort, for he smiles wickedly. "Have you spoken to your mother recently?"

This actually catches me off-guard. "What?" I ask.

"You know bloody well what," he hisses. "Bellatrix disappeared for almost an hour a few weeks ago, when you arrived here for the start of the term."

"Are you accusing your dear aunt of something?" I reply.

"If you –" he stops. "If you've found a way to get them into the castle –"

"Them?" I interrupt. "Whatever do you mean?"

"You know what I mean!" he snarls. "If you've gotten her into the castle, you'd better save us both some trouble and just tell me how. You will not take the honor that's due to me. Do I make myself plain?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," and this time, I'm being genuinely honest. I don't understand what honor he's speaking of or why he needs to know if Bellatrix was inside the castle.

Draco's lip curls. "I have to do this to restore the Malfoy name," he growls. "If you find a way to k –" But he has to stop talking, because in that moment some of the other Slytherins begin arriving to the tables. What is Draco planning on doing? Without having my question answered, I move away from him to a place farther down the table, where I await my schedule from Snape.

The professor makes his way down the table, taking much more time than he did last year, probably because each student must be cleared according to their O.W.L. grades. I see no point in Snape talking to me about my grades, considering we did so over the holidays, but he stops in front of me nonetheless. With few words passed between us, Snape hands me a newly filled-in copy of my schedule. I'm taking Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, and Arithmancy.

For now, I have a free period, the first of many that I will have today. And I believe I know the perfect way to spend it. I go to the beech tree out by the Black Lake and begin writing two letters.

One is to Fred. I feel the need to apologize for everything. I need closure between the two of us, and since I didn't go speak to him that day I was in Diagon Alley, I lost my one chance to get this closure in person. I doubt he'll even reply, but at least I'll know that I can put him behind me. I add this new letter to the one I wrote him when I had resolved to be killed by Voldemort, the one Snape refused to deliver, and I set it aside so I can write the other.

This one is to Bellatrix. I'm very confused on the subject of my mother. She so often seems to hate me, yet she all but abducts me to tell me that I have to be careful, that she wants me to stay safe. I had hoped to keep my relationship with her a rather cold one. It would have made everything much easier. But now…now I don't know what to do. If I can't keep Bellatrix and arm's length, who's to say I will be able to keep Voldemort at arm's length? If I become closer to Bellatrix, is there any way I will be able resist Voldemort? Bellatrix is the most willing and ruthless follower he has. I find myself becoming more and more like her. Is there any way I can keep my resolve to stay against Voldemort?

* * *

**Do you think Draco will ever tell her what's going on?**

**Do you think she'll actually be able to join the Order?**

**Do you think she'll get a response from Fred? From Bellatrix?**

**Review!**


	46. Chapter 46

**Hi! Thanks for reading up to this point. It means so much to me!**

* * *

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I can't tell you who she gets return letters from, but I think most of the readers halfway expect it...maybe...**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! You're right, he did refuse to tell Snape in the books. I'm trying to decide if it should be different with Charlotte since they're relationship is different than his with Snape. I guess I'll choose the one that makes more sense in the circumstances... She definitely has to improve Occlumency. We'll have to wait and see if she joins... We'll also have to wait and see who sends back... :)**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! Why don't you think they'll let her join?**

**Weepingangels91011: Thanks for reviewing! She has a lot of improving to do if she wants to join the Order. I can't say if she gets a response from Fred. There's too much riding on that for me to answer lol. If Bellatrix replies, it certainly won't be a simple letter. I agree, she's far too dramatic for that. I love the way you described the mother/daughter relationship. It was awesome, and it totally fits:)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Draco assumes, since she's Voldemort's Chosen One, that she knows what he's planning. This will definitely lead to issues... The response(s) or no response(s) will be brought up later.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks for reading the chapters:) Draco will cause some issues, because he does believe she knows. And you're right, things hardly ever work out fine and dandy. Maybe they will...then again, maybe they won't...**

**Squirt: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you read it until it's finished! **

* * *

**CHAPTER 46**

I sit there by the lake until my first class approaches: Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'm rather nervous about it. There's no way to know if Snape is going to be a ruthless teacher or not. But, he was agreeable over the holidays. Either way though, hell would freeze over before he showed favoritism or kindness toward me, so my only hope is that he will at least be neutral toward me during the lessons.

When time for class to start approaches, I head back to the castle where I wait outside the classroom with the rest of the students. While doing so, I hear Hermione exclaim to Ron and Harry, "We got so much homework for Runes, a fifteen-inch essay, two translations, and I've got to read these by Wednesday!" My decision to drop the Study of Ancient Runes turned out to be a rather brilliant one.

Snape opens the door. "Inside," he commands. Curtains are drawn over the windows, forcing candles to light the room. It favors his potion room at Spinner's End with the exception of the pictures adorning the walls; each of them depicts horrid and gruesome deaths caused by the Dark Arts. The room is much gloomier than it had been with Umbridge, but my spirits are still high, much higher than the room should really allow. I'm not dreading this class, contrary to the other students who have no subtlety in hiding these feelings.

"I have not asked you to take out your books," Snape says from the back of the classroom as he makes his way to the front. I see Hermione quickly hide hers. "I wish to speak to you, and I want your fullest attention." He scans the room with his black eyes. Had I not been taught by him over the holidays, I believe I would hate him just as much as Harry seems to. "You have had five teachers in this subject so far, I believe." I've only had one, and no matter what anyone says, Snape is a step up from her.

"Naturally, these teachers will all have had their own methods and priorities. Given this confusion I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L. in this subject. I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work, which will be much more advanced."

Snape moves to the edge of the room. He's relatively close to me, so I don't have to strain to hear, which many of the others are doing. "The Dark Arts," he says softly, "are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before," this analogy does not make me feel any better about defying Voldemort, the greatest Dark Wizard of all time. "You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible." If Snape doesn't watch himself, people are going to believe that he loves the Dark Arts. His voice indicates a strong respect, which I have learned to differentiate from his loving voice (I heard it only once, during one of my Occlumency lessons when I deflected his spell and accidentally saw into his memories; he had been speaking to red-haired girl. Unfortunately, I never saw her face; I would love to know what kind of person can bring that tone out of Professor Snape).

"Your defenses," Snape continues, slightly louder now, "must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo. These pictures" – he indicates a few that make me shudder – "give a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance, the Cruciatus Curse." I'd say it captures the essence of a person in agony, but it certainly doesn't begin to explain the pain that comes from that particular curse. He also shows us pictures of the Dementor's Kiss and an attack from the Inferius.

"Has an Inferius been seen then," a girl asks. "Is it definite, is he using them?"

There are a lot of things that Voldemort uses, and I don't want to think about him using the undead. "The Dark Lord has used Inferi in the past," the professor replies, "which means you would be well-advised to assume he might use them again. Now," he makes his way to his desk, his robes billowing behind him, "you are, I believe, complete novices in the use of nonverbal spells. What is the advantage of a nonverbal spell?" I feel like I'm back in his basement-dungeon again.

Hermione's hand shoots into the air. His eyes sweep over the classroom. I meet his gaze and can tell that he wants someone else to answer besides Hermione. He knows I know the answer, and his eyes rest on mine for a second. I don't raise my hand. Finally, he curtly says, "Very well – Miss Granger?"

"Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you're about to perform," she answers, "which gives you a split-second advantage."

When Snape comments on how her answer is almost copied from a book about spells, Draco sniggers. This bothers me more than his usual mockery of Hermione. "Yes, those who progress to using magic without shouting incantations gain an element of surprise in their spell-casting. Not all wizards can do this, of course; it is a question of concentration and mind power which some –" his eyes linger somewhere behind me. I assume he's watching Harry – "lack."

I can't stop the pride that surges in me. I know Snape was clandestinely attacking Harry, but it still makes me feel really good about my ability to do nonverbal spells.

"You will now divide into pairs. One partner will attempt to jinx the other _without speaking_. The other will attempt to repel the jinx _in equal silence_. Carry on."

As I walk past Snape's desk, I hear him murmur to me, "The holiday lessons never happened. You are as novice as the rest." I nod without looking at him. I have to act just as if I never learned all of this in the first place.

I am paired with Dean Thomas. He struggles as I had when I first started. I'm prepared, of course, just in case he happens to be able to perform it, but I doubt it will happen.

"Pathetic, Weasley," I hear Snape say a short while later. I turn to see him glaring at Ron and Harry. "Here – let me show you –"

He turns his wand on Harry, but the boy shouts, "_Protego!"_

Snape is knocked off-balance and is rammed into a desk. "Do you remember me telling you we are practicing _nonverbal _spells, Potter?"

"Yes," Harry answers.

"Yes, _sir_," Snape corrects.

"There's no need to call me 'sir,' professor."

Everything and everyone silence immediately. If Snape wasn't a professor, I'm sure he would attack Harry. But he _is_ a professor, so he punishes the way a professor does, "Detention, Saturday night, my office. I do not take cheek from anyone, Potter…not even _'the Chosen One.'_"

I glance at Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, who are smiling proudly at Harry.

Later that day, I find Harry speaking with Ron and Hermione, as usual. Hermione seems rather upset with Harry, probably over what happened in Defense class. Someone hands him a parchment, and he is finishing up reading it when I finally reach them. Harry immediately asks, "Are you still sure that Snape isn't a Death Eater? Has _nothing_ changed? Did you see him at the meetings over the holidays? Has Voldemort mentioned his name?"

I gape. I had not been expecting any kind of interrogations. "I…" I'm so caught off guard that I can't find any words.

"What about Malfoy?" he asks next. Why is he bombarding me with questions? "What is he doing for Voldemort? Do you know? What's he planning? I need to know!"

I stare at him for a second while all of his questions process in my mind. "Um…no, Snape is not a Death Eater…" a lot has changed, so I can't really answer that question without lying. "He was in none of the meetings," though neither was I so I can't be sure about that. I ignore the question of Voldemort mentioning his name. "I don't know about Draco. If he's doing something, I would like to know as well."

This isn't the answer Harry wanted. "Let me know if something changes," he commands. Then he leaves with Ron and Hermione, who seem as equally confused about Harry's string of questions as I am. I don't follow them. They're going to Potions, I believe, and I didn't take that class this year. I saw no reason in it, since I won't need it.

Instead, I go to Snape's office and knock on the door. "Enter," he says. He stares at me for a second. "Ah…the headmaster said you would be coming by."

"For the Occlumency lessons," I reply, "without which I will not be able to join the Order."

"And why would I, as a Death Eater, want you to be part of the Order, which is designed to destroy the Dark Lord?" he says.

I sigh. "Seriously though, professor, can we drop that lie? I know the truth. I spoke with Dumbledore about it. You would not have gone to him about our lessons had you not been in the Order."

He clenches his teeth. "Very well, then," he answers. "What is your class schedule? Perhaps we can squeeze more than one lesson in per day."

I pause. What about all of the studying I will have to do? Does he not realize that I have to pass my classes? "Mondays and Wednesdays I have a free period, Defense Against the Dark Arts with you, a free period, lunch, Arithmancy, then I'm free for the rest of the day. Tuesdays and Fridays I have a free period, Transfiguration, a free period, lunch, Charms, then nothing. I have nothing on Thursdays."

"Why are you no longer in Potions?" Snape asks me.

I laugh, but he doesn't. "You're serious?" He doesn't reply. "I hated Potions, no offense to you, professor. I don't have the skill or the passion about it…" I smile. "Besides, I figure that if I need to make a potion, I could come to you for help."

"Don't," he replies.

"Then I'll find someone else," I say quickly.

He nods. "We'll start and end each day with your lessons," he says.

It only takes a second to realize what this means. "Do you find some kind of twisted joy in not letting me sleep, professor?" I ask him. "It's bad enough that you woke me up at the crack of dawn over the holidays, but now you're doing so during school as well?"

Smirking, he says, "Do you find some kind of twisted joy in invading my life not only during the school year but during the holidays as well?"

I groan. "Point taken," I mutter. Snape goes back to writing something on his desk, expecting me to leave after that. But I don't. I go and sit down in the seat in front of him. He looks up. "I…I need to…to ask you something, professor."

He sets the quill down. "All right," he replies.

I look into his black eyes. I don't want any lies. I want the truth. "How…how do face…Vol – the Dark Lord – knowing that you must conceal the truth? Knowing that if he found out that you're truly Dumbledore's man he would kill you? Knowing that each time you are called to him could be the last thing you ever do?"

Snape leans forward in his chair but doesn't remove his eyes from mine. If I didn't know what it was like, I would say he was reading my mind. But I've experienced that, and I know this cannot be the case. "Not without difficulty," comes his soft, slow answer, "but there are some things in this life that are more important than worrying about personal danger."

"Such as?" I ask in the same slow and quiet tone he's speaking in.

The professor leans back in his seat. He swallows. "There are some things, Charlotte, that are not wise to ask." He looks away from me. "That is one of them."

We're silent for a moment. "Forgive me, professor," I whisper. "I didn't mean anything by it…"

He nods, which I take as an acceptance of my apology. Though he is not looking at me, I can't tear my eyes away from his. He has that same gaze that he had when I confided in him over my pain of Draco last Christmas. I feel as if I'm invading his privacy, like I'm peering into a side of Severus Snape that I'm not supposed to see. He jerks back to the present. "Is that it, then?" he asks.

"Yes, sir," I answer while I stand. I make my way to the door.

"Miss Rodgers," the professor says. I turn around. He seems to be debating something. Finally he continues, "If you do, in fact, find yourself in desperate need of a potion, you may come to my office, and I will do my best to assist you."

I smile. "Thank you, sir." I open the door.

"First period tomorrow, Rodgers," he calls in his typically cold voice. "Don't forget."

"Yes, professor." I close the door and go to the crowded Slytherin common room. I don't have to practice my nonverbal spells, as most other sixth-years do, but apparently it's an important part of a sixth-year's education here at Hogwarts. Nonverbal spells must be vital to the real world, or so that's what people believe. I think I've done pretty well for myself without having known them. But they are definitely an advantage.

For entertainment, I sit in the common room and throw spells (none that are painful or deadly, of course) at some of the younger students. I do this for nearly half an hour until I realize there's one first-year boy who could use some cheering up. So, while he is sitting by the fire, I hit a little girl with the Babbling Curse. She walks up to him and starts going on and on about nothing. For a moment, it looks like this little boy is about to hex her; maybe I shouldn't have sent her over to him to engage him in a conversation. Instead of hexing her, he silences her. So she stands there, talking continuously without actually making any sound.

I smirk and have to look away. I have to give it a minute, if not it will be too obvious that I'm the one disrupting everyone's peace. I start writing on my piece of parchment. A tap on my shoulder brings my attention away from my fake essay. The boy from the fire takes a seat next to me. His black hair covers his ears and falls over his bright blue eyes, but it's groomed perfectly. There's not a single piece out of place. "Hi," I say tentatively. He doesn't say anything. I offer him my hand. "I'm Charlotte Rodgers."

He doesn't accept my hand. "Well, Charlotte Rodgers," he says more tactfully than I would have thought possible for someone so young, "I would appreciate it if you could take the Babbling Curse off that poor girl by the fire." He points back to my latest victim. Sure enough, she is trying desperately to get someone to help her, but none of the Slytherins in the room are above their fourth year here at Hogwarts, so none of them know what to do.

"I don't hear any babbling," I reply smoothly.

"Because I silenced her," he says flatly.

I pause for a moment. "And how is that a first-year such as yourself managed to silence her?"

He smiles. I thought he was adorable before, but now he's more precious than any other student I can think of. He has straight white teeth, but that's not what makes him so cute. He has dimples when he smiles at me, which gives him an aspect of pure innocence. This kid will one day be a heartbreaker of many young girls. "I have three younger sisters," he laughs. "My father taught me to silence them many years ago, when all they wanted to do was annoy me." He stops laughing. "Wait!" he says quickly. "My dad's not a bad guy. I realize how that could have sounded. But it's not like we use it as punishment or anything!"

"It didn't sound like that," I tell him. "Who are you?"

He offers me his hand this time. "I'm Christopher Collins."

I accept his handshake. "Well, Christopher Collins," I say in the same voice he used when he first began speaking with me, "how do you know I put the Babbling Curse on that poor girl?"

"I saw you flick your wand," he answers.

"But I didn't say anything," I argue. Why I'm fighting with an eleven-year-old when I know perfectly well that he's right, I'll probably never know.

He thinks for a moment. "You're right, but I heard that nonverbal spells are taught to sixth-years. You're a sixth-year, right? You have classes with Draco Malfoy."

"I've only had one class where nonverbal spells were practiced," I inform him.

"That means virtually nothing," he says firmly.

I sigh. "All right then, I admit it. Everything that's been going on has been me. You caught me. You can rat me out if you'd like."

He laughs again. "I don't want to do that! I wouldn't have said anything had that girl not started talking to _me._ I don't care how many others you mess with. In fact, it was rather entertaining. I wouldn't mind if you continued. I just feel sorry for her." We both look back over at the girl. She's on the brink of tears.

"I guess it has gone on long enough, hasn't it?" I reply dejectedly. He nods. I remove the curse from her. She runs from the room. I look back at Christopher. "Now you've gone and made me feel bad…"

He pats my arm sarcastically. "It'll be okay, Charlotte. Your conscience is growing. That's good. Let it happen."

I smile at him. "Shut up."

His brow furrows. "Could you teach me some nonverbal spells?" he asks.

"It's more difficult than it looks."

"You learned it one lesson, so it can't be too hard," he replies.

"It took me the entire holidays to learn it, actually," I say.

"You actually practice over the holidays? You don't seem like that type of student," he says.

I smile at his bluntness. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs. "I don't know." Christopher pauses again. "What classes are you in?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, and Arithmancy," I answer.

"N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration with McGonagall?"

I nod. "Is there another Transfiguration professor?"

"I guess you're right." He stands up and pushes the chair back into place. "I'll be expecting to meet you by the Black Lake every Saturday so you can tutor me in Transfiguration." He starts walking off.

"Wait, what?" I call after him.

He spins around. "Did I stutter?" I gape at him. This kid is _actually_ trying to order me around. "I need good grades. You're a sixth-year. You should be willing to help out younger students." He quickly retreats to his dormitory, leaving me standing there without another word. Have I _actually_ just been bested by a first-year?

* * *

**Christopher Collins is an original characters, as much as I hate to keep adding characters to the story. There will be three others added in this school year, but they all have a purpose in Charlotte's life later on, so it's not like I'm adding them for no reason. Forgive me. I usually dislike people adding in a whole bunch of their own people, but it's necessary...**

**That being said, Do you think Charlotte will ever get around to telling the Golden Trio the truth...the whole truth?**

**So what do you think of Christopher? **

**Review!**


	47. Chapter 47

**The three more original characters I mentioned before are introduced in this chapter. They'll seem rather pointless for a while, but I promise that they have a purpose.**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it'd be good to use new first-years rather than some of the characters we know nothing about. That, and I wanted him to be new to the whole Hogwarts scene:) I use the books to make sure I keep everything in chronological order, and he's definitely obsessed with finding out what Draco is doing. I don't think she could find out that Draco plans on killing Dumbledore and tell Harry without Harry freaking over the whole thing, you know? But I think I will have her helping him find out... Thanks for the suggestion:)**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! He definitely is, but I kinda like him:) She'll have to tell them at some point, and I already have that point planned out, but it might be a while. I don't really know how far away that moment is. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Squirt: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say how it's gonna turn out...I hope I don't make you cry...but it might happen...**

**Weepingangels91011: Thanks for reviewing! When she tells them (because it will happen eventually), it takes place in an absolutely essential time. Because you're right, she wouldn't just go around telling them without a reason. She's not like that, unless it's McGonagall; then she's like that. Now that you mention it, Christopher kind of is like Tom Riddle...I hadn't made that connection... You would ship him Charlotte? But she's like six years older than him! I guess years down the road it wouldn't matter much...she'll just have to find a way to survive that long lol. He's not a HUGE part yet, but he will be:) And I don't want to spoil if he's truly good or bad just yet**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! She'll wait as long as possible before telling them. Isn't he just a perfect Slytherin? haha**

**Flamewings09: Thanks for reviewing! Bellatrix has to have some kind of love for her daughter still:) And thanks, I love hearing that people like my writing!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I like Christopher too:) I can't wait for his role to unfold a bit more!**

**Atala444: Thanks for the follow, the favorite, and the review! They're not pointless, but they're not important until later in the story. I just wanted to go ahead and introduce them so I can give them a good foundation before they're importance comes. I've got lots in mind for Charlotte and Bellatrix. It's okay that you haven't reviewed before, but I'm really excited you reviewed now:) I love reviews. They help me know what to change and what not to change. I like the readers' opinions:) I've not had anyone describe my story as "epic" before...thanks! That makes me really happy! And it's good to know that you'll be reading it until the end!**

* * *

**So, this is definitely the most reviews I've had on a single chapter. You guys are awesome! Thanks so much!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 47**

When lunch rolls around, I can't help but think to myself, _Screw the system_. I'm making my way to the Gryffindor table, where I fully intend on sitting for lunch so I can speak with Harry when someone shouts my name, and though I know I shouldn't, I look over. Christopher Collins is waving me to him. I sigh. I would be seen as a pompous jerk if I ignored him. Crestfallen about my failed plan, I walk toward the boy.

"Charlotte," he says when I take a seat across from him, "for a moment there, I thought you were going to ignore me."

"Why would I do that?" I ask sarcastically.

"Were you going to speak with Harry Potter?" he replies. "Do you know him?"

I look over my shoulder. "Somewhat," I say. "I know the three of them: Ron, Hermione, and Harry. But I wouldn't consider them close. Why?"

"I wanted to meet him," Christopher says excitedly. "He's the Chosen One."

Now it makes sense. That's why the kid is trying to get me to tutor him. He wants to meet Harry. "I'm afraid I'm not the one who would be able to introduce you. I don't know them that well, honestly."

"That's a shame," his voice is quiet. I start to get up. "Where are you going?"

I reply slowly, "I don't know."

"Some of my friends are coming," the boy answers. "Let me introduce you to them." Why does he believe I want to meet other first-years? I'm rather busy at the moment. I don't want to have to deal with little people. But his big blue eyes force me to sit down. Three more little children come up to me. "This is Emma Greene," a first-year girl with brown eyes and frizzy blond hair waves awkwardly at me, "and Julia Mitchells," a redheaded, gray-eyed girl glances at me nervously before averting her eyes to her feet, "and Jacob Butler," another first-year boy, this one with brown hair and caramel eyes, smiles at me.

"Hi," I say. "I'm Charlotte Rodgers."

The boy called Jacob speaks up, "Are you the one who'll be tutoring us in Transfiguration?"

My mouth falls open. My eyes dart to Christopher. He answers, "I hope you don't mind a few more for our lessons."

I blink at him. "I never even agreed to tutor _you!"_ I say.

"Sure you did," Christopher replies. "Remember, like an hour ago, I said something about it, and you didn't say no."

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN –" I take a breath and lower my voice, "That doesn't mean I agreed. You walked off before I could answer."

"Oh," he says quietly. He looks at his friends. "I'm sorry, guys…"

"But Christopher told us that you were different than the others!" Emma says to me. "He told us that you were cool, that you wouldn't mind helping us! None of the N.E.W.T. level students will even listen to us!"

I groan. I can't deal with these children. I've enough on my plate at the moment, what with Voldemort's plan for me approaching and my Occlumency lessons and my N.E.W.T. level classes.

"Please," Emma whispers, "we need help. None of us are any good at Transfiguration."

"Why don't you go to McGonagall?" I ask them. "She's the teacher. And I'm positive she wouldn't mind helping you."

Christopher's face becomes serious. "Do you really think the other Slytherins would appreciate us going to the Head of Gryffindor House for help?"

I sigh. "Does it really matter what the Slytherins think?"

"Yes," Emma answers. "We've got seven more years here at Hogwarts," I don't have the heart to tell her that with Voldemort gaining power that might not be entirely true, "and we'll be the ones who have to deal with all of them for the remainder of our schooling."

I glance at Julia. Her eyes are down. Then I look back to the other three. "What makes you think I'm any different than the other Slytherins? I mean – come on, Christopher – the first time you ever spoke to me was when I was hitting unsuspecting young students with spells for my own entertainment. Does that sound like the personality of someone who wants to help four first-years with their studies?"

"It sounds like someone who has too much time on their hands to me," Jacob says bluntly.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and huff. Quickly, I pull my hand away and look at it like it's a foreign object. Snape does that same thing when he's frustrated with _me_. This must be what he feels like when _I_ annoy _him_. If that's true, I've got some serious apologizing to do. "I…there's a lot going on in my life…I don't think –"

"A lot in your life?" Jacob asks coldly. "Like what? Hitting innocent people with jinxes for your own, personal entertainment?"

My eyes flare at him. "Jacob!" Christopher exclaims angrily.

"What? I'm just calling it like it is," he says.

I glance at Christopher then lean forward so I'm looking Jacob straight in the face. He doesn't back down. "Let me tell you something, Jacob," I say menacingly, "there are things that I've faced in this life that would make your skin crawl. There are things that I must face that would send you running to your precious mum. There are things that I have done and that I have seen that would drive you to St. Mungo's for the rest of your life. My life has been on course of tragedy since I was younger than you are now." I shift away from him. His eyes remain on mine. "So, if you'll please excuse me for trying to add a bit of joy to my life."

All of the four first-years are silent for a few minutes. I swing my eyes between each of theirs. Only the little girl named Julia does not look at me. "Let's go," Jacob says fiercely, "she's no better than the rest. She's arrogant and full of herself, just like the other filthy sixth-years. They think too highly of themselves to help the likes of us, never mind the fact that they were once in our shoes."

"Jacob, wait!" Christopher calls after his friend. The other boy stops. Christopher then looks at me. "He didn't mean it, Charlotte. We really do need your help. Please forgive him. Please help us."

I close my eyes. I can't. They'll never understand, and even if they would understand, I can't tell them. I'm about to say as much when a small voice says, "He didn't mean it, Miss Rodgers." My eyes jerk open without my full consent. Julia is speaking for the first time. "Please help us." Her gray eyes are wide and watering.

"Fine," I grumble. "Every Saturday after lunch, down by the lake." I would have denied helping them had it not been for that little shy girl, the one who was brave enough to ask forgiveness on behalf of her friend. I meet her eyes. "Call me 'Charlotte,' not 'Miss Rodgers.' I'm not really that old…"

She smiles nervously at me. The four of them all wander off. I push my plate aside and slam my head into the table. Curse those stupid kids… I can't deal with this. I shake my head. Why did I agree to this? Is there really a need to ask? They remind me of some of those poor children in the orphanage, the ones who were scared of going to Mrs. Stoico for help, the ones who came to me for help even though I was not more than a year older than they.

After a minute or so of beating myself of for accepting this new challenge, I stand up to leave the Great Hall. I look up at the staff table. Both Snape and McGonagall are watching me, no doubt because they saw me being cornered by first-years. Just great…I was rather hoping this would remain quiet.

I glance at the Gryffindor table. I've already made a scene for Snape and McGonagall once. Why not do it again? I walk over to the Golden Trio and sit down with them at the Gryffindor table. The three of them look just as confused as the two professors who have been watching me since my exchange with the first-years. "Charlotte?" Hermione asks.

"Hermione," I greet her.

"What do you want?" Ron asks, much ruder than he usually speaks to me. Fred probably portrayed our break-up in a terrible way.

I ignore Ron's tone. "I need to speak with Harry," I answer. Then I meet Harry's bright green eyes, "About Draco."

Harry immediately perks up. "Have you learned something?"

I shake my head. "Why do you think he's up to something?"

"I just know," he replies firmly.

"Harry –" Hermione tries.

"No, Hermione," he says abruptly. "I know what I saw."

"None of us know what we saw," she counters. "We can't be sure what he was doing."

"What happened?" I ask them.

"Why do you need to know?" Ron spits.

I don't look away from Harry. "I need to know."

"We don't need to tell you," Ron hisses.

"Hush, Ron," I say without looking away from Harry. "I need to know."

He pauses for a moment. "We saw him going into Borgin and Burkes –"

"Harry," Ron stops him. "How do you know we can trust her?"

The Boy Who Lived looks at his best mate. "Because she trusted us enough to know who she truly is," he answers. I don't like them talking about me as if I'm not right here, but I don't interrupt, "Because she trusted us enough to tell us Voldemort's plan for her to join the Death Eaters. And if she can trust us in that, we can trust her in this." His eyes meet mine. "Borgin and Burkes is a shop in Diagon Alley. It's known for its Dark magic type of merchandise. He needed Borgin's help with something. I don't know what it was, but he was desperate. Hermione went inside to find out what Draco had been up to, and Borgin became angry. We had to leave."

I think for a second. Draco had been adamant knowing if I had gotten Bellatrix into the castle. He must be trying to find a way to get them into Hogwarts – and by "them" I believe he wants to get the Death Eaters into the castle. But why would Voldemort want that? Snape – one of his most trusted followers – is still here.

"Do you know what he's doing?" Harry asks me quietly.

I shake my head. "No," I answer honestly. I have an idea, but I'm not sure about it. And I'm certainly not sure why more Death Eaters would need to be here. What did Bellatrix say to me? Something about someone dying this year… Has Voldemort decided to send his followers to attack Harry while he's at Hogwarts? What kind of a fool would do such a thing with Albus Dumbledore here? "But I do believe he's up to _something."_

Harry looks at Ron and Hermione. "You see!" he rejoices. "He is doing something!"

"Harry," Hermione says logically, "just because she _believes_ – no offense, Charlotte – that doesn't mean he's actually up to something."

"Look at the signs!" Harry replies. "Malfoy is a Death Eater! As is his father, right, Charlotte?"

"Draco a Death Eater?" I ask. "I doubt it. Voldemort only allows the top witches and wizards into his Inner Circle. I don't think Draco fits the bill…" But, is that true? Could Draco be a Death Eater? It does make sense that he would be, but I can't be sure. Snape said nothing about that. Harry turns away from me, obviously frustrated. I don't blame him. I find myself rather frustrated as well. I stand and leave the three of them there, glancing at the staff table to find Snape and McGonagall looking between me and each other. I leave the Great Hall.

* * *

Some hours later, after Arithmancy and dinner, I knock on Snape's office door. "Enter," he says. I do. When he sees me, he immediately says, "Are you going to volunteer the information about what transpired today at lunch, or am I going to be forced to pry it out of you?" I don't say anything. Why hadn't I expected him to ask me? "I guess your silence means the latter then."

"Professor, I don't think your Legilimency will break through my Occlumency, do you?" I answer.

"One would think," he says vaguely.

"I mean, I've gotten fairly good at it, yes?" I reply.

"Yes, but that was when you were fully conscious and aware of what was going on," he says. "Sit down."

I obey.

"Now," he continues, "the Dark Lord is capable of invading the mind while the body sleeps. You must not let him do this. You must keep him out of even your dreams."

"So you expect me to fall asleep on command? Just like that?" I ask.

He smirks. "I do not believe that is physically possible," he says softly. "That being said, I will put you into a bewitched sleep. You must keep me out of your thoughts while you are under the spell." I nod and close my eyes. "Ready?" I nod again. He casts the spell at me.

_I am walking toward Hogwarts from Hogsmeade. Bellatrix Apparates behind me. I ignore her and continue walking. She grabs me and forcibly Apparates me to a graveyard. Snape is standing beside us. _That didn't happen. Snape wasn't there with us. Why can't I force him from my mind? _Bellatrix points to my grave._

Snape powerfully forces me to a different scene. _I'm in the Great Hall, surrounded by Christopher, Jacob, Emma, and Julia._ Why can't I wake myself up? I fight, but nothing happens. _They begin asking if I can tutor them._ I don't want Snape to be victorious this quickly. I've got to get him out. _I agree to helping them in their Transfiguration. Snape smirks at me. _He's just won again. I am pulled forward, now talking to the Golden Trio. I cannot let him go farther. _My dream self pulls out her wand._ That didn't happen, but let's continue. Maybe I can stop him. _She points it at Snape. "_Protego!"

I jerk awake. Snape is steadying himself on his desk. "Well done," he says. "But next time, you should try to stop me earlier." Before I can reply, he adds, "So you're going to be helping young first-years with Transfiguration."

I bite my tongue. "Unfortunately," I answer.

This news causes too much mirth to romp in his eyes. "The Shield Charm certainly forces me from your thoughts, but I don't believe the Dark Lord will take too kindly to you using such a spell to expel him from your mind. Actions like that will most definitely raise a few red flags," Snape says.

"So what would you have me do, professor?" I ask him.

"Manipulate your thoughts to change what I see." He makes it sound so simple, and I can't help but hate that fact. "Ready?" I nod. Again, I am hit with a spell that forces me into a sleep.

_I am walking to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade._ Does he expect me to manipulate this memory? He's already seen it… _Bellatrix Apparates behind me. _I guess it's worth a shot. _I turn around and pull out my wand. Bellatrix forcibly takes me to a graveyard. I cast a spell at her, but it goes straight through her. She tells me to be safe because someone is to die at Hogwarts this year. I cast another spell. She is thrown backward. I turn to Snape again. "_Protego!"

I jerk awake once more. Snape is staring at me. "If you plan to fool the Dark Lord, you must get better, Charlotte," he says softly. "You cannot expect to fool him with what you have just shown me." He raises his wand at me. "Again."

_I am walking to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade. Bellatrix Apparates behind me. I scream at her to leave. She doesn't. She grabs me and takes me to the graveyard. I shout at her again. I hit her with a spell. She's thrown backward. I turn to Snape. "_Protego!"

Snape is leaning against his desk when I open my eyes. "Better," he comments, "but you need to force me from your thoughts without shouting a spell at me."

"Again," I say to him. I _will_ master Occlumency. I _will_ join the Order of the Phoenix.

He looks at the clock on the wall. "Our lessons for today are over," he replies. "We will continue first thing tomorrow morning."

I nod and walk to the door. "Thank you, professor," I say before leaving. He gives me a curt nod, and I leave his office to go back to the common room.

* * *

**Do you think she'll ever master Occlumency?**

**What about that Jacob kid? I'm not a fan...**

**Do you think she should have told the Golden Trio her idea of what Draco is doing? Or would it have just caused more suspicion without answers?**

**Review!**


	48. Chapter 48

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

* * *

**ceb521: Thanks for reviewing! Occlumency will take a while. Christopher is definitely growing on me:) I agree that she did right by not telling them**

**Squirt: Thanks for reviewing! Occlumecny will be tough. She's got quite the way to go before she's mastered it. But she's getting closer. Maybe she'll succeed...**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say what I have in store for Jacob...he's a wild card to say the least. Maybe she'll master it, but I can't say if she will or not. No spoilers. Yeah, she definitely did the right thing by not telling them. That would've been to chaotic for sure**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I love how you used the word "manipulate" because you're totally right. I was trying to explain to one of my friends what was going on and I was searching for the word but couldn't find it. Thanks:)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I don't like Jacob either but he's gonna be important. I didn't want to throw in characters and make them all important without laying some kind of groundwork. It bothers me when others do it, so I refused to:) I take the time out of my day to reply because you take the time out of yours to review. I think it's only fair:)**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I guess he could be considered to be a little like Draco...hmmm...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 48**

The next morning, I'm leaving the Great Hall after breakfast to get to my Occlumency lessons with Snape, despite the fact that I should be taking this time to study for my classes. I've just reached the exit when my arm is seized. Draco swings me into an empty corridor. "Charlotte," he says coldly.

"Draco," I say just as rudely.

"What was so important that you were at the Gryffindor table with Potter yesterday?" he says tightly.

I jerk my arm away from him. "I don't think that's any of _your_ business, is it?" I don't give him a chance to reply. "That's what I thought. I'm glad that's settled. Excuse me now." I try to get around him, but he grabs me by the shoulders and shoves me back against the wall, holding me there tightly with his body. I try to struggle, but I'm trapped. "Let go of me," I hiss.

Draco lowers his face down to mine and breathes, "You're not the only person inside these walls who is important to the Dark Lord." He puts his nose against mine and continues speaking in the same seductive tone that I fight valiantly not to cave into, "Charlotte, please." He closes his eyes. "Tell me what you know."

I swallow. "Who is going to die this year, Draco?" I ask him.

His grip tightens on me, and he presses himself closer to me. "How do you know about that?" he whispers.

"I –"

"Mr. Malfoy," Snape's voice saves me.

Draco growls as he completely releases me and steps away. "Professor," he replies. "What can I do for you?"

Snape isn't fooled by Draco's polite answer. There's an underlying hint of hatred in his voice. "What were you doing to Miss Rodgers?" the man asks.

"It's a private manner," Draco spits, dashing away before Snape can say another word.

Snape turns to me. "Your lesson begins in ten minutes." He heads in the direction of his office. I quickly match his step and walk alongside him. His eyes find mine for a second before he asks, "Are you going to tell me what just happened? Or am I going to need to use Legilimency once more?"

I keep my eyes locked on his, but I can't speak. How am I supposed to tell Snape that Draco was trying to seduce me into giving him information? I mean, I would have resisted either way, but it's weird that Draco was trying to use our old feelings against me. It's easier to ignore his piercing gray eyes than it used to be. Whenever I'm tempted to have any thought of Draco, I remember Fred. I had thought that my feelings for Draco were strong, but now I know that they were not. He was my first love, but Fred was my deepest.

"It is _easy_ to see that a gloss has formed over your eyes," Snape comments, breaking me from my reverie. "But it is _difficult_ to see whether or not you are trying to remember what just transpired between you and Malfoy."

"A bit of both," I whisper.

He's quiet until we reach his office. We step inside, and he immediately puts up the charms on his door. Then he moves around and takes his seat behind his desk. I sit across from him. "I'm giving you the chance, Charlotte, to tell me what happened before I take matters into my own hands," he says softly.

I fidget around. My mouth opens and closes a few times. He watches me expectantly, but he does not try to interrupt me. My guess is that he can see I'm trying, and he wants to give me the benefit of the doubt. I squeeze my eyes tightly and suck in a deep breath of air. Then I connect my eyes with his. "I want to thank you, professor," I begin.

His look reflects his confusion. "For what?" he asks quietly.

"I...it still hurts…to see Draco…now that Fred…" I force myself to breathe evenly. "It's just that…when you stopped Draco…I realized…it doesn't matter anymore."

His confusion remains written on his face. "What doesn't matter?"

"Being in love, professor," I say calmly. "It just doesn't matter…in light of all that is happening, it doesn't matter."

"And you got all this from me stopping Draco?" he replies.

"Well, yes," I answer smoothly. "Because I realized…that only one thing truly lasts…it doesn't matter what happened between me and Draco, or me and Fred for that matter. It doesn't matter because I still have friends who care about me, even if the two I loved do not." I look away from Snape. "I'll still have Tonks and McGonagall and Mrs. Weasley and Hermione, even if I will never be loved by Fred again." I meet his eyes again. "And you and Professor Dumbledore will always be here to help me learn to fight against the Dark Lord."

Snape shifts uncomfortably. "What did Malfoy say to you?" he asks.

"Well, he sure didn't tell me who is going to die this year," I say bitterly.

The man across the desk freezes. "What makes you think someone will die this year?" he says softly.

"Bellatrix," I answer truthfully, "when she found me making my way to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade. She told me that I had to be careful because of it." I meet his eyes, ignoring his frustrated glare. "Who is it?"

He frowns at me. "What did Draco say?"

I clear my throat. "Well, he…this is the second time that he's tried to get information from me…" I begin. "The first was when he just got back to Hogwarts. I think…I think the Dark Lord knows about Bellatrix coming to find me. Anyways…he just kept asking me...he wanted to know how I had gotten Bellatrix into the castle walls. He was…desperate – to say the least – to know how I had done it."

"And did you tell him?" Snape asks quietly.

"No," I say. "I didn't get Bellatrix into Hogwarts, so I didn't know what he wanted me to know."

He nods but doesn't speak. His eyes are in a distant land, probably trying to piece together the information I've given him with the information he probably already has.

"Professor," I say gently. He looks over at me. "Who…who is going to die this year at Hogwarts?"

His face drops. "What makes you think someone is going to die?" he repeats.

"Bellatrix told me someone would die, but she didn't tell me who," I answer again. "But I presume you know. Who is it, professor?"

"The Dark Lord has strictly forbidden me from speaking of it," he says.

"And since when do you do what the Dark Lord requires of you?" I reply.

He smirks. "Just know this: The wizard in charge has everything planned out."

"And 'the wizard in charge' is who?" I ask. "Because Voldemort is in charge over the Death Eaters and other dark wizards, but Dumbledore is over the Order of the Phoenix and those against Voldemort."

"I cannot say," he answers quietly. "Just trust me. Everything will be fine."

"Trust you, professor?" I whisper. "I find it hard to trust anyone lately."

Snape's eyes are sad. "I understand your issue with trusting, Charlotte. But at some point, you must put your faith in someone."

"Like who?" I croak.

"You can trust me," he repeats.

"Can I, professor?" I ask. "I'm not so sure I can. I spent the entire holidays with you, and I still can't decide whether you're loyal to the Death Eaters or the Order."

He huffs, obviously irritated. "Okay then," he says, "you can trust Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore." This I already knew, so it really does me no good for him to tell me. I look away from him. "And as much as I hate to say it – and believe me, I hate it more than you can possibly imagine – if it is in a peer that you wish to find trust, Potter and his disciples are three that you can easily trust." This brings my attention back to him. "I personally do not, but Professor Dumbledore does."

I slowly nod but say, "They're not the best group for me to go to at the moment. The Weasleys sort of hate me." Why do I always spill my guts around this man? "Fred and I are still not on the best of terms."

Is that compassion I see in Snape's eyes? Surely not. He's quiet for a moment. "If Draco says anything else, tell me. I need to know what he's planning on doing."

"I doubt if he'll say anything, professor. He says he has to restore the Malfoy name," I answer.

Snape looks at his clock. "Our time for your lessons is up," he announces. I sigh. I'm supposed to be getting better at Occlumency. I can't waste my lesson time talking to Snape about my problems. "We will resume them tonight." I nod and leave his office to go to Transfiguration with McGonagall.

I soon learn that nonverbal spells are expected to be used in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, and Charms. This is a problem for me. Hardly anyone can perform them. I hate being given homework for the sake of keeping up this lie that I'm unable to do nonverbal spells. I'm mainly just waiting for Hermione to do them. She's the top of our year, so I know I shouldn't be able to learn them before her. But she's getting closer to succeeding, which means it won't be too much longer before I can use them as well.

I also soon learn that my homework is much harder to finish this year. All of my free time is used with Snape, trying to learn Occlumency. The weekends are when we plan to take a break from our lessons. I'm not sure if I like this idea or not. I mean, I love the time I'm being given, but I need to get better at controlling my mind if I want to join the Order.

* * *

Breakfast on my first Saturday off has actually left me feeling rather sick. I know that within a few hours I'll be teaching four little first-years Transfiguration, which I don't want to do, either. They're taking up the extra time Snape has given me so I don't fall behind in my own schooling.

The post owls swoop into the Great Hall, delivering letters and packages to many of the students who are around me. I can't help but be envious. Had I been born into a different family, I would probably be getting mail right now too, instead of eyeballing everyone else's elated smiles. I down my pumpkin juice. Being Bellatrix's daughter, Voldemort's chosen one, is definitely not worth it. Maybe if I had grown up with Bellatrix I would be excited about my duty. But it's mostly just fear I have.

A brown owl drops a letter in front of me; then it flies away. I timidly pick up the letter. My heart skips a beat. Perhaps it's Fred, replying to the letter I sent him nearly a week ago. Shaking, I open it. _Dear Charlotte,_ it reads. I skim down to the bottom to see from whom it was sent. _Take care of yourself, Bellatrix._ My fist crumbles the paper. Bellatrix. It's from Bellatrix, not Fred. I look up at the staff table. Dumbledore is missing. McGonagall is watching the students. Snape is occupied with his meal.

I stand and leave the Great Hall. With one quick glance back at the Golden Trio, I dodge out of the sight of the students. I'll have to tell the three of them. I'll have to make sure they know what I'm to do for Voldemort. But last time I told someone, I lost my relationship. How am I supposed to tell them? If Fred, one who claimed to love me, cannot see beyond what I'm to do, how can I expect them to see beyond it?

I find a quiet corner of the library and sit down. No one is around. No one will see me. I take the letter out of my closed hand and lay it on the table, flattening the wrinkles.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ I must begin by saying that no one – and I strictly mean no one – can know I spoke with you that day you went to Hogwarts. _I've already spoken of that. Sorry, mother… _I fear that you will be in grave danger if the Dark Lord learns that you know what will happen this year. There is a terrible threat at the school; do not let anyone persuade you otherwise. At all times, Aurelia, I implore you to watch yourself. You will never know when someone will attempt to double-cross you. _

_That being said, I must beg you not to trust Severus Snape. I know you think highly of him, as does the Dark Lord himself, but the pair of you are mistaken. I'm sure of it. He was not willing to go to Azkaban for the Dark Lord. Snape thinks only of himself, and his own welfare. You must not trust him, and I know this is difficult for you because I know you have already put your faith in him. When his true allegiances are exposed, I want you to be ready. Snape should not be in the Inner Circle. The Dark Lord's judgment is clouded. I believe Snape to be more loyal to Dumbledore than he would have others think. I know better; he's against the Dark Lord. He wants to stop the Dark Lord's plans. _Why is she telling me this again?

_ Another thing, we have received notice that there are members of the Order of the Phoenix patrolling the castle and its grounds at night. You must be alert. If any of them discover who you truly are, they will not hesitate to capture you as leverage._

_ If Draco comes to you for help, assist him the best that you can. If the Dark Lord learns that you were unhelpful to Draco, which led to his task being delayed, I am afraid that not even your future duty will be enough to keep you from punishment. If Snape asks you to help him help Draco, you should do your best in that matter as well, but keep your guard up. Snape has Vowed to assist and protect Draco, but he has made no such Vow concerning you. Do not let him deceive you, Aurelia. Please, watch after yourself._

_ If you fear that someone knows who you are, believe that they do and treat the situation as such. If something or someone threatens your life, do not be afraid to take matters into your own hands. But do not go to Snape. I am positive that he will try to harm you. You must not let this happen. If he tries to harm you, owl me. The Dark Lord will see to your safety. _

_ I need you to come through this year unscathed. I need you to be brave and always on high alert. Do not do anything if you might be put into danger._

_Take care of yourself,  
Bellatrix_

I stare blankly down at the letter. I don't know what to think. I don't understand. Why does Bellatrix all of a sudden care? Why does it matter to her if I am harmed or not? I have to keep her distant from me. I can't risk letting her in. I have to make sure our relationship stays cold.

But I now know one thing for certain: I can trust Snape completely. If Bellatrix believes he is loyal to Dumbledore, then he most likely is. And as such, I need to speak with him. I abruptly stand and make my way to his office. Reprising my old habit, I throw his door open without knocking and without warning. "Professor!" I call.

Snape looks up from his desk. "Charlotte?" he asks. "What are you doing here? Do you not have a few first-years whom you are supposed to be teaching?"

"Not until later," I answer quickly. "But I'm not in here for a chat." I close his door and walk straight up to his desk. I pull the letter out of my robes and place it in front of him. "I got this at breakfast. I tried getting your attention in the Great Hall, but you seemed too preoccupied by your meal." He ignores my frustrated tone, grabs the letter, and reads through it while I remain frozen in front of him. Before I can react, he has pulled out his wand and set the letter on fire. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" My hands lurch forward to put out the flames, but it's too late. All that's left of my mother's letter to me is a charred sheet of paper. Before I can register my anger and calm down, my hand is in the air and is going across Snape's face. "How dare you!" I hiss.

He methodically walks around his desk, takes me by the shoulders, and leads me to his office door. "It was foolish for Bellatrix to send you that letter. What if it had been confiscated or found by another student? Where would that leave me? Where would it leave Draco? Where would it leave you?"

"In the open," I say boldly, "out of all these lies."

"Well, then we should make sure that doesn't happen," he replies. Opening his door, he slightly shoves me out of his office. I stand there, shocked, as he closes the door in my face.

* * *

**Did you think it was from Fred when you first read that part?**

**What do you think about Bellatrix's letter? Snape's reaction?**

**Do you think Fred will ever reply?**

**Should she trust Snape?**

**Review!**


	49. Chapter 49

**I won't be able to update tomorrow. I'm really sorry :( My cousin is getting married today (yay!), but that means I won't be around my laptop all day, which means I won't have a chance to write. We'll be gone all day. But I promise I'll update on Monday!**

* * *

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I figured that most people would hope it was from Fred. But that can't happen just yet...too much has to come together first. I've got things in the works for Bellatrix and Charlotte; I'm just trying to straighten them out a bit. I think part of Charlotte realizes that she can trust Snape, but part of her doesn't want to.**

**Rubzdiamond: Thanks for reviewing! It's good to know you're still reading! I have a lot of free time during the summer break cause I don't have a job yet. I spend a lot of time with my grandparents, and there's not much to do there. So I write:)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! There's a long road ahead of Fred and Charlotte... Charlotte only sees Bellatrix as Bellatrix, you know? The Death Eater who so willingly serves Voldemort, the one who tortured the Longbottoms. Things might eventually change for her though. You never know. She knows that her mother cares, but it's hard for her to reach back. Snape is the same as canon. I don't like when authors just switch that up. But because she doesn't know the full story, it'll be hard to put her full trust in him.**

**Squirt: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks! I hope he replies as well! I enjoyed the two of them...**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! What happened in Deathly Hallows that would make it hard for her to trust Dumbledore. I mean...I still liked him after I read it lol. Snape did what he did because if someone found that letter, his whole cover could be blown. It said that he was in the Inner Circle. So the best way to get rid of something like that was to burn it :)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I definitely agree that Charlotte should have done that first, but she's so confused with everything that's going on that she needs someone she can go to. She needs to be able to lay out her thoughts and put them in order with the help of someone. That's what I thought when I was writing it, that Snape being Dumbledore's makes him more trustworthy to Charlotte.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Maybe if you scream "TRUST SNAPE" enough, Charlotte will hear you lol ;). I thought about making it Fred, but I decided I'd wait before I make a decision on Fred/Charlotte. It was completely stupid of Bellatrix, but she's growing fond of her daughter again and doesn't want to risk losing her.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 49**

I sit down by the Black Lake. In less than half an hour, the annoying little first-years will be coming down from wherever they are for their first lesson in Transfiguration. I should be working on homework right now, not trying to figure out how to teach children. I look out toward the lake and can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had never came back up from the lake's depths last year, if I had stayed under the water forever.

I know exactly what would have happened. I would have escaped Voldemort. I would never have fallen in love with Fred. I would never have had to lie to Fred. I would never have had to experience the heartbreak I saw in Fred's eyes, the betrayal I saw in his eyes. So, in conclusion, life would be easier if I were dead.

"Charlotte," I hear. I turn to see Christopher and his three little friends with him. "I hope you don't mind that we're a bit early."

Actually, I do mind. I wanted a few more minutes to torture myself with thoughts of Fred, but I don't voice this. "It's fine," I lie. The four of them sit down in front of me. This is awful. What if someone sees me? I should have done this in a more private place. Of course, I guess it doesn't really matter much. I'm not important to the functioning of Hogwarts. I'm just sort of…here. I'm just another student. I'm not Harry Potter. I wonder if I would be treated differently if everyone knew the truth about me. Perhaps I shouldn't want to know what they would treat me like, especially since my parents are the Lestranges and Voldemort has a plan for me. It's best not to even think about that.

"Charlotte," a rude voice interrupts my thoughts. I look over. Jacob Butler's caramel eyes are glaring at me. "If you wanted time alone, you should have just told us, but now that we're here you can't just ignore us." He looks over at Christopher. "Seriously though, why did you choose _her?"_ He glances at me then back to his friend. "She's probably not even a pureblood."

My mouth almost drops open, but I stop when Christopher says, offense coating his every word, "Neither am I, but you seem fine with me."

"Because I know I'm better than you," Jacob answers haughtily, "purebloods are always better." He reminds me of the Malfoys. "We should have asked Draco." He must know them somehow. Again, his caramel eyes land on me. "You're not even a pureblood, are you?"

"Why does that matter so much to you, Jacob?" Emma asks. "We're not purebloods either." She motions to herself and Julia.

"And look at the two of you!" Jacob retorts. "Julia's an absolute freak! And you…you disrespect the name of wizard the way you fraternize with Mudbloods and Muggles alike!"

Emma and Julia look as if they're going to cry. I can't deal with other people's agony on top of mine, so I speak up, "Then why are you with them and not some of you fellow superior purebloods?"

"Because the other two purebloods in our year hate him!" Christopher laughs.

Jacob pulls his wand out at Christopher. "Shut up, you filthy half-blood!"

"Put your wand away," I say to the boy.

He turns his wand to me. "Did I say you could speak to me?" he shouts. "I won't tolerate being commanded around by a half-blood! You'll learn to respect me! _Redu –"_

I silently expel his wand from his hand and catch it in the air. I sigh, "Now, if you attempt something like that again, I'll be forced to do things I don't want to do. And you might just end up trapped at the bottom of the Black Lake. Got it?"

His mouth opens again. "Worthless half-blood," he mutters. He tacks something onto the end of this, but I don't quite understand him.

"What was that?" I sneer. "I don't think I quite caught what you said."

"I said that you're a worthless half-blood who doesn't deserve to be studying magic!" he shouts.

I laugh at him. "Who has fed you these lies that purebloods are any better?"

His face turns red. "My parents," he answers.

"That's pathetic!" I tell him. "Do you realize how foolish you sound?"

His face contorts in anger. "Lying little half-blood," he growls.

I smirk at him. "Oh, it's worse than just being a half-blood. I wish I was a half-blood. I'm a Muggle-born." Lying to him is great, but watching his reactions is even greater.

He sticks his hand out. "Give me back my wand. I won't be taught by a Mudblood."

I jerk his wand farther away from him. "You do realize that there are no purebloods teaching here at Hogwarts, right?" I ask sarcastically.

"Sure there is," he argues. "Professor Snape –"

"Is a half-blood," I cut him off. "Muggle father, pureblooded mother."

"Give me back my wand," he snarls.

I put it in his hand but keep a firm grip on it. "You might want to learn a thing or two while you're here at Hogwarts," I say threateningly. "If you act like you believe purebloods to be better than all other witches and wizards, people might get the wrong idea that you support Voldemort."

"Maybe I do," he growls. "I think he's got the right idea. Can you imagine it: A strictly pureblooded wizarding society?"

It takes every drop of my willpower not to attack the kid. "You believe Voldemort's got the right idea about things?" I ask quietly.

"Most definitely," Jacob answers proudly. "He's the greatest, smartest wizard there was ever been. People should learn that before it's too late."

I bite my tongue then I say, "You believe Voldemort to be a great wizard?" Jacob nods. "Why don't you go speak to Harry Potter about how great the Dark Lord is? His family was murdered by Voldemort before he could walk. Why don't you go speak to Professor Snape about it? If you grew up in a pureblooded family, you will know he was once a Death Eater before defecting to be a spy for Dumbledore. Why don't you go speak to Draco Malfoy? His father is a convicted Death Eater; he was thrown into Azkaban. Why don't you go speak to them about how wonderful the Dark Lord _truly_ is?"

"You sound like you know him," Jacob comments.

"He took my mother from me when I was ten," I answer.

He smirks. "I bet the Muggle wasn't so happy to have a witch as a daughter then, was she? Had that been my mother, she would have protected herself against him."

"Were the Potters not magical beings?" I ask him.

He doesn't answer.

"Now you listen here, Jacob," I say warningly. "You'd be wise to learn that purebloods are no better than the rest. You'd be wise to learn that Voldemort is not a wizard you want to mixed up with." I release his wand. "And you'd definitely be wise to learn not to disrespect me like that again. I might just be able to save your life one day."

"Not likely," he replies.

"Have you ever experienced the Cruciatus Curse?" I ask him. He shakes his head. "Would you like to keep it that way?" He pales. "That's what I thought." I point to the spot next to Emma. "Sit down and shut up." I look at the other three. "If this pompous prick says anything else that offends you, let me know." I meet Christopher's eyes. "What are you learning in Transfiguration?"

"We have to turn a match into a needle," he answers.

I smile. This was one of the first Transfigurations I ever taught myself. "Okay," I say. "Do you have matches with you?"

They all look at each other. Christopher hangs his head a little. "We didn't think about bringing any…"

That's so frustrating. They want to learn Transfiguration, but they didn't bring what they wanted to learn how to Transfigure. "It's fine," I say loftily. I summon three of them from the castle, and just a few moments later, they are lying on the ground in front of me. I give one to each of the first-years. "I want to see each of your best efforts." I look at Christopher. "Why don't you start?" I say to him.

He smiles nervously. He points his wand at the match. It takes him a second before he musters the courage to try. He says the incantation flawlessly but can't seem to get the wand movement right. After a few tries, I stop him and look at Emma. "Your turn," I say encouragingly.

She holds a shaky wand over the match. After a few minutes, I can't seem to see anything that's she's doing wrong, but the match won't budge. So I stop her and move to Jacob. "Go ahead," I command. He gives me a deadly glare before pointing his wand at his match. I let him try it twice as long as I let the other two try, and he still can't do it. I stop him with a smirk before I turn to Julia and prompt her to try. She, like Emma, says it right and moves her wand correctly but can't get it to change. I stop her a few minutes later.

Now that I've put some thought into it, I look at Christopher. "It's your wand movement." I move toward him and put my hand over his. "It's like this." I slowly guide his hand through the movement. Then I do it the speed it should be done for the spell. "Got it?" I ask him. He nods. "Try again." I move onto Emma while Christopher continues working on his match. Periodically, I see some of the other students looking at us. Far off, I can see Pansy look over here often and snigger to her friends. I ignore them.

I say to Emma, "Are you concentrating? A large part of Transfiguration is your concentration. Without concentration, you will not Transfigure anything." I smile at her. "Try concentrating as best you can." I move to Jacob.

"I don't need your help, you disgusting Mudblood," he scoffs.

I give him a thumbs up. "Okay then," I reply with fake happiness.

I move on to help Julia. "Concentration is an important part of Transfiguration," I say to her, "but wand power is just as important. I want you to focus on making your spell stronger." She nods.

I lie down on the grass while the four of them attempt to change their matches into needles. Part of me again goes to wondering what life would be like if Voldemort had not been born, or if he had never risen to power. If that were the case, I would not be where I am right now. Or, if I was, I would have a loving family waiting for me back home. I wouldn't have this anxiety looming over me.

Then again, I don't think I would have ever met Snape. I know it's weird, but he's become important to me. I like McGonagall, but Snape understands me and empathizes with me more than she can because he's been around the Dark Lord. But, if Voldemort had never risen to power, I wouldn't be in my current predicament, so meeting Snape would be worth nothing because he wouldn't understand what I'm going through.

Snape, poor Snape. If Tom Riddle had never become Lord Voldemort, the professor's life would be completely different. He might have ended up with that redheaded girl I saw in his memories, the one who made him smile a smile I've never seen on him except for in his memories. He might have married her, had a child with her, been happy with her. My breath catches in my throat. I complain about my life and how Voldemort is going to ruin it, how he's ruined it for almost seven years. But Snape…he was roughly fifteen in the last memory I saw of his when he was happy. He's maybe…I'd guess…nearly forty. Voldemort has been ruining Snape's life for nearly twenty-five years.

I sit up. The four first-years are still working tediously to accomplish the small bit of Transfiguration. "Okay," I tell them. "Continue working during the week. We'll pick up here next Saturday." I walk away from the group and head back for the castle.

I'm about to knock on Snape's office door when I realize how terrible of an idea this is. I can't go barging into his office and apologize to him for his life being ruined by Voldemort. I can't go in there and ask him about the young redheaded girl he so obviously loved. I sigh and spin on my heel. I guess I'll just go to the Slytherin common room and wait around until this sorrow passes. Or I could go talk to McGonagall. I think I'll do that instead.

As I go up the stairs to leave the dungeon, I pass Draco. Both of us freeze and stare at each other. Or I could just talk to him. Yes, this is the option I'm choosing. I take his hand in mine and pull him back to the dungeons with me. I walk straight to the empty classroom that Draco and I used for our date. I drag him inside the room. "Before you say anything," I croak, "let me speak."

His shock is probably the only thing that is keeping him quiet.

"The Dark Lord has chosen a day," I tell him.

"A d –" he stops his question short. "Merlin's beard…Charlotte…"

I nod, tears running down my cheeks. "That's pretty much what I said when I found out…"

Draco shifts on his feet uncomfortably. "When?" he whispers.

A sob breaks through my chest. "It depends," I struggle out. I shake my head and look down.

Draco's hand gently takes me by the chin and lifts my face to his. "Depends on what?"

I bite my lip.

"You can tell me," he says softly.

"It depends on…when you…fulfill whatever it is…that Vol – the Dark Lord – wants you to do," I answer in a low voice.

"No," he moans regretfully. "No, this can't be…"

And for the first time in months, Draco takes me into his arms. There's nothing romantic about it. There's no underlying motive of getting information. He just holds me in the most comforting embrace I've had since I found out exactly when I'm going to be a slave.

"What did he say?" Draco whispers. My head is against his chest, and his head is resting on my shoulder. His breath is warm in my ear.

"If you succeed by the Christmas holidays, it will take place over the break," he tenses at my words. "If you are unsuccessful until after the Christmas holidays, it will happen the thirty-first of July."

"Potter's birthday?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," I breathe. I sob into his chest. I hope he registers the significance of this without me having to say it aloud.

"What can I do?" he replies.

I pull back and look into his gray eyes. "Hold off until after Christmas?" I choke.

"I can't do _nothing_," Draco answers. "The Dark Lord will become suspicious."

"I understand," I cry.

I try to step away, but Draco grabs me by the arm and pulls me back. "Who else knows…the days, I mean?"

I answer, "Your mum – I told her right after, but not in detail – um…Snape –"

"Naturally," Draco says bitterly.

I ignore his tone. "And Fred."

"Weasley?" Draco asks, even ruder than his comment about Snape. "What'd he say?"

I clear my throat. I don't want to talk about my relationship problems with the boy who is both my former boyfriend and current cousin. "He was shocked."

"That's not what I asked," Draco replies. "What did he do?"

"We're no longer together," I say truthfully.

"Filthy little bleeder," Draco grumbles. "I told you the blood traitor wasn't good for you."

"Please don't do that," I whisper.

He smirks and pulls me tighter to him, resting his head on top of mine. "I'll do my best to delay my mission, Charlotte," he promises.

"Thank you!" I cry, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "What will you do?"

"I'll figure something out," he assures me.

I smile at him. "Thank you, Draco. Thank you." He smiles back. I cough to gain courage before asking, "What…what exactly is your task?"

"I can't tell you," he answers dejectedly.

"I guessed as much."

He cups my face with hands and rests his forehead against mine. "I'll do my best to help you, Charlotte. I'll make sure your Christmas holidays will remain merry." He hugs me tight for just a second before leaving the room. I can't face anyone at the moment. So I slump to the floor. After everything we've been through, Draco is still willing to help me. After all our fights and disagreements, he is still going to keep me from Voldemort for a few extra months. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrap my arms around my head, and rest on my knees.

* * *

**What did you think about Draco and Charlotte?**

******Do you think Draco will ever tell Charlotte?**

**What about Jacob? I still dislike him...**

**Review!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Sorry about the delay yesterday! That won't happen often:)**

**I've passed 200 reviews! That excites me! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and made that possible!**

* * *

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! Isn't he, though? He serves a purpose later. What do you mean by "she needs to tell that boy though"?**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I think Jacob definitely needs to know just how wonderful Voldemort is... It'll come up:)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! They would be good together, but it would gross. That, and I have plans for her. Fred's response will come. I already have the scene planned! I'm not a fan of Jacob either. This chapter is ALL Snape and Charlotte. He can't be in every single one, but he is in most of them:)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Draco's never really been a morbid person...he couldn't kill Dumbledore in the series. I felt so bad for him... I've got some things in mind for her concerning Draco's task. The wedding was fun but so sad. I was even sadder that I couldn't update yesterday lol**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! A lot of people were saying that they liked this chapter the most, and I don't know why lol. Charlotte and Draco still love each other, just not in the romantic kind of way. That all went away, but they care. I really enjoyed writing the fight with Jacob!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I would love for him to find out, but because of some things I've got coming, she can't tell anyone:( But I definitely thought about it! Well, in canon he didn't go home that Christmas, so Voldemort wouldn't know until after Dumbledore was killed that Draco had been stalling. But then, Voldemort would be rejoicing in his victory over Dumbledore, and while he would still be upset about Draco, I don't think he'd kill Draco. He might punish him though. I'm planning some things for Draco and Charlotte. I think Draco does feel that he should avenge Charlotte, but I'm still working on all of that.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! It's all planned out:) No worries!**

**a. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! I completely agree with your description of Jacob. She and Draco still care about each other and only want the best for each other:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! He'll have to tell her at some point, or she'll have to figure out for herself. If not, things would become to tense between them, and Charlotte would become too edgy. **

**steffy potter: Thanks for the follows and the favorite and the review! I woke up this morning and was elated by all the emails I got:) I'm glad you're enjoying the story; that means I'm writing it for a good reason! I love writing twists to keep people on their toes:) You weren't expecting Fred? To be honest, I wasn't either when I first started writing this story, but I saw an opportunity and took it. Oh, trust me, the Fred thing is far from being resolved:) 3:30 a.m.? Wow, that's dedication...and it warms my heart! **

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for the favorite!**

**tobermory11: Thanks for the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 50**

I've been working on keeping Snape out of my mind while I sleep for three weeks now and still have yet to get him out without using my wand to cast the Shield Charm. He's becoming rather irritated with me, and I'm becoming overly frustrated at the whole idea of Occlumency.

On top of that, Christopher and his friends will not leave me alone. Throughout the day, they run up to me to show me how they're improving in their Transfiguration. All of them, even Jacob (who I would enjoy seeing fail), can change the match into a needle. And they see fit to show my almost every time I am within fifty feet of them.

Speaking of Transfiguration, I haven't spoken to McGonagall since the start of the term. I feel rather empty without her guidance. I need her more now than I did last year. I feel like I'm in a maelstrom, being dragged from one side to another as I slowly descend into an overwhelming cold darkness from which I won't be able escape. At least twice a week now, I wake up from a dream of drowning in the Black Lake. With Voldemort, Occlumency, N.E.W.T level classes, and this stupid tutoring thing I'm being forced to do, I find it hard to take a deep breath.

It's almost the end of September. If Draco keeps his word, I won't have to go to Voldemort during the Christmas holidays. But time is passing too quickly, and my duty is approaching too quickly. And I'm still failing at Occlumency.

Needless to say, I'm dreading each step I take that leads me to Snape's office. It's been a long day, and all I want to do is go to sleep. But I can't. To become a member of the Order, I must master Occlumency. I _will _join the Order, therefore I _will_ master Occlumency. Gathering up my wit and courage, I knock on Snape's door. Only after receiving permission do I enter. As usual, Snape is at his desk, grading homework that he assigned. He doesn't look up. I take my seat across from him and stay quiet.

Snape still doesn't look up.

"Professor," I say a few minutes later.

He taps his quill on his desk.

"Professor," I repeat.

He tosses his quill onto the papers and runs his hands over his face. When he finally looks at me, his fists are clenched. "Who is Mrs. Stoico?" he asks quietly.

My head cocks to the side without my consent. What an odd question… "Why?" I reply.

Snape stands to his feet. "I need to see your memories of her," he announces. Then he points his wand at me. "Are you ready?"

I nod.

_I am seven years old again, back in Mrs. Stoico's office. I'm sitting beside her on the sofa she kept in there. I'm crying. One of my eyes is swollen shut, and my right arm is in a cast. "I don't know," I whisper._

"_Don't lie to me, Charlotte," she replies sternly. "I need to know. Who did it?"_

"_I d-don't know!" I cry._

_The woman pulls me close to her. "It's okay," she says softly. "You're not in trouble." She kisses the top of my head. "Who are you trying to protect? Who did it?"_

_I hang my head. "It was Dylan."_

Snape pulls himself out of my memories, obviously frustrated. "Stop blocking your mind," he commands.

"I…I didn't realize that I was, professor," I say quietly.

He seems torn before he says, "In other circumstances I would commend you for training your mind to block the important things. But I am not the Dark Lord. This is important for me to know. I _need to know_ who she is."

"I told you already!" I shout. "She's a Squib, the caretaker of the orphanage! She – she's Mrs. Stoico! That's all you need to know about her."

He's not convinced. Pointing his wand at me again, he says, "_Legilimens."_

_A brown-haired, burly boy is being escorted through the orphanage by two large men. He is nearly sixteen years old. He glares at me. "You'll pay for this, Rodgers," he growls. "You just wait until Stoico is no longer around. You'll pay."_

_It seems that Mrs. Stoico appears out of almost thin air. She really emerges from one of the closed doors, but she very well could have just appeared. She nods to the two men, who walk to the front door of the orphanage and wait outside. Then she turns to the boy. "I don't think so, Dylan," she says fiercely. She puts her hands on my shoulders. "You'll no longer be staying here."_

"_And just where do you expect me to go?" he snaps. "I've no real home other than here." His eyes then dart toward me. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" He lunges at me._

_The scene changes, and I'm sitting alone on my bunk in the orphanage. It's dark outside, but I'm waking up, as if I've been asleep most of the day._

The next thing I know, I'm back in Snape's office. Now he seems even more frustrated than before. "What happened?" he asks me.

"I don't know…" I answer quietly. "I don't remember…I…I have no idea what…I don't know…"

"_Legilimens,"_ he says.

_Again, I'm in the hallway with Mrs. Stoico and the burly bully named Dylan. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" He lunges at me._

_And again, I'm waking up in my room at nightfall._

Snape leaves my mind and just stares at me. I stare back at him. After a few moments, he says, "I believe your memories have been modified."

My mouth drops open, and I sink farther down the chair. "By-by whom?" I whisper.

He shakes his head, "I don't know." Then he takes his seat behind his desk. He waits another few minutes before continuing, "Could it have been Mrs. Stoico?"

"She couldn't have – she was a Squib!" I say.

"Can you be sure?" he asks.

I hop to my feet. "Yes!" I shout. "NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU ASK ME, SHE WILL ALWAYS BE A SQUIB! THAT IS WHY SHE IS DEAD! SHE COULD NOT DEFEND HERSELF AGAINST –" but I stop myself. I don't want to think about what happened to her.

He takes a deep breath. "Why don't you have a seat?" he suggests. Slowly, I lower myself back into the chair. "Do you have proof that she is a Squib?"

"OF COURSE –" I stop short and breathe deeply. "Yes, I do."

Snape points his wand at me again. "Prove it to me, prove to me that she is a Squib. _Legilimens."_

_I'm standing in Mrs. Stoico's office at the orphanage. She's crouched in front of me with tears of joy in her eyes. "Where did you go?" she asks me. "I was so worried about you!" The woman, who was the closest thing to a real mum I ever had, brushes her hand through my hair. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again!"_

_I nod. "I'm sorry," I whisper through tears of my own._

_She wraps me into a fierce hug. _

_A gruff voice comes from the door, "Well, well."_

I'm not going to risk being unable to force Snape from my thoughts. Instead, I shout, "_Protego!"_ and am taken into Snape's memories.

"_It _is_ real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It _is _real, isn't it?" _This has got to be the same girl I saw once before, the one that Snape spoke to in a loving voice; she's got the same red hair. But I can see her face this time. She's got stunning green eyes.

"_It's real for us," a young Snape answers. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."_

Snape shoves me out of his memories with such force that I, along with the chair in which I'm sitting, topple backward. I quickly scramble to me feet and readjust the chair. Before I can even sit back down, Snape has shouted, "_Legilimens!"_

_I'm standing in Mrs. Stoico's office at the orphanage. She's crouched in front of me with tears of joy in her eyes. "Where did you go?" she asks me. "I was so worried about you!" The woman brushes her hand through my hair. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again!"_

_I nod. "I'm sorry," I whisper through tears of my own._

_She wraps me into a fierce hug. _

_A gruff voice comes from the door, "Well, well."_

He will _not_ watch Mrs. Stoico die, and I will _not_ relive this horrid nightmare. "_Protego!"_ I don't care what kind of trouble this gets me into. I am taking no chances. Again, I'm taken into Snape's memories.

_A young Snape, much younger than the one I saw moments before, cowers on a sofa. A man is shouting at a woman. _Those must be his parents. _His father hits his mother across the face with enough strength to put her on the hard floor. He rounds on Snape. The man is obviously infuriated. He comes toward Snape, his fists clenched._

Snape forces me out of his mind once more. This time, he is not near as angry with me as he had been last time. But he still shouts, "_Legilimens!" _before giving me a chance to gain my bearings.

_The boy named Dylan and two other boys corner me in the orphanage. "If it isn't Stoico's favorite little orphan," Dylan comments._

"_How long's she been here anyway?" one of the other boys chuckles._

"_Her whole life!" the last one laughs._

"_Did you ever know your mum, Rodgers?" Dylan asks. "Where is she? Is she dead?"_

"_SHUT UP!" I roar._

_They all begin laughing again. One of the boys walks away for a few seconds and returns with a wooden bat. "Do you think Stoico will realize her injustices before it's too late?" he asks cruelly as he hands Dylan the bat._

"_Only one way to find out, right?" Dylan sneers. He takes the bat and raises it above his head. "You might want to close your eyes," he says to me. The bat comes down on my arm with enough force that I can hear my bone crack underneath it. He raises it again and swings it at my head, whacking me in the face. I begin screaming. The bat slips from Dylan's hands. The three of them crumble to their knees, shouting from their own unseen pain. I stand and hobble from the room._

I push Snape from my thoughts. He doesn't say anything. He just looks at me. "Charlotte," he says slowly.

My eyes dart away from him. "Professor," I reply.

"What happened next?" he asks.

I still don't look at him. "I found Mrs. Stoico. She took me to the doctor. You've seen the rest." I sit down.

"Look at me," he commands. It takes a second before I force myself to meet his gaze. There's compassion in his eyes that I try hard to ignore. "I need to see…when she died."

"No," I say firmly.

"There is no other way," he replies.

"The answer is still no, professor. I won't relive that. I'm sorry." With that, I make for the door.

"Wait!" he orders. I pause and turn back to him. "I don't believe she is what you think she is. I need to know. You could be in danger."

"Leave it alone, professor," I whisper. "I'm always going to be in danger." The door doesn't budge when I try to open it. I rest my head against it. My voice cracks when I say, "Please don't make me do this."

"Charlotte," he says gently. I turn and meet his eyes, despite the tears blurring everything. "If I did not believe it truly necessary, I would not ask you to do it."

I battle it out in my mind for a few minutes. I don't want to relive that. I don't want Snape to see it. But he sounds serious about needing to know. Perhaps I can stop him before her actual death. Perhaps I won't have to relive the full memory. "Okay," I acquiesce. I trudge back to the seat and sit down.

"Are you ready?" he asks me softly. I nod. "_Legilimens."_

_I'm ten years old. It's raining. But I'm not under any kind of shelter. I'm on the street corner, just sitting there. My tears mix with the rain on my face. A thin, holey blanket drapes my shoulders, but I'm still visibly shivering. A few people toss coins at my feet, coins which I proceed to pick up and throw back. I don't need money. I need a home._

_A man crouches down in front of me and removes his jacket to wrap around me. I look up. He has a blond beard and blond hair that covers his ears. His eyes are brown and inviting. "What's a young girl such as yourself doing out in the cold?" he asks me kindly._

"_I don't have anywhere else to go," I whimper._

_He looks away before saying, "Are you hungry?"_

_I nod._

"_Well, come on then," he says. Then he pulls me to my feet and leads me to a little diner. "What's your name?" he asks._

"_Ch-Charlotte Rodgers," I whisper._

"_Where are your parents?"_

"_I…I don't know…I'm an orphan…" I weep._

_He rubs my back encouragingly. "'S not so bad," he replies. "One of my childhood friends was an orphan as well, and he went on to do great things." The man smiles at me. "You can too."_

"_Who are you?" _

"_They call me Avery," he says as we take our seats. A waitress walks over and hands us menus. "Order anything you'd like."_

I don't want to recall all the subtle hints that could have saved Mrs. Stoico's life, so I push Snape farther through the memory.

"_Mrs. Stoico is her name?" he asks._

"_Yes, she's a mother to me," I answer proudly. Then I look away from him. "I miss her terribly."_

"_How long have you been gone?"_

"_Nearly a month," I cry._

"_Why don't you go back to her?" he replies._

"_I can't," I say. "I'd put her in danger."_

"_How can an innocent child put a woman in danger?"_

"_I'm a w –" I stop. "I'm not normal."_

_Avery leans across the table and lowers his voice. "Can I tell you a secret?" he asks me. I nod my head vigorously. _Even back then I was nosy. _"I'm not normal either." He winks at me. "You should go back to her. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to have you back, even if you aren't normal. Who's to say what's 'normal,' anyway?"_

I propel Snape farther into the memory.

_I'm standing in Mrs. Stoico's office at the orphanage. She's crouched in front of me with tears of joy in her eyes. "Where did you go?" she asks me. "I was so worried about you!" The woman brushes her hand through my hair. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again!"_

_I nod. "I'm sorry," I whisper through tears of my own._

_She wraps me into a fierce hug. _

_A gruff voice comes from the door, "Well, well." Mrs. Stoico abruptly stands to her feet and pulls me behind her. "We've been searching for you for nearly eleven years, did you know that?" _

"'_We?'" Mrs. Stoico repeats. "Meaning…?"_

"_Don't act so innocent," Avery says rudely. _It's been so long since I've thought about this that I had forgotten they spoke before he attacked. I'm surprised I can remember what was said. But I do remember. And against my will, it's coming back to me. _"You cannot just leave the service of the Dark Lord and expect to remain hidden from him forever."_

"_The Dark Lord has been defeated," Mrs. Stoico retorts, "and he has been for nearly nine years."_

"_And you think he will not return?" Avery laughs. "I did not raise you to be a fool."_

"_You raised me to serve the Dark Lord, something I had no intention of doing!" Mrs. Stoico answers. "Now I suggest you leave."_

_Avery pulls out his wand. "Do you not know who that girl is?" he looks at me with loathing. "She's been chosen by the Dark Lord and as such she must –"_

"_The Dark Lord is dead! His orders mean nothing now! You will not harm her!" the woman screams. "I've been protecting her for almost ten years! And you won't take her from me now!"_

_Avery waves his wand at the door. "You've made a grave mistake, my daughter."_

_Mrs. Stoico's grip on my shoulder tightens. "You'll have to kill me before you touch her," she declares._

_He then directs his wand toward me, but he keeps his eyes on her. "Such a pity," he says, "if only you had not been influenced by that blood traitor mother of yours. Your brother escaped you fate and proudly claims his rank with the Dark Lord."_

_Mrs. Stoico shoves me toward the door. "Run, Charlotte!" she screeches. Then she lunges behind her desk as her father tries to kill her. I obey, but the door won't open. Mrs. Stoico draws her wand, but her father expels it from her hand before she can do anything. Desperate, she throws a knife at him, but he easily blocks the blade from hitting him._

"_Young Charlotte," he says with his back to me, "you can save the woman who has taken you as her own. All you have to do is come with me."_

"_Charlotte, don't!"_

"Crucio!"_ Avery shouts. Mrs. Stoico erupts in a shriek that still sends shivers down my spine._

I can't watch this. My breath is shortening. My panic is rising. I can't watch this ending. Snape was right. Mrs. Stoico was not who I thought her to be. I do the only thing I can think to do. "_Protego!"_

* * *

**I****'ll explain the significance of Mrs. Stoico and Avery in the next chapter.**

**What memory of Snape's do you think she'll see this time?**

**Did any of you expect it?**

**What do you think this means for our dear Charlotte?**

**Review!**


	51. Chapter 51

**I apologize for the cliffhanger last chapter. Had I continued, the chapter would have been MASSIVE...lol. Good thing I update every day, right?**

* * *

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if your reviews aren't long. I mean, I enjoy reading the long ones, but any review is great:)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Everything comes full circle eventually, so I can't really say why Mrs. Stoico did what she did. I figured most people believed she was a Squib because Charlotte mentioned it then never really went into detail.**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! It's important that she be Avery's daughter, but I can't say how just yet. And the Fred thing is far from over.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! It'll be while before it really become prominent, but it's important nevertheless:)**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I caught you off guard!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I don't like cliffhangers but you know...it was necessary**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! At least it wasn't that long of a wait before you find out what happens:) **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I try really hard not to have cliffhangers, but there was too much following his memory to put it all in that one chapter. It would have been huge. So I split it up...I won't do that often though:)**

**pixiiee: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**Twighlightgirl105: Thanks for the favorites!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 51**

I'm drawn into the professor's memories.

"…_thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape says. "Best friends?_ He's in his teens, walking through Hogwarts beside a girl with the same red hair as the girl who is always in his Hogwarts memories, the one with the green eyes that seem so familiar.

"_We _are_, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! _Mulciber! _What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"_

Snape pushes me out of his thoughts. "Avery?" I ask quietly.

He slightly nods but doesn't speak. His frustration with me for seeing his memories is written on his face. He sits back down and stares down at his desk for a few moments. "What happened to the man?" he finally says.

I clear my throat. "The knife…I…I stabbed him…until he was just…just a corpse…" I answer. I shift in my seat. "There's a relation there, isn't there? Between the Avery who killed Mrs. Stoico and the Avery you used to hang around with?"

He meets my eyes. "And there's a relation there with Mrs. Stoico," he replies.

I bury my face into my hands. I was hoping I had misunderstood the entire thing. "Can you explain it, professor?" I whisper, though I know exactly what he is going to say.

When he begins speaking, I don't look up, "The Dark Lord was once known as Tom Riddle. He went to Hogwarts. He had a group of…not friends, exactly, more like followers. One of them was called Avery. When the Dark Lord first ascended to power, these followers became the first Death Eaters. Avery married a young woman – I can't remember her name. Together they had two children: One boy and one girl."

"Mrs. Stoico and the Avery from your school days?" I interject. My face is still in my hands.

"Yes," Snape confirms. "Both Mrs. Stoico and her mother went missing at the beginning of 1981. The mother was found and killed. Mrs. Stoico, on the other hand –"

"Was never found," I comment.

"Until 1989, when – for the sake of understanding, let's call them Avery Sr. and Avery Jr. for the time being. Mrs. Stoico hid from the Dark Lord until 1989 when Avery Sr. found the both of you," Snape continues, seemingly unfazed by my interruptions.

"She was a witch," I say quietly. "She wasn't a Squib."

"No, she was a witch," Snape confirms. "And a clever one, considering she evaded the Dark Lord for so many years." He pauses. "Look at me, Charlotte." I obey. "I believe it was Mrs. Stoico who modified your memory. I do not believe she wanted you to know about magic. If you were raised as a Muggle child, you would not be where you are right now."

I close my eyes. "And Avery Jr.?" I ask. "He's a Death Eater?" Snape nods. "Does anyone know…about his father?"

"They know he is dead, that he was murdered, but to my knowledge, we do not know by whom," Snape says.

I rest my face in my hands again. There really is no one in this world that I can trust. Not even Mrs. Stoico was truthful with me. Even she had secrets locked away. I stand and go for the door.

"Where are you going?" the wizard asks.

"I…" I clear my throat, "I…um…I just…have to…go…" I reach for the door, and he lets me leave.

It's getting late, and I know that I shouldn't go wandering around Hogwarts, but I just can't stop myself. It's been far too long since my last conversation with McGonagall, and after everything I've just learned, I could seriously use a talk with her. So that's where I'm going. I'm not even worried about being turned away when I knock on her door. It takes her a few moments, but when she opens the door, she smiles at me and welcomes me inside. "It's good to see you, Charlotte," she says. This is what I love about McGonagall. It doesn't matter to her how late it is or how I should be in the Slytherin Dungeon instead of wandering about. She's so accepting of my problems that she doesn't even question me coming to see her. "Are you all right?"

"That's up for debate at the moment, professor," I answer dully. We both take our usual seats.

"What's happened?" she asks.

"Well, since the beginning of the term, Snape and I have been working on my ability to use Occlumency while I am sleeping, so Voldemort won't be able to read my thoughts while I'm at my weakest," I say. She doesn't say anything about Snape being my Occlumency teacher, which leads me to believe that Dumbledore has already informed her of what is happening. "He...unlocked – I guess that's the best word to use – some memories that…I had no idea I remembered…" I clear my throat to rid it of the painful lump. "Professor," I croak, "I don't know what to do anymore."

She leans forward in her seat. "What do you mean?"

"There's so much…there's so much weight on my shoulders right now…I mean, I have to…I have to master Occlumency because I desperately want to join the Order, but so much…" I close my eyes to rearrange my thoughts. McGonagall doesn't interrupt me. That's another thing about her that I thoroughly appreciate. She's patient. "How am I supposed to master Occlumency when so much of my life has been a lie?"

McGonagall's face is unreadable. "I've never studied Occlumency, Charlotte. I can't tell you," she answers.

I tap my hand on my leg. "I don't know what to do, professor," I repeat.

"What did Professor Snape see in your memories?" McGonagall asks.

She's bringing me back to rational thinking. This is good for me. This is a step forward. "That people can't be trusted," I say vaguely. "That everyone I've ever trusted has messed my life up more than help it." She's obviously confused. Granted, I would be too if I was being given unclear answers such as the ones I'm offering.

"What exactly did you see?" McGonagall tries again.

"Well, as it turns out, Mrs. Stoico is – well, _was_ – a witch," I begin.

"But…you said she tried to defend herself with a knife," the professor replies.

"The knife was her second option after her father – yes, the man who killed her was her own father – expelled her wand from her. She threw the knife at him, but that obviously didn't work." I try to recall everything I saw. Already, the memory is retreating back to the recesses of my mind.

"You said she was a Squib," McGonagall points out.

"I thought she was!" I erupt. "But she was a witch! A bloody witch! And she kept this from me!" I take a breath. "She and her mother were once servants of Voldemort, but they escaped him. Her mother had already been hunted down and killed. She had been protecting me."

McGonagall's lips thin. "So how exactly did she 'mess up your life' if she was protecting you?" she asks reasonably.

"Because, she didn't trust me enough to tell me that she was a witch!" I say. "Had I known, I would not have left after learning about my own magical abilities! I would have stayed there and talked to her about it! But no, I left, and now she's dead! I've always blamed myself for her death!" My voice is rising, but I can't stop it. "SHE GOT CLOSE TO ME, WAS A MOTHER TO ME! I LET HER IN! AND WHAT DOES SHE DO? SHE KEEPS SECRETS THAT LED TO HER DEATH! SECRETS THAT LED TO MY EXILE FOR _FIVE YEARS_. I WAS TEN YEARS OLD, PROFESSOR! AND I WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ALONE BECAUSE THAT WOMAN DIDN'T TRUST ME!" I realize too late that I've been screaming. I take a breath. "I was alone, professor. I had no one. I was almost killed. I was almost abducted." I swallow down the burn in my throat. "She ruined my life, professor."

"Charlotte," McGonagall says sternly. "Stop."

"It's true!" I argue. "She ruined it –"

"Charlotte!" she interrupts me.

"What?" I shout. I immediately regret it. I've shouted in front of McGonagall many times before but never shouted _at_ her, but I can't get control of my anger. "I can say whatever I want to say! It's my life! She was a filthy Death Eater! She served Voldemort!"

"Charlotte!" McGonagall snaps. Her tone forces me to stop screaming. "You have to realize that she was trying to protect you. She _did_ protect you. For nine years she protected you. Don't say something you're going to regret."

I bite my tongue to stop myself from retorting rudely to her. I hang my head a bit. She's right. I do regret what I've said. Mrs. Stoico, despite having lied to me, died fighting for me. Had it been any other professor that revealed this to me, I would have continued to rant, but this is McGonagall. I look her in the eye. We're silent for a few minutes. Finally, I say, "Professor…I…I'm really worried."

"Aren't we all?" she says softly.

"It's just…when Bellatrix found me a few weeks ago…she said I wasn't safe here, at Hogwarts."

This brings a genuine concern to McGonagall's face. "Did she say why?"

"She gave me a lot of reasons, honestly," I answer, "but there were a few reasons that really stuck out to me." I pause. "She said that if the professors found out who I am, they would try to kill me, especially you."

"Do you really believe I would do such a thing?" she asks with a tone of offense.

"No, professor, but she raised a good point," I reply. "If you could get revenge for the Longbottoms, would you do it?" She doesn't answer. "Who's to say that I wouldn't be used as that revenge?"

The witch across the desk simply says, "I would never seek revenge through you, Charlotte. You may be Bellatrix's daughter, but you are certainly not the same person. If I were to get revenge, it would be in a fight against Bellatrix herself. I would not use anyone as a pawn in a scheme to avenge the Longbottoms."

I nod. I wasn't really afraid of McGonagall ever harming me, but it feels nice to have that faith reaffirmed. "There's something else," I say quietly. "She said…she said that someone was going to die this year…" I meet her eyes and take a deep breath. "She didn't say who…only that it's the Dark Lord's orders for this person to die."

McGonagall doesn't seem fazed. "Professor Dumbledore has strengthened the defenses around the school. And when he isn't here, the Order is. There's always someone watching over the castle." Her words are comforting, but I still believe someone will die. Bellatrix seemed sure that they would succeed. Then McGonagall adds quietly, "Did she say who would be the one to kill this person?"

"No, professor," I answer. I still hate lying to her, but I believe she'll be put into more danger if she knew the truth. "She wouldn't tell me. She said that she had gone around Voldemort's knowledge to warn me but that she couldn't divulge his plans."

She just nods, so I assume she expected this answer.

Another few minutes pass between us in silence until she changes the topic to something a little – actually, a lot – less depressing, "I spoke with Christopher Collins."

It takes a second for me to understand what she's saying. "Oh…" I can feel the heat coming to my face. "Um…I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries…they asked me, and I couldn't say no."

McGonagall smiles. "I wanted to thank you. Collins and his friends are beginning to better understand the principles of Transfiguration. Next on the syllabus is the Switching Spell, which I imagine will lead to some issues for them. Collins and his friends are quite proud that they can Transfigure a match into a needle. Should they come to you for help, I would like to ask that, given you are able to handle the extra stress, you not turn them away. They were not coming to me, and they did not ask questions in class. I thought they stood no chance in of passing. Then they showed up about a week ago doing better than most of the others." I don't know why this makes me feel so good about myself, but it does. "So, I had to ask them. Collins was more than willing to say that Charlotte Rodgers was helping them."

"They suckered me into it," I laugh.

"Well, you're doing an excellent job," she says. "Have you thought about teaching as a profession?"

I laugh, but she doesn't. "You're serious?" I ask.

"Yes," the professor answers.

I stop laughing immediately. "I don't think I'm in any type of mental state to influence children."

"You will be, after we save you from your…duty," she answers. "You should think about it."

"I don't know," I reply. "I've kind of got my heart set on being an Obliviator." It's hard for me not to laugh after this, but I keep it down nevertheless. McGonagall wouldn't understand my joke. Snape would, but McGonagall wouldn't.

The look in McGonagall's eye tells me that she's not done trying to convince me to teach, but I make sure to give her my best "I'm serious" look.

I leave her office not long after that. But I don't go to the Slytherin Dungeon as she tells me to do. Instead, I go up to the Astronomy Tower. I wave my wand, and one of the telescopes becomes a chair which I gladly claim.

I stare up at the stars and the full moon. I can't help but wonder if Mrs. Stoico is up there somewhere, looking down at me. If she is, would she be proud of me or disappointed in me? I'm doing my best to resist Voldemort. Would that please her? Or would she simply be too upset with me for killing so many people that all she sees me as is a murderer? I'm afraid she would only see me as a murderer. Because until I do something good enough to counterbalance that, a murderer is all I see myself as.

She spent her last few minutes trying to keep me safe. And I thanked her by killing innocent Muggles. I bury my face into my hands. What have I become? What happened to that defenseless, innocent little girl from the orphanage? Where has she gone, and why hasn't she come back?

Approaching footsteps makes me sit up in the chair and draw my wand. I'm reluctant to lower my weapon when I see the white-blond hair of Draco standing at the entrance, just as frozen and confused as I am. "What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replies quietly.

I wave my wand at one of the other telescopes to give Draco a place to sit. He pulls his seat up next to mine and looks up at the sky, quite like I had been doing moments before. I watch him. "Do you remember the last time we were up here, Draco?" I say a few minutes later.

He looks over at me. "I do," he answers. "We were dancing, but it was cut short. Something was wrong with Potter."

"Time has changed so much," I whisper.

He nods but doesn't say anything else. We just look at each other. "So why are you up here, Charlotte?"

"Occlumency lessons with Snape led to some rather…awful memories that I have long suppressed," I say.

"With Snape?" he asks. "So…you know then? That he is a Death Eater?"

I nod. "I've known since the beginning of last year."

"Is that where you were over the holidays? With him?" Draco fishes for more answers.

"Yes," I don't want to lie anymore, "I was with him. He was…teaching me Occlumency and how to duel."

"Why did your mother not teach you? She's been teaching me Occlumency, specifically for my task. I'm sure she could have taught you as well." I don't know why he's so interested, but it feels too good having a student here at Hogwarts who knows a tiny bit of what it's like to be around Voldemort and his Death Eaters to not answer him.

"Bellatrix?" I respond. "We would have killed each other. Besides, the Dark Lord has assigned Snape to protect me, so I figure it's better for him to know my whole past over anyone else."

He drops his gaze. "She speaks of you often," he comments quietly.

"Who?" I ask quickly.

"Your mother," he answers. "She writes to me often, asking about you. Did you know?"

I shake my head. "I didn't think she cared about me until the other day…"

"When she came to find you?" he guesses.

"Yes, when she came to find me," I whisper. "Draco, what is your mission?" I know it's an abrupt turn in the conversation, but I think this is the time to ask him.

He looks back up at me. "I can't tell you Charlotte, but believe me, if I could, I would." Perhaps I was wrong…

I reach over and take his hand. "Draco, who is going to die this year?" I ask quietly. His gray eyes meet my icy blue ones. "Is it Harry?"

He shakes his head. "No…" he breathes. "I can't tell you."

I squeeze his hand. "You can. Voldemort will never know."

He keeps his eyes locked on mine for a few silent moments before he breathes, "Dumbledore."

My breath catches. "How…?"

"I don't know how," he weeps.

"Why would you agree to something like that?" I ask. "Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time. How…how can you expect…?"

"I have to restore the Malfoy name," he whispers.

"Draco –"

"He's going to kill me, Charlotte, if I don't succeed!" he cries. He pulls his hands out of mine and lifts the sleeve on his left arm. Again, I lose my breath. The Dark Mark, just like the one on Snape's arm, taints Draco's pale skin. "I've been chosen, Charlotte."

"Draco," I gasp. I stand and pull him to his feet so I can take him into my arms. I can't tell him, but I know he stands no chance of killing Dumbledore, not with the man's great power, the Order roaming through the castle, and the extra defenses around the grounds.

Just like me, Draco is a slave to Voldemort, being forced to do things that he does not want to do. But unlike me, he does not have an escape. He has to kill or be killed. His warm tears spill onto my shoulders. "I'm scared, Charlotte," he whispers.

"I am too," I reply.

"I'll do what I can…to postpone it until after Christmas…I'll try my best…"

I tighten my hold on him, and together we stand in the Astronomy Tower, surrounded by both the terror and the dread of what is to come. Neither of us speaks. We simply hold each other in comforting embraces to silently let the other know that we'll be here, that we'll face it together.

* * *

**So...Draco told Charlotte. What do you think she'll do with this information? She doesn't seem to believe he'll succeed...**

**Do you think she'll try to "help" him?**

**Should she have told McGonagall that Draco is the one who will be the assassin?**

**Review!**


	52. Chapter 52

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I have an idea of how she warns Dumbledore, but she wants to keep it from Snape that she knows. There's really not much she can do for Draco, really, except be there for him...and she's kind of already doing that... She needs Dumbledore alive because she knows Voldemort fears him. She believes he stands a better chance of destroying Voldemort than Harry does. **

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! Telling McGonagall would have led to a lot of trouble lol. She believes it impossible for Draco to kill Dumbledore (who wouldn't?) I've got lots in store for Bellatrix and Charlotte:)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! She isn't going to tell Harry. I'm trying to keep the overlapping plot as close to canon as possible. Harry _cant_ know...**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I believe telling Dumbledore is the right thing to do, but telling McGonagall would be more difficult, not because she wouldn't understand but because she would become unhinged trying to stop Draco from killing a good friend. But in the book, she believed Draco was innocent, so Charlotte can't tell her... She'll definitely be keeping track of Draco. Thanks for reading the update:)**

**a. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! She won't really help him-help him. She'll just help him stay strong...you know, comfort him and be there for him. If it came down to his imminent failure, I think she would help him, but if that doesn't happen, she won't help him kill Dumbledore. I agree that telling McGonagall would be more trouble that it's worth. The information does weigh heavily upon her...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 52**

When the first trip to Hogsmeade arrives, I am not allowed to go. Snape wants to work more diligently on our Occlumency lessons. He's been this way since the beginning of October. We work twice as hard during the week, and I no longer have the weekends for breaks. My tutoring sessions with Christopher, Emma, Julia, and Jacob have been cancelled until I've officially mastered Occlumency, which won't be until Dumbledore himself tests me when I'm seventeen, and that is nearly a month away.

I have the rest of October, which we're already halfway through. Then I have twenty-one days before I am officially of age, and I become that much closer to being Voldemort's slave. So it is with weary steps that I make my way to Snape's office. This time, I don't knock. He should be expecting me, so I'm not really all that worried about it. He hardly even looks over at me when I step inside. He's looking at his shelves, running his hands over the bindings of his books. "Ready for your lessons?" he asks.

"As ready as I'll ever be, sir," I answer. He doesn't comment on my monotone voice. Instead, he motions me to sit down, which I do, and points his wand at me. He casts the sleeping spell.

_I'm sitting in the Astronomy Tower, watching the skies. There is an obvious pain on my face. _Why does Snape always seem to find the memories I don't want anyone knowing about? _Draco comes in. I make a chair for him, and together we sit in silence, until Draco asks, "Why are you up here, Charlotte?"_

I've done fairly well up to this point at keeping things hidden in this memory. I don't want Snape knowing that I know Draco is to kill Dumbledore. _"It's been a rather long day, and the night sky always seems to calm me," I answer. "Why are you up here?"_

"_For the same reasons, basically," he replies._

_We're silent again._

"_Who are you supposed to kill, Draco?" I ask._

_He looks at me. "I can't tell you," he whispers._

"_Bellatrix told me that should you need help, I should be willing to do so. If the Dark Lord learns that I've hindered you in any way, she fears that my good standing with him will not be enough to keep me from punishment," I tell him._

"_I don't need your help!" he growls. Then he stands and leaves the Astronomy Tower. I turn back to the stars and just look at the sky._

Then I push Snape from my mind. He stares at me, as if trying to decide whether or not he's been lied to. "Did you really think he would tell you who is going to die?" Snape asks. "Do you really think he _knows_ who is going to die?"

I smirk. "Not at all, professor," I answer.

"This time, control what I see," he commands. He casts the spells at me again.

_I'm sitting in my little room at the orphanage. In my hands I hold a little doll. I'm playing with it. _I was so young and innocent and free back then. _"How was your day?" I ask it. It's silent, but I put it up to my ear anyway so I can listen. "That's good. That's good." My dream self smiles widely. Then she asks the doll, "Do you think Professor Snape will be happy at my success?"_

Then I force Snape out of my mind. He's smirking at me. "I think Professor Snape," he speaks in third person, "is proud of your success." Then he adds, "Because that means he's quite the teacher."

I can't stop the chuckle that escapes me. "So you believe I stand a chance of joining the Order?" I ask.

"I believe you do," he says, "but there is still one major lesson that you must learn before we throw you to the Dark Lord, especially if you are to be in the Order."

"Such as?"

"Fighting off the effects of Veritaserum," he replies. "A skill that we will focus on only at night. I'm in short supply of the antidote; therefore I cannot allow you to run amuck throughout the day with the potion in your system. It would be too risky."

I nod. "So we're through for the day?" I ask.

"Yes, you are free to go until Monday. You may go tutor the little first-years you seem to have an affection for, or you may go to Hogsmeade," he says. "But I would do the latter, if I were you. You see, you must rest your mind. You will need to be one hundred percent when you attempt to fight Veritaserum."

I stand and go to the door. "Oh, before I forget, professor," I say. He looks over at me. "That memory, the one you saw between me and Draco, was all a lie." His expression is hard to read. It could easily be pride or frustration. Have I mentioned that Snape is hard to read? I quickly open the door and leave his office.

I slowly walk through the castle. I might as well take the opportunity to go to Hogsmeade while I can.

I'm stopped by a loud commotion. Hagrid is rushing to the hospital wing carrying a student. I don't know her, but I know that she is on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. I stare blankly for a second before continuing down the hall. People go to the hospital all the time. I'm sure it's nothing serious.

This theory is blown apart when I reach the entrance hall. McGonagall darts through the door. The Golden Trio and another Gryffindor are walking up to the castle. "Hagrid says you four saw what happened to Katie Bell – upstairs to my office at once, please! What's that you're holding, Potter?"

"It's the thing she touched," Harry answers.

"Good lord," McGonagall says. "No, no, Filch, they're with me!" Until that moment, I hadn't seen Filch approaching. "Take this necklace to Professor Snape at once, but be sure not to touch it, keep it wrapped in the scarf!" McGonagall ushers Harry and the others through the halls. She glances at me, and in that moment, I decide not to go to Hogsmeade. I'd rather stay here and find out what's happened.

To do that, because I feel that I've asked Snape and McGonagall enough questions thus far without technically being allowed to know the answers, I will wait for Harry, Ron, and Hermione next to The Fat Lady. Well, not really beside her, because she annoys me, but I will be in an area where they will have to pass me in order to get back to the common room, which is where I hope they will be going after something like this.

Sure enough, after what feels like ages of waiting, I hear them approaching.

"Harry, Malfoy wasn't in Hogsmeade!" Hermione says exasperatedly.

"He must have used an accomplice, then," Harry replies. "Crabbe or Goyle – or, come to think of it, another Death Eater, he'll have loads better cronies than Crabbe or Goyle now he's joined up –"

I walk up to them. "What happened?" I ask them.

Hermione tries to answer me, obviously willing to accept any distraction from her argument with Harry, "Katie Bell was cursed –" is all she can say before Harry interrupts her.

"Tell them, Charlotte!" he commands. "Tell them that Malfoy is a Death Eater! It only makes sense! His father was one! He's replaced his father! _Tell them!"_

It takes a second before I say, "It makes sense, but I really don't think he is one, Harry. Voldemort would only use the best, and as much I hate to admit it, Draco isn't that good of a wizard."

Harry just stares at me in frustration. Then he shoves by me and goes to The Fat Lady. So much for that…I'll find out all the details from Hermione later. I walk away and head back to the Slytherin Dungeon. It's going to be much harder to "rest my mind" with all that is happening. I go into the common room. There are surprisingly few people here. I thought for sure the majority of first and second years would be in here, as well as those who have already returned from Hogsmeade. I take a seat on the sofa by the fire.

I stare into the blaze. Part of me feels that I am in the flames, not just watching it. The world around me is growing less and less tolerable, as if the fire itself is following me around. No matter how hard I try, the flame grows. Everything that happens is like a twig being tossed into the it, feeding it, letting it burn hotter. And learning Occlumency, speaking with McGonagall, settling my issues with Draco, and getting help from Snape is not enough water to squelch the flame, not with everything else that seems determined to watch my life burn around me.

My mind wanders to Bellatrix. I've tried not to think about what Draco told me, about her checking up on me. I don't understand why she won't just write to _me_ if she wants to hear about my life here at Hogwarts. But most of all, I don't know why I want to know these things. I need to keep her at arm's length for two reasons: For her safety (the whole path-of-destruction thing that follows me) and for my own safety. I can't risk becoming attached to my mother, because being attached to her will make it harder to resist Voldemort. Becoming attached to her will cause me to lower my guard when around her. And if she's teaching Draco Occlumency, she is obviously trained in Legilimency. I can't risk her knowing what's truly going on in my life.

Then my mind focuses on Voldemort. I might lose everything in a matter of two months if Draco cannot stall long enough. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. How is it that everything changed in my life over the course of a year? Until Lucius Malfoy caught up to me and captured me, I was doing fine. Now look at me. I'm sitting in the Slytherin common room of Hogwarts, debating my own life, asking questions that will never be answered. Though he might try, something tells me Harry Potter will not be able to stop Voldemort before July of next year. He has nine months to destroy the strongest Dark Wizard of all time. Voldemort has no time limit. He can let his plans fester and grow before he even has to take a stand. He'll want to secure everything that might be able to hinder him, such as the Ministry of Magic. He'll want the Ministry in his pocket before he begins his actual war. Or at least, if I were him, that's what I'd do, but I can't be sure of what he will do.

There is one thing that I do know for sure: I don't want Voldemort to take the one thing that is mine to give, the one thing that I can never get back, the one thing I've withheld from both Draco and Fred. Voldemort plans to take it by force when it is mine to freely give to whomever I please. That's one of my biggest fears…I don't want Voldemort to steal something as precious as that. He's taken enough in his lifetime; I don't think he deserves the one thing that is mine.

Some of the Slytherins enter the common room. Most of them file to their dormitories. I can't seem to make myself move. I can only stare at the fire, the burning flame that is my life at the moment. Slowly but surely, all the chatter silences. I must be the only one left, but I still can't get up. It's like gravity itself has decided to scorn me and keep me immobile for a few minutes of Charlotte-hating. But why shouldn't the earth have the chance to mock me? After all, the universe seems to be enjoying itself quite a lot.

A hand rests on my shoulder, and I inadvertently jump and gasp. There's a sad laugh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

I turn to see my cousin's gray eyes watching me. "It's fine."

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Draco asks.

"No…I was more…in a daze than actually asleep," I answer quietly.

He sits down next to me on the sofa. There is deep pain in his eyes. "Serving the Dark Lord is much harder than Bellatrix makes it seem…" he says miserably.

"Was it you?" I whisper.

His eyes meet mine. "If I do nothing, _he_ will become suspicious…but I never meant…not her…it was an accident…I never…" he covers his face with his hands. I can't tell if he's crying or not, but it sounds like he's muffling sobs. I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around him. He buries his face in my shoulder. I rub his back comfortingly. "How do people do this?" he whispers.

"How do they do what?" I reply quietly.

"I could…I could have k-killed her," he croaks. "How-how d-do people l-live with themselves?"

"Not without difficulty," I answer honestly.

Draco pulls away. "Right…sorry…" he says, as if just now realizing that I've killed many people.

"It's fine," I tell him. "I've learned to live with it." He leans forward over his legs and rests his head in his hands. I put my hand on his back to let I'm know that I won't leave him there alone. "You'll be fine, Draco. I swear to you, you _will_ be fine."

"How can you know that?" he mumbles, his hands blocking his mouth.

"Because _I'm_ fine," I say confidently.

He quickly sits up. "But you didn't have to kill someone you've known for six years!" he argues.

"No, but I watched my makeshift mother of nine years be murdered through the Cruciatus Curse, and I'm still living a fairly happy life," I say.

Draco nods slightly. "I need to…er…go…now…" And with that, he stands and goes to the dormitories.

It takes me moment before I stand. But rather than going to my bed, I leave the common room and walk to Snape's office door. I knock. Unsurprisingly, no one answers. I knock again. Snape still doesn't answer. So I knock a little louder. I grunt with frustration when he doesn't answer again.

I trudge back to the common room and grab a piece of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a quill. I write a quick message that simply says, "Open the door."

Then I dash back to Snape's office. I fold it and point my wand at it. After putting a charm on it, I push it under the door and wait. It takes almost five minutes before his door opens. He's scowling. "This had better be important," he says softly and dangerously. He crumbles the paper in his hand and tosses it to me.

"It is…well…" his lips snarls, "it's important to me," I conclude.

"What is it?" he asks, still obviously angry with me.

"I need you to make me a potion, professor," I say.

He closes his eyes. "What potion?"

"The Elixir to Induce Euphoria," I announce. "And I need it as quickly as possible."

He smirks. "Do you not remember what happened last time I gave you that particular potion?"

"I do," I admit. "I panicked and took the whole thing, leading you to Stun me." I determine my gaze at him. "But I need it."

He looks back at me with the same determination. "When do you need it?" he asks.

"As soon as possible," I say. "Before my birthday, if possible. Or before Halloween if you can do that. Just…soon."

He nods. "Is there another reason for you wanting this, Charlotte?"

"Not a one," I lie. "I…with all that's happening…I need…I need it."

His scowl fades. "I will have it ready for you as soon as possible."

"Thank you, professor," I say. Then I turn and leave, heading to my bed.

When I get to the sixth-year Slytherin girl dormitory, I quickly change and crawl into my bed. Am I doing the right thing here? I can't help but wonder if this is a bad or not. I'm only trying to help. He'll never have to know. He won't figure it out. No one will.

I _am_ doing a good thing. I only wish someone had looked after me when I was going through problems. I know what Draco is going through. I know how much he's suffering. And I'm going to do my best to help him through it, even if he won't tell me what's actually going on. I will not just leave him to suffer on his own. I refuse.

* * *

**Do you think it is a good or bad idea for her to slip Draco the Euphoria Elixir?**

**Do you think Snape will actually hurry to get the potion finished or just wait around?**

**Do you think Charlotte will succeed in keeping Bellatrix distanced from her?**

**Review!**


	53. Chapter 53

**Reviews have been low for these past two chapters :(**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I'll bring Moaning Myrtle in, but Charlotte isn't really going to know much about her. I mean, she and Draco don't really spend much free time together other than in the common room or walking to classes/meals. So Charlotte won't really come in contact with Myrtle much. Oh, now that you've asked me how Nearly Headless Nick was revived with the potion, I'm curious. I Googled it: No good answer. So, what I'm thinking is that since he was a ghost it was temporary? And when the basilisk was killed, he was revived because he was already dead? Or...maybe they poured it over him? I don't know...but now it's going to bug me lol**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! She'll probably end up telling Draco what's she's doing, but I don't really see him rejecting it. He knows how hard everything is, and I think he'll be appreciative of the idea. But if she doesn't tell him, a lot could come from that. So I don't really know yet... Snape is trying to do his best to help her, so he believes her. I don't think he'll wait forever before giving her the potion, but it certainly won't be as soon as she hopes. When the day comes, I think Bellatrix will end up being one of the people there for her. We can only hope that Charlotte's changed toward her by then...**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! Snape will definitely be suspicious. He can easily get the truth if he wants to, but he might hold off to see what she does with it. Letting her go wild on the potion would be enough embarrassment for her that she won't try lying to him again. I don't know yet; I'm still trying to decide...**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I think since Snape is...well, Snape...he won't rush the potion. One, he'll want it perfect since he's good with potions and doesn't want to harm is potion-making reputation. Two, it's Charlotte...he doesn't hate her, but he seems to enjoy making things difficult for her. This is a different circumstance, but maybe he sees it as a way of revenge for the holidays... She can't stay distanced from her mother forever. I've got big plans for the two of them. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 53**

Everyone, from McGonagall to Snape to students of all Houses of Hogwarts, seems to be excited about the coming Quidditch season. The opening game is between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only student in the school who does not care about Quidditch. But I've spoken to Hermione, who dislikes the sport as much as I do, and I don't feel so alone. Of course, she does have friends on the team, so she's excited for them. For me, though, the coming Quidditch season only reminds me of the inevitable fact that November is coming, and with it comes my birthday. Christmas is coming right after that, and with it comes my last holiday of being free from Voldemort.

My Veritaserum-fighting lessons begin in a few hours. Right now, I am sitting in the common room with Christopher and his friends. They're trying desperately to master the Switching Spell while I write essays for both Defense Against the Dark Arts class and Transfiguration class.

We've been in silence for nearly twenty minutes, which is an odd occurrence around these certain first-years. But I'm enjoying it. I told McGonagall I would try to help them, and I am, just not the way I was before, but that's because don't have as much time to spend with them as I did before. I'm just finishing up my Transfiguration essay when I hear, "Charlotte, look!" and nearly lose all my wits. I've been overly jumpy as of late. Nevertheless, I look at the excited Julia Mitchells (which is strange because she hardly ever speaks), who has successfully switched her cat's teeth with rubber. I smile at it. Then I stick my finger into its mouth. When it tries to bite me, it doesn't hurt. The other first-years, except for a scowling Jacob Butler, giggle.

"Can you change it back?" I ask her with a laugh.

She points her wand at it and tries. The teeth don't come back. Her face drops. She tries again. I can visibly see her begin to panic. She tries again. "Charlotte," she whispers frantically. She tries again. "Charlotte!" she's a bit louder this time. Jacob sniggers at her. "Charlotte!" she shouts when the teeth won't come back.

On my back, I can feel the eyes of nosy Slytherins. "Calm down, Julia," I say gently. "Take a breath." I wait until she does what I have commanded. "Focus. I know you can do it."

She nods and takes another deep. She sets her jaw determinedly and points her wand at the cat without giving me a second glance. When she says the spell this time, the teeth come back. She rejoices with a laugh. Her cat then hops off the table and retreats up the stairs, probably to the bed it shares with Julia.

I'm about to congratulate her on her success when someone interrupts me. "Hi," the voice says. I turn to see a boy of my year watching me. I've seen him speaking with Draco and Draco's friends, but I've never spoken to him before. He's reserved, but I've heard he is vain, most likely due to his mother being famous for her beauty, if the rumors are true. "May I have a word?"

I stand and walk a few feet away from the table, out of earshot of the rest of the students. "If you're going to ask me to stop helping them for some obscure reason," I begin warningly, "I'm afraid I have no choice but to say no. And any further arguments are fruitless, and therefore I will not have them."

He smiles. "That's not exactly what I was going to talk to you about," he says.

I pause. "Oh…" I can't help but feel slightly embarrassed. "Okay then…"

"I'm part of the Slug Club," he states, "and Slughorn is having a Christmas party thing. We're allowed to invite guests. I was wondering –"

"I just got out of a rather serious relationship," I interrupt him, knowing for sure where he's going this time instead of assuming and jumping the gun. "I'm honored, as I'm sure anyone would be, but –"

"I didn't mean to go as a date," he says abruptly. Again, I'm embarrassed. I'm actually wishing he would not have approached me in the first place. "I know Draco. He says the two of you are friends. I need someone to go with, but I didn't want to ask someone who would take things…in the wrong way. He said you had just come out of a relationship, so I figured you were the best option."

Now I'm feeling offended. I was chosen out of convenience, nothing else. "As flattering as that is," I say tartly, "I'm just not sure I want to be a choice of convenience. In fact, I'm not even sure I'll be here during the party."

"I haven't even told you when it is," he replies.

"I don't even know your name!" I argue.

He offers his hand. "Blaise Zabini," he says.

"Charlotte Rodgers," I answer, not accepting his hand.

"See, now we are officially acquaintances." He drops his hand, realizing that I was not going to shake it. I stare at him, unwavering in my decision. "Please just come to the party with me," he says. "My mother would be disappointed in me if I didn't show up with a date."

"And your mother would know if you went alone?" I ask.

"I keep nothing from her," he says sincerely.

"Take Pansy," I suggest. "She loves feeling important."

He smirks. "I would, but as my mother would be disappointed in me for not getting a date, I would be disappointed in myself for not having a beautiful date."

I ignore the heat I feel on my face. "Looks aren't everything," I say firmly.

"But they help," he counters. He huffs at the determination on my face. "Please come with me, Charlotte. You're beautiful and, from what Draco says, you're talented. Who knows, you might land a spot in the Slug Club."

"Because I so desperately want to be a part of that…" I reply.

He shifts around where he stands. "Draco said you might be difficult about it," he comments, "but I told him that you wouldn't." He meets my eyes. "Help me prove him wrong about you."

This time it's my turn to huff. "Any funny business," I warn, "and you'll regret ever having spoken to me."

He smiles. "So it's a yes, then?" he inquires. I nod. When he offers his hand, I accept it. "It's the twentieth of December. I'll see you then."

I smile back at him and head to the table with Christopher and the others. "What was that about?" Emma asks me.

They're almost as nosy as I was when I was their age. "Well," I say, "he was inviting me to the Slug Club Christmas Party."

"How do you join the Slug Club?" Jacob asks.

"You have to have influence, or know someone who has influence," I answer.

"And that's why you're not part of it?" Jacob says.

I meet his eye. "Not exactly," I reply. "I've never even spoken with Slughorn before."

"But you're going, right?" Christopher enters the conversation.

"Of course she is!" Emma announces. "That guy was stunning!" My mouth drops open. "You have something to wear, right?"

"Of course she doesn't!" Jacob says. "She's an orphan! She hasn't got anything!"

I clear my throat. Resting it on the table for subtly, I point my wand at him. "You really piss me off sometimes, kid," I say coldly. I pull the wand away. "But I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt."

His face turns red.

I look at Alphard's pocket watch. "I have to go now," I say.

"Where?" Christopher asks.

"Private lessons," I keep my answers vague.

"With whom?" he continues.

"The whole point of 'private lessons' is that they remain private," I reply. "I will likely not be back before you all retire for the night. If I am not, Julia," she jumps a little when I say her name, "congratulations. You were amazing today. Keep up the good work. The rest of you," I look at the others, "I have faith in you. You'll get it eventually." Then I leave to go to Snape's office.

I enter without knocking. He's not in the room. "Professor?" I call. I wait a few moments. "Professor?"

There's a rumbling on the far wall. It takes a moment for me to realize what's happening. The shelf of potions is opening. There is a room concealed behind it. Snape exits and freezes for a second when he sees me. "You're early," he says.

"Am I?" I reply mindlessly, completely distracted by what I've just seen. "I didn't realize…"

"So you just entered my office without my permission?" he questions. The door closes and is once again hidden in the open.

"Well…I-I've done it before…" I say quietly without fully being able to keep the anxiety out of my voice.

He smirks. "It's good to see you still fear me." He points to the wall. "My private chambers," he informs me. "All of the professors here at Hogwarts have an actual place in which they stay. You didn't believe I slept out in the office, did you?" There's no mistaking the mockery in his voice.

"I hadn't thought about where you sleep, professor," I answer sheepishly.

He ignores that comment and holds up a vial of what I assume to be a potion. "Veritaserum," he says. "Are you ready for your first lesson?"

"I believe so…"

"Have a seat," he commands. I do. He sits in a chair directly in front of me and unstops the top. "I am going to ask you the simplest of questions. I want you to lie to me. Understood?"

I grin. "You're encouraging a student to lie?"

He ignores my comment again. "I want you to take control of your mind, as you have done in our Occlumency lessons. Ready?"

I nod. He pours a few drops of the potion into a cup of tea that I have not seen until just now. "Free tea?" I say. "This is the best day _ever!"_ He doesn't laugh. I take the tea and drink all of it. "It's kind of gross…needs some sugar…"

"Focus," he says firmly.

"Yes, sir," I reply.

"What is your name?" he begins.

"Aurelia Lestrange," I say.

He makes an odd face but continues, "What name do you go by?"

"I'd like to go by Aurelia Lestrange," I say. I have to stop telling him this. I don't want him knowing this.

"Why?"

"Because it's my real name. When my mother took me to my grave, I realized that I _am_ Aurelia Victoria Lestrange, no matter what others may call me."

"Why haven't you told anyone this?"

"I fear they might think I want to serve Voldemort."

Snape shifts in his seat. "So, what do people call you?"

"I go by Charlotte Rodgers."

"When were you born?" I feel that Snape's questions are too straightforward.

"The twenty-first of November," I answer, "in 1979."

The professor frowns. "I need you to lie to me. Focus, Charlotte. Fight of the effects of the potion." I nod. "Who is your mother?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange," I say swiftly.

"Who is your father?" he asks.

"Her husband Rodolphus."

Snape sighs. "Focus, Rodgers," he commands. "I need you to lie to me. If you can't lie about even the simplest of questions, there is no way you will be able to join the Order."

I clench my teeth together. "I'm trying," I growl.

"Try harder." He looks into my eyes. "Who is Draco Malfoy to you?"

"My cousin."

"How do you feel about him?"

"I'm unsure at the moment. I both hate and care about him." I don't like that Snape can ask me virtually any question and get a truthful answer. This whole Veritaserum thing is a bad idea.

"Who is Fred Weasley to you?

I bite my tongue. I don't want to talk about Fred. But the answer is pulled from me. "I love him."

"Are you still dating him?"

"No."

"What happened?"

"I kept my duty to Voldemort from him but told his mother."

"Why would you do that?"

"Deep down, I was hoping I would never have to tell Fred, but I went to Mrs. Weasley to find a way to tell him, just in case…"

"What is your duty to the Dark Lord?"

I close my eyes, willing myself not to say it aloud. "I…I have to bear him a child," I find myself saying.

"Why?"

"He chose me as punishment for my mother when I was born," I say.

"Punishment?" his voice sounds as though he's straying from his planned questions, like he's never heard this before. And I don't want him to. "Why did she need punishment?"

"Her love for me rivaled her affection for the Dark Lord. He didn't take to kindly to this. I was going to be used to make an example of her: You never turn your back on the Dark Lord." I swallow. I don't want to talk about this.

"Who is Professor McGonagall to you?" he asks next.

"The closest thing to a motherly figure I have in my life," I answer.

"Do you know when you supposedly died?"

"Yes."

"What was the day?"

"The fifteenth of November."

"How old would that have made you?"

"Can't you do the math yourself?" I say angrily.

He smiles. "I see anger helps you block your mind…" he replies. "How old were you when you supposedly died?"

"Six days away from being a year old," the answer escapes my lips.

"You need to focus –"

"I'm trying!" I shout.

"Try harder," he responds curtly. "Now, who was Mrs. Stoico?"

"A liar," I say.

"And?"

"The first mother I ever had."

"And?"

"A witch."

"How was she a liar?"

"YOU KNOW BLOODY WELL HOW!" I scream.

Snape stands and moves to the other side of his desk. He puts a few teaspoons of sugar in what looks like another cup of tea. "Drink this. Calm down. It is easier to block your mind if you are in control of your emotions." I drink it and try to calm down. "How was Mrs. Stoico a liar?"

"When I learned that I am a witch, she told me she was a Squib but that I'd be safe with her. She was a liar. She was a witch. She could have protected me. She should have told me, and I would not have left her. She would not be dead right now."

"Who killed her?" Snape asks.

"A Death Eater by the name of Avery."

"Who was he?"

"Her father."

"What did you do?"

"I killed him…brutally."

"How many people have you killed?"

"I can't count the number."

"How many of them were innocent?"

It's like he wants to make me cry... "Not many."

"Why did you kill them?"

He definitely wants to see me break down. "Different reasons: They were going to have me arrested, they were going to hurt me, it just depended on the circumstance."

"How many of your murders do you regret?"

I swallow down the lump in my throat. "Almost all of them."

"Almost? Which ones do you not regret?"

"Avery," I say coldly. "And there were a few who I killed strictly because they wanted to kill me."

"Was you memory of Draco truly a lie?"

"The majority of it," I say. "We did talk in the Astronomy Tower."

"About what?"

I need to focus here. I can't let Snape know that I know about Dumbledore. I know Snape knows, but I'm sure he's doing everything he can to protect the headmaster. I'm also sure that Snape will find a loophole in his Unbreakable Vow. He's clever like that. But he cannot know that I know. This is much harder than the normal Occlumency lessons. "Draco is a Death Eater." I can't lie, not like Snape wants me to, but I'm holding back some of the truth, which is better than none at all.

Snape is expressionless. "How do you know this?"

"He showed me his Dark Mark."

Snape closes his eyes for a second. "What did he tell you?"

"That he will try to stall his duty until after Christmas, so I can have more freedom."

"Do you think he will be able fulfill this promise?"

"Yes."

"How are you tutoring sessions going?"

What a complete change of subject, but I guess Snape doesn't want to risk me being able to lie about Draco. "The first-years are extremely annoying."

"Do you believe that you've never been annoying?"

"Not like that."

"How so?"

"I had to grow up much faster than they did. I matured a lot faster. I've never been that annoying."

Snape smirks, like he doesn't believe what I'm telling him. But I believe it, which I guess is why I'm able to say it without any problems. "Do you have any desire to serve the Dark Lord?"

"Yes."

* * *

**I know, I know. It's a bit of a cliffhanger, and I'm really sorry. You might not believe me, but I try really hard not to have those. Sometimes it works out that way because the chapter would be way too long otherwise...I'll update first thing tomorrow:)**

* * *

**That being said, why do you think she has a desire to serve the Dark Lord?**

**What do you think about the Christmas Party?**

**What are your opinions on the first-years?**

**Review!**


	54. Chapter 54

**Reviews were up again on this last chapter:) That makes it soo much easier to write! Thanks everybody!**

**Thanks for reading, too!**

* * *

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! Jacob is a jerk, and I certainly want to hit him myself. But he becomes instrumental, so he's completely necessary. I had to have a way of getting her to the party, and a way of showing that everyone else is still just living. She and Draco are struggling through the days, and it kind of shows her that not everybody is going through that. Charlotte has a reason for wanting to serve him. That is explained in this chapter. It's okay if you don't review every chapter:)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I can't really say if she's lying or not. That comes up in this chapter:) Hahaha you're right, if she got together with Blaise, I would probably end it in an awful way...but she still loves Fred, so she's not really looking to be with anyone else at this point. I hate cliffhangers too. I hate reading them, and I certainly hate writing them...but sometimes I can't help it...oh well. I update every day, so it's not like a weeklong wait:) Thanks! And I'll definitely keep writing!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! You like cliffhangers? I think you're the first person who has ever told me that lol. I remember when I was reading _Catching Fire. _The ending was a such a cliffhanger, and I had to wait forever and a day before the next book came out. I almost lost my mind! I hate cliffhangers lol. But I can see how it would give you something to think about, because I certainly thought about the book a lot:)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I'm not a fan of Jacob, either, but I kinda like the other ones. The mandrake probably did something for him... If I could use any potion on a ghost? Well, that depends... Okay, so if I knew the person before they died, I would use the Aging Potion so I could see them as an old person (like how the only time Fred and George saw each other as old men was in GOF) because I would want to know what they would have looked like. What potion would you use, and why?**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I tried to make their reactions kind of like what an actual eleven-year-old would do. Something does happen, but whether you consider it big or not is completely up to the reader lol. It's important for me because I know where things are going...:)**

**a. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! I think Charlotte does LIKE Bellatrix more than she wants to admit, but I'm not sure if she's at the stage of loving her yet. I mean, she cares obviously, but I'm not sure I would classify it as love just yet. I have some things planned for the party, things that mean something for my overall plan, things that I doubt anyone will pick up on because it's not a big part lol. I like Christopher, only cause I know stuff about him that I haven't revealed yet, and I kinda like the girls. Jacob though, not a fan of him...**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I was eagerly waiting to update! I wanted to make it kind of random for him to ask her, considering they've never spoken. I can't wait for all of you to read how it pans out!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say if she's lying or not. That is answered in this chapter:) I can see how she would want to just get it over with. I mean...that would have to be a lot of pressure and stress... I think she kind of is tired of running, she realizes there really is no escape, despite what everyone is trying to tell her. I think, if she has the child, Voldemort would force her to be involved in raising it, so he doesn't have to be. Keeping things human was exactly why I put the Christmas party thing in there. I'm glad someone caught that! I can't say what happens at the party lol. Jacob is getting on my nerves too haha. If they find out her true family, it would be much later. I'm debating telling them...**

* * *

**CHAPTER 54**

Snape and I both freeze automatically. My hand flies to my mouth, as if that will draw the answer back, take it away, get rid of it forever. It's like time itself has stopped, and the world has gasped. I've never felt this much pressure, like every ear on the planet is straining to listen to me, to see if I've truly said what I think I've said. It's like every eye of every living creature is now turned in my direction to see what will happen. The professor is thoroughly shocked, so shocked in fact that he loses his voice, and it takes a moment before he asks again, "Do you have any desire to serve the Dark Lord?"

I don't want to answer, but it feels that someone is plunging a burning iron hand down my throat, gripping my answer, and wrenching it free from me. "Yes."

Again, Snape's face drops. He clears his throat. "Why?"

"I want to please my mother," I say. Where is this coming from? I've never even thought about serving Voldemort. I've never thought about…well, okay, maybe I _have_ thought about pleasing Bellatrix and making her proud of me, but I don't want to do that through serving Voldemort.

"Would you ever willingly serve the Dark Lord?" Snape's voice is strained.

"No," I answer firmly. Perhaps my chances of joining the Order are not completely diminished. It should be reasonable for someone of my age to want a mother's approval.

Snape seems to be fishing for questions that could make what I said go away. I'm not sure if he'll find any. What I said seems pretty serious in the grand scheme of things. But he's clever. "You said you view Professor McGonagall as a mother figure in your life," Snape replies. "Is this true?"

"Yes."

"If you had to choose between pleasing your mother Bellatrix or your mother figure McGonagall, who would you prefer?"

"McGonagall."

"Would you ever serve the Dark Lord?"

"If I am forced."

"But you have a desire to, based solely on pleasing your mother?"

"Yes."

Snape pauses for a moment. "Will you ever willingly serve the Dark Lord?"

"No."

Snape nods and stands up. "You are free to go, Miss Rodgers," he announces.

I remain where I am. I never thought I would say that I would serve Voldemort. But somewhere, deep in my heart, I've thought about it. I've thought about it for the sake of my mother. Snape's eyes are on me; I can feel it. But I can't pull my eyes from the floor. What else have I thought about? Okay, so the thought of having Voldemort's child being an honor has crossed my mind, but it freaks me out to think about it. I know that I don't want to do that. But I _have_ thought about how it could be seen as an honor that I am being given.

But I know, beyond anything else, that I want Voldemort to perish. It doesn't matter if it could be considered an honor to give him a child, because it is more of a curse. I also know that my desire to please Bellatrix is not as strong as my desire to for McGonagall to be proud of me.

"Charlotte," Snape's voice disrupts my thoughts.

It takes me a second to pry my eyes off the floor and look at him. "Professor?" I answer quietly.

"You should go now," he says gently.

"Right." I stand. "Sorry." I can already feel the tears coming. "Have…have I ruined any chance…of joining the Order?" my voice is hardly audible.

He's silent for a moment. Then, he finally says, "I don't believe so."

I leave his office without another word. There are a few Slytherins left in the common room, but I avoid them completely. I don't want to risk spilling my darkest secrets. So I go to my dormitory, crawl into my bed, close the curtains around myself, and close my eyes, willing sleep to take over me.

* * *

The next morning, I head back to Snape's office for our typical Occlumency lessons. I timidly knock on the door and enter when he calls back. His face is that of confusion when he sees me. "That's the first time you've knocked in a while," he points out.

"Yeah…well…you know…" I say in an empty voice.

He asks, "Are you sure you can handle lessons today?"

I smirk. "Wasn't it you who said Occlumency was better practiced when I'm emotionally compromised?" I plop down in my usual seat.

His face softens. "Seeing as you probably won't want to speak with Professor McGonagall about what happened last night…" he begins, "If you find yourself…in need of _someone_ to speak to…you may come to me."

I meet his eyes. "Everyone always talks about how hateful you are, professor," I reply.

"That's because I am," he interjects.

"But you're not," I say. He doesn't interrupt me this time, so I continue, "Why are you different towards me?"

He sits down behind his desk in silence. We sit there, watching each other. Then he says, "You and I are a lot alike. That is why."

Could he be any vaguer? This must be what it's like when I give him the same types of answers. "How so?" I ask.

"From the memories of your past that I have seen, it is clear, that while Mrs. Stoico cared very much for you, you did not have an easy life," he says. "You were beaten by some of the other orphans. And I'm sure that, from all of our lessons when you've seen into my past, you've pieced together that my father was not a happy man. I take pity on you, Charlotte, because you remind me of myself." He pauses. "I had a dear friend with whom I would share my struggles. Though she was understanding, she could not empathize. Her family was a quaint little family."

"And though McGonagall is understanding of my problems, she cannot empathize with me," I say.

He nods. "And I know what it's like to play both sides of the table. Seemingly against the Dark Lord while around the Order, and seemingly against the Order and Dumbledore when with the Dark Lord. I know what you will soon face, Charlotte," he says. "And I know how difficult it is going to be. I was hardly older than you when I joined the Death Eaters. When I became a double agent for Dumbledore, I was young. Older than you, but young nevertheless. Had there been another who was spying on and lying to the Dark Lord, the task would have been easier. But there wasn't."

"And you were alone," I say.

"And I was alone," he agrees.

"So…you're only nice to me…because…?"

"I see myself in you. I needed someone to help me along my path. I am offering you my help because I know you will need it. I am offering you my kindness because it is easier to accept another's help if there is no animosity between you and the one offering the help," he replies. I nod, not really knowing what to say. I haven't thought about how Snape has gone through what I'm going through right now. I hadn't thought about how he has been fighting for both sides of this war for so many years. The kind of stress that must put on a person… "And I respect your courage," he adds.

I meet his eyes. "So…if I find myself overwhelmed, I can come to you?"

He smirks. "That does not mean you may come to me about every little problem in your life," he says. "It means you can speak to me about facing the Dark Lord."

I nod. "So I can't come to you when my heart is broken over a failed relationship?" I ask sarcastically.

"Most certainly not," he answers sternly.

"I'll keep that in mind," I say.

His face becomes extremely serious. "If you try to talk with me about something as petty as that, I will not be held responsible for my actions."

"Very well then," I reply. "Shall we begin our lessons?"

"Indeed," he agrees. Then he raises his wand at me and casts the spells.

_Snape and I are in the sitting room of Spinner's End. "If you had to choose between killing a cat or killing a dog, what would you choose?" I ask him._

_The professor looks at me oddly. "A fox."_

Snape pulls himself out of my mind. "That never happened," he says.

"But you missed the best part!" I say. "You were about to break out in a snazzy dance!"

"I could have lived my entire life in blissful ignorance to the fact that you use your free time to imagine me dancing," he replies.

"And I," I say, "…have absolutely no idea how to respond to that so I guess…touché, professor."

"Again." Snape casts the Sleeping Spell at me.

_I am walking down the steps of Spinner's End. Snape is in his armchair. "Good morning, professor," I greet him._

"_Rodgers," he replies._

"_Have you ever had second thoughts about serving the Dark Lord?" I ask him._

_He sets his book aside and looks at me directly. "Never," he says._

I make Snape leave my fake memories once again. He's smirking. "I _am_ quite the teacher," he congratulates himself.

"And I _am_ quite the pupil," I reply.

"Now I believe your biggest weakness is you defense against Veritaserum," he says.

"I believe you're right," I agree, "but I'll get better."

"With my guidance?" he answers. "Most definitely."

"And then I'll be able to join the Order, yes?"

"I believe so." Snape walks to the door. "Until your lesson tonight then," he says in a subtle way of telling me to leave.

I walk to the door. "Until then," I say cheerily before leaving.

I have absolutely no idea where to go. There's no one that I really want to speak with for the rest of this free period that I have. I am usually rushing to my class after my morning lesson with Snape. It feels so odd to be able to dawdle around without any consequences. I hoist my bag higher on my shoulder. I guess I could catch up on the work that's been piling up due to the lessons. That's probably better than doing nothing.

Without further ado, I go to the library. It seems to be the most sensible place considering I don't want to deal with distractions. I take a seat by a window and look over the Hogwarts grounds. The beauty of this place never ceases to amaze me. But I have to get my work done, so I tear my eyes away from the magnificence that is the school and take out my things to write a Charms essay.

Despite my desire to stay away from distractions, one comes within minutes of me sitting down. It seems that the universe is not yet done mocking me. The Golden Trio is walking through the aisles. Hermione is fully engrossed in the books on the shelves while Harry and Ron look as if they could not care less about being in here. They probably just want to go practice Quidditch. I look away. Though I want to speak with them, I don't think it's the best time. I don't fully know what to say.

"You've been lying to us this whole time, haven't you?" an angry voice asks.

I turn and see Harry peering down at me. "I'm sorry, what?" I reply.

"You know what Malfoy is doing, don't you?" he says.

I glance at Hermione, who looks disgruntled, and Ron, who looks positively gleeful. "I don't know what you're talking about," I say confidently.

"Really?" Harry asks sarcastically. He drops his bag onto the table and starts rummaging through it. He pulls out the Marauder's Map, but a photo with moving people falls out as well. He doesn't seem to notice. He opens the map, slaps it down in front of me, and points to a name. "Explain this."

The name reads "Aurelia Lestrange." Beside my name are the names of Harry, Hermione, and Ron. I cock my head at it. "What does that have to do with anything?" I ask.

"Last time I checked," he says fiercely, "you were not connected to Bellatrix Lestrange or Voldemort in any way. Now you're claiming yourself to be her daughter!"

"It means nothing," I say.

"It means you're helping Malfoy, aren't you? And Snape too, right?" Harry replies. "They're both with him, aren't they?"

"You got all of this from seeing my real name on your little map?" I ask tartly.

He doesn't answer.

"For your information, Mr. Potter," I say, "I have accepted the fact that I am Aurelia Lestrange. That does not mean I am following Voldemort. It also does not mean that Draco or Snape is following him either. Got that?"

"Harry –" Hermione tries.

"Don't lie to me," Harry says dangerously. "It won't end well for you."

I rise to my feet so I can look him straight in the eyes. "Don't think that you're the only person who has the gall to threaten me, Potter. You see, there are things going on, things the likes of which you would never dream about."

"Such as?" Ron interjects.

I glance at him before I look back into Harry's eyes. "I can't tell you," I answer, "not yet. There are things that need to be settled, there are things that have to be figured out." I swipe everything of mine into my bag. "Next time, you should get your facts straight before you go accusing people of things."

I snatch up the map to thrust at him when I catch sight of the photo again. I hadn't really taken a good look at it a moment ago. I drop the map and pick up the picture. "Don't touch that!" Harry commands.

But it's too late. That red hair…those green eyes. I look into Harry's eyes and notice, for the first time, how green they are, the same green as those of this woman, the same green as the girl in Snape's memories. "Your parents?" I ask quietly.

His stone-hard face lets me know everything I need to know.

"Why does it matter to you?" Ron asks angrily. Apparently he doesn't appreciate me grabbing things that belong to his best mate.

"I…I have to…I have to go…" I stammer. I sling my bag onto my shoulder and dash from the library. I have nowhere I'm really headed, but I had to get away from them. I had to iron out my thoughts. I understand.

It all makes more sense now. Snape's hatred of Harry. Snape's misery. What Snape lost to the Dark Lord. The young friend who was there for him when he was younger. The young girl who hated him and married his worst enemy after Snape slipped and called her a "Mudblood." The reason he had no one when he first became a double agent for Dumbledore. The reason he actually turned against the Voldemort. How have I not pieced this together until now? This is the reason Dumbledore trusts Snape so much. Snape must have been devastated when she was killed that night, especially since she was killed by a man that Snape served. When Snape saw my memory of me killing the Muggle family, he didn't seem as upset about me killing them as he was about the people who lost them because of my actions. He was more upset for the people who lived than the people who died.

She is the reason Snape has become such a brave man. She is the reason he risks so much to destroy Voldemort once and for all. She is the one Snape could have had a life with, could have had a family with, could have been happy with. _Could have._ Snape's life has been dragged through hell. And for what?

Love. He loved her, possibly still loves her. He probably went to Dumbledore after her death, maybe even before to see if it could be prevented. Dumbledore must have seen Snape's absolute misery, must have seen his remorse for joining Voldemort's cause. That must be why he trusts the professor so much.

I don't know how I never saw it before. I should have seen this when I saw that girl's eyes. It was always her.

Snape hates Harry so much because he is living proof that the love of his life preferred another man over him, _loved_ another man rather than him. Snape loves Lily Potter.

* * *

**And she finally pieces together all of the clues I've been giving her! ****What do you think is going to happen now that she knows Snape loves Lily?**

**What did you think about his explanation for why he is so nice to her?**

**What about her name being Aurelia Lestrange on the Marauder's Map?**

**Do you think it is logical for her to want to please her mother? Do you think she might have ruined her chance to join the Order?**

**Review!**


	55. Chapter 55

**Thanks for the reviews!**

* * *

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I've been planning on her finding out for a long time now, actually before I even started writing the story. I'm glad I finally got around to her figuring it out. She accepted that her name is Aurelia Lestrange, but that doesn't mean that she's accepted her fate. She's still fighting that. She still has feelings for him _because_ she hasn't heard back. She doesn't know if she should move on or not, so she's keeping her feelings for him alive.**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad she finally pieced it all together, too. It become extremely important later that she knows his love for her.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I cried when I found out, too! I didn't really put her reaction other than her finding out. I mean, it did break her heart. That's explained in this chapter:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Oh, she definitely won't bring it up. She could get hurt like that lol. I thought it'd make sense for him to compare the two of them and their circumstances. She'll still have to go by "Charlotte Rodgers" considering it would not be good for people to find out her true parentage. I think I have to agree that her desire to please Bellatrix is more instinctual than logical. I hadn't thought about it like that. After all she's been through, she's definitely morally obliged to fight her duty. Are you from the country? I've never had someone say "ain't" in a review before! It made me really happy when I read it lol. She'll fight her duty the best she can. It's okay if you "waffle" on. I like long reviews!**

**Rubzdiamond: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you had fun at prom. The spelling isn't too bad for someone who's drunk haha. I can't wait for them to find out either! I'm so excited about that part!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I think it's okay that she wants to please Bellatrix, as long as she knows that she won't serve Voldemort willingly. That's a good idea about the potion...**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I would have loved that scene too, but you know how Snape is...he didn't want to put up with watching a fake memory, so we missed the best dance! hahaha**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! One of the most important part of this story happens because she knows about his love for Lily. I can't say what that is, of course, but it'll give you something to think about lol. I wanted Snape to make her feel like it was all him and not her :) I figured it'd make sense after Snape asked her all the questions that I guessed most of the readers would be asking. Charlotte will have to tell them at some point, but I can't say how that comes about or when it comes about.**

**emilyd105: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 55**

The rest of the day passes in robotic motion. Nothing quite seems the same. I've caught myself on many occasions wiping silent tears off my face, tears that I'm shedding on behalf of Snape. I don't know how he's done it. How do you keep a love like that alive for twenty years, especially when she's been dead for nearly seventeen? Not to mention the fact that he's probably loved her longer than that, but I just don't know it.

But I have to put on a façade for my Veritaserum defense lesson later. I fear that Snape will see something is wrong with me and that the potion will be too difficult for me to resist if he inquires about my behavior. And if he finds out that I know about his deep-rooted love for Lily Potter, he might try to harm me. I mean, he's mellowed out toward me, but I don't think that would go over well. There must be a reason why Snape has kept this a secret, other than it being an embarrassing piece of information.

Now that I know this, I am shocked that Snape didn't murder me last year when I threw it in his face that his only friend Lily married his worst enemy James. She hadn't been just his friend. He had loved her. I don't know how he contained his anger. I've done so much that could easily merit a beating from him.

So it is with a well-hidden heavy heart that I walk to Snape's office. I stop before I knock, take a deep breath, and plaster smile on my face. I push the door open. "Good evening, professor," I say in a chipper voice.

He gives me an inquisitive look before replying, "Good evening. Ready for you lessons, I presume?"

"Of course," I say confidently. Snape pours two cups of tea. "Did it make you jealous that _I _got tea when _you_ didn't, professor?"

He smirks. "I've learned that tea is more desirable when there is someone to drink it with." He puts some of the Veritaserum in one of the cups and hands it to me. I put sugar in it and take a sip. Snape does the same. A moment later, we both place the cups back on his desk. "Ready, then?"

"Yes, sir."

Snape sits down in front of me. "You need to try your hardest to lie to me," he says. I nod. "What is your name?"

"Aurelia Lestrange."

"What do people call you?"

"Charlotte Rodgers."

He sighs. "It might help if you attempt to put yourself in another's mind," he suggests. "Let's try again. What is your name?"

"Aurelia Lestrange," I repeat. Snape groans in frustration and continues attacking me with questions.

After two gruesome hours of trying and failing miserably to lie to Snape while under the influence of Veritaserum, I groggily trudge to the Slytherin Dungeon. It's after midnight, and I think I could fall over on the spot. I've never been so mentally tired in all of my life. Snape has cancelled our Occlumency lessons in the morning. We will resume the following day depending on how long he spends trying to help me with my defense against the dreaded potion.

I wearily lift my legs to make it up the steps. All I know is that these lessons are going to be the death of me. I don't have another competent thought as I hit the soft mattress.

* * *

I have approximately three weeks until I turn seventeen and will be tested for a chance to join the Order. In my Veritaserum lessons with Snape now, I can effectively bend the truth. For instance, if he asks me why I felt compelled to tutor Christopher and his friends in Transfiguration, I can tell him that I felt bad for them. But I can keep back the fact that I felt bad for them _because_ they remind me of some of the orphans I grew up with.

My biggest problem is when he asks me straightforward questions, the ones that require only a "yes" or "no" answer or the ones that cannot be bent in any way, such as asking my name. Snape has been trying desperately to get me to put myself in someone else's mind and answer them the way that person would, because apparently that helps.

So today, as I walk to Snape's office, I am resolved to stay in Draco's mind. I will answer all the questions the way he would, or at least that's the plan.

I enter Snape's office and take my usual seat. Just like the beginning of all of these lessons, the professor prepares a cup of tea for each of us and puts the Veritaserum in mine. Once I've finished my cup, his questions begin.

"What is your name?" he asks. I feel as if he always starts with this.

"Au –" His face is already showing signs of irritation. "Draco Malfoy," I say. And it sounds so weird for me to be saying that, but I go with it, because this is something that needs to be done.

Snape's irritation fades just a tad. "When were you born?"

"June 5, 1980," I say without a problem, and I am slightly shocked that I remember Draco's birthday.

The professor is openly pleased with me. "Who is your mother?"

"Narcissa Malfoy."

"Your father?"

"Lucius Malfoy."

"Very good," Snape comments. "Now, Charlotte, why do you want to join the Order of the Phoenix?"

My Draco psyche fails me. "I want to destroy Voldemort," I say, then moan at my mistake.

Snape looks me in the eye. "If the Dark Lord learns that you are part of the Order, you will need and viable excuse. Try again. Why do you want to join the Order?"

I gag on my words before I can say them. My brain just doesn't want to lie. I cough a few times, but can't speak.

"Try harder," he commands. "Why do you want to join the Order?"

"I –" my mind stops me.

"Why do you want to join the Order?" he repeats.

I don't even try to speak this time.

"Silence is a poor alternative to answering a question," Snape says. "You see, the Dark Lord will require an answer from you. Therefore I require an answer. Why do you want to join the Order?"

"I want to be a part of the destruction of Voldemort," I say.

Snape grunts at my failure. "You have to get better, Charlotte."

"I'm _trying!"_ I shout.

"You're not trying hard enough!" he snaps.

"I AM!" I screech. Snape and I are both on our feet now, but it works more in his favor considering how much taller than me he is. "Have you _ever_ been under the influence of this stuff? It's more difficult than you would think!"

"You believe I've never been questioned with Veritaserum before?" he asks, his voice oozing with mockery. "Do you not know who I am? Do you not already know that the Ministry does not trust me? Do you not think that they submitted me for questioning after the Dark Lord's fall? Do you think they would just take my word for it without any doubt?"

I bite my tongue. All the wind has been taken out of my argument. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm failing miserably. There's no chance of me joining the Order at this rate. I have three weeks to develop a strong enough defense against Veritaserum that I can lie under any circumstance. I collapse back into my seat lean forward to rest my head on my knees. After just a moment of this, I pull myself back up and lean back against the seat. "I can't do this," I say.

"You're not going to give up," Snape says.

"I don't a see any point in continuing!" I scream. "I'm not going to learn this in three weeks!"

Snape closes his eyes as if praying for patience. Then he says, "You and I both know that my loyalties are to Dumbledore –"

"Do we?" I ask.

He meets my eyes. "Yes, we do," he replies. He takes the top off the Veritaserum and pours a few drops into a cup of tea. I hold out my hand, expecting him to hand it to me, but he puts it to his lips and downs it. My mouth drops open. Just when I thought that Professor Snape could surprise me no more, he goes and pulls a stunt like this. "When I first joined the Order of the Phoenix, the Dark Lord questioned my motives."

"Why did you just drink that?" I ask him.

"When I told him my reasons, a certain someone – your mother – convinced him I was lying," Snape goes on without answering me. "The Dark Lord then put me under the influence of Veritaserum. Had it not been for my skills in Occlumency, all would have been lost."

"Why did you just drink that?" I repeat.

"To show you that it is possible to fight of the effects of Veritaserum," he finally answers.

"So…you want me to ask you questions like you've been doing to me?"

"That would be the general idea," he says.

I smile. "What is your name?"

He smirks. "Draco Malfoy."

"That was an easy one. Even I can lie about that," I comment. "Are you a pureblooded wizard?"

"Yes."

"Are you a part of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"No."

"Are you a Death Eater?"

"No."

He makes it seem so simple. And it's extremely irritating. "Okay…those are basic," I say. He smirks at my failure to trip him up. But I will do this. "Have you ever been in love?"

He pauses for a split second. "Yes."

Apparently he truly wants me to think that he has never been in love. I know he has, so I know he's trying to confuse me. But I'll get the truth out of him somehow. "Did you hate Sirius Black?"

"I'm not even going to waste my time lying about that," he replies. "I hated him very much."

"Did you hate James Potter?"

"Yes."

"You're supposed to be lying to me, professor," I say. "Do you hate Harry Potter?"

"Yes."

"That's better. At least you're lying now –"

"Not lying," he interrupts me.

"Very well then," I reply. "Did you hate Lily Potter?"

I'm guessing on more of an instinct that anything, Snape says, "No." Then, as if he thinks I didn't register what he's just said, he adds, "Why are you so interested in the Potters?"

"I'm asking about all the Marauders," I answer. "Lily Potter just happened to be married to James Potter." Only after I've said this do I realize that I have accomplished it: I've lied to him under the influence of Veritaserum. I smile but don't mention it. "Did you hate Remus Lupin?"

"Yes."

I've come to the conclusion that he's been telling me the truth in these "hating" questions. But I'm okay with that. It means I was right. Lily Potter was the only one whom he said he didn't hate, and he did it as an instinct. He truly does love Lily. The thought kind of wrenches my heart again. She's been dead for so long, yet he still loves her.

"Giving up so soon?" he asks mockingly.

"Yes," I say. "It's obvious that you're more skilled in this than I."

"You will become a member of the Order. You will learn how to do this," he replies.

I roll my eyes.

"You have three weeks, and I will not stop until you can lie as easily as I can when under Veritaserum," he continues.

I look at the clock and stand.

"Where are you going?" he asks me abruptly.

"Our lesson time is up, professor," I answer.

"I don't believe I gave you permission to leave, Rodgers," he says.

I stop moving. "But…our time is up…"

"Time is up when I say it's up," he replies.

"But…it's late…" I try again.

"The last time I checked," he says, "you didn't care about Quidditch, which is the only thing taking place in the morning. It would be easy enough for you to not show up." His eyes darken. "You will stay here until you've lied to me at least once – and I don't mean pretending you are someone else. I want a lie."

I sit back down. I can't very well tell him that I've already lied to him. That would cause far too much chaos. And I'm not really in the mood to deal with chaos at the moment. "Okay then, professor."

"Why do you want to join the Order of the Phoenix?" he asks.

I open my mouth to answer but stop. Would it be best to tell the truth then lie later? I don't want him to think that I've already lied once by me lying so quickly. "I want to take part in the Dark Lord's defeat."

Snape mutters something to himself. "You have to get better," he states.

"I'm trying," I say.

"Prove it. Why do you want to join the Order?"

Again, I pause. It has to look like I'm struggling to answer. "Well…" I reply, "I thought…it'd be useful…to have someone in the Order, someone who can find out their plans…"

"And if I told you that I already have an informant inside the Order and that you don't need to put yourself at risk?" Snape asks.

"Well…" I scramble for an answer, "I play the part of Charlotte Rodgers quite brilliantly. Everyone at Hogwarts believes me to be completely against the Dark Lord. I'll come of age in three weeks' time. They will wonder why I did not join the group designed for the Dark Lord's defeat… I have to keep up appearances."

The professor gives me an odd look. "How long have you been able to lie under the effects of the potion?"

My heart nearly stops. "I…I think I've been able to do it this whole time…I just didn't know I could," I reply. "I told myself that I couldn't, because I felt that it was too difficult. I think if I hadn't convinced myself of my inability to do it, I would have lied to you a while back." I stand to my feet. "Are we done here?"

"Hardly," Snape answers. "Sit down." I obey. "Just because you lied to me once does not mean that we are through. In fact, we're far from it."

I sigh but do not put up a fight.

Hours later, when Snape feels that he's questioned me enough, I go back to the Slytherin common room, completely and utterly exhausted. But I don't want to go to sleep just yet. I want to rejoice in my victory over Veritaserum. Snape says I haven't yet mastered Occlumency, but in my mind, I'm close enough to be able to claim that I have. Our lessons will continue, of course, until Dumbledore tests my abilities. Snape has already told me that we will not stop there, either. Once a month we'll practice to make sure I keep everything sharp and effective.

But right now, all I want to do is sit down in front of the fire. So I do. Everything is approaching so quickly. Everything is changing so drastically. At least I know one thing will forever be the same: A fire crackles as it burns, and the crackling is relaxing. No matter what happens, the fire will always work the same way. The thought itself calms my heartbeat.

"Charlotte?" I hear.

I force myself to look away from the fire. Christopher is standing at the bottom of the steps that lead to the boys' dormitory. "What are you doing down here?" I ask him. "You should be in bed."

"I could say the same to you." He walks over and takes a seat next to me on the sofa.

"I just got done with some lessons with Snape," I tell him the truth.

He looks at the clock. "But it's like…three in the morning!" he replies. "Why are you just now finishing."

"It's a really long story," I say. "Why are you up?"

"Jacob talks in his sleep," Christopher answers. "So I thought I'd take a break from listening to his dreams and come enjoy the common room for a while."

"Do you do this every night?"

"Not every night, but a couple times a week," he responds.

"That's awful," I state. We're quiet for a few minutes. Both of us simply watch the flames of the fire.

Then Christopher whispers almost inaudibly, "Do you ever have a feeling that something bad is going to happen?"

This is not what I had expected from this young boy. I look over at him to find his deep blue eyes, which are filled with tears, watching me closely. "Sometimes," I say. "Why do you ask?"

"What happens when you have the feelings?" he croaks.

"Different things…" I can't go into detail about my past with him. It would leave him scarred.

"Do…do people ever die…when you have these feelings?" he murmurs.

"It depends," I answer honestly. I fold my hand over his little one. "What's wrong?"

The young boy turns his whole body to face me and crosses his legs beneath him. "Charlotte…I…I keep…I keep having these…awful dreams…"

"Is that the real reason why you can't sleep?" I ask him quietly.

He nods, tears swelling in his eyes again.

I wrap my arm around him and pull him close. "What happens in these dreams?" I ask him.

He ignores my question and asks one of his own, "You're closer to You-Know-Who than most people think, aren't you?"

"What makes you think that?" I ask, keeping my nerves out of my voice brilliantly.

"The first time you tutored us…you were so passionate about how awful _he_ is," Christopher says. "People only speak like that when they know firsthand his horror."

I don't know what to say.

He continues, "My parents talk about him the same way, not as passionate as you of course, but close to it."

I tense. "Why?"

"I had an older sister," he whispers. "She was sixteen. But she…she was killed…last July."

I tighten my hold on him and kiss the top of his head. "Christopher…" I gasp.

"You would have liked her," he goes on.

"Did she not go here, to Hogwarts?"

"My parents wanted to home-school us…but when Helena – that was her name – when she died, my mum said she couldn't deal with that anymore. She was…devastated."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask quietly.

"You remind me of Helena," he whispers. "That's why I first started speaking to you… Helena and I were the only ones to inherit the blue eyes of my father's family. Yours are icy blue rather than deep blue, but they remind me of her." His tiny body trembles in my arms. "I…I hope that doesn't bother you…"

"Of course it doesn't," I tell him.

"I miss her so much!" he weeps.

I run my hand through his hair. "I understand." I prop my feet up onto the table in front of me. Christopher scrunches himself together on the sofa and rests his head in my lap. I continue playing with his hair. "I'm not going anywhere."

We sit there on the sofa until Christopher cries himself to sleep. I close my eyes and plead for sleep to take me as well.

* * *

**Poor Christopher... What did you think about that?**

**What did you think when Snape took the Veritaserum? Her asking questions about the Potters?**

**She's so close to being able to join the Order! Do you think she'll make it? That question will be answered in Chapter 58, I believe:)**

**Review!**


	56. Chapter 56

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! Isn't it, though? I can't have all the first-years have an overly happy life though. It comes in later.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I feel sorry for him too, but it was necessary… I try not to do things like that if they can be avoided. I guess I could have bypassed it being Christopher or something (that'll make more sense when everything comes together) but it adds a bit more depth since it's him. Thanks. I wasn't too sure how the Veritaserum lessons would turn out, but I'm glad you think they were alright. I can't say what Dumbledore will do. That's answered in Chapter 58, which is going to be posted in like...two days or something :) That's my favorite part about updating every day: I don't have to wait too long for the readers' reactions!**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It was sad…I was debating on whether or not to have that happen, but I had to because it's needed later on, and it adds more depth to the story if it's Christopher's sister and not some random person… I figured her asking about the Potters would be the best way for her to confirm or refute her theories. It's okay if you're review isn't that long. To me, a review is a review!**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I like Christopher too! He's probably my favorite of the first-years! I can't say whether she will or not! That's answered in Chapter 58. It won't be too much longer until you find out!**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! That's what I said when I wrote it…poor Christopher…**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! It is somewhat important, and it'll come up later, but I can't say how much later because the time is important too… He'll definitely try to figure it out, but that's more of a behind-the-scenes type thing, since I don't follow him much in the story. His sister's death does affect her, but I can't say how. The answer about the Order will be revealed in Chapter 58. I'm glad you think it's unpredictable. I try really hard for that. Can I just say that when you said "big, black, American divas" I died laughing? Like…my whole family gave me a weird look. I'm from the South (good ole Dixie Land), so I know a LOT of people like the ones you described! Ahahaha! It made me really happy to read that, because a lot of them are exactly that: Divas. It's awful…lol**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! I'm sure Charlotte would appreciate your confidence:) She'll have to defy Voldemort; there's no denying that, really. She certainly won't go easily. She turns seventeen (in the story's timeline) in like two days or something like that!**

**FreeSpirtSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I felt bad for Christopher, but for future things to happen, it was necessary :( Charlotte was surprised he took the Veritaserum as well! But he had to prove his point: Veritaserum can be overcome**

**moonfeather58: Thanks for the favorite!**

**dancer4813: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 56**

"The first game of the season!" is the annoying, sudden sound that wakes me up that next morning. Christopher is gone. There's no way of knowing when he left. But I'm not alone in the common room. Slytherins bustle about, most of them ecstatic about the Quidditch game. I, on the other hand, pry myself from the sofa's comfortable clutches and make my way up to my bed.

I close the curtains around me, fold myself into a ball, and collapse onto my side. I've never been this tired in all my life. My mind is screaming at me, begging me never to do this again. Little does it know that I will be doing this until Voldemort is defeated once and for all. Pansy's voice echoes through the room (I hate sharing a dormitory with her), "Do any of you know where Draco has run off to? We were supposed to have breakfast together in the Great Hall."

I pull my blankets up closer to my face. "Are you sure about that?" Millicent Bulstrode asks.

Another one of the Slytherin girls in my year, Daphne Greengrass, says, "From what I hear, he was seen going into the spare classroom with Charlotte Rodgers."

"They are no longer together!" Pansy shrieks. "He wouldn't go in there with her! He hates her!"

"Says who?" Daphne asks her. "I've seen them talking a lot this year."

"She's a filthy half-blood!" Pansy screams. "He wouldn't waste his time with her!"

"What makes you think she's a half-blood?" Daphne replies. "People say that she's claimed to be a pureblood, a half-blood, and even a Muggle-born. I don't think anyone truly knows her blood status."

"Even if she _is_ a pureblood, she isn't worthy of Draco!" Pansy exclaims.

"Have ever really even talked to her?" Daphne asks. "I mean, _really_ spoken to her?"

"How can we?" the voice of Tracey Davis replies. "She's an oddball. She keeps to herself, doesn't really talk to anyone besides Draco, the professors, those little first-years – only God knows why she'd speak to them – and Potter and his friends on rare occasions. And –"

"She can't even really be considered a true Slytherin," Millicent interrupts. "What kind of Slytherin would willingly speak to those disgusting Gryffindors?"

"Something's off about her," Tracey answers. "I don't know what it is, but there's something…something _wrong_ with her."

I've never heard this about myself. I'm inclined to listen.

"How can you know something is 'wrong' with her if you've never even spoken to her?" Daphne replies.

"But I have spoken to her," Millicent says. "Last year, she took my copy of _The Daily Prophet_. When she started reading about the Death Eaters who escaped from Azkaban, she freaked out."

"But who didn't?" Daphne argues. "They were _Death Eaters_ who _escaped Azkaban!"_

"Why are you defending her?" Pansy speaks up.

There's a moment of pause. "I'm not defending her," Daphne answers. "I'm simply saying that you can't go around tarnishing someone's reputation when you've never spoken to them –"

"Because she won't let us," Tracey cuts her off.

"Something has obviously happened," Daphne continues as if she hadn't been interrupted. "I don't know what it is, but there has obviously been something tragic in her life. There's been something tragic in Draco's life as well. It's no wonder if they get back together."

"They're not back together!" Pansy erupts. "She cheated on him with that blood traitor Weasley! He hates her as much as the rest of the Slytherins do!"

"And 'the rest of the Slytherins' here means you, Crabbe, and Goyle?" Daphne says.

"Why do you care so much?" Tracey laughs. "You don't know her!"

"No, I don't," Daphne responds, "and neither do you. What if she was in this room right now? Would you still be saying these things?"

"She's not," Pansy answers. "She was asleep in the common room –"

"Another mark of her odd ways," Millicent interjects.

I slide the blankets off of me, take out my wand, and cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself in case they check.

"Maybe Daphne's right," Tracey says quietly. "Who's to say she didn't come back up here?"

"Someone would have seen her!" Pansy says. The curtains around my bed are thrown open. "See! It's empty!" Pansy points her finger at Daphne. "You need to decide where your loyalties are: With us – _your friends_ – or with her."

"I'm just saying that my sister's talked to her before, and she isn't near as bad as you make her out to be," Daphne answers.

"She's right, you know," I find myself saying. All of them look at me without seeing me. I take the Charm off. "I'm much worse than you make me seem." Tracey and Millicent both draw their wands, and I silently expel them. I aim mine at Pansy and take a step closer to her. "You see, Pansy, I'm not a threat to you because Draco and I are friends; that's not why you hate me so much. You're much more complex than that, aren't you?"

I see her throat gulp. "What would you know?" she sneers.

I smirk at her. "Oh, believe me, Parkinson, I know more than the safe amount," I wink at her. Then I tuck my wand into my robes and leave the dormitory.

When everyone else goes down to the Quidditch pitch for the game, I wander around the castle aimlessly. Sleeping was never going to happen after my confrontation of Pansy. My blood was boiling much too hot for that. It gives me great joy to know that Pansy still hates me because she has a thing for Draco. I really don't see him ending up with her. I just have this feeling that he doesn't care much about her. Of course, I'm not going to tell her this. I'd rather her keep her hopes up so they'll crash harder later on.

As if he knows that I'm thinking about him, Draco comes around the corner. We both stop. "Why aren't you at the Quidditch match?" I ask him. "I thought you were Seeker."

"With everything going on, do you really think playing Seeker matters much to me anymore?" he replies.

"I see your point," I say.

"Why aren't you down there?"

"I don't like Quidditch," I answer simply.

"But you used to love going to the games," he replies.

"Well," I say, ignoring the heat on my face. "I only went to the games because of you."

He smiles. "I see your point. I was quite stunning up on my broom, wasn't I?"

I ignore his comment. "So where are you going now?"

Draco's smile fades. "I'm working on…my task…"

"Oh…"

We both remain quiet for a few minutes until he says, "Since your future is riding on this and all…why don't you come with me?"

I'm taken aback. I thought he was hell-bent on me not knowing. "What?"

"You should know what I'm doing…so you're prepared…" Without letting me give him an answer, Draco puts his hand on my back and leads me through the corridors. We stop at a place I know all too well. We're at the entrance of the Room of Requirement. The door appears in the wall, and we step inside. All I see is clutter, generations upon generations of students' hidden items. If I came in here by myself, I would never know how to find my way around. Draco takes me by the hand and leads me through a maze of random objects, some stacked almost to the ceiling. It makes me nervous. What if it all caved in? Where would that leave me? I know where it would leave me…on the bottom of a heap of junk, never to be found again.

We stop in front of a large black…thing. "What is this?"

"It's a Vanishing Cabinet," Draco answers. "There are few things I'm going to do to…fulfill my mission, but this is the final act, the one that will pull through if nothing else does."

I don't have the heart to tell him that Dumbledore will not be killed, that he is powerful enough to stop it. "What will it do?" I say instead.

"There is one identical to it at Borgin and Burkes," he says. "I'm going to connect them…as a way to get the Death Eaters into the castle."

So Harry was right. Draco _was _doing something at Borgin and Burkes that day they saw him. "And you believe it will work?" If the Order is truly guarding the castle, the Death Eaters have no chance of killing Dumbledore. Either way, someone is going to die. If Draco succeeds (though I doubt he will), Dumbledore will die. If Draco fails (which will probably be what takes place), he will be killed.

"It has to work. It's the only way," he answers softly. "But it's complex and very temperamental –"

"Like Pansy," I say without thinking.

He smirks. "Just like her."

"I hear you were to have breakfast with her," I comment.

"D'she say that?"

"Yeah, she was asking around for you," I reply.

"I don't know why she does that," he says quietly. "I've told her that there's too much going on for me to date. But she doesn't like to take 'no' as an answer."

It takes a lot for me not to laugh at this. I have to change the subject. "How do you plan on fixing this?"

"No idea," he whispers. "I just thought I'd show you…you know…so you will have an idea of what will happen…"

I nod. "I'll stop distracting you then, shall I?" He stares at the Vanishing Cabinet. I put my hand on his arm in goodbye and retrace my steps to get out of the Room of Requirement.

There are more students walking around now, which leads me to the conclusion that the game is over. That's when I decide to go speak with McGonagall. As always, she lets me into her office without a second thought. I take my usual seat. "So who won the game?" I ask her casually.

"Gryffindor," she answers proudly. "Potter turned out to be rather good Captain. He's banded together a talented team."

"Did you expect any less from a boy who's been playing Quidditch since he was eleven?" I ask sarcastically.

She smiles. "I expected no less from him." It's no secret that she's fond of Harry Potter, as most of the professors are, with the exception of Snape of course. "I noticed that you weren't there."

I shake my head. "I was trying to sleep."

"Sleep? At this hour?"

"My lessons with Professor Snape went longer than we planned. I didn't get back to the common room till…roughly three this morning," I say.

"Professor Snape kept you up that long?" she asks with a disapproving tone.

"He's determined to help me get into the Order," I reply, "so I'm not complaining."

"I wondered why he seemed so unresponsive when I tried speaking with him after the match," she says. "I guess he's just as tired as you are."

"Well, I would certainly hope so," I laugh. "If not, then I want a dose of whatever he's taking to stay awake!"

She smiles, but changes the subject. "Young Mr. Collins tells me that you have successfully taught Julia Mitchells the Switching Spell," she states.

"I was thoroughly surprised, to say the least," I reply. "I didn't expect her to get it so quickly."

"She's a brilliant student if one can only get her to try. She's terrified of making mistakes."

"I noticed that when she tried giving her cat his teeth back," I say, trying to keep back my laughter. "Besides, professor, you can be intimidating to make a mistake in front of."

"Do you find me intimidating?" she asks.

I smile, thinking back to my first meeting of her. "Well," I answer, "when I first met you, I half-expected you to kick me out of the castle…"

"So that's a 'yes,' then?" she replies with a quiet chuckle.

"Definitely," I say. "I was horrified by you. Then I spoke to you about Transfiguration, and I felt like a complete buffoon. So, in short, yes. You were very intimidating. That is, until you rescued me from Snape."

"I believe you Stunned him," she says.

"That's right," I say. "I thought he was going to kill me…" I smirk, knowing this is a lie. "Granted…he _did_ have the right… He used to scare me too. Then he started teaching me Occlumency, and I learned that he's not near as horrifying as everyone makes him seem."

"So you trust him now?"

"I do," I answer. "He knows pretty much everything I've ever done because of the lessons. I really don't have a choice but to trust him."

She seems to be debating something. Then she asks, "Was there anything in particular that led you to trust him? Something he's said or done?"

"Not really, professor," I say. "It's more of a compilation of everything. Why do you ask?"

Again, she seems to be debating something. "I was wondering what makes Professor Dumbledore trust him so much. I figured that if you have spent hours with him, no doubt seeing into his memories as he has done to yours, you might know."

I close my eyes. I _do _know. Or at least I think I do: Snape's love for Lily is what makes Dumbledore trust him. But I can't tell McGonagall this. There is a reason why Snape and Dumbledore see fit to keep this a secret. "I have no idea," I lie.

"Then I guess we'll probably never know," she replies.

"I'm guessing you're right," I say. "And that's going to kill me! I'm such a nosy person!"

McGonagall smiles. "Then I guess you'll never be able to give up trying to figure it out."

"And when I do – yes, I firmly believe I will – you will no doubt be the first person I tell." I wring my fingers together. She opens her mouth to speak but must see a look on my face that makes her stop.

"Is there something you wish to tell me?" she asks after a few minutes of my silence.

"It's just…I got a letter the other day…from Bellatrix…" I say. "I would have told you sooner but…" I drift off.

The professor takes a moment before asking what it said.

"That I cannot trust anyone, that if people know who I am they'll kill me. That I have to watch myself because things are going to be dangerous this year. She said that the Order is patrolling the castle at night – I don't know how she knows that. She said that if anyone in the Order finds out who I am, they'll take me for leverage," I say.

"Do you have this letter?" she asks.

"I burned it."

"You – you _burned_ it?" she replies.

"I was angry." Heat flushes my face even though I wasn't the one who burned the letter. "You know how I am…Snape describes me 'emotionally compromised.' And I think he might be right…I didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late…"

"If anyone has the right to be 'emotionally compromised,' I believe it is you," she says kindly. Harry does as well, and I know she knows this, but I doubt she wants to bring up other students when I'm confiding in her. "After everything you've been through, I would be shocked if you were not."

"See, why can't everyone be as understanding as that!" I say.

She smiles sadly at me. "Because not everyone realizes what you've been through."

I look away from her. I don't want to leave, and I certainly don't want to stop talking to her, but I want to forget this subject. The more I think about what people do or do not understand and the more I think about what is to come, the more I feel myself sinking into a deep mire that tightens its hold on me the more I struggle.

"So how is the tutoring going, other than young Miss Mitchells learning the Switching Spell?" she asks.

I smile. Professor McGonagall has this way of pulling me out of that deep pit with the simplest of questions. "Really well, actually," I answer. "They're all, for the most part at least, rather good students."

"'For the most part?'" she repeats. "Why do you say that?"

"Jacob Butler," I say, "is not shy to voice how he feels about Voldemort." I can tell she doesn't like me saying Voldemort's name because her lips become thin every time I do it, but she never stops me. My guess is that she feels I have the right to say it with my approaching duty; I'm glad someone sees things my way. "And he holds the Dark Lord to a very high esteem."

"He's a pureblood, isn't he?" McGonagall then asks.

"Yes, professor."

"Slytherin?" I nod. She goes on, "Then I guess I'm not too shocked. Most pureblood supremacists believe He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is doing the right thing."

"How can they believe that?" I ask.

"They're blinded by their own prejudice," she says.

"I did my best to put things into perspective for him."

"And what did he say?"

"I just sort of told him off, then went straight into the lesson. He was quite frustrated with me, honestly, but he didn't have a chance to say anything else," I tell her. "I think he might come around." McGonagall smirks, and I don't know why. So I continue, "He talks less and less about Voldemort each time I see him. I think he might be realizing – why are you smirking?" Curiosity gets the better of me almost every time it's thrown into the mix.

"I'm just thinking to myself, and not for the first time mind you, that you would be a great teacher – you're already talking about your students with professors. You're already spilling your woes and hopes concerning a certain student."

"I'm going to be an Obliviator," I say. "I'm gifted with memory charms." I look at Uncle Alphard's pocket watch. "I have to go – and no, this isn't because of your statement. I legitimately have to go. I told someone I'd meet them." She nods to me. "Goodbye, professor." I leave her office and head to the Slytherin common room, where I will simply sit down next to Christopher and pray that there is no other depressing story from his past that I need to hear.

* * *

**P.S. All the girls I mentioned in the first part are Canon, they just didn't show up often.**

* * *

**What about Draco showing Charlotte the Vanishing Cabinet?**

**Charlotte telling Pansy off?**

**Any ideas why it was Daphne who I chose to be the one to try to calm everyone down?**

**Review!**


	57. Chapter 57

**Thanks for reading! You'll never guess what day it is the story;)**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it'd be best if Charlotte had an idea of what Draco is planning. I wasn't originally going to have him tell her, but things are rough for him, and it'd be easy for him to tell someone he trusts, someone who he thinks won't try to stop him. Not everyone is against Charlotte, but Pansy hates her. I wanted to make it clear that Pansy hates her lol. She might make a few friends…you never know… I can't remember if Greengrass is a Death Eater in Canon, so that's not why I chose her haha. You offered a lot of good reasons, but I hadn't thought of half of those lol. I just wanted the opinions of some of the readers. It'll become obvious later as to why I chose Daphne.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Daphne wasn't mentioned much in the books. I did research to make sure I got the sixth-year girls right. I didn't want any errors there, so I can assure you that she's actually in the books. She's the older sister of Astoria Greengrass. I didn't even think about her sneaking up behind them! Ugh! I'm so disappointed in myself!**

**afiske1254: Thanks for reviewing! I know you reviewed Chapter 3, but I hope you're still reading up to this point as well. I went back to see what you meant in your review. I think you're talking about how she convinced McGonagall of her innocence when she Stunned Snape? If that's what you're referring to, I did it cause I thought it'd be good to have them get off on the wrong foot from the beginning.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Draco _does_ trust her. And you're completely right: Draco is being torn apart. I wanted Charlotte to be someone who could be there for him, all things considered. So the two of them are confiding in each other a lot more, because what other choice do they have? In Draco's mind, no one else besides Charlotte really understands what it's like to be forced to do the Dark Lord's bidding. I'm glad you're still enjoying reading it! I'm definitely still enjoying writing it!**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I thought Draco should have someone to talk to about what's going on, someone who knows just as well as he does how evil and intimidating Voldemort can be. I loved when she told off Pansy too! I loathe Pansy, I mean _loathe _her, so I enjoy having Charlotte outwit her. I don't really know what happened to the rest of your review hahahaha, but that's okay:) I like that you reviewed in general!**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I loved having her tell Pansy off! I thought it was great! I like having animosity between Charlotte and Pansy, because Charlotte gets along with most people. But I do enjoy writing their little spats…**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! I can see how it'd be a good idea for me to choose Daphne since she isn't spoken about much in the books, but that actually isn't the reason why lol. I hate most of the other Slytherin sixth-years, as prejudice as that is… I don't know if the Greengrass family believes in Voldemort's ideas or not. I tried looking it up, but I couldn't find anything… but it's definitely possible. The thing about Christopher makes me sad too.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I It amuses me when Charlotte tells Pansy off, too! I think you might like a certain part of this chapter… *wink wink* Charlotte and Pansy have a small confrontation in this chapter as well!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 57**

My eyes slowly open. The room is still dark, thanks to the curtains around my bed. I'm unsure what time it is, but there is one thing that is blindingly obvious to me: It's my birthday. Since I was ten years old, every birthday has drawn me closer to my fate, but now I'm closer than ever. It's a Thursday, which means I have no classes today. No one would notice if I just went missing. No, Snape and Dumbledore would notice.

Dumbledore is testing me to see how far along in Occlumency I have come, and Snape will be there as well, probably to make things more difficult for me. I roll out of my bed – quite literally in fact – and land on the stone floor. I push to my feet, ignoring the pain in my knees. This is going to be a long day. I go to the restroom and look in the mirror.

My long, curly black hair is frizzing, most likely due to the cold sweat I broke into during my sleep; it eerily reminds me of my mother's hair. My icy blue eyes are duller than usual. My skin is clammy. It's as if my body itself is responding to the fact that I'm closer to Voldemort now than I have ever been. I turn the water on and splash a handful into my face. Heat washes over me. I stable myself by fastening my grip onto the sink. I can't handle this. I can't join the Order. And most of all, I can't face Voldemort. Another wave of heat overtakes me. With this one, I rush to the toilet. I vomit everything out of my stomach. It's going to be a long day.

I struggle to my feet and go back to the sink. Then I get in the shower and let cold water run over me, silently hoping that it will wash away this awful truth. But it doesn't, of course; nothing will. So I get out of the shower, put on my clothes, and go back to the mirror. I rinse my mouth out with cold water and stare at my reflection again. "Got any ideas?" I ask it.

"We could run," I answer myself.

I laugh quietly. "Yeah, right. Let's just run away from Voldemort. He'll _never_ find us."

Before I can stop myself, I've clenched my fist, and I'm smashing it into the mirror. The glass shatters around me. My hand immediately starts gushing blood. But I don't scream out. I stare at the gashes in my skin that look foreign to me.

A few pieces of the mirror linger in my hand. I take out my wand. "_Reparo,"_ I say. The mirror flies back into place, taking the pieces out of my hand as well. "_Aguamenti." _With the water now spouting from my wand, I wash my blood off the mirror.

"Do you do this every morning?" a voice asks me. I nearly drop the wand, but stop myself. In the reflection, I see Pansy standing behind me.

"Not right now," I say fiercely.

"I was just wondering why you would torture yourself before the day even begins," she says innocently.

"Yeah, I'm real sure that's why you're asking me," I reply. "Leave now."

"I thought this would be a happy day for you, Charlotte," she continues. "You _are_ seventeen now. You're a legal adult."

"Shut up," I command.

"Why is that so horrifying to you?" she asks sweetly, almost as sweetly as Umbridge spoke.

I turn around and face her. "I don't want to hurt you, but I'm not opposed to doing it."

"What are you going to do?" she laughs. "Hit me with your injured hand?"

This is obnoxious. Then a thought hits me. I lower my voice, "No, I won't. I'll have Draco do that for me." I wink at her. "Then I'll repay him…very well." I won't be able to look at him for the next few days after what I've just said, but it was totally worth it. Pansy's whole face drops. Tears form in her eyes. As I walk by her, I make sure to ram into her. She doesn't attempt to stop me.

I open the door to leave the common room, and I realize just how searing the pain in my hand truly is. But I resolve in my heart not to cry over it. I have too much to worry about to cry over physical pain.

So I walk to Snape's door and knock on it. He doesn't answer, but I don't care. My hand is hurting too badly to care about punishment from the professor. I barge into the office. If anyone can heal this, it's him, because I certainly do not want to go to the hospital wing. This isn't worth all of that.

I expect Snape to be in his private quarters, which is why he didn't come. I'm shocked when I open the door to find him sitting at his desk, staring down at papers in front of him, completely unaware that I've entered the room. "Professor," I say quietly. He looks up at me, looks back down the papers, then looks back up as if just realizing that I'm standing there.

"Charlotte?" he says. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" I don't really know what to say, so I hold up my hand.

"What have you done?" he asks as he stands to his feet and clicks into professor mode.

"Like you said, I'm emotionally compromised. I just…freaked…and smashed a mirror…" I answer.

"Why?" Snape replies as he searches through his shelves.

"I…I realized that…it's my birthday…" I stammer.

"That's a good thing. It's your birthday," he replies.

"Do you know who you're speaking to?" I ask.

He stops and looks over at me. "Merlin! Charlotte…I…" Snape stutters. He grabs a vial from the shelf, transfigures a bowl onto his desk, puts his hand on my shoulder, and leads me to the desk. Gingerly, he takes my wounded hand and puts it over the bowl. "This might burn." I nod. The professor pours the potion onto my gashed hand. Sure enough, it's like a hundred little fires igniting on my hand. I gasp and try to pull my arm back, but his grip on my wrist is too strong, and my hand is left at the mercy of his potion. My other hand grabs his arm and squeezes as hard as I can while I try to keep back my screams. The pain ceases as fast as it came.

I sink into the chair I usually sit in and watch my hand as the wounds close themselves. Snape stands in front of me. "Why did you maim yourself?" he asks.

"Why did you not realize who you were speaking to?" I retort.

"I had a long night. I was preoccupied with my thoughts," he says. "Your turn."

"I have a long day ahead of me. I was preoccupied trying to calm myself," I say, trying to copy what he said. Snape smirks at my response.

"Are you going to be all right?" he asks.

"Define 'all right,' professor," I answer.

"I'll take that as a yes. Now, if you would please leave my office. I've some things I need to get done before our meeting with Professor Dumbledore." He pulls me to my feet and leads me to the door. "Come to my office after breakfast." I nod. "Happy Birthday." Then he closes the door.

I don't understand. I've never seen him like that before. But I can't very well ask him about it right now, so I make my way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

There is already a large amount of students in here. I guess I was in Snape's office longer than I thought. I take a seat next to Christopher. It's become a normal thing for me to sit with the four of them. What is not normal is Draco walking over and sitting beside me. "Good morning," he says. "Morning, Butler."

"Hello, Draco," Jacob greets him.

This is my chance to ask. "How do the two of you know each other?"

"My father works with his father in the Ministry of Magic," Draco answers.

"_Used to_ work in the Ministry," Emma mutters.

"What was that?" Draco asks.

"It's nothing," I say swiftly, cuting Emma a warning glance.

"Happy Birthday, Charlotte," he whispers to me.

Tears threaten me. "What's so happy about it?" I breathe.

"What are the two of you whispering about?" Christopher asks me.

"Sixth-year homework. It's dreadful!" Draco says.

"But you have more free time," Emma argues.

"More free time to do homework," I reply. I don't know why, but something feels right about sitting here with the four first-years and Draco. It feels natural, though it's completely weird at the same time.

The post owls swoop into the room. A brown one drops a letter in front of me. I know this owl. It's the same one that delivered me a letter from Bellatrix earlier this year. Then another owl drops a box wrapped in brown paper. There is a letter connected to it. The last owl that comes in causes my heart to flutter. It's Errol, the Weasley family owl. The letter it drops nearly lands in the jam, but I'm able to snatch it before that happens. I make eye contact with Draco. "I don't approve of the blood traitors," he comments, "but I can see that what I've just said means nothing to you. If you must read them, read them in private and tell me what they say later."

I don't know how to reply to this, so I grab the three letters and the wrapped box and dash back to the Slytherin common room. I catch Snape's eye before I disappear from the Great Hall.

I practically hold my breath until I sit down on my bed in the Slytherin Dungeon. With trembling hands, I take the letter I received from Errol, the only one I had held close to me the entire way to the dormitory, and gently open it.

_Dear Charlotte,_

I skim down to the bottom of the page. I have to make sure this is from Fred. I read the last line seven times before I grasp what it says. "Mrs. Weasley…" I mumble. The letter drops to the mattress. It wasn't from Fred. It was from his mother. It was from Mrs. Weasley. I pick up the letter from my mother. I don't want to read Mrs. Weasley's letter. It will only remind me that Fred will never forgive me.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ I know you have been dreading this day for many years, but I cannot be more ecstatic for you. Things are not as bad as you believe them to be. Aurelia, you must keep your chin up. You will soon learn that what you must do is an honor above all honors._

_I would have given anything in this world to spend this day with you every year of your life, but not everything works perfectly or the way we desire. Though I desperately want to be with you, I cannot. I would have given anything, paid any price, to be there with you when you woke up and realized that you are of age. But that cannot happen because of where you are and where I am. I fear that I might not be able to see you over the Christmas holidays either. If Draco has not succeeded in his task by then, the Dark Lord will be furious. It will not be good for you to see the Dark Lord in his rage. Our Master is a most gracious wizard, but he is not so when he is angry. I do not want you in danger._

_ I have a few ideas that might solve this issue. Christmas will be a time for the two of us to be together. There are some things that I am trying to do that will allow me to see you. _

_ I would love to write to you more often, but it is not safe. I would love to have written more in this one letter, but my time is short. The Dark Lord is anxious with Draco's slow process. As I said in the last letter, if he comes to you for help, you must help him. Again, watch yourself. You must burn this letter, Aurelia. It would be wise to burn my first one as well. _It's like she knows… _I fear that if someone finds them, you will be incriminated._

_Your mother,  
Bellatrix _

I reread the letter three times before I point my wand at it. One thought crosses my mind: Should I show it to Snape? I reach a conclusion; no, I shouldn't show him. I need to keep this to myself, and possibly McGonagall. But that will have to be later. No one needs to know about my mother writing to me. I set the letter on fire until all that's left are ashes. I wipe them of my sheets and grab the wrapped box. I tear the paper off of it, and my heart leaps again. Inside this paper is a Skiving Snackbox from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. I scramble for the letter that was attached and begin reading.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ I know it's been a while since you sent your letter to me. I've been trying to write this response since the first day I got your letter, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it._

_ You turn seventeen today. I know what that means. It means you're closer to You-Know-Who than you have ever been. I know I should be there for you. I know this is not how we envisioned your birthday going. And I am truly sorry._

_ The reason I am writing this is because I do not believe I can get over you having a child with You-Know-Who. _I wipe my tears and push on. _I've tried and tried and tried, but the thought of him having you will not leave my mind. My work has been lacking, and I just cannot do this. I truly am sorry. And I truly do love you. But I cannot keep on like this._

_My sincerest apologies,  
Fred_

My wail escapes me before I can stop it. Fred…I thought Fred – Fred of all people – would be able to see beyond what I must do for Voldemort. And to send this on my birthday? I never saw Fred as a prick before. Maybe now I do. I reluctantly grab Mrs. Weasley's letter.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ I know this is a difficult day for you. You've been on my mind a lot recently. I've tried speaking to Fred, tried to make him understand. But he's stubborn, as his red hair suggests. Of all the traits that run in the Weasley family, that one is the one I despise the most. I've struggled with him about this since the holidays. I've tried speaking with him every day._

_ I believe he will come around, Charlotte. Don't give up on him, no matter what he says. He's confused and angry. He would not speak to me for the first month after he learned that I knew of what you will have to do. But he came around for me, and I believe he will do the same for you. He still loves you. Don't give up on him._

_ I know you probably do not want to hear this today, but I have to say it. Happy Birthday!_

_ Things are going to get much better. The Order is stronger than ever. We will stop You-Know-Who._

_Sincerely,  
Mrs. Weasley_

I sit motionless on the bed. I don't know what to do anymore. A high-pitched whine bursts into my ears, and that's all I can hear. There's nothing else. I'm already in that dreaded black pit I feared falling into. Fred's letter just shoved me into it, and there is nothing I can do to escape. A tear slips down my face.

"Charlotte!" I hear.

"Here!" I shout back, though I have no idea how I managed to speak.

Emma and Julia barge into the room. Emma hands me another letter. "This came for you moments after you left the Great Hall," she explains.

"Draco told us to bring it to you," Julia adds.

I take it. It doesn't really matter at this point. It's probably just from Tonks, but even she can't cheer me up now. I should go speak with McGonagall. She's the only one who can really lift me from the holes I wind up in all the time. "We'll…just be going then…" Emma says.

"Thanks," I whisper. The two girls leave the room.

I turn the letter over and open it.

_Charlotte,_

_ I need more time. Forgive me._

_Fred_

More pain courses through my body. I wail again, and fold myself up. This can't be happening. Why is it always me? I snatch the Skiving Snackbox and Mrs. Weasley's letter and shove them into my trunk.

Clutching both of Fred's letters to my chest, I storm from the dormitory and straight to Snape's office. I should go to McGonagall instead, but I have a feeling that Snape will be more apt to make Fred seem like the bad guy. And that's what I need right now. I need someone to convince me that Fred is not worth all of this pain. Snape is the only professor I know will tarnish Fred's memory enough that I will not go through this every day.

* * *

**I have so many things that I could ask...but I'll keep it minimal.**

**Bellatrix. What about her letter? Do you think Charlotte will have to spend Christmas with her?**

**Fred. The letters, obviously... What did you think? Do you think he'll ever really have enough time?**

**Mrs. Weasley. What about her letter?**

**Do you think Snape will help Charlotte, or should she have gone to McGonagall?**

**Review!**


	58. Chapter 58

**Thanks for reading! This is the chapter where she's tested to see if she can join the Order!**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I can see how Snape's reaction could be bad. But don't you think he cares enough about her that he honestly doesn't mind her coming to him about stuff? Hahaha, thanks! I thought it'd be nice to have her ask that. I like having the two of them have random little arguments. They have that type of mentor-student relationship.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I know right! I felt awful for her, but I've got plans for her…so…yeah, it couldn't be stopped. I want Fred to come around as well, but you never know…some things are just too difficult to get over.**

**UncleMeg: Thanks for reviewing! I've never really thought about me keeping the conflict going "passionately" but now that you mention it, I am passionate about. You should hear me talk to my friends about this story lol. **

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I liked the letters too. I thought she needed to get _something_ for her birthday, even if not all of them would good. She'll have to go to McGonagall. She always does. McGonagall is just one of those people in her life, you know? I don't know what happened to it either, but it certainly gave me a good laugh. Don't worry about it, it happens sometimes. I'll definitely keep writing! I hope you keep reading!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! A better solution to what? The Bellatrix thing? If so, I've got that all planned out. She might not have to spend the holidays with her, or she might end up having to. I can't say. But either way, she'll be doing something for the holidays: Staying with Bellatrix or staying at Hogwarts with McGonagall. I haven't decided if Voldemort will tell her, or if she ever officially finds out. And by officially I mean through one of the Death Eaters or Voldemort. She gets tested for the Order in this chapter:) I can't say if Fred gets over it… I don't like for the two of them (Snape and Charlotte) to get all deep in emotions with each other because Snape isn't like that. I'm not letting the McGonagall relationship go. It'll stay for the duration of the story:)**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I tried to make it a little upsetting, the whole thing with Fred. It's not over; they're still trying to work things out, but you know how that goes…it might not ever be worked out. I can't say; I don't like spoilers. Snape was supposed to seem a bit out of it. That was completely intentional :)**

**FredWeaslyForever15: Thanks for the review and the favorite and the follow! Fred did it because she kept so much from him…it's hard for him to see past that. All he can think about is Voldemort taking Charlotte for himself. It frustrates me too, but I had to do it. She definitely needs him. If it makes you cry…I apologize lol. **

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Snape does care about her, but I don't want to say how he'll react. I definitely can't see him ever opening up about Lily. After all, Charlotte is not Dumbledore, and this is not a life or death situation for Lily lol. It hurt my heart to write it, to be honest. I would love for him to whisk her way to a land of rainbows and unicorns! That would be amazing! But you're right…life isn't really like that… I kind of like Bellatrix, but not as a mother. She doesn't really know how to be a mother and not a Death Eater… I would love for you to slap Bellatrix silly hahaha. Voldemort wants Dumbledore out of the way, not because he could stop him necessarily but because Dumbledore is the only one that Voldemort ever feared. Voldemort sees Dumbledore as a threat, and he wants to get rid of that threat before he focuses on anything else. Does that make sense?**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I think Snape cares more about Charlotte than Charlotte really knows. So I have to agree with you. I think he wants to help her. I mean, that's why he's spent so much time teaching her Occlumency.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Snape definitely helps her more than she realizes. That's really cool. Is there a reason 57 is your favorite number? I hope you enjoy this chapter too. This is the chapter where she gets tested to see if she can join the Order:)**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing! She might have to, she might not. I can't say just yet... Fred is being a git. Mrs. Weasley definitely confused Charlotte a little, all things considered. Snape cares more about her than she believes, so I think he'll try his best to help her. He knows what it's like to be on the end of a relationship (or friendship) begging for forgiveness and another chance. I'm glad you're enjoying it! I love it when people tell me that they enjoy reading my story:)**

**black. mamba338: Thanks for the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 58**

By the time I reach Snape's office, tears are flowing freely down my cheeks. I've prevented the sobs from wracking through my chest, but it's been difficult. My breathing is short and painful, and I'm certain that the sobs will escape me when I enter Snape's office, not because I can't keep them back but because I'll let them go. It's painful to hold them back. I don't knock on his door; I just enter. And once I do, I release a loud cry that causes my whole body to tremble. "P-prof-fessor!" I call.

He looks up from his desk. "Charlotte?" He stands to his feet and comes over to me. "What's happened?" I don't say anything, but with shaking hands I hand him the two letters from Fred. He reads over them while I try to catch my breath. He meets my eyes. "Well, this is a good thing, isn't it? He's trying. He needs more time."

"A GOOD THING?" I shout. "H-how is-is th-this a g-good thing?"

"It means you have a chance…isn't that what you wanted?" he replies.

"Th-the first d-day of term I s-sent him a l-letter!" I cry. "It-it was f-five pages! I p-poured my heart and s-soul into it! And all-all he says is…is _that!"_ I point an accusing finger at his less-than-satisfactory letters.

Professor Snape puts his hands on my shoulders. "Breathe, Charlotte," he says softly. "Breathe." I try to, but my body is still convulsing under the sobs in my chest. "It's going to be okay."

"IS THAT SO?" I shriek at him. "HE DIDN'T HAVE THE DECENCY –" I stop and try to breathe again. "I…I told him how much I love him, h-how much I wanted t-to work things out! I begged for forgiveness! I pleaded with _everything that's in me!_ And he didn't have the decency to – he hardly even acknowledged –" I jab my finger at the letters "– that's _all _he had to say!"

"But it's better than him saying he was finished altogether, wasn't it?" Snape replies. "He's trying, Charlotte. That's all you can ask from him."

I snatch the letters from his hand. "I came here because I thought you of all people would make him seem like scum, professor," I snarl. "I thought you of all people would make me feel better about this!"

"I thought pointing out the fact that he's trying would be what you wanted to hear!" he replies.

"Well, you thought wrong, professor," I sneer.

"Then next time, don't come to me!" he replies. "As a matter of fact, I believe I specifically told you _not_ to come to me about something as petty as relationship issues."

I spin around on my heel and reach for the door.

"Now where are you going?" he asks.

"To speak with Draco," I answer. "He'll make sure I know that Fred is a prick."

"What about joining the Order?" he replies. "You're supposed to go see Dumbledore today." I hang my head. I almost forgot… Snape walks by me and opens the door. "In fact, we should go there right now." I slide the letters into my robes and reluctantly follow the professor to Dumbledore's office.

"Do you think I stand a chance of joining the Order, professor?" I ask as we make our way through the corridors. Maybe _some_ things will go well today.

"I believe you just might," he answers. He glances at me. "After all, I am an excellent teacher."

I grin, but it quickly fades when we pass Pansy and the other girls of my year. Pansy sniggers to her group, who in turn giggle at whatever was said. "I wonder what she did!" I hear Tracey Davis say in a carrying whisper.

I cut a glance at Snape. "I hate you," I say with a hint of real anger.

"I'll never understand why," he replies. "I've been doing my best to help you."

Smiling, I answer, "You know you're my second favorite professor here."

"Second?" he responds. "I thought I'd be your top favorite."

I'm not used to joking around with Snape. I think he's trying to help me see beyond the Fred thing. "McGonagall, unfortunately for you, will probably always be a notch above you, professor," I say.

"What a shame…" is all he can say before we reach the gargoyle that leads to Dumbledore's office.

I turn around to see if Pansy and the others are still watching us. They are. And they're not subtle about it at all. I wave to them. They quickly turn around and walk away. Snape puts his hand on my shoulder and leads me up the stairs. I missed the password when I got distracted by Pansy. This disappoints me a tad, but I don't know why. It's not like I'll ever go to Dumbledore. Maybe I should tell him that Draco is trying to kill him. He'll probably ignore it because he knows that he's a much greater wizard than the boy.

Snape knocks on the door, and we enter after receiving permission from the headmaster. "Ah, Professor Snape, Miss Rodgers," he greets us.

"Headmaster," Snape replies.

"Please, come have a seat," Dumbledore says. My stomach flips and dives around in my gut as I take a seat. Snape sits beside me, and Dumbledore remains behind his desk. "I presume Professor Snape has given you an idea of what we will be doing."

"Yes, sir," I say quietly. Dumbledore has this way of intimidating me more than even Voldemort.

"I believe you will do fine," the headmaster says kindly. "Now, we will begin with the different stages of Occlumency and move onto Veritaserum. Did you bring the potion, Severus?"

"Yes, headmaster," the professor in question answers.

"Good, good," Dumbledore answers. Then he stands and pulls out his wand. "Miss Rodgers, I simply want you to keep me out of your mind." I nod. "_Legilimens."_

I resist the spell and keep Dumbledore from my mind, but he fights harder than Snape. My head pounds like someone is repeatedly hitting me with a blunt object. But I will not give in. I will be a part of the Order before this is over. I will have a hand in bringing Voldemort to his knees. Dumbledore attacks with one more powerful attempt. Quite like when Snape had cast me from his memories, my chair topples backwards with the strength of Dumbledore's spell. "Forgive me, Miss Rodgers," he says. "Lord Voldemort will not be gentle if he applies Legilimency against you."

"It's fine," I say as I stand to my feet. Snape puts the chair upright, and I sit back down in it. "Don't hold back. I need to know I can do this."

The older wizard smiles at my words. "This time, I want you to show me only what you want to show me. No matter how hard I attempt to find another memory, I want you to force me to see what you intend for me to see, nothing else."

This is my chance to tell him that Draco is going to try to kill him. This is the best way to let him know without having to let Snape know that I've figured it out. I nod.

"_Legilimens."_

_I am walking from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. Bellatrix Apparates behind me. "Listen to me! You're not safe in the castle!" she exclaims. _I skip ahead in our conversation to when she takes me to the fights to see another memory of mine. He takes what I can only assume is a path. He's trying to go see my other thoughts of my mother, but I won't let him. He will see this, and this alone. _Bellatrix puts her hands on my shoulders. "Something is going to happen this year. Someone is going to die."_

I propel Dumbledore farther into my mind. _I'm with Draco in the Astronomy Tower. "Draco," I say. "Who is going to die this year? Is it Harry?"_

"_No…I can't tell you," Draco replies._ Dumbledore fights to see anything else, but I'm determined. My will is stronger than his desire to see anything else.

"_You can. Voldemort will never know," I assure him._

_Draco remains quiet for a few moments before saying, "Dumbledore."_

Then I push the headmaster out of my mind. He doesn't look the least bit troubled by the news I've shown him. I expected as much considering how powerful he is. "You've taught her well, Severus," Dumbledore comments. Then he peers at me over his half-moon spectacles. "I want you to alter a memory." I nod. "_Legilimens."_

_I am in the Great Hall, sitting in Dumbledore's chair at the staff table. "Enjoying yourself?" Dumbledore asks me. I quickly stand to vacate his seat. He claims it, and I sit in McGonagall's seat. "I've been meaning to speak with you, Miss Rodgers." _There is a small amount of resistance attacking me as Dumbledore tries to work his way through my mind. But _I _will win this, not Dumbledore. _"I hear you want to join the Order of the Phoenix."_

_I smile. "Yes, sir."_

"_I'm afraid that is not the best idea. You would be in too much danger," Dumbledore answers._

Then I make him leave my thoughts. He nods. "Well done."

"Thanks," I mutter.

"This time, you need to show me a memory that is a complete lie," Dumbledore says. "_Legilimens."_

_I'm walking through the streets of Spinner's End with Snape. "If you had to choose between killing a cat and a dog, which would you choose?" I ask him._

"_A fox," he answers._

"_YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" a loud voice erupts. A man comes out of the alley pointing his wand at me. "YOU KILLED HIM!"_

_Snape and I both draw our wands. "Calm down, Avery," Snape commands. "You obviously know who she is, which means you know that, under the orders of the Dark Lord, she cannot be harmed."_

"_Oh, she'll be harmed," he sneers. "_Cru –!"

"Expelliarmus!"_ I shout. His wand flies through the air._

"Stupefy!"_ Snape says. The man is hit and thrown onto his back, unconscious. _

Then I push the headmaster out of my thoughts. He immediately turns to Snape. "Were the two of you attacked by a man named Avery over the holidays?"

Snape shakes his head. "No, headmaster."

Dumbledore looks back to me. "Very good. We're going to put you into a bewitched sleep. I presume Professor Snape has done this before?" I nod. He points his wand at me and casts the spells.

_I'm sitting at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. No one else is in the room or at the table. I'm eating a piece of toast with strawberry jam. A bottle of butterbeer appears in front of me, and I pick it up to drink. A roast then appears, and I cut a large piece of it. Brown gravy comes next, and I pour it over the meat. _Yes, I am showing him random shots of me eating food. But I want to mix it up a little bit.

_Snape appears across from me. "Good afternoon, professor," I say._

"_Rodgers," he replies._

_I smirk. "Do you think Professor Dumbledore will be pleased with my success?" I then turn in my seat to where Dumbledore is standing. "Pip pip!" I say._

I'm back in Dumbledore's office. He's smiling at me. Snape hands him a vial of potion that I know all too well. It's the Veritaserum. It is poured into a cup of tea, which is then handed to me. "Severus knows enough of your past to know whether or not you are telling the truth." I nod and drink the tea. "What is your name?" Dumbledore starts with the same question Snape usually starts with. They must prefer to lead me into the interrogation with easy questions.

"Helena Collins," I say.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-one."

"When were you born?"

"On Christmas Day."

"Where do your loyalties lie?" Dumbledore begins with more difficult questions.

"With the Dark Lord," I answer. "He is the only worthy one."

"Where were you over the school holidays?"

"In Malfoy Manor, with the Dark Lord, of course," I say.

"Who is Severus Snape?"

"A professor at Hogwarts," I answer, not really knowing what else to say to that.

"Bellatrix Lestrange?"

"A ruthless, blood-thirsty Death Eater."

"How do you know her?"

"I met her at Malfoy Manor over the holidays. She was on a mission for the Dark Lord, but I was introduced to her by her sister, Narcissa."

This continues for another half hour, but I manage to answer each question with ease. Snape then takes out another vial and lets me drink from it, assuring me that it is the antidote to the Veritaserum. I don't know why I wasn't allowed to use this during out lessons…

"You've taught her very well," Dumbledore says. Then the headmaster and the professor step off to the side and talk in low voices. I strain to hear but to no avail. Snape, now frustrated, walks out of the office, leaving me alone with Dumbledore. My nerves kick in again. I don't know what it is about him, but I don't like being alone with him. I know he would never hurt me, but he's just so powerful that it's daunting.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"I wanted to speak with you about something you showed me," he replies.

"What would that be?" I ask with a cracking voice. I can't even effectively lie to him. This is awful.

"I believe you know already," he says.

"About Bellatrix and Draco?" I ask.

"You needn't worry about that, and you mustn't speak of it with anyone. That includes Professor McGonagall."

"Yes, professor," I promise.

"There are defensive measures around the castle and its grounds that will keep everyone inside safe," he assures me.

"But what about Katie Bell, sir?" I reply. "You can't deny that Voldemort has ways of getting things inside Hogwarts."

"Katie Bell will be fine," Dumbledore answers. "We're taking more precautions, Miss Rodgers. That will not happen again."

"You said that everyone inside the castle will be safe," I say.

"I did," he confirms.

"But the only target is you, sir, and you've been leaving the castle quite frequently," I argue.

"And I can take care of myself, Miss Rodgers. I appreciate your concern, but it is not necessary," he states.

"But it is, professor!" I try again. "You're one of the only people who can help me escape from Voldemort! If you're gone, what chance do I have? It's not just your life at stake! Please!"

Dumbledore smiles at me sadly. "Though I doubt anything _will_ happen to me, if it does, Professor Snape will be here to help you escape Lord Voldemort."

"But, he's not the same, sir!" I'm hard-pressed not to scream, but I manage it somehow. "You're – you're _Albus Dumbledore_, the greatest wizard in the world, the only one Voldemort ever feared! Severus Snape is someone he trusts! There is nothing he can do to stop it! He can only prepare me! You, on the other hand, you can stop him!"

"I am not the one chosen to destroy Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore counters. "And Professor Snape is more capable of helping you than you give him credit for."

"But Professor Snape is too close to Voldemort to be able to do anything against him without Voldemort knowing! And as for you not being the one chosen to destroy Voldemort, what does that have to do with anything?" I respond. "How can you say that someone has to be _chosen_ to destroy him?"

"Because only the one chosen to destroy the Dark Lord has the power to do so," Dumbledore answers. "Harry Potter is the one who will destroy Lord Voldemort."

"Harry Potter is nothing but a pawn in this game! Much like I am Voldemort's pawn, Harry is yours! You're the king in this little chess match between you and Voldemort, and if we lose you, the game is over!" I shout.

Dumbledore does not seem the least bit frustrated that I'm screaming at him. In fact, a light has lit up in his eyes. "There is no _one_ person that is the king for either side of this match," he says. "There is the right and the wrong. The light and the dark are the kings, the ones that each side is trying to checkmate. And as for Harry Potter being a pawn, you are right. He has been a pawn for most of his life, but now he is almost all the way across the board. Do you know what happens when a pawn makes it to the other side?"

"They can upgrade…" I say quietly.

He waves his wand, and a silver chess board appears on the table. But this is no ordinary chess board. The board has twice the amount of spaces and pieces as a normal board. Many of the pieces have been moved multiple times already. "I have been protecting Harry in his journey," he points to a pawn that is almost to the other end of the board. "He is almost to the point where he can destroy Lord Voldemort. He just needs time. And if Lord Voldemort finds a way to kill me," he motions to a queen that is stationed near the pawn, looking as if it has recently destroyed a few pieces that could have been a threat to the pawn's forward motion, "there is another ready to take my place," he traces backwards diagonally until his finger lands on another queen.

"Two queens?" I ask skeptically.

"One of which was once a pawn," Dumbledore says.

"So you believe Voldemort will kill you?"

"I will not die on the orders of Lord Voldemort," he says confidently.

"Then why do you have someone set up to take your place?" I ask him.

He smiles. "A good chess player is always six moves ahead of his opponent, but a great chess player is always ten moves ahead," he replies. "One must be prepared for anything." I watch each of the pieces. As we speak, a few more of them begin moving. I can feel Dumbledore watching me. A rook slowly makes its way up the board, drawing closer to the Pawn Harry and the Queen Dumbledore. "I tell you all of this so you will know this one fact of chess that is often overlooked and underutilized: In a game between two kings, even a pawn can make a difference, and if there is but a pawn left, there is a chance of winning."

"But a pawn can only make a difference if it's on the right side of the match," I whisper.

The headmaster points to one of the black pawns. It floats into the air and to the other side of the board, where it turns white. It is placed in one of the typical starting positions of pawns. Dumbledore meets my eyes. "Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."

* * *

**Success! What do you think she's going to do now?**

**What did you think about Snape's reaction?**

**Review!**


	59. Chapter 59

**She's finally a part of the Order!**

* * *

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! I tried really hard with the chess thing. It helps Charlotte later on, so I went with it instead of some of the other ideas I was considering. I'm glad you liked it. I was afraid people wouldn't care too much for it. Ah, I wouldn't consider myself a genius, but thanks anyways!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it would make more sense for him to think it was a good thing, because had Lily offered him a chance like that he would have been forever grateful. Can I tell you that when you said that you "casually punched the air" I smiled, but when you said that you might have had a "victory dance" as well I legitimately laughed out loud:) Harry is still a pawn. The other, though Charlotte doesn't know it, is Snape, since Snape is the one who protects Harry throughout the seventh book.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I hope it's a good thing that you were wrong lol. **

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't even think about having him do a snazzy dance! I'm so disappointed in myself! I totally should have done that…I'll see if there's any chance I can squeeze it into the story later on. I can't believe I didn't think about putting the dance in there… *facepalm***

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I was really worried about the conversation between Charlotte and Dumbledore, so I'm glad you liked it. That makes me feel so much better. Yeah, I'll talk about what she has to do for the Order, and that'll come up more as the story continues. She'll definitely think about it. She'll most definitely be upset with Fred. But I can't really say I blame her… Maybe he will, maybe he won't. We'll all have to wait and see…**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I was really nervous about the chess thing. I thought people were going to hate it, so it's nice to know that some people liked it! I'm glad she's a part of the Order as well. That opens some doors for her that I've been planning for a while.**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing! She'll be torn about pretty much everything for a while, especially Fred and the thought of serving Voldemort. Snape saw it as a good thing, but couldn't really tell her why. I mean, had Lily told him that she needed time, he would have been much happier and all.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for revieiwing! Hahaha that's okay. I have really long, weird reasons for why I like things too, and when I try to explain them, my friends look at me like -_- So you don't have to explain. I'm so glad she's finally a part of the Order. I've got things planned for her!**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! Well, you find out what she does next in this chapter of course:) I was hoping the readers would see more of the similarities between Charlotte and Snape in that last chapter. I'm really glad you caught that. I wrote it to show that had Snape been offered time by Lily, he would have waited as long as it took. He was trying to get Charlotte to realize that sometimes waiting is all you can do. I got a lot of feedback on the chess, and I was really nervous about that. I was afraid people would hate it lol. Ah, that's so nice! I've never had someone tell me I have a "brilliant mind." Thanks! As for analogies or ideas I might use in the story, I won't know them until the moment comes when I begin writing it. But I do have seven novels ready for me to begin writing:)**

**Roxibilly: Thanks for the follows!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 59**

Throughout the course of my life, I've cried for many reasons, from sorrow to anger to frustration to compassion to the kindness of another person…but tears of joy? And I strictly mean _joy_…I have not done this since I was ten; it was during my brief reunion with Mrs. Stoico. Seven years later, I'm walking – well, practically running – through the halls of Hogwarts with tears of joy in my eyes.

I stop in front of McGonagall's office and bang on the door. It takes only a second before she opens the door. Confusion with a hint of panic flares in her eyes. "Charlotte?" she asks.

I throw my arms around her neck. "I did it!" I exclaim.

She returns my hug but asks, "Did what?"

After releasing her and shutting the door to her classroom, I say as quietly as I can manage, "I'm officially a member of the Order!"

Her face drops slightly before she smiles. "That's great!" she rejoices with me. But I can see that something is not right. There is a certain strain in her voice.

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "I thought this was what we've been aiming for…" She turns around and goes to her desk, where she sits down. I take a seat across from her. "Professor?"

"Don't get me wrong, Charlotte," she begins. "I'm more thrilled for you than you can imagine, but…" she trails off.

"But what?" I whisper.

"Part of me was hoping that you would not me admitted into the Order," she confesses.

All of the happiness I had felt moments before flies out of me. "What?" I've been striving to get this since I first learned about the Order, and now McGonagall – the one person I thought would be as happy as I – is sitting here telling me that she never wanted me to succeed. She's been hoping that I would fail this entire time. Had it been anyone else, it would not bother me much. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't still be sitting here, waiting for an explanation.

"Charlotte, I don't trust you –"

"WHAT?" I explode. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? I'VE NEVER KEPT ANYTHING – _ANYTHING _– FROM YOU!"

"Let me finish, Charlotte," she says sternly. "I don't trust you _in the Order_, because I don't want you to get hurt."

My anger immediately becomes shame. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. Now I look like a right prick… "Professor…" I say quietly. "I…I'm so sorry…"

She waves it off like it's nothing. "It's fine," she replies. "I'm almost sure I'd've reacted the same way."

I smile, humiliated. "I shouldn't have…I'm sorry…" I repeat.

McGonagall stands and walks around her desk. She pulls me to my feet and wraps me in a warm embrace. "You might not want to hear it," she says, "but Happy Birthday."

"Thanks, professor," I reply.

She pulls away. "Get anything good?"

"A couple of letters…a Skiving Snackbox. I might use that in the Transfiguration lessons with Christopher and the others," I answer. McGonagall smiles, and I instantly know that she's going to bring up the fact that I should be a teacher again. To stop this from happening, I quickly say, despite the voice in my head screaming at me not to, "Bellatrix sent me a letter this morning."

This has the desired effect, and the look in McGonagall's eye changes from confronting me about being a teacher to questioning why I am just now telling her this. "What did she say? Do you still have it?"

I sit down, and McGonagall pulls a chair up next to me. "I don't have it anymore…I b –" Oh no…I claimed to burn the last one as well. I mean, this time I actually _did_ burn it, but I can't tell her that. I have to seem like I have some control over myself. "It…it went up in flames…there was…nothing I could do…"

"That's fine," she tells me gently. "What did it say?"

"She was talking about how…how she wanted to be here with me…and how she wishes that she could have been with me for every birthday I've ever had. She said…she said that she's working on a way that we can spend Christmas together…but if Voldemort's plans haven't come through…I can't go to Malfoy Manor because she doesn't want me to be there when he's that upset… She told me that if she could, she'd write to me more often, but it's too dangerous…she wants me to be safe. She repeated some of what she said last time…about how I have to watch myself because people might want to harm me."

"She wants to spend Christmas with you?" the professor asks.

I nod. "It seemed sincere enough…"

McGonagall looks strained. "Do you believe it's safe to be with her?"

"I don't know, professor," I answer. "I…I don't _think_ she'll hurt me…I mean, she seems to be worried about me…" I stop and lock my gaze onto hers. "Do you think it's safe?"

"With Bellatrix Lestrange," she replies, "I cannot be sure of anything. But if you are uncomfortable going, I'm sure we can come up with some excuse between now and then."

I smile but say, "I'm afraid that if she wants me to meet her over the Christmas holidays, I have a snowball's chance in hell of get away from her, don't you think?"

She doesn't find my analogy amusing, but she doesn't have a chance to say anything because at that moment her next class starts filing in. I say a swift goodbye and leave to spend the rest of my day doing nothing. And what better place is there to do nothing than in the comfort of my bed? Perhaps I can get some sleep that I lost this morning. I make my way to the Slytherin Dungeons. Once there, I go straight to my bed and sit down. No one else is in here, so I don't bother closing the curtains.

I grab a chain that is around my neck and pull out a silver amulet. I slip the necklace over my head and hold it in my hand. The amulet fits perfectly in palm. On it, etched in black, is a scene of Hogwarts. The scene makes it seem as if I am in the air, looking over the castle and its grounds. I see the Forbidden Forest, the Black Lake, the castle itself, the Quidditch pitch, the courtyards. Everything inside the grounds is depicted. But I didn't take it off to admire Dumbledore's handiwork. I set it on my bed and wave my wand at it.

The amulet expands and becomes the chess board that Dumbledore had shown me. I stare at the pawn that was used to represent me. The board is no good for warning future movements, as Dumbledore informed me, but it is good to see what has already happened. Dumbledore told me that it is connected to the Order. What the Order knows is shown on the board, such as Harry being protected by Dumbledore. He told me that he created it when I brought chess into the conversation. Then he gave it to me and showed me how to Transfigure it into an amulet and back into the chess board. I know that it's not good for much, because by the time the pieces move, the knowledge is already common, but I like to see myself as part of the Order, as part Voldemort's greatest resistance. I turn it back into the amulet and drop it back over my neck.

Dumbledore told me that I will patrol the castle a few times with the rest of the Order, but my main task is to keep an eye on Draco and keep Snape posted on the boy's plans. I guess I can't complain too much. I mean, I'm in the Order, right? That's all I've wanted for a while now. As long as I'm doing something to help the Order, I should feel accomplished. The only problem is that I can't really talk about what Draco is doing. I guess I'll have to lie a lot until after everything blows over…

There's a package on the foot of my bed that I am just now noticing. I quickly scramble for it and tear it open. Inside is a large vial of yellow liquid: The Elixir to Induce Euphoria. I smile at it. Snape pulled through. I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten about it. There is a note attached that simply says, "Do not overuse it this time." I slide the vial into my robes.

* * *

Hours later, I'm sitting in the common room with Christopher, Emma, Julia, and Jacob. They're each trying to perform nonverbal spells, though I've tried on many occasions to explain to them that it is advanced magic. They don't want to listen. They want to "give it a try anyways."

"Who taught you?" Jacob asks, almost blue in the face. "How did you learn how to do it?"

"Me?" I ask them as I write an essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts. "I work better under pressure."

"Meaning?" Emma asks as she too struggles to perform even one nonverbal spell.

"I would have lost my fingers had I not silently cast the Shield Charm," I explain.

"What kind of sick git would do something like that?" Christopher asks.

I open my mouth to tell them that it was Professor Snape but catch myself before it's too late. "A friend," I answer.

"What kind of friends do you make?" Jacob replies.

Tempted as I am to say something mocking and rude to him, I don't. "He's older…he's used to teaching people, so he knew how to make me succeed. I don't believe he would have actually taken my fingers…"

"'He'?" Julia asks. "Who is this 'he'? Are you dating him? Is he the one you recently broke up with?"

This little girl shocks me more than the other three. She's so quiet most of the time; then out of nowhere she asks some of the most personal questions. I think it's all her plan. I can't ignore her questions because she hardly asks them, so she asks personal ones, knowing that I have to answer. "He's strictly a friend. I've never had any desire to date him…but I did kiss him once," I can't help but smile about that. I haven't thought about it in a long time, "but that was more of a way of showing my independence. I regret it. It was weird…" I exaggerate a fake gag. "It nauseates me to think about it!"

"Then who did you date before the start of term?" Christopher asks.

"Fred Weasley," I answer, "of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes."

"I've been there!" Emma exclaims. "It was amazing! I didn't know you knew them!"

"What happened between the two of you?" Jacob asks. "Did he learn that you're a Mudblood?"

I flick my wand at him and silently use the Langlock Curse that Snape has used on me many times. Jacob grabs his throat and struggles to open his mouth. "You've got to learn, Jacob," I say, "that I won't take crap from you."

He nods vigorously, and I release the curse. "What…what curse was that?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you," I reply. "It was one of the spells invented by my friend."

"Your friend seems like he'd be scum," Jacob mutters.

"I believe you're right," I reply.

Draco walks over and sits down with us. "She messing with you, Butler?" Jacob nods. "Good," my cousin replies. Then he looks at me. "Zabini tells me you're going to Slughorn's Christmas Party with him."

"I am," I confirm.

"When did this happen?" he asks.

"The other day…he said he spoke to you about it…"

"This is the first I've heard," he says.

"Slimy little git," I mutter.

"What was that?" Christopher joins our conversation.

"He manipulated me!" I bellow.

Draco puts his hand on my shoulder. "I need you to be there," he whispers.

"Why?" I whisper back.

"I just…do…" he replies shakily. He reaches into his robes. "I got you something." I watch him skeptically until he hands me a bottle of butterbeer. "I remember how much you love it."

"Thanks, Draco," I whisper. I wave my wand, and six glasses appear on the table.

"Six?" he questions.

"Do you not want one?" I reply.

He shakes his head. "I've got some things I need to do." Then he gets up and walks away.

I turn back to the glasses and pour some of the butterbeer into all but one. I take one and hand one to each of the first-years. "Are you sure, Charlotte?" Christopher asks before taking the cup. "It was _your_ gift."

"I never second-guess sharing things with friends," I reply. "Enjoy."

As I raise my cup to my lips, I feel the heat of someone taking a seat next to me. "None for me then?" I hear. I stop and lower my butterbeer. Blaise Zabini is sitting beside me.

"What?" I ask.

"I just thought, considering I'm taking you to Slughorn's Christmas Party, you'd give me some butterbeer as well," he says.

"You manipulated me into going," I reply. "That doesn't warrant anything from me."

Jacob clears his throat, and Zabini and I both look over at him. "Everyone says you're stuck up," the boy says. "Why are you taking a Mudblood to the party?"

"She's not a Mudblood," Zabini says, and I'm sore tempted to smack him. There goes that cover... "She's a pureblood."

"WHAT?" Jacob bursts.

I slam my heel into Zabini's foot. "OW!" he exclaims. I shoot him a deadly glare. "Anyways, where something pretty, will you?" He winks at me then gets up and leaves the table. Had Draco not asked me to go to the party, I would back out of it right now. But I don't see any other way. Draco has a reason for wanting me to go. I just don't know what that is.

"You're a pureblood?" Julia asks quietly.

I sigh. "Yeah… I'm – er – distantly related to Lucius Malfoy," I say.

"My father is a good friend to Mr. Malfoy," Jacob says. "They've never spoken of a 'Rodgers' before."

My brain scrambles for an answer. "Right," I begin, "that's because I'm a bastard. I was born out of wedlock to a pureblooded witch and a fifth cousin of Malfoy. I kept her last name."

Jacob's face turns a light shade of red. "So…when your mother was killed…she…she wasn't a Muggle?"

"No," I say. "She was a witch. And she tried to save herself, but she was more interested in saving me. So a Death Eater killed her." All of the first-years slowly lower their drinks and just look at me. There is so much pity and compassion in their young eyes that I want to crawl under the table and cry. But I won't do that. I've come to terms with Mrs. Stoico's death. "I'm okay. It happened seven years ago."

Jacob pushes his chair out from under the table and walks around to where I'm sitting. There are tears in his eyes. I've never seen this boy show any emotion other than anger. It's odd. Then he surprises me by throwing his arms around my neck. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

I wrap my arms around him. "It's fine. You didn't know. I kept the truth from you."

He pulls away. "Why would he kill a pureblood? You-Know-Who? Why would he do that?"

I lower my voice. "Because he's not everything you think he is," I reply.

"Have…have you met him?" he asks quietly.

I bite my lip. "Yes," I say. "I met him over the holidays." I just don't have to tell them when these holidays were. I'll let them assume whatever they want to assume.

"Then how are you here, sitting there, alive?" Emma asks.

"I don't know," I whisper. "He…he let me live…but I don't know why…"

"Is that why you call him by his name?" Jacob asks. "Because you've met him?"

"I call him by his name because it irritates him. He prefers to be called the 'Dark Lord' or 'Master' or whatever his followers consider respectful. I call him Voldemort in a way honor my mum. If she could face a Death Eater with no fears, why can't I call Voldemort by his name, especially when he's not around me?"

Christopher watches me closely, but it is Jacob who asks, "Did you avenge her? Your mother?"

I want to say yes, but instead, I answer, "A passerby tried to stop him, but it was too late. My mother was dead, and that man, the one who tried to help, killed the Death Eater."

"What did you do? You were young, weren't you?" Julia whispers.

"The man – his name was Al –" now I'm just lying altogether "– he took me to Durmstrang until Igor Karkaroff went missing. Then I came here."

"What happened to Al?" Christopher asks.

"He died – natural causes. He was rather old," I reply. I look at the pocket watch from my real Uncle Alphard. "It's getting late. Don't waste the butterbeer," I try to keep my tone demanding, but I'm smiling so I don't know how well it worked. I finish off my glass and the bottle. "I'm going to bed now." The last I see of the first-years is a scene of them all scrambling to finish their drinks. Then I lose sight of them and enter the dormitory where I find a piece of parchment and write down the whole lie I just told them so I won't forget.

* * *

**McGonagall's reaction...what do you think about that?**

**Don't worry, Jacob isn't going to change completely. He's still who he is... But what do you think about that whole lie she came up with?**

**Snape finally got the elixir to her! How do you think that's going to work out?**

**Review!**


	60. Chapter 60

**Happy Birthday, America! **

**Happy Fourth of July to the rest of you!**

**To the non-Americans reading this, Happy Thursday!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I think McGonagall is more worried about her facing Voldemort while being a part of the Order, as that would bring more danger to her, you know? I'll explain it more later on, but the pieces move according to what the Order and Dumbledore know. I know that that could be a bit confusing since I didn't go into detail about it, but I will when it becomes more important. I can't say what Jacob has lived through, but it's mostly because he realizes that Voldemort is not what he thought. And yes, it was a very childish response to something, but I wanted to make a point of showing that the four of them are just children… Thanks, I was trying to go for something that she could spin easily. I can't say anything about the Elixir. It's vital later. I've got plans for it:)**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it'd be a nice touch to compare it to a chess match. And I guess it is a bit like the fake Galleons Hermione gave to the D.A. McGonagall definitely has a mothering instinct when it comes to Charlotte. Thanks. Charlotte has to be able to spin the truth by now, considering she's mastered Occlumency lol**

**FredWeaslyForever15: Thanks for reviewing! I thought some people would expect it, seeing how Charlotte's relationship with her is kind of like a mother/daughter type thing. Charlotte can never be truly safe… Jacob has never really known what Voldemort's truly like; he just took his parents' word for it. Now he knows a little more, which is good for him. I've got lots planned for the Elixir.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I know right! He's not a completely evil kid! He's still not good per se, but he's not as bad as he was. I've got some stuff planned for him though. That's okay if you can't review! I understand! I went somewhere and wasn't able to update for a week and half lol.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted McGonagall's reaction to show just how much she actually cares about Charlotte. I figured Charlotte can easily manipulate the truth now, being a master of Occlumency, so I wanted to give her a chance to do it. I thought there would be a few people who forgot about it.**

* * *

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (44) I wanted Mrs. Stoico's death to be tragic for Charlotte. Why should she not tell McGonagall everything? (45) I think Draco will tell her eventually if it helps him. (46) Christopher is my favorite of the characters that are introduced. He'll become important later. (47) I'm not a huge fan of Jacob either, but he's important too. (48) Bellatrix has begun to realize that Charlotte is her daughter. Charlotte is Aurelia. She shouldn't trust Snape? But…Snape is Snape lol. (49) I want Charlotte and Draco to be able to help each other. (50) She didn't want him to see all of it, so she stopped him. (51) Charlotte will try her best to keep Draco alive. You don't trust McGonagall? Why? (52) I don't think she'll be able to keep Bellatrix away forever either. (53) Her mother is exactly the reason she has a desire to serve Voldemort. (54) She finally accepted who her mother is. I can't wait for you to see how she brings up his love for Lily! (55) He doesn't suspect that she knows. (56) Draco needs her to trust him, so yeah. He showed her the Vanishing Cabinet to accomplish that. (57) Bellatrix is psychotic. I think Snape will help Charlotte too. (58) She'll definitely be pleased with herself. She's tried long and hard to be in the Order.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 60**

We're two weeks into December, and I'm just now being allowed to guard the castle with the other members of the Order. It's Wednesday night, so I was able to convince Snape that I'd be able to handle staying out all night considering I have no classes in the morning. He reluctantly took my case to Dumbledore who agreed to let me assist the other members of the Order. I haven't seen or heard from the headmaster since.

I'm lying awake in my bed, counting down the minutes until I am to meet Snape outside the Slytherin common room. He will then take me to whoever is my patrolling partner for my first shift. I check my pocket watch every few minutes until the time comes. I quietly sneak out of the dormitory and down to the common room. I meet Snape right where he told me.

The first thing he says to me is, "Are you sure you want to do this? If someone happens to attack, you will be in grave danger."

"Am I ever sure about anything, professor?" I reply. "And I'm in grave danger all the time. What's the difference between now and every other minute of every other day?"

"Fair enough," he answers. The rest of our walk to the entrance hall is taken in silence. When we reach the hall, I see Remus Lupin standing there, waiting. "Lupin," Snape says curtly.

"Professor Snape," Lupin replies. "Charlotte."

"The two of you have met?" Snape asks, cutting a glance at me.

"Easter, last year, with Sirius," I answer. Snape's face becomes dark at the mention of Sirius. He leaves me standing there with Lupin.

"It's been a while," Lupin comments as we leave the entrance hall to patrol the castle. "I know you didn't know Sirius that well and the two of you weren't overly close, but I believe he would be proud of you."

I meet his eyes. "Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Any member of the Black family that opposes Voldemort was all right by him," Lupin replies. I smile nervously. He's right: I didn't know Sirius well. But I know what kind of a person he was, and the fact that he would be proud of me means a lot to me for some reason. "Dumbledore said Snape has been teaching you Occlumency."

"He has," I reply. "That's the only reason I was allowed in the Order. I had to master it so Voldemort won't know my true loyalty." Lupin just nods silently. "Does everyone know it was Snape who has been teaching me?"

"Only a few of us," he answers. "Do you trust him – Snape, I mean?"

I think about it for a second. He's done a lot for me, but he could have just been doing that because the Dark Lord requested it of him. But I doubt Voldemort would want me knowing Occlumency. Snape did that because of Dumbledore, so I could join the Order. "I do," I say firmly.

"Any particular reason why you trust him?" he asks.

"You're the second person to ask me that," I reply. "The first was Professor McGonagall, and I'm afraid I have to give you the same answer I gave her: I trust him because of what he's done for me. He didn't have to teach me Occlumency. He could have said no. Then I wouldn't have been able to join the Order." I steal a glance at him. He's looking forward, so he doesn't see me. "Do you trust him?"

"Dumbledore trusts Snape, and I trust Dumbledore's judgment," he replies. "Therefore I trust Snape."

"Is that the only reason you trust him?" I ask.

He pauses. "I taught here a few years back, Harry's third year. He brewed the Wolfsbane Potion for me. I'm thankful, but I don't know if I would say I trust him for that." We turn a corner. "I believe it's hard for most people to trust him, honestly."

"Why is that?" I reply.

"It's no secret that he's quite skilled in Occlumency," he answers. "And as such, it's hard to know what he's really thinking, who he really supports."

"I've become good at Occlumency," I say quietly. "Does that mean no one will trust _me?"_

He looks at me with compassion. "You're different. You came into this war wanting to defeat Voldemort. In the last war, Snape was a Death Eater. It leaves people wary of trusting him."

We're virtually silent after that, very little conversation passing between us until it's time for our shift to take a break. I go back to the dormitory where I am to stay until my next guard shift in three hours.

This time though, I don't lie awake. I go straight to sleep until my alarm wakes me up. I crawl out of the bed and make my way back to the entrance hall. My heart lifts when I see who I am to be paired with this time around. "Mrs. Weasley!" I rejoice.

She gives me a very welcomed hug. "Charlotte," she greets me.

"It's been so long!" I say.

We begin our walk through the castle.

"I take it your birthday was better than you had expected?" she asks. "Dumbledore owled us to let us know that you had been admitted into the Order as soon as he agreed."

I smile. "It was, and thanks for the letter, by the way," I say.

"You're welcome," she replies. "I wanted you to know that _someone_ was thinking about you."

"It meant a lot," I say quietly.

"I wasn't lying when I said that I've been speaking with Fred," Mrs. Weasley states.

"I never thought you were."

She puts her hand on my shoulder. "He _does_ love you, Charlotte. He's just –"

"Confused and angry?" I say.

She nods. "Yes. And when he found out that I had known before him and hadn't told him, he was furious with me. Luckily George made him see reason. Now we're trying to make him realize that you had no choice, that you _have_ no choice."

I smile sadly. "Do you think it'll work?" I whisper.

"I hope so," she says. "Has he spoken to you at all? Written any letters?"

"He sent me a Skiving Snackbox and a letter on my birthday."

Her eyes light up. "What did the letter say?"

Should I tell her about the first one? No, no, definitely not. "He said that he need more time and that he's trying to get beyond this."

"That's good!" she says.

I smile half-heartedly at her.

For the rest of our shift, Mrs. Weasley does her best to convince me that Fred will forgive me. And as much as I hate to admit it, it's a relief when I can retire to my bed for the rest of the night, where I fully intend to stay until my classes on Friday.

* * *

Unfortunately for me, I am awoken by a loud and obnoxious Pansy Parkinson bright and early. "Only a two more weeks until the holidays!" she cheers.

I roughly jerk the pillow out from under my head and slam it over my head.

"I just feel bad for those who don't have a family to go home to!" she laughs.

Then her annoyingly perky voice leaves the room. I doubt that sleep is an option at this point. Just the sound of Pansy awakens this beast in my chest, a beast that wants to make her hurt. I don't why. It's just there.

Knowing very well that I shouldn't, I open my trunk and pull out the vial of Euphoria-Inducing Elixir that Snape made for me. I unstop it and take a tiny bit of it. My anger immediately fades, and I'm becoming more relaxed. Maybe I should keep this for myself. Draco will never know…

No, I can't do that. He needs it more than I do. I reluctantly go to the bathroom and get ready for the day, a day I had originally planned to spend in the bed.

I go down to the common room and find Draco standing with the four first-years I tutor. I walk up to them. "I feel like you're plotting something against me," I say to them.

"We were wondering if you were ever going to come down. We're starving," Christopher answers.

Confused but not wanting to say anything, I fall into the group as we make our way to the Great Hall. I glance at Draco. "Since when do you hang out with them?" I whisper.

"Since I realized that there is something to be admired about their innocence," he replies.

I catch his eyes. It looks as if he has not slept in days. I reach into my robes and pull out the potion Snape gave me. "I got this for you," I say, "but I'm going to keep it to make sure you don't overuse it. Sound good?"

"What is it?" he replies.

"An Elixir to Induce Euphoria," I answer. "It looks like you could use some happiness in your life. I wasn't going to tell you about it, but I think it's necessary."

"I don't deserve it," he says. "You should keep it…for when…you know…"

I give him a gloomy smile. "You need it just as much as I do, Draco. Don't deny it."

"We'll share it?" he offers.

I grab his upper arm. "If you need anything, Draco, please come to me. I know what you're going through. I can help you."

"I don't need –"

"Not with your task," I say calmly. "But rather living with this weight on your shoulders."

His face drops, and he looks to the floor as we approach the Great Hall. "How do you do it, Charlotte?" he whispers.

"Do what?"

"How do you remain human?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I've never really known."

"Why are the two of you always whispering to each other?" Emma questions. The four of them have gotten a few paces ahead of us.

"Because we understand each other!" I call up to her. When we get to the Great Hall, Draco breaks off from our tiny group and goes to sit with Crabbe and Goyle. I remain with the other four.

"Why did the two of you break up last year?" Julia asks when we've all taken our seats.

"Do you not remember what I told you?" I ask. "I'm related to him."

"Distantly though," Christopher replies.

"If I can count on my two hands and find the person in my family tree, it's not going to happen." I start counting on my fingers to prove my point. "I'm his sixth cousin."

"But –"

I interrupt Emma's argument with, "Never going to happen again." I pour myself a glass of pumpkin juice, take a big gulp of it, and ignore the eight eyes that are staring at me. "Are all of you going home for Christmas?"

"Yeah," Jacob says. "What are you going to do?"

"I'll probably have to stay here," I say vaguely. But deep down, I'm silently hoping that I _get_ to stay here. I'm not sure I can deal with my mother for the entire holiday.

"You should come with me," Christopher says. "I've told my mum about how you've been tutoring us. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you staying with us."

I smile at him. This kid is becoming my favorite more and more each day. "As much as I'd love to – and believe me, I'd love to leave Hogwarts every now and then – I can't. I have to do some things for the professors."

"What kind of things?" Julia asks.

"Detention," I say with a wink.

"How do _you_ get detention?" Emma asks.

"I don't do homework," I say swiftly.

"For whom?" Christopher questions.

For a moment I think about saying McGonagall, but she teaches the same subject that I'm trying to tutor the four of them in. If I say I don't do homework for her, they'll drop the desire to do well in Transfiguration. "Snape," I answer.

"Why didn't you do homework for him?" Jacob now hops into their interrogation.

"Strictly out of spite," I laugh.

"Spite?" Julia whispers.

"Snape and I don't get along." I smile at them. "I spat on him once." They give a collective gasp. "It's a really long story." I point at each of them. "Now listen here, it doesn't matter what anyone says, Snape keeps control of his temper quite well, but he can get nasty."

"As nasty as his hair?" Jacob laughs.

This bugs me a bit, and I don't know why, but I don't comment. Instead, I laugh along and say, "Nastier! Never push your limits with him. Fair warning."

Christopher grins. "Tell us about when you spat on him."

"Do I have time?"

They all nod.

"Okay, so last year I was taking Remedial Potions with him –"

"Remedial Potions?" Jacob laughs. "You can't be serious!"

"I hate Potions," I say. "Anyways, we were shouting at each other – we do that a lot – when suddenly the cauldron started spewing out –"

I'm cut short by the owls delivering the mail to the students. A large, slim, square package lands in front of Christopher. His eyes light up. He must already know what it is. "It came!" he whispers excitedly. "She sent it!"

"Who sent what?" I ask. A letter lands in my lap. I don't recognize the owl, so I don't immediately go to ripping it open.

"My mum," Christopher says. "She sent…well, I've told her about you. I told her you were going to a Christmas Party. She asked if you had anything…I didn't think so…and she said she'd send this!" He slides the package over to me.

I slowly open the top of the box and freeze. "What is this?" I ask.

"She told me to tell you to wear it," he answers.

"Why?" I whisper.

"I told her how you remind me of Helena…she…she was happy that there was someone here…my younger sisters won't be able to use it for many years…she said you could wear it to the party…she didn't want it locked away…"

I meet his blue eyes. "I can't…"

"Yes, you can," he argues. "Mum wants you to, as a thank you…for what you've done for me…"

I look back into the box and grab the fabric. I don't want to fully bring it out of the box. I don't want anyone knowing about this. But inside is a black satin dress. "This was hers? Helena's?" I ask.

"Yes."

I close the top of the package. "That's too much. It's your sister's! I can't possible wear that!"

"Please," he whispers. His deep blue eyes lock onto my icy blue eyes. "Please. It would be like…it would be like she never left…"

"I can't replace her," I say softly.

"I know that, but you can make it easier."

This breaks me. I give him a slight nod, and his face stretches into a wide smile. To distract myself from that beautiful little smile and the emotions it's causing to swell in me, I grab the letter on my lap and open it.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_I've worked some things out. I have put things into place. I know Draco will not be done before the Christmas holidays. That is obvious to all of us waiting back home, even the Dark Lord. And he is becoming impatient. I do not want you to fear your duty any more than you already do. You are not required to come back to Malfoy Manor for the holiday._

_ But I do not want you to be trapped at Hogwarts. I want to spend this holiday with you. When the Hogwarts Express leaves the castle, I want you on it. But do not get off. I know you can Apparate. I want you to Apparate to the manor, to the guest room you've used before. I will be waiting for you. Then I will take you somewhere else, where we will remain._

_ I know you do not, but I need you to trust me._

_ Again, I implore you to burn this letter when you finish with it. I do not want you in danger because of my inability to remain distant from you._

_Your mother,  
Bellatrix_

There is a moment where the words blur and blackness tries to take over my vision. This moment is destroyed when Julia hits me in the back, and I find myself taking a breath, something I had forgotten to do while I read the letter. I don't say anything. I don't think I'm able to speak.

I slowly turn to the staff table. I stare at McGonagall, silently pleading her to look at me. As if she can physically feel my eyes bearing into her, she looks over at me. I know my face is pale because I felt the color drain away moments ago. I lift the note enough for her to notice it. Her face drops a bit. I give a very subtle nod, trying to let her know that our fear has been confirmed. Bellatrix wants to spend the Christmas holiday with me, and there is nothing I can do that will get me out of it.

* * *

**What about that letter? Looks like she'll be with Bellatrix for the holidays...**

**It was her first time patrolling the castle with the Order. Not much happened, other than the conversations. What'd you think about them?**

**What about Christopher? Poor kid...**

**Review!**


	61. Chapter 61

**About the dress that Christopher lent Charlotte, I kind of did what the movies did. It's not dress robes, but rather an actual dress (like the fourth movie)**

**Was anyone else's Fourth rainy? That was really depressing...no fireworks :'(**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Were you marching in a Fourth of July parade? I try to stay away from those…most of the people around are too annoying. I mean, love good ole 'Murica, but the parades are too much for me lol. I'm glad a new chapter was able to make your day easier! Christopher breaks my heart too…**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I love Christopher! He's definitely my favorite of the first-years! I wanted to give her somewhat of a relationship with Lupin. I mean, she and Tonks get along really well. And since Lupin marries Tonks, I wanted Charlotte to be on good terms with him. It's okay if it's a short review! A review is a review!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! There's no other choice for Charlotte at this point. She has to go… I can't really say what all Bellatrix is doing. I mean, she cares about Charlotte a great deal, and that'll be cleared up over the holidays. Some things will take place, but I can't say what. I can't say if there's anything in it for her or not. Everything will come together though. Thanks, Mrs. Weasley is the easiest to leave in character lol. As for the dress, I took more of a stance like what the movies have (just a normal, formal type dress, but it's not overly flashy)…if that makes sense…I mentioned if above cause I realized a lot of people might be wondering.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, Christopher is one of those characters…I feel really bad for him. But Charlotte is a good sister-figure for him. Their relationship develops a lot later on. And it's definitely a weight on her shoulders. I've thought about having her meet his family, but I'm undecided as of right now. I can't say if Mrs. Weasley is right this time or not…NO SPOILERS from me lol. I don't want to say where Bellatrix takes Charlotte cause it'll lead to questions. And all of the questions are answered when she actually gets there, if that makes sense… I can't say what will happen between the two of them, but there is definitely a long road ahead for them.**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for the follow!**

**radioactiveblue: Thanks for the follow!**

**jeff. piper.79: Thanks for the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 61**

I groan at the reflection of myself in the mirror in the Slytherin girls' bathroom. I feel absolutely awful about wearing this dress. Christopher manipulated me into it; curse that adorable smile and his blue eyes! But I have to admit that it is quite a beautiful dress. It was one of my first thoughts when I took it out of the box.

It's a black satin dress. It's strapless and reaches the very top of my knees. There is a blue ribbon around the dress's waist where I have sneakily concealed my wand. In the box, under the dress, there had been a pair of heels that perfectly matches ribbon. As much as I hate to think it, I feel that this dress was designed for me. The black complements my hair, and the blue matches my eyes, and it fits me perfectly, which only makes me despise wearing it that much more. If I am to borrow a deceased girl's dress, it shouldn't fit me right, it should fit me awkwardly, out of courtesy if nothing else.

Another roblem with it fitting so well is how awkward I feel wearing it. I can honestly say that I have never dressed up before. I've never had time for that. I've been running for my life, not trying to look nice. My black curls reach the blue ribbon, which makes me feel like I should do something with them. I hang my head. This is definitely not worth the stress. At this point, I want the party over. The quicker I get to the common room, the quicker I get to the party, and the quicker I can get to the part, the quicker I can leave.

With that in mind, I head down to common room. As I come down the stairs, there is a flash, and heat immediately floods my face. "Christopher!" I say. "What was that for?"

"Mum wanted to know what you looked like in the dress," he replies. "And I knew that you wouldn't give me a picture, so I had to take one…"

"I thought you were going home for the holidays?" I ask him.

"The train leaves in the morning," he says.

Right…I was hoping I had missed it and would be stuck here at Hogwarts. "Where's Zabini? Have you seen him?"

"He and Draco went up to the dormitories a moment ago. They'll be back soon," Christopher says.

I walk over to one of the desks and lean against it. Pansy and the other sixth-year girls enter the common room. Pansy stops walking and turns to snigger with her friends. "What are you all dressed up for?" she laughs.

"The Slug Club Christmas Party," I answer tightly. "I see you didn't merit an invite."

Her face turns a slight shade of red. "And just who got stuck going with you?" she sneers.

"Well, Pansy," I reply, "Blaise Zabini asked me to go with him." I look past her and give Christopher a grin. "He said that _I_ was the only Slytherin girl that his mother would approve of, because he needed to take someone who she would consider beautiful. He practically begged me."

She looks just about ready to scream at me when Draco's voice interrupts her, "Charlotte," he says, "you look beautiful." On that note, Pansy storms from the room. Christopher smiles at me sheepishly before moving to the side. Draco gives me a swift hug. When doing so, he whispers in my ear, "Keep an eye on Potter while you're at the party."

"Will do," I whisper back to him.

"Malfoy," Zabini says from the other side of the room.

Draco steps aside and motions to me as if showing me off like a painting. "Your date for the evening," he says.

Zabini walks up to me, takes my hand in both of his, and kisses the back of it. I have no feelings for him at all, but I still get butterflies. I smile at him. "You look amazing," he says. "My mother would most certainly approve."

"A picture then?" Christopher asks. I silently groan at him. Why does he have to be so willing to help people?

"That'd be great," Zabini replies.

Then the boy puts his hand on my back and stands closer to me than necessary until Christopher takes the picture. "Draco?" the first-year asks. My cousin walks over and takes a picture with me as well.

"We really have to go now," I say. I want to get this over with as soon as possible.

Draco leans to Zabini and whispers something to him. Zabini offers me his arm, which I take for the sake of formalities, and we leave to go to Slughorn's office.

"What'd Draco say to you?" I ask Zabini.

"He told me that if I hurt you in any way, he'll make me – what was it he said? 'Rue the day I was born.' The two of you are closer than you let on, aren't you?" he replies.

"In a way," I answer.

"Who is he to you? The two of you dated, right? You still love him?"

I can only hope that we reach the party before I have to go into too much detail about my relationship with Draco. "It's complicated. I don't love him like I used to, but I do love him. He's…he's like…" I can't seem to put it into words.

"He's like a brother of sorts?" Zabini offers.

I can honestly say that I've never thought of Draco as my brother. "I guess, sort of, I don't know," I say. "I mean, I'm not in love with him. But I do love him. And we watch after each other…so I guess we could be considered siblings."

"How do you stay that close to someone you once loved?"

"Why does it matter to you?" I reply. "The break-up wasn't a dreadful thing. It was hard for both of us, but it was mutual. We just wouldn't work out, and we knew that. So now we're friends."

"Just friends?" he asks.

"Can we let the subject of Draco go? We'll never date each other again. We simply care about each other."

He nods. "My apologies," he says quietly. "So why aren't you in Potions?"

"I hate the class, and I'm certainly not going to need it in my future so I didn't want to take it," I answer.

"What are you going to do after Hogwarts?"

"I want to be an Obliviator," I say. "And you?"

"I'm going to travel the world with my mother until I settle down and have a family," he says.

I forgot that his mother has had seven husbands, all of which died somehow and left her loads of money. "Sounds great."

"Here we are," he says.

He goes to open the door to Slughorn's office. I'm amazed at how the professor has set up his room. The ceiling and walls have been draped with emerald, crimson, and gold hangings, so that it looks as though we're all inside a vast tent. The room bathed in the red light cast by an ornate golden lamp dangling from the center of the ceiling in which real fairies are fluttering, each a brilliant speck of light. Loud singing accompanied by what sounds like mandolins issue from a distant corner, and a number of house-elves are negotiating their way squeakily through the forest of knees, obscured by the heavy silver platters of food they were bearing, so that they looked like little roving tables.

"Professor!" Zabini calls to the wide-bellied man walking toward us.

"Ah, Blaise," Slughorn greets him. "So glad you could make it. And who is this?" He smiles at me.

"Charlotte Rodgers," Zabini introduces us. "She's in my year, a Slytherin."

Professor Slughorn reaches to shake my hand and I nervously accept. "Sixth-year?" he asks. "You aren't in my Potions Class."

"No, sir," I answer. "I got the grade on the O.W.L.s, but I've never had a passion for Potions."

"What do you have a passion for?" he asks.

"Transfiguration," I say. He nods then becomes distracted by a student entering the room and walks away. I look at Zabini. "Charming, isn't he?"

The boy shrugs. "I'm going to get something to eat." Then he walks off.

This is going to be an awful night. I turn around and skim the crowd of people who are already here. There is not a single person I feel like speaking with. I walk over to one of the tables and pick up a glass of mead. Then I see Hermione standing off to the side and decide to talk to her. "Who are you trying to avoid?" I ask her.

"My date," she answers, scanning through the room with a look of panic.

"Who'd you come with?"

"Cormac McLaggen," she says. "And he's quite dreadful. He's gone to get me something to eat." Then she meets my gaze. "Who are you here with?"

"Blaise Zabini," I reply. "But he's run off somewhere."

"Why him?"

"He manipulated me," I say coldly.

She looks about ready to ask me about this but freezes. "Bugger, there he is," she whispers. "I've got to go." Then she dashes away, leaving me standing there. My eyes wander around the crowd again. Why is Snape here? And Trelawney? Come to notice it, there are a lot of older people here, not just students. I see Zabini standing with Slughorn, and I head that way. I don't want to be left alone here. There is a reason I don't care about being in the Slug Club. I don't like being social.

"I thought you weren't part of the Slug Club?" a voice asks me.

I turn to see Professor Snape standing beside me. "Where did you come from?" I ask.

"I've been standing here since I first got here; it's not my fault if you didn't observe your surroundings before roaming around," he replies. "What are you doing here?"

"I got invited," I answer, looking around for any excuse to get away.

"By whom?" he asks.

"Blaise Zabini," I say, still searching for a reason to leave.

"It's rude not to look at someone when in a conversation with them," he comments.

I look over at him. "And since when do you care about people being rude or not?"

His face is as hard as stone. "I've never really cared." Then he adds, probably just to upset me, "That's a nice dress, did you steal it?"

"I'm offended, therefore I am not going to answer that," I reply. I look around again and realize that I've just missed Harry. He's going to a far corner, which means he probably found Hermione. From where I stand right now, I have a clear view of the door. I'll know if he leaves. Biting back my frustration at my own sympathy toward Draco, I move back and stand next to Snape.

"For one who is 'offended' you don't really act it," he says.

"I'm doing a friend a favor," I reply shortly. Snape then walks away and begins speaking with Slughorn.

Zabini walks back over and hands me another glass of mead. I hadn't even realized that I'd finished mine already. "A pathetic excuse of a party," he comments quietly.

"Agreed."

"Would you like to leave?"

"No, I promised Draco…something," I answer.

He spins around and pulls two chairs up. We both sit down. "Where'd you get the dress?" he asks.

"You know the little boy who was taking pictures?" I ask. Zabini nods. "Well, it was his sister's."

"Was?"

"She died a few months back."

"And they just…gave you the dress to wear?"

"His mum didn't want it locked away or something…I don't really know," I reply. "But I was glad to get something to wear."

Zabini tries to ask me something, but I am completely distracted by Draco. For some reason, Filch is dragging him into the party by his ear. Draco catches my eye. He's obviously furious. "Professor Slughorn," Filch wheezes. "I discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor." Draco, what have you done? "He claims to have been invited to your party and to have been delayed in setting out. Did you issue him with an invitation?"

Malfoy jerks free from the Hogwarts caretaker. "All right, I wasn't invited!" he roars. "I was trying to gatecrash, happy?"

"No, I'm not!" Filch exclaims, though he looks the exact opposite. "You're in trouble, you are! Didn't the headmaster say that nighttime prowling's out, unless you've got permission, didn't he, eh?"

"That's all right, Argus, that's all right," Slughorn tries to diffuse the tension the scene is causing in his party. "It's Christmas, and it's not a crime to want to come to a party. Just this once, we'll forget any punishment; you may stay, Draco." But this didn't ease Draco's fury. He doesn't want to be here. He was probably trying to get into the Room of Requirement. I glance at Snape who looks angry and a little afraid. Not for the first time, I debate telling Snape Draco's plan, but again, I decide not to. If Draco wants Snape's help, he'll go to Snape himself. I have no right. Dumbledore knows that Draco is trying to kill him, and if Dumbledore has opted not to go to Snape, then I have no reason to, either.

Filch leaves, and Draco and Snape both school their features. Draco immediately begins thanking Slughorn for his graciousness. I really need to give Draco more of the Euphoria-Inducing Elixir. It's obvious in his eyes and skin that something is terribly wrong with him. He's been refusing to take the amount that I have been taking because he believes I need it more, and his chivalry has caused his sorrow and stress to take their toll on him. "I'd like a word with you, Draco," Snape announces.

"Oh, now, Severus," Slughorn says, "it's Christmas, don't be too hard –"

"I'm his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be," Snape responds curtly. "Follow me, Draco."

I look over at Harry. He says to his date, "I'll be back in a bit, Luna – er – bathroom."

Then I turn to Zabini. "I think it's fitting that we leave now," I say quietly.

"I thought you'd never ask," he says. He offers me his arm once again, and the two of us dodge out of the party and make our way back to the Slytherin Dungeons. I look up and down every corridor for any sight of Harry, or even Draco and Snape, but see none. "Next time, we should just make an appearance then leave."

"What do you mean 'next time'?" I ask.

"You don't think there will be a next time?" he replies.

I scoff at him, and luckily it's dark enough that he can't see me. "Of course not!" I say.

"Was I that bad of a date?"

"It wasn't a date!" I argue.

"Is it that blood traitor Weasley?" he sneers.

I jerk my arm out of his. "As a matter of fact, it is!" I exclaim. "I only agreed to go to the party with you because you said you spoke with Draco and he said I'd be difficult! Which, by the way, I know is a complete lie! So not only did you deceive me to get me to come on this date with you, but you also scorned the one I love!"

"What?" he laughs. "You're crazy! I didn't 'scorn' anyone!"

"Oh, really?" I ask coldly. "What about," I make my voice sound as close to his as I can (quite a pathetic example, but it makes me happy nonetheless), "'that blood traitor Weasley.' Is that not scorning someone? I certainly believe it is!"

"You're blowing things out of proportion!" he says.

"I'm not! If I said something like that against your mother, you'd be just as upset!"

"Because that's my mum!" he counters.

"And I'm in love with Fred!" I shout. "I have the right to be upset about you criticizing him!"

"It's completely different!"

"It's not!"

"How can you not say that it's different?" he laughs. "You haven't spoken to Fred in months!" He smiles cruelly at me. "And why is that, I wonder?"

Red. That's all I see. Just a big scene of red. And I lunge at him, clawing at his face and pounding on his chest the best I can do in these sightless circumstances.

Before I can do any real damage, he has me pinned against the wall. "That was a mistake," he growls.

I don't wait to find out why it was a mistake. Instead, I tear my hand free from him and strike him across the face. I then quickly take off one of the heels I'm wearing, hold it above my head, and bring it down on his head. He moans but tries getting up again. Before I can attack him again, I hear, "Charlotte!" Then two arms have found their way around me and have restrained my attacks. "Calm down." I open my eyes and find Draco looking sternly at me. I nod. "What happened?"

"She's crazy!" Zabini shouts. "Now, move aside, Malfoy. I don't want to hurt you."

Draco and I both turn to see Zabini pointing his wand at us. "What did I tell you, Zabini?" Draco asks. "I told you to take care of her. And now you're trying to – what? – hex her? Can I tell you that doing so is one of the biggest mistakes you'll ever make? She's more powerful than she looks."

"Move aside, Malfoy," Zabini snarls.

Before I can even register what happens, Draco has fired off a jinx at Zabini, successfully hitting him. Then Draco expels the other boy's wand. As my brain finally catches up with my eyes, I see Zabini's front teeth growing at an alarming rate. "You might want to go to the hospital wing before your teeth ruin your looks," I say coolly before I can stop myself. He looks as if he wants to attack again. I quickly take out my wand and change his memories. His eyes dance with confusion for a moment. "Blaise?" I fill my voice with concern. "You need to go to the hospital wing!"

He quickly stands and darts away. Draco turns to me with a wide smile. "You have to teach me that!"

"We should get going before Filch finds us," I say. My cousin throws his arm around me, and we rush back to the common room.

Before the door closes completely, Draco says to me, "Snape can't know what I'm doing."

I nod.

Draco leans down and kisses my cheek. "You looked great tonight. And the sight of you whacking Zabini with your shoe will never leave my mind." Then he runs to the dormitory.

As I make my way to my bed, I realize that there are two things working against me trying to sleep tonight: My adrenaline high from what has just taken place and my anxiety of seeing my mother tomorrow.

* * *

**I need your help. Right now I have 283 reviews. I would like to have 290 before the next chapter. I'll update either way of course, but I would really like to have 290 reviews. That's only seven, and most chapters get that anyway... Thanks:)**

* * *

**Do you think she's ever going to tell Snape what Draco is doing?**

**What do you think is going to happen with her mother?**


	62. Chapter 62

**Thanks everyone who reviewed! You helped me get over 290, and it means so much that you pulled through for me! Thanks again!**

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing! I'm extremely jealous of you right now. It rained all day on my Fourth. But that's okay. Movies! Lol. Did Snape figure it out in the book? I can't remember, but I think he might have considering how he went to the Astronomy Tower. Idk. I can't remember… Christmas is going to be weird. Poor Charlotte…**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Christopher is the sweetest of the first-years, and he's hands-down my favorite. But I'm biased…cause I know his future lol. I never really liked Zabini. I don't know why…I've never been a fan. I've always been neutral towards Slughorn, but I wish I could have more of him. The only problem is that Charlotte isn't in Potions. I have so much riding on her being a Metamorphmagus that I can't say how it plays out later. All I can say is that it causes one of the biggest twists of the story;) I really like the powers they have…**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I think that's one of my favorite things about her: She's a fighter. I'm glad she took care of Zabini so you didn't have to. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to beat up a fictional character hahaha. You're in a band? What instrument do you play? Sometimes I feel like I want to play an instrument, then I realize I don't have the will to learn lol.**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it would be a good touch to have her use the shoe. I'm glad you liked it:) They take care of each other (Charlotte and Draco) even when they know the other doesn't need it. I just wanted her to have that relationship with someone her age, someone who helps her and who she can help.**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I think if she tells him (cause I'm undecided), it will be in a situation that absolutely needs it. I've got so much in store for Bellatrix and Charlotte. Christmas is just the "tip of the iceberg" so to speak… I'll definitely keep it coming! Keep reading it! :)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to give him some depth, since not much is said about him in the books. She kind of hurt his pride…that's what makes most people want to lash out. I figured he would be no different, which is why he turned violent. His family is neutral, he just didn't like that she attacked him…with a shoe. She initiated it, technically. Well, at least the physical aspects of it. I haven't decided if she tells Snape, but if she does it'll be because there is no other way…probably. I think the holidays will clear some things up on the subject of Bellatrix. The pictures come up, but much-much-much later. I remember that you won't' be reviewing:) I'll be looking forward to your reactions later on!**

**Sarah: Thanks for reviewing! I was in a bet with a friend that the readers wouldn't help me get to a certain amount of reviews when I asked. Looks like I proved him wrong lol**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! Wait until you find out what she does later haha**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! If she tells him, it'll be in a time that gives no other choice. I can't wait for everyone to read about Bellatrix. I think I have two chapters on it. I think Charlotte would make a good Obliviator, too. Let's just hope things work out of her. Keep reading!**

**stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! The first part of her visit is in this chapter:) I can't say what all will happen between the two of them cause I have such a long road planned for them. It's gonna be fun lol. I hope you get the feels moment you're wishing for. If not, it might come next chapter. You never know:) I'd like to take this chance to say thanks. It means a lot to me when people tell me the love the story**

**Emilyyeah: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 62**

"If you need anything – an excuse to leave, help getting away, _anything_ – don't hesitate to send for me, understood?" McGonagall tells me.

I nod. "Yes, professor."

"If she harms you in any way at all, send for me, and I will find away to get you away from her," the witch continues. We're in her office, saying our goodbyes for the Christmas holidays.

"I swear that if I need you, I'll find a way to owl you or something," I say. McGonagall still does not seem the least bit happy about my holiday arrangements. Though, I can't really say I blame her. Bellatrix is a psychopath. I think McGonagall fears another incident like the Longbottoms, and I'm sure she can only go through something like once in a lifetime.

"Take care of yourself," she says quietly.

"I will," I promise. I give her a swift hug then dash for the door. I don't want to miss the Hogwarts Express. That'd be an awful bit of luck, it would…

I make sure to be one of the last to board the train. I cast Disillusionment Charm over myself and my rucksack, the only bag I packed for the break. I rush past the compartment being claimed by Christopher, Jacob, Julia, and Emma. I can't let them know that I've been lying to them this whole time. I pluck up my courage and make a move that could very well get me into some serious trouble. But at this point, I couldn't care less. I open the door to the compartment in which I intend on riding to King's Cross.

Ron and Harry both look as if they've gone crazy. I close the door, let down the blinds, and turn back around. At this point, both of them have drawn their wands and are pointing it at me. I don't understand. Then it hits me: I'm invisible. "Right…sorry," I say, removing the charm.

"What are you doing here?" Ron asks.

"Hiding from a few first-years that don't know my true family history and therefore believe I'm staying at Hogwarts," I answer, peering through the shade I've pulled over the window. "Where are Ginny and Hermione?"

"Ginny is with Dean Thomas," Harry answers. There is a peculiar tone in his voice that I can't quite label. "Hermione is…somewhere else."

I lean back against the seat. "I'll leave in a minute," I say. "I can tell the two of you don't want me here. I just simply can't risk them seeing me."

"Have you lied to them too, then?" Ron asks curtly.

I look over at him. "What's your problem, Ron? What could I have possibly done to you?"

"I have to hate you, on principle," he answers. "You know…Fred."

"What exactly did Fred say?" I reply.

"That you were lying to him throughout your whole relationship," Ron answers.

I point at him. "Now what you have to understand about that is I was trying to protect him; I did not have a choice."

"What were you trying to protect him from?" Ron asks. "You-Know-Who? Because if you haven't noticed, no one's ever really protected from him anymore."

"Don't remind me," I mutter.

Harry and Ron exchange a quick glance. "Are you sure Snape and Draco aren't Death Eaters?" Harry asks.

"I've told you all that I know," I reply.

"Have you?" Ron asks.

"I don't have to deal with this," I groan. I stand, cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself again, and leave the compartment.

I look through each window until I find the one with Hermione. She's with Dean and Ginny, and she looks rather irritated. When I open the door, they act just as Harry and Ron had. None of them pull their wands, but I still feel the need to say, "Calm down." Then I take the spell off of me and take a seat next to Hermione. "I wouldn't intrude if it wasn't absolutely necessary."

"Why is it necessary?" Hermione asks quietly.

I glance at Dean. "A certain portion of my history has been kept from the first-years I've been tutoring, and they can't know that I'm going home to my…mother," I say.

"Your mother?" Ginny asks.

"Yeah, she wanted to spend the holidays with me. And if you know anything about her, there is no escaping that," I reply.

"Does…does her…employer…know about it?" Hermione asks.

"Merlin, no!" I answer. "If he did, he would want to see me himself. This is all very covert."

"Who else knows?" Ginny asks.

"McGonagall," I answer. Snape does too, but they don't need to know that.

"That's all?" Ginny seems genuinely concerned, which is odd considering Ron seems to hate my guts.

"Pretty much," I answer. I quickly change the subject. "How is it that you don't hate me on principle, Ginny, but Ron does?"

"You spoke with Ron?" Hermione asks.

"I was in the compartment with him and Harry. I couldn't handle their interrogation. So I just left."

"Well," Ginny says, "for a while I thought I should be upset at you, even though I don't fully know what happened between you and Fred. But Mum and Dad and George don't seem the least bit upset with you over the break-up. I figured if they were okay, then they must know something that we don't. There had to be a reason. I trust my family's judgment."

"Your father _and_ George?" I ask. I honestly hadn't expected anyone else in the Weasley family to find out what's going on. Heat is already rising to my cheeks. "Oh, God…" I mumble.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asks. "What do they know? What happened?"

I meet her yes. "I honestly cannot tell you," I whisper in a thick voice. "I mean, you think you're in danger now…" I can't even finish. Instead, I rest my head against the seat and close my eyes.

The rest of the ride to King's Cross is consumed with much lighter talk, and it seems to be one of the fastest rides away from Hogwarts that I've ever had. But I guess that's the way it works: When you desperately want time to go slow, it has a knack for speeding up, and vice versa. Hermione doesn't move when the train stops, but Ginny and Dean quickly leave. I look over at the only other person in the compartment. "Are you not getting off?" I ask quietly.

"Are you?" she replies.

"I'm not," I say. "I have to Apparate to Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix is meeting me there. Then she's taking me somewhere else…"

"Where?"

"No idea."

Though obviously unnerved by my words, Hermione leaves the compartment. Once she does, I Apparate to the guest room in Malfoy Manor.

I open my eyes. The room looks no different since the last time I saw it. The only difference is that Bellatrix is pacing back and forth in front of the bed. Or at least, it looked like it until my Apparation sound alerted her of my presence. She freezes and just stares at me. Without a word, she scoops a bag off the bed, comes toward me, and Disapparates with me from the room.

When I open my eyes once again, I am deep in a snow-covered forest. There is nothing around us. "Where are we?" I whisper, panic rising in me. Has she brought me out here to kill me? Maybe McGonagall was right: I should have tried to come up with an excuse to get out of this holiday with my mother.

"The Lestrange Cottage can be found in the Craik Forest of Scotland," she says.

"What?" I ask. Then I notice for the first time a cottage no more than twenty feet away from us.

"The Fidelius Charm," my mother says. "No one besides Rodolphus, myself, and now you know where this is. It was built right after your birth. I intended to have you sent here for your safety, but Narcissa convinced me that sending you to our blood traitor uncle was the better choice. We thought no one would look for you there." She meets my eyes. "And look where that got me. Now it's not used at all. No one will search for us here."

I follow her forward, still silently panicking with this whole arrangement. Just the thought of me being somewhere that is unknown to anyone besides my Death Eater parents and me sends shivers down my spine. So much for McGonagall being able to rescue me if necessary… I step into the cottage.

The floors are hardwood, and the walls are made of stone. The sofa and the two armchairs by the fire are black. Slytherin green accents the furniture. I drop my rucksack onto the floor and follow mother to the other three rooms. One is a tiny kitchen that has clearly never been used; one is a room with a twin-sized bed (Slytherin green and silver, of course); the last is a room with a bed almost the size of Draco's at Malfoy Manor. This room is green and black. I feel like my parents are a little too obsessed with the Slytherin colors. There is one bathroom about the size of one I used in Snape's house. "You were meant to grow up here," Bellatrix says quietly. "I firmly believe that had we been able to keep you, you would not fear your duty as you do."

"Is it really that bad that I fear it?" I ask softly.

She looks at me with sorrow. "Yes."

I can't help but feel awkward in this situation. She leads me back into the little sitting room and starts a fire. "Does the Dark Lord know where this is?" I ask casually.

"Of course he does!" she exclaims, offended. "I keep absolutely nothing from him!"

"So, even if I had grown up here, I wouldn't have been safe, right? After all, he is the one who was after me, not some random Death Eaters or Order members," I reply.

She whips out her wand and points it at me, fury flaring in her eyes. Slowly, she lowers it. "I want this to work, Aurelia. You are my daughter. I want to be a mother to you, a mother you have been without for so many years."

I sigh and go sit in front of the fire. The least I can do is try, I guess. Bellatrix waves her wand, and two bottles fly into the room. She hands me one. I open it and start drinking. I'm surprised to find that it's a bottle firewhiskey. "Okay," I say.

She looks just as uncomfortable as I do but sits down on the floor with me in front of the fire nevertheless. She just looks at me, drinking in the sight of me, like she'll never get the chance to see me like this again. "How's Hogwarts these days?" she asks.

I'm taken aback. "You're asking me about school?" I reply skeptically.

"We have to start somewhere."

"Fair enough…it's…well, it's Hogwarts. Dumbledore's in charge…the students respect him for the most part…most of us hate Snape," she smirks, "most of us respect McGonagall. Flitwick is as short as ever –"

"Just stop there," she interrupts me. "That's obviously not going to work."

"What's Azkaban like?" I ask her.

She pauses for a second before taking a large swig of her firewhiskey. Then she says very quietly, "Cold and lonely. Most people go insane within weeks."

"You survived for nearly fifteen years," I say as quietly as she had spoken.

"On an obsession," she states.

"What obsession?"

"That the Dark Lord would return and reward me for my loyalty."

"And that's why you don't trust Snape?" I ask. "Because he didn't go to Azkaban?"

"Exactly. He wasn't willing to go to Azkaban for the Dark Lord. Why is he willing to do anything for him now?"

I put my drink to my mouth and gulp some of it down. "If you could go back, would you choose the Death Eater path?"

"Every time."

"Over a life with me as your daughter?" I continue.

"I have a life with you now," she replies.

"Not the same way it would have been had Voldemort not influenced you."

"DO NOT USE THE DARK LORD'S NAME!"

I set my drink down. "If I am to have his child, I think I'm allowed to use his name, wouldn't you?"

"NO!" she shrieks. "NEVER USE HIS NAME!"

"Calm down, Bellatrix," I say.

"DO NOT DEMEAN THE HONOR YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN!" she screeches.

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU THAT IT IS _NOT_ AN HONOR! HE'S TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME!"

"With what he's given to you, what can you possibly be upset about?" she whispers hysterically. "What was so important to you that you are blind to the honor he has bestowed upon you?"

"VOLDEMORT TOOK MY MUM FROM ME!" I shout.

She pauses. "But he freed me, Aurelia. Why can't you see that?" she asks. "He gave me another chance to be with you!"

"You're _not_ the mum I'm speaking of!"

She shrinks back down as if I've taken a burning iron to her flesh. "Who?"

"The caretaker at the orphanage I was forced to live in thanks to your precious Master!" I cry. "You're just some psychotic woman who gave birth to me! You're not my mum!" With that, I get up and storm from the room, straight to the room that housed the larger bed. I try to Disapparate and find that I cannot; she must have put up the Anti-Disapparation Jinx. I slam the door shut and flop down onto the bed. I don't move again.

* * *

The next morning, my heart nearly stops when I open my eyes. Bellatrix is sitting on the edge of my bed, watching me. I scramble away and wind up on the hard floor. "What are you doing?" I ask as I struggle to get back to my feet. I crawl back onto the bed and throw the sheets over my now icy legs.

"I've been thinking," she whispers. It's then that I notice her eyes are red. "I've already lost you twice, haven't I?"

"What?"

"Before you began Hogwarts this year, I told you that I feared losing you twice, that I couldn't go through that again, but it's already happened, hasn't it?" she says. "I'm not your mum, and I never will be." The witch stands up and goes to the door. "I've lifted the Anti-Disapparation Jinx. You're free to go." Then she leaves the room.

I find myself staring at the bedpost. It's nothing special, just iron, but I can't tear my eyes away from it for nearly ten minutes.

My rucksack is on the floor at the foot of the bed. I crawl down to it and take out the vial of the Elixir to Induce Euphoria. I had tried to make Draco take it with him, but he seemed certain that I would be the one to need it, not him. I had been so frustrated with him. Now here I am, less than two days later, finding myself thankful for his courtesy. I quietly leave the room. Bellatrix is nowhere to be found. There are two bottles of firewhiskey by the smoking embers, the only indication that a fire had been there. I go over and pour some of the elixir into each of them.

Before I do anything else, I go put the vial back inside my rucksack.

I check the other room, and find no Bellatrix there either. Perhaps she left already. I walk to the front door; it's cracked open. Bellatrix is standing in the snow, looking toward the sky, letting the snowflakes land on her face without putting up any sort of resistance. I take slow steps toward her. She must hear me coming, for she turns around. "You haven't left yet," she states.

"No," I answer. "Why are you out here?"

"I could bear to hear the 'pop' of you Disapparating," she answers.

I take a few more steps toward her. She doesn't move. "I thought you would be gone by now," I say.

"The Dark Lord allowed me to bring you here for the sake of convincing you that your duty is not as dreadful as you believe," she answers. "If I were to come back early, I believe we would both be punished quite severely."

"I'm never going to believe that my duty is an honor," I state, crossing my arms over my chest. "Regardless of what anyone says or does, I will always view it as a curse." I meet her sad eyes. "And for that, I am sorry. I had no one in my life to teach me that it was an honor. But I've had plenty of people who have tried to keep me away from it, and therefore it's engraved in my very soul that it is a curse. And I'm positive it will remain that way until the day I die."

Bellatrix walks toward me but avoids me and starts making her way to the cottage. I reach out and take her arm, forcing her to look at me. Without saying a word, I put my arms around her and bury my face into her shoulder. "I'm scared of it," I whisper.

She uncertainly wraps her arms around me. "I know you are," she replies. "And I don't blame you for being fearful, because had it not been for Rodolphus, I am unsure if I would have had the courage to take the Dark Mark."

I pull away from her. "So you did love him at one point?"

"In the beginning it was strictly because it was expected of me to marry a wealthy pureblood. But for the first year or so I believed I could really grow to love him, the way Narcissa loves Lucius. That love never grew."

"Because you love Vol – the Dark Lord?"

She doesn't answer. "You get your blue eyes from the Lestrange family. Did you know that?"

I shake my head.

"Well, you do," she states. My mother puts her hand on my back and leads me back into the cottage. I go willingly.

* * *

**Ups and downs...**

**I don't really know what to ask here...hmmm...okay...**

**What about what Fred told Ron?**

**The whole Bellatrix thing...give me you thoughts!**

**Review!**

* * *

**Oh, so I just got an instagram...like last night (I'm so behind the times) Go follow me! My username is: courtneyb521**


	63. Chapter 63

**This is the last chapter about the holidays:(. I know I didn't spend much time on it, but I have a reason. Don't hate me lol.**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Ron is being a total jerk. But that's how he is. You don't mess with his family, which is what he believes she did lol. You're right though; he should know to stay out of it. I felt bad for her too. I didn't think I could honestly, until I started writing this. Now I feel bad for her lol.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! The elixir definitely lightens the mood, but I don't go into too much detail about her using it. I mean, we all know she did, so it's implied. I want there to be a mother/daughter relationship too, but I don't know if it'll work…they've a long ways ahead of them. What's your username? Keep reading!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I can only watch Harry Potter if I watch them all in a row. I can't watch some of them and not the others lol. It makes me sad if I do that…I don't get the full effect. McGonagall and Snape are definitely my favorite characters in the books. I think it's amazing that you can play all of that. I wish I could haha.**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! Despite everything, Charlotte _does_ want a relationship with her mother. It's instinctual. People feel a tug to those who are related, especially by blood. And I agree with every word you used to describe Bellatrix. You hit the nail right on the head with that.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! That would have been really awkward. And with Harry, I don't think he'd take it that well, especially since that means she lied before. He would immediately think she's working for Voldemort. There's not much involved with the holidays. Next chapter is the last one, but there is a reason for that. I just can't tell you why yet. Thanks for the reviews! It makes it easier to update.**

**a. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! I enjoy writing about Bellatrix and Charlotte, so I'm glad you enjoy reading about it. There's only one chapter left of the holidays, but I have a reason. There are future parts with Bellatrix though:) What part did you almost tear up in?**

* * *

**CHAPTER 63**

"I've often wondered why I'm not on a Chocolate Frog card," Bellatrix says to me as we open our tenth Chocolate Frog in the past five minutes. "After all, I believe myself to be the most proficient witch of the age in the use the Cruciatus Curse." She meets my eye. "I think I deserve one."

I don't really know what to say to her. I can tell she's trying desperately to be a nicer person, but I know that this side of her will go away just as fast as Snape's nice side can go away. And I think the elixir is affecting her more than it is me. But I want this to work. "I'm not so sure," I reply. "For my age, I believe I'm pretty proficient in the art of casting the Cruciatus Curse. I might even surpass you someday."

"Hitting me with it once does not mean you compare to my skill," she says.

"I'm not speaking about when I hit you. Do you know who Dolores Umbridge is – works in the Ministry, was placed inside Hogwarts last year?" She nods. "She pushed my buttons, and I Cruciated her quite well."

"How have we not heard of this?"

"I charmed her memory," I answer.

Bellatrix looks impressed but asks, "What did she do exactly?"

I've refrained from lying to my mother over the past few days, but I can't very well tell her that my attack was to avenge Minerva McGonagall. Instead, I say, "She forced me to write with a Blood Quill." I show her the faint white scar on the back of my hand.

"I'll have her head the next time I see her," Bellatrix says calmly.

I stop. The tone in her voice doesn't imply that this is just words. I have no doubt that my mother will legitimately kill Umbridge. As much as I would like that, I can't let her do it. "It's good. I got my revenge."

"But if you charmed her memory, she won't remember it," she counters.

"But I do, and that's good enough for me." I pick up another Chocolate Frog. "Are you going to catch this one?" She nods. I tear open the package, and the frog leaps into the air. Bellatrix pulls out her wand and cast the Cruciatus Curse on it. "You know it won't feel it, right? It's not a _real_ frog…"

"I know that," she says. "I just wanted to stop it." And I have to admit that she makes a good argument. The spell completely stopped the frog. It wiggles around, but it can't leap away. "That one's yours." I pick it up. "Bite the head off first. It makes the whole idea of eating Chocolate Frogs more interesting."

She's so sadistic… "Are you sure? I feel weird…" I reply. Bellatrix smiles. I grab the frog and stare at it. Then I smirk. I make vicious roaring sounds as I go down to take off the head. My mother's mouth drops open. I smile at her, making sure to have chocolate covering my front teeth. "I like theatrics…"

And for the first time in all the time I've known Bellatrix, she laughs. It's short-lived and silent, but it is a laugh nonetheless. And I don't know how to react. I just watch her until she says quietly, "I wish I could take those years I lost in Azkaban and give them back to you."

I reach over and take her bottle of firewhiskey. "I think you've had enough," I say.

"I'm serious, Aurelia," she says. "I wish I could have spent every Christmas with you, eating Chocolate Frogs and drinking – well, probably not firewhiskey when you were younger – but _something_." She averts her eyes from mine. "If Harry Potter hadn't have…well, we don't really know how he did it, do we?" Bellatrix grabs the bottle from my hands and finishes it off. "I've got something for you." She grabs her wand.

"If you're going to Cruciate me, I'd rather you not," I comment.

She doesn't reply, only waves the wand. A small box flies into the sitting room with us. "I've kept this for a very long time," she begins. "Well, not on my person of course, being in Azkaban, but it's been in my vault at Gringotts." She hands it to me; it fits into the palm of my hand. "I want you to have it. Years ago I planned to give it to you when you turned seventeen..." she looks at the box like it's something foreign to her. "I thought I lost that chance. Yet here you are… Open it."

I gingerly open the wrappings around the box. I put the trash to the side and take the top off of it. Inside is a silver ring with a large marquis-shaped emerald (again with my family being obsessed with the green…). Surrounding the emerald is a layer of tiny diamonds. "Being the eldest daughter to my mother, she gave it to me when I turned seventeen, as her mother had done for her, and hers before that." She takes the ring and slides it onto my finger. "You're my daughter, and it's time for you to have it."

A tear slips down my cheek.

"I would have given it to Narcissa, but she only has Draco. Until you were discovered, I was planning on giving it to whomever he married. Andromeda's daughter was never considered, not after how Andromeda disgraced the Black name." She looks away. "Narcissa and I lost a sister the day that she married that filthy Mudblood." Her eyes meet mine again. "But I see the silver lining now. I have the chance to give it to you." My mother reaches out and touches my cheek. "It's yours. Maybe one day you'll be able to give it to your daughter."

I have no words, so I simply wrap my arms around her. "I wish I had something to give you," I whisper.

"Being here with me is good enough," she replies. I don't know how long we sit there in each other's arms. It could very well have been hours.

* * *

I am leaving the Lestrange cottage today, which means I am also leaving the presence of my mother. I'm unsure how to feel about this. I'm thrilled to get back to McGonagall and tell her about these past two weeks, but I don't know how she'll like me getting along with Bellatrix, especially since Bellatrix is…well, Bellatrix Lestrange, the Death Eater who violently shoved the Longbottoms into insanity. Perhaps she'll be happy for me, but something tells me that's not going to be the case. Something tells me that she won't like me becoming so comfortable with Bellatrix. She might think it'll make me lean toward Voldemort.

"Are your things packed?" I hear. I turn around and see Bellatrix in the doorway.

"Yeah," I answer. "Yeah, they're packed." I pick up my rucksack and sling it onto my shoulder.

We Disapparate to Bellatrix's room in Malfoy Manor. "I think it's best if no one knows about these two weeks," she says. "The others won't take kindly to me… If the Dark Lord learns about… I don't want you punished because of me," she finishes.

I nod. "I won't speak a word of it," I tell her.

She puts her hands on my shoulders. "I don't know what Draco is trying to do to accomplish his task. He hasn't told me," she says, "but if you find out, I must ask you not to tell Snape. This is Draco's time to shine, to get the glory that he deserves, to restore the Malfoy name. Snape, as I've already told you, thinks only of himself. If he sees this as a chance to make himself look better to the Dark Lord, he will not think twice before doing it."

"And you're still not going to tell me what Draco is to do?" I ask.

She locks her eyes on mine. "I know you already know. I've spoken with Draco. He has told me that you've been doing your best to help him," she replies. "You must keep this to yourself as well." I nod, and she takes me into her arms. "I won't see you again until the end of the school year, I'm afraid. Watch yourself. Trust no one except for Draco. You can trust him."

"I'll see you then," I say.

"Goodbye, Aurelia."

"Goodbye, Mum." Bellatrix smiles at me. I take a handful of Floo Powder, climb into my mother's private fireplace, and shout, "Hogwarts!" I am consumed with green flames, then deposited in Snape's office.

"Evening," he says vaguely. "Have a good holiday?"

"It was all right," I say. I go for the door.

"Leaving without a rant about your holiday?" Snape asks.

"Yeah, well, Professor McGonagall asked me to come rant to her when I got back," I reply. "I might fill you in later. Bellatrix still hates you." I see him smirk before I leave his office and rush to McGonagall's.

I knock on the door. It takes only a few seconds before she opens the door. "Charlotte!" the professor rejoices. "I was so worried about you!" She pulls me into her office and shuts the door behind me. Then she takes me into her arms, much like Bellatrix had done when I left the manor. "She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"No, she was…civil," I answer.

We pull apart. "Bellatrix Lestrange?" she asks, "Civil?"

"My thoughts exactly, but yes," I say. "She was thrilled that I was actually there."

"Where did she take you?"

"There was a cottage that had been built in the woods. I was supposed to grow up there…it's under the protection of the Fidelius Charm. Bellatrix is the Secret-Keeper," I reply. "It was…weird, to say the least."

We migrate over to the chairs and sit down. "What did she do?" McGonagall asks.

"We…we just talked," I say. "Oh, and she gave this to me." I take the ring off my finger and hand it to the professor. "It's been passed down from mother to daughter for…four generations, I believe. She kept it in her vault at Gringotts. She had always planned on giving it to me…but, you know…I was thought to be dead."

"And she kept it all this time?" she asks quietly.

"She told me that she would have given it to Narcissa, but Draco was her only child, and he isn't married yet. She figured she'd give it to his wife. But then they found me…" I say. "She would have given it to Andromeda to give to Tonks had she not married a Muggle-born."

McGonagall hands the ring back to me. I remove the silver amulet Dumbledore gave me and slide the ring onto the chain. No one else needs to know about the ring. It's between Bellatrix, me, and now McGonagall, though Bellatrix will never know that McGonagall knows. It would be a huge mistake if she found out. "When did you get that?" I hear.

The Transfiguration professor is looking at the silver amulet. "Professor Dumbledore gave it to me after I joined the Order." I place it on the desk. Then I wave my wand at it, and it becomes the chess table once again. I give McGonagall a quick explanation of what had transpired between me and Dumbledore (leaving out Harry being a pawn, Dumbledore being a queen, and there being a queen set up to take over if something happens to Dumbledore). So basically, I tell her about how I was Voldemort's pawn and was made into the Order's pawn. "It's nothing special really," I finish. "It's so _I _know what side I'm truly with. It's so if I begin to waver, I'll remember that I'm fighting for the good of the wizarding world, not Voldemort's pureblood supremacist ideas." Then I change it back into an amulet and slip it over my head. The ring and the necklace clatter together as I hide it under my robe.

"So you're not hurt in any way?" McGonagall asks.

"Not at all, I mean…I'm mentally scarred," I say. "She spent most of her time trying to convince me that what I have to do is an honor. I understand that it's an honor, but –"

Her face drops. "What do you mean you 'understand that it's an honor'? I thought you were firmly against it."

"I am against it, but out of the millions of witches there are, he chose me. I get that it's an honor, but I know that it's more of a curse. So the honor thing is trumped by the curse, but still…I get how it's an honor." She still seems tense. I sigh, "I didn't mean it like that, professor. What I meant was that I understand why Bellatrix wants me to see it as an honor. He chose me out of everyone there is. But, I would never serve him willingly. I _will never_ serve him willingly."

Her fireplace erupts in green flames. McGonagall glances over. "Evening, Potter. Try not to get too much ash on the carpet."

"No, professor."

Ron and Ginny both emerge after him, and they all scramble out of her office. "I think I should go now," I say.

She gives me an odd look.

"Professor Snape wanted to speak with me," I say.

"Have you discovered the answer to our mystery?" she asks.

I pause. I can't tell her that Snape loves Lily. I just can't. "No, professor," I lie. "Not yet. But I will." Then I leave. But I don't go to Snape's office. Instead, I go the common room with hopes of meeting up with Draco.

Sure enough, when I get there, he's sitting at one of the tables, writing something. I go over to him. "Draco," I say quietly, taking a seat beside him.

He looks at me and smiles. "Charlotte," he greets me. "How were your holidays?"

Tears fill my eyes, but I do my best to ignore them. My voice is thick and quiet when I whisper, "Voldemort-free, thanks to you."

"I'm glad I could help," he whispers back. He proceeds to lean over and take me into his arms. He pulls away and says, "If there's any way I can help you, tell me."

I slide the rucksack off my back and dig two bottles out of it. "Have a drink with me?" I ask. I pop both of the bottles open, then pour what's left of the Elixir to Induce Euphoria into each of them. I hand him one of the bottles. "I don't care if you're not seventeen yet." Together, we drink our bottles of firewhiskey.

We sit there in solemn silence until it gets late enough that we can go to bed without looking odd.

That next morning, when I come down the stairs, there is a large crowd surrounding the notice board. "Apparition lessons!" Pansy giggles. "We get to learn how to Apparate!" I quietly snigger at her. She turns to leave the board but stops when she sees me. Then she turns to her little group of friends. "I feel bad for the poor people, you know – the homeless – who can't afford the twelve Galleon cost." Her eyes bear into me, an evil smile spreading across her face. She and her friends walk off.

Draco walks up to me. "Are you going to take the lessons?" he asks.

"Probably," I reply. "It'll make me look normal if I do."

"What?" His eyes light up with realization. "Right, I forgot. You already know how, don't you?"

I smile. "Yep, for years now."

He shakes his head. "Sometimes I think it might be worth living out of the reach of the Ministry. You've always been able to do whatever you want with magic. The Ministry has no record of you, do they? They believe Bellatrix's daughter to be dead."

I nod.

"Totally worth it," he says. "Free use of magic…Apparating before the legal age…teaching yourself whatever you feel like…"

"It has its advantages, but it also has its disadvantages," I say. "If I were to be found dead, no one would even know who I am."

"I would," he says quietly. "And I'd make sure they knew who you were."

I smile. "That's good to know. But back when I was on the run, no one knew I existed. So I guess it wouldn't be too bad had something happened to me. No one would have missed me…"

"Let's get off the depressing subject of you dying," he says. "Do you have the Galleons to pay for the lessons? If not, I'm sure I can lend you some…"

"That's not necessary, I don't think," I reply. "I'll just owl my mum. I'm sure she'll send me some if she thinks it will help keep up my appearance as 'Charlotte Rodgers' which in turn will keep me safe. She's all about my safety…"

Draco smiles. "That's good too, I guess." His eyes drift to something behind me. "I think a few first-years want to speak with you."

I turn around, and Christopher and the others are all staring at me, patiently waiting for me to finish talking to Draco. "I'll see you later, then," I say to him. I go over to the four of them to listen, with false enthusiasm, about how their holidays went.

* * *

**What about the holidays? Good...bad...uncertain?**

**Her talk with McGonagall?**

**Do you think Bellatrix will send the Galleons?**

**What did you think about Charlotte's chat with Draco?**

**Review!**


	64. Chapter 64

**I've passed 300 reviews! That means the world to me! Thank you so much!**

* * *

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, well she is sadistic hahaha. But that's who Bellatrix is! The Apparation lessons will be a lot like they were in the book, only with the Charlotte twist on it:) I think Bellatrix would not only send her the money because of her fake life and all but because she actually cares.**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing! I know! I'm so excited about it! I never thought I'd have this many reviews! Let's just hope they can keep their relationship going while they're separated. You're right, the Lestranges are filthy rich. I usually talk about what she missed out on or what she's going through. I thought I'd mention the advantages to her life, cause it's not all bad, you know?**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! The holidays went better than I had originally planned for them to. Bellatrix desperately wants her daughter back, which is why she's putting forth such an effort. I think she wants to keep Charlotte safe, but she'll also send them because she cares. If it's something Charlotte wants to do, I don't think she'd say no.**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! That was kind of my whole point. I wanted Charlotte to realize that her mother, while a creepy Death Eater is also still human. I don't know what I have planned out for Draco and Charlotte, but I hope it stays good. I guess it depends on how certain things turn out. **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! How do I stay motivated? Well, there are a lot of things, honestly. The readers being one of the biggest; if people are reading, I want to continue writing. I love writing, it's my favorite pastime; so that's another reason; if I have something to write, I'm never bored. But the biggest reason is the whole point of why I wrote this story. I can't say why that is, because that'll ruin some big plot twists; knowing why I'm writing this is the biggest reason I stay motivated. I don't know if that makes sense or not…**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you thought the holidays were good:) Charlotte is developing strong relationships with both McGonagall and Draco, something that I need her to do for future things. I followed you back! I didn't know that was you! lol.**

**a. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you got the feels! I love it when that happens when I'm reading something or watching something. I'm glad I could deliver:) I was actually a little upset at Charlotte when she yelled that at Bellatrix lol. I want them to be close, but I don't know how well it will work. It depends on some other stuff that'll take place…I'm undecided. She should be able to, considering her vault at Gringotts is full of money**

**xXCheerAllNightXx: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for the favorite and the follow! I'll think about it, but with where I'm planning on this story ending, I don't know if that would work. I'll definitely think about it though:) Thanks for reviewing!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 64**

I got a package from Bellatrix a few days before the Apparating lessons are to begin. She had been more than generous with the money she sent me (50 Galleons, 30 Sickles, and 40 Knuts).

Now I am walking with Draco to the Great Hall, where the lessons are to take place. The four tables have been removed, and it's odd to see the Hall without the House tables.

Each of the Heads of Houses is standing around with a Ministry wizard. McGonagall and Snape both know I can Apparate, but they also know why I am taking lessons and therefore do not give me a second glance when I enter with Draco. I go stand closer to Hermione than my cousin. Not everyone needs to know that we're close again, and maybe separating will squelch the rumors that we're getting back together. Once all of the students arrive and the professors quiet everybody, the Ministry wizard speaks up, "Good morning. My name is Wilkie Twycross and I shall by your Ministry Apparition instructor for the next twelve weeks. I hope to be able to prepare you for your Apparition Test in this time –"

"Malfoy, be quiet and pay attention!" McGonagall orders.

Draco flushes and moves away from Crabbe, obvious livid at McGonagall. Snape looks just as upset as Draco does. I can't help but be disappointed in the boy. I was hoping he would show some respect…

"– by which time, many of you may be ready to take your tests," Twycross continues, seemingly oblivious to the interruption. "As you may know, it is usually impossible to Apparate or Disapparate within Hogwarts. The headmaster has lifted this enchantment, purely within the Great Hall, for one hour, so as to enable you to practice. May I emphasize that you will not be able to Apparate outside the walls of this Hall, and that you would be unwise to try." I don't know why he insists on saying this (he is the same man I took lessons from when I was pretending to be that old bloke a few years back); I've tried Disapparating many times when the Anti-Disapparition Jinx was up, and I've never been harmed.

"I would like each of you to place yourselves now so that you have a clear five feet space in front of you."

Everyone jostles around to obey. The Heads of Houses have to break up arguments of space and so forth until everyone has successfully gotten their five feet of space. I'm standing next to Hermione, who is disgruntled with Harry for abandoning her to follow Draco and Crabbe.

I don't pay Twycross any attention as he explains the principles of Apparation. I've already heard them. But I make it look as if I am, when in all honesty I'm trying to decide whether or not I should tell Harry what I know about Draco, or even what I know about Snape for that matter.

I mean, Harry is obsessing over Draco. If I told him, maybe he would calm down. Then again, Draco would know that it was I who told, and I'm sure that would find its way back to the Dark Lord. And that's definitely something I don't want happening. It's just that Harry is completely consumed with finding out what Draco is up to. Perhaps I can drop a few hints, just to appease him. Or would that just cause more issues? Throw more gas onto the flame? Maybe it's not the best idea to tell Harry after all.

And as for telling him about Snape? There is no debate there, really. The answer to that will always be "no." I can just imagine what would happen. Harry would quickly spread that news, Snape would find out it was me, Snape might become so angry that he helps Voldemort enslave me, Snape might turn against the Order and Dumbledore. There possibilities are endless, and all of them have pretty terrible outcomes. I guess it's not wise to bring that up either. Maybe I should speak to Snape about it though…

"Step three," Twycross calls through the Hall, "and only when I command… Turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with _deliberation_! On my command, now… one…two…THREE!"

I merely jump and spin, landing back on my feet and staggering to stay vertical. The next two tries are just as unsuccessful for everyone as the first. On the fourth try, I hear the awful screech of pain that I figure is someone being Splinched. I cringe. That happened to me a few times when I first began trying to Apparate. It nearly cost me my cover. The Heads of Houses quickly rush over to the poor girl.

"Splinching, or the separation of random body part," Twycross explains, "occurs when the mind is insufficiently _determined_. You must concentrate continuously upon your _destination_, and move, without haste, but with _deliberation_." He gives a demonstration of Apparition. We spend another hour practicing, and my legs are pounding by the end of this hour. All I've been doing is jumping up and down while spinning. I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow…

* * *

My once-a-month Occlumency lessons with Snape feel rather pointless now. We spend nearly an hour with him trying to see into my mind and me keeping him out or just showing him random memories that I think up on the spot. But Dumbledore insists on me continuing my practice in the art of Occlumency.

One good thing comes from these lessons though, when February rolls around, I have something to focus on rather than my sure-to-be depressing Valentine's Day. For the second year in a row, I will be alone when I so recently had someone to love. I have to physically stop myself from sending Fred a letter. If he wants to say something to me, he must initiate the conversation.

I was deeply disappointed to receive nothing for Christmas from him, but I half-expected nothing from him. So for Valentine's Day, I don't even let my mind roam that I'll get something. I don't want to dwell on what will probably never happen (like dwelling on Harry destroying Voldemort before the thirty-first of July). I don't think it will happen. As a matter of fact, I'm almost positive that it won't.

Dumbledore claims that all Harry needs is time, but I'm positive that he will not have enough of it by the end of July. And that thought alone makes me want to crawl in a hole somewhere and stay there until the day I die.

Last Christmas doesn't matter anymore at this point, either. Sure, I enjoyed my time with Bellatrix, but things have gotten worse.

Bellatrix and I don't write; that would be too dangerous. And quite frankly, I'm not sure if I would want to keep in touch with her. It makes defying Voldemort harder when I know that Bellatrix cares about, wants the best for me, yet sees nothing wrong with Voldemort raping me. Yes, raping me; I've come to terms with it because I most certainly will not give myself to him willingly.

There is only one person I believe I could do that for, and he's currently not speaking to me. And I doubt if he will for another long while. Fred is difficult like that. But I have to give him as much time as he needs. So that's what I'll do. I'll give him as much time as he needs. Maybe after Voldemort has…well, I don't want to think about it again…maybe then Fred will realize that I had absolutely no choice. Something tells me not to get my hopes up to high…

I enter Snape's office for our February Occlumency lessons. It's the last Saturday of the month. It's been a week since Valentine's Day, a day I effectively made it through. And as much as I hate to admit it, the thought of this month's lesson is what helped me through. I've spent my whole month coming up with scenarios to show Snape, scenarios that I personally think he might enjoy.

I take a seat in front of his desk.

"Ready for your lessons?" he asks, just as he did last month, though I'm sure he knows everything he's about to see is a lie.

"Must we do this?" I ask, much as I've done almost every time I get the chance.

"The headmaster has specifically ordered us to continue. Ready?" is his response. I nod. "_Legilimens."_

_I'm walking through Hogsmeade. I stop at __Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop__ and step inside. The place reeks of happy couples, all enjoying each other's company. There are banners around the shop that say "Happy Valentine's Day!" I scan over the crowd._

_I raise my wand and shout, "No!" The shop goes up in flames._

_Next, I am sitting before the Wizengamot. "So you admit to burning down the Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop in Hogsmeade?" the Minister asks._

"_I admit it."_

"_Do you have any reason for such actions?"_

"_I do." _

"_Would you care to share them with us?"_

_I smile. "You see, Minister," I reply. "Valentine's Day is all an illusion that should only be celebrated where love takes people: Flames."_

Snape draws himself out of my memories. He's smiling. "Struggling with Fred?" he asks evenly, though it's obvious that he wants to make mock me.

"Not at all, professor," I say. "I've come to terms with it. I spent a while trying to master that memory before I showed it to you."

"And you put yourself on trial in front of the Wizengamot?" he asks.

"I like theatrics," I say to him, just as I had told Bellatrix.

"That is clear to anyone who sees your fake memories," he comments.

"Well, you know…I have to distract myself from my impending doom somehow, don't I?" I reply.

Snape places his wand on the table. "You believe you'll have to go through with it?"

I look away from him, but I can feel his obsidian eyes watching me. "Do you not?" I whisper.

"I don't know what I think about it," he says softly.

"Do you believe it's possible – no, _plausible_ – that Harry will have defeated the Dark Lord by the end of July?" I ask. I meet his gaze and say, hardly audible, "Because I don't."

"But you'll have people you can come to – myself and Professor McGonagall. There are people who will be there for you," he replies.

All of my bitterness is rising in my chest, threatening to seep out in every word. "Oh, because you think any of you will know what it's like?" I say. "You think any of you will have a clue as to what that's like?" I try to bite back my anger, but it comes anyways. "Do you really believe that any of you will be able to sympathize or empathize or even _understand_ what it's going to be like?" I try again to contain myself, but it doesn't work. My anger comes out, not in a shout like it usually does, but in a more menacing and heart-gouging quiet voice, "Do you believe any of you will know what it's like to be _raped_ by Lord Voldemort? Because I don't think you will."

Snape pauses, obviously not expecting me to say what I've just said. And honestly, I wasn't expecting to say what I've just said. But now that I have, I'm glad it's out on the table. "Do…why do you…why do you think –"

"That he's going to rape me, professor?" I cut him off, guessing where he's headed with his question. "Do you really think I'll just give myself over to him _willingly?" _I pause a split-second for effect. "_No._ He will have to take me kicking and screaming." Part of me wants to look away from his eyes out of embarrassment, but I force myself to keep eye contact.

He's quiet for a few minutes, but that doesn't make me regret any of what I've just said. He seems to be making it a point to stare back into my gaze. Then he says, very quietly, "I commend your bravery, Charlotte."

I rip my gaze from his and collapse to my knees on the hard stone. A wail of agony and fear escapes me before I can stop it. I quickly try to stifle the sound by folding myself over my knees and biting into my robes. The sound wracks through my body, making my breathing overly painful, short, and fast. "I-I c-can't – I can't do-do th-this!" I struggle to cry out. "I can't! I can't!"

There's an unidentifiable sound that makes its way to my ears. I ignore it and try, with no success, to stop my sobbing. And I feel as if the more I try, the worse they become. An arm rests on my shoulders, and I flinch. It's immediately removed, then is slowly rested on my shoulders again. "I don't understand you, Charlotte," Snape says quietly. I turn my head to look at him, still clenching my teeth on my robes to keep back my sobs. He's on one knee, looking down at me. I don't have to say anything for him register my silent question and continue, "You're brave in the face of the Dark Lord himself, you're brave in the face of death –"

"Death is-is b-better than –"

He puts his hand up in a silent command for me to stop talking. I don't know why, but I obey. "You were brave when you went and Cruciated Umbridge on behalf of Professor McGon –"

"That was different!" I roar.

Again, he puts his hand up for me to stop talking, and his eyes order me to stop interrupting. "You could have gone to Azkaban. You could have faced the dementors. And more likely than not, you would have experienced the Dementor's Kiss, yet you did not care. You were brave."

"But that's –"

"Hush!" he snaps. "The Dementor's Kiss is said to be one of the worst fates a person can endure, but you didn't care when you faced Azkaban and its dememtors. Yet here you are, sobbing on the floor because you fear the Dark Lord…because you fear the Dark Lord r –" he can't bring himself to say it, and I know it's not because he's never said it before. I think it's because he doesn't want to acknowledge that this will actually happen to me, like saying it aloud will make it inevitable. "But you fear the Dark Lord r –"

"SAY IT!" I shout.

"You fear the Dark Lord raping you," he finally says.

"Because he will," I whisper, almost completely muted. My body starts to shake at the sheer thought of Voldemort forcing himself upon me. I look away from Snape. "I'm s-so scared." The professor puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls me to my feet, but it's hard for me to stand up without wobbling. He begins leading me to the door. "Wh-where are we going?" I ask quietly.

He pauses. "You go to Professor McGonagall about things such as this. I assumed you would want to now."

"No!" I shriek and immediately start fighting against him until he releases me. "I-I'm not g-going to her about this! I h-haven't spoken aloud of V-Voldemort raping me to-to anyone but you at this point! I can't – I can't go to her!"

His face drops. "Why not?"

"She-she worries about me enough as-as it is! I can't – I can't add this to it as well!"

"You're being unreasonable –"

"I AM NOT!" I screech. "SHE PUTS UP WITH ENOUGH STRESS BECAUSE OF ME! I WILL _NOT_ ADD THIS AS WELL!"

Snape's face is resigned, as if he knows arguing with me is worthless. And really, I know I'm being unreasonable. McGonagall would want to know my fears about this, would want to help me with them, but I can't bring myself to go to her about this. It would be too hard to look her in the eye after it happens. Snape, on the other hand, is not someone that I feel I must make proud of me, so it doesn't matter if he knows that I'm horrified at the thought of going to Voldemort, horrified that Voldemort will rape me. I can still look him in the eye, unashamed, because he's been through a lot because of Voldemort as well.

I slowly walk for the door, ignoring Snape's compassion-filled eyes as best I can. He doesn't stop me from leaving. I go to my warm bed and curl up, casting the Silencing Charm on myself so no one in the dormitory can hear my loud sobs.

* * *

**Charlotte has accepted her fate...what do you think about that?**

**Should she go to McGonagall?**

**How do you think this is going to change things for her?**

**Do you think she'll ever speak with Snape about Lily?**

**Review!**


	65. Chapter 65

**My story was nominated for the Energize W.I.P. Award in the category "Most promising Harry Potter FanFiction." I don't know which of you nominated me, but I want to thank you. It means so much to me:) I'm going to write a lot this week, so I'm going post twice this Saturday, one at midnight (EST) and one around noon, as a thank you for reading my story and enjoying it so much!**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I feel the same way when Valentine's Day rolls around. It's the most pointless holiday lol. I wrote two Pirates of the Caribbean stories a few years back on my second account, but hardly anybody read it, and it was really hard to finish. So I understand losing motivation to write:)**

**moonfeather58: Thanks for reviewing! She doesn't want to kill herself because she's made friends now, and there are people who care about her. She debated it right after Voldemort told her the dates but couldn't bring herself to do it. She usually tells McGonagall everything, but it's difficult to add that into the mix. It'd make it harder. I'm following canon, so this part takes place in "The Half-Blood Prince." Harry doesn't destroy Voldemort until "The Deathly Hallows."**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! Oh, Pansy's time is coming, believe you me. It's coming. And when it does, I'm sure you're gonna love it! I'm already planning it out right now! I'm also planning on a "snazzy dance" for Snape ;) **

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! The pressure of waiting like that would be unbearable, especially knowing exactly what's going to happen. It's hard for her to admit what's going to happen. Snape just has a way of getting her to say things. I think it's cause he already knows absolutely everything about her because of the Occlumency lessons. I don't know if she'll bring it up. If she does, it has to be in the perfect way. I can't just have her go to him. Something's got to take place for it to happen, if it does, because he doesn't like to get all personal and whatnot. Thanks for the review!**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for reviewing! Knowing it and not being able to stop it would make it that much worse…poor girl. The only way to stop it would be if Harry kills Voldemort…but that doesn't happen until May of 1998. And it's still 1997… maybe she can find a way to change things though…she's clever like that…**

* * *

**CHAPTER 65**

When the first day of March comes, no one is allowed to go to Hogsmeade, despite this having been the day scheduled for it. I guess none of us should be overly surprised, especially since everyone knows about Katie Bell being cursed last time we went to Hogsmeade.

Regardless of our now plan-less day, something interesting _does_ happen. Before breakfast, word spreads quickly that Ron has been poisoned. I have a feeling this one of Draco's schemes to kill Dumbledore, but rather than go speak to Draco himself, I want to speak with Snape.

My gut says not to; it says to go to the hospital wing and confront Fred, who I have no doubt is here for his brother. But that's not the only thing. Something sends the hairs on the back of my neck into a frenzy as I approach Snape's office. My hand reaches up to knock but freezes. Butterflies turn over in my stomach. I've never felt like this while going to speak to Snape before, and I don't know how to react. Against my better judgment, I enter his office.

The professor is sitting at his desk, staring at the door, but he doesn't seem to notice me. I slowly walk to the seat I usually sit in. "Professor," I say quietly.

There is no evidence that he hears me.

"Professor," I try again, slightly louder this time.

His eyes open wide and dart to me, but he doesn't speak.

"I…I wanted to talk to you…about…the other day," I say.

Snape still gives no sign that he's even registered that I'm here. I thought it was going to be difficult to speak with him about this, but with him making no effort to acknowledge me at all, this is going to be impossible. Despite what I previously believed, I haven't been able to look Snape in the eye since our conversation about Voldemort raping me. I never thought I'd feel awkward around him, not after I kissed him two Christmases ago. Feeling weird around him was never my fear. Now I can't help but feel uncomfortable around him. I should have never spoken to him about Voldemort. It was stupid of me.

But I can't clear the air between us if he won't say anything.

"Professor," I whisper desperately. "Please, say something!" He seems to be peering straight through me. "LOOK AT ME!"

This seems to do the trick, for he takes a deep breath, almost as if he hasn't been breathing this whole time, and looks at me with confusion. "Charlotte?" he asks. "What are you doing here? How long have you been here?"

"Almost fifteen minutes," I answer. "Professor, I need to speak with you."

His eyes gloss over. "Get out of my office," he growls.

"Professor?" I ask.

"Get out of my office," he repeats.

I freeze. I don't know what to do. Snape hasn't been rude to me in…well, I can't even remember the last time he was harsh toward me. "Professor?" I ask again.

"GET OUT!" he bellows.

I slowly stand to my feet, praying that the tears won't come. After everything I've told him, after everything I've come to him with…he's no different than Bellatrix: Nice to me only when necessary. I go for the door and choke back the tears.

"Where are you going?" his voice is still angry.

Is he bipolar? I turn around, and my own fury flares. "I'm leaving, _professor,"_ I sneer, "like _you_ told me to. Apparently what I have to say doesn't matter anymore."

"You agreed; there is no further discussion."

"_What?_" I shriek. "You think I've agreed – I will never _agree_ to –"

"You take too much for granted!" he says. He whips out his wand and points it at me. "Why don't I just go ahead and get it over with then, eh?"

"Do what?" I ask quietly. I'm not going to take out my wand. Something isn't right with this scene. I don't know what's going on.

"Why don't I just go ahead and kill you? Get it over with now? After all, you're going to die anyway!"

I take a few steps closer to him. "Go on then!" I roar. "I'd rather die than be taken by Voldemort anyway! Go ahead! You know the spell! Do it!"

The hand pointing the wand at me trembles horrifically. I'm not even sure if he could hit me with a spell if he wanted to. A question sparks in his black eyes. Then he slowly looks down at his wand. His mouth opens a tad bit, as if he's going to voice his silent question. Instead, he tosses the wand onto the floor in front of his desk. He looks at his hand like it's burning. Then he looks at me. "Ch-Charlotte?" he asks.

"Professor," I say slowly. "Would like to explain to me what just happened?"

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"Are you feeling all right?" I reply.

He looks down at himself. "I believe so. Why?"

"You just threatened to kill me," I say quietly.

He smirks. "Then you must have done something to deserve it," he says.

I don't know what to say. Something is definitely wrong with him. In that moment, the universe decides to show mercy on me, despite having been making my life miserable for the past few years. Snape collapses to his knees and begins vomiting blood on the floor. I rush over to him. "Professor," I say gently. "What's wrong?" I take my wand out and vanish what expelled from his stomach.

"I took it too early…" he mumbles.

"Sir?"

"It wasn't finished…"

"What wasn't finished?" I ask frantically.

"I needed it…" he tries to explain. "I thought…it would help…" More blood spews from his mouth. "It didn't…it wasn't finished…but I couldn't…wait any longer…out of time…"

"What are you talking about?" I screech.

But he can't answer, for he's again puking blood. I reach down and put my hands under his arms and do my best to help him to his feet. He braces himself on his desk, and together we are able to haul him to his feet. He leans heavily on me as I assist him to the chair behind the desk. He's paler than he usually is, and his skin is clammy. My guess is that this is due to the blood he's losing. "Go…to the…hospital wing…" he moans. "Blood-Replenishing Potion…hurry…tell no one…"

"But what about…whatever else is wrong with you?" I ask.

"It'll wear…off…" he says. "Hurry…"

I go to the other side of his desk and pick up his wand. I hand it to him before I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and leave his office. I make no stops. I'm sure people will hear me, but I'm hoping that since this is Hogwarts, no one will question it. I pass Harry, Hermione, and Hagrid as I make my way to the hospital. I hear Hagrid saying, "…Snape makin' investigations in his House, in Slytherin. Well, there's nothin' strange about that!" Harry and Hermione exchange looks that imply that they think the exact opposite of it not being strange. "All the Heads o' Houses were asked ter look inter that necklace business –"

"Yeah, but Dumbledore's not having rows with the rest of them, is he?" Harry interrupts.

The tone in Hagrid's voice is a professor-like warning, but I can't hear what he says. Snape is in need of the Blood-Replenishing Potion, and I don't think it's a good idea for me to dally so I can hear what's going on. But Snape and Dumbledore having rows? This can't be good. I could ask Snape, but I don't think I want to risk anything, not yet at least.

At last, I reach the hospital wing. The door is propped open, luckily, and I'm able to enter without making a scene. Ron is lying on one of the beds, his family surrounding him. My breath almost catches in my throat when I see Fred. To stop from making any noise (I don't know why I didn't do it earlier), I cast the Silencing Charm at myself and go to the back room, where Madam Pomfrey keeps the potions.

It takes nearly ten minutes before I find the potion, grab a vial of it, and stuff it into my robes. I quickly try to get out hospital wing. I stop for a moment and just look at Fred. I so desperately want to speak with him. This is the first time I've seen him in months…and my heart is ripping out of my chest. I dash out of the hospital wing before I have to bear watching my heart fall onto the floor and stop beating altogether.

I don't even bother knocking on Snape's door. I just barge in, shut his door, and rush over to him. I take the charm off myself and unstop the vial. Snape's eyes are vacant, so I don't even question whether or not my next move is a smart one. I put the vial to his lips, tip his head back, and empty the potion into his mouth. He splutters for a second but manages to swallow it nevertheless. I vanish the rest of the blood that he puked up while I was gone.

Then I take my usual seat. "Professor Snape," I say softly. His eyes drift from his door to my eyes. "What happened?" But I know he won't be able to speak, so I sit there and watch him as the potion takes effect.

* * *

It takes a few hours, but Snape eventually comes back around. He fell asleep within five minutes of taking the potion, but now he's waking up again. I've missed both breakfast and lunch because I didn't want to leave Snape alone while…well, whatever it is that happened to him. "What are you doing?" he asks groggily. "What happened?"

"That's what I was hoping you could explain to me," I reply.

"What are you talking about?"

"I came in here earlier…to speak with you…" I say. "And you went…crazy. You pulled your wand on me, threatening to kill me. Then you threw it like it burned you… You started puking blood, professor! You had me go steal Blood-Replenishing Potion from the hospital wing!" He tries to speak, but I quickly add, "You kept mumbling things like 'I took it too early' or 'I thought it would work' or 'I needed it.' You said something was 'out of time.' You said 'it wasn't finished.' Care to explain?"

His head turns to the cauldron brewing something in the corner. I stand and go over to it. "Don't touch that!" he orders.

I look back at him. "What is this?"

"I'm not going to tell you that," he replies. "You don't need to know."

I take out my wand and point it at the potion. "I'll vanish it. You know I will. What is it?"

Snape tries to stand, but he's still too weak and falls back into his chair. "I've been brewing it since the beginning of November!" he argues.

"What is it?" I repeat.

"Things are happening, Charlotte. Things that you don't understand," he says. "I need it."

"What is _it?"_ I ask impatiently.

Snape struggles to his feet. "Listen, Charlotte," he says calmly, "there are things for which I need that. I don't expect you to under –"

"Does it have anything to do with the row you had with Professor Dumbledore?" I interrupt.

"I don't know how you know about that, but it is certainly not what you're thinking," Snape replies. "He's asked me to do something, that's all."

"Asked you to do something?" I repeat. "Like what?"

"You wouldn't understand," he answers.

"Wouldn't I, though?" I say. "I understand a lot more than you give me credit for." I set my jaw determinedly. "What is this potion?"

Snape relents and says, "Felix Felicis – Liquid Luck."

"It brought no good luck to you, professor," I reply. "Are you sure you made it right?"

"Of course I did!" he exclaims.

"Then why were you…whatever it was that you were earlier?"

"What?"

"Why did the potion have such a bad effect on you?" I clarify.

"I took it too early," he states. "It has to brew for six months. It's only been brewing for five, but –"

"You were the Potions Master for _sixteen years_! How could you possibly take this early?" I reply.

"Because I was out of time!" he says. "I was desperate! The headmaster has asked me to do things – things I would rather die than do! I was hoping –"

"That if you took the potion you could get out of it?" I ask quietly. "But you took it early…"

"I didn't have a choice! I needed it for our meeting!"

"You could have died!"

"Then so be it!"

"What use will you be dead?" I shout. "Voldemort would stand a chance of winning this! I would be left to face him on my own! Dumbledore would be left without his informant! Bellatrix would have been proven right! You only think of yourself!" I turn back to the potion. "_Evanesce." _The Felix Felicis disappears.

"NO!" Snape roars. He tries to attack me, but with all the blood he lost, he's still too weak. He doesn't make it three feet before having to stop and grab onto the shelves for balance.

I storm from the room.

I take a detour to the library and go by the hospital wing, not sure if I should be hoping to see Fred there or not. He's not, so I'm left with no other choice than to think it was the right thing for me not to speak with him. I dodge the library and go to McGonagall's office instead. She opens the door within seconds of me knocking and invites me in.

"I thought you'd gone into hiding," she says.

"What do you mean?" I reply, already knowing exactly what she meant.

"You were missing from both breakfast and lunch in the Great Hall," she answers. "Where were you?"

Should I tell her the truth? I should at least tell her part of it… "Something was wrong with Professor Snape," I say. "I was trying to help him."

McGonagall seems suspicious of this. "What was wrong with him? He didn't come to the hospital wing. Surely it must not have been too severe."

"He…he took a potion…but it hadn't fully brewed yet –"

"He was the Potions Master for sixteen years," she interjects. "And he just took a potion before it was finished brewing?"

"That's what I told him!" I answer. "But he claims he was desperate – and I don't know why. He wouldn't tell me, of course."

"Why did he not go to the hospital wing? Better yet, why did you not tell anyone about this?" she replies.

"He wasn't strong enough to get to the hospital wing – he was puking blood. And I didn't tell anyone because he forbade me to," I answer truthfully. "Believe me, I would have come to you straightaway…but he trusted me not to speak of it."

"You're speaking of it now," she comments.

"Because it's after the fact, and it's to you."

I can tell she's tempted to smile, but she doesn't. "Poppy – Madam Pomfrey – said nothing about you coming for anything."

"I…" I sigh. I might as well confess. "I used the Disillusionment Charm to sneak in. Then I stole Blood-Replenishing Potion. The Weasleys were all there, but they didn't see me. How are they?"

"I'll have to inform the headmaster that you stole from the hospital wing," she says sadly.

I nod. "I understand," I say quietly.

"The Weasleys are a little shaken, but otherwise fine," she says.

I meet her eye. "And…and Fred?" I whisper.

Compassion fills her gaze. "Doing well. He and George said they were trying to buy Zonko's in Hogsmeade to have another branch for the joke shop." I smile. Though I'm hurt that I'm not a part of Fred's life, I can't help but feel thrilled that he's doing okay. "Where is Professor Snape now?"

I look up. "In his office, seething over the fact that I vanished his potion," I say.

"You did what?"

The tone in her voice implies nothing but disapproval. "Well, it's a really long story. The two of us – Professor Snape and I – had a row. For revenge, I vanished his potion…"

"What did he do after?"

"Shouted at me. Then I left."

"I can't stop any punishment that he deems necessary," she says. "He's your Head of House."

"I know," I reply. "I'll just…pull at his heartstrings a bit…talk about how fearful I am of the future…he understands what it's like to be around Voldemort – he was in my shoes during the First Wizarding War. Well, not exactly the same situation…but he understands – can empathize – nevertheless." I look away from her. "It's nice to talk to someone about Voldemort who knows firsthand what he's like in person…someone who's experienced his horror and can relate to it…" I smile sadly. "But it's also nice to have someone who doesn't know his horror firsthand, someone who can simply comfort me, someone who can simply be there and help me be brave." And I'm sure she knows I'm talking about her.

Unfortunately, I can't stay with her long because I have to go tutor Christopher, Emma, Julia, and Jacob in the art of Transfiguring mice into snuffboxes.

* * *

**Good idea or bad idea that she vanished his potion?**

**Were you expecting it...either the vanishing or the potion in general?**

**Do you think Snape will tell her what Dumbledore has asked him to do?**

**Review!**


	66. Chapter 66

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I was hoping to catch most people off guard, so I'm glad that worked! I was also hoping that most people would understand why she did what she did. Oh, thanks for reviewing my Pirates of the Caribbean story; I know it's not as well-written as this one. I wrote it a while back, so I was newer to the whole writing things lol.**

**steffy potter: Thanks for the favorite and the review! Thanks! I didn't think I was good enough to get nominated for that though! It was a shock to say the least. I thought about Imperiusing him, but I figured he'd probably be one of the people that can resist it lol. I don't think Snape will tell her either, unless it's absolutely necessary. She would definitely become depressed. I've got plans for Fred and Charlotte…**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I was hoping most people would not be expecting that:) I like to throw twists in to keep people on the edge of their seats! I wasn't expecting to be nominated. It was such a honor, but it's readers like you who made it possible!**

**Rubzdiamond: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're still here:) I'm glad you're loving it! That makes it easier to write it! I love it when people tell me they love my story! It means so much to me**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! You actually read it 12 times? Wow, I'm honored. And I was hoping most people wouldn't be expecting it when she vanished it. I like to throw curves in there for an entertainment effect:)**

**Candiblu: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're back!**

**Chapter 62: I understand you not being able to review every chapter right now, but I do appreciate a review on every chapter! That means so much! I can't give away too much about what the Weasleys do… Bellatrix is finally realizing that their relationship has to grow, which is good for her.**

**Chapter 63: I was nervous about how people would take the scene with Bellatrix, to be honest. I wanted her to show a side toward Charlotte that Charlotte had never seen before, you know? I wanted to establish a firm relationship between Draco and Charlotte since they are both going through a lot of the same stuff. They can help each other.**

**Chapter 64: I meant for her to send small change, just in case. I knew the system was weird, so I decided I'd just give her some extra. I don't think she ever meant to say it aloud, and she doesn't want to add stress to McGonagall by bringing up the rape issue. We'll just have to wait and see if she ever brings it up;) **

**Chapter 65: I don't think Snape intends on telling her because it would ruin his whole cover. He's already said that she's "emotionally compromised" so I don't think he'd want to run the risk of her letting it slip that Snape is actually working for Dumbledore. And yeah, I'm referring to him killing Dumbledore.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 66**

It's been a few weeks since the incident with Ron's poisoning, and I still have yet to speak with Draco about all of it. It seems that he's becoming more and more aloof as the end of term approaches. This unnerves me. He's becoming more sickly-looking than ever, but he refuses to drink more of the Elixir to Induce Euphoria. And if he refuses to drink it, I refuse to ask for more. If he can suffer through this without a potion, so can I.

I have not spoken with Snape one-on-one since the potion mishap. I haven't been to his office, and he certainly hasn't approached me. I fear he still might be holding a grudge toward me about the Liquid Luck, which in hindsight was an awful thing to vanish. I could have stolen some when it finished brewing…now I'm still in square-one for finding ways to stop Voldemort from making me his slave in the next few months.

Part of me wants to go speak with Snape after my Defense Against the Dark Arts class today. It might be time we address this issue and get it behind us. Probably going back to how he sees himself in me, he puts things behind us easily. I just have to be the one who initiates it. Exhilarated at the idea of being on speaking terms with Snape again, I make my way to his class.

Though I'm one of the first into the room, Snape says nothing to me. It's unsettling to have lost the person whose guidance is the most valuable in facing Voldemort. He knows more about that than anyone else really. I'm taking out my books and organizing my things when I hear, "Late again, Potter," come from Snape. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

I look around. If Harry's late, he's only just, but nothing can be done about Snape's attitude toward Harry. And besides, if there was, I don't think I'd point it out. If tormenting the child of James Potter makes Snape feel better about losing Lily to him, then so be it. I can't say I fully blame him. If Fred were to fall in love with another, I'm sure I'd be bitter toward their child, just as Snape is toward Harry. And it's probably worse since Harry looks so much like James, Snape's childhood tyrant.

"Before we start, I want your dementor essays," the professor says. He waves his wand, and the essays fly out of each of the students' bags and up to his desk where they form a nice pile. "And I hope for your sakes that they are better than the tripe I had to do on resisting the Imperius Curse. Now, if you will all open your books to page – what is it, Mr. Finnigan?"

"Sir," Seamus begins, "I've been wondering, how do you tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost? Because there was something in the paper about an Inferius –"

"No, there wasn't," Snape cuts him off.

"But sir, I heard people talking –"

"If you had actually read the article in question, Mr. Finnigan, you would have known that the so-called Inferius was nothing but a smelly sneak thief by the name of Mundungus Fletcher."

I know that name. That man is in the Order, or at least that's what I believe since he was at Grimmauld Place. Harry must know this as well, for he mutters something Ron and Hermione.

"But Potter seems to have a lot to say on the subject," Snape says. "Let us ask Potter how we would tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost."

I can almost visibly see Harry's mind turning for an answer. "Er – well – ghosts are transparent," he says.

"Oh, very good," Snape interrupts. "Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. '_Ghosts are transparent.'_"

Pansy giggles in an overly high-pitched voice, and again I find it hard not to take out my wand and do something to her to make her shut her mouth. "Yeah, ghosts are transparent," Harry continues, obviously struggling to keep his anger at bay, "but Inferi are dead bodies, aren't they? So they'd be solid –"

"A five-year-old could have told us as much," Snape sneers at him. "The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard's spells. A ghost, I trust that you are all aware by now, is the imprint of a departed soul left upon the earth…and of course, as Potter so wisely tells us, _transparent." _

"Well, what Harry said is the most useful if we're trying to tell them apart!" Ron jumps in to defend his mate. "When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"

And as much as I try not to, I smile. It's not as bad as the laughter from others, but Snape's warning glare shuts us all up mightily quickly. "Another ten points from Gryffindor," Snape announces. "I would expect nothing more sophisticated from you, Ronald Weasley, the boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room."

Okay, that was cold and harsh and not necessary…but that's who Snape is.

"Now open your books to page two hundred and thirteen," the professor commands, not doing a good job of hiding his smirk, "and read the first two paragraphs on the Cruciatus Curse."

Textbooks never really seem to properly illustrate or describe what it's like to endure the Cruciatus Curse, in my opinion.

At the end of class, when everyone gets up to leave, I lag behind, slowly putting all of my things back into my bag. I stay there until everyone else has gone. Snape gives me an odd look. "I assume you didn't stay behind to ask more about the Inferi compared to ghosts?" he says.

"I thought you said never to assume things, professor," I reply.

He smirks. "It's good to see you pay attention. What do you want?"

I sigh. "The other day…"

"You mean the beginning of this month?" he interjects. "Nearly three weeks ago?"

"Yes, professor," I answer quietly.

"What about it?"

I meet his eye. "I…I came to say…I wanted to…" he watches me with false intrigue. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

"Say what?" he asks innocently.

I bite my lip. "I'm…I apologize, professor, for vanishing your potion…" I look away from him.

He's silent for a moment and doesn't speak until I look back at him. "Very well then."

"Just like that, you're over it _just like that_?" I ask.

"I got over once I came back around," he replies. "I realized that I've been desperate all year, but not even that potion can overcome the Unbreakable Vow. So if anyone is truly missing out, it's you."

I look away. "Yeah, I got that."

* * *

When the weekend comes, most of the sixth-years are going to Hogsmeade for extra practice Apparating before the test in a fortnight. I'm not going. I know how to Apparate, so I'll just show up and take the test. It doesn't bother me much.

But that's not the main reason I'm not going. I'm not going because Draco has offered to take me to the Room of Requirement. So as the other sixth-years head to the entrance hall to make their way to Hogsmeade, I go with Draco up to the Room of Requirement, cloaked in the Disillusionment Charm, of course, so Goyle the lookout won't see me.

I take the charm off once the door closes behind us. "Sorry about that," Draco says. "Crabbe and Goyle don't know the truth about you. If they did, I'm sure they wouldn't act like such pricks to you."

"It's fine," I reply. "I use that charm a lot, so it doesn't bother me that I had to use it just then." I clear my throat. "Were you the one…the poison…was that you?"

"Yeah," he groans. "I should have known better than –" but he stops.

"What did you do, Draco? If anyone can be trusted with this, I swear it's me," I say quietly.

"Madam Rosmerta," he says.

"Bartender at the Three Broomsticks?"

"She's under the Imperius Curse. She delivered the necklace to Katie Bell. She gave the mead laced with poison to Slughorn to give to Dumbledore." He grunts. "She should have known better than have Slughorn deliver it…"

"How have you managed to keep this all to yourself?" I whisper.

"I haven't."

"What does that mean? Who have you gone to?"

"Moaning Myrtle – a ghost in the bathroom," he answers softly. "She…she understands what's going on."

"And I don't?" I ask, slightly offended. If anyone knows what it's like, it's me. How can he not see that?

"I didn't want to add stress to you. I know…this is difficult for you as it is…"

I calm down and move on. "So, how far along have you come with the Vanishing Cabinet?"

"I can get things through to the other one, but I don't believe it's ready for something as large as a human, as the Death Eaters."

"How…how much longer…do you think?"

"I can't be sure." We stop in front of the Cabinet in question. "Not much longer now," he doesn't sound enthusiastic, as most would be if their mission was soon to be accomplished. He grabs a chair. "I hate to ask this, but could you…maybe Transfigure it into a creature…or something…"

I smile. "Is that really why you wanted me in here?"

"Not completely," he says.

I point my wand at it. "You'd better be ready," I comment. I wave my wand, and the chair becomes a pig. Draco dives on top of it to stop it from bolting off.

"How do you do that so easily?" he asks, struggling to grab hold of the animal.

"I focused on Transfiguration when I was on the run – well, Transfiguration and Charms. Let go of it!" He does, and I hit it with the Impediment Jinx. The pig freezes. "You should hurry."

Draco grabs the pig and throws it into the Cabinet. "_Harmonia Nectere Passus_," he recites. The squealing of the pig silences. He opens the Cabinet, and the pig is gone.

"Where is it?" I ask.

"Borgin and Burkes," he answers. Then he closes the door back. He pulls up two chairs, and we both sit down. "The time it takes depends on who's around the Cabinet when the pig shows up."

"And Goyle stays out there the whole time?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "He takes Polyjuice Potion – you know what that is, right?"

"Of course I do," I answer, "but I've never had any use for it."

"Neither have I really, until this year."

"You seem confident you'll succeed," I comment.

"I have to be, if not I'll dive into this pit of despair…someone's going to die this year…and I'm the only one who determines who that is: Me or Dumbledore," he says quietly.

"I understand what you're going through."

"I know you do. And I hate to admit it, but when we were dating, I never fully understood what kind of pressure you were under. I always acted like I did, but… Now I do."

I offer him a weak smile. "That's fine. No one _completely_ knows what I'm facing."

"I know it's not my place, Charlotte – it's still fine if I call you that, right, you don't go by Aurelia now?" I nod. "I know it's not my place…but could I ask something of you."

"Sure, Draco. I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best to try."

He closes his eyes. "Don't…don't give…don't go willingly." His gray eyes meet my blue ones. "Don't go willingly."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"Make sure _he_ knows you're against this. Harm his soul that much more…you know…him forcing…"

"Draco," I take his hand, "if Voldemort," he flinches, "wants me, he'll take me kicking and screaming," I've used this same expression to Snape, but I think it fits perfectly for my situation. "I'll never willingly give myself to him."

"I don't know how you do it…" he says quietly. Neither of us says anything for a few minutes. "So what happened between you and Zabini at the Christmas party?"

"I know it won't mean much to you, but he mocked Fred," I say. "He tried getting me to go on a date with him. I said no because of Fred… Zabini didn't like that."

He nods. "I don't like Fred, or any of the Weasleys. They're blood traitors," he throws his hands up to calm me down, knowing that I'm ready to pounce, "but he made you happy. And with all that you've been through, I believe you deserve the chance to be happy, even if that means you're with a blood traitor, or a Mudblood for that matter."

I smile at him. "Since when do you not care about the blood status?" I ask.

"I do care. I'll never be caught dead with a blood traitor or a Mudblood or a half-blood, but if that's what you want, I won't try to stop you. You deserve to be happy. I…I _want_ you to be happy."

Tears fill my eyes, and I can't stop myself from leaning forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Draco."

He holds me tight. We break apart when a thud comes from the Vanishing Cabinet. "I think it's been sent back," he says. We stand and walk to the Cabinet. Draco opens the door, and we find a dead pig. "It's becoming stronger – the connection, I mean."

"Did the Cabinet kill the pig?" I ask stupidly.

"No, that's whoever is on the other side," he answers.

"Who is it?"

"Either Borgin or one of the other Death Eaters." He pulls the dead creature out of the Cabinet and sets it on the floor. "Could you change it back into the chair? It might start to smell…"

"Sure," I say. I point my wand at the dead pig, and it turns back into the chair. But the back of the chair is cracked and falls onto the floor. "Well…"

"We should get going, before someone realizes we're missing," he says. I nod and we head toward the exit.

I'm about to reach to open the door to leave the Room of Requirement when we hear a high-pitched squeal. Draco seizes me by the waist and pulls me away from the wall. "Shhh! That was Goyle," he whispers. "Someone must be out there…I bet it's Potter. He's been overly suspicious of me this year."

"With good reason," I laugh. "After all, you are up to something."

He smirks.

The two of us stand there for half an hour in silence. "OUCH!" comes through the wall.

Nearly another hour passes before an odd noise reaches us. "That's Goyle's signal," Draco announces. "It's clear."

We quickly leave the Room of Requirement and don't look back. We go in different directions.

I'm walking down the corridor when I catch sight of someone I'm sure I know. I quickly speed up and grab their shoulder. "Tonks!" I greet her.

My cousin turns around. "Wotcher, Charlotte," she replies.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Came to see Dumbledore," she answers. "But he's not here… I hear you're a part of the Order now."

I smile. "Yeah, Dumbledore let me join when I turned seventeen," I say.

"Do you get to do much, still being in school?"

"I patrolled the castle a few times, but Dumbledore told Snape to have me keep an eye on…certain people," I say.

"Was it everything you dreamed it would be?"

"It's so much more!" I exclaim. "I'm involved in schemes to help bring down You-Know-Who, which is all I ever wanted."

She smiles sadly at me. "That's great."

"Is…is it still Remus?" I ask her.

Tears fill her eyes. "Yeah…yeah, it's…it's worse now though," she whispers. "He…he's admitted to…he loves me too."

"How is that worse?" I ask quietly.

"He won't act…on his feelings…he says he's 'too old, too dangerous, too poor.'" She looks away. "Someone was killed by the werewolf Greyback…he's been undercover with him…" I take Tonks into my arms. There's nothing that can be said to comfort someone in a time like this, not when the one they love could be dead. After a minute, she says, "I have to go. Take care of yourself."

"The same to you," I reply. With a heavy heart for her, I watch her walk away.

* * *

**What did you think about her conversations with Draco?**

**Do you think she'll ever have another chance with Fred?**

**Review!**


	67. Chapter 67

**Don't forget that I'm going to update twice on Saturday!**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted Charlotte and Draco to remain friends for some future stuff lol. I know I say that a lot…but it's necessary cause it's one of the few things I have set in concrete for Charlotte. If Fred comes back around, it will certainly be a long time. I'm not even sure if he will or not. It's in the air right now ;) **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I love how you just described Draco! It was great, and it made me smile. I don't think I could have described him any better. He's such a sweetheart to Charlotte and all. I've always thought he was kind of misunderstood… What all does Snape need to get back to normal?**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! You make me sound like an evil person when you say "knowing you she'll never get back together with Fred and she will only make it worse." Nah, I'm kidding. There's a chance for them. It's up for debate right now honestly. Actually, a great deal of her future is up for debate. There are so many roads I could send her down. It doesn't matter if you can't review all the time. I won't hold it against you :)**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I enjoy writing their friendship. They still love each other (not in love anymore though) and I wanted to make that clear through their friendship. I would love for Fred and Charlotte to get back together, but I'm undecided right now. I guess I'll choose based on what helps the story along a bit better:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 67**

I reluctantly follow the others who are taking the Apparition test down to Hogsmeade. If I am able to come out of this Voldemort thing, I want to be normal; I want to be able to start a normal life as a witch. Maybe I actually _will_ become an Obliviator. But if I want to live a normal life, I need to follow the rules of the Ministry. That means I must get my Apparating license.

I see the red hair of Ron and the bushy hair of Hermione walking ahead of me. I know Ron and I are not on cordial terms at the moment, but I speed to catch up with them anyways. I don't want to be alone today. "Hi," I greet them.

"What do you want?" Ron asks.

"Ron," Hermione says calmly.

He scowls.

"I don't mean to intrude," I say. "I just…didn't quite like the idea of being alone today."

"Why?" Hermione asks.

"I have a bad feeling, to be honest," I say.

"Afraid you won't pass the test?" Ron suggests.

"Not at all," I reply, doing my best to stay nice to Ron. He doesn't know what's going on, and as such, I understand him being upset with me over Fred. "I've been Apparating for years." I meet Hermione's eyes. "I thought you knew that."

"Why would I know that?"

"On the train leaving for the holidays, I said something about having to Apparate to meet my mother," I say. "I thought you would have caught that…"

"So you are becoming close to your mother!" Ron interjects. "And you still claim we can trust you!"

"How'd the holiday go?" Hermione asks. She seems to be the only one of the Golden Trio who doesn't believe I'm willingly serving Voldemort.

"It was odd," I say truthfully. "I'm not sure if I would do it again."

"Why did you do it the first time?" Ron questions.

"Because when Bellatrix Lestrange wants something, no excuse in heaven, in hell, or on earth can change her mind," I say simply.

Hermione looks uncomfortable. "Where did she take you?"

"To some cottage," I say. "I can't tell you where it is because –"

"Well, why not?" Ron interrupts. "Are you trying to protect her?"

"I can't tell you because she's the Secret-Keeper. It's under the Fidelius Charm," I reply. "You know, just like the Order headquarters."

"How do you know about that?" Ron asks.

I sigh. "I'm a part of the Order, Ron."

"Dumbledore let you in, did he?" the redheaded boy asks.

"Yes, he did," I say calmly.

"Does he know that you are to become a Death Eater, then?" Ron gets ruder with each question, and it's hard to ignore.

"He knows exactly what I'm supposed to do in the future," I answer.

Ron quiets up after that. Hermione asks, "Why are you taking the test if you can already Apparate?"

"To look normal," I say. "When Voldemort is destroyed again, I want to be able to live a normal life."

Ron makes it a point not to speak again, and by the time we reach Hogsmeade, I'm thrilled to walk away from them. I believe I could have remained with them for the duration of the test had it not been for Ron. So instead, I go and wait for the examiner by myself.

Well, I'm alone until Daphne Greengrass walks over to me. She glances over her shoulder, probably trying to make sure that none of her friends are watching. She hasn't spoken to me since the incident in the dormitory, but I haven't really cared. I've too much on my plate to worry about immature, giggly, gossiping girls. "Hi, Charlotte," she says.

"Hi, Daphne," I reply.

She glances back again.

"They're not over there," I assure her.

She blushes. "Right…sorry…I just, you know, don't want them to see me…"

"Cause I'm odd right, something's wrong with me?" I say.

She smiles sadly. "Yeah, something like that," she answers. "Listen, I came to warn you…"

"Warn me? Warn me about what?"

The girl bites her bottom lip, like she doesn't want to say, but she feels obligated to. "Just…don't go into the spare classroom in the dungeons," she says. "It's…Pansy found…a boggart. She…she wanted to trick you into the room…to scare you."

"With a boggart?" I ask.

"Yeah…"

"That's the thing that takes on the shape of someone's worst fear, right?"

"That's why I wanted to warn you," she says. "I don't know what's going on in your life, but it seems that you would be an easy prey for a boggart…"

"And it's in the spare classroom, you say?" I ask.

"In the cabinet thing," Daphne answers.

I smile. "I'll make sure to go in there. Thanks for the tip."

"I just – what?"

"I said I'll make sure to go in there. If it becomes my worst fear, it'll give me a chance to brace myself for when it actually comes about," I reply.

"But…that's crazy!"

"Not if I'll be forced to face my fear in a few months' time. I'd better be prepared," I say.

She nods slowly. "Okay…"

I smile at her. "You should better go find Pansy before she sees you're speaking with me," I say.

She walks off. I can't help but be slightly touched that she wanted to warn me. I'll have to find away to repay her.

As I expected, when I take my Apparition Test, I pass it perfectly. Well, not exactly perfectly because I want to seem like an amateur, but I do it pretty much perfectly. Needless to say, I get the Apparating license. I see Ron and Hermione go into the Three Broomsticks, and while I'm tempted to go join them just to spite Ron, I talk myself out of it. I want to go face the boggart. So that's what I'm going to do. I head for the castle.

I don't really speak to anyone on my journey, which is not that odd for me, considering how anti-social I'm beginning to realize I am. I'm not sure if it's because I'm anti-social or if it's because I don't do well with stupid…

Whichever it is, my way to the castle is a quiet one, and when I go through the doors, I go straight for that spare classroom.

I slowly push open the door to the room. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea…but my illogical side is overriding my common sense. I close the door behind me. I'd rather do this when there is no one around to see me. I don't want word getting around that I was petrified by a boggart. As I am already aware, my year was taught to defeat a boggart in their third year.

I walk over to the only cabinet in the room, a cabinet that looks like it once held textbooks and other school supplies. Slowly, I draw my wand. Then I wave it at the door. The boggart comes flying out and lands in front of me as it prepares to take on my worst fear. Within seconds, I'm staring into the face of Lord Voldemort. I lose my breath, but I don't shy away. No, I'm going to face the boggart Voldemort to prepare myself to face the real Voldemort in roughly three months.

"Dear one," the boggart speaks. I didn't know they could do that. It comes closer to me. My heartbeat quickens. "Having my child is an honor."

"Is it?" I reply. Why am I talking to it as if it's actually Voldemort?

It takes a step closer to me, stretching its hand out to grab me. The shriek escapes me before I can stop it. I'm backing away so quickly that I trip over my own feet and am rendered helpless as the boggart Voldemort inches closer and closer. I point my wand at it. "_Riddikulus!"_ Nothing happens. _"Riddikulus!"_ I try again. I've read this spell before, and I know it should be stopping the boggart, but it isn't. "_Riddikulus!"_ Voldemort continues creeping closer.

"I won't harm you," he says. "This is an honor."

"_Riddikulus!"_ I scream.

Before I realize what's happening, there is a gust of wind followed by a large black cloud. Someone says, "_Riddikulus!"_ The boggart disappears completely. "What do you think you're doing?" This someone is rather angry…

"I…was just…trying to…" I don't really know what to say. It was a stupid thing for me to come here.

Two hands grab me and haul me to my feet. I'm now looking into the furious face of Snape. "What were you thinking?" he asks.

"Would you believe me if I said I didn't know about the boggart being in here?" I ask.

"Until you just asked me that, I believe I would have," he replies.

I take a deep breath. "I…just thought…it'd be better…if I could face him – the Dark Lord – as a boggart…I thought…it might help me…you know…in a few months…"

Snape's stone-hard face softens a little. He leads me out of the room. "I feel as if nothing good ever comes when you enter that room," he comments.

"You're right," I say. "So why am I so tempted to continue going in there?"

"Because you want to have some amount of control over your life," Snape answers.

"It was rhetorical, professor," I groan.

"I know that." He walks to his office door. "Now if you'll excuse me, there are some things that I must do." He enters the room and closes the door.

I close my eyes. I need to speak with McGonagall. That's where I go.

I wait outside her classroom door until the second-years leave. As odd as it might seem, I have her schedule memorized (for times like these), so I know that she has a free period next. Once the last straggling second-year has left her room, I enter. "Professor," I say quietly.

"Ah, Charlotte," she says. "Come in. Come in. What can I help you with?"

"I…I just…needed to talk to you," I say.

She smiles. "I'm listening."

"I…went into the spare classroom…the one in the dungeons. There…there was a boggart…and it…it turned into…well, Voldemort. I thought…that I could…that I could handle it…but…if that's what it will be like…when, you know…then…I don't think…I don't think I'll be able to…to do anything, quite honestly."

"Charlotte," McGonagall says in that comforting way that I could listen to all day, "I'm not going to pretend I know how hard this is for you. And I'm not going to pretend that it will get better, as there is a good chance that it will not," even when she tells me the most depressing facts, I still feel better after talking to her. "But I can assure you, that I will be here for you. I will not leave you to face this alone." Tears prick the back of my eyes. "When this comes to fruition, come to me, Charlotte."

"What do you mean?" I ask. "I always come to you."

"If we are unable to stop He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and this does happen to you, I want you to come to me," she says. "I'll be here, at Hogwarts. I want you to come to me."

"Are…are you sure, professor?" I ask quietly. "I mean…there's no telling what kind of mental state I might be in…"

"That's why I want you to come here," she answers. "I'm sure your real mother will see this as the greatest gift anyone could ever receive. I don't want you to have to be around that, not after what you must face. I want you to come here."

I choke back my tears, but a few escape my eyes anyway. "Thank you, professor," I whisper, unable to conjure up my voice.

"And you are more than welcome to stay as long as you need to, even if that requires you staying here at Hogwarts over the course of the holidays. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore will not have anything against it."

"I would love to stay here for the holidays," I say, "but I'm afraid _he_ will not take too kindly to me running off. He likes to know where I am at all times. Because if something happens to me," my voice leaves me again, and I'm left talking in a whisper, "where else will he find a pureblooded daughter of the Lestranges?" Silent tears spill out of my eyes again. "I'm one-of-a-kind."

She smiles. "Yes, you are," the professor replies.

I can't stop my smile. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I say.

"It depends on how you look at it," she replies, "but I see it as a good thing. You're irreplaceable in the lives of so many people."

I don't know how to take this, so I ask, "Did you ever tell Professor Dumbledore about me stealing the potion from the hospital wing?"

"We discussed it," she answers. "But we came to the conclusion that you were trying to help a Hogwarts professor, so there will be no punishment."

"Was that your doing?" I ask.

"It could have been," she says vaguely.

I smile. "Thank you, again, professor."

* * *

Even knowing that Professor McGonagall will always be around when I need her, my duty does not seem any easier. In fact, it feels harder, if that is even possible at this time. Days that once seemed to stretch into weeks are now condensed into minutes. Everything speeds by, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Before I know what's happened, April has been left behind, and I'm standing in May, constantly dreading each morning when I wake up and realize that yet another day has passed, that yet another day has left me closer to Voldemort. I have begun a dreaded countdown. Each day, I remove a day from my calendar. I have less than two months, less than two months before my last day of freedom is truly behind me.

It's become a normal routine for me to go to McGonagall's office every night. Sometimes I stay later than I really should, but she never tells me to leave. A lot of times, I find us sitting in silence, because she cannot always bring herself to try to comfort me with words of wisdom. We sit there, both of us taking in the gravity of what is to come.

She's offered to hide me somewhere, and while the thought always brings a smile to my face (I can just imagine myself sitting in some little house protected by the Fidelius Charm and jumping at every little sound), I know it won't work like that. Snape would be blamed by Voldemort, and I have no doubt that the Dark Lord would then murder the professor. Snape is essential in the battle. He is the double agent for Dumbledore, the only one who can truly find out the plans made by Voldemort.

I've contemplated using my Metamorphmagus skills to run away. But again, that leaves Snape in danger, and we need him to win this war. And as much as I hate to admit it, I couldn't live knowing that I caused his death. I've accepted the fact that he's my mentor. I fought it and fought it, but it's true. McGonagall is the mother figure in my life, but Snape is the one I really go to if I need help with magic. I think that really came about when he started teaching me Occlumency. I would never say it out loud, to anyone, ever, but I look up to him more than most of the other students would dream looking up to him. I respect him as much as I do McGonagall and Dumbledore. I trust him.

I don't know why I was so wary of trusting him before. I've tried figuring it out, but I just see no reason why I distrusted him so much last year. Okay, so maybe I do: I thought he was a Death Eater and nothing more. Now I know that he is loyal to Dumbledore, not Voldemort. And now I, like Dumbledore, believe I would put my life in his hands and would have no worries about him turning me over to the Dark Lord or him harming me in any way or him even betraying me.

And that's a hard thing for me to do. The only people with whom I would entrust my life are Snape and McGonagall, possibly Dumbledore, but I don't know him that well. I would like to say I could put my faith like that in Mrs. Weasley, but I haven't really spoken to her much recently. Part of me says I could do it.

All that's really left to do is figure out how to trust the Golden Trio with my duty. They have to know, not because I want them to know what Voldemort will do to me, but because they need to know that he plans on having an heir. But I know them well enough to know that I cannot tell them one at a time. When I tell them, and I'll have to before the term ends, I must tell them all at the same time. And the problem with this is that Ron and Harry are so involved in the upcoming Quidditch match that I have had no chance to speak with them.

But there is no other option: They have to know.

* * *

**Do you think she stands a chance of fighting off Voldemort? Was it stupid of her to try to face the boggart?**

**Will she actually go see McGonagall or do you think people will be keeping to close of a watch on her?**

**Should she so willingly trust Snape?**

**Review!**


	68. Chapter 68

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I liked her motives for wanting to go see the boggart, but I have to agree that it was definitely not her brightest idea. At least she saw a glimpse of what it might be like…she's got a lot ahead of her…**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad it made you laugh! That was why I put it in there lol. My few friends and I are the same as Charlotte when it comes to that, so I had to put it in there:) Did you trust Snape before or after his memories? Just a random question **

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! That's what I thought: She had a good reason, she just didn't go about it correctly. She should have taken _someone_** **with her, just in case. You're right, if anyone heard that, things will get much more difficult for our poor Charlotte! We'll just have to wait and see if she gets a chance to escape to go see McGonagall, but it will be nearly impossible, all things considered. She definitely needs Snape. The Lily-Snape feels! You gotta love them! Have fun on your long weekend! I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the next few chapters when you catch back up!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! It was a good idea for her, but she went about it the wrong way lol. She should have had someone with her, just in case.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 68**

My eyes fly open. My breathing is ragged and painful. My heart is beating like I just sprinted a marathon. Sweat beads roll down my face. What day is it? Where am I? I look around, and take deep breaths. _Calm down_, I command myself. _You're still in Hogwarts. You're still safe. _But it had all seemed so real. Voldemort…he…had been there…he knew everything…from me joining the Order to me dating Draco to me dating Fred to me kissing Snape those many months ago. Voldemort had been furious…he was going to torture me…and detain me until it was the right time for my enslavement.

_Breathe,_ I remind myself. I throw the blankets off of me and go to the common room. I take a seat in a dark corner and pull my legs into the chair with me. What day is it? I think back…what day is it? I exhale. It's a couple of days before the final Quidditch match.

Now that I know what day it is, and I know where I am, and I know that Voldemort had simply been a nightmare, my heart slowly calms down, like my body is trying to convince it that all of it had been a dream. I wipe the sweat off my face with the sleeve of my shirt. How much longer do I have until…until the end of term? Until Voldemort is no longer a nightmare but a reality? Not long enough…

Soft sobs perks my head up. I look around. Where are they coming from? Who else is down here? I've come down here almost every night around this time – four in the morning – when I wake up with a nightmare, but there has never been anyone else. My eyes scan over the common room. Then I see him. The fireplace is not burning, but I know he's over there. I slowly stand and walk to him.

"Draco," I whisper.

He starts and turns to look at me hatefully. His face softens when he sees it's only me. "Charlotte," he breathes. "I didn't…I didn't realize anyone…anyone else was down here."

I sit down beside him. His body is shaking violently. His face is stained with tears. "What's wrong?" I whisper.

"I..it won't…it won't work…" he breathes. "He's going to kill me!"

I reach over and pull Draco into my arms. "You're going to be okay," I say, though I'm sure he won't be. His whole plan is flawed because of the Order and, of course, Dumbledore's immense power.

"I'm not," he says quietly.

I don't have the heart to lie to him, so I simply hold him close to me until exhaustion takes over him. I slide backward until my back is against the sofa. With Draco's head in my lap, I close my eyes and try to get back to sleep.

* * *

"It's getting worse," I say to Snape. The two of us are walking through a corridor on the sixth floor. We've been searching for Draco for hours now and have just recently caught back up with each other. "He…he doesn't believe it'll work."

"What is 'it'?" the professor asks.

"You don't know?" I quietly reply.

"Mr. Malfoy seems less than willing to allow me to assist him," Snape answers coldly.

"Is it my place to reveal his secrets?"

"I took the Unbreakable Vow," he says. "I _need_ to know."

I'm about to cave in and answer him when someone shouts, "MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!"

"Stay here," Snape commands. Then he speeds off toward the sound of the scream.

I don't want to "stay here," but I know Snape well enough to know that it is dangerous to disobey a direct order. A few minutes pass, and I find myself pacing back and forth. That's when I see him exiting the bathroom. He's supporting someone, helping them out of the bathroom. I almost lose all of my wits when I realize that it's Draco. I dash over, calling his name, begging for him to be all right.

Snape looks over at me. "Run ahead to the hospital wing. Tell Madam Pomfrey that Draco is severely injured. Hurry."

I don't hesitate a moment before I take off to the hospital wing. I slide to a stop at the door and throw it open. "Madam Pomfrey!" I call.

She looks up immediately. "What's happened?" she asks anxiously.

"It's Draco Malfoy – he's severely injured. Professor Snape is helping him," I answer.

The nurse instantly begins dashing around the room, and by the time she's got a bed ready for Draco and potions ready for to administer, Snape enters the hospital wing, still supporting Draco. Madam Pomfrey doesn't question the professor when he places the boy on the bed. I follow Snape to the door. "Wait in my office," he says in a quiet voice. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

I don't waste a moment. I dart toward his office, paying no attention to the passersby who give me odd looks. There's no telling what I look like. I'm sure I look hysterical, all things considered. But I couldn't care less about my appearance right now. Someone could have killed Draco. I need to know what's happened.

I push Snape's office door open, but I don't sit down as I usually do. I pace around the room, glancing at the clock every few minutes. Time moves in slow motion when you need it to move quickly, and what feels like years later, Snape finally enters his office. "What happened?" I ask frantically.

He looks at me gravely. "Sectumsempra," he answers.

"What? The one spell taught me to use…to _kill_ someone?"

"Yes, and someone used the spell against Malfoy," he says.

"Who – how – I thought _you_ created that spell!" I reply.

"I did."

"Then…how?" I try again.

"I wrote it…in an old textbook…someone has been using said textbook," he answers.

"_Who?"_

His black eyes lock with my blue ones. "Potter," he replies.

I fall into Snape's chair, it having been the one closest to me. "What?" I whisper. "Why?"

"I don't know," Snape says.

"Is…is Draco…will he be okay?"

"He'll survive, if that's what you're asking."

"I don't understand," I whisper. "Harry? Harry tried killing Draco?"

Snape's face becomes serious. "I don't believe Potter knew what he was doing."

Is Snape defending him? "What makes you say that?"

"I don't believe he knew what the spell did. It's not exactly taught anywhere, is it?"

I don't have a response for this.

* * *

When the day comes for the final Quidditch match, it's no secret that Harry has been given detention from Snape every Saturday until the end of term. I don't know how that will go over for their team, but I guess it' none of my concern, really. I don't care about Quidditch, and I'm not a Gryffindor. So when the time comes for everyone to go down to the pitch, I go to the hospital wing. Draco is still there, being cared for by Madam Pomfrey.

I pull a seat up to his bed. "I don't understand why I'm not allowed to leave yet," he mutters when the nurse walks off. "It's not like I'm dying…"

"Not anymore, at least," I reply.

He gives me a half-hearted smile. "Time is slipping away too quickly," he whispers.

"I've noticed." I turn my head. From where I sit, I can see the Quidditch match through the window, or at least I can see some of the players flying through the air. They look like little bees. I don't know who is who. This is one of the first times that Draco and I are not in the Room of Requirement during the Quidditch match. "Who do you think is going to win?" I ask my cousin.

"With Potter in detention?" Draco replies. "Definitely Ravenclaw. Gryffindor doesn't stand a chance."

I smile. "You sure about that?"

"Of course," he says confidently. "Potter was their only Seeker."

"I hear Ginny's not bad."

Draco scoffs.

We're pretty much silent after that. Neither of us wants to talk about Quidditch, and we certainly cannot talk about Voldemort with Madam Pomfrey bustling about the room. But I don't want to leave him. I pity him.

Nevertheless, I leave the hospital wing, and Draco, when I see the teams coming back up from the pitch. I meet McGonagall in one of the corridors. By her broad smile, it is easy to see that Gryffindor won the match, which means they won the Cup. "Congratulations!" I say to her.

"That easy to see?" she replies. I fall into step with her, not really knowing where we're going. "Why weren't you there?"

"I was with Draco, in the hospital wing," I answer.

"The two of you seem to be getting rather close again," she comments.

"Yeah, well…he's my cousin," I say, scrambling for an acceptable answer. "He's been through a lot, what with Voldemort being at his house. He's constantly worried about his mum."

McGonagall's lips thin. "And you can deal with the extra stress of helping another?" she asks. "You force yourself to take on too much, Charlotte."

"Having a lot on my plate distracts me from the real world," I say.

"Understandable enough," she replies. We stop at her office. "You're welcome to stay if you want to."

"I'd love to," I say, "but I've got to go speak with someone."

"You know you're welcome here anytime," McGonagall says.

"I know, professor," I reply. "I'll come back later." I give her a goodbye smile then head to Snape's office.

I don't pay anyone much attention. I've discovered that I do this often when I'm on a mission. I'm sort of…one-track minded most of the time. I enter Snape's office without asking his permission. "Professor," I say.

"Charlotte," he replies.

"I need to speak with you," I begin.

"I gathered that when you entered my office," he says.

I smirk, taking a seat. I bite my lip. "Professor," I say quietly, "he's…he's trying to get the Death Eaters into the castle."

"What?"

"Draco…he's trying to get the Death Eaters into the castle! You have to alert the Order!" I say. It's all spilling out now.

"How?"

"I…I don't know exactly…"

"When is he planning on doing this?" Snape asks.

"I don't know," I say truthfully.

"When you find out," the professor says, "let me know."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

The news of Gryffindor winning the Cup was only a topic of conversation for a few hours. Now, all anybody can talk about is how Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley are dating. I don't think I could be happier for them. Granted, it only makes the burn of Fred sting a bit more. But I'm not going to speak of that pain to anyone. I'm tired of complaining over a broken heart when so much more is at stake.

In the following few weeks, I can see a happy glow emanating from both Harry and Ginny. And despite everything that's going on outside the castle walls, people only seem to be able to talk about the new relationship. I don't understand, honestly. I thought that the dementor attacks would be a topic of conversation, but no. I thought Voldemort would be a topic of conversation, but no. And I'm not sure how I feel about this.

For some reason, talking about Voldemort made things easier to cope with. When no one is speaking about him, it's like the world is no longer revolving, it's like the pressure of Voldemort is bearing down harder on me than ever.

Not only can I no longer conspire about the Dark Lord with students, but I no longer have time to speak about him with Snape. His detentions with Harry are taking up the time that I used when I needed to talk. And I don't like speaking about Voldemort with McGonagall. I know I shouldn't mind, but I do. We try to keep out conversations light, not focused on what I have to do.

So with a mind laden thick with thoughts of Voldemort, I sit in the common room. Draco has not told me when he plans on bringing the Death Eaters to the castle, and this makes me more nervous than anything else I've experienced.

"What do you think about it?" Christopher asks.

I look up. I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I have not been paying any attention to the first-years. I'm sitting around a table in the common room with them. "What?"

"You seem out of it, Charlotte," Emma says. "Is something wrong?"

"Just…a lot going on," I say. "What do I think about what?"

Christopher sets a bottle of ink on the table. "_Avifors,"_ he says. There is a vivid flash of blue light, and the bottle becomes a bird. Christopher moves his wand around, and the little bird follows the wands movement. "Do you think I'll pass?"

I smile. "I'm sure of it." He grins shyly.

"What are you going to do for the holiday?" Julia asks quietly.

I nearly throw up. But I can't very well say, "I'm going to be a slave of Lord Voldemort himself," without scarring the poor kids, so instead, I say, "I'm going to be spending time with some friends."

"What friends?" Jacob asks.

"Well, the Malfoys," I say, which isn't an entire lie.

"Will we see you at all?" Christopher asks.

"I don't know."

"Will you write to us?" Emma asks.

"I'll try," I answer, though I doubt if I'll actually have time to do that, "but I don't know if I'll be able to. I'm going to be…busy over the holidays."

I don't want to stop talking to them. As odd as it for me to enjoy talking to the eleven-year-olds, I find it easier to take my mind off of Voldemort when I'm speaking with people, no matter how little said people are. Snape enters the common room. "Rodgers," he calls to me. I look over at him. "My office. Now." As I walk by Pansy, I hear her snigger to her friends. Butterflies churn in my stomach. If Snape is retrieving me from the common room, things cannot be good. Snape doesn't speak again until we enter his office, and, "Sit down," is all he says then.

I take my usual seat. "What's happened?" I ask quietly.

"As of right now?" he replies. "Nothing."

"Then what am I doing here?"

"Something _will_ happen," he answers. "It just has not happened yet."

"I'm sorry? What the devil is that supposed to mean?"

"Professor Dumbledore has called for the Order. He is leaving the castle tonight, with Harry Potter," Snape says.

My breathing quickens. "Is it happening…tonight?"

He doesn't answer me; he sits down and begins grading something on his desk.

My eyes wander around the room. How can this be happening? It can't. It can't be time already. It just can't. "Where's Professor McGonagall?" I ask him.

"In her office," Snape answers.

"Shouldn't we go get her?"

The professor places his quill down. "Why would we do that?"

"Well, if…if the Death Eaters…if they're coming tonight…shouldn't we…she's not safe! No one is safe!" I say.

"Professor McGonagall is perfectly capable of taking care of herself," he says simply.

"But –"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to go searching for her."

"Then why don't you?" I retort. "Last time she needed help, you weren't there! You should be there now!"

Snape sighs. "I cannot. I must keep you safe."

"I'M NEVER GOING TO BE SAFE!" I roar. "I WON'T LOSE HER TOO!" I hop to my feet and dash for the door, but by the time I get there, Snape has thrown up a spell that won't let me leave. I turn back to him, tears in my eyes. "Don't do this…"

"According to you, it's not what I'm doing but rather what I'm not doing," he says.

Now is not the time for his comments. "Please, professor," I whisper. "Please."

"She will be fine," he assures me. "She is a very talented witch."

"But so are the Death Eaters," I say.

"If something happens to her, feel free to hex me, curse me, jinx me, kill me," he says. "I doubt if I'll care either way."

"BUT DOING THOSE THINGS TO YOU WON'T BRING _HER_ BACK IF SHE'S KILLED!" I bellow.

"Have a seat, Charlotte," he replies. "Stop panicking. Minerva McGonagall is more than capable of taking care of herself."

I slowly walk to the seat and sit down, scowling at him the entire time.

"Some things are going to happen tonight, Charlotte," Snape says calmly.

"Really?" I interrupt sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed. If you'll please enlighten me."

"Listen to me –"

"Oh, wait!" I cut him off again. "I already know what's going to happen! Death Eaters are going to enter the castle while the Order tries to stop them, but the Death Eaters aren't really interested in taking out the Order, are they?"

"Shut up!" he shouts. I stop, my mouth open in a word that I never said. "I need you to know that whatever happens tonight, the wizard in charge has everything planned."

I clench my teeth. He's told me this once before. And it doesn't matter how many times he tells me this, it will not be any clearer. Who is the wizard in charge?

* * *

**We all know what happens to Dumbledore, how do you think Charlotte is going to react?**

**What will happen to her during the battle?**

**Do you think Snape will actually tell her what he's about to do, or do you think he'll try not to so she won't freak out before it happens?**

**Review!**


	69. Chapter 69

**I realize I'm updating this half an hour earlier than I said I would, but I'm tired lol.**

**This chapter is the first of the two I will update today (or the second of Friday, however you look at it). It's my way of saying thanks for reading my story and allowing me to get nominated for the award. I don't think you know how much that means to me.**

**But I would like to ask one favor, right now I have 329 reviews. Could we make that 333 before I post chapter 70. I realize that isn't much time considering I'll update in the morning, but if you could try, I would greatly appreciate it.**

* * *

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, my questions were kinda "meh" but you know…I had to ask something. I was hoping it would get people to review. It's fine that you don't review. It's really not that big of a deal. A lot of people don't review lol. Happy Birthday to you brother! I don't know if I can tell you the pairing I'm thinking about lol. No spoilers! :)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really sorry! I'm updating twice tomorrow (one at midnight, one when I wake up – my time of course lol). So you'll have two chapter! Woot woot! I understand how waiting is difficult. I don't have patience hahaha:)**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for the follow and the review! I'm glad you like my idea:) At least you only have to wait a day for each chapter, you know? I made it a point to get at least fifteen chapters written before I uploaded the story so I _could_ update daily. It's not sad that you want to read the whole thing lol. I can't say anything about Fred at the moment…it's all supposed to be a surprise. What do you mean you feel that something's "going down with Snape and Charlotte"? Christopher is a really important character in her seventh year at Hogwarts – technically her third year – but you know what I mean. I love that kid, he's my favorite of the firsty-years**

* * *

***quick note***

**This is the chapter with the Battle of the Astronomy Tower. I took some things from the movie rather than the book (I don't like to do that often, but I need to). And I had to change a few things to fit Charlotte's perspective (again, really sorry; I don't like to do that either, but I had to).**

**CHAPTER 69**

I've been glowering at Snape for nearly an hour now, but he can't seem to care less. And that bothers me more than it probably should. He seems utterly oblivious to my anger. Then suddenly, he stands to his feet and comes around to where I'm sitting. "Listen to me," he says, urgency filling every syllable, so much in fact that I can't bring myself to interrupt him. "It's happening." He pulls me to my feet.

"It –"

"Hush," he says quickly. "The Death Eaters are here. I must keep up appearances, Charlotte. I trust you know that." He leaves his hands on my shoulders, physically transferring his sense of how vital and important all of this.

"I –"

"Stop talking," he cuts me off fiercely. "I need you to cast the Disillusionment Charm over yourself. Understand?" I nod. "Cast it now." I wave my wand over myself, effectively charming myself into invisibility. "Stay close to me. I need you to trust me."

"I do trust you, professor," I reply.

"And know that the wizard in charge has everything planned out."

"Who is the wizard in charge, sir?"

Before he says anything, his office door flies open. "Severus!" Professor Flitwick calls. "Death Eaters! In the castle! Come quickly!"

Snape glances at where I'm standing before Flitwick is hit by a red light from Snape's wand. The tiny professor falls onto his back, unconscious. "Stay close to me. Do not take off the charm until I specifically say that you can. Speak to no one."

"Yes, professor," I say quietly.

Snape dashes from his office. I follow as closely as I can. Hermione and Luna are both standing outside Snape's office. "Professor Flitwick collapsed," Snape lies to the two of them. "Go take care of him. I need to help fight the Death Eaters." With that, Snape takes off, and I'm left sprinting after him. We make our way through the corridors. Snape says to me, "Use the Shield Charm. There might be some curses flying around that could kill you."

I obey. Snape is heading for the Astronomy Tower. There is such chaos around that I find it hard to differentiate the opposing sides. Members of both Dumbledore's Army and the Order are attacking the Death Eaters. Then I see her: My mother, attacking whomever she can.

There is a dead Death Eater lying on the floor. Some of the Death Eaters, including Bellatrix and Snape, run to the Astronomy Tower, but Snape says quietly to me, "You cannot come. Protect whomever you can."

I stand over to the side. I throw a shield up as someone casts the Killing Curse at Ginny from behind. She doesn't realize, and continues attacking her opponents. There is nothing I can do as Fenrir Greyback runs toward Bill Weasley and dives on top of him. I'm frozen. I've dueled one-on-one, but I have never been in combat like this before. Frantic, I point my wand at the werewolf and cast the Impediment Jinx. The man is thrown off of Bill, but Fred's brother is still severely injured, slashes spreading across his face.

The colors of different spells fly all around me, very few hitting my shield or even coming close to me. McGonagall takes down a Death Eater and moves onto another. Perhaps Snape was right about her being fully capable of protecting herself. But I still want so desperately to help her, and I plan to when I see Tonks being attacked by more than just one wizard. Instead, I run to her aid, forcibly stopping myself from removing the Disillusionment Charm. I don't care what I have to do at this point; I cast the Killing Curse, hitting one of the two men square in the chest. This distracts his partner just long enough for Tonks to fight him off.

From the Astronomy Tower emerge Snape, two Death Eaters that I do not know, my mother, and Draco. "Now, Charlotte!" I hear Snape shout. I take the Disillusionment Charm off of myself. Bellatrix grabs me by the arm and drags me along. I turn around and throw a few shields over my friends.

"Take that!" I hear McGonagall shout. I catch her eye. I see her mouth my name, but she is unable to follow me as my mother drags me through the corridors.

"What's happened?" I ask Bellatrix.

Her grip on me tightens. "Dumbledore is dead!" she rejoices.

"WHAT?" I shout. "Was…was it Draco?"

"No, it was Snape!" she answers.

Snape? How…how could this be? Snape…Dumbledore trusted him. I trusted him. I thought he was loyal to Dumbledore! He's played me for a fool this whole time! HE'S BETRAYED US ALL! How can he do this? Why would he do this? Was I wrong about Lily Potter this whole time?

The Death Eaters exit the castle and run toward Hagrid's cabin. Not Hagrid…not Hagrid…

I turn back around. Harry is following us. "_Stupefy!"_ the boy shouts. That's when I see the Dark Mark in the sky over the Astronomy Tower. It's true. Dumbledore is dead… Bellatrix wasn't lying.

"Run, Draco!" Snape shouts.

Bellatrix's grip on me tightens once again. One of the Death Eaters sets Hagrid's cabin on fire. I don't know why they're attacking him. He's no threat to us. But the spells bounce off of him, so I guess it doesn't matter too much. I turn around to see Harry attacking Snape. My heart rips out of my chest.

Snape deserves to die. That's all there is to it.

"_Cruc –"_

Snape deflects Harry's attack.

"_Cruc –"_

Snape parries the curse again. "No Unforgiveable Curses from you, Potter!" Snape shouts. "You haven't the nerve or the ability –"

"_Incarc –"_

Snape blocks the curse again.

"Fight back!" Harry bellows. "Fight back, you cowardly –"

"Coward, did you call me, Potter?" Snape sneers. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"_Stupe –"_

"Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and you mind closed, Potter!" Snape screams.

"Kill him, Harry!" I find myself shouting.

"Aurelia!" Bellatrix reprimands me. "Snape killed Dumbledore, Snape is loyal to the Dark Lord. I was wrong."

"Now, _come!"_ Snape orders a Death Eater who is lagging behind. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up –"

"Come, Aurelia," Bellatrix instructs me, grabbing me and forcibly Apparating with me.

I open my eyes. I'm in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor. Voldemort is standing in there, waiting. Draco looks at me in horror. "All of you, out!" Voldemort commands. He points at me and my mother. "Except for you two."

My heart stops. Why does he want only me and my mother to stay behind? Draco offers me a look of compassion before he leaves the room. Voldemort glares at Bellatrix. "Why is she," he jabs a finger toward me, "here, Bellatrix?"

"My Lord, I –"

But she doesn't have a chance to finish before he cuts her off. "You could have ruined her whole cover, Bellatrix!"

My mother flinches.

"Why did you bring her here?" he questions.

"My Lord, I…I thought it would be safer for her here. I thought you would want her to be safe," she says quietly.

"Did I tell you to bring her here?"

"No, my Lord, you –"

"I didn't!" he shouts. "And yet you brought her nevertheless. Why is that, Bellatrix?"

She flinches again, every time he says her name. "I thought you wanted her –"

"Such lies, Bellatrix," he hisses, "and from my best lieutenant, no less."

"My Lord –"

Voldemort speaks softer when he says, "Do you not remember what happened the last time your affections for your daughter overshadowed your loyalty to me?"

"My Lord," Bellatrix pleads.

"No, Bellatrix," he says calmly. "It is time for you to prove where your loyalties truly lie." He looks at me, then back at my mother. "You are my most proficient combatant in the art of the Cruciatus Curse. Now you must choose on which of us to display your skill." She pales. "Fear not, dear Bellatrix. No harm shall befall you, no matter which of us you choose."

I look between Voldemort and Bellatrix. My mother raises her wand. My heart stops. This…this is the moment of truth. Does my mother care more about me or her Master?

"_Crucio!"_

Every inch of my body erupts in pain. I have no control over myself, and my body collapses to the floor and flails viciously, trying to escape this excruciating burn. I'm screaming so high-pitched and loud that it feels as if my throat might rip open. Darkness attempts to takeover my vision. I can hardly breathe. "Please!" I manage to shriek.

The pain stops.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Voldemort asks.

"My Lord –"

"I did not give you permission to stop," he says. "Continue."

"_Crucio!"_

The pain shoots back through me, coursing through my veins. My eyes could very well pop out of my head it hurts so badly. Finally, the darkness takes over my vision, and I'm left blind in this torture. "Please!" I manage to screech once again. The pain doesn't stop this time. If anything, it intensifies. My throat feels like it's ripping open again.

What feels like hours later, Voldemort says, "Enough."

The pain stops. Slowly, I open my eyes. The Dark Lord looks down at me. "Send her back to Hogwarts."

I struggle to my knees. Voldemort Disapparates. "Aurelia!" Bellatrix cries. There are actual tears trickling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry! I had no choice!"

"Stay away from me!" I squeal, stumbling away from her, trying to do anything to stop my mother from coming any closer to me. I've been betrayed twice today, and in two bitterly disturbing ways: Snape killed Dumbledore and ruined any chance of me escaping Voldemort, and my mother Cruciated me for nearly seven minutes. I believe I'm lucky to still be sane.

"Aurelia, please!" Bellatrix tries again. "What would you have had me do?" She reaches down and puts her hand on my leg.

"_Impedimenta!"_ I shout. My mother goes flying through the air.

"HEY!" a voice erupts. I turn around. Another Death Eater is entering the room. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Run!" I hear Bellatrix scream.

I Disapparate from Malfoy Manor. I hear one last shriek from her saying, "NO!"

And I think I know why she screamed. A searing pain bursts from my side. I land on a pile of leaves. I'm as close to the Forbidden Forest as I can possible be. I roll over and yell out in pain. There is a knife sticking out of my side. I force myself onto my knees and grab the handle of the knife. I have to get it out. But just touching the handle sends waves of pain through me. I can't do it. I look back up to the castle. The Dark Mark is no longer in the sky. But the castle still gives off an aura of sorrow.

I take a step to the castle and fall down. I shout from the pain in my side. I have to do this. I have no choice. I pull myself to my feet. Just like my will to join the Order being stronger than Dumbledore's will to see my memories, my will to make it to the castle is stronger than the pain in my side.

I put my hand against the nearest tree. If I could take the Cruciatus Curse for seven minutes, I can walk with a knife in my side. The curse was much worse than this. The iron taste of blood floods my mouth. This isn't good. Now I'm coughing up blood.

I take a step and catch myself on the next tree. This isn't going to work. I pick up a stone, point my wand at it, and Transfigure it into a cane. I brace myself on it, and slowly start making my way up to the castle. Each step sends a violent tsunami of pain through my system, but I have to get back to the castle. I have to. There isn't another way.

Perhaps when I get out of the Forbidden Forest, someone will happen to see me and come to help me. But I doubt it. And my fears are confirmed when I step out of the forest and start making my way up the grounds, but not a single soul comes to my aid.

I can't say I blame them. No one wants to do anything at the moment. Dumbledore is dead. He's dead…he can no longer help me escape Voldemort. Voldemort…there's nothing I can do anymore. The headmaster and I both had been wrong. Snape could not be trusted.

Snape should not have been trusted.

Now I'm left with no one to help me. McGonagall will comfort me, sure, but there's no chance of escape anymore. I walk through the entrance hall. I'm so close to the hospital wing now. Well, not close really, but closer than I was.

I push forward. The cane takes most of my weight and helps me deal with the pain. I can transfer all of it into the handle by squeezing as hard as I can.

At last I can see the doors to the hospital wing. There are people still inside. I start moving too quickly and lose my balance. I can't let my excitement take over like that. I have to stay neutral. But I'm so close to having this wretched thing taken out of me. I don't even bother picking up the cane. I struggle to the door and catch myself on the frame. "Madam Pomfrey," I say, my voice coarse and muffled by blood.

"Charlotte!" Tonks says. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are here. Bill is lying on one of the beds, his fiancé crying by his side. Ginny and Ron are nowhere to be seen. Lupin is in here as well.

"Madam Pomfrey," I repeat. I try to take another step but lose my balance again. At this point, I stop altogether, roll onto my back, and clutch my side. "Help." Tonks runs over to me and helps me to my feet and over to a bed.

The nurse matron rushes over. "What happened?" she asks.

"I was stabbed," I say. I don't need to tell the whole story. I don't think Madam Pomfrey needs to know about Bellatrix being my mother. I give Tonks a look, hoping she'll understand. Despite all that is going on, she seems happy. I glance at Lupin, then back to her. She simply smiles, and I have my answer.

"I need to get the knife out," the matron says.

"That's fine," I moan. I flinch when she takes hold of the handle. She tugs on it, but it doesn't come out. I let out a yelp. "What was that?" I shout. "JUST PULL IT OUT!"

Mrs. Weasley's face fills with compassion.

Madam Pomfrey tugs on the blade again, but it still doesn't come out. "BLOODY HELL, WOMAN!" I screech. I take deep breaths.

"Who stabbed you?" she asks.

"I don't know!" I say. "I was in the process of Disapparating, and it just hit me, like someone threw it at me!"

"From where were you Disapparating?" she asks. "Were you not on the Hogwarts grounds or in the castle?"

"No!" I scream. "I was bloody taken by Bellatrix Lestrange! It's such a long story, and it doesn't even matter! JUST GET THE KNIFE OUT OF ME!"

"Was this done by a Death Eater?" she asks.

"Yes," I say through clenched teeth. "Why?"

"When I try to pull it out, it latches onto you," she explains.

My hands fly to my hair. It must be some type of Dark magic…after all, it was done by a Death Eater. "What can be done?" I ask quietly. Tonks, Lupin, and the Weasleys all watch with pale faces. I can't look them in the eye, and though I'm tempted to close my eyes, I don't want to. I would rather see this coming.

She waves her wand at it, but it feels like the blade extends farther into me. My eyes go wide as I scream in agony, pleading for it to stop.

"I have to yank it out," she says quietly, "but it will hurt quite severely."

"JUST WRENCH IT OUT FOR ALL I CARE!" I shriek. "JUST – GET – IT – _OUT!"_

The matron nurse frowns and grabs the handle. This time I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I feel a hand slip through mine. I still don't open my eyes. "One…" Madam Pomfrey says, "two…THREE!"

And she jerks the blade out of me, despite it holding onto my skin and ripping it as well. My hand instinctively squeezes the poor hand of whoever was simply trying to help me. "BLOODY _HELL!" _I scream, a scream that soon blends into sobs. My heads slams backward onto the pillow as my body tries to move away from the pain. Unfortunately, the pain follows me, so moving away is rendered pointless and, frankly, hurts me even more. A cold liquid is poured over what I can only assume is a large hole in my side. I can't bring myself to look at it. The cold – I believe it's a potion – slowly begins to burn and I find myself groaning in pain.

Finally, it all fades, and I open my eyes. I can hardly see anything though. I hadn't even realized I was crying until my blurry vision alerted me to that fact. When the tears go away, I see Mrs. Weasley looking down at me, tears in her own eyes. "Charlotte," she whispers.

I shake my head. I can't speak right now, and I fear that if I try, I will only emit shrieks.

"Drink this," I hear. I look over, and Madam Pomfrey is handing me another potion. I try to reach out and take it, but the simply movement causes far too much pain, and I have to stop. Mrs. Weasley takes the potion and puts it to my lips. I drink it as fast as I can. I smile as best I can at Fred's mum in a silent thank-you.

My eyelids become heavy, and my mind becomes groggy until I lose consciousness.

* * *

**Did you expect Voldemort's reaction? Bellatrix's punishment?**

**How do you think the Golden Trio will respond to her going with the Death Eaters?**

**What about that knife? Who do you think threw it?**

**Review!**

**I only got 3 last chapter...let's try to do better this time lol.**


	70. Chapter 70

**I really appreciate the reviews. I hate asking for a certain amount, but it means so much to me that you, as the readers, help me out and reviews so I can reach that number!**

* * *

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I try so hard to catch people off guard. Chapters like that one make me really happy when everyone says they weren't expecting it. Yeah, the Trio will definitely take some convincing lol, we all know how they are. I'll answer the knife thing in a few chapters, and it'll make more sense:)**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! You're the only one who said that they expected it. Congratulations lol. I try to catch people off guard, but it's interesting when people expect it, too. You're right, there was absolutely nothing else Bellatrix could have done. It's a shame Charlotte doesn't realize that… It's not the same knife, because Bellatrix threw the knife that killed Dobby, and she wouldn't have tried to kill her daughter.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I feel bad for her… It's okay if you didn't review:) It's not like I'm gonna hold it against you or anything lol.**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I like to catch people off guard, so I'm glad it worked! I can see how it would be Lucius, considering how the two of them don't get along all that well, but I'll answer it later:) **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you didn't review. I hope you're alright:) I'm glad I could surprise you! I was the same way with Snape. There was something about him that made me like him, then he killed Dumbledore, and I didn't know what to think. Then the seventh cleared everything it, and I was thrilled lol.**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you weren't expecting it. What faith the Golden Trio had in Charlotte just kind of diminished, all things considered. Hermione might be reasonable if Charlotte can explain it well enough, but Ron and Harry will be upset for a while. That's who they are. How'd you know who the knife came from? I can't answer any questions concerning Fred…sorry. Draco will act differently, but he'll still be there for her and try to help her.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 70**

When I wake up that next morning, everything aches. Apparently when I struggled up to the castle, I used muscles that I have not used in probably years. "Charlotte," a voice floats to me, "are you all right? Do you need something?"

"Water," I croak. I open my eyes to see McGonagall coming back with a glass of water. "Professor?" She doesn't speak. She simply hands me the glass. I quickly drink all of it, my hands trembling fiercely. "What are –"

"I need to know what happened, Charlotte," she says quietly.

"What do you mean?" I reply.

"Tell me what you were doing last night," she answers. "From the moment you left the Slytherin common room to the moment you got back to the hospital wing."

I nod. "I was with the four first-years – you know them. Snape came in and called me to his office. He said…he said it was going to happen tonight – well, last night…"

"What was?"

"I didn't know…he said the Death Eaters were going to…to get into the castle. He kept…he kept telling me that I had to trust him. I had to trust him; he just kept telling me that I had to trust him. Then we left, me under the Disillusionment Charm –"

"Did you see Professor Flitwick?" she interrupts.

"Snape Stunned him," I whisper. Then we headed up to the Astronomy Tower. I stayed out in the corridor. I wasn't allowed to go up. I didn't find out until they came back why I wasn't allowed to go." I meet her gaze. "He…he killed Dumbledore! Snape killed Dumbledore!"

"Where were you in the corridor? Were you still under the charm?"

I nod. "I was…trying my best to protect all of you. Then…they came back…and Bellatrix grabbed me…"

"You didn't know Snape was going to…?"

"Not a clue, I thought…I thought he was with the Order! I thought he was loyal to Dumbledore! Not Voldemort!"

"You knew he was a Death Eater?"

"Yes, but he and Professor Dumbledore both assured me that he was with the Order," I whisper.

"Where did your mother take you?"

"Malfoy Manor."

"YOU'VE LIED TO US THIS WHOLE TIME, HAVEN'T YOU?" a loud voice interrupts us. McGonagall and I both turn to the door. Harry Potter is storming into the hospital wing, flanked by Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. "YOU KNEW SNAPE WAS WORKING WITH VOLDEMORT, DIDN'T YOU?"

"Potter!" McGonagall snaps.

"It's fine, professor," I say. Then I look at Harry. "I knew he was a Death Eater, yes." His face darkens. "If you have something to say, say it."

"I knew we couldn't trust you," he snarls.

"And where did you run off to?" Ron interjects.

McGonagall tries to speak, but I grab her arm to stop her then reply, "You want to know where I 'ran off to'? Okay then, Weasley, I was taken by my mother to Malfoy Manor, only to have the Dark Lord –"

"Only Death Eaters call Voldemort the Dark Lord!" Harry shouts. "You're one of them already, aren't you?"

"HARRY POTTER!" I explode. "I will not have you throw accusations at me!" I struggle to sit up in the bed. "I was taken by Bellatrix to Malfoy Manor, only to have Voldemort question her motives! She had to prove who she cared more about! For seven minutes, I was under the Cruciatus Curse," McGonagall gasps, but I ignore her and continue, my blood boiling. "When Voldemort got tired of watching me squirm, he left. I tried Disapparating, only to have some bloody Death Eater throw a hexed or cursed blade – whichever you want to call it – into my side! I struggled up to the castle with the knife still in me! I collapsed in the hospital wing! Madam Pomfrey had to rip it out, despite it latching onto me whenever she tried!" I swing my legs off the side of the bed and bite back the pain. Then I stand to my feet and put my finger in his face. "So unless you know the full story, dear and precious _Chosen One_, don't assume things." I darken my gaze at him. "Get out."

"Rodgers," McGonagall says softly. She puts her hands on my shoulders and forces me back onto the bed.

Madam Pomfrey comes out of the back. "No visitors this early!" she says. She points to me. "And you should still be lying down!"

McGonagall casts a sad glance at me then ushers the other students out. Madam Pomfrey hands me another potion. I drink it willingly.

* * *

I'm allowed to leave the hospital wing a few days later. The Golden Trio and Ginny visited the hospital wing twice a day for Neville (until he was discharged) and Bill Weasley, but none of them spoke to me. I assume they all hold me to a slight amount of blame for Dumbledore's death.

But I would too if I were them.

Christopher and the others try speaking to me when I get back to the Slytherin common room, but I haven't the heart to speak with anyone. The one person I would want to talk with at a time like this is the one who caused all of my pain.

I had trusted Snape. He knows everything about me. The Dark Lord will soon learn everything about me. He'll know how reluctant I am to serve him.

He'll take me captive.

I curl into a ball on my bed. All is lost.

After sulking for a few short days, it's the day of Dumbledore's funeral. I haven't left the Slytherin Dungeons since my return from the hospital wing. I haven't spoken to anyone either…

I walk with Christopher, Julia, Jacob, and Emma. Tears sting my eyes with each step, but I do my best to ignore them. Ministry officials are in the Great Hall when all of the students arrive. Everyone is subdued. No one really says much. I look down the table at Crabbe and Goyle. It's odd not seeing Draco with them. I look up at the staff table. McGonagall stands to her feet. "It is nearly time," she says. "Please follow your Heads of Houses out into the grounds. Gryffindors, after me."

The Slytherins follow Slughorn out of the Great Hall. I look at the four first-years. "I have to go," I say quietly. They all nod. I walk away and take a seat next to Luna and Neville, close enough to the Golden Trio and Ginny that I can catch them after the funeral. I have to tell them. I have to tell them now.

I sit quietly when the speakers give their last goodbyes to Dumbledore. Tears slip down my cheeks. He's gone. Dumbledore's gone. The one man who could have saved me from Voldemort, and he's gone. And he'll stay that way. There's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing anyone can do about it

The Hogwarts Express is leaving an hour after the ceremony. I have to speak with the Golden Trio before then. I don't intend on riding the train back to King's Cross. I'll have to stay at Malfoy Manor for the holidays, and I'd rather not have an awful anticipation for the whole ride. I'd rather just Apparate there and get it over with.

The merpeople of the Black Lake rise to the surface, and the centaurs come to the edge of the forest. Everyone wants the chance to say goodbye to Dumbledore. Everyone wants to pay their final respects.

Bright, white lights erupt next to Dumbledore's body and the table upon which it lays: Higher and higher they rise, obscuring the body. White smoke spirals in the air and makes strange shapes. I watch the smoke. As it rises higher, I know that it takes with it my escape. And it will never release it. A white tomb is left where Dumbledore's body had been. I have to look away.

The centaurs fire off a round of arrows then move back to the forest. The merpeople sink back below the water's surface.

People slowly begin to get up and walk away. Neville and Luna both leave without a word to me, and I can't help but wonder if they blame me as well, if Harry has told them something. I watch Harry as he speaks to Ginny, and it's easy to see that they're breaking up. Though I'm not overly close to them, I feel bad for them. They were so happy. Maybe one day they'll get back together.

Harry gets up and walks away. I don't think I'll be able to tell Ginny at this point. It might be difficult to have her and Harry in the same room. I'm standing to my feet when Harry is caught by the Minister of Magic.

Sighing, I turn and see McGonagall coming toward me.

Fresh tears spill out of my eyes. "If Hogwarts closes," I say quietly, "where will that leave me…when…"

"You can still find me here," she answers.

"You still want me to come to you?" I whisper. "You don't hate me…because I knew Snape was a Death Eater?"

"Both you and Professor Dumbledore trusted him," she says, hardly audible. "I do not blame you, nor will I ever blame you." Then she's called away by someone else.

I turn around, searching for the Golden Trio. I see them under the beech tree. I head that way. Harry is holding something in his hand. I don't question it. "Harry, Ron, Hermione," I say. They all look over at me. Hate still lingers in Harry's eyes. "I need the three of you to come with me." My lip quivers. "There's something…there's something you need to know." Ron and Hermione both look to Harry, as if waiting for him to make the final decision. He gives me a curt nod, and I turn around.

They follow me into the castle, to one of the spare classrooms. Once they enter, I throw a charm over the door to make sure no one can enter or hear. I look back at them, tears already threatening me. "I need you to understand –"

"You could have saved Dumbledore," Harry says.

"I couldn't have," I reply.

"Why did you trust Snape?" Hermione asks. "You never questioned him. Why did you trust him?"

"I didn't have a choice," I answer. "He…he knew everything about me. I had to trust him."

"You could have saved Dumbledore," Harry repeats.

"Do you think I wanted this, Harry?" I ask. "Do you think I want Dumbledore to be gone?"

"It's hard to know anything with you," Ron says. "_Did_ you want Dumbledore gone? After all, you're in line to be a Death Eater, if you're not one already."

I fix my gaze at him. "I would have given anything to have Dumbledore still be here," I say. "He's the only one who could have saved me."

"You could have saved him," Harry says once again.

"I need Dumbledore here, Harry, more than you think," I state. "Just like I needed to trust Snape."

"Why did you _need_ to trust him?" Harry asks.

"Because he is a Death Eater – he knows what it's like to face Voldemort," I whisper.

"So you let him manipulate you because you're afraid of facing Voldemort?" he questions.

"Yes! And you would be too if –" I stop. It's more difficult to talk about what I have to do than I thought it'd be. "He knows everything about me, Harry! From my reluctance to serve Voldemort to my absolute terror of –"

"Did it ever occur to you that if you became a Death Eater, you could be an advantage to the Order?" Hermione asks.

"Did it ever occur to you that I thought Snape was in that role!" I snap.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Ron shouts. "Dumbledore's dead because you trusted Snape!"

"Dumbledore is dead because you were afraid of becoming a Death Eater!" Harry adds.

"NO!" I scream. "He isn't! Dumbledore is dead _not_ because I fear becoming a Death Eater – believe me, I would choose that course _any day_. No! Dumbledore is dead because I fear having Voldemort's child!"

They all freeze. I squat to the floor so I can smack it as hard as I can. This is not how I envisioned this conversation going. When I push myself upright, I chuck my wand at the wall and grab onto my hair. "What?" Hermione whispers.

I release my hair and look back at her. "I fear having Voldemort's child," I repeat, much quieter this time.

"But...but you said that he wanted you to become a Death Eater," Harry says.

"I know what I said!" I shriek. "I only told you that because I didn't want to say what I have to do!"

"When?" Hermione asks.

I point at Harry. "His birthday," I whisper. "As Voldemort says, 'a fitting day: The day his enemy was born, the day his heir is conceived' or something along those lines."

"Why you?" Harry asks.

"Because of my blood status and my parents," I say.

"And…and that's why…Fred?" Ron asks.

I nod. "That's why Fred hates me. I've known about this since I was ten, and I didn't tell Fred until I found out the day it's supposed to happen," I say.

"An heir?" Hermione asks.

"Yes, or something," I reply. "I don't know why he wants a child. He just does. And I thought Snape was helping me but…"

"Why are you just now telling us this?" Harry asks.

I take a step closer to him and put my hands on his shoulders. "I know that it is impossible for you to destroy Voldemort before you turn seventeen," I say quietly, hoping he realizes what this means for me without me having to say anything. "Dumbledore told me that you only need time before you can become what you need to become in order to destroy Voldemort. I don't know what he was talking about, but I believe you can defeat the Dark Lord." I tighten my grip on him. "But I need you to _know_ that you are able to defeat him."

"I can," he says confidently.

I release him and nod. Then I go over and pick up my wand.

"There's absolutely nothing you can do?" Hermione asks quietly.

"Nothing can stop this," I whisper as I walk to the door. I grab the handle and say without looking at them, "Harry, make sure you kill that bloody bastard."

* * *

I'm standing in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, having just Apparated there. Draco quickly walks over to me and takes me into his arms. "I'm so sorry," he whispers.

"Draco," Narcissa says. We pull apart. "Charlotte, the Dark Lord…he wants a meeting with you."

"But…it's…it's not time," I stammer.

"Not for that," she replies quietly. "Your mother is in there as well."

I'm tempted to retort that I don't have a mother, but I don't want to endanger myself, so I ask, "Where?"

"His private quarters," she answers.

"Where I went last time?"

She nods.

I spin around and make my way to the large room that reminds me of the Slytherin common room. It's the room I was in last time Voldemort and I had a conversation. I stop in front of the grand wooden door and take a deep breath. I can do this. I can do this. That's all I have to tell myself.

I push the door open. Voldemort is sitting in front of a fire. Nagini is coiled up at his feet. Bellatrix is standing behind the other chair. Fury flashes in my heart. Bellatrix…I have no words for the type of scum she is.

"Aurelia," she says.

Voldemort turns his head to look at me. "Charlotte," he says. "Come have a seat."

I slowly walk toward the other chair. "My Lord," I greet him respectfully.

"Dear one," he says, and I find it difficult not to flinch at this, "as much as it pains me to inform you, you are not permitted to remain at Malfoy Manor for the holiday."

"Why, my Lord?" I ask evenly, though my heart is jumping up and down with joy.

He glances at Bellatrix. "You are a distraction to your mother," he replies. "And as she is my greatest supporter, I cannot allow her to be around you. Her distraction is a weakness for the rest of us."

I hear a small noise come from her, but Voldemort and I both ignore it. "Where am I to go?" I ask.

"Severus has generously offered for you stay with him again," he says.

My heart stops. I can't stay with him! He's betrayed me! He killed Dumbledore! "But, my Lord –"

"This is no other option," Voldemort cuts me off.

"My Lord," Bellatrix says from behind me, "she can stay here. I will not allow myself to become distracted again."

"No," he says firmly. Then he looks back at me. "Severus is waiting for you."

"My Lord –"

He throws his hand up to stop Bellatrix's pleas. "There is no other option," he states. "Say your goodbyes now."

I slowly stand and prepare to leave, but Bellatrix grabs me and pulls me into her arms. "I'm so sorry, Aurelia."

"Her name is 'Charlotte,' Bellatrix," Voldemort says. I pull away and look back at the Dark Lord. "I will call upon you when it is time for you to fulfill your duty."

I almost stop breathing. "My Lord," I say as a goodbye. I glare at Bellatrix. Then I spin around and leave the room. I enter the drawing room and grab my trunk and my rucksack.

"Where are you going?" Draco asks me quietly.

"I'm not permitted to stay at the manor. Bellatrix is distracted by me," I answer.

He takes me into his arms again. "Where will you go?"

"I'll be with Snape," I say.

"I'll be here if you need me, Charlotte," he replies. I smile then Disapparate from the manor.

I open my eyes in Spinner's End. I can get my revenge now. I can tell McGonagall that I punished Snape…perhaps the Cruciatus Curse since Harry was unable to use it against him.

Snape is standing in the sitting room. He comes toward me. "Charlotte," he says.

"HOW DARE YOU!" I scream, tossing my bags onto the floor. "YOU KILLED HIM! HE TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU!"

"Charlotte, listen –"

But I don't. I lunge at him.

* * *

**Do you think Charlotte and Bellatrix will ever move past this? I most mean Charlotte, of course.**

**What did you think about her reaction in the hospital wing to the Golden Trio and Ginny?**

**Their conversation about what she has to do?**

**How do you think Snape will act over the holiday?**

**Review!**


	71. Chapter 71

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I loved your review. I legitimately laughed for like half a minute. My family gave me weird looks, but it was totally worth it! I personally think they're a great team too, but I'm a bit biased lol**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I thought that would be the best way to go about their conversation, so I'm glad you liked it! Hahaha, I'm glad I have you on the edge of your seat. That makes me feel that I'm doing something right!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I hate cliffhangers, personally, and I hate writing them. But I had no choice…**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! It's not that Charlotte has anger issues as much as it is that her emotions are right by the surface at all times (she's kind of like Harry in that way), She's touchy about Voldemort or what she has to do. Like, if someone accuses her of supporting him or brings up what she has to do, that's when she loses her temper. Dumbledore had Snape kill him…so, yeah…he might have to knock her out and chain her up again. You never know…**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! Hahaha, I love Scooby Doo! I laughed so hard!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! It's never good to be around an angry Lestrange… I don't think he'd ruin her holiday since he knows what she has to do. I think, if he can calm her down, he'll be nice to her.**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Chapter 66: Well, you reviewed ever chapter separately, so I thought it only right to respond separately :) They do, don't they? I didn't mean for it to come across like that, but when you don't know what's going on in their minds, it's different. I wanted her to have at least Death Eater who didn't think it was an honor.**

**Chapter 67: I don't think she would have stood a chance against Voldemort in the first place. You have the reasons right. She just doesn't care; she thinks she can stop it. I can't say if she does, or how she does if she does… She trusts him, but she doesn't know everything the she needs to know, and that's not good when it comes to Dumbledore.**

**Chapter 68: Well, you've read up to chapter 70, so I think you know now that if he tells her, it will be over the holidays. He intends for her to go to Hogwarts for her safety. The stipulations are explained later. I guess your questions of the battle were answered, so there's no reason for me to re-answer them lol. But you're right: He doesn't want to tell her and risk ruining the plan.**

**Chapter 69: I'm glad you weren't expecting him to take along with him. He wants her back at Hogwarts, and he doesn't want the Death Eaters to know that she is Aurelia Lestrange. So Bellatrix could have ruined both of those. He was mainly worried about the Death Eaters though. Lol, I'm getting attached to her too! I can't say who threw the knife…**

**Chapter 70: Phew! Finally caught up on everything! I figured, with the way Charlotte is, she wouldn't have known how to say it any other way. I can't say what Snape does, but that's answered in this chapter anyway:) Haha, I would be spoiled too, but I can't update seven chapters a day lol! I wish I could!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 71**

I don't know what I'm doing, exactly. All I hear is me screaming obscenities at Snape and him grunting as my fists connect with his face, his arms, his chest, anything that he isn't protecting when I swing blindly. "Stop!" he roars.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" I shriek. I take my fist across his face. His lip begins bleeding, but he doesn't attack back. "HE WAS GOING TO HELP ME! _YOU_ WERE GOING TO HELP ME! YOU'VE BEEN LYING THIS WHOLE TIME!"

"STOP!" he shouts.

"YOU BLOODY COWARD!" I clench my fists and start banging them against his chest. "I TRUSTED YOU!"

Snape grumbles, but doesn't even try to stop me from attacking him.

"Do something!" I cry. "Fight back! Do _something!"_

He still doesn't try to stop me. Well, he doesn't try to stop me until I jab my finger at his eye. Then he moves faster than I thought Severus Snape could move. He jerks his head sideways, grabs my hand, and pins to my side. So naturally, I swing with my free hand, only to have him grab it as well. This time though, he shoves me backward until I'm trapped against the wall. My hands are above my head. "YOU COWARD!" I shriek.

I rear my leg back and try to kick him. Snape throws his leg inward and takes the hit. Then he rams his leg into mine to stop me from being able to move it either. "Stop," he commands.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME TOO?" I scream. "YOU KILLED A MAN WHO COULD HAVE SAVED ME! TAKE ME OUT OF MY MISERY! KILL ME!"

"Shut up," he says.

"Kill me," I say. "Kill me, like you killed Dumbledore, _Severus_," I spit his name like it's a poison in my mouth.

His face drops. I've never disrespected him like that. It doesn't matter how upset I've been with him, I've never disrespected him that badly. "I believe I'm still your professor," he says softly.

"Yes, okay," I snicker. "You're going to waltz right back into Hogwarts, are you?" I throw my head back in exaggerated laughter. "Good luck with that, _Severus!"_

"I'll be back at Hogwarts," he says matter-of-factly. "I'll be headmaster."

"You murdered Dumbledore," I hiss. "You murdered Albus Dumbledore and –"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?" he shouts in my face. I flinch a bit. "You think I don't know what I've done? You think I wanted to do that?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR GREASY HEAD!" I snarl.

"Albus Dumbledore was dying anyway!" he says.

"As am I, so what don't you go ahead and kill me?" I snap.

Snape takes a step away from me. My arms drop to my side. I sink to the floor. "I did not have a choice," Snape says quietly.

I bury my face into my knees. "Now, neither do I," I whisper. Snape walks over and sinks to the floor next to me. "I trusted you."

"As did Professor Dumbledore, which is why he knew that if he asked me to end his life, I would do it," Snape says. "Albus was the closest friend I've had in my adult life. I would never have killed him without reason."

"What reason could you possibly have?" I growl.

"His hand – the one that looked dead – was cursed. The curse was going to kill him in a few months," Snape answers quietly. "He…he asked me to save him from a humiliating death."

"So you killed him? Sent his body over the edge of the Astronomy Tower?" I reply coldly.

"I killed him in battle, the way he needed me to," Snape says, "the way he asked me to. I didn't have a choice." He looks over at me. "You said you trusted me. Is that still true?"

"I don't know," I say.

"Do you have a choice?" he replies.

A wail of torment escapes me. My body begins trembling. Not caring about the consequences, only needing someone to hold me close, I rest my face against his chest and sob. My hands clench his robes. "No!" I cry. "I d-don't h-have-have a ch-choice!"

Snape's arms wrap around me.

And I have to take back everything I've ever said or thought about Snape not being good at comforting people.

* * *

It's been a week, but it feels as if I've been here less than an hour. The days are going by too quickly. My time is running short. I've been bracing myself, or at least trying to brace myself. The thing that hurts the most of all is that the one thing that I so desperately want to remain mine, until I feel right about turning it over, will be taken by force, by Voldemort. And there's nothing anyone can do about.

Snape sets a glass down in front of me. I look up. I had forgotten that I was sitting in the kitchen at Spinner's End, waiting on breakfast that Snape so kindly offered to make. I think he wants to make everything easier until the day I actually go to Voldemort. "What is it?" I ask quietly, wiping my tears of my face. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"Firewhiskey," he answers.

I grab it and put it to my lips. "It's not even noon, professor," I say dully.

"Yeah, well, you seem like you could use it," he replies. He places a plate of fruit in front of me. Next he sets eggs and bacon down. "Enjoy." He takes a seat and begins giving himself servings of the food. After a few minutes of silent eating, he asks, "No rude comment on my cooking skills?"

I look up. "No," I say. "I don't taste much really. My mind doesn't want to register it…"

Snape sighs and pushes his plate aside. "Has anyone ever told you that you are more pleasurable company to be around when you are rude and sarcastic than when you are depressed?"

I smile half-heartedly. Then I finish off my firewhiskey. "But I bet if I got drunk, I would fun to be around." I hold up the empty glass. He smirks. "Do you have anymore?"

"I've been sympathizing with you the best I can," Snape answers, "but I cannot let you become a drunk."

I sigh, "Fine. I guess I'll just go…wallow in self-pity for a while. Thanks for breakfast." I leave the table and go lie down on the sofa. The plates clatter as Snape cleans everything up in the kitchen. I don't pay any attention. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I need to gain control of myself. Two hands grab me by the arms and haul me to me feet. "What are you doing?" I ask irritably.

"I'm not going to let you sit around a sulk," he says.

"So what do you suppose I do?" I reply.

"I don't know – clean the house, sweep the floor, cook some meals," he answers. "Just do _something."_

I huff. I don't want to do anything. Smirking, I ask, "Can I clean that room upstairs that you always keep closed?"

"That's my room, so no," he answers. "But I'm glad the old, annoying Charlotte is coming back."

He goes and sits down in his armchair. "I'm not allowed to lie around, but you are?"

"I'm not sulking; I'm reading," he replies. "I believe the Order is still hunting me."

"Because they don't know what actually happened," I reply.

"And it had better stay that way."

With this one sentence, I hear a command and a regret, but I am not allowed to speak on it, so I don't. Instead, I go up to the same room I stayed in last year. I doubt if Snape will ever figure out that I changed the mattresses.

I sit down on the floor and get out everything I need to write a letter and begin writing.

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_ I am currently staying with Snape. The Dark Lord would not permit me to stay in Malfoy Manor because he finds me too much of a distraction to Bellatrix. But I don't really mind getting away from her. Roughly six months ago, I would enjoy the thought of staying under her protection, but after the Cruciatus incident, I don't trust being in the same room as her, especially when Lord Voldemort is involved._

_ As for me staying with Snape, I don't know what to do. There are protective spells around the place, and I cannot escape. I have tried only once, but no good came from it. In fact, it was rather painful. The two of us don't make contact much. We each stay in our respective ends of the house. When I first arrived, I tried to hit him with the Cruciatus Curse. That did not end well, and I won't go into details, but I have not had my wand since the day I arrived._

_ The days are speeding by, professor. And I find myself more anxious now that ever. I often find myself waking up in nightmares. I know there is not much you can do, considering how far apart we are, but I just wanted to talk to someone. Snape has not said a word to me. I think he is just as disgruntled about this arrangement as I am. But he's the Dark Lord's lapdog, and as such, he will not go against the Voldemort's desires by asking for my removal._

_ Plan for me to arrive on the first of August, or late on the thirty-first of July. I will try to be there as soon as I can. I'm going to need you, professor, but if I will be a nuisance, let me know ahead of time so I can make other arrangements._

_I hope to see you soon,  
Charlotte_

I stare down at the letter. I think it has enough of a bitter tone to it for her to believe that I am truly irritated with being here. I seal the letter and go downstairs. "Do you have an owl?" I ask.

Snape waves his wand. Less than a minute later, a black owl flies down the stairs and lands beside the professor. The owl is obviously young. "I got it after…well, you know," he says. "Her name is Raven."

"Raven the owl?" I ask.

He smirks. "Yes, I thought you might enjoy the name," he answers.

"Why does it matter if I like the name or not?"

"Because I got it for you to use while here over the holidays," he replies. "She's yours. I have no need for an owl."

I take a step closer to it. "Why did you get me an owl?" I whisper.

"Because when I needed someone to speak with, they were always just a few minutes away. Whereas with you, McGonagall – or Tonks or to whomever you're writing – is going to be harder for you to go see, considering the Dark Lord's refusal for you to go anywhere. Besides, you might need Raven one day."

"I don't know what to say," I reply.

"Just say 'thanks' and take the owl," he says.

I do just that and tie the letter to the owl's leg. She flies out of the door, and I watch her until I can see her no more.

"What'd the letter say?" Snape asks me when I sit down.

"Well, I complained a lot about having to stay here with you," I reply.

"She's going to begin a one-person manhunt for you, you know that, right?" Snape says.

"She won't find me," I say quietly.

"That's true, but you know she'll try either way," Snape answers.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I comment.

Snape sets his copy of the _Daily Prophet_ aside. "You know you can't tell her, about anything," he says sternly.

"I know that," I reply, slightly offended. He should know by now that I understand when to keep things back and when to say them.

He picks up the paper again.

"Are you sure you're out of firewhiskey?" I ask him.

He sighs. "In the kitchen cabinet," he says. "You can find it."

After roughly thirty minutes of searching, I find a bottle and take it with me back to my borrowed room. I take off the top of the bottle then remove the silver amulet from my neck. I haven't been able to bring myself to look at it since Dumbledore's death. I set it onto my bed and wave my wand at it. The chess board appears.

Harry's pawn has not moved. But it's not Harry that I wanted to see. It's Dumbledore's queen, the one who had been protecting Harry for so many years. The white queen is smashed into two pieces, lying helplessly on the silver board. The other queen has filled Dumbledore's space. In front of Harry's new protector are the remains of a black bishop. I leave the black piece where it is, but I gingerly pick up the piece that had represented Dumbledore.

I open my trunk and pull out a wooden box. I take the top off and place the two halves of Dumbledore into it, beside the ring given to me by my mother and the coin from Dumbledore's Army. That's when I see it. I never opened it. I had wanted to keep it the way it had been when I received it. I lean against the bed frame and pick up the letter from Fred that Lee Jordan had delivered to me when Fred and George escaped from Umbridge last year.

Sighing, I put it back into the box. After everything, I don't want to open it. I want something of Fred to remain intact. Besides, I'm sure that anything he said then does not apply to me now. I don't want to dig up old pains. I push the letter to the bottom of the pile. Most of these letters are from Fred, but there are a few that are not. I grab those few.

These are the letters that I wrote to no particular person when I started my first term at Hogwarts, or rather waited on my first term to begin. To illustrate just how terrible my luck is, it was Snape who had received the letters. He only returned one, and that was to tell me to stop sending letters with the school owls. I pick them all up and place them on my bed. I close the wooden box again and hide it at the bottom of my trunk.

Waving my wand at the chess board, I change it back into an amulet and slip it over my neck. Then I pick up the letters again and go back downstairs. "Look what I found!" I say. I toss them onto his lap. "You were right! Cleaning did make things easier!"

He picks up the letters and reads through them, smirking. "You were really annoying," he says.

"Are you implying that I'm no longer annoying?" I ask.

"I'm implying that you are not _as_ annoying," he replies. He hands the letters back to me.

"Well, that's good, because I thought I was going to have to step up my game a bit and become more annoying. I can't lose all of my annoyingness. It's who I am," I say.

"Never fear," Snape says. "You'll never lose that ability."

I cover my heart. "Thank you, professor. That's so touching."

"So now we're back to calling me 'professor'? Whatever happened to your rude and obnoxious '_Severus'_?" he says.

"Well, if you'd prefer me calling you –"

"Don't," he cuts me off.

I sit down on the sofa. "Okay then," I reply. "I'd hate to be _annoying_."

"Don't you have another room you can go clean?"

I quickly stand to my feet. "Right you are, _Severus!"_

"Stop," he commands.

"Fine, professor!" I say. "I'm off to clean another room!" I start to leave.

"I have put charms on my door," he calls to me. "If you so much as turn the handle to get into my room, I will know."

"I'll keep that in mind," I call back.

I go back to my room, remove the amulet once again, and change it into the chess board. I stare intently at the other queen, the one who so valiantly has taken up Dumbledore's place. None of the other pieces move anymore. I think that ended with Dumbledore's death. Who could the other queen be? I reach toward it and try to pull it up, but it won't budge. Then, a needle emerges from the top of it. I take the needle out of it and hold it in my palm.

A piece of parchment unravels from inside the needle. The needle disappears. I unroll the letter.

_Charlotte,_

_ I know you do not believe that Professor Snape can help you, and after what he is to do, you will find it difficult to trust him at all. But you must know that I have commissioned him to take my life. It is the only way Lord Voldemort will trust him completely. I have asked him to take pity on me, for I am dying of a curse. You must know that Professor Snape will help you through your duty to Voldemort. Professor Snape is the other queen on the board, the one you asked me about. I am sorry, but I cannot help you any farther down this journey._

_Professor Dumbledore_

I stare at the short paragraph . I refuse to show this to Snape. He'll burn it. And part of me wants to keep this. I reach down toward the queen. This time, the piece comes off the board. It must have been a charm the headmaster put on it.

Things make more sense now. Snape had once been the pawn in Voldemort's scheme. Now he's a queen on Dumbledore's side. He's protecting Harry. But how is he going to do that if everyone thinks he is a murderer? I take a good look at the queen and put it back in its spot. Snape has a long road ahead of him. And I just hope I can help him as much as he plans on helping me.

* * *

**Do you think she should take things more seriously, or is it good for her to try to lighten the mood with jokes?**

**What did you think about their short-lived shouting match?**

**Should she be lying to McGonagall like that?**

**What about the owl?**

**Review!**


	72. Chapter 72

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, the owl becomes important later. I can't say how much later of course…but she's important. I'm thinking about having her enter and find something to do with Lily and that leading to her telling him that she's known that whole situation, but I'm not sure if that's how it's going to happen. I'm still in the planning stage of that.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the name. Charlotte would have liked the sheer irony of it, which is why I named the owl Raven lol. I'm also glad you liked the shouting match. I try so hard to please the readers:)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I never get tired of writing their bickering, so I'm glad you enjoy reading it. It's not too weird for you to think of them as an old married couple; I try to make their relationship like siblings and old couples who have nothing better to do than argue lol. I've thought about that too…but I don't think I'd want to know what everyone's chess piece is. I think it would unnerve me a bit for some reason :)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked all of that:) I like to please the readers (not all the time of course, just in some things). I don't want her lying around, going nuts either. I figured it'd be best to let her write a letter to McGonagall. **

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I love Snape too! He's intended to be a lot to her: A father figure, a mentor, a friend, a helper, a guide, a sibling (when it comes to their bickering). She looks up to him in ways that she can't look up to anyone else. In short, yeah he's a father figure of sorts, but that's not all he is.**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed the shouting match and the owl's name:). Haha, I think it'd be funny if she got in his room. Maybe it'll happen. I'm debating it. The chess board was charmed to show what happened right after Dumbledore's death (Snape taking his place), but now that Dumbledore's dead, the chess board won't do much now that he's dead. I'll explain it more in detail later. And thanks! It makes me feel really good when people tell me my writing is awesome:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! It was her last chance, so she had to tell the Golden Trio. If not, she would never have been able to tell them. She puts a lot of faith in Snape, which is why I had him tell her the truth. He realized that if he didn't tell her, she would probably never recover. Why do you think it probably won't be the same? My whole point of the owl was so Charlotte could see that he does care and that he does want this to be as easy for her as possible.**

**honking toad: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 72**

"What do you mean you're not going?" I ask Snape. We're in the sitting room, and he's being overly frustrating. He expects me to Apparate to Malfoy Manor by myself. Apparently there is some important Death Eater meeting thing, and Voldemort wants me there. He wants to introduce me to the rest of his creepy disciples so they know not to harm me in the coming year.

"There are things I have to do," Snape answers.

"Like what?" I retort. "What could possibly be so important that you'll send me in there alone?"

"You won't be alone," he replies. "Your aunt and uncle and cousin as well as your mother and father –"

"A father who thinks I'm dead!" I shout.

"Nevertheless, there will be people around who do not want to see you come to any harm," he continues.

"'People who do not want to see me come to any harm'?" I laugh. "Have I not told you about the Cruciatus incident, professor?"

He sighs. I've brought this up so many times in the past hour as we argue over me going to the manor without him that I'm sure he could quote everything I'm about to say. Instead, he counters with, "When the Dark Lord unveils you as the young witch who shall have his child, I do not think he will allow anyone to harm you. That would set a bad precedent. You're perfectly safe."

"But I'll still be going there without you! You're the only Death Eater I know I can trust! I can't be left in a room with them without you being there to calm them down! You're high-ranking by Death Eater terms!" I reply. "They'll listen to you if Voldemort isn't there to stop them!"

"And as much as I hate the thought of sending you in there, I have no choice," he states. "I'll be there later. You have to trust me."

I huff at him.

He looks at the clock over the fireplace. "Now, if you're through with your grievances, I believe it's time for you to go," he says. "I will meet you over there." He walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders to look me directly in the face. "Just don't do anything stupid. Act normal, and nothing will happen to you."

"Can you be sure about that?"

He pauses for a second. "Yes."

I nod and Apparate to Malfoy Manor.

Bellatrix is waiting for me in the kitchen, where I was informed I should go, and she immediately rushes over to me. "Aurelia," she whispers.

But as she tries to take me into her arms, I hiss, "Don't touch me."

Her face drops. "I had no choice! You must understand that!"

"It burns, doesn't it, mother, to not have a choice?" I reply.

She looks away from me. "Come with me. The Dark Lord is waiting," her voice is quiet. My mother leads me through the manor in silence. I think I've finally made a point to her that I'm through with her. She shouldn't have chosen Voldemort over me. I could have claimed her as my mother. I would have been partially proud to claim her as my mother, but Voldemort has his hooks in her too deep for that. "No one can know who you are," she says when we reach the door leading into the drawing room.

"I don't think I would want them to know I'm your daughter," I say bitterly.

I can tell I've just stung her, but I don't care. She pushes the door open. There is a large table, Death Eaters sitting all around it. Voldemort is at the head of it. There is a woman suspended in the air, looking as if she is attached to a rope.

"Charlotte," Voldemort's icy voice floats through the room. "Come."

I walk over to him while my mother goes and takes a seat beside Narcissa. I immediately feel the pressure of all of the eyes of each person in the room. I lock my gaze on Draco's, whose is the only one I can bear to look into. "For those of you who do not know," the Dark Lord begins, "we are graced by the presence of a young witch who will help me maintain my reign over the wizarding world. This is Charlotte Rodgers." I can't help but notice the frustrated movement of a man sitting across from Draco. I look at him, and his gaze at me shows nothing but hate. "She will give me an heir." I feel the heat flush to my face. This is awful…and embarrassing…and just dreadful altogether. "And as such, she will be treated with high regards. She is to remain safe." Voldemort looks up at me. "Take a seat next to Bellatrix."

"Y-yes, my Lord," I say with a slight bow. Then I go to sit beside my mother, who does not even acknowledge me as I sit down. I immediately avert my gaze to my lap. I know that there are still many people staring at me.

"Young Miss Rodgers will be attending Hogwarts in the coming year," he pauses for a split-second and adds with a mocking tone, "now that Dumbledore is dead." The others snigger. "Amycus, Alecto, she is to be respected while there."

Two people at the end of the table quickly say, "Yes, my Lord."

I try to get Draco's attention, but he seems more interested in glancing up at the woman hanging in the air. He can't seem to be able to stop looking.

Not being able to silently communicate with Draco, I resign to staring at my lap. That is, until I hear Voldemort say, "Yaxley, Snape, you are very nearly late." My eyes dart upward. Snape doesn't look at me; he's looking at the Dark Lord, which I can't say I blame him for. He has to make it seem that he's an obedient follower. "Severus, here," Voldemort motions to a chair directly right of him. "Yaxley – beside Dolohov." Once they've both taken their seats, Voldemort looks to Snape. "So?"

"My Lord, the Order of the Phoenix intends to move Harry Potter from his current place of safety on Saturday next, at nightfall."

The Death Eaters fidget and murmur, but Voldemort pays them no attention. He's staring into Snape's black eyes, no doubt applying Legilimency. "Saturday…at nightfall," the Dark Lord repeats. "Good. Very good. And this information comes –"

"– from the source we discussed," Snape says. He's never told me that he has a "source." I find myself slightly offended at him for keeping information from me. Then again, he's kept the whole loving-Lily-even-though-she-hates-him-and-is-dead thing from me. So I guess I shouldn't be too upset about this.

The man named Yaxley leans forward. "My Lord, I have heard differently." When Voldemort does not speak, the man continues, "Dawlish, the Auror, let slip that Potter will not be moved until the thirtieth, the night before the boy turns seventeen."

Snape smiles. "My source told me that there are plans to lay a false trail; this must be it. No doubt a Confundus Charm has been placed upon Dawlish. It would not be the first time; he is known to be susceptible."

Why is Snape telling Voldemort how to find Harry? Why would he want the boy to be caught? How could he betray Lily like this? Am I wrong about him loving Lily? Sure, he's loyal to Order and all, but have I been wrong? I can't very well ask him. That would be far too dangerous, but I need to know. Why is he willingly giving information to the Dark Lord, information that could possibly lead to the death of Lily's son?

I know I've missed something when I see Voldemort throw a hand up to stop Yaxley from talking. He looks to Snape. "Where are they going to hide the boy next?"

"At the home of one of the Order," Snape answers. Why is he doing this? "The place, according to my source, has been given every protection that the Order and Ministry together could provide. I think that there is little chance of taking him once he is there, my Lord, unless, of course, the Ministry has fallen before next Saturday, which might give us the opportunity to discover and undo enough of the enchantments to break through the rest."

Voldemort turns to the Yaxley man. I try my hardest to get Snape to look at me, but he won't. It's like he knows what I'm going to ask, and he refuses to answer. I don't understand why he's giving all of this information so easily. I thought he'd at least lie. But what if he is lying? What if I'm jumping to conclusions too quickly? Perhaps all of this is just a lie…yes, that must be it.

Again, I try to look at Draco, but my cousin will not give me the time of day. Why is everyone being so aloof toward me? I follow Draco's gaze and look up at the woman in the air. Who is she? Why does Draco seem so bothered by this? Why does she look familiar? I don't understand…

I try to catch my mother's eyes, but she's looking down at Yaxley, as is everyone else, except for the man who seems to hate me for some unknown reason. He keeps glancing at me. It unnerves me a bit, honestly. I mean, I'm used to people hating me, but it usually takes me speaking with them at least once before they develop those feelings.

"I shall attend to the boy in person," Voldemort says. This brings me back to the present circumstance. The Dark Lord is looking up at the revolving woman. "There have been too many mistakes where Harry Potter is concerned. Some of them have been my own. That Potter lives is due more to my errors than his triumphs."

I have to look away from him. His snake-like face can only be looked upon by me for a limited amount of time. "I have been careless," he continues, "and so have been thwarted by luck and chance, those wreckers of all but the best-laid plans. But I know better now. I understand those things that I did not understand before. I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I shall be."

A loud wail of misery comes from beneath our feet. There is some poor bloke in the Malfoy dungeon, no doubt. That's where I was thrown when I got caught. "Wormtail," Voldemort says, "have I not spoken to you about keeping our prisoner quiet?" With that, the little man get up and dashes from the room, taking with him an odd silver gleam.

"As I was saying," the man in charge continues, "I understand better now. I shall need, for instance, to borrow a wand from one of you before I go to kill Potter."

Everyone freezes. I can't help but look away. I can't give up _my_ wand. I need it to escape…well, never mind. That plan is out by now. I have to face him no matter what. Can someone still use Occlumency when wandless? I don't want to risk it, so I still keep my eyes down.

"No volunteers?" Voldemort asks. "Let's see…Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wand anymore."

I look at my uncle. He looks sickly, his skin as yellow as Draco's had been during the school year. His eyes are sunken and shadowed as well, just like his son's. "My Lord?" his voice his hoarse.

"Your wand, Lucius. I require your wand."

"I…" my uncle looks into his wife's eyes for a moment before taking his wand out of his robes and handing it down the table to the Dark Lord.

"What is it?"

"Elm, my Lord," Malfoy answers quietly.

"And the core?"

"Dragon – dragon heartstring."

I can't watch this. I just can't.

"Give you my wand, Lucius? _My _wand?"

There is some sniggering from around the table. I don't look up, but I must have missed something else…

"I have given you your liberty, Lucius, is that not enough for you? But I have noticed that you and your family seem less than happy of late… What is it about my presence in your home that displeases you, Lucius?"

"Nothing – nothing, my Lord!"

"Such _lies,_ Lucius."

There is a hissing coming from beneath the table. Nagini is sliding close to Voldemort. She climbs up his chair and rests on his shoulders. I suppress a shudder. This is the only snake that I seem unable to be around, and I don't know why.

Voldemort strokes her lovingly. "Why do the Malfoys look so unhappy with their lot? Is my return, my rise to power, not the very thing the professed to desire for so many years?"

"Of course, my Lord," Malfoy quickly answers. "We did desire it – we do."

Narcissa tenses, and Draco glances at Voldemort but quickly looks away.

"My Lord," my mother says. I feel myself tense when she speaks. "It is an honor to have you here, in our family's house. There can be no higher pleasure." She leans closer to him, and therefore closer to me. I don't understand her sick desire to be so close to him.

"No higher pleasure," the Dark Lord repeats. "That means a great deal, Bellatrix, from you."

I almost gag when she flushes and has tears of joy springing up in her eyes. "My Lord knows I speak nothing but the truth!"

"No higher pleasure…even compared with the happy event that, I hear, has taken place in your family this week?"

"I don't know what you mean, my Lord," she replies.

"I'm talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud."

There is a lot of jeering laughter from the Death Eaters, but my smile is legitimate. I haven't heard about Tonks and Lupin. I couldn't be happier for them. I'll have to write them somehow.

"She is no niece of ours, my Lord," Bellatrix calls over the laughter. "We – Narcissa and I – have never set eyes on our sister since she married the Mudblood. This brat has nothing to do with either of us, nor the beast she marries."

Anger boils in me. How dare she speak of Tonks like that!

"What say you, Draco?" Voldemort taunts. "Will you babysit the cubs?"

The laughter increases, but I cannot bring myself to join in. Those are my friends he's mocking. I glance at Snape, who is smirking for appearances; at least I hope it's just for appearances. He meets my eyes, and I can tell that he's silently commanding me to calm down.

"Enough," Voldemort commands, stroking an angry Nagini. "Enough." Silence comes immediately.

"Many of our oldest family trees become a little diseased over time," he says to Bellatrix. "You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy? Cut away those parts that threaten the health of the rest."

"Yes, my Lord!" she whispers with gratitude. "At the first chance!"

I clench my fists together, and Snape again gives me a warning glance. I stare into his black eyes and picture myself entering a tunnel. It's the only way to bring myself out of this place, to ignore what's being said about Tonks and Lupin. I have to find a way to warn them.

"Do you recognize our guest, Severus?" Voldemort asks.

My escape is taken away when Snape looks up at the revolving prisoner. "Severus! Help me!" the woman cries.

"Ah, yes," Snape answers.

"And you, Draco?" the Dark Lord asks. "But you would not have taken her classes. For those of you who do not know, we are joined here tonight by Charity Burbage who, until quite recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

That's why she looked so familiar. I've spoken to her. It was short, and it was only once. And it wasn't memorable, but she was nice. She doesn't deserve this. My breathing becomes ragged. My hand grabs tightly onto my knee. "Severus…please…please…"

"Silence," Voldemort says. The woman falls silent with a flick of Voldemort's borrowed wand. I try to meet Snape's eyes, but he's intently watching his colleague. How can he just sit there? He knows this woman! "Not content with corrupting and polluting the minds of Wizarding children, last week Professor Burbage wrote an impassioned defense of Mudbloods in the _Daily Prophet_. Wizards, she says, must accept these thieves of their knowledge and magic. The dwindling of the purebloods is, says Professor Burbage, a most desirable circumstance… She would have us all mate with Muggles…or, no doubt, werewolves…"

No one laughs this time, probably due to the hate and contempt that fills his voice. Tears spill out of the poor woman's eyes and into her hair. She looks at Snape again. A hand wraps itself around mine. I look over at my mother, whose eyes tell me that she knows I'm panicking. I flip my hand over and interlock my fingers with hers.

"_Avada Kedavra."_

Green light illuminates the room. Then the woman falls to the table. Several people leap backward. Draco falls out of his seat. My hand tightens on that of Bellatrix.

"Dinner, Nagini," Voldemort says softly. The snake slithers onto the polished wood, going for the dead woman. My hold on Bellatrix intensifies, but she doesn't seem to mind. She returns my strong grip. I close my eyes.

* * *

**Do you think this whole thing has taken away some of her faith in Snape?**

**Who do you think the man is that seems to hate her?**

**Do you think her relationship with Bellatrix will mend?**

**Review!**


	73. Chapter 73

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! You find out who the man is in this chapter, so I can't say whether you're right or not. I hadn't thought about it, but you're right. Her relationship with her mother typically intensifies after a disagreement.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I think she lost a bit of faith in him, but after Dumbledore's note to her, I think she can see past almost anything Snape does now. Rodolphus never knew that it was Aurelia who was to have Voldemort's child. That was a secret to all but Lucius and Narcissa. Rodolphus is probably bitter considering that this new girl is his daughter's age and all. You find out in this chapter if it was actually him or not though. She and Bellatrix might fix their problems, but you're right about Charlotte seeing McGonagall as her true mother. :)**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say if it's her father or not. That's answered in this chapter:) Her father's name is Rodolphus, by the way. Thanks for letting me know. I hope you can get an account!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Hahaha! Yep, that's exactly what happened before Snape got there:)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't leave along review! I can't say if it has something to do with Mrs. Stoico or not (I'm assuming that's what you meant by the day care lady). Keep reading!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I thought that part of the book was gross too…**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Well, Charlotte did get that letter from Dumbledore, so it's not like she's trusting him blindly, but it might not be the same. You find out in this chapter if it was her father or not. Charlotte and Bellatrix typically fix their problems (well, recently they have), so they might fix this as well, but it won't be what it could have been. The holidays were good for them, but the Cruciatus Curse messed that up.**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! She might lose faith, but after Dumbledore's note to her, I think she can get over most of what Snape does since she knows that he's loyal to the Order and all. No one but Lucius and Narcissa knew what Aurelia had to do, but he might not like the fact that there is a girl her age doing this for Voldemort. You find out in this chapter if it was Rodolphus or not. She and Bellatrix might become civil again, but McGonagall will always be her real mother, at least in her mind.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! LOL, I thought the same thing when I read it in the book!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Chapter 72 – I don't know why Fanfiction wouldn't alert you, but the website does glitch every now and then. I wanted to make her conversation with Snape as real as possible. Chapter 73 – I don't think she'll stop trusting him either. They've been through too much, and Dumbledore left her the note to reassure her. You find out who it is in this chapter :). She and Bellatrix have a long road ahead of them. That's all I can say about that lol.**

**Shelia: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're impressed. That makes it easier to keep writing! I can't say who the man is who hates her. That's answered in this chapter :)**

* * *

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (59) The lies she tells typically stick lol. She's a rather talented liar hahaha. (60) Christopher is a sweetheart. Bellatrix wants to have some sort of relationship with Charlotte. (61) The holidays are definitely going to be odd… (62) I'm kinda mad at Fred too. She and Bellatrix are trying the best they can (63) Bellatrix cares about Charlotte, so she'll help her the best she can. (64) I think it's only right that she accept what is to happen. (65) I don't think he'll tell her either. It could jeopardize the mission. (66) I hope she has another chance with him, but I don't know if it will work… (67) We'll just have to wait and see if she gets a chance to escape to speak with McGonagall. (68) It would not be good for him to tell her because she might freak out and mess up the whole thing lol. (69) Wait until that question is answered. I don't think you'll be disappointed when you find out who threw the knife. (71) As normal as Snape can of course haha**

* * *

**CHAPTER 73**

Only after Nagini has finished feeding does Voldemort say, "You are free to leave." But no one moves. Slowly, the Dark Lord stands and leaves the drawing room. Then the Malfoys stand and all leave through another door. Bellatrix releases my hand. Snape meets my eyes. I can't understand what he's trying to relay to me, but I don't think we're going to be able to go back to Spinner's End just yet.

A few of the Death Eaters Disapparate. Some of them do not. Snape stands, as does Amycus and Alecto. The black-eyed professor motions me over to them. I obey as quickly as possible. "Rodgers," he says, "these will be two of the professors at Hogwarts this coming year." I look both of them in the eye but don't say anything. "Amycus Carrow will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, and his sister Alecto will take over Muggle studies. The position has just opened up." The woman smirks.

They both offer me their hands, and I willingly shake them. "Can't wait for your classes," I say, keeping the sarcasm out of my voice.

"The Dark Lord has asked us to make you as comfortable as possible while at Hogwarts," Amycus says. "I hope you will find everything to your liking."

I smile. "I'm sure I will." They Disapparate. I look to Snape. "It's going to be a long year," I mutter.

"That it is," he replies. "But we'll get through it."

"One can only hope," I whisper, but before I can say anything else, another man walks up to us; he is the man who had been glaring at me. When up close, it's easy to see that he is not well-kept, almost like he's ill.

His eyes sweep over me. "Charlotte Rodgers," he says. I offer my hand, but he doesn't take it. He shifts from one foot to the other. "It's really you."

"Yes, Avery," Snape says. "It's really her." Avery? This can't be _the_ Avery. It just can't. And is that a protective tone I hear in Snape's voice?

"Snape," Avery greets him. Then he looks back to me. "You're not at all what I pictured."

"Excuse me?" I ask. "I don't believe I know you."

He smirks. "You're right. We've never met."

"Snape," a man says from behind us.

The professor turns around, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "Mulciber," Snape replies.

"I hear you're going to be the next Hogwarts headmaster," the man says.

I look back to Avery. "How do you know me?"

"All the Death Eaters know who will be the Dark Lord's –" he twitches his head and stops talking.

Before I can even register what's going on, the man has grabbed me. I shout, "SNAPE!" as Avery forcibly Disapparates with me. I don't have a chance to gain my bearings, for I am slammed through a glass table. I crawl away from the shards, whimpering. I'm pierced in many places. I reach up and touch my face. A piece of glass sticks out of my cheek. I try to struggle to my feet, but when I'm on my hands and knees, Avery's boot hits me in the stomach. I double over.

"You killed my father," he growls.

"He killed your sister!" I snarl.

"I had no sister! I lost her when she turned her back on the Dark Lord!" he shouts.

I smirk at him. "And what do you think you're doing now? Do you not think that this is turning your back on him? He specifically demanded my safety!" I shriek.

"_Impedimenta!"_

I'm thrown against the wall. Shards of glass plunge deeper into my skin, and I let out a yelp.

"Don't try using that against me!" he roars. "Don't act like you _want_ to serve him! I saw your face in that meeting!" I reach for my wand. "I wouldn't do that, if I were you." His voice carries a chill.

"You expect me not to try to defend myself?" I ask.

"I just don't think it will do you any good," he laughs. "This time, you won't be able to find help. I should have known better than to throw that cursed knife at you. I should have known you would go running back to Hogwarts. Pomfrey fixed you up real nice, didn't she? I bet there's a scar left though, isn't there? Dark magic leaves its mark." He smiles. "But I won't be making the mistake of letting you escape again. _Crucio!"_

I collapse to my back, screaming in agony. But this isn't as bad as Bellatrix's Cruciatus Curse had been. I guess he's not as proficient as she is. The pain stops. I try to stand, but Avery again says, "I wouldn't."

I open my eyes at him. "What do you think will happen when the Dark Lord learns of what you've done?" I cough. "Do you think he's just going to forget about it?" I subtly reach for my wand.

"You won't remember this," he replies. He raises his wand at me, but I silently hit him with the Impediment Jinx. While I push to my feet, I expel his wand.

This is how we're standing when Bellatrix and the Dark Lord both appear in the room. Avery is on the floor, wandless, and I'm pointing my wand at him, glass poking out of me in random areas. "Au –"

"Charlotte," Voldemort quickly cuts my mother off, effectively stopping her from saying my real name. The Dark Lord turns to Avery. "I am disappointed." Without looking away from his fallen Death Eater, he says, "Bellatrix, take her back to the manor. Tend to her wounds."

My mother rushes over to me. I gasp when she grabs me, more glass having dug its way into my skin. "Shhh," she coos. "You're going to be all right." I don't resist when she Disapparates us from the place.

We're in Bellatrix's room, the one I used to get back to Hogwarts after the holidays. Bellatrix leads me to a chair and has me sit down. "You're going to be fine."

"Is that so?" I whisper.

"Of course." She pulls out her wand, and despite everything she's done to me in the past, I close my eyes, something I once would never have dreamed of doing when she has her wand out. I can't understand what she's saying, but the pain is lessening. It's almost like a song, but I know it's not. Then her hands clasp my face. I have to look at her. There is pain in her eyes. "I…I had no choice, Aurelia. I had no choice."

I nod.

She waves her wand, and two cups fly towards us. She hands me one. "Firewhiskey." We both drink it down. She Disapparates us from her room, back to the drawing room.

Snape comes over to me. "What happened?" he asks quietly.

Bellatrix doesn't try to stop us from speaking. "Avery…wasn't happy with me…about Mrs. Stoico," I say.

Realization lights in his eyes. "Where is he now?"

"With the Dark Lord," I reply.

As if on cue, Avery and the Dark Lord Apparate into the room. Voldemort is not happy. He holds Avery's wand in his hand. "Rodolphus, Rabastan," he calls. "Put him with the other prisoner. We'll deal with him later."

I watch as Rodolphus and Rabastan walk past me to grab Avery. I don't know which one is Rodolphus, but I drink in both of their faces. They both have the same blue eyes as me. They must be brothers, if it's true that I get my blue eyes from their family, as I do according to Bellatrix. Neither of them pays me much attention as they carry out the Dark Lord's command. I watch them until they disappear from the room.

"I trust Bellatrix helped you," Voldemort says to me.

"Yes, my Lord," I reply.

He looks at Snape. "Severus, take her away now."

"Yes, my Lord."

I give Bellatrix one last glance, making sure to grin at her, before Snape Disapparates with me.

We're back in the sitting room of Spinner's End. The first thing I say to him is, "Which one was Rodolphus?"

It takes him a second to register what I mean before he says, "The one on the left."

I think back. He was the one with a well-trimmed beard. His stare had been blank. I don't know what that could mean. His hair was dark and pulled back in a low, loose ponytail. I meet Snape's eyes, and my thoughts change completely. "You said I would be safe," I whisper.

"I thought you would be," he answers softly.

"He could have killed me," I reply. "He _wanted_ to kill me."

Snape looks away. "You're right. I shouldn't have turned my back on the two of you. I didn't know anyone knew how his father died –"

"Which begs the question of how he knows," I say.

"And if he knows, someone else must know," he continues. "He's unlikely to have discovered this for himself."

"Which means there are more people who know about that than we thought…"

"It's not all bad," he says.

"How so?" I reply dryly.

"After what just happened – or rather what will happen – to Avery, others will fear attacking you. Not only will they fear the Dark Lord, but if they know how you bru – killed a man when you were ten, it might deter any future assailants."

My hand moves to my cheek. I don't feel anything. "Is…is there something here…on my face?" I ask quietly. Snape gives me an odd look. "I…he threw me through a glass table…some of it lodged into me."

"I see nothing there," he replies.

I look at my arms. I don't see any markings of what happened on them either. I'll have to thank my mother the next time I see her.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about him trying anything like that again," Snape says.

"What makes you think that?"

"The Dark Lord's punishments are never an easy thing to go through," he states.

"I can only imagine…" I meet his eyes. "Did…did you hear me…when I called for help?"

He nods. "I was about to Apparate to where I believed he would take you – I figured it would be his house. But the Dark Lord appeared with Bellatrix, asked who had taken you, then Disapparated."

"How…how did he know?"

"I believe it was the snake," Snape answers, "Nagini."

I shudder. "What is it about her, professor?"

"I don't know." We're silent for a few moments. "The Carrow twins," he says, "don't trust them."

"Why not?" I ask quietly.

"They're wicked, and I fear that this year at Hogwarts is going to be a rough one. They have both been appointed as Deputy Headmasters."

"So they'll be taking over discipline?" I reply.

"Yes," he answers gravely. "And they enjoy the torture techniques to get order."

"This is definitely going to be a long year then."

* * *

The next morning, I wake up to a tapping on the window of my borrowed room. I open my eyes to see Raven the owl trying to get inside. I quickly open the glass and let her in. She flutters around the room before dropping the letter onto the bed and perching on the headboard. I wave my wand and attempt to summon some crackers from the kitchen.

I sit down on the bed and open the letter. Before I even begin reading, the crackers land on my lap. I hadn't thought it would actually work. I take one out and give it to Raven. I look back at the letter.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ I deeply appreciate the letter. I have been more worried about you than I believe you know. I loathe the thought of you being with Snape for the rest of the holidays, but as you implied, there is nothing I can do. If I could safely remove you from wherever you are, I trust you know that I would do it in a second. But I fear that attempting something as dangerous as that would put you in grave peril._

_ As much as I hate it, I believe you are safer with Snape than with Bellatrix and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Through this whole thing, we've learned one thing: Severus Snape will not turn his back on his Master. If You-Know-Who truly desires your safety, I believe there is a greater chance of Snape keeping you safe than Bellatrix. As we've seen, your real mother is not overly talented in keeping back her emotions._

_ I do not like the idea of you being wandless while around Snape. If you know where he is keeping it and you know that you can get it without putting yourself in too much risk, I advise you to try. But do not attempt anything if you will be caught._

_ My door is always open to you, Charlotte, and you are more than welcome to come whenever you need. That being said, I will be expecting you 31 July. It does not matter the time, I will be waiting. You could never be a "nuisance" to me. I hope you know that._

_ It is natural for you to be anxious over what is coming, but the nightmares are peculiar. What happens in them? Are they always the same?_

_Sincerely,  
Professor McGonagall_

_P.S. To whom does the owl belong?_

A smile cracks across my face. I don't know what it is about her, but when McGonagall simply talks to me (or, as in this case, writes to me), I feel the stress lift itself off my shoulders.

I sit down to write a reply.

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_ I have successfully stolen back my wand. Snape went on a mission for the Dark Lord, and Narcissa was sent to make sure I did not escape. Narcissa is sympathetic toward my situation, and after a few minutes of "sobbing" to her, she let me go off by myself. I broke into Snape's room and got my wand back. It's such a safety blanket; I hadn't realized how badly I needed it._

Part of me feels bad about lying to her, but I know that it's necessary to keep Snape's Death Eater façade intact. Or at least, this is the easiest way to do that.

_ The owl is mine. Neither the Dark Lord nor his Death Eaters know that I have her. Her name is Raven (yes, I know it is an odd name, but the family who gave her to me had already named her). I got her when I was told I would be staying with Snape for the holidays. She's quite the companion, seeing how I remain locked in my room most of days. I hope she is compliant for you. Most of the time, she seems eager to please._

_ The nightmare is always the same. I'm drowning in the Black Lake. It's frozen over, and I walk out onto it. I just stand there. Then, when I start to come back, the ice cracks, and I fall in. I'm struggling beneath the surface, but I can't get back up. Snape is always walking toward me when I wake up. And this reoccurs almost every night._

_ I was part of a Death Eater meeting the other night. I heard that Tonks and Lupin got married! Give them my best. And warn them that Bellatrix is determined to "prune the family tree to make it healthy."_

I want to tell her that Voldemort knows when Harry will be moved by the Order, but I know that doing so will endanger McGonagall. If the letter is somehow intercepted, I can swing most of what I said to be in my favor. But telling Voldemort's plans would get us both killed. So I don't.

_ I'll be there after my duty. But I have no idea what time. Thank you for understanding and being willing to help me._

_I will see you soon,  
Charlotte_

I tie the letter around Raven's leg and send her off. Again, I watch her until I can no longer see her. Then I go downstairs.

"Telling more lies about me?" Snape asks.

"You know it," I reply, sitting down on the sofa. "When…how are they planning on catching Harry?" And I don't regret asking, though I was sure I was going to.

"I'm loyal to the Order," he prefaces. I nod. We've gone over this more times than necessary. "And as such, I Confunded a man –"

"Your source?" I ask.

He continues speaking without answering my question, "Who, in turn, convinced the Order to use the Polyjuice Potion. There will be seven Harry Potters leaving Potter's safe residence. Each will be paired with a member of the Order, each going to a different place. This is done to throw the Death Eaters off the course."

"How do you plan on helping him if you don't know which one he is?" I ask.

"Potter is arrogant, much like his father," I can't help but feel that he's biased. "It is my belief that he will be on a broomstick. He believes himself to be one of the greatest fliers there is."

"But this is just a hunch," I say quietly.

"I have another theory," he replies. "Potter is a sentimental sort. With Remus Lupin being the last of the Marauders, the last of his father's best mates, I believe the boy will travel with him. Lupin would see it as a way to honor his friend's memory, protecting his son."

"So you intend on following Lupin and his Harry?" I ask.

"Precisely."

"I want to come along," I announce.

Snape smirks. "You can't fly."

"But you can," I reply.

"What does that have to do with you?" he asks.

"If I go –"

"Which will not happen," Snape says.

"The Dark Lord will not want me going. So if I do, I'll need to be under the Disillusionment Charm." I meet his eyes. "You can fly. I cannot. But I'll be invisible."

"What are you suggesting?" Snape asks.

"I can ride on the back of your broom," I say.

"Absolutely not."

"But sir, Fred might be there." I lower my eyes and say quietly, "He could die."

"You won't know which one he is, and therefore you will be unable to help him."

"But you won't know which one he is either, which means you can't promise me you'll do your best!" I reply. "I don't want to lose him!"

And with this, I know I've got Snape on my side. He knows what it's like to lose someone he loves. I doubt he wants me to suffer through that.

"The Disillusionment Charm stays on you at all times. You're silent at all times. You do your best to help each and every Harry. If you fall off the broom, there is nothing I can do."

I smile. "Sounds like a deal."

* * *

**Good or bad idea that he agreed to let her go?**

**So it was Avery...how do you think he knows about his father's death?**

**Will the Carrows actually try to make Charlotte's time at Hogwarts comfortable?**

**Review!**


	74. Chapter 74

**Bad news, everyone. I am having my wisdom teeth taken out Friday. I don't think I'm going to feel like writing with the medicine and all in me, so I will not be able to update Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. I'm really sorry... But I'll start updating again on Tuesday.**

* * *

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I've noticed that wizards have weird names…I don't know why. There must be a reason… J.K. Rowling probably chose names based on the etymology. **

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! That little script gave me a really good laugh! I loved it lol. Especially when you asked about the weather.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't like what he did, but I liked his reason for what he did. He was avenging his father. I'll explain later how he knew about his father. I'm excited for what I've got planned for the Carrows. You're right, it had something to do with Mrs. Stoico.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I think that's why Snape relented and said she could go. He knew that she would find a way without his help. It definitely raises the risk factor with her being there, but we all know how she is lol. Well in canon, there is an Avery from Tom Riddle's day and an Avery from Snape's day. The first Avery was the one of the original Death Eaters. Nothing was ever said about what happened to him, so it's assumed that he went to Azkaban, but because that is only an assumption, I gave him a different ending. I'll explain how he knows. I've got things in mind for the Carrows.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! She really can't, can she? Poor girl… There are some things that I've got planned for the battle and for the Carrows. I can't wait for all of you to read it! lol**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I'm trying to make it interesting! :)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! She definitely would have tried going by herself, and Snape knew she was safer with him than without him. I'll explain how he knew. And no, it's not a good thing at all lol. I've got things in mind for the Carrows… I'm planning on having her doing her best to help the younger students. Thanks again for the review:)**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! You're in college this early in the year? That sucks… I've got a lot in store for the Carrows and how they will react to each other. It's going to be difficult for her to continue lying to McGonagall, but she doesn't have another choice…**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! What did the video say about McGonagall? I think they'll bond over it. They usually do, you know. It's them lol.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! If he hadn't have agreed, she would have found a way to go, and that would have been more dangerous. I felt like I needed to add a bit more to the plot, which is why I had the Avery scene. I can't say what's going to happen with the Carrows, but I've got big plans lol.**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say much about the Carrows and Charlotte. There's a lot I've got in store for them. Avery is not the only other Death Eater who knows what Charlotte did, but I can't say who else knows…**

* * *

**CHAPTER 74**

"Keep calm," Snape whispers to me. Sitting behind him on the broom, I've latched onto him with a death grip.

"I'm trying," I hiss quietly.

"Try harder."

There is a circle of Death Eaters, all of them waiting patiently for Harry to arrive with his caravan of protectors. Little do any of them know that there will be seven Harry Potters and that they'll have quite the time of trying to find the real one.

Then it happens. Seven pairs of people, a Harry in each group, rise into the sky. The large circle of Death Eaters converges on the Order members. They were completely oblivious. I should have gone against my better judgment and warned them. I should have done something. This is my fault.

"Breathe," I hear Snape command.

Flashes of green spurt through the sky as people shout, some in terror, some in pain, some in shock. Lupin is not with Tonks. That makes me nervous. They shouldn't be separated.

"Hold tightly." I don't even have time to register what he says before the broom whizzes off. I clutch onto him the best that I can, nearly falling off as we glide through the sky. Two more Death Eaters accompany us. We're chasing Lupin and his Harry. In my gut, I know that this is not the real one. I don't know why, but I have a feeling.

I see Arthur in the distance. They're being followed by one of the hooded figures. He raises his wand, and before I know what I've done, I've pointed my wand at the man. He's hit by my Impediment Jinx and falls off his broom. I gasp but say nothing.

Tonks and her Harry are surrounded by four hooded figures. While Tonks tries desperately to evade them, her Harry fires off spells at them. I point my wand at one of them and Stun him. He, too, falls off his broom. Then Tonks and her Harry disappear from my sight.

Snape's hood flies off of his head and drifts away. I look back to Lupin. One of the Death Eaters raises his wand at the werewolf's back. "_Sectumsempra!" _Snape shouts. But the spell misses the Death Eater's hand and hits the Harry in his ear. I hear his wail over the rushing of the wind. Snape swears. This won't go over well with the Order. Blood gushes from the injured Harry. I clench tighter to Snape as the Harry loses consciousness. Lupin grabs him and disappears in the clouds. I look around for my mother but cannot find her. Was she one of the two I knocked off their brooms? Hopefully not…

Our broom slows. "Leave," Snape commands me. "You've done all you can do. Go." His tone forces me to Disapparate, despite the argument that is already on the tip of my tongue.

I don't have the strength to stand when I reach Snape's house. My knees buckle, and I collapse to the floor. Who is dead? Who is alive? Who did I kill?

I crawl over to the sofa and let out a moan. Is Tonks okay? Is Lupin? I don't think I could handle knowing that one of them died, not after they've just gotten married.

But my biggest concern – despite knowing it should be Harry Potter – is Fred. Is Fred okay? Is his family okay? McGonagall wasn't there, so I don't have to worry about her. There is a tapping on the window by the door. I open my eyes to see Raven. She has returned with McGonagall's letter. I rush to the door and let her in, taking the letter as soon as possible. But I don't read it. There is something more important that I must learn.

I dash up the stairs and begin writing another letter.

_Dear Mrs. Weasley,_

_ I am currently being forced to stay with Snape, and will be for the rest of the holidays. But while I've been here, I've learned some of Voldemort's plans._

_ I found out too late that he knows about the Order moving Harry. It's going on right now, but I cannot Apparate anywhere to warn you in person. There are spells preventing me from leaving at all._

_ I wish I could write more, but I have to get this sent before Snape returns. _

_ What happened? Were there casualties? I know I have no right to be asking, but I have to know. I can't rest until I know that everyone is okay._

_Sincerely,  
Charlotte_

I give Raven another cracker and send her away. I can't help but feel guilty about sending her off so quickly again, but there is no other way. There is a _pop_ downstairs, and I sprint that way. "Professor!" I say when I see him. "What happened?"

He seems in a daze. "Mad-Eye Moody is dead," he says solemnly. "Potter was not caught."

"And?" I ask.

"I…I hit Potter with Sectumsempra," he says quietly.

"No, you didn't," I reply. "That wasn't him. I'm sure of it." He doesn't meet my eyes. "Who else died?" my voice is breaking.

"Rodolphus was injured," Snape says. "He was pursuing Tonks, along with Rabastan and Bellatrix and Alecto. Rodolphus and Alecto were both Stunned." I can't say it out loud, but I did that to one of them. What if I was the one who injured my father? "Rabastan saved Rodolphus, but he was bleeding profusely. Something else must have happened to him while he fell. Alecto was saved by Yaxley. Amycus had been knocked off his broom but managed to get back on."

"And…and Tonks?" I whisper.

"She eluded Bellatrix," he says.

Relief washes over me, and I rush forward to wrap my arms around Snape. He doesn't stop me. "Thank you," I say before pulling back.

"For what?" he replies.

"Saving Lupin, letting me go, helping me out there…" I say.

He gives me slight nod. "How do you know it wasn't Potter I hit?" he asks.

"I have a feeling."

With that, our conversation ends, and I go back to my temporary room.

It only takes two days for Raven to return. I quickly grab the letter off her leg, give her another cracker, and open the letter.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ It's great to hear from you. You haven't been to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes in a while. We miss seeing you around the Burrow too. But I understand. We're trying to make Fred see reason at the moment. I assume you know that Ron knows about your duty for You-Know-Who. He claims you told him, Harry, and Hermione after Dumbledore's burial._

_ So, about your questions, there were a few casualties. I'll give you a list._

_Casualties:_

_* Mad-Eye Moody. This was hard on all of us. We never found his body._

_* Harry's owl Hedwig. He's still suffering a bit, even though he doesn't say it._

_* My ear. Snape did it. Repay him for me, will you?_

_* Mum's mental state of mind. She's in a frenzy all the time now._

_* The ability for Mum to mix me and Fred up. My ear gives me away._

_* Mundungus Fletcher is missing. Long story short – he's the reason Mad-Eye is no longer with us._

_* Harry's state of mind. He believes his wand was doing magic without him._

_Victories:_

_* We escaped._

_* The Weasley family, the Lupin family, Hagrid, Kingsley, and Harry are all alive._

_* We knocked a few Death Eaters off their brooms. We feel pretty good about this._

_* Ron feels awkward around Tonks now. He had to wrap his arms around her waist._

_* We think Ron and Hermione are beginning to realize how much they care for one another._

_* Mum doesn't have to confuse me with Fred anymore. It's a blessing and a curse._

_Fred simply needs time. I know you're sick of hearing it, but it's true. He's my brother and my best mate. He'll come around. Bill's wedding is still going to take place. Charlie is coming in. _

_Take care of yourself around Snape. And again, get revenge for me, will you? At least until I can do it myself._

_Your friend,  
George Weasley_

I smile then rush down the stairs.

"Professor," I say. "It was George – George was the one you hit. Not Harry."

Snape doesn't look the least bit relieved by this. If anything, he looks worse. I take a breath and sit down on the sofa. I look over at his copy of the _Daily Prophet_. He tries to stop me from grabbing it, but I have it in my hands long enough to see the date. It is the twenty-ninth of July. I know what this means. Tomorrow is my last day of freedom. I meet Snape's eyes. His face is solemn. I look back to the paper and simply stare at it.

* * *

I slowly open my eyes. It is the day before Harry Potter's birthday. It is the day before I am to fulfill my duty to Voldemort. One day. That's all I have. Then I'm a slave, a slave until Harry is able to kill the Dark Lord.

With my body trembling, I go downstairs. "Professor," I whisper.

He looks up from his armchair, his face grave. "I was hoping you wouldn't realize," he says softly.

"Wouldn't realize?" I ask quietly, just a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "How could I not?"

Rain pounds on the roof. The universe is finally taking pity on me, finally showing sympathy. It's crying with me over what I must do in twenty-four hours. "Do you need anything?" he asks me.

"A Time-Turner would be nice," I sigh.

He smirks. "Would breakfast suffice?"

"For now, I suppose," I answer. Snape leads me into the kitchen. There is a feast, similar to what Mrs. Weasley makes, waiting for me. "How…?"

"The woman across the street is quite the chef," he says.

I smile and sit down. I don't eat much, and what I _can_ eat is forced down my throat painfully. I eventually just push the plate away from me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks softly.

I titter. "I don't think you want to hear what I have to say about this whole thing, professor."

"You're probably right," he says, "but I'm willing to listen nevertheless."

"I'm afraid, professor, that I'm not willing to talk about," I whisper. A half-hearted smile is all I can manage to give him. "But thank you anyways." I struggle to me feet and shuffle out of the room. I hear Snape get up as well. I don't have to turn around to know that he's watching me with sorrowful eyes. Instead of stopping at the sofa like I usually do, I force myself up the stairs and back to my tiny room.

I plop onto the bed and simply look around. This time last year, I was taking lessons with Snape to prepare me for this moment. This time last year, I thought I was going to escape Voldemort altogether. This time last year, I had hope.

Now here I am. One day away from being taken by Voldemort. One day away from seeing myself as nothing but an object of choice used to reproduce. I fall onto my side and curl up under my blankets. I can't do this. How does Bellatrix see this as an honor? How?

I close my eyes. Perhaps my body will kill itself off before I have to do this.

But I doubt it.

The next time I open my eyes, it's dark outside. I've slept most of the day. This could very well be the last good night's sleep I ever get. There is a faint knock at the door. I wipe the tears off my face. How was I crying in my sleep? I'll probably never know. "Come in," I choke.

Snape slowly opens the door. "If you didn't answer this time, I was going to come in and make sure you hadn't killed yourself," he says softly.

"I hadn't thought about that," I whisper. "But I see your point. How often have you checked?"

"This is my third time," he replies. He walks toward the bed. "May I?"

"Sure."

He sits down on the end of the bed and makes a weird face. "This bed is much softer than I remember," he says.

"I switched the mattresses," I confess.

"When did this happen?"

"Last year."

"Last – _last _ year?"

"I was upset at you, so I switched them. I never switched them back," I laugh sadly.

He mutters something, and though I can't fully hear him, it sounds something like "How did I miss that?"

We both fall silent, neither one of us knowing what to say to make this whole situation easier.

"What has Professor McGonagall been saying?" he asks.

"She doesn't trust you, for obvious reasons. She practically hates you," I reply.

"Humph," is his only answer.

Silence comes again. After a few minutes of this, he begins to stand. "Wait," I say quietly. He sits back down. "I…I hate to ask. But could…could you stay in here…until I fall back asleep?"

The professor is quiet for a moment. "Yes," he finally says.

I close my eyes again and pray for sleep to come. But it doesn't come. Nearly an hour passes, and I'm still not asleep. The bed creaks when Snape stands. "Wait," I plead. "I don't want to be left alone right now."

"I'll be right back," he whispers.

I say nothing else as he leaves the room.

For some reason, I imagined this night going differently. I imagined being snuggled up next to Fred as he offered me words of comfort. Instead, I'm lying in a bed at Spinner's End; Snape is sitting silently at the end of it; and no words of comfort are being shared.

There is one thing on my mind that I cannot make go away: Voldemort will take the one thing that is mine to give, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Then it hits me. There is something I can do about it. But it's risky, and it could very well mean the death of some people. Is it worth it? Well, there is the chance that they won't die. So, is it worth the risk? Better question: Is it worth trying?

I roll out of my bed and stand to me feet. I slowly walk out of my room and down the hall. I stop in front of Snape's room. He has to know what I'm planning on doing. If he doesn't understand, then it will never work. I knock on the door. He doesn't come. I knock again. He still doesn't come. I knock again.

He slowly opens the door. I've never seen the inside of his room, and I half-expected it to be green and silver, the colors of Slytherin House. But it's not. It's black and white. I guess that's not much better. Snape sees me staring into his room and steps in front of my view. "I told you I would be right back," he says. "What are you doing?"

"I…I have to…I can't do this," I say.

"I know it's going to be difficult for you, Charlotte," he replies softly. "But –"

"Tomorrow night, Voldemort is going to take something from me that should only be willingly given by me, and I cannot bear the thought of it being taken forcibly," I interrupt him.

"Charlotte –"

"No, listen to me!" I say frantically. "I can't – I can't – I can't live knowing that!"

"I –"

"Stop interrupting me!" I snap. He throws his hands up in submission. "Professor, Voldemort has taken something from you, hasn't he, something that can never be replaced?" His face hardens. "Then you know what I'm facing in this. Please, don't let him take this from me."

"What are you talking about?" he asks. "There's nothing I can do."

"But there is!" I argue.

"What makes you so sure?" he replies.

I bite my lip. I've started this conversation. I need to carry on with it. "Because you're a man!" I shriek.

His face pales. "You're delusional." He looks away and mutters, "I knew I should have woken you up and made you eat…"

"I'm not delusional!" I cry. "I'm desperate!"

"You need to go back to bed," he says softly.

"No!" I scream. "Please! Don't let him take this from me! I can never get it back! Just like you can never get Lily back!"

His face contorts for a second. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I close my eyes. Think Harry…think Harry…he has her eyes. Think Harry… I got it! He has her exact eyes. I open my eyes again. This is the most desperate I have ever been while using my Metamorphmagus abilities. "Look into _her_ eyes!" I say.

He locks his gaze in mine. "Stop it – stop it now."

"Would she want me to go to Voldemort and lose this part of me?" I ask. "Would she want me to face this? You can help me! Don't let him take this from me!"

There are tears in his eyes. "Stop now, Charlotte. I'm warning you."

I make my eyes look like mine once again. "Please!" I sob. "Lily Evans was the most compassionate person Dumbledore ever knew! She wouldn't want me to face this! She would want you to help me!"

"How is...this…going to help you?" he replies, his voice tinkering on falling into fury.

"Because if I go to him willingly, then he wins!" I shout. "Please! Lily wouldn't want me to face this without – she would want me to go with this power over the Dark Lord! This power of knowing that he didn't take what he intended to! That he lost out to someone else!"

Snape shakes his head. "I care about you, but I can't –"

I make my eyes look like those of Harry Potter, the ones he inherited from his mother. I whisper, "Look into her eyes. Please. She wouldn't want me to face this."

His eyes falter for a second, and I know I've won this. I take a step closer to him, and he doesn't stop me. Before he has a chance to say anything else, I reach up and put my lips against his. He stiffens, but a moment later he wraps his arms around me. As he takes a step away from the door, he kicks it shut. I let him lead me to the bed, our lips still dancing together.

I have to physically force myself to ignore the fact that it is Professor Severus Snape who is sliding his hands over my body.

* * *

**I haven't got much to say here about what just happened...**

**Did you expect it?**

**Were you surprised?**

**Was it wrong of her to use Lily against him like that?**

**Review!**


	75. Chapter 75

**So I think I worded it wrong last chapter or something, but I WILL be able to update today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday), but I will not be able to update Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. I'll pick up again on Tuesday.**

* * *

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I hadn't thought about it, but you're totally right. She IS being a Slytherin! Lol. It's no big deal. I'll get to have a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham Carter marathon! It'll be great.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I thought "ew" at first too haha. I can't say anything on them going through with it. All of that is covered in this chapter. She believes her life is over, so she doesn't care what the repercussions are. I tried to make the letter seem that George could have written it. I'm glad I succeeded. I laughed when you shouted via a review :) Thanks for the advice. I'll try to force down some ice cream.**

**moonfeather58: Thanks for reviewing! If Voldemort finds out, there will definitely be hell to pay, but she doesn't care at the moment. It was not her best thought-out plan by any means…**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad it was unexpected! I have been waiting for all of you to read this chapter like…since I first started writing the story!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I'm thrilled that I put you at a loss for words! That was my goal, to be honest. I wanted to shock everyone. I believe I succeeded…**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really sorry. I tried to keep it very minimal since it's rated T.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! Glad you didn't expect it. I wanted to catch everyone off guard…**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! You've been waiting for them to sleep together? What gave it away? I try to make it a point to show that they care about each other while making it obvious that they are not IN love lol.**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! That's exactly why she did it: She didn't want to associate the first time with rape, she wanted it to be on her terms and her terms alone. I can't comment on Fred and Charlotte… Thanks for the tip, I'll definitely try to sleep all day. Your schedule sounds pretty good…**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I think I wrote my notice wrong. I'll be update today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday, before my surgery). I just won't be able to update on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. You'll still get two more updates! I've had this planned from the beginning, to be honest; I knew exactly when it was going to happen as well. I mentioned in the first chapter that Charlotte is a Metamorphmagus, because I knew she would need it for that moment (as well as a few in the future that I can't discuss right now).**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for the favorite and the follow and the review! I'm glad you didn't expect it. I wanted to catch most people off guard, so I'm glad I succeeded. At first I planned on him getting angry, but then I decided that after seeing her eyes, he would be more heartbroken than anything.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 75**

Panic surges through me. What day is it? Where am I? What's happened?

I force myself to breathe, something I typically neglect to do when panicking. I need to sort through my thoughts.

Okay, I'm at Spinner's End. I've been here since the beginning of the holidays. There was a battle, an aerial battle. It had been Snape's plan to have seven Harry Potters, designed to confuse the Death Eaters. It's the thirtieth of July. Tomorrow is the day when Voldemort will make me his slave. The thought sends chills down my spine. Heat flushes to my face though, as my awkward dream floods back to me. Why was I dreaming of sleeping with Snape? Granted, it would be a solution to Voldemort taking what is mine to give.

But I could never do it.

I pull the blankets tighter around me and hear a grunt. My eyes fly open. I don't know this room. Carefully, I turn my head around. My heart plummets, and my stomach leaps to my throat.

There, lying next to me, sound asleep, is Severus Snape. His pale chest is bare. His left arm is draped over his stomach. Oh my God…it wasn't a dream. But that means that _today_ is the thirty-first, not tomorrow. What have I done? What will McGonagall say? What will Fred say? The rest of the Weasleys? Voldemort? Bellatrix? Draco? Narcissa? What would Dumbledore say? What would Mrs. Stoico say? No, no, no, no, no, no...this can't be so. I close my eyes tightly and open them again. It didn't work. I'm still in Snape's room.

Moving as slowly as I would move if I were defusing a Muggle bomb, I slide out of the bed and onto the floor. I snatch up my clothes, and, ignoring my nakedness and the awkwardness I feel from that, I sneak out of the room. I throw my clothes into the far corner of my room, grab more, and rush to the bathroom. The first thing I do is hop in the shower.

What have I done? I…I used Lily against him. What kind of evil git am I? Who does that? Who uses a love that strong against someone? I'm no longer just a murderer, I'm a whore. Great, now I'm a murdering whore…

I shut the water off. Nothing I do can change what I've done. Not even all the water in the ocean can wash these sins away. I get out and put my clothes on.

Unable to face Snape, I creep into my room, crawl onto my bed, lean against the headboard, and pull my knees to my chest. Now not only do I have to keep my relationship with Fred, my friendship with McGonagall and the other Order members, and my resistance to do my duty from the Dark Lord, but now I also have to keep this little tidbit about me sleeping with Snape from him as well. Life just got more complicated.

As if he knows I'm thinking about how complicated things have become, Snape enters my room, seemingly just to make it more complicated. "Please leave," I whisper.

"I believe there is something we need to speak about," he replies quietly.

Why must he do this? "I don't think there is," I say.

"Charlotte –"

I point at him and say, "I…I am a student at Hogwarts. You sir…you are…you are a professor – the headmaster. You…professors call students by their surnames. I'm 'Rodgers' not 'Charlotte.'"

"Charlotte," he repeats. "We have to talk."

"I…I-I don't think we do, sir," I reply.

Snape tries to take a step closer to me, and I frantically try backing away, only to ram into the headboard of the bed. "Charlotte," he tries again, "we can either speak in here, or we can go speak in the sitting room. Either way, I will have this conversation with you before I send you to the Dark Lord. Understood?"

I darken my gaze at him. But he wins this battle when he takes another step toward me and attempts to sit down. "All right! All right!" I cave. "The sitting room is preferable."

Snape nods, obviously having expected this from the beginning. I follow him down the stairs, making it a point to be utterly silent. He takes a seat in his armchair, and I sit on the sofa. He gazes at me. "First thing's first –"

"I know, I know," I say. "It'll never happen again, and no one will ever know about it. We good now?"

"Hardly," he replies. "First thing's first, how in the name of God did you find out about, well, Lily. Did someone tell you?"

"No, professor," I answer. "I…back in – was it October? – I pieced everything together. The green eyes, the red hair, your loving voice – it all made sense when I saw the picture of Harry's parents."

His jaw clenches but whether it was voluntary or not I'll probably never know. "Who have you told?" His voice is strained.

"No – no one," I say. "I…I kept it to myself…no one needed to know."

"Not even McGonagall?" he replies.

"Not even her," I say.

"It stays that way," he says. And though his face is straight and impassive, his voice carries with it such a threat that I almost want to crawl under the sofa and hide from his piercing black eyes. "Now, onto the rest of what happened –"

"No one will ever know, professor," I interrupt. I already know where this is going.

"And you must be absolutely sure that you can keep this out of your thoughts when around the Dark Lord," he adds.

"Trust me, sir, this isn't something I want to dwell on."

He doesn't comment.

"I find that we put things behind us easily," I say quietly. "Could this be one of those things?"

His dark, sorrow-laden eyes meet mine. "Before that happens, I must ask one thing."

I gulp. "Sure," I reply uncertainly.

His gaze doesn't leave mine. "Let me see her eyes, one last time," he whispers.

"What?"

"Lily's eyes," he croaks. "You had them perfect last night."

"I was thinking of Harry's," I say.

"And he has her exact eyes," he continues. "But I can't bring myself to look into them. His face is too much like his father's." I can't tell if he's about to cry or not, but it seems like he is. "Please."

I nod and close my eyes. Once I've got Harry's eyes pictured, I fix my gaze on Snape's. We sit there in complete silence for nearly ten minutes, simply looking into each other's eyes. Well, me looking into his and him looking into Lily's. And somehow I know that if we can sit here like this and not fight over what happened, we're going to be okay. Sure, there might be some awkward moments, some tense times, because things have changed, but I think, overall, he's still my friend, my mentor, my help against Voldemort.

But I feel this guilt seething inside me. I shouldn't have done what I did. I don't know what possessed me to use Lily's eyes; it just happened. And I'd be surprised if Snape doesn't harbor some kind of hate for me. I mean, had I been in his shoes and someone used Fred's eyes against me, I would loathe them. And I would loathe them forever. Snape seems the type to hold a grudge. I don't want him to, but I know he will. I don't want to lose his friendship.

But maybe I'm right about us being okay. I mean, he hasn't attacked me. That's not to say that he won't…but, I don't think he will. At least, I hope he won't.

Though I'm tempted to look away from his obsidian eyes, I can't, not just because he so desperately wants to see Lily's eyes but because I'm being sucked into his. He's one of the only people I've ever met with black eyes. I've seen tons of people with blue eyes (the male Weasleys, the Lestrange brothers, Christopher, Narcissa), some with brown eyes (Mrs. Weasley and Ginny, Bellatrix), but I feel that those are normal colors. Harry's bright green (previously Lily's bright green) and Snape's black eyes leave me speechless. Harry's makes me happy, but Snape's draws me into this lonely state. I feel as if I can see every bit of the pain he has ever suffered. Is this why no one looks him in the eyes for long?

Slowly, the man, whose eyes are in question, stands up. As he leaves the room, he puts his hand on my shoulder, not looking at me, and I take this as permission to look myself again. Once he disappears upstairs, I go to the kitchen and look to the house across the street. The woman has just finished cooking something. As bad as I feel about it, I summon it over and lay it all out on the table.

Once she enters her kitchen again, I can see that she is obviously confused and frustrated, as anyone in her shoes would be. We've stolen her food on many occasions. I stick my fingers in my mouth and whistle loudly. She looks over. I wave to her. I wonder if she's ever encountered a witch before. I guess it doesn't matter much. I point my wand at her and alter her memories.

Then I take a seat and force myself to eat. I'll need energy to fight off Voldemort later today. I certainly won't go willingly. If I've gone to such drastic measures as sleeping with Snape, I will not being compliant for Voldemort. I plucked up the courage and faced my fear by going to the professor, so I know I can do this.

I've just finished eating when Snape comes back in the room. "Morning," he says.

"Morning," I reply.

"Did you steal the food from that poor woman across the street?" he asks.

"You know it," I answer, "but she doesn't. I modified her memories. She doesn't even remember cooking. She's doing it again."

He smirks. "Practicing for your future as an Obliviator, I suppose," he says.

"All the time."

I sit there while he eats. We've put everything behind us, or at least I believe we have, I hope we have. But there's one thing left that I need to know, yet I'm unsure if I should ask. I mean, Snape came back and pretty much started the day all over again. Several times I find myself opening my mouth to ask, but I always stop myself. Perhaps this isn't the best idea. Perhaps I shouldn't ask.

But I want to know.

When he finishes his meal, I meet his eyes. "Professor, why do you hate Harry Potter so much?" I finally blurt out.

Only after drinking what's left of his pumpkin juice and wiping his mouth off does he say, "He's too much like his father. I'm sure you know what his father did during his years at Hogwarts."

I don't say anything, but I do know. James Potter was the bloke who made life pretty miserable for the adolescent Snape. "There's got to be more than that though, sir," I say softly. "I mean, I hate Pansy Parkinson's guts, but I don't know if I'll hate her children because of it."

His eyes fill with sorrow again. "He took everything from me."

"Lily?"

"She was, has always been, and will always be my everything," he says.

My heart aches for him. I can't imagine what he's gone through. "But, sir," I can't stop myself, "if she's your everything, why do you treat her son like he's nothing?"

"Because he's Potter's son," he says firmly.

"But –"

He cuts me off angrily, "Because Harry Potter should be _my _son!"

I nearly choke. "Wh-what? What?" is all I can say.

The professor takes a deep breath. "Had I not ruined my chances with Lily, had I not chosen the Death Eaters over her, _I_ would have married her. _I_ would have been the father of her children, not Potter," he says softly.

"If you could go back –"

"I would choose Lily every time."

My heart wrenches. I have nothing left to say. "Starting over again then, professor?"

"This is the last time we start over," he states.

"But what if –"

"The last time without any repercussion or consequences," he says. "The last time, Charlotte. Keep that in mind."

"I'll try to," I reply quietly.

He nods. "Clean the kitchen." Then he leaves.

I do as I was told. I clean the kitchen, but it only takes a few minutes. Then I am able to go and sit down on the sofa. Snape and I don't speak. And that makes everything more difficult. Without having someone to talk to, the thought of Voldemort bombards me with such ferocity that I soon find myself in a ball.

I'm folded over myself, my head lying on the armrest. Tears slip down my face and into my hair. I do nothing to stop them; I'm just happy they're silent. The last thing I want is Snape to know how hard I'm taking all of this. So far I've been able to keep a pretty strong front, for most of the time at least. I don't want to break just a few hours before I am to face everything. That would not be good for me.

Snape and I still remain silent.

And we stay that way for hours. Surprisingly, it's not awkward. Neither of us knows what to say with my impending duty coming down the tracks so quickly. There are a few times that one of us will attempt to say something, but after just a second of eye contact, silence ensues again. There is absolutely nothing that can be said that can make this any easier. Nothing can be said to make this weight go away. Nothing can be said to get me out of this.

For the first time since breakfast, Snape speaks, but it isn't something I want to hear. "The Dark Lord is summoning you."

I splutter before I say, "What?"

He grabs his left arm. "He's summoning you."

My breathing becomes ragged as horror rises inside me again. "What?" is all I can manage to say. It can't be that time already. I look outside. It's dark. How long have we been sitting here quietly?

Snape stands and walks over to me. I'm still curled up on the sofa. He crouches down in front of me. "Charlotte," he says softly. "You're going to be all right."

"Am I?" I snap.

"You have a power over him, a power he does not know about," he whispers.

I sad grin finds its way to my face without my permission.

"Come on," he says gently, coaxing me to my feet. "He doesn't like to be kept waiting."

I nod. "Are you going?"

"No, but I'll be waiting for you here," he replies. "If you need anything…I'll do my best."

"Thank you." I Apparate to Malfoy Manor.

Bellatrix and Narcissa are waiting for me in the drawing room. My mother rushes to me and takes me into her arms. "Aurelia," she whispers, only for me to hear. "I'm so proud of you."

I want to hit her in the face, but I stop myself. She doesn't realize what I'm going through. She doesn't realize that I'm not like her. And therefore she is not sympathetic to what I am to do. "I'm scared," I breathe.

"You're going to be fine," she assures me.

When she pulls way, Narcissa takes me into her arms. "You'll be fine, Charlotte," she says.

"Where's Draco?" I can't help but ask.

As if on cue, I hear a loud, "Get off of me!"

"Draco!" someone else tries. "You can't –"

The door to the drawing room bursts open, and Draco charges in, followed closely by Lucius, who gives his wife an "I couldn't stop him" look. My cousin comes over to me and wraps me up in his arms. And suddenly, I don't care about Bellatrix and Narcissa. Neither of them carry with them the comfort that Draco does. "Remember what I told you," he says quietly. "Not willingly."

I kiss his cheek. "Never," I say, tears already in my eyes.

He smiles. "Use that fire you used against Zabini."

I smile back. Then Narcissa and Bellatrix separate us. "Come with us, dear," Narcissa says. In silence, they lead me through the manor. As they do, a new resolve forms in me. I will do as Draco has asked.

I will fight this.

* * *

**At the beginning, did you suspect that it could have been a dream? (I wouldn't do that cause it would be too cliché, but did you believe it?)**

**Do you think they'll actually be able to just move past that?**

**What about that moment in the manor?**

**Review!**


	76. Chapter 76

**This is my last update until Tuesday**

* * *

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Chapter 74 – I'm glad you didn't expect it! It was definitely wrong of her to use Lily against him. Chapter 75 – I figured most people wouldn't believe that it was a dream, but I thought I'd try anyway lol. I think they'll be able to move too. I wanted to develop their relationship before it came to that, which is why they seemed to be getting closer throughout the story.**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! I hope they'll be able to move past it. I think they will. It's undecided lol.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you have confidence in me not to use something as cliché as that :) Thanks, I tried really hard on the scene with the eyes. I wanted to capture just what it meant to them. They pretty much already have. I just hope, when they see each other again, that it stays that way. If by "what happens next" you mean between Charlotte and Snape, you're going to be a little let down…sorry. There's just stuff that has to happen first.**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I feel so bad for him! I wanted her to have some encouragement, and I knew that Draco would be the best at giving her real encouragement before she went to see Voldemort.**

**xXDanceAllNightXx: Thanks for reviewing! I thought the same thing when I first planned it, but then I realized I had a reason for doing it so it made more sense. I'm glad you understand why they did what they did.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I wanted to make you all wait one more chapter because it builds tension and the chapter would have been far too long if I would have added it at the end. I tried really hard to capture his emotions :)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I thought I might be able to trip some people up with the dream thing. I'm glad I got a few lol. I guess we'll have to wait and see if she actually does it…**

**rubzdiamond: Thanks for reviewing! You've been expecting them to sleep together? What gave it away? I don't like them as a couple either, and they both love another person, so they won't be a couple. But they do care about each other a great deal.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! Well, I thought about making them both really angry, but then I figured that wouldn't be as much angry as just confused, you know? Like, they've been close for a while now, and then this happened. I think they're trying to sort out their thoughts instead of getting angry with each other. Unless you're talking about Charlotte and the Voldemort thing, in which case that's solved in this chapter.**

**Ellen: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks! I'm thrilled that you found it and couldn't stop reading it! I tried giving Snape another side, at least when he's with Charlotte. I don't know about them being a couple…I think it'd be weird lol, especially since they're both in love with someone else. That and he's old :)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I think they'll be able to move on too, mainly because they are so close. There will most likely be awkward moments, all things destroyed. It makes me happy that you're on the edge of your seat. I hope I can live up to your expectations…**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I think they move past it too:) This is the chapter where Charlotte goes to see Voldemort:)**

**TheMidnightwolf15: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**writerxpirate: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**a1m0stxfam0us: Thanks for the favorite!**

**danae. bir: Thanks for the follow!**

**LadyNathalie: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 76**

Both of my arms have been claimed by Bellatrix and Narcissa, effectively keeping me between the two of them. They each whisper words of encouragement to me. They don't realize that their encouragement is not helping me but making it worse. They keep saying things like "you're going to be fine" or "it's not as bad as you think it's going to be" or "you're only worrying yourself over nothing."

Not only do these statements scare me even more than I already am, but they also offend me a bit. They probably don't mean to, but they make me feel as if I'm some little, ignorant child that is about to do something for the first time. All of that statement is wrong. I am not a little child. I am not an ignorant child. And because of yesterday, this is not my first time facing something like this.

Granted, this is the first time I'm facing this with the knowledge that it will not be consensual but rape. That in and of itself is enough to make me fret the next portion of my life.

We stop at a door that I have never seen before. "I don't recognize this," I say quietly.

"You wouldn't," Narcissa answers. "It's charmed. It wasn't here before."

"Is this where he stays most of the time?" I whisper.

"No," Bellatrix replies.

In her short answer I hear all that I need to hear: Any trace of what is about to happen is not desirable for Voldemort to have in his private chambers. I am less valuable to him than I thought.

"This is where we leave you, Charlotte," Narcissa says quietly. I offer her a weak smile. She sees right through it and pulls me close to her. "We'll be here…after…"

I nod. Bellatrix gently takes me away from Narcissa and holds me tightly. "Aurelia," she whispers, "I'm proud of you." My mother looks into my eyes and smiles. "You were…you were born for this. It was not ideal to begin with, but now…I couldn't be more pleased for this to be your destiny."

Biting back me anger, I give her the same weak smile that I had offered Narcissa. Both my aunt and my mother take a step back, silently telling me to enter the room. With a trembling hand, I reach for the door knob. I almost have to use my other hand to stabilize it, but I stop myself and grab the handle with a swift motion. The door creaks as I push it open. I take one last glance at the two women behind me. They each smile at me in their own way: Narcissa with a sad and compassionate smile, and Bellatrix with proud and encouraging smile. I focus on Narcissa's before I close the door.

The room is lit with torches, much like Snape's basement. Tears are already filling in my eyes. There is a large cast-iron bed, almost identical to Draco's. The sheets are green and silver. I should have guessed that Voldemort would choose Slytherin colors. I walk to the middle of the room and stop. I cross my arms over my chest and prepare myself for a battle.

Another door opens, and in walks Lord Voldemort himself. "Charlotte," he greets me.

Bravely, I don't say anything, but I can feel my heartbeat quicken and my stomach plummet.

"I trust Severus is being hospitable?" he says.

"You 'trust' right," I reply coldly.

His red eyes lock onto my face. He tries applying Legilimency, but I don't let him. "Who taught you Occlumency?" he asks.

I set my jaw. "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore," I state, and I'm not afraid of him learning the truth, because I am able to keep it from him.

"On behalf of your mother," he says, "I will not harm you." He takes a step closer to me. "But if you ever disrespect me like that again, I am afraid I will not be as forgiving. I am your Lord; I am your Master. You will treat me as such." Again, he tries to apply Legilimency. Much as Dumbledore had done when testing me, Voldemort applies it with such force that I am thrown onto my back. "Dumbledore taught you well."

"Yes," I state. "He did." I try to slide away from him.

"I understand that you are fearful," he says softly, "but I will not hurt you."

"Is that what you said to Charity Burbage?" I ask.

The Dark Lord draws his wand and points it at me. I'm pulled to my feet. "I commend you for your bravery despite the horror that is growing in you. But this has been decided for too many years. There is no other way."

He takes another step toward me, and try as I might, I cannot move away. Instead, I am going toward him. He's right. There is nothing I can do. I'm not even in control of myself anymore, but I seem to be blissfully happy about it. All of my worries seem to have been wiped out of my mind, and I don't know how. It just seems that everything will be okay. I don't know where this feeling is coming from. Then it goes away.

Voldemort reaches out and grabs me by the chin. His red eyes glare into my blue ones. And I have to admit that not even Dumbledore's Legilimency was as strong as the Dark Lord's. My mind literally aches, throbbing under his spell.

"You are proficient at keeping me from entering your mind," he says dangerously.

This time, when he applies Legilimency, I let him into my thoughts.

_I'm standing beside Harry Potter. There are hundreds of witches and wizards all standing around him, cheering and applauding. I turn and look at Harry's feet. The corpse of Voldemort lies there, helpless. His hand is open, his wand laying it, a wand that had stood no chance against Harry._

"_Voldemort is dead!" someone from the crowd shouts._

_Then they all begin to chant Harry's name and lift him onto their shoulders. Everyone wants to congratulate the Boy Who Lived._

Then I shove Voldemort from my mind. "It'll happen one day," I say. "Just wait."

"The boy will not defeat me," he replies. "And you would be wise to know that."

"And you would be wise to know that it _will_ happen."

I'm lifted into the air and slammed onto the stone floor.

"You do not want to anger me, Charlotte." He points his wand at me.

I can't respond. I can't do anything. He smiles maliciously. That odd happiness is back, and, against my will, I stand up and walk toward him. My body refuses to let me fight him off as he puts his hand on my waist and pulls me closer to him.

I close my eyes as Voldemort glides his hands and over me, and I try to imagine myself anywhere but here. At least I know that he will be expecting me to still be a virgin, when in reality I'm not. Thanks to Snape, if I do get pregnant, Voldemort cannot be a hundred percent sure that it is his "heir."

* * *

Pain surges through my arm. Slowly, I open my eyes. It's too dark to know where I am. My body begins to tremble. Soft hands run through my hair. That's when I realize that my head is in someone's lap.

My heart racing, I scurry away from whoever it is. I don't stop until I've realized (too late) that I'm toppling off the bed. The stone floor is hard, cold, and unforgiving. I groan.

"Aurelia!"

"Charlotte!"

I don't even know what to do at this point. But at least now I know who is in the room. It's Bellatrix and Narcissa. Two pairs of hands grab me by the arms and pull me to my feet. I jerk my arms out of their grasps and inspect them. Bruises. They're covered in bruises. I can't remember Voldemort holding that tightly to me.

"Aurelia," Bellatrix says. She brushes my hair out of my face. She was the one who was playing with my hair.

"Where am I?" I ask quietly.

"You're in my private chambers," my mother says.

"And what am I doing here?" I reply.

Narcissa touches my arm. "The Dark Lord sent us to retrieve you. You were hysterical. We had to put you under a bewitched sleep to calm you and move you here."

My breathing quickens. "What time is it?"

"Nearly four in the morning," Narcissa says softly. "You've been out for almost five hours."

Four? Is that too late to go to McGonagall? She said I could come whenever…but four?

"What's wrong?" Bellatrix asks.

I glare at her. "You're asking me that? Seriously?" I snap.

"Aurelia –"

"I have to go now." I don't wait a second before I Disapparate, leaving both my aunt and my mother looking equally confused and startled.

I am in Hogsmeade. Without any doubt that this is what I should be doing, I dash up to Hogwarts, leaving the little village behind me. I throw open the doors to the entrance hall with a wave of my wand. Not looking back, I go to a place that is so familiar to me that I could get there blindfolded.

Always having tried to be respectful to McGonagall, I usually knock. But this time, I open the door and run to the middle of the room. There's no telling where the entrance to her private quarters is. "Professor!" I cry, sobs already catching up to me. Tears are flowing freely. "Professor!" I hear a noise come from behind the far wall. "Professor McGonagall!"

A door opens in the wall, and the professor comes out. "Charlotte!" she says, running to me and taking my taking body into her arms. I instantly feel myself calming. "Come with me." With her arm around me, she leads me into her private chambers, closing the door off. "Sit down." There is a Gryffindor-colored bedroom suit and a white sofa adorning the room. We go to the sofa and sit. "We don't have to talk unless you want to."

I close my eyes and nod. I wipe the tears off my cheeks. "I…I wouldn't…go willingly," I stammer. "He…he put me…under a spell…" I meet her gaze. "Would…would it still…be considered…if I was Imperiused…would it…would it still…would it still be called rape…even though I couldn't…I couldn't fight back?"

McGonagall's eyes fill with tears as she grabs me and holds me close. "Oh, Charlotte," she whispers.

"I feel…" I sob. "I feel…s-so…filthy…"

"It is not your fault," she says firmly. "You are not accountable for what that bastard did to you."

I clutch onto her, smiling a bit that she swore in front of a student.

"You'll never be at fault for this," she continues.

I pull away so I can look her in the eye, but tears cloud my vision too fiercely for me to see anything. McGonagall reaches toward me, gathers my hair behind my head, and brings it forward to drape it over my shoulder. She proceeds to put her hands on my cheeks, wiping the tears that run down my face. "You will still be the same Charlotte that you were before. It doesn't matter what's happened to you or what will happen to you; you will always be Charlotte Rodgers to me."

"Except I'm Aurelia Lestrange," I whisper coarsely.

"Though that might be your given name, you will be Charlotte Rodgers to me," she replies.

I bury my face into the crook of her neck and weep. "How am I supposed to live with myself?" I ask.

"You'll find a way," she says. "You're a bright, young witch. And I'll always be here to help you."

Not caring whether she approves or not, I sink down and rest my head in her lap. Then I pull my legs up and just lie there. She doesn't seem to mind, and if she does, she doesn't say anything. She takes my hair in her hands and plays with it, as Bellatrix had done. I close my eyes and try to ignore the thought of what Voldemort did, the humiliation I feel, and the sobs wracking my body.

The next time I open my eyes, I'm lying in a bed, and I don't know how I got there or where I am. All I know is that there is a silhouette of a person sitting in a chair beside me. So naturally, I scream out, and jump off the bed, only to cower in the corner. "Who are you?" I shout.

"Charlotte," comes the answer, "calm down."

"P-professor?" I reply, already feeling my body calming. "Where am I?" I peel myself out of the corner and walk towards McGonagall.

"You're at Hogwarts, still in my private chambers," she says. "I didn't mean to startle you. You fell asleep, and I moved you to the bed."

I look around. How did I not realize this before I screamed? "What time is it?" I ask in a whisper, hoping that a soft voice will compensate for my yelling.

"Nearly noon," she answers.

"You…you let me sleep that long?"

"I saw no need in waking you."

A smile comes to my lips. I love how kind she is to me, even though I'm not the greatest person. But before I can say this, a wave of nausea rushes through me. My head jerks to the door that I seriously hope leads to the bathroom, and I run that way. Luckily for me, it is the bathroom, and there is a toilet. I fall down in front of it and throw up. "Mum!" I cry. Then it hits me: My mother is not here, and even if she was, I don't think I'd want her to try to help me at this point. "Pr –"

But the door opens, and in walks McGonagall, who quickly pulls my hair to back so it won't get vomit in it. "Are you all right?" she asks quietly, rubbing my back.

"Yeah," I croak, my throat burning terribly, "I just haven't –" more puke comes up and into the toilet. "I haven't really eaten in three days. And the thought of Voldemort –" even more puke makes me stop talking again.

"I'll get you something to eat then, shall I?" she replies.

"That'd be nice," I whisper.

Then she's gone, just as fast as she came. I lean against the wall and close my eyes. I knew I should have eaten. I just knew it. But I hadn't been able to, so I guess there wasn't really a way that I could have. But still, this is humiliating. Not only did I interrupt McGonagall's routine by showing up in the middle of the night, but now I'm also needy. The thought makes me feel so guilty.

After a few minutes, I determine that I probably won't be getting sick again, and I stand to rinse my mouth out in the sink. Life is now even more complicated than it was after Snape helped me.

I enter McGonagall's private room as she returns with a platter of sandwiches and a few glasses of water. "Thanks," I say quietly. She then transfigures the sofa into a table with chairs, and we sit down. "There…there are some things…that I think you should know."

"Such as?"

"Snape…he's…Voldemort has pretty much taken over the Ministry…and Snape…he's going to be the new headmaster," I struggle to say.

"What?" she asks. Her face is turning red with fury. "Albus…he killed Albus and believes – he cannot be headmaster! Not after…"

"And two Death Eaters – Alecto and Amycus Carrow – will be given the position of Deputy Headmaster, as well as Muggle Studies and Defense Against the Dark Arts posts," I continue. She needs to know this, needs to hear it from me, before word is spread. "And they enjoy punishment."

"Albus would never stand for this," she says quietly. Then she meets my eyes. "You're sure about this?"

I nod. "I was in the meeting when they were talking about it."

"And Charity Burbage – the previous Muggle Studies professor – she didn't resign, did she?"

"No, professor," I reply, and the sight of Nagini eating her comes to back to me with a fury. "Voldemort…he killed her, with Avada Kedavra. Then…he let Nagini…he let the snake eat her, professor! And we couldn't leave until…until it was over… Draco, I don't think he'll ever be the same again…"

She looks away from me. "I don't want you staying with Snape," she says firmly. "I don't trust him around you."

"The Dark Lord has ordered my safety," I reply. "He won't hurt me."

"Like Bellatrix wouldn't hurt you?" she asks. "Was it not He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named who directed that attack?"

I bite my lip. "It was, but at the meeting, he specifically demanded my safety."

"And you trust that the Death Eaters will obey?"

"I didn't, but after what he's done to Avery by now…it would take a lot for someone to harm me again."

"Again?"

"Avery – he was Mrs. Stoico's brother, the son of her murderer – he wanted revenge for me killing his father. Voldemort and Bellatrix found me as he was attacking me. He was punished quite severely."

McGonagall shakes her head. "I don't like you being with them. I don't like it at all. And I certainly don't like you staying with Snape."

"I don't either," I lie. "If there was any other way, I would choose it."

"Will you be attending Hogwarts this coming year?"

"It's the will of the Dark Lord," I say. "I have to admit that I agree with him on this one thing. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't come back. I'd lose my mind."

"It's going to a rough year," she says quietly.

"There's something else, professor."

She looks up at me.

"Voldemort is using his influence in the Ministry to influence the _Daily Prophet_. Harry Potter will soon become a target in questions concerning Dumbledore's death," I whisper. "It's probably not safe at Hogwarts for him."

"I don't think Mr. Potter will be returning. Albus sent him on a…mission," she says. "I don't know what it is. He wouldn't speak of it."

I push the food away from me. How am I supposed to stay at Hogwarts if I'm pregnant? Better yet, if I'm not pregnant, what will Voldemort do? Will I be summoned away from Hogwarts every so often so he can try again? What's going to happen to me? I meet McGonagall's eyes. I don't think I can live with myself, knowing that he's violated me like that. "I should go," I reply quietly.

"So soon?"

"Snape will begin to wonder where I've run off to, and that could lead to the Dark Lord hunting me. I don't want to put you into danger." I stand up from the table. McGonagall stands as well and takes me into her arms.

"Take care of yourself. Write me often," she says.

"Yes, professor."

She walks with me until we reach a point where I can Disapparate. I give her one last hug, then leave, going back to Spinner's End.

* * *

**I don't really know what to ask...**

**I guess I just want your opinion of what just happened.**

**Do you think she'll have to go back to him?**

**Review!**


	77. Chapter 77

**Finally back! I feel like it's been forever! I hope it was worth the wait!**

* * *

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't review. After all, I didn't update for a few days lol.**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Thanks for the favorite and the review! That's kind of why I had him use the Imperius Curse. It's difficult enough for her, and it'd be even worse if she had the memories of it. I wanted to show a little bit of her bravery when in front of him. She tries so hard when he's not around. I wanted to show that she can do it when she's facing him.**

**rubzdiamond: Thanks for reviewing! You weren't the only who had been expecting it, which is why I was wondering. I didn't want them to be a couple…it'd ruin the whole Lily thing and the Fred thing…**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I've got a lot planned for her year at Hogwarts. I hope you all enjoy it! I thought it would only be right for her to tell McGonagall everything that she could.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I don't know what to say sometimes either :) I've been looking forward to today as well. Keep reading!**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say what she'll do. All in due time lol. What was awkward about it? Like, the Voldemort part or the McGonagall part or the chapter as a whole?**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! There are times when I don't know what to say either lol. I'm glad you liked the chapter though.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted her to subconsciously call her "mum." She was not expecting the Imperius Curse, so she's never practiced it, which is why she was so susceptible to it, but I wanted her to be as strong as Snape when it comes to the Occlumency. I can't comment on what's going to happen with Voldemort.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Well, it's rated T, so I didn't want to go into detail lol. If she gets pregnant, it will be a normal nine month pregnancy. The only reason she threw up is because she hadn't eaten much, and the thought of what happened kind of got to her. She wasn't throwing up because of a pregnancy; she was throwing up because the thought of Voldemort raping her made her physically sick. She'll definitely have to go back, but for different reasons. I'll explain why he wants the child later. I'll make sure she knows. But you're right, if Voldemort takes that child from her, it's going to kill her:( because she will definitely feel some kind of love for it. It's still her child. Thanks, I didn't feel too much pain; the medicine was strong lol.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're loving my story! I will definitely continue writing it! **

**latitya: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it! I will certainly continue until the very end. I'm enjoying writing it too much to stop! I enjoy proving people wrong lol. I try really hard for that. I can't comment on what will happen to the characters at the end :)**

**madi: Thanks for reviewing! I've got things in store for Fred and Charlotte, so I can't talk too much about them. I don't like to give away spoilers.**

**honking toad: Thanks for the follow!**

**Cullens Darlin: Thanks for the follow!**

**billandsookie: Thanks for the favorite!**

**mdep5: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**TheRavenSlayer13: Thanks for the favorite!**

**writerxpirate: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 77**

Before I have a chance to even look around the sitting room of Snape's house, I hear a loud, "Charlotte!" and Snape's hands are on my shoulders. "Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I've been?"

"You were worried about me, professor?" I laugh, but my smile fades quickly. "It…he…I…" I can't speak, so I just shake my head and close my eyes.

"Charlotte…" he says quietly. "You're going to be okay."

"I don't think so," I whisper. "Not knowing…not when he…not when I…not with that…" I take a shaky breath. "He's…he's ruined me…I…I'm –"

"– going to be fine, I swear to you," he says confidently.

I meet his eyes. "I'm not," I say. "He…I can't live…not knowing…" I lean into his chest and sob. "I can't live knowing that he…I just can't."

"You can," Snape assures me. "You can."

I jerk back and look into his eyes. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I roar. "HE VIOLATED ME! HOW CAN I LIVE KNOWING – how can I live knowing that?"

"You –"

"I can't," I say firmly. "He has this…dominance over me, professor…he has…the same power over me…that I once had over him…"

"It's not as bad as –" But I cut him off by covering his lips with mine. He gently pushes me away. "Stop, Charlotte. You're hurting and desperate. You don't want to do this."

Tears fill my eyes. "I can't have this looming over me!" I shout. "He can't win this!" I wipe some of my tears. "Please." His dark eyes are sorrowful. He doesn't resist me when I reach up and kiss him. Again, I have to force myself not to think that it is Severus Snape whose hands are on me.

* * *

I've been in my room for nearly an hour. Snape and I separated right after he helped me again. I haven't left since my shower. At least now I feel this sense of defiance and power over Voldemort. It's something he'll never know about, and that's what makes me enjoy the thought so much more. I look over beside my bed and see an unopened letter from McGonagall. It is the one I never read when I was in dire need of knowing who was injured in the Battle of the Seven Potters. I can't believe I forgot to read it after all this time.

I reach over and pick it up.

_Dear Charlotte,_

_ I am pleased to hear about you getting your wand back. I can rest much easier knowing that you have some defense against Snape. If you must use it against him, do not think twice about it. I doubt if anyone will hold it against you; I know I will not._

_ If no one knows about Raven, you might want to keep it that way. There is no way of knowing how they will take it, but if they think you are contacting Order members or others, they will not hesitate to kill her, I am sure of it. Keep her safe, as well as yourself. As for your questions on her behavior, this is only the second time I've used her as a post owl, but she is certainly an obedient creature, very easy to use._

_ I have never believed in Divination, for obvious reasons that you know by now. That particular subject typically declares a dreadful death all too often. And although you are drowning in your dream, I do not believe it means you are dying. I believe your mind is telling you that you are overwhelmed, and seeing as you're facing so much, there is no question as to why you are overwhelmed. If you need to speak about it, I'll be here to help you._

_ From my understanding, both Tonks and Lupin made back alive, but I will be sure to tell them why Bellatrix hunted them so vigorously._

_Sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall_

I don't know what to say back to her at the moment, so I simply put the letter aside and lie back down. But I'm forced to sit up again when I hear a knock at the door. Snape makes things awkward. I really wish he'd just burst into the room like I do to his office. "Come in!" I call.

The professor enters. "We need to talk…again," he says. Then he turns and leaves the room. I get up and follow him. We both take our normal seats in the sitting room. "We can't keep doing this and putting it 'behind us.' It's not right."

"That's a good thing," I say.

He gives me an odd look. "What?"

"I want to keep this power over him," I reply. "And for that, this can't be put behind us again."

"What?" he asks again.

"If I didn't get pregnant, he will no doubt continue trying," I state. "And I need this power over him to continue living my life."

"What are you saying?"

"I think you know, professor," I say. "I cannot be sent to him without this power and this knowledge, and I cannot come back from him without regaining my power over him." I meet his eyes. "I need your help. And I will need your help until Voldemort is destroyed."

Snape's face drops. "How –"

"You know what I'm asking," I say. "And you're the only person who can help me." I swallow down my slight fear. "Please, professor."

He looks away from me. "Why me?" he asks. "You know I can't…Lily…"

"But that's why you have to," I say quietly. "She gave her life to protect Harry, trying to destroy Voldemort. She wouldn't want him to have any more power than he already has, would she? She would want him to be stifled in any way possible. If this is the only way I can give my contribution, you should be willing to help me. Do it in her name, professor, because she wouldn't want Voldemort to win this. She wouldn't, not after she gave her life to stop him."

His black eyes meet my blue eyes. "I can't," he repeats.

"You have to, professor," I say. "Please."

He looks away from me for a few minutes. "Don't call me 'professor,'" he softly replies a while later.

"What? Why not?"

"If…if I am going to…to help you…you cannot call me 'professor,' unless it is a place where it is absolutely necessary. It wouldn't feel right," he says quietly.

"What would you have me call you?" I answer. "'Your majesty'?"

He smirks. "As fitting as that is," he replies, offering me his hand, "Severus Snape."

I take it. "Aurelia Lestrange, a.k.a. 'Charlotte Rodgers,'" I shake his hand.

* * *

A few hours later, we're sitting in his kitchen, eating the food that the woman across the street made for herself and her husband. We haven't really spoken since our agreement earlier. I went back to my room and just kind of lied down on my bed for a while. Things are silent between me and Snape – Severus, as he now wants me to call him. I guess I don't mind. I wouldn't want to think about me calling him "professor" and then sleeping with him before and after I go to Voldemort

Life just got that much more complicated.

Snape – Severus – clears his throat. "The Dark Lord came to speak with me after your mother and your aunt took you away," he says.

"Why are you just now telling me this?" I reply.

"You ran off before I had a chance to tell you," he answers. "But I'm telling you now." I nod. "He knows you've been with someone before."

I can feel the color drain from my face. "What?" I whisper. "What did he say?"

"I convinced him that you were abused while at the orphanage," he says.

"And he believed that?"

"I'm a master of Occlumency, so yes. And he isn't happy with you knowing Occlumency. You told him Professor Dumbledore taught you?"

I smile. "Yes, and it felt great to lie to him."

"I'm proud of you, Charlotte," he says. "I was worried about you trying to apply Occlumency against him." He smirks. "I guess that shows just how great of a teacher I am."

"I think it has more to do with how wonderful of a pupil I am," I reply.

I tap on the table. "But, um…there is one thing…that I want to know…if you can teach me…"

He sets his plate aside. "And what might that be?"

I bite my quivering lip. "How to…um, how to…fight off…the Imperius Curse…"

He freezes. "Charlotte," he says quietly, "is…is that how…?"

I nod, tears forming in my eyes. "Could…could you teach me? You…you were the…the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher…if…if anyone can…I thought it'd be you."

Snape – Severus – looks at me sadly. "I –" he stops and grabs his left arm. "We're being summoned." With that, he Disapparates, and I follow his lead, only hoping I am supposed to be going to Malfoy Manor.

"The Ministry has fallen! Scrimgeour is dead!" I hear someone shout.

The Death Eaters all rejoice loudly, hooting and shouting their victory, until Voldemort simply puts his hand up in a command for silence. "I believe there is a wedding reception that needs to be disbanded," he says softly. He points a long finger at a man, "Rowle, bring Harry Potter to me."

The room is filled with loud popping sounds as the Death Eaters race to go destroy Bill Weasley's wedding. Then it hits me: Fred. Fred is there. He could be in danger. No one notices me. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to be here. Snape could very well have said "we" to mean the Death Eaters. He didn't say anything about me following him.

I have to save Fred.

I Disapparate from Malfoy Manor. Surely the wedding took place at the Burrow. I should have stayed to find out. But when I reach the Burrow, I no longer doubt my choice to come here. People are scrambling; perhaps they got some kind of warning. It would be too risky if the Death Eaters saw me. I use the Disillusionment Charm and rush forward, just in time to see the Golden Trio disappear. This makes me smile. Voldemort has not won this yet.

Many members of the Order are here, already brandishing their wands and attacking the Death Eaters. I throw a shield around Ginny, as someone tries to attack her, and move on my way. Harry will never know how many times I've saved the love of his life.

But where is mine? Where is Fred? There he is! He's fighting beside George. I raise my wand and begin firing off spells at any Death Eater I see. But there are too many of them. The tent, under which the reception was taking place, is on fire in many places. I look back to Tonks and Lupin. Both are hopelessly outmanned by the Death Eaters. Before I attempt to help them, I am distracted by Fred being hit with a spell and knocked to the ground. I run forward, about to reach out to him, when George is hit and nearly falls on top of me. "Fred," I whisper. "Fred." I put my hands on his face. He's not dead; my heart starts beating again.

Turning to help Tonks and Lupin, I see each of them being taken down by the Death Eaters. I can't do this. I'll be caught if I continue trying to help. The Death Eaters attacking will surely notice spells being fired from thin air. "Forgive me," I say quietly.

"He might have gone to the homes of the other Order members!" Rowle shouts. This man is in for deep trouble when he returns to Voldemort without Harry. Some of the Dark wizards begin Disapparating from the Burrow. I swallow down my guilt as I look back at the Weasleys and Tonks and Lupin. They'll all be interrogated until this man finds Harry, but I can do nothing to save them. I glance at Tonks. There is something I can do to help, though. So I Disapparate.

I have only been to the home of the Tonks family once, but I know where it is. And that's where I'm headed. It's no secret the Tonkses are sympathetic to the Order of the Phoenix. I stop outside their home. The Disillusionment Charm is still on me, and I run forward.

The front door has been destroyed, and I go straight in.

"_Crucio!" _ I hear, followed by a wail of agony that sends shivers down my spine. But that's not what breaks my heart. The sound of Ted Tonks shouting for them to show mercy on his wife tears at me.

"Please!" he cries. "We don't know where he is!"

Andromeda continues screaming. I follow the painful shrieks. The four of them – two Death Eaters and my aunt and uncle – are in the dining room. Ted and Andromeda were probably merely enjoying a nice dinner when they were disrupted by Voldemort's disciples. Not thinking of any sort of consequence, I point my wand at the man in control of the Cruciatus Curse and find myself smiling. Avery. This should be fun.

"_Impedimenta!"_ I shout at him. He's thrown against the wall. Andromeda's screaming ceases. I point my wand at the other Death Eater, but I don't have time to Stun him before he Disapparates. I take a few more steps to Avery. "_Crucio!"_

Neither of my family members move or say a word until I release the curse. Once I do, Avery Disapparates as well. Then I lift the charm off of myself. "Are you okay?" I ask them quietly.

"Charlotte?" Ted asks.

I nod. "Are you all right?"

He stands and goes to Andromeda, whom he then helps up as well. "We're…we're fine," my aunt says.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

They nod, but before I can Disapparate (it's like they can read my thoughts), Ted asks, "Where is Dora?"

"With the Weasleys," I say. "I don't know what's going on there."

Andromeda steps forward and takes me into her arms. "Thank you," she whispers.

"Anytime," I say.

She pulls back but keeps a firm grip on my arms. Her eyes are sorrowful. "Has…has it happened?"

Tears fill my eyes. "I can't talk about it," I croak.

She hugs me tightly again. "Be safe," she says.

I nod and Disapparate back to the Burrow. I put the Disillusionment Charm back on myself and rush toward the burnt tent. No one is there. Lights come from the house itself, and I go there. It's dark out now, and it makes me nervous. I don't like being blind to what is around me.

Without a care as to who might be interrogating the Weasleys, I throw the door open. It's just the Weasleys, Tonks, and Lupin, but Fred isn't in the room. My heart sinks.

The Death Eaters must have left already. Everyone left behind seems pretty shaken. Before I can make a move, I am slammed backward and rammed into the wall. "Holy geez, what are you doing?" I ask, removing the charm.

"Charlotte?" Tonks asks, lowering her wand. "I didn't realize…"

I pull myself to my feet. "Don't worry about it."

"Where did you come from?" Mrs. Weasley asks, coming toward me with a motherly expression, no doubt trying to see if I'm all right.

"Malfoy Manor, then here, but there was nothing I could do without them finding out and telling Voldemort," I say. "So I went to make sure Ted and Andromeda were fine."

"And?" Tonks asks anxiously.

"There were some Death Eaters there, but they're gone now. Your parents are still worried about you," I reply. Lupin takes her by the hand, and they Disapparate together. "Is everyone all right?" I ask Mrs. Weasley.

"Yes," she answers. "And you?"

"I've been better," I say.

"Charlotte," George says, coming toward me with a smile.

"Why don't you come sit down, dear," Mrs. Weasley suggests.

"I can't stay. He'll begin to suspect something," I reply.

"Snape or You-Know-Who?" Ginny asks from her place on the sofa, held securely by Mr. Weasley.

"Both," I say.

"Have you gotten revenge for me yet?" George asks, pointing at his missing ear.

"Three times," I say. "He doesn't remember any of them though. So you could still avenge yourself if you'd like."

He smiles. "Good."

Mrs. Weasley puts her hands on my shoulders. "Are you okay?" she asks quietly.

"It hasn't been the best day, honestly," I reply. "I spent most of morning with Professor McGonagall, talking about…well, you know…"

There is movement by one of the doors. "When…when did…?" she asks.

"Yesterday," I say.

My eyes move over to Fred, who is standing in the doorway. His face turns red, as does mine, and he quickly leaves. I force back my stinging tears. "It'll be okay," she says firmly.

"Yeah," I whisper. "But I have to go. I wanted to make sure all of you were fine."

She nods, and I leave as fast as I can, going back to Spinner's End.

* * *

**Your opinion on the agreement between Snape and Charlotte?**

**Were you expecting the agreement?**

**Do you think Fred will ever get over himself?**

**Review!**


	78. Chapter 78

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! It's going to be strange for the two of them, no doubt. But I have things in mind for them lol. I also have things in mind for Charlotte and Fred.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I can't comment on what will happen between Charlotte and Fred. There's too much in store for them for me to spoil anything. I hope no one ever finds out about the agreement, but you never can tell ;) I'm glad you were caught off guard by the agreement. I tried to catch people off guard lol. I'll definitely keep writing! Keep reading!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! A very strong bond will form between them, but I do not intend on ever having them fall in love. Snape loves Lily, and Charlotte loves Fred.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I was hoping I went about it in a way that would make sense. I wanted people to see it the way Charlotte would. You are exactly right as to why I have them being on a first name basis now. I love catching people by surprise:). I can't say what will happen with Fred…**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's sad that you don't think Fred will ever get over it :( But I won't say if you're wrong or not. Keep reading!**

**xXDanceAllNightXx: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say if anything will ever happen between Fred and Charlotte. I can't wait for the next chapter either! Lol**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it would be good in a weird sort of way lol. To ease your mind (1) I will never interfere with Snape's love for Lily. I enjoy that aspect of Harry Potter far too much to tamper with it. (2) To help her stay sane is exactly the reason why I had them make the agreement. (3) I wanted Snape to be able to help like McGonagall can. (4) They won't fall in love. They'll have a strong bond and all, but I'm against them being in love lol. Don't worry about that. I can't comment on Fred. I have a lot in store for them.**

**madi: Thanks for reviewing! I hope Fred will get over it too, but I can't say if he will or not. I don't like to give away spoilers. But they do still love each other, and he is being stupid.**

**Emilyyeah: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad you love my story! That's why I write it! You're the first person to say that you want her to have Voldemort's child. So I can't help but wonder why. If you don't mind reviewing and telling me? I want her to be with Fred too:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 78**

I simply slide to the floor of Snape's sitting room. I had been fifteen feet – _fifteen feet_ – from Fred, yet he still didn't speak to me. I…I was right there. Just a few more steps and I could have been in his arms…I could have been sheltered in his arms…I could have been comforted by him.

But no.

He turned around and left me standing there. And who gave him the right to flush red? I should be the one embarrassed, not him. I was the one raped and violated by Voldemort, not him. Who on God's green earth gave _him_ the right to be humiliated by this at all?

Tears flood my eyes, tears of anger and tears of pain. I don't understand. I've tried everything to make him see how I awful I feel. Why can't he see that? Even Snape understands, so why can't Fred? For the most part, his whole family understands. So I cannot grasp the fact that he won't forgive me. It's not like I asked for this to happen me.

I hide my face in my knees and let the tears flow freely. After all he's put me through, why can't I move on?

There is a quiet _pop! _ Snape – Severus – must be back. "Charlotte?" he asks. Yep, he's here.

I look up at him. "Pr –" his dark gaze stops me, "Can I help you?"

"Where did you go?" he replies. "I didn't see you at the manor."

"I left here right after you, but I went to the Burrow when I heard the news…you know, 'cause Fred was there. I wanted to save him, but there were too many Death Eaters attacking. I would have been caught. Harry escaped, and Rowle sent the others searching the other Order members. So I went to Tonks's parents' place, just trying to make sure Ted and Andromeda were fine."

"Were they?" he asks quietly.

"There were some people interrogating them with the Cruciatus Curse, but I was able to stop them."

He walks over to me. "So what are you doing on the floor?"

I can't keep the bitterness from my voice when I say, "Torturing myself with thoughts of how things could have gone differently had Fred simply acknowledged the fact that I was in the room."

Snape is silent.

"That's the only reason," I say a few minutes later.

"Potter was not found," he replies.

"I already know that. Your point?" I ask.

"Rowle was punished," Snape answers.

"How is that supposed to make me feel any better about anything?" I growl.

He sighs. "It's not, but I thought you should know that the Dark Lord forced Draco to do the punishing."

My head jerks up. "What?"

"He needs someone right now," Snape continues. "The two of you have been there for each other throughout most of this. I thought you'd want to know. You're free to go to Malfoy Manor. If I were you, I believe I would start by checking his room first."

I nod and Disapparate, making sure to go to Draco's room. If I don't have to see Voldemort, I'd rather not.

Draco is clutching onto his bed frame, looking rather ill. Even in this dim light, I can see him trembling. "Draco," I say quietly.

He flinches violently before turning to see me. "Charlotte," he whispers, collapsing onto the floor in tears. I rush forward and drop down beside him. Before I can say a word, he has buried his face into my shoulder and is quietly sobbing.

Taking his hand in mine, I ask, "What happened?"

"I…I had to…the Cruciatus Curse..."

"Draco," I say softly. "It's going to be all right."

He forces himself to sit up and lean against the bed frame beside me, but he doesn't release my hand. "I guess I haven't much of a reason to be so upset, do I?" he asks softly. His eyes meet mine. "I'm…I'm so sorry…I shouldn't…I shouldn't be acting like this…not when…you know…what you have to go through…"

I pull our hands into my lap and cover them with my other hand. "But I've been dealing with this stuff for seven years, Draco. You just recently got thrown into the Death Eater scene."

He half-smiles. "I still have no reason or right to complain to you."

"Sure you do," I reply. "Who else will listen?"

His face fills with sorrow. "No one," he whispers, almost inaudibly.

"Then you can come to me," I say firmly.

He has to look away from me.

"Will you be at Hogwarts this year?" I ask.

"It's going to be required for all witches and wizards to attend Hogwarts," he says. "The Dark Lord wants to infect their minds at a young age. But I don't know if this applies to me..." My cousin looks back at me. "I don't know if he'll want me there. He might have other plans for me…" his throat makes an odd noise, like he tried to say something but couldn't. "Will you be at Hogwarts?"

I smile. "Yeah, the Dark Lord wants Snape to keep an eye on me. Apparently he fears I might try to run…" I shrug sarcastically. "I don't know why he would ever fear that."

"There's more to Snape than meets the eye, isn't there?" he asks abruptly.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Well, for sixteen years he's worked at Hogwarts," Draco replies. "Dumbledore openly trusted him; then Snape goes and kills the man who kept him out of Azkaban. Something doesn't add up, does it?"

I grimace. "He's still an evil git."

Draco smiles.

We're quiet after that, sitting in his room with our hands still locked together. I can't imagine what it must have been like for Draco to Cruciate someone. I've done it before, even enjoyed it before, but Draco and I are different, no matter how similar our situations. He's never been the purely evil type, whereas I've done enough evil in my life to not feel overly bad about it anymore.

"This isn't going to end well for you, is it?" he asks.

I look at him, and his face turns red. He looks away, almost like hoping he can take back what he's just said. "What?" I ask.

"I didn't…I didn't mean it like that…" he stammers. "It…I just meant…you know…when people find out…"

"I'm working on that," I say. "I believe Harry will be able to destroy the Dark Lord. Dumbledore expressed to me that Harry only needed time. I think he'll be able to kill him once and for all."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I have to," I reply. "It's my silver lining."

"And…if you have…if you have the child before that… What then?"

"I'm working on that too," I say. "When I figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know."

His face becomes serious. "If, when it's all said and done, you find yourself in need of a way to go into hiding, I will help you."

"I don't doubt that you will."

I leave shortly after this and go back to Spinner's End.

* * *

"'_Muggle-born Register,'" _I read quietly to myself. I can feel Severus's eyes on me, but I don't care. I know he just wants to see my reaction to this. "'_The Ministry of Magic is undertaking a survey of so-called "Muggle-borns," the better to understand how they came to possess magical secrets._

"'_Recent research undertaken by the Department of Mysteries reveals that magic can only be passed from person to person when Wizards reproduce. Where no proven Wizarding ancestry exists, therefore, the so-called Muggle-born is likely to have obtained magical power by theft or force._

"'_The Ministry is determined to root out such usurpers of magical power, and to this end has issued an invitation to every so-called Muggle-born to present themselves for interview by the newly appointed Muggle-born Registration Commission.'" _

"This can't be real," I mumble.

"I'm afraid it is," Severus replies. "The Ministry is rounding up Muggle-borns at this very moment. But I'm afraid the Ministry is not overly concerned with how said Muggle-borns got their magic as much as they are concerned with eradicating the Wizarding world of these 'thiefs.'"

"And the Muggle-borns that are required to attend Hogwarts," I say. "What is going to happen to them?" He can't answer, but I can tell by his solemn face that those poor eleven-year-old Muggle-borns will never see Hogwarts, and possibly never see their families again. "And Hermione, what will happen to her? And Ted Tonks?"

"Seeing as Miss Granger is travelling with Potter, Undesirable Number One of the Ministry, I don't think you should be worrying about her blood status," he says. "As for Ted Tonks…" he shakes his head.

I catch his eye, and he gives me slight nod. Then I'm gone.

Next thing I know, my feet are hitting the ground outside the house of the Tonks family as I run to the door, which has been repaired since my last visit. I knock on it, and it only takes a second for Andromeda to answer. "Charlotte?" she asks.

"I just found out…the Muggle-born Registration Act," I say quietly, following my aunt into the house. Tonks and Lupin are both here.

"Charlotte," Tonks greets me.

"Tonks," I reply. My eyes jerk to Lupin, who is fuming about something, but there is no way for me to know what has happened. Because I can't ask what I want to ask, I stick with, "Are all of you okay?"

"For now, yes," Andromeda answers. "Does anyone know you're here?"

I smile. "No, Snape doesn't usually make any kind of contact with me unless forced to by the Dark Lord."

"So it's true then?" Tonks asks. "You're staying with him? Has he said anything about…about Dumbledore?"

"He seems virtually unfazed. My guess is it's easier for him now that he doesn't have to put up a front any longer," I say. I look to my aunt. "Ted…he isn't going to register, is he? I overheard some of the Death Eaters. The Registration Act is just a way to round up the Muggle-borns for slaughter, to take back the magic that they 'stole.'"

"Ted won't register on principle," his wife answers.

"Where is he now?" I ask.

"He's preparing for when he will have to leave – it's only a matter of time," Andromeda says. Tears fill her eyes. She has to look away from me.

"Will you be at Hogwarts this coming year?" Tonks asks me.

I nod. "The Dark Lord doesn't trust me being on my own. He has commissioned Snape to keep an eye on me."

"He's doing a fantastic job of it," she says dryly.

"My thoughts exactly," I reply.

Tonks looks over at Lupin sadly, then to me. "Have you heard the news?" she asks. Andromeda smiles.

"What?" I ask.

"Remus and I…we're going to have a baby!" she exclaims.

"That's great!" I say, going to hug her. Lupin looks as if this news is the opposite of "great." He walks out of the room.

"Have you heard from Harry, Ron, or Hermione?" I ask quietly, wanting, but refusing, to ask about Lupin's behavior.

"Remus just got back from speaking with them," Tonks says.

"Did it not go well?"

"I don't know. He's…he's worried that he's passed his condition onto the baby," she says.

"And it would be fine if he had," Ted says, now entering the room. "We would treat neither of them any differently." He smiles at me. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Charlotte."

"Likewise," I say.

"How are you, Charlotte?" Tonks asks. "I spoke with Molly."

Heat flushes my face. "It's been a struggle," I admit. "But I've managed to get through it."

"Professor McGonagall says you told her Bellatrix was trying so passionately to kill Remus and me because of our marriage," Tonks says.

"Yeah, the Dark Lord humiliated the Malfoys and Bellatrix about it during the meeting right prior to the Order moving Harry to the safe house. That's when she decided to 'prune the family tree' in order to 'make it healthy again.'"

"And people wonder why I turned against the Black family," Andromeda comments.

"I certainly don't blame you," I say.

Andromeda smiles sadly. "I'm guessing my wonderful sisters are trying their best to 'help' you through this, aren't they?"

"Narcissa is sympathetic, feels bad for me. Bellatrix, on the other hand, truly believes that this is the greatest honor anyone could have ever been given. So…there's that," I answer. My eyes drift to my feet. "But I don't like to think about it much. Besides, I should probably head back. If Snape happens to come searching for me, it would not be wise to be missing."

Tonks smiles at me. "If you need anything –"

"Anything at all," Andromeda adds.

"Don't hesitate to come to us," my cousin finishes.

"Will do," I say. I bid them all a goodbye then Apparate back to Spinner's End.

"How'd it go?" Severus asks before I gain my bearings.

"They all hate you," I say pointedly.

"Good."

I smirk. "And have I told you that George wants revenge?" I ask.

"I would expect nothing less."

I can't speak after that though, and he doesn't try to stop me when I retire to my room. I think it's about time that I reply to Professor McGonagall, so I sit down and begin my letter.

* * *

As August wears on, I am allowed less and less freedoms. Apparently the Dark Lord does not trust me to stay at Spinner's End without trying to escape. _Snape_ tried explaining to me that it wasn't his idea to put up all the jinxes and protective spells around the place, but I gave him grief either way and have made it a point not to speak with him for the past two weeks.

I never got my letter back from McGonagall. For a brief moment, I saw Raven flying toward the house, but she was stopped. After nearly an hour of trying to get to the house, she turned around and flew back. Part of me hopes she went to McGonagall, and part of me does not. The professor will certainly think something is wrong if Raven returned with her letter, not one from me.

We're reaching the end of August now, and I find myself becoming ill with despair and nerves. Voldemort is displeased with me for not conceiving his child (somehow it's my fault now) and is requiring another meeting with him. This is another reason I'm not speaking to _Snape_. He told me this_ after_ he put up all of the protective spells. Now not only am I going to be sent back to Voldemort, but I won't even be able to go speak with McGonagall about it, or even let her know. I was sorely tempted to attack the headmaster because of this.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'm becoming too compassionate. This time last year, I would not have thought twice before hitting him with the Cruciatus Curse then wiping his memory of it.

Bloody conscience…

I look over at him sitting in his armchair and reading the _Daily Prophet_. The front of the page has a bold headline saying, "SEVERUS SNAPE CONFIRMED AS HOGWARTS HEADMASTER." I bite my lip. I want to ask what the article says, and I know this is the reason he's holding the paper up like that. He wants to break my willpower and make me speak to him. I sigh. This wasn't going to last much longer anyway, I suppose. "What does the article say?" I ask.

I can almost see the smirk on his face through the paper, but he doesn't reply.

So the tables have turned…

"Okay, professor," I huff. "You win. It's not your fault the spells are up. Happy? What does the article say about you becoming headmaster? What's being said? I need to know in case I'm asked about it, don't you think?"

He's still quiet.

"Professor Snape," I say.

He doesn't acknowledge me.

If he wants to play this game, then so be it. He can't see me; the newspaper is blocking his view. I quietly stand up and creep over to him. When I'm within arm's reach, I snatch the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ out of his hands and smirk. Before I even have the chance to read a single line, it goes up in flames. I glower at him. "I hate you," I say.

"Good."

This is all he has to say? It's been nearly two weeks since we've spoken, and this is all he has to say? "What was said in the article, professor?"

His brow creases.

I huff at him again. "Fine." I think I know why he is being so difficult. "What was said in the article, Severus?" He has to force me to call him by his first name. It is a habit not to, but he firmly believes it is wrong for me to call him "professor" when I'm sleeping with him to keep my sanity. I can't say I blame him. The more I think about it, the more I am grateful that he keeps reminding me to call him "Severus."

He finally answers, "All that was said is that I am headmaster and that the Carrows are taking over the teaching posts of Muggle Studies and Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Did they say anything about Charity Burbage?"

"Only that she resigned," he replies.

"How convenient."

"That is how the Ministry works, especially while influenced by the Dark Lord."

"It's always been like that," I comment.

"Indeed."

* * *

**Do you think Charlotte will ever be able "to go into hiding"? Will Draco actually help her if she gets the opportunity to escape?**

**With how much Severus and Charlotte bicker, do you think the arrangement will last?**

**Review!**


	79. Chapter 79

**Ellen: Thanks for reviewing! I can't wait for the next chapter either!**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I don't blame for you being concerned about the characters whose fates are unknown lol. It's logical. You haven't seen the last of Raven.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! The problem with going on the run at the moment is that Severus would be held accountable and would be punished, possibly killed, especially since Voldemort is at the stage where he is trying to make her have the child. Draco would definitely do his best to help. As for Snape being a prisoner, it's kind of like how Dumbledore could Apparate inside Hogwarts. So Snape can leave as he pleases.**

**Madi: Thanks for reviewing! I've got some plans for Charlotte and the Weasleys and Charlotte and Ted and Andromeda, but I can't say what that is lol. Sorry. Draco will help the best he can. I'm planning on the arrangement lasting.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I know what you mean about Draco helping Charlotte. He'll do his best because they've been there for each other this whole time. I think you're right about Snape and Charlotte's arrangement. You perfectly described their relationship lol.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Draco will definitely do his best to help Charlotte. I have things in mind concerning the arrangement. Only time will tell what that is though :)**

**Samuel Le Flame: Thanks for reviewing! But it's good for her to know that if she ever does, people will help her. But for the time, Hogwarts is definitely safer for her. I believe the arrangement will last as well, because they're too close for an argument to destroy their complicated relationship. **

**julien Hector: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you're still reading! I thought it was gross to, but it had to happen…**

**BlueWater5: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 79**

I'm only half-conscious when Bellatrix rushes into the room. "Aurelia," she says. "Come with me." She grabs me by the arms and pulls me with her.

"Where're we going?" I mutter.

"The Dark Lord has asked me to escort you back to Spinner's End. He doesn't want you running off," she answers. Her grip on me tightens. "Where did you go last time?"

"McGonagall," I say before realizing what I'm doing.

"The Head of Gryffindor House at Hogwarts?" Bellatrix asks, obviously angry.

I swallow. "No, the other one…" I try.

"Why her?" she asks as she continues herding me through the manor.

The words find their way out of my mouth before I can stop them, "I'm like her daughter, and she my mother."

We stop moving altogether. What have I just done? What is wrong with me? I close my eyes and take a deep breath, willing myself to pull it together. "What?" Bellatrix hisses.

Think…think…, I tell myself. What can I possibly say here to deter what I've just said? "I…I went to Professor McGonagall…because…she offers the sympathy that I need for this," I say. "It's an honor, Mum, to be able to have the Dark Lord's heir," I wonder if she even registers that I'm lying, "but it's a difficult task. I didn't want to be a nuisance to you with my petty need for sympathy…"

Her face displays how her mind is scrambling to detect false sincerity in my voice. After a few moments, she smiles at me and pulls me into her embrace. "Aurelia," she says, "you mustn't ever worry about a nuisance to me." We separate. "But don't ever go to her again. She cannot be trusted. She's a Gryffindor, she's against the Dark Lord." I nod at her, knowing that I will go to McGonagall no matter what my mother says. "Now come on." We enter the drawing room. Narcissa stands to her feet and nods. Bellatrix Disapparates with me.

I need to calm down and take a breath. What is going on? I close my eyes and let Bellatrix pull me along. It is the last day of the month, or is it the first day of September now? I don't know. Either way, it is all coming back to me. I have just been released from Voldemort. He had left the room, and my mother had come in to take me to wherever she is taking me – right, she said Spinner's End. What did he do to me? Other than forcing himself upon me, of course. Why am I struggling to conjure up a solid thought? Is this some effect of the Imperius Curse?

I am pulled from my thoughts when I stumble due to my mother ushering me through the streets of Spinner's End. She slows just a tad and helps me stable myself. We continue running until we reach Severus's door. She knocks frantically and quickly pushes me inside before there is an answer. "Snape!" she calls.

He looks up from his sitting chair impatiently. "Bellatrix, what are you doing here?" he asks.

"The Dark Lord requested of me to return my daughter to you," she replies.

"And I believe no one else is supposed to know about that," he says.

"And yet somehow you know," she answers.

"Will that be all?" Severus stands and comes toward us. "If you are here to return her, return her and leave."

My mother snarls at him, gives me a hug, and leaves as he commanded.

I look at him with watering eyes. "You have to teach me to resist the Imperius Curse," I whisper.

"We'll work on that later," he says.

Then I realize that he is right. I don't want to work on resisting the curse until we've fulfilled our agreement so I can take back my power over Voldemort.

* * *

We're leaving for Hogwarts today, which gives me a month of being away from Voldemort, away from the real world. I've been told, by a teary Narcissa, that until I conceive Voldemort's child, he will call upon me the last weekend of each month. I'll have to leave Hogwarts. I don't like that thought. People will notice; rumors will spread. It won't be good.

I've opted to ride the Hogwarts Express to the school this time rather than travel with Severus. It's my last year of attending, and I want to go out like the rest of the students. Or at least, the students that are returning, as I suspect the Golden Trio will not. I enter a compartment with my four first – no, they're second-years now – friends. I can't believe they're second-years. That kind of makes me sad.

The first one to see me is Christopher, and his face cracks into a wide smile. "Charlotte!" he rejoices. He runs into my arms. "It's been so long!" The others each give me a hug as well. Then Christopher grabs my arm and pulls me down beside him. "How were your holidays?"

"Long," I say. "I didn't think they were going to end. Yours?"

"About the same," he replies.

"What a shame," I say sadly. "I was hoping to live vicariously through at least one of you." I catch Jacob's eye. "What did you do?"

"My parents planned on taking me to Japan, but after the headmaster's death, they cancelled," he sighs.

"Well, both of you are rather boring." I smile at them before moving onto Emma. "What about you?"

"I spent the holidays with my grandparents in the country," she says proudly.

I know what the country is like. I spent a few months hiding in some country areas. I had loved it. "Sounds great," I say. I'm about to ask Julia what she did, but I stop. She's almost in tears. "Julia? What's wrong?"

Her mouth opens a few times, but closes right after each time. I wait patiently, as the others do, until finally she whispers, almost too quiet for me to hear, "I shouldn't be in Slytherin."

"What?" I laugh. "That's nothing to be upset about. I feel the same way sometimes."

She shakes her head. "You don't understand."

I lean forward so she knows I'm listening intently. "Help me understand, then. What's wrong?"

"They're going to take me away from my family," she whispers. I'm speechless, but luckily she continues a moment later so I don't have to say anything. "The Muggle-born Registration Commission," she wipes her tears. "I'm a Muggle-born, but…"

"How are you in Slytherin?" I ask quietly.

"I…I asked the Hat to put me in there… It warned me against it, tried putting me into Ravenclaw. But I begged it…I wanted to by a Slytherin…"

I move out of my seat and crawl onto my knees in front of her, taking her hands in mine. "Why would you want to be a Slytherin?" Her face flushes bright red, almost as red as her hair. She shakes her head, obviously embarrassed. "You can tell me." She just shakes her head again, making it a point not to look at any of the others.

"It was a mistake!" she weeps.

"You have friends in Slytherin now," I say to her. "It wasn't a mistake."

"I'm a 'Mudblood,' Charlotte!" she cries. "You don't think I know what's going to happen to witches and wizards of my blood status?"

"Have you already registered?" I ask her quietly.

"No, my parents don't know what's going on," she says.

I put my hand under her chin and lift her face to meet her gray eyes. "Then you're going to be fine," I assure her. I answer the question she doesn't know how to ask, "I'll vouch for you. You're now my cousin, and you're going to be fine."

"Charlotte, what if you get caught?" she asks.

I squeeze her hand. "I won't. You'll be perfectly fine. If I vouch for you, there is no one who will go against me."

"What makes you say that?"

"You just have to trust me."

She nods. I turn my head and silently motion for Christopher to move over. Then I pull Julia into the seat beside me, never letting go of her hand.

"So, you don't get along well with Snape," Christopher says, "how do you think it will work out with him being the headmaster? Do you think you'll be in trouble a lot?"

"I certainly hope not," I reply. "Professor McGonagall is no longer in charge of discipline. I'm afraid that the two people who have taken over that position will be tougher in their acts of punishment."

"Why do you think that?" Jacob asks.

"I've met them. They're awful," I answer.

For the first time in my three years of education at Hogwarts, I ride in the carriage pulled by thestrals up to the castle. Julia does not seem completely comforted by my words earlier, but she has certainly calmed down a bit. Our carriage is behind that of Pansy, Milicent Bulstrode, Daphne Greengrass, and Tracey Davis. Behind us come Neville, Ginny, Luna Lovegood, and Seamus Finnigan. I can't help but wonder where Dean Thomas is.

"It's going to be a rough year, isn't it?" Jacob asks softly.

"That's my fear," I admit.

Our carriage lurches forward and carries us toward the castle. I look back at the Hogwarts Express as it fades in the distance. Something tells me I won't be riding on it again. I look back up to Hogwarts, the one place I've always been safe. And Voldemort is about to ruin that.

I walk alongside the second-years into the Great Hall. It feels odd to walk in and see McGonagall sitting at the staff table. It's even weirder to have Severus sitting in the headmaster's chair. A hole overtakes my heart. I cannot even imagine what he must be going through. I don't think I could do it. In fact, I know I could not do it. I could not sit in the chair of an old friend who forced me to kill him.

McGonagall wears a blank expression as the students take their seats at the appropriate tables. When everyone is in the Hall, a long line of first-years walks to the front of the room. Alecto Carrow carries the Sorting Hat and a stool. She places the stool down and sets the Hat on top of the seat. She takes out a long list and begins calling out names.

I nearly flinch each time the Hat calls out, "Slytherin!"

Then, it's all over. Every last child has been Sorted. The Feast begins. I don't know what to do. Nothing feels right anymore.

Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts without Dumbledore. Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts without McGonagall calling out the names of all the first-years. Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts without Severus sitting where Slughorn now sits, looking over his House. Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts anymore. And I just don't know what to do.

After the meal, Severus stands from the headmaster's throne-like seat and goes to the podium. I'm rather dreading what he's about to say. Silence seizes the students. "Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he begins. "As a school, we have experienced tragedy. All of you are aware, I am sure, that our headmaster of forty-one years is no longer with us." I glance at Ginny and Neville, both of whom share the same look of hatred toward Severus. They must know what is presumed to be the truth of Dumbledore's death.

"As the new headmaster, I welcome the opportunity to uphold our finest Wizarding traditions and values," Severus continues. "And as such, changes are being made here at our fine school. Amycus Carrow will take over the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, while his sister, Alecto Carrow, will be the new Muggle Studies professor – a subject now required for each and every student." There are murmurs of complaints, but none loud enough to draw much attention from the headmaster. "Our new staff members will be in charge of the disciplinary actions as well.

"Things will be different this year." He seems oblivious to the glares he is receiving from the students and the apathetic looks on the faces of the other professors. "We as the Wizarding population will raise a new generation of worthy witches and wizards who will lead the future. Out of the ashes of despair, a new and better life is waiting for the Wizarding world." I meet his eyes, and I can almost hear him saying, "Pip pip!" as Dumbledore had said. But he does not, because that would ruin his whole reign of terror thing he is setting up right now.

"Effective immediately, Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four will be reinstated," his black eyes sweep over the utterly silent students. "This simply means that all student organizations, societies, teams, groups, and clubs are henceforth disbanded. Any student found to have formed, or to belong to, an organization, society, team, group, or club that has not been approved by the Deputy Heads – Professors Amycus Carrow and Alecto Carrow – will be expelled."

More murmurings against Severus commence. He still pays them no attention. "Now, off to your dormitories. Classes start tomorrow."

I get up with the second-years. "I guess this means you can no longer tutor us then, doesn't it?" Christopher asks as we head to the Slytherin Dungeon.

"We'll be allowed to have our study sessions still," I say confidently. "It just has to be approved by the Carrows."

"And you think they'll agree to that?" Jacob asks doubtfully.

"Of course," I state. We enter the common room. "But right now, I really must take care of some things." Before I leave I put my hand on Julia's arm. "If anyone approaches you, say that you are with Charlotte Rodgers. Don't answer any questions. Just tell them that you are my cousin. Understood?"

She nods. I bid the rest of them goodnight and head up to my dormitory.

Not until the others of my year have gone to sleep do I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and leave the Slytherin common room.

When I get to McGonagall's office, I don't knock. I slightly open the door and slide inside, making sure to close it quietly behind me. Then I charm the door so no one will be able to hear us. "Professor!" I call.

A few moments later, she comes out of her private quarters, quite frustrated. Her countenance changes when she sees me. "Charlotte," she says joyfully, coming toward me and taking me into her arms. "I was worried about you. When Raven came back with my own letter, I knew something was wrong."

"The Dark Lord fears that I might try escaping," I explain. "He had Se – Snape – put protective charms around the place we were staying. I couldn't leave, and Raven couldn't get back…only Death Eaters could get in and out."

McGonagall shakes her head as we move to take our seats by her desk. "Snape is going to be the death of Hogwarts," she states.

"I couldn't agree more," I lie.

"And the Carrows?" she continues as if I hadn't said anything. "They'll be torturing students by tomorrow evening. Filch is going to love this…"

"Who knows the truth?" I ask her. "Which professors, I mean?"

"Flitwick, Sprout, myself," she answers. "Madam Pomfrey knows as well, she treating Bill Weasley's injuries when Potter announced it."

"Do you know where they are? Harry, Ron, and Hermione?"

"On a mission from Dumbledore, but no one beyond the three of them know what they're doing," she says.

I want to change the subject. I don't want to think about my future riding on what Harry is doing, especially when no one knows what he's doing. "Where is Raven?"

"In the Owlery, with the school's owls."

Never mind, I don't want to talk about Raven. I need to talk about things more important. "Do you think Snape will be around often, or will he take to evading everyone?"

"I can't say," she replies. "I can't be sure about anything Snape will do anymore, but I believe he won't be seen much." Her gaze at me saddens. "Have you seen He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named since…?"

I nod. "Once more," I whisper. "I'll…I'll be…forced to leave Hogwarts…the last weekend of every month…until I conceive the child. I don't know what will happen to me if I do…or if don't…"

Silence descends upon us.

That's when it hits me: I have to warn her. "Professor, I have to ask you…please, don't leave the castle…for any reason," I say. "And don't…don't let yourself…be found alone with either of the Carrows or Snape."

"What's happened?"

"I…the last time…Bellatrix was supposed to escort me back to the safe house with Snape…something was wrong with me…I don't know what. But I couldn't…I couldn't stop myself from answering her questions until it was too late. She…she asked where I went last time the Dark Lord…" I look away from her. "I don't know how she knew I went anywhere…but she…she knew. And it just came out that I went to you. Professor, she…she was not the least bit happy to learn that I came to you, the Head of Gryffindor House at Hogwarts…"

"I believe I'll be able to protect myself from Snape and the Carrows," she assures me.

"I have no doubt about that," I reply. "It's just…if you leave the castle…she could ambush you. You know how Bellatrix is…she's crazy…she's psychotic. And now that you've offended her – whether accidental or not – she will try to get her revenge somehow…"

"How have I offended her?"

"She doesn't like –" I stop myself. I've never told McGonagall this before. What if she gets upset about it? What choice do I have now that I've brought it up? "Please don't be upset about this, professor." I probably shouldn't have said that. Now she looks suspicious. "It's just…she doesn't like that I see you as more of a mum to me than her." I have to avert my eyes from her again. I suddenly feel awkward.

"Charlotte," McGonagall replies. I instinctively look back at her at the sound of my name. She's smiling at me, a distinct watery glaze in her eyes. "Why would I be upset about you making a true statement?"

Relief washes over at me, and I find myself smiling back at her.

* * *

**Did you think that Julia would turn out to be a Muggle-born? How do you think that will affect this year?**

**What did you think of Charlotte's conversation with McGonagall?**

**Review!**


	80. Chapter 80

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's fine if your reviews aren't long and if you can't review every day. Don't worry about it!**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I was hoping most people would not be expecting her to be a Muggle-born. Charlotte will definitely watch out for her more. And you're right; Charlotte is the type to try to protect the ones she cares about.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I chose to make her a Muggle-born for that reason; I wanted one to be around during the Carrows' reign over Hogwarts. I'll get around to how Charlotte will explain it. It wasn't what Bellatrix did to Charlotte, it was something Voldemort did and the effects lasted a little while. It wasn't Veritaserum. I explain what happened later on. It comes up.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Yep, a Muggle-born in Slytherin. I looked it up to make sure it was possible. It is, but it's rare lol. I definitely got an odd mental image about Snape eating chocolate and other comfort food while lounging around in sweatpants lol, it was hilarious.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I'll talk about why she wanted to be in Slytherin. It becomes important later. Hahaha, it's okay. I'm daft about some things too lol. I would probably be running my mouth too, especially when people talk about how evil Snape is. That would be hard for me to keep quiet.**

**Lily: Thanks for reviewing! You are correct. Right now they are staking the place out, getting prepared to invade it. I'll mention things like that so everyone can keep up with Harry's timeline:)**

**Emilyyeah: Thanks for reviewing! I kind of like Voldemort too, so don't feel too bad, but he's definitely not my favorite character or villain for that matter lol. I understand your reasoning. I have the same reasoning for things:)**

**ChelseaLouisePowell: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

**treavellergirl: Thanks for the favorites and the follows!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 80**

I'm sitting with my four little friends in the Great Hall, waiting for our schedules to be passed out. As McGonagall suspected, Severus is not here. He hasn't shown himself since his Start of Term Speech. I think he did quite well of sounding Death Eater-like without making it too obvious. Hardly anyone knows the "truth" behind Dumbledore's death, and only the headmaster and myself (as well as the headmaster portraits) know the actual truth.

Professor Slughorn approaches our group and stops. "Ah, Miss Rodgers," he says, "I suppose there is nothing I can do to convince you to take Potions this years, is there?"

I smile. "No, professor, there isn't," I reply. "I have a deep-rooted hatred of that particular subject."

He smiles. "Very well then." I can't help but feel that he's rather down about Harry not being here this year. It's no secret that he likes teaching the famous and the powerful, both of which describe Harry. He hands me my new schedule.

I inwardly groan. Muggle Studies is definitely not a class I wanted to take, but as Severus has already informed, it is a mandatory class this year. At least I had a reason to drop Arithmancy. If Hermione isn't going to be in the class with me, I'm not going to take it. I only kept it last year so I could talk to her away from Ron and Harry.

As I make my way to Muggle Studies, I fall into step with Neville Longbottom. He has seemed overly tense since I caught a glimpse of him on the Hogwarts Express. "This isn't going to go well," he says to me, still staring straight ahead.

"That's what I fear," I reply.

"Ginny, Luna, and I are planning on starting up the D.A. again," he informs me. "We won't stand for Snape's regime. You were once a part of the D.A. You in again?"

I smile sadly. "I will, Neville," I say, making it a point not to look at him either so we can look as inconspicuous as possible, "but there are some things going on behind-the-scenes. No one can know I'm in the D.A. I have to be a covert member."

"Do you have a reason for this stipulation on joining?"

"In due time you'll know," I state.

He nods and moves onto Hannah Abbot, who I know was in the D.A. as well. Neville breaks apart from Hannah when we reach Alecto's classroom. We all step inside and silently take our seats. The Carrow sister is just as cruel-looking in this light as she was in the meeting at Malfoy Manor.

"Muggles," she begins, "what do you know about them?"

A few of the students slip their hands up.

"Nothing!" Alecto shrieks. "For the past six years, you have been fed lies in the subject of Muggles!" Whispers fill the classroom. "I am here to teach you the truth of Muggles. For too long have we magic folk been forced into hiding. Why is it that the Muggles live their lives in the best comfort they can, but we cannot? We have been oppressed for too long!"

I glance at Neville, who is trying hard not to seethe at her words. Crabbe and Goyle both seem overly pleased with what she is saying. Pansy is positively gleeful.

It's going to be hard to keep my head down this year. The Carrows are going to find out my true allegiances if I'm not careful.

"Muggles are worthless creatures that need to be put into their place in this world," Alecto continues. I look down at my hands and do my best to block her out.

* * *

"Enter."

I open the door leading into the headmaster's office. Severus is sitting in Dumbledore's old chair. His office is relatively the same as Dumbledore's had been. "Evening," I say.

"Evening," he replies.

Dumbledore's portrait hangs behind Severus's desk. He smiles at me. "I take it you got my note?" he asks.

"Yes, sir," I answer.

The new headmaster looks between me and the portrait. "Note?" he asks. "What note?"

"The one I left for her," Dumbledore explains, "so she would know that she can trust you."

Severus just nods. Then he looks back at me. "Did you need something?" he asks me.

"Well, I…I was wondering when I can begin the lessons…you know, to resist the Imperius Curse," I say.

"Ah, yes, I was wondering when you were going to come asking –"

"It's only been a day sir," I interrupt.

He smirks. "We will begin next Sunday and will continue our lessons each Sunday until you've mastered it," he replies.

"Only on Sundays?"

He nods.

"But that only gives me three lessons before…" I drift off when I look around at all of former headmasters in the room who are pretending to sleep.

"I realize that," he says gently. "But there are things that I must do as headmaster. I do not have as much spare time as I did last year."

"But sir –"

"Charlotte, I am sorry," he continues. "There is nothing more I can do."

"What about our agreement?" I ask.

"I've held up my end of the agreement," he replies.

I swallow down my frustration. "But it's only come up once – technically twice – since we agreed upon it," I argue. "He's going to summon me back to the manor _every month_, professor!"

"You think I am unaware of this?"

"I can't go without – having that mental power over him makes it more bearable," I continue.

"I know this as well."

"But with all of your important headmaster duties, how are you supposed to help me?" I ask quietly.

His face saddens. "I'll…I'll find a way to help you, Charlotte. You won't have to face that alone."

"That's all I ask."

"But right now I'm afraid you must go," he says. "There are things I must attend to."

I nod slowly and stand up. It takes nearly every ounce of my willpower not to storm out. I know it's unreasonable, but I feel as if my situation is important enough for him to find more time to teach me how to resist the Imperius Curse, and it bothers me that he can't. Maybe McGonagall can help me as well, that way I'll have more practice.

No, I can't go to her with this. I don't want her to have to use an Unforgivable Curse against me. Tears slide down my cheeks as I retreat to the Slytherin Dungeon. "Students are not allowed to wander the corridors at night," I hear.

I turn my head to where the sound came from. "Who's there?" I reply.

Amycus Carrow comes out of the shadows. "Students are not allowed out of bed."

I smirk. "Do you realize who you're talking to?" I ask.

Light comes from the tip of his wand, and his face drops. "Rodgers," he says nervously. "I didn't realize."

"It's fine," I say kindly, though I wish I could hex him. "I was just speaking with Snape."

"So he knows already?"

"Knows what?" I ask.

"That Potter and his friends were seen in the Ministry of Magic earlier today. Yaxley nearly caught them," he answers.

Why would the three of them doing something so reckless? "That is not what we were speaking of," I say. But it is certainly good thing to know.

He nods. "I guess I should let him know then." He seems to like the idea of being important. "Carry on your way."

"I won't be punished for being out of bed?" I ask.

"You?" he replies. "Of course not."

I spin around and head back toward the Slytherin Dungeon. It feels really nice to have the Carrows fear me. Well, I guess they don't technically fear me; they fear Voldemort's punishment if they treat me badly. But still, it's a nice thought. I stop moving and turn back around. "Professor Carrow," I call to him.

There is an evil grin on his face when he faces me. It probably had something to do with me calling him "professor." "Can I help you?" he asks.

"It's about Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four," I say.

"What about it?"

"I tutor a young group of Slytherins in Transfiguration. I was wondering if I could continue that."

"Do these Slytherins support the Dark Lord?" he replies.

"I'm teaching them to," I lie.

"Very well then."

This time when I walk off, I don't turn back around. I've got some good news to share with my little friends. Wearing a broad smile, I enter the common room. "Charlotte!" Christopher calls to me. I immediately walk over to him and the other three second-years. "You take Muggle Studies too, right?" he asks me.

"Yeah, why?"

"What are you being taught?" Emma asks.

"That Muggles are oppressing the wizards," I answer.

"That's what we're being taught, too," Julia whispers. "I almost stood up and said something…"

I put my hand on her shoulder. "I commend you for your courage, but I'm afraid that doing so is not in your best interest. The Carrows are not forgiving." I smile at them. "But I have some really good news for all of you."

"What's that?" Jacob asks eagerly.

"We are allowed to continue our tutoring sessions," I announce.

All of them smile widely.

"How did you get them to agree?" Christopher asks.

"I just asked nicely."

"No, really," Jacob laughs.

"All I had to do was ask them, and they agreed," I say. "So if you need anything, have me ask them for you."

"Why are you suddenly their favorite?" Emma asks.

"It's a long story –"

"Which I don't have time for at the moment," Christopher interrupts me. He is nearly bouncing up and down with anticipation. "There's something I have to ask." I meet his eye, telling him to continue. "Well, it's more of a command for you, Charlotte, than a request." A smile comes across my face, and I raise my eyebrows at him. "Oh no, not from me. This is from my mum. She says that you are to come to our house for the Christmas holidays," his tone is very diplomatic. "And that there will be no arguing on this point."

My mouth drops open. "I don't know if I can…"

"She says that if you have to leave early, that's fine. But you have to come for Christmas," he states.

"Did she now?"

"Hello, Charlotte," someone says.

I turn and see Pansy take a seat next to me. "Parkinson," I say.

I look back to Christopher to answer his question when she says, "I see you're still stuck hanging out with the little kids. Haven't you found anymore little first-years to turn to? After all, these four are a little above your age group, aren't they?"

"They might be young physically, Pansy," I say, "but I know with full certainty that they are mentally older than you."

She scoffs. "Just what's that supposed to mean?" she growls.

I sigh. "My point exactly," I mumble. "Listen, Parkinson, these four second-years offer far more intelligent conversations than you do. That being said, there is only one explanation: They're mentally older than you. Whereas you are seventeen – eighteen maybe, I don't care when you were born, seeing as it makes _no_ impact on me _whatsoever_ – these who are only twelve and thirteen are more mature and intellectual. How do I know this, you might ask? There are a few reasons. Would you like to hear them?" I flick my wand at her to silence her; fury is already rising in her eyes, and I know she would have interrupted me. Now that I've started this tirade, I intend to finish it.

"Firstly," I continue, "they do not go up to someone with whom they are not on cordial terms specifically to start a fight. That shows they're more mature than you. Secondly, rather than struggling through classes, as I know you do, they came to me for help. This shows that they are intellectually older than you, for they can accept their faults and try to make them better. Thirdly, they are capable of moving beyond past antagonism to become friends." I stand to my feet, pulling her up with me. "Furthermore, they are all around better people than you. Age means nothing." I take the spell off of her and give her a shove backwards, knocking her to the stone floor. "I wouldn't suggest trying something like that again."

Pansy smirks as she stands to her feet, seemingly oblivious to her red face and all of the Slytherins who have turned to watch. "You might have your precious Professor McGonagall in your pocket, Rodgers," she snarls, "but I can turn the Carrows against you," she snaps her fingers, "just like that."

I take a step closer to her and whether it's subconsciously or not, I'll never know, but Pansy takes a step away from me. "I don't think you'll be able to turn anyone against me," I say, "especially not the Carrows, seeing as they've known me – well, my whole life basically."

I take my wand out and raise my voice, "Now, if anyone else sees fit to make an enemy of me or one of my friends," I motion to Christopher, Jacob, Julia, and Emma, "feel free. No one's stopping you, but I assure you that it is the single biggest mistake you can ever make. I'm a forgiving person, as I have been forgiven for things in the past. But this one here," I smile and point my wand at Pansy, "well, as you can see, I'm not quite as forgiving to you, Parkinson. As for the rest of you who I see sniggering when I am simply enjoying spending time with my friends, this is your final warning, because quite frankly, you are beginning to piss me off."

Crabbe pulls out his wand and throws a jinx at me, which I deflect without tearing my eyes away from Pansy. I laugh. "Well, there's another for your group, Parkinson." Still without looking at Crabbe, I blast him with the Impediment Jinx. "Anyone else?" I ask.

Millicent Bulstrode tries to attack me, and I easily stop her. With a simple spell, I pick her up off the floor and toss her against the wall. "That's three already!" I shout. Tracey Davis then sends a jinx at the four second-years. I quickly throw a shield up around them. "And don't try to go after my friends," I say exasperatedly.

"Now, I am one hundred percent behind the Carrows, and Professor Snape, and Hogwarts," I announce, "but I am not afraid to be pitted against any of you. You have a choice to make, because I'm sick of seeing all of you snigger at me and my friends. Parkinson can be your ringleader, or you can be your own person. I don't care which you choose. Just leave me and my friends alone."

I go back and sit down with my friends again. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have blown up the way I did, but I'm under a lot of pressure. And Pansy just pushes my buttons. But now that it's in the open, I'm glad I did it.

Two people approach our tiny group and sit down. "Hi, Charlotte," Daphne Greengrass greets me.

"Hi, Daphne," I reply.

"I believe you've met my sister Astoria?" she asks.

"A few times," I say. "Hi, Astoria."

Daphne's face becomes serious. "I want to apologize to you," she says quietly. "I should never have…I should never have been in that group of Pansy's."

"It's perfectly fine," I assure her.

"Where's Draco?" Astoria asks.

"I don't really know," I say. "Mr. Malfoy has a lot of influence in the Ministry. He might have pulled some strings so Draco wouldn't have to come back."

There is no time for a response from any of those around me, for I am rammed by a spell and thrown out of my seat and onto the floor. Pansy laughs as I pull myself to my feet. "A cheap shot!" I laugh with her. I walk toward her, my wand at my side. "If it's a duel you want, Parkinson, it's a duel you'll get." I wave my wand, and everyone is forced out of the middle of the common room, as are the sofas and tables.

I stand in the newly open area, and Pansy gladly stands across from me. "You were never worthy of Draco," she whispers to me.

"Is that what this is about?" I ask sarcastically. "Are you really ready to give up your entire reputation for this?"

"I was born ready to ruin you," she hisses.

I smile. "Very well." I turn to the group. "Daphne, if you would be so kind."

"On my count," Daphne says. "One…two…three!"

I cast the Impediment Jinx and throw up the Shield Charm before Pansy can make her first move. She lands on back, rather hard if I may say so myself. "Get up, Pansy!" I shriek. As she struggles to stand, I hit her with the Impediment Jinx again. I laugh again. "Did you not hear me, Parkinson? Get up!"

This time when she stands, I don't immediately attack. I move to defense and deflect her attack. I silently expel her wand, catch it, and smile at her. "If we're done now," I say, tossing her wand onto the floor and straightening up the common room.

Pansy storms over and snatches up her wand. "This is far from over," she growls.

Despite my efforts to end the irritating attitudes of the Slytherins, many of them still gravitate toward Pansy, no doubt because they've known her the longest. Many of the third-years and younger stay in my general area until it's time for us to go to the dormitories. Daphne makes a point of sticking by my side when we go to the seventh-year girls' room. We ignore the glares from Pansy, Tracey Davis, and Millicent Bulstrode.

* * *

**Do you think Charlotte will be able to go to Christopher's for Christmas?**

**What did you think about the scene in the common room?**

**Was it a good or bad idea that she agreed to join the D.A.?**

**Review**


	81. Chapter 81

**xXDanceAllNightXx: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you didn't see it coming:) I think it was good that she joined the D.A. too!**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I hate Pansy!**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! It was dangerous, but I think more good can come from it than bad. You're right about needing to be in the right situation to be able to twist the story to make herself look better. I wanted the scene to show Charlotte's dramatic side! After everything she's been through, I think she has the right to be dramatic lol. I'm sure it's usually only Slytherins who duel:)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's good that she's there and bad. You have the reasons perfect. But I have plans for her being in the D.A., which is why I had her join again.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Both of your reviews posted lol. It's fine. Don't worry about it. I don't want to comment on Christmas or the D.A. I like to keep things quiet so there can be surprises:)**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I hope she can too, but I don't know yet lol.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! She will definitely need an amazing excuse to go to Christopher's for Christmas. I'm going to talk about the sword, but the attempted theft took place in either September or November. There isn't a set date from what I've found. Christopher's mum wants to meet Charlotte because of everything she's done for Christopher. I was planning on having Pansy back down now that she's been publicly humiliated, but thanks for the tip anyway:) I've got things in mind for the D.A.**

**Lalitya: Thanks for reviewing! That's fine, I'm just glad you reviewed at all:) I can't really comment on whether or not she will get pregnant. That's something that only time will tell lol. It makes me happy that I am still proving you wrong. I enjoy doing that hahaha:)**

**cuteninjagirl00: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 81**

"I won't do it," Neville states.

Amycus clenches his fists. We're in Defense Against the Dark Arts, which, as Neville has already so boldly pointed out, is more of just a Dark Arts class. We've only been having classes for four days, and Amycus has already decided that it is time for us to learn the Cruciatus Curse, except we're not just learning _about _it, as Snape taught us, but we're supposed to use it on a first-year who is serving detention.

"What did you say?" Amycus growls.

"I said I won't do it," Neville repeats. I hold my breath. This won't end well for the Gryffindor, I'm afraid.

"Would you rather serve the detention for him?" Amycus asks.

Neville straightens his back and looks Amycus square in the eye. "Yes."

The Death Eater's lip twitches. "What a shame," he replies. "Unfortunately, you cannot serve the detention _for_ him, but you can have a detention _with_ him."

"I will," Neville says. Then he walks over to the young, blond-headed Hufflepuff first-year who is quivering violently and puts his hand on his shoulder to offer him a brief moment of consolation.

"Goyle!" Amycus commands. The boy steps forward. "You know what to do."

Goyle smiles cruelly. "_Crucio!"_

Neville shouts in pain; the little first-year shouts in terror, knowing that he will be next. The brave son of the two fallen Aurors collapses to the floor, still screaming with the pain of the Cruciatus Curse.

"Enough!" My hand clasps over my mouth as soon as the words come out.

Amycus's eyes dart to me. "Telling me how to run my classroom?" he snarls.

"No, sir," I answer. "I'm telling you to spare the sanity of a pureblooded wizard."

The man's lip curls. "Enough, Goyle," he finally says. Neville's screaming ceases. Slowly, he stands back up. "The next one."

Goyle smiles again. _"Crucio!"_

But it isn't the young boy who is screaming in pain. Again, it is Neville. I'm about to shout when I realize that Goyle did not mean to hit Neville, but that Neville had jumped in front of the curse, taking it for the Hufflepuff boy. Goyle stops. Amycus goes forward, forces Neville to his feet, and shoves him to the group of us that are standing to the side.

I have to turn my head and close my eyes as the little boy is punished with the Cruciatus Curse.

After class, I walk silently beside Neville. "I'm sorry," I finally say.

He glances at me. "Why did he listen to you? Carrow – why did he listen to you?"

"Neville, there's a lot going on –"

"Don't give me that excuse," he cuts me off. "I need to know. How can I be sure I can trust you when the Carrows listen to you?"

"Listen," I reply. "If you knew the truth, you would simply be in more danger than you already are."

"You think I care about danger, Charlotte?" he asks.

"I know you don't," I say. "But _I care _if I put you in more of it. I swear that I will tell you. Just…give it some time."

He sighs. "Professor McGonagall trusts you, doesn't she?"

"She does," I confirm.

"I'll trust her judgment for now," he says. "But I'll need to know. I hope you realize that."

"I'll keep it in mind."

He parts ways with me when I go to Transfiguration. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't blame him for being wary of trusting me. I mean, what would I think if the Carrows were listening to a student? I would certainly believe that student to be on good terms with them. And if someone is on good terms with the Death Eaters, it obviously means something is being hidden.

Perhaps he will stick to McGonagall's judgment. I don't know when – or if – I'll be able to tell him what's really going on. What will he think about me being the daughter of the woman who put his parents in St. Mungo's? My guess is that he won't take it too kindly.

* * *

I'm sitting in the Great Hall when a first-year comes running up to me. I have never spoken to her, but she was in the common room earlier this week when I fought Pansy. "Charlotte?" she asks. "Are you Charlotte Rodgers?"

"I am," I say.

"I'm supposed to give this to you," she announces.

I take a small, rolled up piece of parchment. "Thanks." The little girl doesn't leave. She remains where she is. I clear my throat. "Can I help you with something?"

"How did you do it?" she asks.

"Do what?"

"In the common room," she explains. "I've never seen someone your age be that powerful."

"It has taken years of rigorous practice," I say. "What's your name?"

"Elizabeth," she answers.

I smile, thinking back to my time at Grimmauld Place when I created a fake persona by the name of Elizabeth. But this little Elizabeth is much different than the crazy woman I pretended to be. "That's a good name," I say.

She smiles shyly before wandering off.

I unroll the paper.

_Charlotte,_

_ Come to my office at seven on Sunday. Yes, in the morning._

_Professor Snape_

I groan. I'm really beginning to think that he simply enjoys making me wake up early. I quickly hide the paper in my robes when the Christopher and the rest of the group show up. "I've done some thinking, Christopher –"

"Oh, dear," he says. "This must be serious."

I smirk at him. "I'm trying to get some things settled so I can go to your house for the holidays. I make no promises, but I'm trying."

He smiles. "Good."

"What do you have to do?" Emma asks.

"I can't really say," I reply.

"Why not?" Julia speaks up.

This is one of those times when I hate how she so strategically asks her questions. "It's one of those things that have been planned for years and years. I have no choice. But I can't tell you what it is, because it would not only scare you but it would also scar you." I smile at them. "I'm perfectly fine though. It's just…I'm not allowed to speak of it."

I glance up to the staff table. Severus still has not made an appearance since the Start of Term Feast. He's playing his part really well, I have to say.

My conversation with the second-years is relatively peaceful from that point onward. They don't ask me anymore questions about what I have to do, and for that, I am grateful.

The Greengrass sisters come over to us. "Afternoon," Daphne greets us.

"Hi," the four second-years say almost at the exact same time.

"Do you mind if we sit here?" Astoria asks.

"Why not?" I reply. "So has Pansy officially shunned you?"

Daphne smiles sadly. "Yeah, but it's been coming down the tracks for a while now. Remember last year in the dormitory when I argued with them about you?" I smile, thinking back to when I had been hiding in the room while they talked on and on about me. "She was never really the same after that. And she saw me with you in Hogsmeade that day of the Apparation Test. That didn't go over well either."

"I didn't mean to ruin your six-year friendship," I say quietly.

"She wasn't much of a friend, so it's fine."

Astoria asks, "Do you think Snape will ever show up again for a meal?"

"There's no telling with that bloke," Jacob answers. "He's an odd one. I don't know why they chose him to take Dumbledore's place."

"I don't like him or the Carrows," Daphne states. "There's something off about them."

"I believe they're all Death Eaters," Christopher says.

The piece of parchment in my robes suddenly feels like an anchor in my pocket.

"That's what I think they are," Astoria admits. "And all of the stuff that one is saying about Muggles? I mean, our family's not a fan of Muggles by any means, but they're certainly not animals."

"What's this news I hear about Dumbledore's Army?" Daphne asks.

"Dumbledore's what?" Emma says. "I've never heard of it."

"You wouldn't have," I say. "It was a year before you started here at Hogwarts. It was created by Harry Potter and Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger as a way to oppose Umbridge. It was effective until the Inquisitorial Squad was started – that was a group designed to find out what Harry was doing and punish those involved."

"I remember that," Daphne replies. "Pansy wanted me to join the Inquisitorial Squad, but I was too focused on studying for the O.W.L.s."

"Is it starting again?" Christopher asks.

"From what I hear, Neville Longbottom is leading it to oppose Snape and the Carrows," Astoria answers.

"I want to join," Christopher announces.

"No, no, no, no, no," I say quickly. "That's not a good idea."

"Why not?" Daphne asks.

I sigh. "Listen, I was a part of it. In fact, I am again but –"

"Then why can't we be?" Julia joins in.

"Because, as Slytherins, we need to at least make it seem that we are with Snape and the Carrows," I tell them. "Voldemort is all about Slytherin – he's a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself. We have to keep up the look of being squeaky-clean. Keep your head down, or the Carrows will inform him that Slytherin House is turning against him. He'll punish us more severely than he will the other Houses."

"Then why are you in it?" Jacob asks.

"Because I was in it before, and Neville asked me to," I answer. "I can't very well say no to him, that would look like I'm with Snape and the Carrows."

"But we want to oppose them," Astoria argues.

"Then do it discreetly," I counter. "Don't join the D.A. It won't be good for you. Don't let anyone know where you truly stand, ever. In the long run, it will be more effective." I meet each of their eyes. "Keep your heads down."

"Like you did in Defense Against the Dark Arts class earlier?" Daphne asks.

A smirk comes to my lips even though I try to stop it. "That was different."

"How so?" she argues.

"Goyle was Cruciating Neville!" I say. "Was I supposed to just sit back and let that happen?"

"But you didn't keep your head down," she counters. "And why did Carrow listen to you? Why did he have Goyle stop?"

"Did you hear me last Monday in the common room?" I reply. "The Carrows have known me my whole life –"

"But why did that make him listen to you?" Christopher asks.

I sigh. "It's hard to explain," I say quietly. "I doubt if it will happen again unless I offer a really good excuse for asking them to stop."

"So if we want to rebel against them, we have to do it discreetly?" Julia asks.

"Yes, but that means no one can know about it, at all," I say.

"Then what use is it?" Astoria asks.

"There isn't," I answer. "Slytherins need to keep their heads down and play nice. If not, the consequences will be severe."

After that, talk of rebellion dies out, but I'm afraid they're all still talking about it. Slytherins aren't supposed to be in the D.A. It's weird. I'm only in there because I joined it the first time around.

I firmly believe I was put into the wrong House. If I had known what each of the Houses was like, I probably would have begged the Sorting Hat to put me in a different one.

The weekend comes quickly, and I soon find myself walking under the Disillusionment Charm to Severus's office for my lessons on resisting the Imperius Curse. I can't help but wonder what all of the previous headmasters will think about the current headmaster using the Imperius Curse against a student.

A wide smile comes to my lips when I see Neville standing in the corridor writing, "_Dumbledore's Army: Still Recruiting_," on the walls. I'm tempted to hug him, but I have to resist. Once he finishes, he takes off running. Perhaps I should try to teach him the Disillusionment Charm so he won't have to worry about getting caught.

I say the password to the gargoyle, and run up the steps to knock on the headmaster's door. "Enter," he calls from inside.

I push the door open. "Professor," I greet him.

"You're early," he replies. I glance at the clock.

If I'm early, it's by a mere three minutes. "I like to be punctual," I say.

He smirks but ignores my comments and instead says, "Resisting the Imperius Curse is a matter of how strong your will is."

Then it shouldn't be too difficult for me, I don't believe. So why can I not resist it when I am with Voldemort?

"As I understand, you know the feeling of being under the curse, seeing as it has been used against you before," Severus says.

I have to look away from him as heat flushes my face. I don't like to think about what it was like when I was placed under the curse, and I certainly don't like him to know what happened when it was used against me. It's embarrassing. Then again, I shouldn't be embarrassed around him, all things considered.

"You have mastered Occlumency, and I believe you can resist the curse," he continues. "It will just take time."

"Which I seem to be running short on lately," I reply.

His face darkens. "As it is for everyone," he says softly.

Then he continues talking about the Imperius Curse. "No doubt you are aware of the blissful happiness that occurs when under the curse," he says. I nod. "This is what makes the curse so powerful. When someone is in that state, it is difficult to pull out of it. The worry-free feeling grips the victim's very soul, and they don't want to return to the real world. They are susceptible to almost anything."

"Severus, you cannot seriously be teaching a student about an Unforgivable Curse!" one of the portraits interrupts.

"Phineas," Dumbledore's portrait reprimands him. "It is necessary."

"Thank you, Albus," Severus says. He looks back at me. "As I was saying, it is a difficult curse to overcome. But it is possible."

"With practice," I say.

"With practice," he confirms.

"Severus, you cannot use an Unforgivable Curse on a student!" the same portrait from earlier shouts.

"Phineas," Dumbledore says authoritatively. "This has all been explained."

The portrait scoffs but quiets down after that.

"Are you ready?" Severus asks me.

I nod.

He points his wand at me. _"Imperio."_

That wonderful sense of blissful happiness wipes my mind of all my worries. I've never been so carefree in my life, except when I was under the curse from Voldemort. "Stand up," Severus commands. I do. "Sit down." I do. He smirks at me. I don't know what's happening exactly, but I feel myself jump into the air and flip backwards, landing perfectly on my feet. On any other day, I couldn't do that if my life depended it on it.

Then the blissful happiness leaves me.

"Did you even try to break the curse?" he asks.

"No," I admit.

"Why?"

"I was happy…no worries…" I say quietly. "I didn't want to lose that feeling."

Severus closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I realize you have been through a lot in your life and that the idea of having no worries appeals to you, but when you are with the Dark Lord, things are not worry-free. Charlotte, you must learn to break the curse. You must surrender the temporary happiness in order to claim your victory."

"Again then?" I ask.

He nods. _"Imperio."_

I fall into the gleeful trance again, and I don't want to leave it. I walk across the room and simply pace back and forth. I have to break this. I have to learn how to do this.

But I don't want to. I'm happy like this. I could stay like this forever, and I doubt if it would bother me.

For the next hour, I am under the Imperius Curse but do almost nothing to stop it or break free. After having proven the fact that I am not going to succeed in the first lesson, the headmaster releases me from the curse. "You need to learn to ignore the happiness you feel," he says. "You must learn to put it aside. If you cannot learn to close your eyes to the carefree joy the curse causes, you will never be able to resist the curse."

I nod and leave the office.

* * *

**If Charlotte ever tells Neville the truth, how do you think he'll take it?**

**Will she ever learn to resist the Imperius Curse?**

**Should she have told the second-years and the Greengrass sisters everything that she told them?**

**Review!**


	82. Chapter 82

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I hope she does too!**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing! Hahaha, I'm glad things don't usually end up they way you thought! :)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I guess we'll just have to wait and see if Neville find out and he takes it if Charlotte decides to tell;) I hope she learns how, but you never know… Was Astoria really in the D.A.? I haven't heard that**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! We'll find out soon enough how he takes it (if Charlotte ever decides to tell him). She will definitely be an advantage to the D.A. I wasn't' going to forget Luna; I love her lol. It's just hard for Charlotte to see much of her because they're in different years, which is also why Charlotte doesn't see much of Ginny either.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say how Neville reacts, or even if he ever knows. I don't like spoilers lol. But I think you're right about him getting over it if he found out about what she has to do. If she can learn to resist the curse, things will most certainly become more difficult. You pretty much got the reasons as to why :)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! **

**Evergreenriver: Thanks for the follow!**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**ixipixi: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 82**

"Half-bloods," Amycus Carrow commands from his place at the front of the classroom; his eyes glide over each of us, a cruel smile on his lips, "that side of the room. Pure-bloods, this side of the room." It's only our second week of classes, but the Carrow siblings seem more inclined to discriminate against the blood status of the students than they were last week.

"Why?" Seamus Finnigan asks.

"A test," the Death Eater answers. "To prove purebloods are more powerful. We will be using the Blasting Curse – Confringo." He smiles cruelly. "Better hope your half-blood friends know how to protect themselves. Go to you assigned places."

Each of us nervously moves to the appropriate sides of the room. I don't understand how this is supposed to do anything. Someone could die, which could very well be what Carrow is hoping for… Neville moves to the side of the room where only half-bloods are to go, and Seamus takes his place on the pureblood side.

This does not go unnoticed by Amycus. "Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Finnigan," he says, "did neither of you hear me properly?"

"We heard you properly," Neville answers. "We just decided we liked this idea better."

"Detention," Amycus declares. "Now go to your proper places."

Neither of the Gryffindor boys move, and I realize just why they were Sorted into their House. They both bravely stand against Amycus Carrow, even knowing what could very well happen. Sure enough, the Carrow professor whips out his wand and shouts, "_Crucio!"_ at Seamus.

Neville pulls out his wand and expels the wand from the Death Eater's hand. The Carrow brother simply laughs, a wicked laugh that puts my nerves on edge. "Mr. Longbottom," he says. "That was not your best idea."

"It was better than yours – Cruciating a student! What kind of professor are you?" Neville retorts.

"One to be feared," Amycus says dangerously.

"I don't fear you. And I never will," Neville proclaims.

"And that is your mistake." The man goes to get his wand. "Because now I must find a way to change that."

* * *

"It's horrible, professor," I say to McGonagall. We have resumed our nightly meetings, the ones we started last year. Right now we're drinking tea, eating Chocolate Cauldrons from Honeydukes in Hogsmeade, and discussing the Carrows and Snape. "I've never met anyone so open to using the Cruciatus Curse before…well, besides possibly Bellatrix."

"They're trying to force all of the professors to report any misbehavior," she tells me. "We don't, if we can help it. We are all very aware of the punishments they use in their detentions."

I set my cup of tea aside. "What do they do other than the Cruciatus Curse?" I ask quietly.

"Beatings mostly," she answers, "but they're not afraid to use knives as well."

My face drops. "How…?"

"They chain them up," the professor says, doing her best to keep her anger at bay.

"And there's nothing anyone can do?"

McGonagall shakes her head. "Snape could, being headmaster, but we all know that is not going to happen," she answers. "The rest of us have no authority to stop them."

"The D.A. has started again," I say, hoping it will make the situation better.

"I believe Mr. Longbottom is the ringleader this time around, yes?" Apparently she already knows…

I nod. "He's been recruiting –"

"As the invitation in the third floor corridor suggested," she says.

I smile. "Exactly."

She is quiet for a moment, then finally asks, "What will happen to you if the Carrows find you wandering through the castle this late?"

"Nothing," I reply. "They tend not to mess with me much, considering my good standing with the Dark Lord."

"Are you positive? I don't want you risking yourself to speak with me," she says.

"Amycus caught me the other night," I say, "and nothing happened to me once he realized who I was."

"What other night?" McGonagall replies. "This is the first time this term you've stayed this late."

"I had to go to Snape's office," I admit.

"Why?" She's still wary of me being around him, despite us being at Hogwarts now.

"The…the Dark Lord…he will summon me the last weekend of each month…until I conceive the child," I answer. "Snape was working out a way to get me there and get me back without anyone realizing."

She tries her best to give me an encouraging smile. "At least it will be easier for you to come to me when it's over," she comments.

I smile back at her. I honestly hadn't thought about that. "Right you are, professor."

McGonagall opens her mouth to say something but is cut off by a knock on her office door. Both of us freeze. "Hide," she whispers.

"There's no point," I whisper back. "If they're coming to check in here, they must know a student is here."

"You can't be sure about that," McGonagall argues. "Hide."

"I can be sure," I counter. "I took the Disillusionment Charm off of me to speak with Neville. I couldn't put it back on because he standing there. It would have been suspicious." There is another knock at the door. "One of them must have seen me."

"Charlotte," McGonagall takes on a professor-like tone. She doesn't say anything else because a loud bang on the door quiets her.

"Just get rid of this," I point to the tea and the Chocolate Cauldrons.

After vanishing the evidence of our friendly meeting, she looks up and calls, "Enter!"

"Evening. I believe there is a student out of bed. I thought I saw her come in here." Alecto closes the door. "Who's that, Minerva?" she asks, obviously referring to me.

I subtly shake my head for her not to answer. McGonagall follows my lead and doesn't respond.

"Minerva, who is the student in your office?" Alecto asks again.

"What student?" McGonagall asks.

"ANSWER ME!" Alecto shouts.

I still shake my head, but I can see that McGonagall is about to cave and answer. She doesn't want to risk my being punished. So I quickly say, faintly disguising my voice, "I don't think you have the right know who I am, Alecto."

McGonagall's eyes widen slightly, and she's silently shouting at me for what I've just said.

"What did you say?" Alecto snaps.

"You heard me," I reply.

"It'll be the Cruciatus Curse for you, then, you filthy half-blood!" Alecto shrieks.

I've pretty much done it now. I know from experience that the Shield Charm cannot stop the Cruciatus Curse. At this point, all I can do is dodge the curse, but because I'm sitting directly in front of McGonagall, if I dodge it, she will be hit. I know I don't have time to pull my wand out to throw something in the way so it can take the curse; I'll have to be hit.

I close my eyes.

"_Crucio!"_

The spell knocks me onto the floor, shrieking in pain. "Stop!" McGonagall barks. Alecto doesn't, of course, but this is nowhere near as bad as what Bellatrix did to me after Snape killed Dumbledore, and while I'm screaming in pain, I'm not screaming as loud as I had then. Then the pain stops.

"Ready to tell me who you are now?" Alecto growls.

"Not necessarily," I reply.

"Charlotte!" McGonagall orders, "Enough of this!"

"Ch-Charlotte?" Alecto stutters. "Ch-Charlotte Rodgers?"

"That's right," I say, standing to my feet. I point at Alecto, and she puts her wand away. I continue going toward her until I've grabbed her by the next and have her rammed against the wall. I lower my voice, "Charlotte Rodgers, the chosen one of the Dark Lord – and you just Cruciated me. How do you think he'll take that?"

"I…I didn't know," she mutters.

"Why'd you come in here?"

Her eyes flicker to McGonagall.

"Ah, I see," I say. "The Head of Gryffindor House, so you thought you'd just show the Slytherin dominance over Gryffindor?" I don't give her a chance to answer. I whisper quietly, "Professor Minerva McGonagall has done things for me that will help me with my duty to the Dark Lord – though she has no idea how she's helped me. And yes, the Dark Lord knows that I use her to stay sane." I tighten my grip on Alecto's throat and raise my voice again, "You come for her again, and I'll go straight to the Dark Lord about how you Cruciated me. Got that?"

She nods the best she can.

"Say it."

"Okay," she croaks quietly.

"So she can hear you," I command.

"Okay!" she shouts.

"Now, I'm going to finish my conversation with the professor who is helping me perform my duty to the Dark Lord, and you're not going to speak of this, or I just might let it _slip_ to the Dark Lord what you did to me," I keep my voice quiet enough that only Alecto can hear me.

She nods, and I release her. She quickly leaves the room.

I turn back to McGonagall. Her look is a cross between disapproving and pride. "Are you all right, Charlotte?" she asks quietly.

"Brilliant," I say. "You?"

"I wasn't the one who just got Cruciated, am I?"

I smile. "I'm fine, professor. But I think I should leave now. I'm probably pushing my limits by staying in here."

She nods, and I quickly leave her office.

* * *

"So," I say to Severus before we begin our second lesson on resisting the Imperius Curse, "I was Cruciated by Alecto Carrow last Wednesday night."

He looks up from his desk. "What? Why?"

"I was with McGonagall. Carrow didn't know it was me until it was too late," I say.

"Something tells me that it was not an accident you were caught," Severus replies.

I smile sheepishly. "Something tells me you're right."

He tries not smirk and says, "Ready for your lessons?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I answer.

The headmaster points his wand at me. "_Imperio."_

The all-too-familiar feeling of carefree happiness washes over me. Again, I find myself wanting to stay under the curse forever. If it keeps me worry-free when I face Voldemort, I feel that it's almost worth it. I meet Severus's eye. He's obviously frustrated with me.

"Are you even trying?" he asks.

_Say "no."_

I suddenly don't want to say "no." I want to say "yes."

_Say "no."_

"Charlotte, answer me," he continues.

_Say "no."_

But I want to say "yes."

_Say "no."_

I want to say "yes."

"No," is jerked out of me.

Severus sighs, irritated at my failure. "Charlotte," he says, "I have seen you apply Occlumency against Professor Dumbledore. I know you applied it against the Dark Lord. I know you're capable of doing this. Why aren't you trying?"

"But I tried saying 'yes' just then, sir!" I argue. "I just couldn't do it!"

"You have the willpower, Charlotte," he says. "Use it." Pointing his wand at me, he casts the Imperius Curse on me once again. I'm sucked into the intense happiness given by the curse.

"Are you trying to resist the effects?" he asks me.

I look over at him. So far, I have not tried, and I have been forced to pace around the room. But I haven't cared. This blissful unawareness is all I've wanted for so many years. Its effects are too powerful on me.

"Answer me," he commands.

_Say "no."_

I try to ignore that little voice. I don't want him to know that I am refusing to resist the curse.

_Say "no."_

I have to block this out. I can lie. I'm a master of Occlumency. I can do this.

_Say "no."_

But I don't want to. I want to lie and say "yes." Although, at this point, I guess it isn't much of a lie seeing as I'm fighting it right now. I want to say "yes."

_Say "no."_

"No!" I shout, arguing with the voice in my mind. Severus sighs, obviously believing that I had been speaking to him. "Yes." But he has already dropped the curse.

"What?" he asks.

"I said 'yes.' Yes, I am trying," I reply.

"Yet you shouted 'no' at me," he says.

"I was telling that to the voice in my head," I state.

He smirks. "Even in the Wizarding world, hearing voices is not good."

"Shut up. You know what I mean." I walk to the chair in front of his desk and sit down. "I need to ask you something," I say. He nods, and I take that as a go ahead. "When the Christmas holidays come, the arrangements made with the Dark Lord, will they be the same?"

He pauses for a moment. "And by that you mean?"

"The last Saturday of the month, and only then," I answer.

"I believe so. Nothing has been said to the contrary," he replies. "Why do you ask?"

"I got an invitation for the holiday, and I wanted to go." I smile at him, knowing he's planning to ask to whom I'm close enough to want to spend the holiday with. "Christopher Collins," I say. "You know, second-year, blue eyes, black hair, adorable."

"I don't think of students being 'adorable,' but I know who he is," Severus replies. "And I believe it will be good for you to go somewhere new, away from Hogwarts and Spinner's End and Malfoy Manor. But you'll need quite the excuse to be allowed to go. I'll help you if I can."

I stand to leave.

"And, Charlotte," he calls to me when I reach the door.

"Professor?"

"The Carrows," he says. "Keep an eye on them for me."

"And do just what exactly when I see them doing things they shouldn't?"

"It's difficult for me to protect the students without revealing my true allegiance," he explains. "If there is any way you can protect them without the Carrows learning the truth about you, I implore you to do it. The other students could use as much protection as possible."

"Yes, sir." Then I leave his office and go to the Great Hall for breakfast.

I sit down with the second-years. "Where do you go on Sunday mornings?" Christopher asks.

"I have meetings with a professor," I say.

"Which professor?" Julia questions.

Again with her questions always being so difficult to avoid answering… "Professor McGonagall," I lie. "I go to her for help on how to tutor you four."

"What does she say?" Jacob asks.

I smile. "Well, if I told you now, there would be nothing to look forward to during our lessons!"

Daphne Greengrass comes over and sits down with us, which has become a normal thing since the beginning of this term. Astoria, her sister, joins every now and then, but not as often. "I wonder why Snape never shows up anymore," Daphne says.

"He's an evil git," Emma answers.

An unrequited laugh escapes me. Emma never says things like that. If anyone was going to call Severus an "evil git," I thought it would be Jacob or Christopher. "Do you think we'll ever see his greasy head at a meal again?" Jacob asks. This is not near as unexpected as Emma's comment had been, but we all laugh nonetheless.

"Probably not," Daphne says.

"And if he does," I add. "It will probably be for a very short amount of time before he retreats back to his office."

"I want to know what he does up there," Christopher says quietly. "I want to know why he stays holed up there all the time."

"I think everyone does," Julia replies, just as quietly.

We all stop talking after that, each of us trying to think of what the headmaster could be doing. I don't know much about it, but I do know that he's following Dumbledore's orders, whatever those orders might be. Severus and I haven't had much time to talk about it – well, I haven't had much time to ask about it.

"McGonagall has us learning how to change beetles into buttons," Christopher says. "Are you any good at that?"

I drop my fork onto my plate, gaping at the boy. "Did you just – did you just ask if I could turn a beetle into a button?" I ask, sounding as offended as I can.

His face goes a slight shade of red. "I take that as you can?"

"It's Transfiguration!" I laugh. "Of course I can!"

"So you'll help us?" he replies.

"Haven't I told you that I already got it cleared with the Carrows for me to tutor you?" I ask.

"How long have you been tutoring them?" Daphne joins the conversation.

"Since last year," I answer.

Her face becomes sad. "And that's why you started hanging out with them, isn't it?" she asks quietly, more to herself than any of us. "We mocked you for that…"

"It's no big deal," Jacob assures her. "We used to mock Charlotte for it too."

Daphne smiles sadly. At least I know one good thing that came out of my row with Pansy: Daphne has chosen my side, and I might be able to use her help eventually.

* * *

**Lying to Alecto like she did - good or bad?**

**She is getting better-ish at resisting the curse. Will she have perfected it before she has to go back to Voldemort?**

**Do you think Daphne will actually ever help her with anything?**

**Review!**

**P.S. It's a little early where I am, and I am tired. If you see any errors, feel free to let me know so I can fix it!**


	83. Chapter 83

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I'm in Eastern Time Zone. I was up early so I could post before I had to leave my house. I was busy all day, so I had to get up at seven (after going to sleep at 2 lol). That's why I was tired. I usually do post between nine and ten if I can. I didn't get to this morning 'cause I was making up for lost sleep the other night lol. What time zone are you in?**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I know she can't keep threatening to tell without ever actually telling (that sounds so childish lol). Charlotte is going to play it safe, and that's all I can say about that without giving away too much. She was never a natural at Occlumency; it took time. I didn't want to make her great at resisting the curse so quickly cause that would seem weird. But she does have an advantage with the Occlumency thing.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to give her some kind of blackmail. McGonagall's protection is a big thing for Charlotte. I think you're right about the curse. It would be easier to break it if she was doing something she was against. Daphne will come in handy later, I believe. I see your point about Astoria.**

**Atala444: Thanks for the favorite and the review! Don't worry about the length of a review! I just love getting reviews in general :)**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I hope vacation was great:) I thought it was sweet of him too! I've got some things in mind for the holidays.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss: Thanks for the favorite and the review! Don't you hate having to search for a story you were reading? It's always so difficult lol. I appreciate the review. By "grow fond of each other" do you mean fall in love? P.S. I love your username. It's like most of my fandoms in one name lolol**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you had fun! I think Neville will forgive her too. It's not like she can control who her parents are. And McGonagall vouches for here, which is good.**

**Mother of Abominations: Thanks for the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 83**

I have one more weekend before I will be summoned back to Malfoy Manor, meaning I have one more lesson to learn how to resist the Imperius Curse. If I can't control my mind, I'll be helpless to Voldemort once again.

But there are more pressing issues than just_ my_ wellbeing. Students are in danger, and I promised Severus I would do my best to help. So help I shall.

I'm currently hiding in the bathroom on the first floor. I've seen no sign of the D.A. members or any other students. If all goes well, I'll be the only one wandering around tonight. But I have a backup plan, just in case. Throughout this whole week, I've been sneaking into Filch's office to steal what might help me disguise myself to be him. I can't risk anyone seeing me. This is when my Metamorphmagus skills really come in handy. I guess the easiest thing would have been to use the Disillusionment Charm, but I've been curious as to if I am still able to pull off something this grand with my Metamorphmagus abilities. I haven't done something this large in many years.

I slip his musky-smelling robes over mine, doing my best to ignore the scent. I turn to the mirror and prepare to change my looks when I hear, "What are you doing?"

Startled, I nearly scream, but I keep it contained and turn around to see a ghost standing behind me. "Nothing," I lie. "Who are you?"

"Why are you in here so late?" she asks.

"Nothing," I repeat, biting back my frustration.

"Well, if it's nothing, then I guess you won't mind me going to get –"

"Wait, wait!" I quickly cave. "I'm trying to help someone."

"Who?"

"Why do you care?" I ask. "Who are you?"

"I'm Myrtle," she answers.

"Moaning Myrtle?"

Her face drops, and it's clear to see that she's angry.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly say. "You were the one who was helping Draco last year, right?"

Her face becomes dreamy. "Oh yes," she replies. "I haven't seen him in a while though. Do you know where he is?"

"He's not here this year," I answer. "He was a friend of mine. Thanks for helping him. Now, if you would please give me a minute. And don't tell anyone you saw me."

"Who are you?" she replies.

"Charlotte Rodgers."

"He spoke of you." With that, she's gone. I turn back to the mirror and take deep breaths as I try to picture Filch's face. Slowly, my face becomes like his, and I feel myself growing to his size. My robes tighten around me, and I silently pray that they do not rip.

Then it's over. I smile at my reflection. I look just like Filch. This should be easy now. Quickly, I dash from the room and begin making my way through the corridors. I'm not entirely sure where the Carrows keep their prisoners, but I have a feeling that I should find out. If I stand a chance of releasing any of them or even telling Neville where they are, I need to know where they are.

Amycus Carrow is the professor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts. My best guess would be to check in his office, but deep down, I know this isn't going to be where they keep the "trouble-making" students. My fears are confirmed when I actually reach the office and quietly push the door open. There are no tortured students here. Perhaps they are in Alecto's office. That's where I'm going now.

As I start making my way to the fourth floor, I hear a bone-chilling "meow," and I freeze completely. Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris, walks up to me and stares. I stare back, not able to say anything. The abilities that come with being a Metamorphmagus do not include voice changes. The cat tilts its head to the side as if trying to decide whether or not I'm its real master. From what I hear, the cat and Filch have some kind of connection. I don't know what that could mean, but I know that I do not feel any connection with this cat at all, whatsoever.

She turns around and walks back to the third floor. I bolt, unapologetically and unceremoniously; I just take off running. If Filch finds out what I'm doing, I'll lose all good standing with the Carrows. And that means I'll lose all good standing with the Dark Lord. And that means that McGonagall could easily be put into danger because of my row with Alecto. I will not see McGonagall in harm's way because of my actions.

Alecto's office door is open, and my heart leaps. The other students must be here. I slow down, making sure my steps are quieter, and creep toward the door. When I peer through, my heart sinks again. Only Alecto is in there, which means the students are somewhere else.

Maybe they're in the dungeons. Not the same part where the Slytherins stay, but the _actual_ dungeons. With no better ideas, I take off in that direction. I'm coming around a corner on the second floor and have to stop. Neville and some others, again, are writing on the wall, "_Dumbledore's_ _Army_: _Still Recruiting_." If he sees me, he'll wonder why "Filch" didn't punish him. He and the others quickly vacate the hallway, and I take off again.

I rush toward the dungeons, slowing and quieting again as I get closer. Footsteps and rattling chains are the only things I can hear. This _must_ be where the students are imprisoned. I could have saved so much time by simply checking the dungeons first.

I peer around the corner. There is a young boy chained up, probably a first-year. There is also a little girl. But there are some older students in here as well. Amycus holds a knife. It's hard for me not to scream out. He walks toward the young boy.

"Leave him alone!" one of the older boys commands. I believe he is a Ravenclaw. The Death Eater doesn't even acknowledge the Ravenclaw boy and continues moving toward the young, trembling one. "He's just a kid!"

"He's a kid that needs to learn to respect the Dark Lord!" Amycus replies. The blade slices across the boy's arm, and he screeches, trying desperately to move away. But there is nowhere to go. "Filthy little half-blood." He cuts the boy again, who begins crying out for mercy. This eleven-year-old child would never have guessed that coming to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would lead him to being tortured in the dungeons of a castle.

"What are you doing down here?" I hear.

Slowly, I turn to see Alecto storming toward me, her wand aimed at me. I can't speak; that'll give me away as an imposter.

"I asked you a question," she says.

I shrug.

"Worthless Squib," she mutters. "Get out of here!"

I don't waste a moment. I run. As I turn the corner, I change my appearance back to myself, strip off Filch's robes, and vanish them.

I dart into the Slytherin common room and shut the door behind me, resting my forehead against it, chuckling to myself.

"What were you doing?"

I nearly jump out of my skin. Turning around, I see Christopher standing behind me with his arms crossed, looking quite like a miniature father. "You gave me a fright!" I say to him.

"As did you to me when you never returned to the common room," he replies. Now he definitely looks like a little man disciplining his child. "What were you doing?"

"It doesn't matter, Christopher," I say reassuringly. "It's nothing."

"And 'nothing' kept you out this long?"

My mouth drops open. "I was doing research," I answer. "Nothing came from it, so yeah, nothing kept me out this late."

He smiles. "Only joking," he says. "I was just sitting around. I saw an opportunity, and I took it."

I laugh and wrap my arm around him, walking him over to the entrance to the boys' dormitory. "Can't say I'm not proud of you," I reply. "But you should really get to bed now."

"You should too, you know," he answers.

I smile at him and remain where I stand until he's disappeared. Then I go to my own bed. Well, I try until Daphne grabs me by the arm and pulls me back into the common room before I've even reached the dormitory. "What'd you find out?" she asks quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb," she replies. "I know you were out searching the castle for what the Carrows are doing."

"They're torturing the students – not just with the Cruciatus Curse but with knives and beatings as well," I say. I need to tell someone this, someone who, unlike McGonagall, has no clue about it.

And it has the desired effect. Daphne pales. "What?"

"They're torturing – like cutting and beating and Cruciating. It's…it's bloody awful!" I say.

"We can't let any of the younger ones rebel against them," she states.

I nod, already knowing this.

"Not Christopher, or Julia, or Jacob, or Emma, or even Astoria," she continues. "We've got to tell them!"

This is where I disagree, and I quickly shake my head. "No, that's not a good idea," I say. "If it gets back that we're the ones who told them – that will not go unnoticed!"

"But we can't let them go through that!" she argues. "They have to know why we're suddenly changing our opinion, why we're suddenly saying that they can't rebel!"

"I've always said that," I counter. "You just can't express your opinion anymore. It'll seem like nothing changed." She reluctantly nods. "How did you know I was missing?"

"I saw you leave the room."

I make a mental note to be more careful next time.

* * *

"Before class ends," Alecto Carrow states, "I would like your essays on how the Muggles have been oppressing us wizards." She waves her wand. There are three bags that do not give up an essay. The rest of the essays land on her desk. The Death Eater turns to the three students who did not have an essay to turn in: Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, and Terry Boot. "And just where is your work?"

None of them answer.

"I'll ask one more time," she says. "Where is it?"

"We didn't do it," Terry states, none of them wavering under the woman's intense glare.

There is a low growl in her throat. "And why not?"

"There was nothing to write about," Seamus answers.

"The assignment was –"

"We know what the assignment was," Neville interrupts. "But it's impossible to write an essay on how the Muggles have been oppressing us when they haven't been doing so."

Alecto shouts that they have won themselves detention, just as class ends. They do not seem the least bit perturbed by this. In fact, they seem positively gleeful as we all make our way to our next classes. I walk as close to Neville as I can without drawing too much attention. "Do you think this is a good idea, Neville?" I ask him quietly.

"What do you mean?" he replies just as quietly.

"Openly rebelling," I say. "Don't you think it'll turn against you at some point?"

"When it does, we'll slump back into the shadows," he answers. "We'll never stop rebelling. We'll just be more subtle about it. But that will only happen in the most desperate of circumstances. If Harry is out risking his life to find a way to destroy Voldemort, the least I can do is stand against the Death Eaters inside the walls of Hogwarts."

"Very well," I say. "Then you should know that the Carrows have students imprisoned in the dungeons and are punishing said students with the Cruciatus Curse as well as beating them and torturing them with knives."

He slows a bit. "How do you know this?"

"I was sneaking around last night and saw it," I answer.

"And you didn't do anything to stop them?"

"I was caught by Alecto."

"Then how are you still walking free?"

"Polyjuice Potion," I partially lie. "I was Filch last night."

He smiles. "That's a great idea. Have you got anymore?"

"I ran out last night," I lie again. "And I don't have anything to make it with since I'm not in Potions."

This disappoints him. "I'll try getting someone to make some," he says.

I nod and say goodbye, heading toward Transfiguration.

McGonagall does her best to act as she had last year, but it is easy to see that the stress of the Carrows is taking its toll on her. Of course, I probably only know this because of our nightly meetings, which have become a time for us both to rant and rave over what Hogwarts has become. Then again, I know the truth about Severus, so it's difficult to tarnish his name, but I find a way to do it with the knowledge that it helps him remain "a cowardly, bloody Death Eater," as McGonagall describes him.

After class, I go to the Great Hall and wait for the second-years to arrive. Once I see them, I know something is terribly wrong. Both Julia and Christopher wear the look of having just been crying. I stand and rush to the door where I pull them off to the side, out of the hall and into the corridor. Emma and Jacob look shell-shocked. "What's happened?" I ask frantically.

"I didn't mean to," Christopher whispers.

I look between him and the others, but no one elaborates. "Didn't mean to do what?" I try again.

"You should have heard what she was saying," he replies.

"Who?" I try hard not to shout.

"Carrow," Jacob says.

"What was she saying?" I ask no one in particular.

Christopher wipes his face off. "She was saying things about Muggles!" the boy answers. "I…I couldn't…she can't say that!"

"Christopher," I say logically, "she's been saying that same type of stuff since the beginning of the term. What was different this time?"

"She said they deserve to die!" he erupts.

"Quieter, quieter," I whisper.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Charlotte, she said that they deserve to die."

"She's going to say things, Christopher, but you have to ignore her," I reply.

"But Julia's parents are Muggles!" he argues. "She said Julia's parents deserve to die!"

I look to Julia. "She knows your parents are Muggles?"

The little redheaded girl shakes her head. "No."

I look back to Christopher for an answer. "It was implied!" he defends himself. "Julia's parents are Muggles, Carrow said Muggles deserve to die, therefore she believes Julia's parents deserve to die!"

"Christopher –"

"No, Charlotte," he states. "It hurt Julia. It hurt her."

Julia's face reddens. "I never meant for him to say anything…" she whispers.

"I wasn't _not _going to say anything!" he replies. "Carrow hurt her!"

"But now she's going to hurt you, Christopher," Julia says. "It wasn't worth it."

"It is!" he argues.

"Hold on," I state. "What happened exactly?"

Christopher glances at the other three before saying, "We were in Muggle Studies. Professor Carrow was saying that Muggles deserve to die. I could tell that it hurt Julia. So I said some things –"

"Shouted some things is more like it," Emma interjects.

Christopher continues, "She didn't take kindly to it –"

"She gave him detention, Charlotte!" Julia wails.

"We hear rumors," Jacob adds quietly. "We know what goes on in those detentions…"

Christopher begins trembling. Daphne walks up at that moment. I say to her, "Stay with the three of them." I put my arm around Christopher and lead him away from the Great Hall.

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"Don't worry about it." I pick up the pace, making sure to keep my arm around him. "I'm not going to let you serve that detention."

"But –"

"When is it?"

"Friday and Saturday."

I groan but continue running with him until I reach the gargoyle statue. "Stay here," I command. He does, and I whisper the password to the statue then run up to Severus's office.

I knock frantically until I hear him give me permission to enter. "Charlotte?" he asks.

"Severus," I say, not caring about the portraits on the wall being able to hear me. "Do you have any Polyjuice Potion?"

"Why do you need it?" he replies.

"Christopher Collins – the second-year – got detention," I answer. "I'm going to take it for him."

"You don't need the potion to become someone else," he counters.

"But he does! I can't just disappear altogether. We have to become each other, so there will be no questions asked!"

"Why do you have to take it for him?"

"You know what the Carrows do, professor! You know I can't let him go through that! He's my brother – er, my adopted brother."

"I wish I could help," he replies. "But I don't have any. I don't make potions anymore."

"I understand," I huff. Then I leave his office without another word.

"Why were you talking to Snape, Charlotte?" Christopher asks.

And I see the flaw in my plan. I hadn't even thought about Christopher waiting out here. I panicked thinking about this little kid – who I have claimed to be my brother – being punished by the Carrows. I open my mouth to come up with some excuse. None comes.

* * *

**Did any of you expect little Christopher to be the one of the group to get detention?**

**What do you think will happen with that?**

**What about the ending - Charlotte has made a big mistake, right? How will she play that off?**

**Review!**


	84. Chapter 84

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, lol. I've never had someone tell me my brain is fabulous hahaha. I'm thinking it will be around 110 chapters, but I'm not completely sure about that.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I am so glad the story doesn't get old. I have a fear that people are going to get tired of it, so it's good to know that you aren't getting tired of it! I try really hard to capture the Gryffindor spirit lol**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I'm not really planning on them falling in love, but you never know lol. I think Christopher is stronger than the others too. And I think Charlotte would go through more extreme measures for him.**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I usually wake up around nine and post them go back to sleep lol. It's okay if you can't review!**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! They don't have Polyjuice Potion, so they'll have to think of something else :) I'm glad you were caught off guard by Snape and Charlotte. I was really hoping no one would see it coming :)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! There are so many ways that this could go, but I don't want to spoil anything lol. So I will simply agree that it is complicated and that your suggestions are great :)**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! (80) I hope she gets to go to Christopher's for Christmas, but you never know… (81) Christopher is the sweet and innocent one. So I chose him lol**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! You've told me that he is your favorite. I don't think he'll die from detention:)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I chose Christopher because he's the most innocent of the group lol. We'll just have to wait and see how she resolves this…**

* * *

**CHAPTER 84**

The two of us – Christopher and I – stand in the corridor, staring at each other. I'm sure my eyes are just as wide as his, but neither of us speaks. I've made a huge mistake. I should have just allowed him to go into the Great Hall with the others. This could not possibly get any worse. I could very well have just blown both my cover as well as Snape's. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, Charlotte?" the boy asks, reminding me again of a miniature father scolding a child. He adds quietly, "You know I'll never hold anything against you."

"There are things going on, Christopher," I say calmly, "that I cannot speak of."

"Are you connected to Snape and the Carrows?" he questions.

"Not necessarily," I say.

"Explain."

"I'm connected to Snape, not the Carrows. The Carrows simply fear me," I reply.

"Explain," he repeats.

I take a deep breath. "Come with me." I take him by the arm and lead him to the same empty room into which I had taken the Golden Trio. "There are things I guess I should tell you before you find out otherwise. But I cannot go into detail."

He nods. "I'm ready."

"Against my will – I need you to know that this is _entirely_ against my will – I am being forced to serve Voldemort –"

"What?" he asks. "What is he making you do?"

I close my eyes. "I can't tell you," I whisper.

"Well, why not?"

"It will put you in grave danger," I reply.

"Do you think I'm afraid of danger?"

"I know you're not, and that's precisely why I cannot tell you," I answer. "There are some types of danger that you should fear."

"I don't understand, Charlotte," he says. "What does this have to do with Snape?"

"Severus is a Death Eater who is…doing things on behalf of Voldemort," I reply. "He is helping me get through what I have to do."

"'Severus'?" Christopher asks. "Just how close are the two of you?"

"He's a good friend of mine," I admit. "He's been helping me for three years now. I thought he would have Polyjuice Potion so I could take your place in detention."

"I won't let you take –"

I throw my hand up to quiet him. "He didn't have any."

"Why do the Carrows fear you?"

"It's not me exactly. It's the Dark Lord they fear. And I am in a good standing with him," I say. "He wants me safe and comfortable, and the Carrows have been charged with that duty." I put my hand on his shoulder and lower myself so I am eyelevel with him. "Christopher, this is confidential stuff. No one – and I strictly mean no one – can know about this. People could get killed if it's discovered that they know."

He nods. "So…so Snape isn't…he isn't actually bad?"

"In a way he is," I say. "But toward me, he isn't."

"But the Carrows are?"

"Completely."

"And this detention – it's going to hurt, isn't it?"

"I'm going to get you out," I assure him. "I'm not sure how yet, but I will get you out. You have to believe that."

The little boy wraps his arms around me. "I believe you." He's quiet for a moment. "Is – whatever it is that you have to do for You-Know-Who – is that why you might have to leave early over the holidays?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "Does this throw a wrench into those plans?"

"Not at all."

* * *

"I can't stay long tonight, professor," I say regretfully. I'm in McGonagall's office. It's Friday night, the night I have to save Christopher from the Carrows.

"What's happened?" she asks. I give a brief explanation of Christopher being in detention and me needing to save him. I don't have a chance to finish before McGonagall says, "Absolutely not."

"Professor?" I reply.

"You cannot risk yourself. It's honorable that you want to help the boy –"

"My little brother," I say firmly.

"It's honorable and loving that you want to save your little brother," McGonagall amends her statement, "but you cannot risk your entire life to save him from two days' worth of punishment."

"You know what goes on in those detentions, professor," I argue. "I can't sit idle by. I have to help him."

"Charlotte, I know what goes on in those detentions, yes, but I also know what goes on when you're around He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," she replies. "And I don't want him hurting you because you stepped in the way of the Carrows."

"Professor, I can come up with some excuse. I can use the Disillusionment Charm," I counter. "I can get out of anything that they throw at me, and you know it. I don't understand why you don't want me doing this. He's twelve! I have to help him!"

"You could die," she says. "Bellatrix could Cruciate you like she did to the Longbottoms. You-Know-Who could find a way to torment you even more. I can't let you risk yourself."

"But –"

"Charlotte," she interrupts me, standing to her feet, quite an intimidating gesture. I feel myself shrink back. "You are the only daughter I have ever had. I _cannot_ let you walk into that kind of danger."

My mouth drops open. This was not what I had expected her to say. Without a word, I slowly stand to my feet and go around her desk and wrap my arms around her. After a few minutes, I say quietly, "And you are the only real mother I've ever had." Mrs. Stoico had been important to me, but she was nothing like what McGonagall has been. "But if I'm your daughter and Christopher is my brother, that means he's your son."

She laughs quietly. "It doesn't quite work that way," she replies.

I pull away. "But professor, he _is_ my brother. I have to save him. I have to."

"I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that you need to do this," she says softly. "Draco needed you, and you helped him the best you could. I shouldn't expect any different from you when it comes to Christopher."

"I'll come back here once I've gotten him safely away," I tell her.

She nods. "Take care of yourself."

Before I leave for the door, I throw my arms around her once more. "You truly are the only real mother I've had," I say quietly.

I look into her eyes for just a moment before casting the Disillusionment Charm over myself and leaving the office. Then I cast the Silencing Charm on myself as well and dash through the corridors, making my way to the dungeons as fast as possible.

I'm on the first floor when I see Terry Boot writing the typical Dumbledore's Army calling. As I pass him, I take the Silencing Charm off of myself just long enough to say, "Keep up the good work." Then I put the charm back on myself and laugh at the boy's terrified expression. He is still searching for the source of the compliment when I descend the stairs to the dungeons.

Alecto is coming up as I go down. I point my wand at her. "_Stupefy_," I say to myself. She's hit and falls to the floor, completely unconscious. I grab her under her arms and drag her into the first door I see. It's some type of storage closet. "_Petrificus Totalus_." I laugh to myself as I then throw the Disillusionment and Silencing Charms over her. I leave her there and head back to the dungeons.

I haven't even reached the place where I know Christopher is being imprisoned when I hear Amycus Carrow shouting, "What kind of a Slytherin are you?"

There's a whimper of pain.

"The Dark Lord doesn't take kindly to disloyalty!" Amycus screams.

"Just let him go!" another shrieks.

Christopher screams out again.

My adrenaline kicks in.

"_Crucio!"_

Christopher's wails of agony echo through my ears, and I speed up until I can see Amycus. "_Stupefy!_" I shout, not caring that I'm under the Silencing Charm. The Death Eater collapses. All of the prisoners – there are about seven – look up, wild-eyed, trying to find me. I point my wand at each of their bindings and release all of them. I remove my Silencing Charm and say, "Run."

I help Christopher to his feet, cast the Disillusionment Charm over him, and begin dashing back through the castle. "Where are we going?" he groans, obviously trying to contain the pain he feels.

"Quiet," I order. We continue running until I've reached McGonagall's office. I throw the door open and step inside. "Professor!"

She stands up from her desk. "Charlotte?"

I take the charms off of me and Christopher. His face and arms are bloodied. He winces with every movement. "Can you help him?" I ask quietly as I lead him over to a chair and force him to sit. "Do you know how?" This is a flaw in my magical studies. I should learn how to heal people.

She nods and walks over to us. I pace back and forth. "Calm down, Charlotte," the professor says before she begins healing Christopher.

"I'm trying," I reply. "It's just…Amycus could wake up any moment. I'll give you three guesses as to where he might come looking."

"And Alecto?" she asks, taking a step away from the thoroughly healed, but drained, little second-year.

"Even if she wakes up, she won't be able to do anything because –"

There is a vicious knock at the door. Without a word, I turn to Christopher and throw the Disillusionment Charm over him. McGonagall grabs him and pulls him behind her desk where she makes him hide. Then she sits. "Come in!" she calls.

Amycus bursts into the office. "You!" he shouts, pointing at me. "Do you know anything about what's just happened?"

"What?" I ask.

"Do you know where the other students have gone?" he asks. "Where is my sister?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I lie.

"You're coming with me," he commands. As he drags me from the room, I give McGonagall an encouraging smile.

"Where are we going?" I ask innocently.

"You're the only student we know is serving the Dark Lord. You have to find out who did this. You have to find my sister. You have to turn this culprit in," he answers.

"And if I don't want to?" I reply. "That'll ruin my cover."

"I don't care if you don't want to!" he shouts. "You're the only one who can!" We stop in front of the gargoyle statue that leads to Severus's office. Amycus barks the password, and we go up the steps.

He doesn't knock; he just throws the door open and storms in. Forcefully, he shoves me inside, and I don't know whether he meant to push me that hard or not, but I fall to the floor. "Well," I say as I struggle to my feet, "that was rude."

"What is the meaning of this?" Severus asks.

"Someone helped the students escape detention!" the Carrow brother roars. "And she," he jabs an accusing finger at me, "refuses to help find out just who did it!"

Severus's black eyes glance at me before focusing back on the other Death Eater. "And you believe that it's safe for her to parade around the castle as a follower of the Dark Lord, that the students will not give it a second thought?" he asks.

Amycus doesn't respond.

"Of course, if she were to join the opposition," the headmaster says, "she could more easily find out who is behind all of the problems."

"A spy," Amycus agrees with a smile. "And that means –"

"That anything she does to rebel against either you or your sister, or even me for that matter, will go unpunished because she is simply trying to play the part," Severus states.

Amycus's smile becomes dark and cruel. "Yes, I like this very much," he says. "This will make things easier." He turns to me. "Find my sister. Find the students. Find out who did this."

"And what will happen to the students I find?" I ask.

"They'll continue their punishment, of course," he answers.

"But if I'm the only who finds them, won't it be pretty obvious who turned them over?" I ask. "I mean, I'll find them for you, but continuing their detention probably isn't the best idea."

Carrow thinks about it for a moment. "I see your point. Detentions are out for those who escaped. Just find who did it. And find my sister."

I nod.

"The person who did this will suffer either way," he assures me. Then he leaves.

I look back at Severus, who is smiling just as wide as I am. "And you're welcome," he says.

"Thanks so much," I laugh. "Life just a got a great deal easier for me."

"It'd be even easier if you came around more, like you did last year," he comments.

"You're busy," I reply.

"I value your opinion and your ideas. It would be good to hear them," he says. "And sometimes the portraits are more annoying than you can be."

"I'll make sure to come around more often then, professor," I answer. "But right now, I have a culprit to catch." I laugh and leave his office.

When I reach McGonagall's office, I don't knock. I just enter. And when I do, I see Christopher sitting in front of the professor's desk, sipping on a cup of tea. "Hi, Charlotte," he greets me.

"Hi," I say slowly as I go to take a seat next to him. "I expected you to be back in the common room by now."

"I was going to wait on you," he replies. "Professor McGonagall said you'd probably be back."

"Am I that predictable?"

"Yes," McGonagall answers with a smile.

"I guess I should let the two of you know," I say. "I am officially a spy for the Death Eaters. I am to find out what the students are doing and who the ringleader is."

"What do you plan on saying happened tonight?" Christopher asks.

That's a good question. A few plans crossed my mind as I made my way back here. The only problem is that I will legitimately need Polyjuice Potion this time. And no one has that. Besides, I wouldn't even begin to know who to ask. It would have to be someone who is brave enough to not worry about the consequences. The only person I can think of who would be that courageous is Neville, but I don't know if I'd want us to become each other. It could lead to some awkward situations.

There's always Ginny, I guess. But I don't want to endanger Fred's sister. Or would it be better for me to ask her? If Fred finds out I'm doing things to bring down the Death Eaters' reign in Hogwarts, maybe he'll forgive me. But if something happened to her because of me, he would never forgive me. Ginny is out. I can't ask her.

Luna is part of the D.A. as well. Perhaps I can ask her. Beyond the three of them, there is no one I feel I could trust.

But all of this is just speculation.

Ginny might know everything about me; I can't be sure. She hasn't spoken to me about it. Neville will have to know eventually, and I now plan to tell him either way. But I'm not sure if I want Luna knowing the truth about me.

"You haven't thought that far, have you?" Christopher asks.

"I've got some ideas…" I say vaguely. "But I'm unsure if any of them will work."

"What makes you unsure?" McGonagall replies.

I look between the professor and Christopher. I lower my voice. "Because that requires one of the students to know the full truth, and I just don't think I'm ready to put that kind of faith in someone." I meet McGonagall's eyes, praying she understands.

"The truth about Snape?" the boy asks.

"What about Snape?" McGonagall quickly questions.

My heart drops, leaving my chest cold. I focus on McGonagall. If I can convince her that what I'm about to say is a lie, then not all is lost. "Professor Snape and I," I say slowly, "are good friends. He has been helping me for a few years now."

She seems to understand that I'm trying to convey a lie, a lie that I have told Christopher. "Yes," she replies. "I believe we've spoken about that before."

Christopher doesn't seem to register any of what just passed between me and the professor.

* * *

**How do you think Charlotte is going to get away with what she has just done?**

**When will she "find" Alecto?**

**What about Severus manipulating Amycus into making Charlotte a spy?**

**Review!**


	85. Chapter 85

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! Slytherins know how to get around things lol. She should definitely keep track of all of her lies.**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! I've got some things in mind for her being a spy, but they'll come up later. There's more pressing issues she has to deal with:) I have actually written the epilogue lol. Not everything is planned out, but a good amount is (it is subject to change). Why?**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, it took a while for me to think up an acceptable excuse, but I was pretty pleased with that one lol. I'm planning on using some of those doors later on:) I appreciate your suggestions. They always give me ideas!**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte does have a way of playing the angles and getting out of stuff lol. The extreme measures are talking about in this chapters (if you mean the measures taken by Amycus to punish whoever set the students free)**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I am actually already planning some of those conversations. They just have to come up the right way, of course. Hahaha, I would do that to Alecto, but that would negate too much of canon :(**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! That's definitely why everyone loves Snape. He's so good at manipulation lol**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I wish she wouldn't have to find Alecto either, but it's necessary to stay canon lol. I tried write it in a way that it _could_ have happened in the original story :)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say too much about what she'll do. I don't want to give away spoilers lol. You'll just have to wait and see;)**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say much about who she goes to and what happens. I don't give spoilers lol. You'll just have to wait and see!**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say what Charlotte is going to do. Obliviating some of their memories and changing some would be useful, but it would be obvious. Perhaps she can tone them down a bit, but they're already labeled for their punishments. But you're right. Charlotte is really the only one who can get control of this:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 85**

I'm pacing back and forth in front of Severus's desk (willingly, not because of the Imperius Curse). "I don't know," I say quietly. "I don't think I can."

"We're not going to give up now," he replies. "You will not continue to lose to him. This is something you must do."

"But…what if I can't?" I whisper. "What if I can't resist the curse?"

"You will," he assures me.

"But just say –"

"Then, hopefully, hearing my screams of agony will give you the mental confidence you need to break free," he interrupts me. "You'll do fine."

I take a deep breath. I don't think I'll be able to resist the Imperius Curse, and if I am unable, I will be placing Severus under the Cruciatus Curse. This is his grand scheme to get me to overcome the blissful happiness that the Imperius Curse will give me. He firmly believes that the happiness will be overshadowed by the pain I'm causing him.

But I don't want to risk this. He's putting too much faith in me.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Not at all."

"What a shame," he replies. "_Im –"_

The portrait of Dumbledore speaks up, saying, "Severus, if I may say something to Miss Rodgers."

The current headmaster turns to the portrait of the former. "Of course, Albus."

"Miss Rodgers," Dumbledore addresses me, "I have seen you manipulate your thoughts with hardly any trouble. I have seen you direct me through your thoughts, showing only what you wanted to show. I have witnessed you being thrown backward as I attempted to penetrate your mind, yet you did not break a single time. Severus has informed me that you kept Lord Voldemort out of your mind on many occasions. I believe, Miss Rodgers, that you are more than capable of resisting the Imperius Curse. I believe you just do not have enough confidence in yourself. But I, along with Severus, have enough confidence and faith in you."

Severus looks back at me. "Are you ready?" he asks.

I ignore the emotion building in me and nod. "I believe I am."

"_Imperio!"_

My mind blanks, leaving behind an immense, carefree bliss. It's so difficult to say I want to leave this state. Well, honestly it's a lie to say I want to leave this state. I'd like to stay here forever.

And I believe I would wish to stay like this until I hear, "You know what to do, Charlotte," come from Severus.

I feel my hand raise my wand. I can't do this. I can't Cruciate him. He's one of my greatest friends. I can't do this to him, but I can't stop myself either. "_Crucio!"_ I shout. Severus falls to the stone floor, screaming in pain. I can't do this. I won't do this. Jerking my hand away, I take the curse off of him. He instantly stops screaming and pulls himself to his feet.

"And it's that easy," he says softly.

"'That easy'?" I scoff. "'That easy'? What would have happened had I not been able to stop myself?"

"I'd be on the floor right now," he answers dryly. "Again. _Imperio!"_

That same amazing feeling floods through me once more.

"You know what to do," he says.

My hand rises again, pointing my wand at him. I close my eyes. I don't want to do this. I won't do this. I push through the effects of the curse, breaking the happiness to arrive back into my normal mind. "No," I say firmly, lowering my wand. "No. I won't do it."

A smile spreads across the faces of both Severus and the portrait Dumbledore. "All you needed was confidence, and a nice reason to be forced to break free," Dumbledore says.

"And it will be that easy this Saturday," Severus tells me.

"But not really," I comment.

"It _will_ be," he repeats. "It will be."

"And as for the rest of our agreement?" I ask quietly.

He looks away from me.

"You can't back out now," I state. "You can't. You know why I have to do this."

"I know," he sighs. "I'll figure something out."

I nod.

"What have you decided to tell the Carrows?" he asks.

"Honestly?" I reply. "I have no idea. I think…I think I might try switching places with someone. But that depends on if Neville managed to get the Polyjuice Potion."

"Who would you become?"

"I'm leaning toward Neville or Ginny," I answer. "But I don't want to choose Neville because that could be awkward later, depending on how long we're in each other's places. But if I choose Ginny and something happens to her…Fred will never forgive me."

"I see your dilemma," he says quietly. "Why must you use either of them?"

"They're Gryffindors – so I know they're brave – but they've both made it very open that they're against the Carrows. No one would question it," I reply.

He nods. "Choose Longbottom."

"Why him?"

"It's better to risk a few moments of awkwardness than the wellbeing of the sister of the one you love," he answers.

I don't say anything, but I know he's right. Neville was always the one I would have to choose. I knew from the moment I conjured up this plan. "I have to tell him, don't I?" I ask quietly. "I have to tell him who I am…why I'm doing this…"

"I don't believe it is absolutely necessary, but it is advised," he agrees.

"He's going to hate my guts."

"Just because you are the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange does not mean you _are_ Bellatrix Lestrange."

"Touché," I reply. Without a care as to what might be said, I give him a hug. "Thank you, Severus, for everything."

Surprisingly, he returns the embrace. "I'll be here if you need me," he says.

"I know."

We break apart. "How is young Collins?"

"Shaken but fine," I say. "Professor McGonagall helped him. I took him back to her after I rescued him."

"Watch him," Severus says. "He could very well be in danger. The Carrows won't forget that he was in detention the night of the escape."

"I'll make sure he stays safe," I reply.

"You should probably head up to breakfast," he suggests. "It will be suspicious if you don't show up."

"Right you are, professor." I turn and leave his office to meet up with my friends for breakfast. This is my last week before I am sent to Voldemort once again. Then I have another three weeks before I have to go back to him. This is going to be a difficult school year to make it through.

I pass Neville in the corridor, stop, turn around, grab him by the arm, and pull him to the side. "Have you gotten any of the Polyjuice Potion?" I ask him.

"Why?" he replies.

"We need to use it – the two of us," I say.

"Why?"

I close my eyes. There isn't another way. He has to know. "We have to switch places," I answer. "And we have to do it soon. The Carrows believe me to be a spy for them. I released those students in from detention last Friday night. Yes, that was me, but they can't know that. They know that you're against them. If we can switch places, you can turn me in, and I'll take the punishment that is due. But they won't know it's me."

He seems confused. "Why do they think you're a spy for them?"

"It's a long story but if they learn that I am against them, they'll turn me over to the Dark Lord," I say, "and I'll be taken from Hogwarts and detained."

"When do we need to do this?"

"The first step must be taken before tomorrow, because Alecto could very well die," I reply.

"I've got some in my room," Neville says. "Ginny swiped it from Slughorn."

"We need to do it soon," I say. "I have to get Alecto out of the storage closet thing."

"I'll go get it."

"Meet me in the girl's bathroom on the first floor – the one where Moaning Myrtle stays," I say. "And bring an extra set of your robes."

We separate, Neville to the Gryffindor Tower and me the Slytherin Dungeon.

Less than ten minutes later, we meet back up inside Myrtle's bathroom. We exchange the extra robes and step into the stalls to change. When we step back out, I can't help but laugh at him. He's a head taller than me, so my robes are tight and short on him, hitting the middle of his calf. The sleeves only go halfway down his forearm.

"Shut up," he chuckles, looking into the mirror and laughing at himself. "You're swallowed whole by my robes."

"But I don't look like Hagrid trying to fit into Snape's robes!" I reply, waving my wand and making two glasses appear. Smiling, he splits the potion between the two of us. We both pluck a strand of our hair and swap them. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose," he answers.

I drop Neville's hair into the potion. Its bubbly, muddy appearance changes to a rich red. I can't help but steal a glance at what mine has become. It has assumed the look of molten silver. Silently wondering what makes the potions look different, I drink the red essence of Neville. The taste is not what I had expected; it's sweet.

Both Neville and I put our glasses down and look into the mirrors. My insides churn as if there are tiny creatures running around inside me. I collapse on all fours. My skin bubbles like it's hot wax. I gasp in pain. Being a Metamorphmagus, I don't experience pain like this when I become someone else. My fingers elongate, and my shoulders broaden. It's hard for me not to scream out. My head prickles, and I know that my hair is being retracted to look like Neville's. And soon enough, the robes that had previously "swallowed me whole" now fit me perfectly, and the pain is over.

I turn to look at Neville. "Are you okay?" I ask him, realizing then that I sound just like him.

"Do I really sound like that?" he replies.

"Do _I _really sound like _that_?" I answer, pushing to my feet.

"What do we do now?" he asks. "How should we play this off?"

"We're going to walk out of here like nothing happened," I say. "After breakfast, go find Amycus and say it was me – or you, technically – who released the students from detention. He'll take it from there."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks me.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get used to seeing myself speak to me. "I'm positive. It's the only way." I change the glasses into flasks and hand him his. "Keep this and use it until I see you again. Then we'll just wait on it to wear off."

Neville nods and puts the flask into his robes – or, rather, my robes. We leave the bathroom.

"When you get there – to his office," I say to him as we walk through the corridors, "just tell him that you've found the culprit who released the students from detention. He'll probably send you away after you've snitched on yourself. If he does, don't worry about finding anyone else. And if the second-years or Daphne Greengrass finds you –"

"The ones you're usually with?"

"The very same," I answer. "Just don't say anything. I don't want this plan failing because you don't know random trivia about me. If they ask what's wrong, just tell them that you're overwhelmed with some stuff. They understand when I'm like that."

"And you get like this often?" he replies.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"If I come out of this thing alive, I might tell you," I say. "But I'll seek advice before I do. If they don't think it's a good idea, then I won't. I'm sorry, but that's just how it's got to be."

"Who are you going to ask?"

I sigh. "McGonagall." He at least deserves to know that.

"She knows?"

"She knows everything about me."

We've reached the Great Hall. "Good luck, Charlotte."

"You too, Neville." We separate and go inside.

I make my way to the Gryffindor table, something I wish I could do every day instead of only when I'm disguised as Neville. I sit near Ginny and Seamus. We're relatively quiet for the duration of breakfast. I walk with them back to the Gryffindor common room, and my heart aches when I see the place. It's cozier than the Slytherin common room. The colors are warm and inviting instead of harsh and cold.

Without caring about the others around, I go to the window and look out it. Why is it that I got placed in Slytherin where the only windows reveal what's beneath the surface of the Black Lake and the Gryffindors get to see most of the Hogwarts grounds? The thought makes me slightly bitter. Why is my luck this bloody awful?

"Neville!" I hear someone shout.

I quickly turn and see Lavender Brown entering the common room.

"Carrow is coming for you!" she warns. "He believes you're responsible for the students escaping detention on Friday."

"That's ridiculous!" Seamus argues. "We all know that he was in here, in the common room. We were discussing how to get them out, but we never actually did!"

"He can't do that!" Ginny says. "He has no proof!"

"I'll take care of it," I say.

"Do you really think that Carrow is going to listen to a thing you've got to say about it?" Ginny replies.

"I don't quite know what they'll do," I reply. "But I can't very well hide, can I?"

Without waiting for an answer, I walk out of the Gryffindor common room and feel my bitterness rise a little more at the fact that I will never be a Gryffindor again. Amycus approaches me at an alarming speed until he's grabbed me by the neck and has slammed me against the wall. "Neville Longbottom," he hisses, tightening his grip on my throat, "where is my sister?"

"You mean you haven't found her yet?" I ask with a slight chuckle.

Amycus whips his wand out and shoves it against my face. "You have three seconds to tell me where she is."

I wait until he begins counting before I say, "First floor. Storage closet by the stairs."

The Death Eater grabs me by the shoulder and shoves me along with him until we've reached the room where I've hidden Alecto. "This one?" he asks.

"Yep."

He throws the door open, and we see nothing. Amycus puts me on the floor. "WHERE IS SHE?" he roars.

"In there," I say.

He walks into the closet and falls over her, landing on the floor beside her. "Alecto?" he asks quietly. He waves his wand at her, and the Disillusionment Charm breaks. He removes the Silencing Charm as well as the Body-Binding Curse. "Is he the one who did this to you?"

Alecto sits up and smiles a thanks at her brother then glares at me. "I can't be sure," she says darkly, "I was hit from behind."

"So much for the courage of a Gryffindor," Amycus snarls.

The two of them leave the tiny room and grab me up, leading me to the dungeons. So this isn't exactly my best idea ever, but it's better than letting someone else take the blame. I don't know if I could live knowing that someone took the punishment for me. I'm thrown onto my face in the dungeons. "TWO DAYS!" Alecto shrieks. "FOR TWO DAYS I WAS LOCKED IN THAT BLOODY CLOSET!"

"And yet you still seem as perpetually ill-tempered," I reply. A foot rams into my back, harshly shoving me back to the floor. "I thought a few days would have given you time to cool down."

"SHUT UP!" Amycus growls. "You're going to learn the meaning of respect!"

"Well, if you're teaching it to me, then I can't be learning 'respect,'" I answer.

"Then you'll learn to fear the Dark Lord!" Alecto screams.

"You smell funny," I say to her. "Perhaps you should go take a shower?" A blunt object slams into my face, and I'm forced onto my side. Judging by the pounding in my nose and the bone-chilling crack it made, I'm fairly certain it's broken. The same blunt object, which I now see is a bat (it's nice to know that the Quidditch equipment is being put to good use), crashes onto my back. I yelp and curl up.

"It's a shame that the Gryffindor courage has abandoned you," Amycus taunts me. "What would your parents think?"

"DON'T SPEAK OF THEM!" I erupt.

"Don't like to hear the stories of mummy and daddy?" Alecto asks sweetly. "Did you know that they begged, like dogs, for mercy? Bellatrix herself has told us."

I know this is a lie, but I can't comment. Instead, with one fluid motion, I pull my legs up under myself, jump up to a standing position, and throw my fist across Alecto's face. "Bellatrix Lestrange had no right –"

The bat flies across my face again, and I wind up on the floor, in even more pain than before. "You'll learn, Neville Longbottom!" Amycus shouts.

I don't have time to retort because I'm busy screaming from the knife that has just pierced my calf. I try to struggle away, but that only rips the blade down the length of my leg, and I have to stop moving.

"Beg, Longbottom!" Alecto laughs. "Beg like your filthy blood traitor parents!"

"Never," I say through my agony.

The knife is yanked out of my leg, and Amycus slices it across my face.

* * *

**She finally resisted the Imperius Curse. Was that stupid on Snape's part for allowing her to Cruciate him?**

**Will McGonagall advise Charlotte to tell Neville the truth or not?**

**Should Charlotte have mouthed off to the Carrows like she did?**

**Review!**


	86. Chapter 86

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! They don't know that it's Charlotte, and Charlotte can't tell. I can't say what will happen with Neville. It'll come soon enough:)**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! She has to be brave with everything she goes through lol. I originally got the idea because I wanted to Snape to have someone who is in a situation similar to his (pretending to serve the Dark Lord when not really serving him). I also wanted to have a character who sees the other side of the war, not the side the Harry saw.**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! She's not trying to get herself killed, because at this point the Carrows don't want to kill a pureblooded wizard. She doesn't have a plan. She's going to wait for everything to end… I think Neville will see that she is different from Bellatrix**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, I try to keep him in character, but he's different when he's around just Charlotte, because they're relationships is different. I think if McGonagall believes Neville knowing will help Charlotte, she'll advise Charlotte telling. I like getting suggestions, because even if I don't use the suggestions itself, I get an idea from it:)**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte definitely needed an incentive to break the curse. Snape is definitely the bravest character in the Harry Potter series, but he wouldn't have been a good Gryffindor. If McGonagall thinks that Neville knowing will help Charlotte, I think she'll tell Charlotte to let Neville know. The effects of the potion can last up to twelve hours depending on how well it's brewed. Since Ginny took it from Slughorn, the effects will last at least a few hours.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! No, Christopher and Charlotte are strictly siblings. He sees her as his deceased sister Helena, and she sees him as the little brother she never had. They'll never be more than that. P.S. "Char" doesn't fit Charlotte's personality lol.**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, she is. It's a good thing she has such a strong will lol. Hugs:) lol**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! I thought the Carrows would be the type to get a little crazy with their torturing lol. I can't say what she's going to do. I don't give spoilers :) My teeth are fine, thanks for asking!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! While Charlotte is a bit like a Gryffindor, she didn't actually take Neville's punishment. It was her punishment but she took it in Neville's body so the Carrows would not know that it was actually her :) I think she'll tell him too.**

**Like. : Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**Cookie Monster: Thanks for the favorite and the follow!**

* * *

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (72) I think the relationship will mend, too. It typically does. (73) You don't think the Carrows will obey a direct order from the Dark Lord? (74) It was wrong to use Lily against him, but it was necessary. (75) They always put stuff behind them. (76) She'll definitely have to go back. (77) I wanted to catch people off guard with their agreement. (78) I hope their arrangement lasts. (79) I wanted a Muggle-born in Slytherin. (80) I'm glad I caught you off guard! (81) Neville's a nice guy. (82) She had to do something to protect McGonagall (83) She definitely made a mistake. Perhaps she can dig her way out of it. **

* * *

**CHAPTER 86**

My hands are chained above my head, and my feet are chained together. The Carrows left the dungeons roughly fifteen minutes ago, leaving me chained and bloody. Drops of blood tickle as they run from my torn wrists down to my shoulders. There is not an inch of my body that does not ache from the Carrows' punishment.

But I gave Neville clear orders not to try to come get me. This has to be played out as the Carrows see fit. If not, then it will never end. And this must end.

I rest my head on my arm and close my eyes. I'll definitely need McGonagall when this is over. She will probably take me to Madam Pomfrey, but I am okay with that. I just want this pain gone. And all the markings must be gone before I go to Voldemort in a week – well, less than a week actually. I have five and a half days before I have to go see him again. The thought aches more than my wounds.

A heavy boot kicks me in the chest. I wake up from the pain and cough, trying to catch my breath. "Come along, Longbottom," Alecto says. "It's high time we make an example of you."

"As if you already haven't done enough," I growl.

Her boot slams into my knee, and again I cry out in agony. Then she bends down and releases my chains. "Get up," she commands.

I take the chain in my hand and haul myself to my feet, keeping back the groan that I so desperately want to cry. Amycus grabs me by the back of the neck. "She said to come along!" he shouts. Keeping his hand around my neck, the Carrow brother forces me to hobble out of the dungeons. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to grunt with each step. My calf is nearly split completely open, which makes holding back my pain a much grander task than I thought it would be.

But if I can live with what Voldemort has done to me, I can walk without shouting in pain. I have the will.

The Death Eaters lead me into the Great Hall. The rest of the students are already gathered for dinner. The Carrows tortured me through lunch and most of the day. Blood trickles into my eye. I do my best to wipe it out with my shoulder. "Crying, are you, Longbottom?" Amycus laughs. "Serves you right."

"I won't cry over the physical pain you've caused me," I say boldly. "You're not worth it."

His grip on my neck tightens, and he pushes me toward the staff table. McGonagall's face pales, as do the faces of most of the professors. Severus isn't at the table. I partly wish he was. I think it would make it easier if I could see him and be reminded of why I'm doing this. But he's not here. So I have to suck up my pain and step onto the platform that holds the table. The Carrows turn me to the students who are now in a subdued silence.

"LOOK UPON YOUR CLASSMATE, YOUNG WITCHES AND WIZARDS!" Alecto screams through the Great Hall. "TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID, LONGBOTTOM!"

"I released the students from detention," I mumble.

Amycus punches me in the face. "SAY IT LOUDER!" he shouts.

"I released the students from detention!" I say loudly. "The students who were wrongly being punished!"

Fury turns the Carrows' faces red.

I glance at McGonagall, who is watching Neville (as me) closely. No doubt she's disappointed in me for letting "Neville" take the punishment for what I did. I have to find a way to tell her the truth. She has to know that I did not let Neville take my detention.

"MR. LONGBOTTOM IS YOUR EXAMPLE!" Amycus announces. "SHOULD ANY OF YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO RISE AGAINST US, YOU WILL SUFFER AS MUCH AS HE!"

The Death Eater shoves me off the platform and onto my face on the floor. Amycus and Alecto laugh as I struggle to my feet and limp over to the Gryffindor table. I take a seat with Seamus and Ginny. This will no doubt be my last chance to sit at the Gryffindor table, and I won't even get to enjoy it. By the looks on the faces of Neville's friends, they're all upset with him. Sure enough, Ginny asks, "How could you let them punish you like that? It wasn't you."

"Do you even know who did it?" Seamus adds.

"Do you even think the person cares what you've just done for them?" Ginny continues.

"Listen," I say. "I had to take it. I know who did it, and I know why they did it. I also know that they are indebted to me." Which isn't actually a lie, because I do have a debt to Neville now, but they don't have to know what I mean by what I've just said.

"And just for whom would you do something so reckless?" Seamus adds.

"Tell us what really happened," Ginny says.

I sigh. I guess they should know, because if they don't, they'll question Neville relentlessly until he tells them the truth. "All right," I say quietly. "I'm not who you think I am."

"What?" they ask at the same time.

"The Polyjuice Potion," I whisper. "But no one can know about this."

"Then who are you?" Ginny asks.

"Charlotte Rodgers," I answer almost inaudibly.

"You – you released those from detention Friday? _You _did that, Charlotte?" Ginny asks quietly. "Why?"

"No one deserves to have that done to them," I say. "And I had a second-year friend in there."

"Why did you switch places with Neville?" Seamus asks.

"Because Neville has made it quite obvious where he stands in this whole thing," I reply. "Whereas if it's known where I stand, the Dark Lord will take me from Hogwarts and keep me captive."

Ginny's eyes light with realization. Seamus doesn't understand, and it's easy to see that he's about to ask what I mean when Ginny quickly says, "We'll tell no one." Then Seamus has nothing left to do but to agree with her.

After that, there is really only silence between us. The moment dinner is over, I stand and totter over to the real Neville and pull him aside. Together we make our way to McGonagall's office. "We have to tell her what's going on," I say to him. "She needs to know."

"And me?" Neville asks, and I still find it weird to talk to myself. I wonder if he feels the same way, but I don't have time to ask. "Will I be told everything when this is over?"

"Probably," I answer. "I can't be sure yet."

"After what you've gone through, Charlotte," he says to me, "I don't think I'll hold anything against you."

"That's until you find out what I'm hiding," I say quietly.

We stop at McGonagall's door. I don't waste a second before I open it and step inside. "What are you doing?" Neville calls to me, not daring to step foot into McGonagall's office. "She's not here! We can't just go in there!"

"She won't care when she hears what's happened," I say confidently.

"Are you sure about this?" Neville asks, slowly stepping into the room.

"It's me, Neville," I answer.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Mr. Longbottom, Miss Rodgers," McGonagall says from the doorway. "What are the two of you doing in here?"

"Professor," Neville says awkwardly.

"Charlotte," she says darkly, "I realize that you must keep things hidden, but to allow another student –" I step forward and wrap my arms around her; she doesn't return the hug. Neville's eyes widen. "Mr. Longbottom –"

"It's me, professor," I say.

"Charlotte?" she asks.

"Yes, professor."

Then she returns my embrace. "What have you done?" she asks when we break apart.

"Polyjuice Potion," I reply.

She looks to Neville. "Longbottom?"

He nods.

"Why?" she asks, looking between the two of us.

"Because the Dark Lord cannot know what side I am truly on, but I would not let anyone take the blame for me," I say. "So I switched places with someone who would not be questioned if he confessed to releasing the students."

"Here, Charlotte," Neville says, tossing me my robes. "I stopped by the bathroom before dinner and grabbed those. I didn't know when the potion might wear off."

"Thanks," I say, seriously hoping the potion does not wear off while we're in here with McGonagall. I fear that, if that were to happen, it would be rather uncomfortable.

"I believe it's time I know everything," Neville states.

I glance at McGonagall, silently asking her opinion, as we make our way to her desk.

She slightly nods, obviously believing that it's the best thing to have happen.

"What you're about to hear, Neville," I say quietly when we're all seated, "it must not change your opinion of me."

"After what you've been through," he replies, "I don't believe anything could change my opinion of you."

He says that now, before he finds out who my mother is… "There is a reason Draco and I broke up in our fifth year," I begin. "Over the Christmas holidays, we discovered that we're cousins."

"What?" he asks.

"Our mother's are sisters," I say.

"But you're not Tonks's sister, are you?" he replies quietly, no doubt piecing things together.

"No, I am not the daughter of Andromeda. I am the daughter of…I…I am the daughter of…" I take a deep breath. "I am the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange."

Neville clenches his fists and his teeth. "Bellatrix Lestrange," he repeats coldly.

"I know what she did," I say quietly. "And I am so sorry."

"How do you know?" he asks unevenly.

"She offered…to do the same to me…put me in St. Mungo's," I whisper.

He shifts uncomfortably. "And where is she now?"

"With Voldemort," I say.

"And the Lestrange brothers?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know where your own father is?"

"My own father believes I am dead. Everyone besides the Malfoys, Bellatrix, and You-Know-Who believes I am dead," I say.

The boy looks between me and McGonagall. "And that…that's why…he can't know where your true allegiance lie?"

I take a deep breath. "Not exactly," I say.

"Then why?"

"I…I'm going to…being forced to…he wants me to…he wants me…I have to bear him a child," I stammer.

"And that's why you needed me to switch places with you?" he guesses.

"Yes, because if he knows that I am against him, he'll take me and lock me up somewhere until I have his child," I confirm.

Neville looks at the professor. "And you've known this?"

"I have, Neville," she says, and it passes neither me nor him that she used his first name, something she does not do often.

"And where do you come in?" he asks her.

"Charlotte came to me shortly after her arrival here, and I offered my help," McGonagall answers.

"Bellatrix Lestrange…" Neville says quietly. "She had a daughter, all these years…"

"She thought me dead," I repeat. "Everyone thought I died when I was an infant."

"Your real name?"

"Aurelia Victoria Lestrange," I say.

"How often do you see her?"

"Only when forced."

My skin begins to bubble. This could not have come at a worse time. My head prickles, and I know that my hair is growing longer, just as Neville's is shortening again. Much faster than I had become Neville, I become myself, swallowed once more by Neville's robes. I glance at him, and he is constricted in my robes again. I can't help but laugh.

McGonagall waves her wand and a partition appears. "If you would like to get out of those robes, Longbottom," she offers.

"Thank you, professor," he says and quickly rushes over there to put on his own robes. I look down at my bloodied hands. A few moments later, Neville returns. "I'll tell no one," his voice is quiet, but he doesn't look at me, "you have my word."

"Much obliged, Neville," I reply. He leaves without another word. I look up to McGonagall. "Is there any way you can heal all of these?" I ask, motioning to my gashes and bruises.

"Yes, yes, of course," she answers, standing and making her way around her desk. The first thing I show her is my calf, to which she gasps and says, "They did this to you?"

My eyes look at the awful mark on my leg. It's longer than I thought it was, covering nearly my entire calf. "They just stabbed me, but when I tried to crawl away, they didn't let go, and it led to that."

Her face becomes just as furious as that of Carrows when I had shouted in the Great Hall.

"There's nothing can be done," I say quietly. "Their time is coming."

McGonagall begins reciting a spell, and I can feel my leg closing up. Relief washes over me. I've blocked out the pain for so long that I hadn't even realized how badly it had been aching. "Snape's is coming as well," the professor comments. "You needn't worry about him for too much longer."

I smile, trying to hold back my slight fear. I have no doubt that, given the opportunity, McGonagall would kill Severus. She and Dumbledore had been close for many, many years. She now hates everything about the former Potions Master. "That's good to know," I say.

After roughly twenty minutes, McGonagall has healed everything that the Carrows had done to me, and there is not a single strip of evidence of my beating, except for the blood that still covers me. "I think I've got it all," she says. "You should use the Disillusionment Charm to sneak to the bathroom to wash all of this blood off. Questions will be raised if you are seen covered in blood though you were not the one who had been tortured."

"Yes, professor," I reply.

"Are you going to be all right?" she asks as we both stand to our feet.

"I'm sure I will be," I answer.

"You come to me if you need anything – and I do mean anything," she says. "And come back later tonight, and I'll have Madam Pomfrey in here so she can apply dittany without the Carrows knowing."

I hug her one last time before throwing the Disillusionment Charm over myself and leaving her office to go clean up.

There aren't many people that I have to avoid while travelling through the corridors. Most of the Gryffindors are probably in the common room with Neville, the Hufflepuffs are probably conspiring about what has happened, and the Ravenclaws are probably trying to find out just how Neville pulled off something as large as hiding Alecto and releasing the students from detention. The Slytherins are probably rejoicing over the Carrows beating down a Gryffindor such as Neville.

Sure enough, when I reach the Slytherin Dungeons, all of – well, most of – the Slytherins are gathered around the fire, talking about what happened to Neville. Pansy of course is at the forefront of the group, making sure to laugh the hardest and the loudest.

I dodge past them and go the girls' bathroom where I hop in the shower to rid myself of all of this blood. I don't think it will do much good to take bloodied Gryffindor robes through the Slytherin common room, so I vanish them, making a mental note to pay Neville back

I quickly dodge out of the common room, still under the Disillusionment Charm, and stand out in the corridor. I remove the charm and step inside, acting like I've been wandering around for a while. Christopher walks up to me. "It was you, wasn't it?" he asks quietly.

"What was?" I reply.

"You know what," he says. "You were Neville at dinner, weren't you? And Neville was you?"

"No one can know," I demand.

"I wasn't planning on telling," he answers. "I was just trying to make sure you were all right."

"I'm fine, Christopher," I assure him.

Without warning, he throws his arms around my waist and holds me tightly. "Good, because I couldn't lose you too."

I wrap my arms around him. "You won't have to, Christopher."

We stay like that for a few minutes then go to a sofa and sit next to each other. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him to see me like that, not after he lost his sister and now claims me as his new sister. I hadn't even thought about him when I concocted my plan to switch places with Neville. I'll have to find a way to make it up to him.

* * *

**Will Neville simply let it go like that, or will he change towards Charlotte?**

**Where will Charlotte go from here?**

**Review!**


	87. Chapter 87

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! She is a lot braver than I could be. I wouldn't be able to do what Charlotte did!**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! Christopher really is a character you can't help but love! I can't say if Voldemort finds out. I can't give spoilers lol**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I think Neville is intelligent enough to know that Charlotte is not Bellatrix. Charlotte goes back to Malfoy Manor in the next chapter. I can't say what will happen. Severus could get into danger unless he and Charlotte can convince Voldemort that she learned to do it herself (which is possible, an example being Barty Crouch Jr), and since the two of them are great at Occlumency, it shouldn't be too difficult for them. I anxiously wait for the moment I get to update!**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I think Neville will let it go as well. I know it is…it just sounds weird with her personality lol**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I think he will too. Neville is a good kid. It might be odd around him, but I don't think he'll hate her. I was just wondering what everyone thought about Charlotte's next steps. It won't be too much longer before her next meeting with Voldemort.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay, I'm just glad you reviewed this chapter! Charlotte is a true Slytherin – quite clever lol. She tries to be heroic so she can work past who her parents are. I think he might act a bit different, but he knows what she went through so he'll get over it. Neville is a nice person.**

**TheLilyReviewer! Thanks for reviewing! A lot of things would have been different if she had been placed in Gryffindor. She and Snape would not be as close, and that changes a lot lol. She's way too much of a Slytherin though. She might deny it, but she fits in that House really well. It's fine if you can't review:) Don't worry about it!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I think he might be weird to begin with, but he'll know that she is not like Bellatrix. It's okay if you can't review every chapter!**

**Lalitya: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't mean to piss you off lol. But I do enjoy proving people wrong. It makes me happy haha. I would love love love to be a author some day! Reviews like yours really make me believe I can do it, so thanks:) It's okay if you don't review every chapter! I'm just glad you're reading!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 87**

"I heard about what happened to 'Longbottom,'" Severus says.

"Who told you?" I ask him. I've made it a point to come to his office every day before breakfast. And it seems to make things easier. I hadn't realized how desperately I had been missing his advice and his companionship. When I start my day talking to him and end my day talking to McGonagall, I feel so much pressure lift itself off of me.

"The Carrows came to let me know that they had found the one who had rescued the students from detention," Severus answers. "Are you all right?"

"Perfectly fine," I say. "At least, I am now."

"Professor McGonagall?"

"She did a magnificent job," I reply.

"I can see that," he says.

"In my day," one of the portraits says, "students were openly punished for their transgressions. I, for one, do not understand why it should be any different now than it was then."

We both ignore the portrait. "Have you figured out how this…how I am…this Saturday?" I ask.

"Yes," he answers. "You are to arrive early Saturday morning at the manor."

"I'll…I'll be there…all day?" I ask.

"Yes, but I do not know why," he replies. "The Dark Lord wants you there all day. It is to be this way every time. I am sorry."

"How…how am I to get there?" I whisper.

"I will remove the protective spells from around my private quarters," he points the wall adjacent the Dumbledore portrait. There is a bookshelf, and I assume he means behind it. "Come to my office on Saturday morning, and you may Disapparate from my quarters to go to the manor." He slides an envelope across his desk for me to grab. "And as per our agreement, follow those instructions."

I nod silently, grab the envelope, and hide it in my robes. "Thank you, professor," I say quietly. Slowly, I stand to my feet, "I should be getting to breakfast before someone realizes that I am not there." He bids me a good day, which I return back to him, and I leave his office.

* * *

"When will you be allowed to return to Hogwarts?" McGonagall asks me.

I've been explaining the situation to her the best I can, without mentioning how I am not leaving for the manor tonight but tomorrow morning. "I think I'll be allowed back late Sunday night," I say. This is probably a lie. I'll probably be allowed to return Sunday morning, but due to my agreement with Severus, I won't _really_ be returning to Hogwarts until later. Well, I'll be back earlier, but I won't be allowed to walk around the school until later. But McGonagall doesn't need to know that.

"You're welcome to come back here when you return," she says. "I trust you know that."

"I do, professor," I reply, "and I will be here as soon as I can."

"The time does not matter," McGonagall reminds me. "My door is always open to you."

"Thank you," I say airily, unable to successfully find my voice. I reach out and finish off my cup of tea. "I should be going now. I'd hate to be late…"

McGonagall stands and comes around the desk to take me into her arms. "You're going to be all right, Charlotte. You're going to get through this."

"I know, professor," I reply. "It's only a matter of time before Harry kills him, right?" But what if he can't? The thought of Voldemort never dying sends fear rippling down my spine, and I hold tighter to the professor.

"It's only a matter of time," she confirms. "Albus knew what he was doing when he sent Potter and his friends on their mission. I'm sure they'll discover a way to destroy He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named once and for all."

And for the first time I voice my greatest fear, something I have not had the courage to do since the beginning of this horror, "But what if they can't kill him before I get pregnant?"

My voice was little more than a whisper, but I know McGonagall heard me because she tightens her arms around me. "I pray that you will not have to face that," she says, "but if you do, I will help you get through it. I will help you, Charlotte. You won't have to face this alone."

My heart aches. McGonagall is the only person who has ever made me feel like this. Mrs. Stoico had been a mother to me when I was growing up, when I needed motherly affection, when I needed someone in my life. There was not much going on in my life where I needed much help, other than the heartbreak of being an orphan. She was simply the woman who made me realize that I am worth something. She had sheltered me and protected me. She was my mother.

Yet here stands Professor McGonagall, and I feel more appreciative of her than I do Mrs. Stoico. The professor has been here for me during the most crucial moments of my life: Discovering my true family, falling in love with Fred, learning more about my duty to Voldemort, mastering Occlumency, joining the Order, being "betrayed" by Severus, actually fulfilling my duty to Voldemort, and trying my hardest to stay sane through it all. And despite all of what she knows about me, she is still willing to help me. She is still holding me in her arms and telling me that everything is going to be okay. It doesn't matter to her that things could not be farther from "all right."

"I love you, professor," I say quickly.

There is a brief moment of silence, during which I mentally beat myself up for letting that slip. She might be a mum to me, but I don't know if I had the right to say that. "I love you too, Charlotte."

And it will never matter to me if Bellatrix ever tells me that she loves me, because hearing it from my biological mother, Bellatrix Lestrange, could never compare to hearing it from my real mum, Minerva McGonagall.

We pull apart, and I force myself to ignore the tears in her eyes and the tears in my own. "I'll be back as soon as possible," I say. I turn around and leave the office before she has a chance to reply. I have to get out of there. I am flooded with too many emotions that I have not felt in years.

Following Severus's instructions, I go to the girls' bathroom on the third floor. I check Alphard Black's pocket watch. There are just a few short minutes until eleven 'o'clock, the time McGonagall believes I am leaving Hogwarts. Severus will lift the enchantments, for two minutes, in the bathroom and in his private quarters so it will be possible for me to Apparate to his chambers. I watch the seconds tick away and feel my anxiety rising in my chest. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this. It's probably because we're inside the castle. Yes, that must be it…

The time comes. The pocket watch officially says eleven 'o' clock. I brace myself and Apparate to Severus's private chambers. He's not here yet, so I simply look around. The room is similar to his at Spinner's End. Everything is black and white. I guess it's better than the Slytherin colors, which only remind me of Voldemort. Much like in McGonagall's office, there is a white sofa by the window. I walk over to it and sit down, turning enough so I can see over the Hogwarts grounds. Again I find myself bitter. Why is it that everyone I care about has an amazing view of the school grounds while I have a view of depths of the Black Lake?

The wall opposite the large bed opens up, and in walks Severus. When the door closes, he asks, "Does anyone suspect where you are?"

"No," I say. "Professor McGonagall believes I am at the manor tonight, and those in my dorm are used to me missing until late."

He doesn't say anything; he only nods, as if having expected this to be my answer.

I stand up. "Before…this," I begin, "could…could I attempt to resist the Imperius Curse…a few more times?"

He nods, his eyes understanding. "Of course," he replies, raising his wand at me. "But I believe you are skilled enough to resist the curse." I smile at his confidence in me. "_Imperio!"_

* * *

"I don't understand why he wants me there so early," I comment. This is nearly the fourth time I've brought this up to Severus, and each time he answers me with the same sad look. Well, the first time he said he was not sure, but after that he stopped answering. For an hour now I have been sitting on the white sofa.

According to Alphard's pocket watch, it is almost seven in the morning, which means I will be leaving soon. Voldemort wants me at the manor at seven. I've been trembling over this since I woke up in the headmaster's private quarters.

"You will be fine," Severus states.

"What makes you so confident?" I whisper.

"Two reasons," he answers. "Firstly, I stood no chance of Imperiusing you when we practiced last night. You demonstrate the skill to break free of the curse. Secondly, you have, once again, a power over the Dark Lord of which he does not know."

I smirk at his statement, but say, "But if his Imperius Curse is stronger than yours, I could lose my mind."

"But he would not risk you in that way because he needs you healthy," he says. "You will be fine."

I nod silently.

Severus walks over to me and pulls me to my feet. "You will be fine," he repeats. Before I Disapparate to Malfoy Manor, he pulls me into a warm embrace and says, once more, "You will be fine." Then I leave.

As instructed, I go to the drawing room, expecting to see Bellatrix. She isn't there, and I freeze, not knowing what to do. I've never Apparated into Malfoy Manor only to be left alone. A few minutes of nothing pass. This is new to me.

"Forgive my delay," a deep voice says. A shrill yelp escapes me, and I turn to see a man standing in the doorway of the drawing room. There is a low chuckle as he approaches. "My apologies, Miss Rodgers, I didn't mean to startle you."

I look into my father's icy blue eyes, eyes like mine. "No – I – don't worry about," I stammer. He wears the same low, loose ponytail and well-trimmed beard that he had in the Death Eater meeting last summer, which was the last time I saw him.

He offers me his hand. "Rodolphus Lestrange," he greets me. "It's an honor to officially meet you."

I accept his hand. "Charlotte Rodgers," I say quietly. He does not seem as distant as he had at the meeting.

"I know who you are," he answers kindly. "We all know who you are."

I don't know what to say. It's odd speaking to my father without actually speaking to my father. "Where is Bellatrix? She is usually the one who…is waiting for my arrival."

"Bellatrix is away on orders of the Dark Lord," Rodolphus replies.

"And Narcissa?" I ask. I don't want to be stuck with my father without being able to speak of our relation.

"It seems you are disappointed with our arrangements," he answers.

"It's just…the last time I was alone with…a Death Eater…it didn't end well…"

"You must be speaking of Avery," he guesses.

"I am."

"That is precisely why the Dark Lord has charged me with watching over you for the time being," my father replies. "He knows that I am loyal to him, and him alone. He knows that I will see to your safety."

I smile. "That's reassuring."

"Besides, after what you did to Avery's father, I cannot think of a single person in their right mind who would attempt to harm you," Rodolphus states.

I freeze. "What?"

"Avery's father," he replies. "I believe you killed him with a knife, yes? I hear it was rather brutal."

"I – what?"

Rodolphus smiles, a charming smile that comforts me despite the fear growing in me over his knowledge of what I've done. "I know what you did to Avery's father," he says quietly. "Avery isn't the only one who knows – he hasn't the brain or the ability to discover something like that for himself."

"I –"

"– needn't worry. I honor what you did to avenge someone you loved," he says. He walks over to me, puts his hand on my shoulder, and leads me from the drawing room. "Why don't we get you something to eat? I'm sure you must be hungry."

"I am," I say. Once we're out of the room, he drops his hand from my shoulder. "How did you know?" I can't resist the temptation to ask.

"Avery's father did not go looking for you on his own," Rodolphus answers. "My father was with him, witnessed it actually."

"He didn't try to stop me?" I ask quietly. We step into the large marble kitchen.

"It wasn't his place," Rodolphus replies. "You were supposed to be brought back to Malfoy Manor, not attacked."

"Did he not fear punishment for disobeying an order to bring me back?"

"There wasn't much that my father feared," he says.

"What happened to him?" I ask quietly, taking a seat at the table.

He bustles about, gathering the food that had presumably been prepared prior to my arrival. "He was killed," Rodolphus says. He doesn't seem the least bit disturbed by this.

I clear my throat, unsure of how to follow this.

"But not until he had planned out a way for us to know what you had done – and by 'us' I mean myself, my brother Rabastan, and Avery. He left a letter, a letter I found after Azkaban," my father continues. "And that is how Avery knew." The Death Eater places a few platters of food in front of me and sits down. We begin filling our plates.

"Who else knows?" I ask.

"By now?" he replies. "I'd be surprised if it isn't common knowledge among the Dark Lord's followers – or the Inner Circle at least."

The thought chills me.

"No one will harm you now," he says, obviously reading my pale face. "We each hold you to a certain amount of respect, some of us a certain amount of fear."

"Fear?"

"You stabbed a man to death when you were ten, Miss Rodgers," he says.

"Call me 'Charlotte.'"

"Charlotte," he repeats.

"They don't hate me for killing one of their own?"

He shakes his head, smiling. "You shouldn't worry about that. None of us hate you."

I take a bite of the eggs and bacon. I don't know what to say to him, so I figure silence through eating is my best option. It works for a few minutes until Rodolphus asks, "How old are you, Charlotte? There are a lot of speculations being spread around. Are you truly the age to be at Hogwarts, or has the Dark Lord taken liberties to put you there for your own protection?"

My breath nearly catches. "I…I'm truly…I'm the right age to be at Hogwarts," I say. I take a drink of my pumpkin juice. "I…I'll be eighteen in November."

The man clears his throat. "Eighteen in November?" he asks, more to himself than me. He meets my eye. "I had a daughter once. She would be turning eighteen this November as well."

"What…what happened to her?" I reply quietly.

"She was killed nearly seventeen years ago," he answers. "She was a few days shy of being a year old."

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

"It was all an accident," he continues as if I hadn't spoken. "She was killed by mistake. She wasn't the intended target; she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was meant to be safe there. That's why she was there to begin with."

I have to look away from him. "And she was Bellatrix's daughter?" I ask.

"Bellatrix is the only witch I would have allowed to give birth to my child," he states.

My heart caves in on itself. Bellatrix might not have ever loved him, but it sounds to me that he loved her, possible still loves her. I can't really tell. "When did you meet her?" I ask.

He smiles. "Our first year at Hogwarts. We were in the same group of friends, those attracted to the Dark Arts. She and I were never overly close, I don't suppose."

"Yet you married her?" I reply.

"It was a pureblood marrying a pureblood. We were both from wealthy families. It was a respectable marriage," he answers.

"And your daughter?" I find myself asking. "She was – what? – an occupational hazard?"

He smirks. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" I pry. I need to know. I don't know why I need to know. I just do.

"I always…I always loved her – Bellatrix. Well, from our sixth year, I have loved her," he says quietly. "Some things happened early in '79. She was hurting. One thing led to another, and she conceived our daughter – Aurelia Victoria was her name," he smiles his charming smile, "and she was so beautiful. Her eyes were dark, like her mother's. Her hair was light brown. Her smile and her nose favored that of Bellatrix."

His eyes blank as he gets lost in his thoughts. "She giggled a lot – Aurelia. She was always a happy child. Bellatrix could get her to smile at just about anything. I used to watch the two of them, my wife and my daughter. Bellatrix would make these little flames with her wand, and Aurelia's eyes would light up, like she could sit there and watch it for hours. She was so precious. I remember…I used to watch the two of them together…in our little cottage…and think to myself how we could be a family. I believe that was the closest Bellatrix and I ever were."

His eyes sadden. "But we had to send her away for her own protection. And she was killed." My father looks at me for the first time in a few minutes and seems to be yanked from his reverie. "Sometimes I find myself wondering what she would be like had she survived."

I lock my eyes onto his and take a deep breath. He needs to know who I am.

* * *

**Is it a bad idea for her to tell him? How could that affect, well, everything?**

**Will she actually be able to resist the Imperius Curse when the time comes?**

**What about her moment with McGonagall?**

**Review!**


	88. Chapter 88

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! I think she should tell him too, but there could be a lot of danger. Then again, since when has Charlotte cared about danger? Lol. I really wanted Charlotte to have an actual mother figure, and I could see McGonagall in that position over anyone else. I can't say if she'll resist the Imperius Curse. Spoilers and all that…**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! It would definitely be dangerous if she told him. But we all know how Charlotte is… I'll talk about the Christopher thing when she gets back to Hogwarts. **

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! It has good and bad things about it. Charlotte indeed gets into a lot of problems…**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! A lot will change if she tells him. It would definitely be impossible for her to live through this if she did not have McGonagall there to help her.**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I was really hoping someone would catch that. The eyes will be explained, but a lot of children are born with light hair that later becomes dark. Don't worry though. It'll make sense after this chapter. I'm glad I was able to bring you to tears:) I wanted Charlotte to have a real mother figure rather than just Bellatrix. I can't say much about her resisting the curse. And thanks, it means a lot to me that you think I could make it as an author! I'll never let go of my dream:) And your dream has just come true 'cause there's a new chapter!**

**Lalitya: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I'm glad you managed to review two in a row! Thanks, I appreciate your confidence in me! I'm glad I managed to bring tears to people's eyes. I was trying to but was unsure if I'd be able to. I've got plans for Fred and Charlotte. That's all I can say about that :)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! There are positives and negatives about her telling him. I feel bad for him. He obviously wants his daughter back. Poor man. I can't say what will happen with the Imperius Curse, but you're right about Voldemort not being pleased.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I love their relationship too! Charlotte needs a mother figure. It's not completely bad, but it's not completely good either.**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! He would be overjoyed to know that his baby lives, but Voldemort would definitely punish them for the truth getting out. No one else is allowed to know. But Charlotte has never really cared about Voldemort's orders. I can't comment on the Imperius Curse**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you are enjoying the story!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! (86) That's really weird. Maybe you should unfollow the story then follow it again and see if that changes anything? He'll change some, but I can't say how lol. (87) She isn't being rational, but both good and bad things could come out of her telling him. Unfortunately, you are right. So much of this could be a test. Charlotte can't be sure that Rodolphus isn't just following orders of Voldemort to get her to tell. Charlotte is indeed very desperate, but resisting the Imperius Curse isn't about stopping the raping. It's so she can at least fight against him. But there are other things he could do to her to make her stop. I don't think she realizes that.**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! (84) She doesn't want Alecto to die. So yeah, probably. (85) Definitely her craziest plan. (86) Do you really think that Neville will change? (87) A lot will change if she tells. Thanks for all of your reviews. I didn't think someone would go through and review every chapter. That means a lot to me!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 88**

I open my mouth to speak, but I am interrupted by a loud _pop!_ Bellatrix has just Apparated into the kitchen of Malfoy Manor. She stops when she sees me eating breakfast with my father. "Charlotte," she seems to choke on the name, "I didn't expect you to be here so soon."

I glance at Rodolphus then back at my mother. "The Dark Lord required me to come here early," I say.

"Bellatrix," my father says quietly. I peer into his eyes the best I can, but he's intently watching his wife, looking as if he doesn't even realize that I am still sitting in the room. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

"And I didn't expect you here," she replies. An uncomfortable ooze fills the air, and I'm left looking at my hands in a feeble attempt to ignore what is happening around me. A hand rests on my shoulder. "Come along…Charlotte." I don't know where she wants to take me.

Rodolphus does not seem to enjoy this idea, for he stands to his feet and says, gently but firmly, "The Dark Lord commissioned me to watch over her, Bellatrix."

Her grip on my shoulder tightens just a bit. "I'm sure he will not mind if I take her from here," she replies, not looking at him but me. "After all, I am the one to whom he turns when it comes to watching after the girl."

"Well, he's turned to me now, and I am enjoying my conversation with her," Rodolphus states. "So you can either stay with the two of us, or you can go about your merry way. Both options are fine with me."

She watches him for a moment before leaning down and whispering in my ear, "He cannot know." Again, her grip tightens on my shoulder; then she leaves the room.

Rodolphus sits back down. "She hasn't been the same since we lost our daughter," he says softly. "We were distant before we had Aurelia, she started to come around in the six months that we had our little girl, but after our daughter's death, we have drifted farther apart than we ever were." I have to look away from him. "Our relationship has grown colder and colder since then."

"Why…why do you think…why?" I ask.

He exhales. "She threw herself into serving the Dark Lord. She became obsessed with pleasing him. That's all she's cared about since."

I know too well that this is all she has cared about, so I have to change the subject. "You said that your daughter –"

"Aurelia," he interjects.

I clear my throat. "You said that Aurelia had dark eyes like her," I say. "But Bellatrix says she had blue eyes, like your family."

He smiles. "With the Lestrange family," he replies, "if a child is born with dark eyes, he or she will usually end with deep blue eyes, sort of like those of my brother Rabastan. But if the child has deep blue eyes as a baby, the final eye color will be icy blue, like mine."

I can almost feel my heart slow down. What if he realizes that I have the same blue eyes as he? "What color eyes do you think Aurelia would have had?" I ask quietly.

"She would have had deep blue eyes," he says confidently. "But I would have wanted her to have dark eyes, like her mother. That is how I picture her, which is why I say she had dark eyes." He squints at me. "Who are your parents?"

"What?"

"Just wondering," he answers. "You have beautiful blue eyes."

I feel the heat flush to my face. "I don't know who they are."

"Does anyone know?"

"The Dark Lord does," I say.

"So you're sure that you are a pureblood?" he asks.

"Absolutely positive," I answer. "But I don't know who my parents are. In fact, my father does not know that I even exist. And my mother checked out of her mind many years ago. That is when I was placed in the orphanage with a false name."

"That's a shame," he says quietly. "A child should not grow up uncertain of their parents."

"Agreed," I say.

"If you're parents were here," my father questions, "what would they think about your duty to the Dark Lord?"

I pause for a moment. "Well," I say, "my mother would be proud. My father…" I think back to everything he has said about me, "he would probably be unnerved by what I must do, but ultimately proud that it was I who was chosen."

"Are you quite sure about that?" he asks.

I pause for a moment.

"Because, as a father, I cannot imagine my daughter having to do something like that," he says. "You might be right in the sense of me being proud that she was chosen of all the young witches that there are in the world. But I believe I would go mad with the thought of my daughter giving birth to the Dark Lord's child."

"Do you know why he wants the child?" I ask quickly.

"Very few of us know why, even fewer of us are allowed to speak of it," he replies. "I am in neither of those two groups, unfortunately. If you want to know, you must ask him yourself."

I nod silently. "I understand," I whisper.

"I wish I could be of more assistance," he says.

Rodolphus and I leave the kitchen and go to the sitting room, where we continue to speak, but not about his past or my past. We simply "chat." And it kills me that I cannot bring myself to tell him that I am Aurelia Victoria Lestrange. I've never wanted to speak of my true self this badly in my entire life. Granted, I've never really want to speak of my true family. So this is difficult for me, one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.

And yet it is all too soon when Voldemort enters the room (I guess it will always be too soon when he arrives). "Rodolphus," the Dark Lord greets him, "I take it that Charlotte has been agreeable."

"Yes, my Lord," Rodolphus replies.

Bellatrix walks into the room. Voldemort turns to her and says something so softly that I cannot hear him. Then he walks out, leaving me with my estranged parents and a discomforting vibe. "Where is Draco?" I ask my mother.

"His room," she answers.

"Could…could I see him…before…?" I stammer.

"I don't see anything wrong with that," she says. Looking past me, she commands, "Rodolphus, go fetch Draco."

He nods and leaves without a word. Once he is gone, my mother takes me into her arms. "Aurelia," she whispers, "you didn't tell him, did you?"

"Of course not, Mum," I answer. Her arms tighten around me.

"Charlotte," I hear Draco say a few short minutes later.

I quickly pull away from my mother and go into my cousin's embrace. "Draco," I say.

"How's Hogwarts?" he asks.

"Different," I answer.

He rubs my back. "Take care of yourself, Charlotte," he says quietly. "I don't want to hear that you were harmed."

"You know me," I reply, moving away from him, "I'll take abuse from people when hell freezes over."

He smiles. "Good."

"Come along, Charlotte," Bellatrix says.

She takes me by the arm to lead me to Voldemort. I stop in front of my father and offer him my hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Rodolphus."

He accepts the handshake. "Likewise, Charlotte," he answers. "Perhaps we'll meet again some time."

"I hope so."

Then my mother takes me by the hand to pull me out of the room, and we make our way to the Dark Lord. "Got along well with your father, I see," Bellatrix comments.

"Is there something wrong with that?" I reply.

"It's dangerous," she answers. "He can never know who you are. The Dark Lord will kill him if he knows the truth."

"I wasn't going to tell him," I say. "I was just trying to be polite and nice. Besides, it was the Dark Lord who made me stay with Rodolphus. That wasn't my first choice."

"And your first choice would be who?"

"Draco," I say without thinking. Her face drops as if I smacked her. She probably thought I would say her. I quickly add, "It's nice to have someone my age on whom I can lean."

She lightens up a bit. "I understand," she says.

"Mum," I say.

Her hand tightens on mine. "Yes?" she answers quietly.

"Why does the Dark Lord want a child?"

We slow down. "I am not at liberty to say," my mother's voice is sad. "I am afraid that the only way you can know is by asking him yourself."

And I don't think that will ever happen. "I need to know one thing, Mum," I continue. "Does he plan on killing my baby when I have it…like, as a sacrifice?"

"No," she answers firmly.

"Then why does he want a child if he doesn't plan on sacrificing it in some weird Dark Magic ritual?"

"I cannot tell you," she says in a low voice.

When we finally reach the door to _the room_, Bellatrix stops and takes me into her arms. "Aurelia," she whispers gently. "You are going to be fine." She pulls back and kisses my forehead before pulling me closer to her again. "When you have this child, you will not be alone."

"Thanks," I say.

Bellatrix releases me, and in enter _the room_ again.

I walk to the middle and stop, crossing my arms in a way of defiance as I have done each time I am forced in here. The far door opens not long after, and in walks Voldemort. "Charlotte," he says, "I can see the fight has not yet left your spirit."

"Lord Voldemort," I reply, "I can see that you still expect me to stop fighting."

He takes a step closer to me. "I assume you had a rather interesting afternoon with your father?" he says. "I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for you not to tell him the truth. He is such a charming man."

So that explains why he had my father watching over me. He wanted to torture me just a bit. It makes more sense now. But I will not fall into the trap and become upset with him. I have a stronger will than that.

"Why do you want a child?" I ask him.

He seems surprised by my question, just as surprised as I am at myself for asking. "I have gone to extreme measures to preserve my immortality," he answers. "The child will be nothing more than a stepping stone by which I will maintain my immortal reign over the Wizarding world."

"Immortal?" I ask. "How is that possible?"

"Complex Dark Magic," he says, "magic about which you needn't worry yourself."

I let this sink in for a second. "So…it is not an heir you seek?"

"An 'heir'?" he laughs. "What use would I have of an 'heir' when I will never die?"

"Will you kill her in some profane ritual to keep your…immortality?" I ask. I'm not really sure why I chose the feminine form. It just slipped out. Perhaps it is because deep down, if I must have this child, I want a daughter, a daughter I can love in ways that I have only recently experienced.

Voldemort chuckles, and the hair on the back of my neck rises. "Dear Charlotte," he replies. "If it is a 'her,' I will have no choice but to rid the world of her."

"What?"

"It is a male I desire," he says. "Therefore only a male may survive."

"If you don't want an heir, why does it need to be a male?" I reply. "That doesn't make sense."

"If my body is destroyed," he says, "I will need another ready for my return. What better solution than to have a son, through whose veins my blood runs, in whom a piece of my soul might rest until my return?"

I take a short breath. My son, if I have him, will be nothing more than a vessel used for Voldemort's return. He will be nothing in the eyes of the Dark Lord, nothing but a tool to secure his immortality. "So my son will be as good as dead?" I reply coldly.

"Your son," he repeats, his tone clearly implying that I should never refer to the child as mine.

"Yes," I say. "My son. Will you kill him?"

"He is not the one who will lose his life," Voldemort answers.

"Then…who will lose their life?"

"When you give birth to the child and he is grown enough that he no longer needs your care –"

"A child will always need a mother's care," I interject.

"Emotionally and mentally perhaps, but physically he will not," the Dark Lord responds. "And when he physically needs you no longer, you will make it possible for him to accomplish his purpose. But you mustn't worry about the boy. He will have others who will fill the void left behind when you are no longer around."

I can hardly breathe. "You're going to kill me?"

He takes a step closer to me. "You will have performed your task valiantly," he says, "but through your death, you will have fulfilled everything of you that I desire."

I move away from him. "Does my mother know about this? About you planning to kill me?"

"She does not know the full extent of your duty. But do you think that she will turn against me…for you?"

I bite my tongue, because I know that he has a point. There is a very small chance that Bellatrix will ever turn against Voldemort for me.

"And if she learns of what you must do and decides to choose you over me," his voice is dangerous, "you will watch her suffer a horrid death. If she learns of your full duty at all, when it is your time to completely fulfill said duty, I will not be gracious." He raises his wand.

The familiar happiness comes over me, and after what I've just learned, I don't want to leave this state. But because of what I've just learned, I cannot allow myself to be overtaken by the Imperius Curse. I cannot.

Then the happiness is gone.

Voldemort's face drops. "And just who has been teaching to resist the Imperius Curse?" he asks. "The last time you attempted that, you were left in a state of delirium, so much in fact that your mother had to escort you back to Spinner's End."

I don't remember ever trying to resist the curse, but I do remember being in an odd dream state. That was when I had let slip to Bellatrix that McGonagall was more of a mother to me than she (Bellatrix) had ever been.

"Who has been teaching you?" he asks coldly.

"My own sheer willpower, Lord Voldemort," I say. "It is nothing more than my own willpower."

"No matter," he continues.

Without any warning, the Dark Lord has swooped toward me has struck me in the face with his fist. I collapse to the floor and hold my eye, trying not to whimper.

"Your 'sheer willpower' will not help you, Charlotte," he states.

His hands grab me by the shoulders and lift me to my feet. Before I can register what I am about to do and how awful of an idea it is, I clench my fist and hit him in the jaw. His face contorts in anger, and I know that I have crossed a line from which I cannot return. Voldemort shoves me backward by my neck until he has me rammed against the wall. I close my eyes, knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop this.

But I can put up a fight.

And I will.

* * *

"Are you all right?" a voice asks me.

I force my eyes to open, but I have to close them right away.

Soft hands grab me by the shoulders in an attempt to make me sit up, and I gasp with pain. The hands immediately let go. Everything aches.

"Charlotte," the voice says again.

This isn't my mother or Narcissa. My eyes fly open. Standing beside me is Rodolphus Lestrange, my father who does not know that I am alive. "Rodolphus?" I croak. Even speaking is painful. "Where is Bellatrix?"

"The Dark Lord would not permit her to come see you," he answers gently.

I try to sit up, but groan in pain and fall back against – what am I against? I look around. I am not on the bed as I had originally thought. I'm lying on a black sofa. Rodolphus slides his hands under my knees and my back and lifts me off the couch. I clutch onto his chest, trying my hardest not to cry out, as he places me into a sitting position. "Thanks," I whisper.

"Does…is it this bad every time?" he asks softly. He pulls out his wand and begins casting a spells at me. The pain lessens.

"No…I…I fought him…" I struggle to say.

Rodolphus freezes. "You fought him? Do you not want this to happen to you?"

I close my eyes. "I fear it," I admit.

He begins healing me again.

"Why is Bellatrix not allowed to see me?" I ask.

He stops again. "The Dark Lord does not want her seeing you in this state."

"Meaning he doesn't want her to know how he has abused me?"

Rodolphus doesn't answer, which in and of itself gives me the answer that I need. "Come on," he says, helping me to my feet. Unable to stop myself, when I am standing once again, I lean into his chest and stay there for a moment, thinking of all the "what-could-have-been."

Then I pull away and apologize, to which he does not answer, and we leave _the room_. Bellatrix is waiting in the hallway and runs to me. "I can take her from here," she says to my father.

He nods silently and shakes my hand once more. As he turns, I swear I can see his eyes glistening.

"Are you all right?" my mother asks quietly.

"As good as I can be, I guess," I say.

"You must be heading back to Hogwarts now," she says softly. "Goodbye, Aurelia."

"Until next time, Mum." She smiles. Then I Disapparate, going back to Severus's private quarters.

* * *

**Well...Voldemort is going to kill her... What do you think about that?**

**Too bad Bellatrix stopped her from telling Rodolphus the truth.**

**Would Bellatrix try to save Charlotte if she told her what is to happen, or is it too risky?**

**Should she tell Rodolphus what is going to happen to her?**

**How will Severus react?**

**Review!**


	89. Chapter 89

**Lalitya: Thanks for reviewing! Woot woot! 3! Lol. I wanted it to be Rodolphus because it would be a little bit more difficult for Charlotte that way. I can't say if Rodolphus ever figures it out. I don't do spoilers:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte will definitely try to defy them more, but they won't kill her. That means she will probably have to go through more torment though. She will have to stay hopeful that Harry can defeat him. If not, she'll lose her mind. I can't say if Rodolphus will ever find out or what Snape's reaction will be.**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! Yay for wifi! Voldemort is just a purely evil man, so I'm surprised more people didn't see it coming.**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! I was surprised more people expected the baby to die rather than Charlotte lol. I can't say if Rodolphus will ever know the truth. Snape's reaction is in this chapter.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I had that same thought as I was writing it!**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! She was going to until Bellatrix arrived. Then she couldn't bring herself to tell. It's okay. I understand not being able to review.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! The child is pretty much supposed to be another horcrux so Voldemort doesn't have to go through so much to come back to life. A piece of his soul will already be in a body, waiting for him. I can't comment on Rodolphus figuring it out lol. Completely going against Voldemort is certainly a whole other level. I don't think she'll be able to tell McGonagall either. I can't say what Charlotte will or will not do.**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I've been planning it from the beginning and was kind of shocked more people didn't assume it. He was never going to let her live because she would refuse to be a Death Eater. He verbalized it to scare her just a bit more, then threatened her to stop her from repeating it. His sinister side would definitely have enjoyed all of that. I can't comment on Rodolphus knowing, or on what Snape may or may not have known. Snape does care for her and will try harder to save her. Your dream came true again! **

**lee-lee94: Thanks for the review and the favorite and the follow! It makes me feel really good that you enjoy my writing style! I can't say if Fred is the one for her. I don't want to give away spoilers. Though it might seem that Snape and Charlotte are something more, they are simply friends, really close friends. I'm glad you're loving the story! I have a lot in mind for Rodolphus and Charlotte. Those scenes are certainly not over:)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 89**

Everything feels wrong now that I know I am going to die no matter what. I slowly open my eyes, and my heart nearly stops. My head is lying on Severus's chest, and his arm is around me protectively. Heat rushes to my face. This is uncharted territory. I always wake up first, and we are never this close.

As gently and subtly as possible, I lift my head up and attempt to move away. My hair brushes his face, and I hold my breath when his nose twitches. But he doesn't wake up. I still don't trust myself breathing, so I don't. I pull the sheets off of myself and slide to the foot of the bed to get away from his arm without waking him.

I grab my things and walk to Severus's private bathroom. I hope he won't mind me using it to get ready for the day.

When I go back into the room, I don't see him. I resign to lying on the black sofa. The door to the bathroom closes. I don't have to look over to know that he was somewhere in the room and is now not, though I have no idea where he had been. It doesn't matter to me much, honestly. I'd rather be by myself right now anyways.

Voldemort is going to kill me. He is going to put a piece of his soul into my child. I will not be here to protect my son. He will use my innocent, little boy to come back if he is ever killed. There is nothing that can be done to stop this.

Draco offered to help me run away. Is that even a possibility at the moment? I am a Metamorphmagus. No one would suspect it. I could change everything about myself. I could hide in America. I'm sure Voldemort would not expect me to go there. But if I did that, Severus would be punished. And how could I do that to McGonagall?

The answer is simple: I can't.

My only escape is through the death of Voldemort.

I don't look over when the bathroom door opens again. I would prefer for him to enter his office and begin working on whatever it is that he needs to do. He clears his throat, and my hopes crash around me. So much for me being alone… I turn to look at him and ignore the burning lump that is already forming in my throat and the stinging tears that are already sprouting up in my eyes.

"We need to talk," he says softly as he comes toward me. I sit up.

"About –" my voice cracks, "About what?"

He sits down next to me on the black sofa, and I pull my legs up under myself to give him more room. "Last night," he begins quietly, "you were talking in your sleep."

My face flushes. I don't remember saying anything when I arrived here last night. I was too distraught, but I could very well have spoken in my sleep. And if I did that, there is no way to know what I might have said. With so much going on in my life, many things could have been said last night. "What did you hear?" I ask.

"The Dark Lord has told you why he needs a child," Severus answers.

"Did you know?" I whisper.

"I was one of the few to whom he entrusted his plans," he says.

My heart clenches with anger. "You knew?" I ask bitterly.

"I –"

"You knew he planned to kill me, yet you have been feeding lies to me about how I will be okay?" I snap. "WHY THE BLOODY HELL DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?"

His face blanks for a moment. "He…he what?"

"YOU KNEW HE PLANNED TO KILL ME, SEVERUS," I accuse him, "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"

He shakes his head. "I didn't – I didn't know that, Charlotte," he says. "The Dark Lord…he never said he planned to kill you."

I wipe a few silent tears. "Well, that's his ultimate goal."

"What exactly did he say?"

"That if I have a girl, he will kill her. If I have a boy, once the child no longer physically needs me, he will kill me," I reply.

"He only wants a boy?"

"So if his current body is destroyed, he will have a readymade body to come back to," I whisper.

"And you're sure he plans to kill you?" Severus asks.

I can't speak, but the sob that escapes me is answer enough.

Quite like the time he comforted me in Spinner's End after Dumbledore's death, Severus moves over on the sofa and simply wraps his arms around me to console me. "You will not die," he says confidently. I bury my face farther into his chest. "Charlotte, I will not let you die. I swear to you, you will live to see the Dark Lord's life come to an end."

"But will I do that with or without a child?" I whisper.

"If there is any luck left in the world, without a child," he answers.

I chuckle sadly. "You think that the luck will bestow itself upon me?"

He's silent for a moment. "Yes."

* * *

I reach for the door handle. I've been in Severus's private chamber for hours. It's now dinner time, and I am finally allowed to show myself around the castle. This begins with leaving the headmaster's tower. Severus had to leave his quarters what feels like forever ago. At least I got the alone time I so desperately wanted.

But all that left me with was a mental debate over whether or not I should tell McGonagall about my fate. And after nearly eight hours of consideration, I have decided not to. I can't let her worry any more than she already does. When and if I become pregnant, I believe I might tell her, but until that time, I will not bring this hammer down. I just won't do it.

Enough of this though, it is time for me to go speak to her, even if not about what will happen to me. I open the door and enter the office. "Severus is away from his office at the moment," Dumbledore's portrait says to me.

"Where has he gone?" I ask. "I think I should tell him that I'm back."

"It is not my place to say."

I nod. Then it hits me. "Professor Dumbledore," I say quietly. "Do…do you know how Voldemort came back from the dead?"

"He was never truly dead," the man answers.

"But if the Avada Kedavra curse rebounded at him, how did it not kill him?" I reply.

"Lord Voldemort has mastered the Dark Arts, Miss Rodgers –"

"But you know the details, don't you, professor?" I interrupt. And though I thought I would regret being so rude to him, I do not. This is far too important for me to worry about formalities. "You know exactly how he did it, don't you?"

He doesn't answer.

"Professor, he told me what he plans to do with the child," I continue.

"What did he say?" the portrait asks.

"He intends for a piece of his soul to rest in the child so that he might come back to a readymade body if he loses the one he is currently using. But I don't know what that means, sir," I say. "But you do, don't you?"

"Miss Rodgers, what you have to understand about that is –"

He is cut off when the door to the office opens. I do my best to remain calm as I turn to see who has ruined my chance of knowing what Voldemort is doing. It's Severus, of course. After all, this is his office. "When did you get back, Charlotte?" he asks me.

I pick up his subtle hint. "Just now," I lie.

"Well, dinner is waiting for you in the Great Hall," he replies. "You must be famished."

As much as I want to stay and talk to Dumbledore, I know that Severus is right. I am completely starving, so I leave his office with more questions than answers and go to the Great Hall. McGonagall smiles at me from her seat at the staff table. This is all the encouragement I need to face my friends who will probably bombard me with questions once I sit down.

As I suspected, the moment I sit down, Christopher asks, "Where were you yesterday? And this morning? We were looking for you."

Why hadn't I thought about asking Severus his opinion of a viable excuse? I take a deep breath. "Well –"

"No lies," Jacob commands.

"We were worried about you, Charlotte," Emma states.

"Therefore we deserve to know," Julia adds.

"And we deserve to know everything," Daphne finishes.

They've just ambushed me. A good excuse…one that sounds reasonable without telling them everything that they do not need to know… "Okay," I say, "no lies. Once a month, I am required to have a meeting with the Minister of Magic."

"Pius Thicknesse?" Daphne asks. "Why would he want to meet with you?"

"I am in a unique position," I reply.

"Meaning?" Christopher questions.

"This is a long story, so don't interrupt me." They all nod their agreement. "I am in a unique position because the Ministry has no record of me – I am presumed dead and have been since my infancy. My mother tampered with some things to hide the scandal that having me out of wedlock would have been."

"Why is that important?" Christopher asks quietly.

I smile. After I specifically said not to interrupt me, he interrupts me. But it's Christopher, so I don't mind much. "Because I am thought to be dead, I am dispensable. I'm technically already dead. And as such, there is no one who can stop them from interrogating me."

"Interrogating you?" Emma speaks up. "Why do they want to interrogate you?"

"By now I trust that most of you are aware of the fact that Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters have infiltrated the Ministry. If not, you know now," I continue. "They interrogate me for a few reasons. One of those being because they believe I know how my mother went around the Ministry's system to erase me from their knowledge. But that's not a big deal to them.

"There are a few things that they really focus on. First, they want me to find out anything I can about Dumbledore's death. Any details I learn, I have to tell them. I –"

"Are you the one who turned them against Harry Potter?" Emma asks.

"Of course not," I answer. "I've been trying to convince them that it was not he who killed Dumbledore." Her worried look vanishes. I continue, "Second, they want to know everything about Muggle-borns. They want to know if there are any here – which we all know is impossible with the Muggle-born Registration thing," I meet Julia's eye and try to give her a reassuring smile. "Third and most important, they have me spying on certain people and reporting what is going on."

"You what?" Daphne hisses quietly. "How could you do something like that?"

I meet her gaze. "Do you really believe that I _would_ do something like that?"

"Well, it's just…they use stuff against people they interrogate, right? Like Veritaserum or something?" she replies.

"As of last year, I am a master of Occlumency – and that includes being able to lie through the effects of Veritaserum," I say.

"Who taught you something like that?" Jacob asks. "I mean, that's not something covered in school. Why would you need to know that?"

"I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix – something else they ask about," I answer. "But we've known for quite some time that this was going to happen to me – and by 'we' I mean Dumbledore and myself. Before I could join the Order, he had to teach me Occlumency. That way, when I would be interrogated by the Ministry and Voldemort himself, I could hold my ground."

"You're a part of the Order of the Phoenix?" Daphne asks.

"You've been interrogated by You-Know-Who?" Julia whispers.

"And that's why you might not be able to come with me for Christmas?" Christopher questions.

"Yes, to all of you," I reply. "But Christopher, I'm trying to set things up so I can go with you." I have to look away from them. "The last weekend of each month, I am called away from Hogwarts. I leave on Friday night and do not return until Sunday night."

"Every month?" Emma says.

I nod. "Yes."

"And that's why the Carrows listen to you?" Daphne guesses. "They work for You-Know-Who and because he has those meetings with you every month, they have to respect you and be kind to you, don't they?"

I have to keep my face straight, but it's difficult. Daphne has inadvertently answered my biggest problem. "That's exactly why."

* * *

"I met Rodolphus," I say as I take a seat in McGonagall's office.

"Your father?" the professor asks. "How did that come about?"

I pick up the cup of tea that McGonagall has set out for me and begin putting sugar in it. "Well, Voldemort used it as a technique to mentally torture me," I reply. I take a sip of the tea, trying to use this as a way to make it all seem less awful by turning it into a casual conversation. "He knew that it would be difficult for me to keep it from Rodolphus that I am his daughter."

"He doesn't know?"

"Not at all. Voldemort doesn't want anyone else knowing… My father still believes I am dead. All he did was talk about me – Aurelia." I give up the whole nonchalant façade I've been trying and push the cup of tea away. "I don't think I'll ever get over the look in his eye when he…when he talked about the life we could have had."

McGonagall, too, pushes her cup of tea away. "What did he say?" she asks quietly.

I find myself wringing my hands together, but I can't bring myself to stop. "Last Christmas," I begin, "Bellatrix took me to a cottage for the holidays, a cottage in which she had planned to raise me. For the first six months of my life, I lived there with my parents, as a family." I clear my throat, refusing to look her in the eye. Part of me can just see a five-year-old Aurelia Lestrange dancing in the Lestrange Cottage with her mother and father, enjoying life and having fun with her parents.

"Rodolphus talked about he loved her – me – his daughter. Well, me and Bellatrix. He said he has loved her since their sixth year. When they got married, she never cared too much, her true love always being Voldemort.

"But when they had me, he thought we could all be an actual family. She started caring more about him as she grew to care for me," I say. "Then the whole thing with Alphard happened, and she became distant toward him again.

"Bellatrix actually interrupted us at one point, and it broke my heart to see him look at her with this pained but loving look and her not even acknowledge it. I think...that's one of the only time's I've ever really wished things could have been different. Part of me misses the family I never had."

The professor has an odd expression, but does not seem upset by my words. "Was that the last you saw of him?"

"Actually, no," I answer. "Bellatrix tried getting me to go with her, but because Rodolphus had been charged with watching over me until Voldemort…" I pause. "Anyway, he wouldn't let me go with her. He offered her to stay with the two of us, but he wasn't going to let me go because it was his duty to watch me. Bellatrix, needless to say, left us. Then I saw him after…"

"What did he say…after?" she replies.

"He was sent in to heal my wounds."

Her face, for a split second, fills with fury before she can school it back to normal. "Wounds?"

"I resisted, professor," I say quietly. "I resisted the Imperius Curse. He wasn't happy. Then…I…I hit him…in the face…"

She smiles proudly, though it's obvious she is trying not to. "You hit him? You actually hit him – He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"In the jaw," I laugh sadly. "That didn't make things any better. He was…um…he beat me…to make me stop fighting him…" I rub my arm. "Rodolphus was sent in to heal me because the Dark Lord didn't want Bellatrix knowing what he had done…" The thought stirs odd emotions in me. My father had helped me. He had unknowingly been a real dad for a brief moment in time.

"You're okay now?" she asks.

"I have some bruises on my legs," I answer. "But other than that, yes." I don't want to talk about what Voldemort did to me so I continue talking about my father, "I think that's why Rodolphus said he wouldn't have wanted Aurelia to go through something like that…he wouldn't have liked his daughter being forced to have Voldemort's child. Proud, sure, but not overly thrilled at the thought. He knows what Voldemort is capable of…"

Despite my desire to cry, I continue, "When he finished healing my injuries, he took me to Bellatrix. I…I can almost swear I saw tears in his eyes…"

"Rodolphus Lestrange with tears in his eyes?" McGonagall asks doubtfully. "Why do you think he would have been upset if he does not know who you are?"

"Because I am a girl the same age as his daughter, and it is quite obvious that Bellatrix cares about me to some extent. I think…I think he was imagining what-could-have-been," I say. I smile sadly. "I wish it was he who knew about who I really am rather than Bellatrix. I think he would try his best to help me, as you do."

* * *

**What'd you think about that moment in Severus's private quarters?**

**Her lie to the second-years and Daphne?**

**Her conversation with McGonagall?**

**Review!**


	90. Chapter 90

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I think Rodolphus would do his best to help her, because she's his little girl:) Severus cares about her, more than either of them want to admit. The will hold pretty well. I can't say if McGonagall noticed anything or if she guesses what is going on. She'll probably tell Neville. I'm debating it. There are a lot of options lol**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I feel sorry for him too:(**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Rodolphus knowing the truth would definitely help Charlotte, but I can't say if he ever finds out. A lot of my friends grew up with a similar situation as you, so I know how much easier it would have been for them had their father been around.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I don't think she should tell them either. She only speaks of it when it is necessary. I don't think it's necessary for her to tell them.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I seriously enjoyed reading your review:) I hate it when authors abandon their stories, that bothers me a lot. Writing the story makes me happy, even in the sad chapters. Thanks so much for the kind review!**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! (88) I can't say if she dies! I don't give spoilers lol. I wish she could have told Rodolphus, but that would put him at risk. Severus definitely cares about Charlotte, but don't worry. They aren't in love. I wouldn't ruin the Lily thing. (89) It would put them in danger if she told them the truth. She doesn't want McGonagall to worry more about her. Sure, McGonagall would want to know, but Charlotte wouldn't want to do that to her.**

**Lalitya: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you're becoming a regular reviewer! I don't want to tamper with the whole Lily thing, so I don't think they can end up together :( McGonagall would want to know, but Charlotte doesn't want to add more stress or worry to the professor's life. I'll try to make it a tad predictable, but I don't like making it too predictable. That's not my style.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! The conversation with Christopher was a little lame, but that's because the others were around. Her conversations with him are better when it's just the two of them. I've got big plans for the Christmas holidays. Whether that means she is with Christopher or not, I can't say. But I have big plans :)**

**Cookie Monster: Thanks for reviewing! I don't want the two of them to have "relationship" in the sense of them falling in love. I don't want to mess with the Lily thing, but I'll have something start. I won't just start immediately though; I'll more of lead into it so it's not out of the blue. I thought about making the scenes more explicit, but the story is rated T, so there's a limit. I don't want push to far and be reported and all that. I'll try to do something, but don't expect it to become rated M material. I'm really sorry about that. There are also some younger readers that I know are reading it, so I don't want to push too far. But you're right. It is oriented for adults. I'll do something. :) I've already written up to Chapter 95, so I'll edit it, but expect more of your suggestions to come after that. Again, sorry…**

**wisteria713: Thanks for the follow!**

**EvanzN: Thanks for the follows and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 90**

In my free period on Monday, I go to the library. It's not that I need to study; I just know that the library is the quietest place for me to be. I would like to speak with Severus or McGonagall, but they are both busy at the moment. McGonagall is teaching a class, and Severus is in serious conversation with the portrait of Dumbledore. I went up to his office earlier and heard their frustrated voices from outside the door. It was then that I decided I should not interrupt.

So the library is where I am now and where I have been for roughly an hour. And it's been a nice hour of solitude. My thoughts are no longer running wild. Just about everything is in order. I know what I must do to get to Christopher's for Christmas. I know what I must do concerning Rodolphus. I know what I must do concerning Bellatrix. And I know what I must do about –

"Charlotte," Neville quietly interrupts my thoughts.

I look up at him. Ginny and Luna walk alongside him. "Hi," I say to them.

They all take a seat at my table. "You've been in Snape's office, haven't you?" Neville asks.

"A few times," I answer. "Why?"

"Have you seen a sword in there? The Sword of Gryffindor?" Ginny asks.

I think back. There had been a sword. It had been on one of the shelves, safely locked away in a glass case. "Why?" I reply.

"We need it, to give to Harry," Ginny says.

"Do you know where he is?" I ask, hope rising in my chest.

"Not exactly," Neville says. "But we have to try to get it to him."

"Why?" I prod.

"Dumbledore left it for Harry in his will," Ginny replies. "There had to be a reason. We have to find a way to get it to Harry. If we have the sword, we will at least have one part of that process complete."

"We could really use your help, Charlotte," Luna adds.

I nod. "There was a sword in there. When you walk in, it is on the far left shelf, close to the portrait of Dumbledore. You can't miss it."

"Do you know when Snape will be out of his office?" Neville asks.

Severus doesn't tell me when he plans to leave his office, and I've never really had much use to know. It would be suspicious if I asked him now. Even though he is truly Dumbledore's man, I doubt he would take too kindly the idea of three students sneaking into his office and stealing the Sword of Gryffindor. "The only time I know for sure that you would have a shot at getting it…" I don't know if I should do this. What if Severus finds out? "The end of October," I say. "Do you have a calendar?"

Luna hands me one within seconds. I desperately want to ask why she carries one around with her and keeps it so handy, but then I realize that this is Luna. She has a number of peculiarities. But she's cool, in an odd way.

"Thanks," I say as I look at the end of the month. Seeing the days in print makes it seem so much closer. I silently vow not to look at calendars anymore. I don't like countdowns. "Okay…so, the twenty-fourth." I point to the day. "The Friday before the last weekend this month."

"What time?" Ginny asks.

Severus was a few minutes late last time, which means I cannot tell them to break in right at eleven. That would be too risky. But they can't wait too much longer after that. This is trickier than I thought it would be.

"Are you still with us?" Luna asks.

"Yes, just thinking…" I answer.

"And to what conclusion has your thinking led you?" Neville says.

"Be there no later than ten past eleven," I reply. "Be there no earlier than five past."

Ginny looks at me curiously. "The times need to be that precise?"

"Unfortunately, yes," I say.

"Why?" she replies.

"Because he will leave his office at eleven, but he could be running late. You won't have much time because he could return sooner than expected." I don't know how much detail I can give away without making them leery of trusting me.

"How do you know this?" It's like Ginny knows what is going on between me and Severus but is waiting for me to slip up and say it.

"I am being summoned from Hogwarts," I say. "I am being taken somewhere by Snape. But I don't know when he'll be returning."

"Who is summoning you?" Luna asks. "Why do you have to leave Hogwarts?"

Ginny and Neville glance at each other. They have both kept my secret to themselves. For that, I am grateful. Before I can answer, Daphne walks up to our group, "Charlotte," she says nervously, obviously uncomfortable with being around these three, as they do not know her change of heart. "The Carrows want to see you."

I sigh. "All right." As I stand, I turn to Neville and Ginny. "She can know," I say. "But only her."

They both nod, and I leave with Daphne. When we are out of earshot, Daphne asks, "What can only Luna know?"

"Oh," I laugh. "Ginny and Neville know about my interrogations. I was saying that Luna can know as well, considering she's important in the D.A."

"You told them?"

"They needed to know why I had to be a secret member of the D.A. I had no choice," I say.

"It's the Ministry that interrogates you, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Lucius Malfoy is – or _was_ – important in the Ministry."

"At one point he was, but then he was caught in the Department of Mysteries –"

"– and was imprisoned in Azkaban. But he escaped along with the others," she continues. I have no idea where she's going with this, so I remain quiet. "He's still a Death Eater though, and he has been for a while." She stops, and I think she expects me to say something. This is confirmed when she starts staring at me, then asks, "Have you seen the Malfoys recently?"

"I – why?"

"It's just…Astoria has been asking about Draco," she says quietly.

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know exactly," Daphne answers. "Apparently, at some point last year, they began talking late at night in the common room. She's says that they're friends but that she hasn't heard from him since last June, when Dumbledore was killed."

"I never knew they had spoken," I reply.

"I hadn't either. But she's worried about him."

"The next time I see him, I'll make sure to –"

"No, you can't tell him!" Daphne shrieks. "I wasn't supposed to say anything. I just figured if anyone could give her any piece of mind, it would be you."

Draco has never before mentioned Astoria. "Just how close are they?"

"Not as close as you and Draco, of course, but it sounded like they spent a lot of time in the common room together," she replies.

I make a mental to ask Draco about this. "So anyways," I say, "what do the Carrows want me for?"

"There's really no telling with them," she says. "I mean….it's them…"

"Right."

We're relatively quiet after this. I'm still trying to figure out how it got past me that Draco and Astoria were friends. Then again, I shouldn't feel too bad about it. Daphne is Astoria's sister, and she didn't know. This is most definitely something I need to speak with him about. It bothers me a bit that he didn't trust me enough to tell me.

"Ah, Miss Rodgers," I hear.

I look up. I hadn't realized we were already at Alecto's office. Amycus looks to Daphne. "You are free to go now."

Daphne gives me a friendly smile then leaves as she was all but commanded to do. Alecto grabs me and pulls me into the office as her brother throws a few spells over the door. I suddenly have this icy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't trust these two. "Can I help you?" I ask.

They force me to sit down. "What have you learned about Dumbledore's Army?" Alecto asks.

"Nothing so far," I lie.

"You've been spying on them for weeks now!" Alecto argues. "Surely you must know _something_."

"Well, I don't," I say calmly.

"Who is the leader?" Amycus asks.

"I don't know."

"Who is in the group?" he tries again.

"I can't say."

Amycus's hand thrusts forward and grabs my throat before I have a chance to stop him. "Don't make an enemy of me," he growls.

"Isn't that…the other way around?" I choke out. "Shouldn't I…be telling you…not to make an…enemy of me? After all...who does…the Dark Lord…care more about…huh?" He releases me. "That's what I thought."

"If you are helping with the resistance against the Dark Lord, I'm sure he'll see fit to punish you," Alecto hisses.

"Back off." Amycus took a step away from me. "Now," I continue, "I am more than willing to tell you who is a part of the D.A., but if I do that, it will be fairly obvious who has snitched, don't you think? I'll be shunned from the group, and you will have lost your informant. Give me more time."

Neither of the siblings seems comfortable with this arrangement.

"Would it be better for you to go unknowing for a few more months – or weeks," I amend when I see their angry faces, "or would it be better for you to lose your informant before anything real has actually happened? I already gave you Neville for the detention thing. You don't want something like that happening again but me unable to help you because you were impatient." I stand up. "I will let you know when things become more important. You don't want to know the little stuff. It's not worth your time."

They reluctantly let me leave the office. Once the door is closed, I breathe a sigh of relief. That was a close one. I'll have to tell them something eventually. I'll need to speak with Neville, Ginny, and Luna about what is going on. They need to know the position in which I find myself. I will not tell the Carrows anything that is not first approved by the three of them.

My hand is suddenly seized, and I am pulled into a room. I reach for my wand, but my arms are pinned against a wall. When I finally gain my bearings, I see Gregory Goyle glaring at me. "What do you want?" I hiss.

"We're only doing what we should have done our fifth year," I hear.

I look around Goyle to see Crabbe pointing his wand at me.

"Which is?" I ask.

"Killing you."

I laugh.

"You find your death funny?" Goyle growls.

"No, what I find funny is the fact that the two of you honestly believe you have the nerve or the ability to kill me," I say.

Goyle tightens his hold on me. "Oh, we have the nerve," Crabbe says, coming around Goyle so I can see him better. "Do you not remember?"

"Remember what?" I laugh.

"Fifth year, Umbridge's classroom, the first day of Defense Against the Dark Arts," Crabbe answers.

"That means virtually nothing to me," I say.

"You don't remember," Goyle says quietly.

"You won't forget this time," Crabbe assures me.

I laugh. "The two of you are making no sense at all."

"You almost died," Goyle states.

"The Entrail-Expelling Curse," Crabbe says. "Had we simply known the curse better, you would not be standing here right now."

Now it's coming back to me. Draco had to escort me to the hospital wing because I got ill. But I wasn't ill. It had been a poorly executed Entrail-Expelling Curse.

"I can tell by the light in your eyes that you are beginning to remember," Goyle says. "This time though, there is no one to save you."

"Right," I reply. "So, why exactly do you want me dead?"

"You can't kill a Death Eater and expect us to let it go unnoticed," Crabbe snarls.

"What Death Eater have I killed?" I ask.

"Avery."

I can't help but laugh, but it's mostly from shock and frustration. "How do you know about that?"

"Potter was not lying about our fathers being Death Eaters," Goyle states.

"They told us about what you did," Crabbe adds.

"And they asked you to kill me?" I reply.

"Not exactly," Goyle adds. "We've taken it upon ourselves to rid the world of you, get in good with the Dark Lord for when he takes over. It's nothing personal."

"By killing me?"

"Avenging a fallen Death Eater," Crabbe says.

I start laughing again.

Goyle's grip on me tightens. "You find your death funny?" he repeats.

"Why don't you go speak with the Carrows?" I suggest. "Then you might understand why I'm laughing! Or go speak to Severus! He'll tell you just how important I am to the Dark Lord!"

"You? Important to the Dark Lord? You're not fooling us!" Crabbe snarls.

"He'd kill you the moment he saw you because of Avery!" Goyle adds.

I sigh. "You poor, ignorant, little boys…you know nothing of the truth. Maybe you should find out everything about me before you attempt to harm me again."

"Crabbe," Goyle says quietly, "what…what if she's telling the truth?"

"You believe her?" Crabbe growls.

Goyle's grip on me lessens. "I…I don't know…"

"I think you do know, Goyle," I say.

"Prove it," he says.

"Snape is a Death Eater, as are the Carrows," I answer. "The Dark Lord is staying at Malfoy Manor with the Malfoys and Bellatrix Lestrange. He has a snake named Nagini. He killed Charity Burbage before term started during a meeting discussing how to kill Harry Potter."

"Crabbe," Goyle whispers.

"Don't listen to her!" Crabbe shouts.

"How do you explain what she knows?" Goyle asks.

"I don't know," Crabbe says. "But it doesn't matter! Move aside!"

Goyle's grip lessens again. "But, Crabbe –"

I slip my hand away from Goyle and pull out my wand, making sure to expel Crabbe's wand from his hand before I do anything else. "Now," I say, moving my wand between the two of them. "If you _ever_ come for me like this again, I am going to kill you. And if you truly know what I did to Avery, you know that I will have no qualms about ending your pathetic lives." I start walking toward the door. Then I leave without looking back.

* * *

I've been in Severus's office for a little over ten minutes, just waiting for the opportunity to tell him the news. I'm sure he's forgotten about it by now, as I had. But I would still like to see his face when he learns the truth.

"How did she act around Rodolphus?" his voice floats to me.

I look up. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We were talking about your mother and father," Severus says. "What's gotten you so distracted?"

"Okay, I can't wait any longer. I know who tried killing me in my fifth year!" I rejoice.

He pauses for a second. "Which time?"

I try to keep my face serious when I say, "The time after you tried killing me for Stunning you," but it doesn't quite work, and a smile breaks across my face before I can stop it. As quickly as I can, I school my features.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Severus. "Not many students can get away with Stunning a professor," he says.

"I'm not a real student," I reply.

"Point taken."

I smirk. "I meant when someone used the Entrail-Expelling Curse on me."

His brow furrows. "I remember that."

"Really?" I ask. "I had completely forgotten."

"You had forgotten about a near-death experience?"

"I never considered it a near-death experience," I reply. "For me, it was the catalyst that started the relationship between me and Draco. After that hit the fan, I sort of blocked out what happened between the two of us. That includes what started our relationship."

He nods. "Understandable enough. So what happened?"

"Well, earlier today, the Carrows summoned me for questioning about the D.A. On my way back, Crabbe and Goyle pulled me into a room, threatening to kill me." I start chuckling to myself. "They told me they tried killing me with the curse our fifth year. You should have seen their faces when I convinced them I was working for the Dark Lord!"

Though he has been smiling since I began laughing, his face drops and becomes serious. "You told them you were working for the Dark Lord?"

"They wanted to kill me because of Avery," I reply. "So yeah, I had no choice, really. They panicked."

"They believed you?"

"I told them some things that only Death Eaters would know," I answer.

"You think they'll just back off? If they're anything like their fathers –"

"Severus," I interrupt him, "I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But Slytherins are all about self-preservation. Just as Pansy has left me alone since our row in the common room – which I will explain momentarily," I say when his eyes strike a question. "Crabbe and Goyle will leave me alone based on the principle of staying in favor with the Dark Lord."

"You're right about that, I suppose," he replies. "But if you need anything, don't be afraid to come to me." He smiles and adds, "Now let's hear about this row with Parkinson."

* * *

**I finally answered the question of who tried to kill her back in the beginning of the story! It took nearly 80 chapters to do so, but you know... How many of you had forgotten about that?**

**Helping with the Sword of Gryffindor thing. Good or bad?**

**Will the Carrows eventually just give up on her being a spy?**

**Review!**


	91. Chapter 91

**I just found out this morning that I will not have internet tomorrow. Something is wrong with it, and we have to have someone fix it. I am incredibly sorry. I'll update first thing Thursday morning though:)**

* * *

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! I thought about making it Pansy, but I figured Crabbe and Goyle had better reasoning**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! It was never a huge deal to me that we didn't get to see Crabbe and Goyle. I never really liked them lol. Yeah, this is what I meant about writing around the Sword of Gryffindor**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I really have! Lol, I've been planning that for what feels like forever. I forgot about for a short time too ;) Charlotte doesn't know the sword is a fake, so she's going to do her best to keep Severus out of it. She doesn't believe he would help them steal it. She has to do something about the Carrows soon, before it's too late.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! I figured a lot of people would forget since it was so long ago. That's fine. If you can't review, don't worry about it lol. I promise I understand.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Most things don't typically work out for people lol**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I felt like it was finally time to bring it up. Charlotte definitely has a lot to worry about, but I don't think the Carrows would back down completely. They want to know about the D.A. too badly for that. I can't comment anything about Charlotte and Severus's relationship, but you're right about that being a good ending. I'll take it into consideration:)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! You're emailing your friend the story? What do they think about it? I don't think the Carrows will give up either. I can't say how the sword thing goes down. It's covered in this chapter:)**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I figured a lot of people would forget about her near-death experience, so I wanted to dig it up before I forgot about it completely. Sounds good, thanks for all of the reviews you've already left**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! They couldn't involve Draco back when it happened because it was obvious that he was attracted to her. I can't say exactly what will happen, but they'll pretty much leave her alone. I really like the idea of having her introduced to the other Death Eaters. Thanks :) I have plans for Rodolphus. The sword thing takes place in this chapter.**

**lee-lee94: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't like how we never knew anything about Draco and Astoria. I won't focus much on it, but I'll talk about it a bit. I kind of guessed that a lot of people would have forgotten about her almost dying because so much has happened since then. I don't think it'd be weird because they're such good friends; I think it'd be weird because of the age thing. Part of me wants them to end up together too…but idk…**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! Bad things will definitely happen if she gets caught, but Charlotte never really cares about her own personal safety.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I'm extremely sorry about that. But I've got some bad news for you…Christopher won't return until Chapter 93 (you'll see why). The Carrows are indeed too stubborn to give up their spy, but I can't say what all is going to happen with that. The sword thing is dealt with in this chapter.**

**Tiny midget: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you found my story and gave it a chance:) I never actually intended for it to be this long. But I wanted it to take place over the last three books. I thought about splitting it into three different stories, but decided against that. So now I have one giant story lol. I'm glad you're enjoying it. It becomes easier to write when I know that people like to read it!**

**justabitweird: Thanks for the follows and the favorites and the review! I'm really glad you like the twists and look forward to each chapter. I look forward to updating each chapter :) I'm excited about the end. I can't wait for everyone to read it! I really like your idea, but I can't say if that's what I'm going to do or not lol. I also cannot comment on what the Carrows will do. I don't give away spoilers:)**

**Naokam: Thanks for the follows and the favorite!**

**evijaanna16: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 91**

No one really expects anyone to be out of bed this early (it's not even five yet), so I don't worry with using the Silencing Charm. Of course, I am still hidden under the Disillusionment Charm. I don't want anyone accidentally running into me. I don't think that would go over too well.

I stop at McGonagall's door and quietly enter the office. Then I take the Disillusionment Charm off and take a seat in front of her desk. I reach inside my robes and place a wrapped box on her desk. Now all I have to do is wait. I pull a chair up beside me and prop my feet up on it. There's no way I can know what time she gets up or how long it takes her to get ready. This could be a while.

Probably due to my anticipation, the time seems to slowly creep by. What feels like a few years later, her door opens. McGonagall gasps and pulls out her wand. Just a second later, she lowers her weapon and whispers, "You startled me, Charlotte. What are you doing in here?"

I smile, standing and going to hug her. "You thought I was going to let your birthday slip by unnoticed, professor?"

"My – who told you?" she replies.

"Come on, professor," I say, going back to my seat on the other side of the desk. "Do you really believe that I don't have ways of finding things out?"

She smiles. "Who told you?"

"The library," I reply. "There was an article about a Robert McGonagall marrying an Isobel Ross. Then there was one about them having a daughter named Minerva on October 4 of some year." I smile, purposely refraining from saying the year.

"You went through that much trouble? Why?"

"I wasn't just going to ask you," I say. "You would wonder why, and then you would have become difficult and not told me."

"What makes you think I would not have told you?"

"You wouldn't want me getting you anything," I answer, motioning to the box I had placed on her desk earlier.

She seems to notice it for the first time. Then she picks it up and tries handing it back to me. "I can't accept anything," she says.

"Sure you can," I reply, refusing to take the box back. "Professor, it would mean the world to me. After everything you've done for me, I want to give you something that means a lot to me."

Reluctantly, she unwraps the box and opens it up. She stops. "Charlotte," she says quietly. "I can't take this."

"You can," I state. "I want you to."

She pulls the amulet out of the box. "Professor Dumbledore gave this to you, Charlotte. I can't take it."

"Yes, you can," I argue. "You don't have to wear it or anything. I just want you to have it," I can't tell her that I want her to have it so she can remember me when I am killed by Voldemort. I can't bring myself to say it. "As a matter of fact, I haven't worn it in a while. I just keep it as a reminder that there are bigger things happening than just me. But I want you to have it, because it is one of my few belongings that truly mean something. I want you to have it." She won't understand unless I tell her that I am to die, but I can't tell her. I just can't.

"I can't take this from you," she repeats.

"It would mean more to me if you had it than it does if I have it," I say. "Please, don't be difficult about this. Take it. I want you to have it."

McGonagall places the amulet back on her desk and stands up. I stand up as well, and the professor comes around the table and wraps her arms around me. "This is too much, Charlotte."

"It's really not enough," I counter. We pull apart. "Happy Birthday."

She smiles, and I do my best to ignore the glisten in her eyes. "Thank you."

* * *

I had really been hoping that October would crawl by, but here I stand in the Clock Tower Courtyard, waiting for Neville and Ginny and Luna to arrive so we can set their theft plans in motion. They will attempt to steal the Sword of Gryffindor tonight. I believe I am more nervous than they are. I don't want to ruin Severus's trust in me, but this is something that I have to do.

When the three of them make an appearance, I walk over to them, and we all turn to the leave the courtyard. "You're sure he'll be gone tonight?" Ginny asks.

"Completely," I answer.

"Do you know the password?" Neville questions.

"Yes, it's 'Cokeworth,'" I reply.

"Like the town?" Ginny says. I don't say it, but that had been the town in which Severus had met Lily.

"My father says there was once a sighting of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack there, but then they all went to Sweden. He's been trying to find one ever since," Luna says.

I open my mouth to ask what that is, but I decide not to. It's no secret that her father is a bit of an oddball. "You remember the times you are allowed to break in?" I ask.

"Before 11:10, after 11:05," Neville answers.

"Precisely, and try to be quiet," I reply. "If Snape comes back early and ends up going to his private quarters, he might hear you. And I believe we all know that him finding you is not the best thing."

"Where does he take you, and why wouldn't he stay for a while?" Luna asks.

"He takes me to Malfoy Manor," I say. "Depending on who is waiting for my arrival, he stays to speak with them."

"They keep you under a close watch, don't they?" Neville says.

I smile, knowing that this is only the case at the manor. "Yeah," I lie. This is my chance, "Speaking of which, the Carrows believe I am a spy for them. I have to start telling them things, or they'll begin to suspect that I'm not what I say I am."

"What do you need to tell them?" Ginny replies.

"Names of members of the D.A., the leaders of the D.A., how you all communicate with one another," I say. "But I'm not going to say anything that is not first approved by the three of you."

"Well, I don't believe it's the best idea to divulge the names of the leaders," Ginny suggests. "But they can know that the three of us are in it, considering they probably already know that."

"And if you could find a way to pin a few things on some of the filthy Slytherins – no offense, Charlotte," Neville says, "we would be grateful."

"No offense taken," I assure him. "Which ones should I incriminate?"

"Crabbe or Goyle would be good," he says.

"But that might be difficult seeing as they're so willing to do anything the Carrows require," Luna interjects.

"Then some of their friends," Neville suggests. "Where does Daphne Greengrass stand in all of this – she was the one who took you to the Carrows, right?"

"That was her, yes," I say. "But she's against them just as much as I am. Both of the Greengrass sisters and the second-years I hang around with are thoroughly against the Carrows."

"How would they feel about joining the D.A.?" Neville asks.

"They want to, but I advised against it," I reply.

"Why?" Luna asks.

"Because they're Slytherin," I state. "The other Houses don't trust us, but the Carrows do. I didn't want You-Know-Who to learn that Slytherins have turned against him."

"They could be members like you," Ginny offers. "They could be secret members."

"If we could get Slytherins to do things, I believe it will be an advantage," Neville says. "You, being a spy, could pin it on some of the other Slytherins."

"You have a point," I agree. "I'll talk to them about it. They'll be thrilled to be able to do something." I pause. "But I still have to tell the Carrows something. They've been interrogating me recently. What would be safe for me to tell them? What would you allow me to tell them?"

"The three of us are part of the D.A.," Neville says. "Stick with that for now."

"Will do." We separate – or rather I separate from them – with a quick word of goodbye.

* * *

I put a spoonful of sugar in my cup of tea and stir it around. I don't know why, but having tea at night with McGonagall makes me feel like I have a place and a purpose in this world. It makes me feel like I'm finally where I belong.

But later on, I have to leave her office, and that feeling abandons me.

But for the time being, it's nice. "You will be leaving again tonight at eleven?" McGonagall asks me.

"Unfortunately," I reply. "But perhaps I will not have to spend the day with my father. That was hurtful," I laugh and point to my heart, "in here."

She tries not to smile, but one plays at her lips nevertheless. "It's good to see you can joke about it," she comments kindly.

"If I don't make jokes, it'll make meeting him more difficult," I say. "And I don't want to hate meeting him. In fact, I enjoy talking to him. I like to hear about what I was like as a baby. I've always had this – I've always been curious about…you know, how I was before the orphanage." I hear myself say this and recognize how pathetic it sounds. I know practically nothing about myself. "I'm sorry," I add quickly.

"Don't be," McGonagall says. "It's understandable."

I smile at her. "Anyways," I say, trying to make the conversation lighter, "I am working on a way to go to Christopher's home for Christmas."

"I sincerely hope you can," she replies.

"Me too!" I say. Then I notice the amulet on her desk, the one Dumbledore gave me that I gave her. I don't mention it, but it makes me feel great to see it there. It means a lot to me that she keeps it somewhere she can see it.

For the remainder of my time with McGonagall, I purposely keep our conversations on a happier note. But I can feel the light tone slipping away as eleven 'o' clock approaches. We both notice it but don't comment. We just let everything play out the way it wants to.

The time comes too quickly, and I feel my heat begin to race and butterflies churn in my stomach. This is all so important. Ginny, Neville, and Luna cannot be caught. "I should be going, professor," I say sadly as I look at Alphard's pocket watch. "I have five minutes to get to Snape's office."

We stand and say our goodbyes. Then I make my way to the bathroom on the third floor so I can Apparate to Severus's private chambers. I watch the seconds tick away on the pocket watch, all the while wondering where Ginny and Neville and Luna are. Eleven comes, and I immediately go to the headmaster's private quarters.

Just like last time, Severus is not here when I arrive. I don't go lie down as I had before. I pace back and forth, constantly looking at the pocket watch. Two minutes have passed. What if the three of them show up while Severus is still in his office?

Finally, the door opens up, and in walks the headmaster. I can breathe normally again. "I thought you had forgotten about me," I say.

Severus closes the door and looks at his own watch. "Charlotte, I'm only three minutes late."

"But late nonetheless, Severus," I say.

"Forgive me," he replies. "Next time, I will make sure to be more punctual."

"That's all I ask." I walk toward him and simply hug him. "It's more difficult now that I know I am going to die either way," I admit quietly.

He holds me securely in his arms. "You will not die." He kisses the top of my head. "I swear to you, I will not let you die."

I stretch up and press my lips against his. I know that he is telling me the truth. He'll do all that he can to make sure that I live through this and that I see Voldemort die. I slip my hands up his chest and wrap them around his neck.

We freeze with the sound of shattering glass. "What was that?" he asks, turning toward the door.

"Wait," I say, pulling him back. "I'm sure it was nothing." I force his lips back against mine, trying to take him to the bed with me.

"Hurry!" someone shouts.

He pulls his lips away from mine. "Stop," Severus commands, gently pushing me away.

This could not be worse. I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and follow Severus into his office. His door is open, and the case that had once held the Sword of Gryffindor is smashed open, the sword gone. The headmaster dashes for stairwell that leads out of the tower. I chase him.

"Stop!" he commands the three students. They don't, of course. Severus whips out his wand and hits them all with the Impediment Jinx. Then he summons the sword to himself and walks around them to stand in front of them. "Well, well," he says. "Longbottom, Weasley, and Lovegood – why am I not surprised? Just where were you planning on taking the sword? To your friend, Potter? Do you know where he is?"

They all remain quiet.

"I do not appreciate students stealing my things," he continues.

"It isn't yours!" Neville barks.

"Isn't it though?" Severus replies. "I am headmaster now, and as headmaster of Hogwarts –"

"That means nothing!" Ginny interrupts him. "Professor Dumbledore left that sword to Harry in his will!"

"And why would he do that? The sword was not Dumbledore's to give away," Severus says.

"And Dumbledore would not have had to give it away if you had not killed him!" Neville shouts.

Severus smirks. "The Gryffindor courage has poisoned your mind with ludicrous thoughts of your own invincibility," he comments. "I feel it only right that we break down that courage and put you in your proper place." He looks up. "Ah, Amycus, Alecto, take these three down to Hagrid's. They will serve their detention in the Forbidden Forest with the oaf." The Carrow twins, though I have no idea how they knew something was happening, take the three away.

Severus then starts back up to his office, and I run ahead of him, straight into his private quarters. Once there, I take the Disillusionment Charm off myself and stand in the middle of the room.

A few short moments later, Severus enters. He watches me. "You knew." It is not a question, it is a statement. "There is no use in lying."

I sigh. "Severus, I'm sorry. It's just –"

"Do you realize what could have happened to them?" he hisses.

"I –"

"Think about what would have happened had the Carrows caught them with that instead of me, had the Dark Lord learned that the sword was stolen, had it been discovered who the thieves were?" he continues. "You didn't think of those repercussions at all, did you?"

"Severus –"

"No, Charlotte," he growls. "You should have told me! Why would you let them do this? Why would you let them endanger themselves?"

"Because, Severus!" I reply. "If they stood a chance of getting that sword to Harry, I thought Harry might stand a better chance stopping the Dark Lord. And you know what that means for me! I thought it might help me! I thought I would stand a better chance of survival! I had to do _something_! You know I can't just sit around idly during all of this!" Tears begin falling down my face. "I can't rely on everyone else to save me. Sometimes I have to take things into my own hands. Sometimes I have to make a difference!"

"Charlotte," he says gently. He takes a step toward me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "You are making a difference."

"How?" I shout. "I'm doing nothing! I'm sitting on the sidelines like a little child, hoping that everyone else will solve my problems!"

"You're not," he disagrees. He squeezes my shoulders. "You know the truth about me. Do you really believe I could live with myself when everyone hates me, if no one was aware of the truth but me and some portraits? Charlotte, you help me stay sane. And because I am sane, I can help Harry Potter defeat the Dark Lord once and for all. You make a difference." He wipes the tears from my cheeks.

I give him a slight nod.

He bends down and kisses me."You make a difference."

I wrap my arms around his neck to keep him from pulling away. I jump up into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist. Severus walks me to the bed and gently puts me on the mattress. His hands slide under my robes and work their way up my legs.

As it has become a normal thing for me, I do not have to pretend that it is someone other than Severus who is kissing me.

* * *

**Well, she's already planning out what will happen after she dies. What did you think about her gift to McGonagall?**

**At least now she has _something_ to tell the Carrows. How will that work out? Will it be enough to calm them down?**

**What about the sword thing and the ending of this chapter?**

**Review!**


	92. Chapter 92

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! They know it wasn't her fault. She told them to be quiet, and we saw how that went over lol.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say if McGonagall realizes the symbolism or not. It's not enough, but it's a start, which might calm them down, even if only for a short while. They'll definitely come back for more information though. I can't say how they'll blame the Slytherins. :)**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to indirectly show how much Charlotte cares about McGonagall. The Carrows will calm down, but just a small bit. They'll come back for more later.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! McGonagall will definitely be upset when she finds out the truth. The Carrows won't be overly pleased, but at least they'll think she's trying. Charlotte doesn't know that, but of course we know that Snape fixes it:)**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, I was trying for something a little more dramatic for her lol. The punishment Snape gave was the one that was mentioned in the book, but it does show that he cares about their safety.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't review:)**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say if Minerva suspects anything, but I did want to show how much Charlotte cares for her. We all know what happens with the sword because of the book, so I couldn't have them get away with it. Besides, the sword was a fake. Snape and Charlotte definitely need each other, even more than they think lol. Snapealicious…that's a new one:)**

**rosie. horgan.7: Thanks for reviewing! They're not falling in love, I promise. I don't want that really.**

**Archerygirl99: Thanks for reviewing! I can't say if Fred dies or not. **

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Tell your friend that I say thanks! Charlotte wants to get everything in order, make sure those most important to her are left the way she chooses rather than with nothing. It'll calm the Carrows for a while, but it won't stop them. They'll want more. I assure you that they are not falling in love. Snape loves Lily, and Charlotte loves Fred. They don't love each other. The last line was more of a way to show that Charlotte has grown to care a lot for Snape; she no longer has to pretend he's someone else. She's not in love with him, and he's not in love with her. They simply care a lot about each other.**

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for the follow and the review! I really appreciate hearing that people enjoy my story:) I try to make sure the little details are right, but sometimes they slip by me. I'm glad you're reading! **

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! The Carrows will back off for a short while, but that little piece of information won't keep them at bay for long. She should have told him, but she's Charlotte and doesn't usually realize the best course of action until everything has been said and done.**

**sanajoshi: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**brushstrokes: Thanks for the follow!**

**Simumu: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 92**

Everything is back to normal. This morning, when I woke up, Severus and I were once again on opposite sides of the bed. My best guess is that he felt protective of me the last time, when I told him of my fate. At least, that's what I assume because nothing else has changed between us.

Now I am sitting on the white sofa, nervously awaiting my seven 'o' clock trip to Malfoy Manor. I have no idea who will be "watching after me" when I get there, and quite frankly, I don't think it matters much. I would prefer it be someone in my family (other than Lucius) because I feel that it is easier to be afraid in front of them, like I have no standards to which I will be held.

"You're going to be fine," Severus says as he takes a seat next to me on the sofa.

I don't say anything. I focus on trying to stop my trembling. Knowing that Voldemort could abuse me as he did last time makes this a bit worse.

"I'll be here when you get back," he assures me.

I look at the clock. It's time for me to go to Malfoy Manor. "That's good to know," I say.

He nods at me, and I Disapparate.

The moment my feet hit the floor in the drawing room of the manor, someone's arms are around me. It takes me a moment to register who it is. "Draco!" I rejoice.

"Charlotte, I've been so worried about you!" he replies. "Come on, I have been asked to watch over you until Bellatrix gets back. We have a few hours!"

I smile. This day just got slightly better. "Where are we going?"

"Just come on!" he laughs. "You'll see!"

"You know I don't like surprises!" I say as he takes me by the hand and begins leading me through the manor.

"I think you'll like this one though," he replies. "I'm sure of it."

Draco takes me through the countless corridors and hallways until we've reached the backyard. There is a grand garden that I saw briefly during my tour during my first Christmas holidays with him. Many of the flowers are no longer blooming, but the hedges that reach well above my head are still as green as ever. It almost seems like a maze through which my cousin is leading me. We don't stop at any of the beautiful wooden benches spread throughout the garden, which makes me believe that we aren't visiting the garden itself but something else. "We're almost there," Draco comments.

I don't know where "there" is, but I don't ask. I glance back at the manor. Someone could easily get lost in this maze of hedges and flowers, but I'm not nervous. Actually, I am quite at peace. Perhaps this is one of those things that Draco has a knack of doing: Making me feel better. Even when we're all but lost in a garden, I feel safe with him. I feel almost like we are children again, even though we never knew each other back then.

At last, we have reached the end of this thing. It opens up to the lake. This is where Draco was going to teach me to fly a broom. The thought makes me sad. Sure, I still want to know how fly, but I really hope that this was not his idea of a good few hours. Stretching out into the lake is a wooden dock. At the end of that dock is a gazebo. Something tells me that Draco does not intend on us sitting in the gazebo.

"I go here to clear my thoughts and get away from the Death Eaters that so often frequent our house now," he says, hiding his bitter tone quite well but still not able to conceal all of it. He waves his wand. From the other side of the gazebo emerges a small wooden dinghy. "I find the gentle motion of the water calming." He smiles at me. "We don't have to go out there, we can stay on land if you'd like. I just thought I'd give you the option."

I find myself eyeing the craft enviously. "Let's go out onto the water," I reply.

A broad smile covers his face as we walk out onto the dock and crawl into the little boat. It magically carries us into the middle of the lake. The view of the manor makes it seem even more massive from out here. The rising towers remind me of Hogwarts. I glance at Draco; he's smiling at me. "Why do you always seem at awe when you see the house?"

"Because I grew up in caves and borrowed homes," I say. "And it's hard to believe that my family owns something like this."

"I wish I had known you back then, back when we were only children, back before all of this started happening," he says quietly. "Can you imagine what life would have been like had You-Know-Who never risen to power, had he never been born?"

"I haven't put much thought into it, honestly," I reply.

"I have. Would you like to hear what I believe life would be like?"

I smile. "Sure."

"I suspect that Bellatrix would have still married Rodolphus, which means I hope you would still be here. Your parents would never have gone to Azkaban. Our mothers, being close sisters now, would have been even closer then. We would have grown up together," he says. Then he points to the area beside the garden. "We could have learned to fly a broom right over there, learned to swim in this lake, learned magic together from our parents." He smiles. "You could have been the sibling I never had. We would have ruled Hogwarts together – you could have calmed down my arrogance, because let's face it, I've struggled," he chuckles to himself. "Potter would never have been famous. We – the children of the Lestranges and the Malfoys – we would have been the great ones at the school."

"Your arrogance," I interject.

He laughs. "You know what I mean." His eyes fill with sadness. "The life we could have had," he whispers. "I miss it sometimes."

"Me too, now that you make it seem like it actually happened," I say.

"But our children, they'll grow up like siblings, the way you and I should have," he replies. "It doesn't matter if the last name of yours is 'Weasley.'"

I look away. "I don't know if it will be," I say quietly.

"He still hasn't spoken to you?" Draco asks.

I shake my head. "No."

"The git…" Draco mumbles. "He'll come back around."

Draco's confidence makes me believe it might be true. "What about you and Astoria Greengrass?" I ask innocently.

My cousin nearly chokes on his own breath. "What?" he struggles to ask.

"She's been asking about you…I was just wondering…" I reply. "How long have you known her?"

"Well, I've known of her since she first arrived at Hogwarts and was placed in Slytherin," he says. "But I didn't really know her until last year. You weren't always down in the common room with me late at night. Sometimes, it was Astoria. We…we just got to know each other, that's all."

"Sure," I reply.

"What did she say?" he asks quietly.

"She's worried about you. Apparently you haven't spoken in a while?" I answer.

"Well, I didn't think it'd be safe for me to try to contact her, not with everything that's going on," he says. "How is she?"

"She hates the Carrows, and Snape, and the Dark Lord."

"Good, make sure it stays that way."

"She wants to join Dumbledore's Army, which has reformed since the Carrows arrived."

"Don't let her," he says firmly.

"Wasn't really planning on it. I've been advising against it."

He nods. "Thanks."

"You like her, don't you?" I reply.

He looks away. "I don't really know. I mean, I care about her for sure. But I don't know."

"I'll do my best to keep her safe."

Draco smiles at me, a silent "thanks" shining in his eyes. "So anyways," he says, "when we have kids of our own, they will be the cousins who are siblings. There is no debating this."

"That sounds perfectly fine with me," I laugh. My laughter dies quickly. "Let's just hope it isn't the Dark Lord's child."

"It won't be. You won't have his child. Something is going to change. Your children will be Fred Weasley's. Don't ask me how I know, I just do." He clears his throat. "When this war completely breaks out, and the Dark Lord finally faces Potter, if you need to disappear, I'll be here to help you in any way that I can. I need you to understand that."

"Thanks, Draco."

We sit out on the lake for a few more hours, Cosmo the house elf bringing us breakfast and lunch. During this wonderful time, I nearly forget about me impending duty, the real reason I'm here at Malfoy Manor. It all comes back to me when I hear, "Draco!" come from the shore. I turn around to see who has the nerve to interrupt us. It's Narcissa. Beside her stands Bellatrix. Then it hits me: All of what Draco said earlier could have truly taken place had it not been for Voldemort. My bitterness towards him rises.

"I guess my few hours with you is up," he says sadly. The boat begins propelling itself back to the shore. When we reach the dock, Draco climbs out of boat then helps me out as well. We walk toward our mothers.

"Aurelia," Bellatrix greets me, forcibly taking me into her arms as she does every time I see her.

"Mum," I reply, which has become a habit of me to call her when in her presence.

"The Dark Lord has requested that I watch over you for the remainder of your time here," she says happily.

I nod then turn to Draco. We hug each other. "Thanks for everything," I say.

"Anytime," he replies.

Narcissa gives me a swift hug after Draco. Then the woman and her son leave me and Bellatrix behind. "Come along," she says to me. We begin walking toward the manor. "How long have you been out here?"

"Since I first arrived this morning," I say.

She nods. "Have a good little discussion with your cousin?"

"We always have good talks."

"What about?"

"What life could have been like for the two of us – meaning me and him – had you and Rodolphus not gone to Azkaban, how we could have grown up together," I reply, only partially lying to her.

She smiles. "Cissy and I actually talked about that when we learned she was pregnant."

"If only life had been kinder."

My mother stops at a bench beside some rose bushes, and we sit down. "I've gotten orders from the Dark Lord," she says quietly, taking my hand in hers. "I cannot spend the Christmas holidays with you."

My heart leaps with joy. "Really?" I ask, keeping my voice even. "What am I to do instead?"

"You are to stay at Hogwarts with Snape until that last weekend of December. You'll have to come back here as usual," she answers. "Then you are to go back to Hogwarts."

"Oh." I can definitely get Severus to let me go to Christopher's for Christmas. This works out perfectly, but I can't let her know that I'm happy about these arrangements, so I keep my face neutral.

"But," she says joyfully, "I have spoken with the Dark Lord about me being able to spend time with you –"

"I thought he didn't want me to be a distraction to you," I interject.

She smiles. "That's why he won't let you live here at the manor with me," she replies, "but he believes I can influence you in great ways, so he supports me spending some time with you."

"When?"

"He has given me permission to take you back to Lestrange Cottage for your eighteenth birthday," she says. "He has given you permission to leave Hogwarts after dinner to meet me here so I can take you the cottage. He should have already sent word to the Carrows and Snape."

I smile. "Great."

"That's not all," she says quickly.

"Really?" I reply.

"He has assured me that we will have the Easter holidays together," she answers, "or at least part of them."

"And this change of heart is because he wants you to try again to convince me that everything is going to be all right?" I reply. "That this is an honor?"

"Yes."

I ignore the anger bubbling in me and smile at her. "At least we get some time together, right?" I ask, seriously hoping it didn't sound as fake to her as it did to me. Apparently she believes I was being sincere because tears fill her eyes and she viciously pulls me into her arms.

Together we stay in the garden until it is time for me to go to Voldemort. My mother leads me to _the room_. She takes me into her arms one last time. "I'll be waiting for you, Aurelia."

I pluck up my courage and enter, assuming my typical fighting demeanor.

* * *

"Oh God, Charlotte," I hear. I pry my eyes open. Narcissa stands above me, horrified.

"Nar-Narcissa," I whisper.

"The Dark Lord sent me to help you," she says gently. "What happened?"

"I fought…I fought…the Imperius Curse… I wouldn't…I wouldn't…go…willingly," I fight to say. Everything hurts. I'm sure I've been abused, as I was last time. Blood tickles as it runs down my face and arms.

Narcissa's motherly hands touch my face. "Is it really worth all of this?" she asks quietly.

I nod the best I can.

My aunt pulls out her wand and begins waving it over me. The aches lessen until they are completely gone. "Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes," I say. "I always am."

Narcissa smiles and helps me to my feet. "How much more of this can you take?"

I wrap my arms around her and whisper in her ear, "Until he is killed once and for all."

She tenses but says nothing. Then she leads me to Bellatrix. My mother's face pales a bit. "Aurelia, what's happened?" she whispers frantically.

"I – what?" I reply.

She reaches out and grabs my arm. Narcissa gasps. "What happened to you?"

There is fresh blood on my sleeve and a large cut that I guess Narcissa missed earlier. "I…I…I don't know…"

"Aurelia," her tone is firmer with me than it has ever been, but I can't tell her that Voldemort has been physically beating me. I'll be punished for such things.

"Is that…I thought you said you weren't hurt when you fell, Charlotte," I hear Narcissa offer.

An idea strikes me. "Did that really happen? I thought…I thought I dreamt that…" I look at Bellatrix. "Like when I was incoherent and you had to escort me back to Snape's."

"How did you fall?" she asks, obviously suspicious.

"She tripped over my feet when I was helping her up," Narcissa quickly lies. "And she caught herself on the bed frame, but I guess it did more damage than we thought."

"And you're okay?" my mother asks. She has no reason to doubt me or Narcissa, which is probably why she just accepted our answer as truth.

I nod. "Yes, Mum, I'll be fine." She quickly pulls me into her arms. I give Narcissa a smile; she returns it. Things could have gone very badly. Next time, we need to make sure all evidence of my beatings is gone before I go to Bellatrix.

My mother and I separate. "You can't be here much longer," she says quietly. "The Dark Lord has ordered you back to Hogwarts."

"I'll be back next month," I reply, "for my birthday."

She smiles and gives me a quick goodbye, as does Narcissa. Before I Apparate to Hogwarts, I give Draco a hug as well, and when I do, he slips me a letter. I don't look at it; I simply hide it in the sleeve of my robe. Then I leave.

Severus is already in his private chambers. "It was worse this time," I say.

"The Imperius Curse?" he asks softly.

"No, I can still break that," I reply, "but he was angrier this time. Narcissa had to heal my wounds. Bellatrix nearly caught us. There was still blood on me."

"You – he made you bleed? What did he do to you?" he whispers.

"I fought him, but after a few punches, he threw me onto the coffee table. The table, you know, has sharp corners…" I shrug. "It's no big deal. I'm better now."

He walks over to me and wraps me up in his arms. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this," he says quietly.

"It could be worse."

"I'm trying my hardest to protect you," he says. "I hope you know that."

"Of course I know that." I stretch up and kiss him, taking his hands in mine and pulling him toward the bed with me. If I make it through this war alive, I will forever be indebted to Severus, but there will be no way I can ever repay him for what he has done for me. He is one of my greatest friends, if not the greatest overall.

* * *

**What did you think about her time with Draco?**

**Will Christmas work out the way she hopes?**

**Does Charlotte have what it takes to go through a beating like that every month?**

**Review!**


	93. Chapter 93

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I hope she can too!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to give Charlotte some time with Draco:) I think she'll be able to strictly because she knows the alternative. She refuses to let him do that to her willingly because that goes against everything she believe in.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I love her and Snape! I have big plans concerning the holidays.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! The letter thing is answered in this chapter and a little later on. I wanted her to be able to think about a good childhood, even if she never had it, which is why I had the Draco thing. I think she'll go too. I have a lot of things planned for it. He does get his way every time, but I don't want to push the limits of the "rated T" thing. I didn't want to mention her being anxious about it because I wanted it to be a complete surprise when and if she gets pregnant. But I'll add some of that in there, because I see your point:)**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! It's difficult for her, but she goes through it for the people she cares about. She fights back the best she can. I love how she acts around Bellatrix lol. I enjoy their relationship. I think she'll be able to spend Christmas with Christopher too:)**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted Draco and Charlotte to still be close, even though they don't see each other all the time anymore. I think she'll be able to do it since she's doing it not only for herself but for people like Snape, McGonagall, Draco, and Mrs. Stoico.**

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for reviewing! I noticed that too, but try as I might, I couldn't get it like the others. I think it's because there were so many change of scenes, which I don't do much. I might take you up on your offer when I run into a problem like this again. Thanks :)**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I think the holidays will work out. They're important in the grand scheme of things. Charlotte's strong, and she's fighting for the people she loves as well as herself. It would be a difficult thing to live through, but there are people in certain places of the world that are forced to go through some of the same things. But at least she has people who care about her, such as Snape and McGonagall and Draco. The stress will make it harder for her to conceive for sure, but not impossible. I've thought about letting Snape live, but I don't know. It's up for debate right now.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I want them to be close, because they have always sort of been there for each other. I hope Christmas works out for her. Charlotte manages because of the people who care about her.**

**Kate: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I couldn't read the letter for a reason. You'll see why in this chapter:) Well, they are wizards…and she does get completely healed after it. But I see your point. I've had that in mind for a while. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 93**

"I will be gone two weekends next month," I tell Severus over breakfast the following morning. One of the house elves brought us everything that is being served in the Great Hall at this very moment. The headmaster sets his pumpkin juice aside. "Bellatrix wants to spend my birthday weekend with me."

"I know," he says quietly. "The Carrows and I got word from the Dark Lord. You are to Apparate to Malfoy Manor shortly after dinner that Friday, and you are to come back here that Sunday."

"Right," I reply. "Did he tell you why I am to spend so much time with her? Has he told anyone about my reluctance to serve him?"

"No, but I assume he does not want his Inner Circle to know that a young witch is rebelling against him. The others who have begun to shy away – the Malfoys, for instance – might gather the courage they need in order to completely turn away from him."

I clear my throat. "So what did he say?"

"He told me to keep a close watch on you, the Carrows to make you more comfortable here at Hogwarts, Bellatrix to convince you that this is not as bad as it seems, and Narcissa and Draco to keep their mouths shut about your trepidation concerning your duty."

"But he let me spend the day with Draco," I reply. "Why would he do that if he fears that Draco and his parents are going to turn against him?"

"He was probably hoping to use that as a tactic to make you more compliant. Last time, you spent the day with your father as a form of mental torture. I believe he was hoping that through granting you an easy day, you would not fight against him," Severus answers.

"He puts too much hope in me being compliant," I state.

He smirks.

"Oh," I say quickly. This is my chance to ask. "I am to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays, but I was hoping –"

"That you could go with young Collins?" Severus asks. I nod, smiling, already knowing where this is going. "That is more than fine with me. I believe you need to get away, even if only for a few days. You need to be able to live a normal life. Just come back here before you go to Malfoy Manor. Let the Carrows catch a glimpse of you."

"The day after Christmas?" I ask.

"Yes."

He has to go to his office shortly after this. I grab the letter that Draco had slipped to me. The back of the envelope says, "Astoria." Slightly disappointed, I can't help but smile. If it was anyone else, I'd be offended at the thought of being an owl, but this is Draco.

Anticipation of telling Christopher the good news makes the day trudge by slower than usual. It takes all of my willpower not to run to the Great Hall when I finally allowed to leave Severus's private chambers at dinner.

I smile at McGonagall as I walk into the Great Hall. She smiles back. Fighting the urge to run again, I walk to the Slytherin table, take a seat next to Daphne, and grin creepily at Christopher.

He tries not to look back at me, but his eyes continually drift up and meet mine. Then he forces himself to look away. His eating slows, eventually stopping altogether. He clears his throat and shifts uncomfortably, looking to the others as if hoping to get some help. No one offers any. "Is…um…did I…er…hi, Charlotte," he stutters. "You're…um…kind of…well…freaking me out a bit…could you…maybe…um…stop…stop staring?"

"I have great news for you!" I laugh.

"Is…is that why…um…you were staring?" he whispers.

"Yes, I wanted you to acknowledge me," I reply.

He clears his throat again. "Um, well, I…I'm acknowledging you now…so…could you…could you stop grinning like that?"

Daphne giggles, "I do the same thing to Astoria!"

"See, Christopher," I say, "I'm not the only one."

"Anyways," he says awkwardly, "what news do you have for me?"

I smile. "Christmas," I say. "I can go."

The little boy punches the air in victory. "Seriously?" he asks.

"Seriously," I reply.

Christopher's smile is plastered to his face for the rest of the meal.

As I'm leaving the Great Hall, I drift toward Astoria. "I have something for you," I say to her. I hand her a letter. "I saw Draco over the weekend. He wanted me to give that to you." I had partially hoped it was for me, but I had read Astoria's name on it and pieced together what Draco wanted.

She takes the letter in her hand as if it is the most precious thing in the world. "Thank you," she breathes.

* * *

"Evening, professor," I say to McGonagall as I enter her office.

She stands and comes over to me, wrapping me up as Bellatrix had done before I left Malfoy Manor. "Are you all right?"

"Of course," I answer. We both take a seat. "But next month, I will be gone the two last weekends."

"Not for –"

"No, professor," I quickly say. "I am to go with Bellatrix for my birthday. The Dark Lord believes she can influence me to appreciate my duty."

She shakes her head. "Does Bellatrix really believe you will ever be persuaded to appreciate that?"

"That's what they all believe," I say.

"And I'm guessing there is no way out of this, is there?" she asks.

"Not at all," I say quietly, "you know how she is…"

"All too well, I'm afraid." There is a knock at the door. We both pause. I shrug as a way of telling her I have no idea who could be here at this hour. "Come in!"

Alecto and Amycus enter the office. "Miss Rodgers," Alecto says, "Severus said you would probably be in here."

"I…you know why I'm in here," I say. "I thought I told you to leave her alone."

"We need you to come with us," Amycus states.

"Um…why?" I reply.

"We are not required to answer your questions," Alecto states. "But you are required to come with us."

I sigh and give McGonagall an apologetic smile before leaving her office with the Carrows. "What is this about? You know I am allowed to speak with her," I say as we walk through Hogwarts.

"Yes, we know this," Amycus replies. "This is not about you speaking with the Gryffindor. This is about Dumbledore's Army and the information you have given us, or rather the lack thereof." He looks over at me. "That has to change. We can no longer be kept in the dark."

"So…what? You're going to torture me for information?" I reply.

"Of course not," Alecto states. "The Dark Lord has demanded your comfort. We would not go against him in such a way."

"I was just wondering," I say.

We stop at Alecto's office, and we all enter. They put me in a seat in front of the desk. Alecto sits behind it, and Amycus sits next to me. The sister hands me a bottle of butterbeer. "Drink up," she says. They both open a bottle of their own.

I take the lid off and begin drinking. Although I have not been subjected to it in a while, I know the feeling of Veritaserum as it attempts to take over my mind. Little do they know that I can fight of the effects of the potion. "So what do you want to ask me?" I say.

"We need names of the students who are in Dumbledore's Army," Alecto replies.

"Well, I only know of three at the moment," I say. "Besides myself, of course."

"Who?" Amycus quickly questions.

"Well, the three that I know of are Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, and Neville Longbottom," I answer.

"Do you know how they all communicate with one another?" Alecto asks.

"No, whenever they want to speak with me, they catch me in the corridors."

"Who are the leaders?" Amycus replies.

"I don't know that," I reply. "I don't think anyone really knows. The positions are blurred. There is no leader, other than rebellion itself." I continue drinking the butterbeer.

"You're positive?" Alecto says.

"Completely."

"Are you willingly serving the Dark Lord?" Amycus asks.

"Yes," I say.

"No doubts about serving him?" Alecto interjects.

"None."

Amycus switches topics quickly. "How old were you when you learned of your duty?"

"I was ten."

"You were in the orphanage?" Alecto shifts closer to me.

I desperately want to ask why this is relevant to anything, but if the Veritaserum was truly working against me, I wouldn't ask them anything. I would answer. So I have to answer. "It was the reason I left."

"Can you describe what you looked like back then?" Amycus folds his arms.

"Black hair, blue eyes, pale. I don't really know what you want me to say…"

The siblings are frustrated with me now.

They keep me in the office for an hour, still trying to get me to tell more about Dumbledore's Army, even though I claim to have no idea. They eventually just accept my lies, probably due to the Veritaserum they think they cleverly gave me. When I stand to leave, Alecto quickly says, "You'll make sure the Dark Lord knows how we're treating you? That we're doing our best to make your stay here at Hogwarts more tolerable?"

I smile, biting back my mocking laughter. "I'll put in a good word for you." I have to dodge out of the office before they realize that I could not care less about their standing with Voldemort. I know exactly where I'm going.

"They've upgraded to Veritaserum!" I erupt, storming into Severus's office. I freeze when I enter. All of the portraits turn to me. The headmaster seems bothered by something. "I…I…" Now I feel like a complete imbecile. I shouldn't have just burst into the office.

The silence lingers for a few moments before Severus finally clears his throat and says, "What's happened?"

"The Carrows!" I laugh. "They just interrogated me about the D.A. They spiked my butterbeer with Veritaserum!"

Severus walks away from where he had previously been standing by one of the portraits. I believe his name is Phineas; Dumbledore reprimanded him when he had gotten upset about Severus using the Imperius Curse against me. "What did you do?"

"I resisted the effects, of course," I say. "You taught me well. I'm just curious, Severus. Under whose authority were they given the right to use Veritaserum against me?"

He pauses. "You don't honestly think I did that, do you?"

"No," I quickly say. "But have you heard anything? I mean, I'm fairly certain Lord Voldemort wouldn't advise them to use it, seeing as he knows I have been taught Occlumency!"

The headmaster seems to contemplate what I have just said. "I have gotten no word about them using Veritaserum."

"That's what I figured," I say. Then I walk toward the wall, toward the portrait of Phineas. I spin back around to face Severus. "But then I started thinking," the wizard crosses his arms over his chest, watching me. "How would they get the potion? It's not like either of them are competent enough to make it themselves. And if they are, why would they be using it against me and not on the detention students? Which use of it would be more productive?"

"Using it on students in detention," he answers, even though I'm sure he realized it was a rhetorical question.

"On my way up here, I began thinking about some of their questions," I continue. "They asked me whether or not I was willingly serving the Dark Lord. Now, he already knows that I am not serving him willingly."

"But he wouldn't have told them that," Severus says logically.

"You're right, sir, _but_ their questions were not random."

"Meaning?"

"They had been practiced. It was question on top of question on top of question, one after the other. And they took turns asking. Amycus would ask me something. Then Alecto would ask me something. I hardly had time to breathe before I was attacked with another."

"But –"

"No, listen," I say. "Their questions hardly pertained to Dumbledore's Army. They were asking about my childhood. Why would the Dark Lord care at all about my childhood?"

"He wouldn't."

"My thoughts exactly," I agree. "So my question is: Who gave them the Veritaserum, told them to question me about my childhood, and had them inquire about my loyalty to Voldemort?"

We both stand in silence, trying to put the pieces together.

"It would have had to be someone in the Inner Circle," I say.

"I was thinking the exact opposite," Severus replies.

"Why do you say that?"

"Most of us know that you learned of your duty when you killed Avery – yes, that is common knowledge now," he answers. "We know that you were young, so none of us would need to ask that."

"But no one else knows that I was in an orphanage. I keep that to myself, always making up lies to hide that fact, as do those who know the truth about me," I reply. "They knew I was in an orphanage. How else would they know that unless they're in the Inner Circle?"

He thinks for a moment. "But, Charlotte," he counters, "those of us in the Inner Circle believe you are loyal to the Dark Lord. Why would they need to ask that?"

"If they're not in the Inner Circle, why would the rising power of the D.A. trouble them so much? It affects no one beyond Voldemort and his followers."

"But none of the Death Eaters besides myself are going against the Dark Lord," he replies. "None of them would suspect you rebelling."

"No one besides the Malfoys," I say.

"But if they wanted to know something, Draco could simply ask you. Did he ask you any of this when you were with him those few hours on Saturday?"

"Stop confusing me with your reasonableness!" I say. "You know I have a point, sir. You know that the things they're asking me are things only a Death Eater of the Inner Circle would care about knowing! No one else knows about me being connected to Voldemort!"

"But what Death Eater, other than me, is against the Dark Lord?"

"I don't know!" I say. "But what if they're not going against him as much as they're trying to turn him against me? What if they know the truth, but they have to prove it?"

We're both silent again for a few moments. "I guess…you may have a point…" he finally relents.

"You do too," I reply.

"So we're still in square one," he comments.

"We'll figure it out," I say.

"We typically do."

* * *

It's too late for me to be in the common room, but I can't help it. Sometimes, though I hate it, the view of the Black Lake is rather interesting. Granted, I would much rather be looking over the grounds from the Gryffindor Tower, but still, this is nice every now and then.

The fire crackles in the hearth. Part of me wants to go speak with McGonagall about the Carrows forcing me to undergo Veritaserum interrogations. But I don't want to. There are some things that I feel she is better off not knowing. That I am going to die, that the Carrows are questioning me, and that someone in the Inner Circle does not trust me are facts that I cannot tell her. They will only worry her more.

I feel as if I cause enough anxiety in her life.

I throw my legs onto the couch and lie down, closing my eyes to blindly listen to the fire.

My birthday seems like it will be a stressful time. I don't know how I am going to survive my mother for another weekend, especially not on a day as significant as the day I was born. This is going to be difficult.

Someone touches my legs, and I open my eyes. "Move over, Charlotte," Christopher commands. "Make some room."

I smile at him and sit up normally on the sofa. "What are you doing awake?" I ask him.

"Looking for you, actually. You're kind of predictable, no offense. I knew you would either be arriving in the common room later, you would be in here right now, or you would be coming down early in the morning and would see me and wake me up. I took a shot." He grins. "I guess I got lucky."

"Do you need something?" I ask.

"Yes, I got a letter back from my mum. She's thrilled that you can come for Christmas. I just wanted to tell you is all," he says. "And, I wanted to ask what you want for Christmas."

"You're not getting me anything," I say firmly.

"Either you can tell me, or we can guess," he replies.

"You'll have to guess, because I don't want anything."

He tries not to laugh. "Maybe Julia will be able to come over while you're with us."

"Julia?" I reply. "Do you live close to her?"

"Well, yeah…I thought you knew that? We grew up together," he says.

"But…I thought she was a Muggle-born," I say.

"She is."

"Then…how…how did you grow up together?"

"My dad is a pureblood, but my mom is a Muggle-born. She and Julia's mum were like sisters. They're parents raised them together, and they raised us together."

"I never would have guessed."

"She's my best friend," he states.

"Then I'm sure she'll be able to come over at least one of the days," I reply. Now I think I know why Julia wanted to be in Slytherin.

"What do you want for Christmas?" I ask him.

"Oh, I'm not going to tell you," he says. "My parents are gettting me stuff. You don't have to."

"Oh, but I do," I reply. "Just tell me."

"Then you tell me."

I smile at him. "Okay, I want…one of those pictures. You know, from the Christmas party. I want the one with me and Draco." I throw my feet up on the coffee table. "You can pick a nice frame."

He smirks. "You know I have to get you more than just that."

"Well, you can guess on anything else. Now, what do you want?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Git," I laugh. "I'll think of something. What ages are your sisters?"

"Nine, six, and four," he answers. "But you don't have to get them anything either."

I smile at him, knowing very well that I will find a way to repay this family for everything they've offered me.

* * *

**Charlotte's playing Owl now... How long do you think it will take before she becomes annoyed with the idea?**

**Is someone truly behind her interrogations, or are she and Snape being paranoid? If there is someone, who do you think it is?**

**Christmas is going to be a great time. Right? Or will something dreadful happen?**

**And her birthday will be a dreadful time. Right? Or will something great happen?**

**Review!**


	94. Chapter 94

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really looking forward to Christmas and her birthday. The big plans are meant to shock everyone:)**

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for reviewing! It might be her dad, but it might not. No spoilers from me lol. I'm glad you're liking it:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I don't want to say if someone is actually behind it or if the Carrows are working on their own. I like to surprise people! I'm really excited about Christmas and her birthday. She's not so much a replacement as she is a help to get move on.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Well, she also won't see Draco often so it's not like she's playing owl every day. It won't be too much longer before you find out what happens!**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte doesn't have to play owl every day, just once a month when she goes to Malfoy Manor, so I think her patience will last a bit longer than usual, especially given that it is Draco. Snape definitely knows the difference between caution and paranoia. I'm excited about Christmas and her birthday.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I have some chapters of fluff coming up, don't worry. I'm sorry about that. I'll do something. Christmas comes after Chapter 100…you'll see why soon.**

**EvanzN: Thanks for reviewing! I don't think she'll get annoyed either. Someone could easily be behind the interrogations, but they very well could be acting of their own accord. Only time will tell lol. I can't wait for Christmas and birthday things! Thanks!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte and Draco is a relationship I enjoy writing:) Christmas will be interesting. She'll get through it.**

**zhalia4moon: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**InsanityInsanity: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 94**

"Where are you always running off to?"

I glance up in the bathroom mirror. Pansy Parkinson stands behind me. I don't understand why she insists on pestering me. This is the third time since my return yesterday that she has asked me this very question. It's not like I've spent much time in her presence. She has hunted me down every time she wants to ask, as if that is going to make me answer her.

"Do you think that no one notices?" she continues. "Because we're all talking about it."

"Is that so?" I reply. "And what are all of you imbeciles saying?"

She smirks. "Wouldn't you like to know…"

"Not as much as you want to know the truth," I retort.

Pansy huffs.

"Well, if this fruitless conversation is over," I reply, going for the door. She reaches out and grabs my arm. I raise my eyebrows at her, looking between her hand on my arm and her eyes. "Is that something you really want to be doing? You know that I do not allow people to touch me. I thought you would have learned this by now."

"I'm going to warn you only once, Charlotte," Pansy growls. "You can either tell me what you do, or I can come up with something that will ruin you forever."

"Really?" I reply. "And just what can your peanut brain come up with?"

She smirks. "You know, I believe you leave Hogwarts once a month because you are pregnant."

Everything drains from me. "What?" I laugh, trying to hide my nervousness.

"I can sell that lie easily," she hisses. "After all, it is no secret that you've been quite serious with some guys. First Draco, then Fred. Who is the father? Weasley? You disgust me. And from what I hear, rumor has it that you were seen coming out of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom with Neville Longbottom. I wonder what you were doing in there…" Her eyes become even more evil than I thought they could. "Were you doing some moaning of your own?"

I smirk at her. "You honestly believe that I'm like you?"

Her jaw clenches. "You're a harlot, Charlotte," she giggles. "How long do you think it will take before that picks up? It's catchy…so, my guess is a few days, three at most."

"Do you want to enter this battle of wits with me, Pansy?" I ask. "Think long and hard before you answer. Once we go down this road, there is no turning back."

She grins. "I've been a Slytherin much longer than you, Rodgers. I believe I've learned a thing or two about wit."

"I don't doubt it, but, as much as I hate to break it to you, Pansy, you can't outgrow stupid." With this, I leave the bathroom, Pansy on my heels.

"You're going to regret everything," she hisses.

Her hand grabs my shoulder tightly as we descend to the common room. This is my chance to get the upper hand. "NO, PANSY!" I shout. Her grip lessens slightly. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL ADVENTURES WITH CRABBE!" I look back at her just long enough to wink at her before I enter the common room. Most of the Slytherins are in here. All of those who are present are frozen, staring at me, no doubt due to my shouting. Pansy stops behind me, and I hear her gasp. "Sorry," I apologize to those in the common room, "I didn't mean to yell."

They all gape at Pansy and me. I walk toward the second-years and the Greengrass sisters. "I told her not to enter a battle of wits with me," I say quietly.

I glance around the room. Quite a few people have migrated to Pansy, and her face has lit up a bright red. "I can't believe Pansy told you," Daphne replies.

"I – what?" I ask.

"Crabbe!" someone shouts. I turn around. Crabbe is just now entering the common room.

"What's happening?" I whisper to Daphne.

"I don't know."

Goyle bursts from the crowd around Pansy and sucker punches Crabbe, who instantly falls into the wall. "What the ruddy hell was that for?" he shouts.

"You and Pansy?" Goyle replies.

Crabbe glares at Pansy. "You told him!"

"No!" she argues. "It wasn't me!"

"Then who?"

Everyone looks at me. I stand up.

"You!" Crabbe shouts, pulling out his wand. "I knew we should have ended you when we had the chance!"

"Let's just think about this for a second –" I am cut off by someone bursting into the common room.

The intruder is Amycus Carrow. "You!" he says, pointing at me. "Come with me!"

Pansy grins evilly, as if believing that I am no longer on good terms with the Carrows. I look to Daphne. She nods knowingly. At least I won't leave the second-years completely defenseless.

I follow Amycus out of the common room. "Something wrong?" I ask. In answer, he points to the wall, where "_Dumbledore's Army, Still Recruiting_" has been written. "I…I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Amycus replies. "You see, this was not down here half an hour ago."

"What are you asking me?"

"Which Slytherin did this?"

I laugh. "I don't know."

"If it's your friend, that little Collins boy, you better believe his detention is going to be a living hell. Tell me who did this."

"Don't threaten my friends."

"Who did it?" he repeats.

"I don't know!" I shout.

He points his wand at me. "Then you'd better find out. Slytherins do not turn against the Dark Lord."

"I'll do my best."

He squints at me as if trying to see a lie in me. "You'd better." He starts to walk off but turns back around to say, "Be in Alecto's office tonight."

"Why?" I ask. "I've answered everything!"

"Not everything." With that, he leaves me standing there.

"Wait, wait!" I call after him. Amycus turns around. "Crabbe just now entered the common room. He was one of the few not in there before." I point to the wall. "Maybe –"

"Don't do that," he cuts me off. "Don't you dare try to pin this on the son of a loyal Death Eater."

"I was just trying to help," I reply.

"Find out who actually did this, and stop attempting to blame it on those loyal to the Dark Lord." He leaves.

I go back to the common room. Everyone is waiting for my arrival, and they're all staring as I close the door. "Hello," I say to them.

"What was that about?" a first-year asks.

"I'm afraid I cannot say," I reply. "The Carrows trust me is all, and they needed to ask me something."

I walk over to my friends and sit down. "Pansy didn't actually tell you, did she?" Daphne asks.

"No, I just wanted to start a rather embellished rumor. I had no idea that it could be true," I say. "What happened?"

"Pansy and Crabbe had a fling over the holidays," Daphne whispers. "It was their way of lashing out at Draco for him leaving so suddenly last year. Goyle didn't know either."

"Why did he care so much?" I reply.

Daphne laughs. "Goyle has always had a small thing for Pansy."

"What about Draco?"

"Draco did at one point, but he never really cared much about dating or relationships until you came along. By then, Pansy had all but fallen in love with him, but Goyle still had a thing for her."

"And the fact that Crabbe would go behind his back like that –"

"Wouldn't bode well with him, one would think," Daphne says. "But look at the two of them." I turn to see Crabbe and Goyle both glaring at Pansy. "It seems they blame her rather than each other."

I shake my head. "I don't understand people." A smile plays at my lips. "And this explains why I am antisocial." I glance over at Pansy and her group of friends. None of them are even looking at me. At least I can rest easy about one thing: Pansy will not attempt to "ruin me" because of her own pride. It would seem childish of her to say some of the same things that I have implied. I smile at my own victory.

The smile soon fades. Now I am going to have to watch my back. As Slytherins, they will certainly want revenge for what I have just done. They're probably fashioning together a plan of attack at the very moment.

* * *

I take a deep breath just outside the door. It's well after midnight, and all I want to do is go to sleep. But the small voice in my mind says that deep down I would rather talk to someone. Convinced that this is the course of action I should take, I knock. As suspected, there is no answer. Even so, it is still a bit of a letdown.

I knock again. Sighing, I spin around and freeze. Neville, Ginny, and Luna are coming toward me. "What are you doing, Charlotte?" Ginny asks.

"Looking – looking for McGonagall," I answer. "What are all of you doing?"

"Working on some stuff for the D.A.," Neville replies.

I wait a moment then say, "I need more to tell the Carrows. They're even more restless, considering my information before was pretty pointless. They already knew the three of you were in the D.A."

"I guess they weren't very happy with you, were they?" Luna says.

"Not really," I reply. "What will the three of you allow me to tell them? What are you planning to do tonight?"

"You can't tell them it was us, Charlotte," Ginny states. "We could seriously be punished for this." Her statement bothers me a bit. I was "seriously punished" for what I did when I released the students from detention. Ginny seems to realize how upset I am, for she quickly adds, "Merlin, Charlotte, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. It's just that there are others involved. We don't want to risk them."

"I need you to trust me," I say quietly.

"We do, Charlotte," Neville replies.

"Then I need you to tell me what you are planning," I say.

"It's a harmless-type prank," Neville answers. "We're going to lock the Carrows in their offices."

"Isn't…isn't that…just a bit juvenile?" I tread carefully.

"That's the point," Luna says. "The Carrows won't suspect anyone older to be the culprit. But it gives us a few hours without them. It'll give some of the students a class without them, so it's worth it."

"How are you planning on doing it?" I ask.

Neville smiles. "A chain and a Permanent Sticking Charm – they're going to be livid."

"They're going to come to me about this," I say. "I need to know what to tell them."

"Tell them it was me," the boy says.

I shake my head. "They're going to assume you're the leader if I turn you in twice, Neville."

"You think they'll automatically assume that?" Ginny replies. "Are they that smart?"

I smirk. "They're not smart per se, but they're not idiots."

"Blame it on me," Ginny commands. "I'll take the punishment."

"You won't be punished," I say confidently. "I want you know that I'll get you out. You won't be punished."

"Haven't we learned the problems with breaking kids out of detention?" Luna asks.

"I've wizened up. I have an idea of what to do."

"I trust you, Charlotte," Ginny says.

I smile and nod, then leave to go back to the Slytherin Dungeon.

* * *

The next day, I meet up with Ginny before breakfast. "Did it work?" I ask quietly as we make our way to the Great Hall.

"Yeah. Yeah, it did. They're stuck in their separate offices right now," she answers proudly. "It was ingenious."

"Who else was involved?" I reply.

"You can't narc on anyone but me, you know that, right?"

"Of course."

She nods. "Okay. It was Luna, Neville, Seamus, Hannah Abbot the Hufflepuff, Michael Corner the Ravenclaw, and me."

"It took that many?"

"Well, we separated into groups of three. Two of each group set up the chain, making sure it was against the wall and their door. But it had to be tight, no slack. The third person used the charm," she replies.

"And you think they'll believe only one person did that?" I ask.

"Yeah, it could have been done by one person, but it made it quicker and easier to have more involved."

We've reached the entrance to the Great Hall. "How do you think they'll get out?"

"I have no idea."

We separate, each going to our House tables. I sit down with the Greengrass sisters and the second-years. "Did you hear about what happened?" Christopher asks quietly.

"No, what?" I reply.

"It's all very hush-hush. We're trying to keep it quiet," Emma replies. "It'll spread soon enough, but everyone is trying to keep it out of the rumor mill."

"What's happened?"

Daphne smiles. "Someone in the D.A. has locked the Carrows in their offices!"

I grin. "Seriously?"

They all nod.

"Any idea who?" I ask.

"We're not a part of the D.A., remember?" Christopher asks, a slight hint of bitterness in his voice.

I guess I should bring up how they can all secretly help the D.A. I've been trying to keep this to myself, because I don't want any of them getting hurt. But I suppose there is no other way. "I've spoken with some of the members," I begin, "and they think it would be a good idea to have a few Slytherins pulling strings in the background. You can't be open members, but you can be secret members, like me."

Daphne's face drops a bit. "What?" she asks. "I thought we decided against that."

I nod. "We did, but it's become a necessary evil. Now, if you do this, I need to trust that each of you will follow my lead and not do anything without first consulting me. Got it?"

They all smile widely and nod.

"Good, because I do nothing without first passing it through the other members, and no one other than the three I talk to can know that all of you are in it, which means you have to go through me. Then I will go through them. This is the only way."

They all agree on the terms, and the rest of breakfast is spent discussing how they intend on helping the resistance against the Carrows.

After breakfast is when things get more interesting. The Carrows have still not been rescued from their offices, which I assume is due to the fact that none of the students really like them and therefore do not want to help them. Hardly anyone shows up for Defense Against the Dark Arts. And some of those who do show up realize Amycus is not present and just leave the classroom.

Those of us who do stay talk about how upset the Carrows will be and how our only regret is that we will not be able to record their reactions.

When lunch rolls around, the excitement of no Carrows has relatively worn off. Now it is just a bit depressing because we all know that things will be back to normal pretty quickly. What excites me about all of this is that none of the professors have done anything to save the Carrows.

As I am leaving the Great Hall again, I am grabbed by the Death Eater siblings and dragged back to Alecto's office. I don't know who did it, but someone cut the chains. Each side is still stuck to either the door or the wall, but it is no longer keeping the door from being opened. I don't question how they managed their escape. I keep my mouth shut until Amycus throws me into the room and casts charms at the door.

"I don't need to even ask," Amycus growls. "Tell us."

"It was the D.A.," I say vaguely. The man raises his hand and slaps me across the face. I yelp and quickly grab my stinging cheek. "Excuse me, good sir, but I don't think the Dark Lord will be too pleased knowing that you are physically harming me."

"Enough of that threat!" he yells. "We all know you haven't the nerve to snitch!"

I smirk. "That's what you think."

Before he can hit me again, Alecto grabs his arm. "Don't push it." Then she proceeds to glare at me. "Who did it?"

"I overheard some people talking," I reply. "According to them, it was Ginny Weasley."

"Weasley?" Amycus repeats. He gives his sister a sinister look. He glances back at me. "Leave."

I don't waste a minute getting out of there.

I run toward the Gryffindor Tower. The only one I see in the corridor is Seamus, so I call out his name. He looks over at me. "What's going on?"

"Warn Ginny that the Carrows are coming for her," I say.

He nods and enters the tower. I quickly run back to the Slytherin Dungeon. I will need to save Ginny tonight. And I know just how I am going to do that.

* * *

***I am short on time. If you see any mistakes, let me know, and I will fix them later***

* * *

**How will Crabbe and Pansy get revenge?**

**Will Pansy happen to guess what's really going on?**

**How will Charlotte get Ginny out of this?**

**Review!**


	95. Chapter 95

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! (93) Don't worry about the lateness. I'm looking forward to the moment when everything about the Carrows' interrogations is revealed. There will be some happy moments for Charlotte, but I have some plans for the Christmas holidays. I'm excited about them lol. (94) I just like to make sure the chapter isn't littered with mistakes. Her plan is discussed in this chapter. I got the idea from you, so I'll put your shoutout at the bottom of the chapter. I'd do it at the beginning, but I'm afraid that would give spoilers lol. I'm tying in some of your ideas; it's just going to take some time to get it all in.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Their revenge comes in a few chapters. I can't say if the Carrows are being controlled by Rodolphus (or anyone for that matter). It's all answered :) I'm really looking forward to all of that being answered. There's so much I'm looking forward to now that I think about it lol.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I can't say if anything was exposed because of what Pansy said. Her payback will come up in a few chapters. She definitely can't call in favors with the Carrows anymore. I hope you enjoy your holiday!**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! Colossal plans lol. **

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! They haven't started using it yet, but they will**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I guess I should go ahead and forewarn you. I wrote the next two chapters before you asked to cut down the McGonagall talks, so McGonagall is a big part of the next two (for more than just a conversation though, like it's important stuff that goes on). Really sorry about that.**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I've never really fantasized about being Charlotte, considering she's been to hell and back. I've also never really pictured her as a Mary-Sue with her past and what she does. But I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I call people "pansy" all the time. I guess someone would if she were lashing out at someone else.**

** Danielle: Thanks for reviewing! All of what you said is kind of up for debate right now. Letting Severus and Fred live is one of the major things that I have to decide upon, actually. But I have decided already about her getting pregnant. I just can't tell you what I've decided lol. Thanks, it's good to hear that people like my writing:)**

**Shadow Mistress: Thanks for the favorites!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 95**

Covered with the Disillusionment Charm, I make my way to the dungeons. With any luck, both of the Carrows will be there and they will not have begun their torture yet. But that might be asking for a bit much.

Then again, what use is life if one cannot dream?

That in mind, I sneak up on the dungeons. "Who helped you?" I hear Amycus yell.

"No one, you stupid git!" Ginny replies. "I've already told you! I did it all myself!"

"You expect me to believe that you did this all by yourself?" he shouts. "How foolish do you think I am?"

"Just because you aren't smart enough to pull something like that off by yourself does not mean I am unable!" Ginny shouts. There is a distinct sound of someone being smacked, followed by mocking laughter. But the laughter does not come from Amycus. It comes from Ginny as she says, "You think hitting me will make me change my story? I grew up with seven brothers! I'm not afraid of a little bit of pain!"

"Perhaps we can change your mind," Amycus says. "_Crucio!" _

Ginny's screams give me the extra adrenaline that I need to put an end to this. I burst into the room and Stun the Death Eater. Without taking off the charm, I say to Ginny, "I am so sorry. I should have been here sooner!"

"It's all good," Ginny replies, "just put an end to this."

"I'll be right back!" I cast the Disillusionment Charm over Amycus, lift him into the air, and take him with me back to Alecto's office. As I had quietly hoped (upon seeing that she was not in the dungeons with Amycus), the sister is sitting at her desk. I drop Amycus onto the floor in front of the desk. She looks up, having heard the thump. I point my wand at her and use the skills that will one day make me a successful Obliviator to modify her memories. I do the same to Amycus.

Both of them will remember punishing Ginny to the fullest extent. I remove the Disillusionment Charm from Amycus and quickly leave.

Then I go to liberate Ginny. When I get there, I take the charm off myself and apologize again. "I should have been here sooner! This is all my fault."

"I'm okay, Charlotte," she assures me as I remove her chains. "But will they come back for me?"

I smile. "Not at all, they believe they tortured until you pleaded for mercy. You're in the clear."

She grins at me. "Fred was lucky to have you, and I'll make sure he knows that."

Heat rushes to my face, but I do my best to ignore it. "You don't have to…" I say quietly. I dodge away and go back to the Slytherin Dungeon before I have to hear anymore about Fred. Just hearing his name makes my heart pour fresh blood all over again.

* * *

My heart racing and my breathing jagged, I rush up the staircase to Severus's office. We're a little over halfway through the month, and I am horrified by absolutely everything. The only thing going through my mind is panic, pure panic. It's times like these when I realize why the Sorting Hat chose not to put me in Gryffindor. About things concerning me directly, I tend to fear more than I should. Sure, I can fight off Voldemort's spells, but if I am being honest with myself, I do that out of fear as well, not bravery. I do it out of fear of what I know will happen to me.

I violently throw the headmaster's door open and rush inside, not caring that it is almost midnight and that he will probably not take too kindly to my intrusion. I don't speak. I go straight for Severus, wrap my hands around his throat and try to gain my voice.

"Charlotte?" he asks.

I shake him viciously. "Two days, professor!" I whisper frantically, still unable to find my voice. "Two days!"

"Charlotte, calm down," he says softly, trying to gently remove my hands from around his neck.

"I can't 'calm down'!" I shout. My voice breaks free and echoes around the room. "Two days!"

"Charlotte," he says. His hands clasp around mine and pry them away from his neck.

I grab the front of his robes. "Two days!" is all I can say. Severus walks me over to a chair and tries to make me sit down. But I refuse. I can't sit down at a time like this. No, it won't work. "Two days!" I shout again. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath, but it seems that everything is working against me. The universe has reverted back to mocking me.

Severus grabs my upper arms and says calmly, "Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths." He demonstrates how to take deep breaths, and I find myself following his lead. "Good. Now, calm down and tell me what has happened."

"Severus," my voice is airy. "I'm late. I'm two days late." I can tell by his face that he is obviously uncomfortable with this topic, but it is a necessary evil. "What am I going to do?"

"First, you need to calm –"

I hit his chest and shout, "Don't you _bloody dare_ tell me to calm down! You don't know what it's like!"

"Charlotte –"

"NO!" I roar. "The Dark Lord's child could be –" I close my eyes and fall into the chair. "I think I'm going to be sick." Severus waves his wand and hands me a basin.

"If you must, use that," he says. Sure enough, I vomit into the basin. I glare at him the best I can. "Charlotte," his voice is soothing, "Would you like my advice?"

"Please," I whisper.

Severus lowers himself onto the floor in front of me. "Go to Professor McGonagall –"

"But –"

"Shhh," he cuts me off. "Go to Professor McGonagall. Have her take you to Madam Pomfrey –"

"But –"

"Hush," he continues. "Listen, I never studied…I can't tell you if you are pregnant or not. Madam Pomfrey can. You must go to Professor McGonagall."

"Madam Pomfrey can't know what I have to do!" I argue. "No one else can know!"

"She doesn't have to. She –"

"– will simply not care if a professor takes a student to her to see if that student is pregnant, Severus? Come on, you know it won't work out that easily!" I say.

"There is no other option," he replies. "You must go to Professor McGonagall." I nod slowly. The headmaster pulls me to my feet. "You'll let me know what happens?"

I nod again before leaving his office to go speak with McGonagall.

When I reach her office, I crack the door and peek in. I don't want there to be anyone in here at a time like this. She's alone, and I enter. "Professor," I whisper.

"Charlotte," she obviously knows something is wrong. "Charlotte, what has happened?" She stands and makes her way to me.

I begin trembling, and the tears are already falling down my cheeks. My mouth opens a few times, but no sound comes out.

"You're all right, Charlotte," she says. "Tell me what has happened."

"I…I'm late, Professor, two days late," I force out.

McGonagall pauses for a second, panic on her face for a split second before she can hide it. "Come with me." She takes my arm and guides me out of her office.

"Where are we going?" I ask quietly.

"Madam Pomfrey," the professor answers, "she'll know how to check your condition. I would, but while I might be able to heal physical injuries, I am not a Healer. I never studied that."

"She can't know, professor," I say frantically. "She can't know!"

"I never intended for her to know unless you allowed it," McGonagall assures me.

The professor and I travel through the castle. Madam Pomfrey's private chamber is close to the hospital wing, but I doubt I would ever have the courage to go in there if McGonagall was not with me. She knocks only once, and the matron nurse opens the door. "Oh, Minerva," she greets McGonagall. "I was worried there was an injured student. Come in, come in."

"Poppy," she replies, pulling me into view.

Madam Pomfrey nods, and the two witches lead me to the hospital wing. McGonagall forces me to sit down on the bed while she pulls the nurse to the side and talks to her in a hushed voice. McGonagall comes back over to me, and Madam Pomfrey goes into the storage closet. "Professor," I say quietly, "there is something you need to know."

She sits in a chair next to the bed. "What is it?"

"I…I know…if I am pregnant…he…he told me…what he plans to do…" I whisper.

"What did he say?"

Before I can answer, the nurse returns with a potion. "Miss Rodgers, I need you to drink this."

I take the vial and empty it in my mouth. It's hard for me not to choke it back up. The sour taste forces me to inadvertently suck in my cheeks. I force myself to swallow. "That was awful," I say as a rotten aftertaste fills my mouth.

"What did you expect? Pumpkin juice?" she replies.

"I'm not really sure, to be honest," I answer.

The nurse lifts up my shirt to see my bare stomach. "You're going to feel something warm," she says to me. She allows a few drops of potion to trickle onto my skin. Then she points her wand at me and begins saying something very quietly.

I look over at McGonagall and force myself to breathe normally. Her eyes alone give me assurance.

"Madam Pomfrey," I say quietly.

She doesn't look up when she says, "Yes?"

"I don't…I don't know you that well, but…I certainly don't want you thinking that I'm some sort of…some sort of whore…"

The woman pauses. "I don't ask questions when students come to me for help."

"But you must think things, right?" I reply. "I need you to know that I'm not…I'm not like that."

"I don't need to know, Miss Rodgers," she says.

"But you do," I argue.

She glances at McGonagall, who nods back at her. Then the nurse says, "If you feel the need to tell me, you may."

I lock eyes with the professor. "Could…could you…?" I ask her.

She nods and looks to her friend. "Poppy, Charlotte is not who everyone believes her to be…"

I watch the nurse as McGonagall tells her about my true family. The woman loses her neutral demeanor a few times but does not say anything. But when the professor begins to tell her of my duty to Voldemort, I have to close my eyes. I can't look at her. Embarrassed, I can feel my face turn red, and I cover it with my hands to hide my red cheeks. It's worse hearing people speak of it. I should have asked her to tell Madam Pomfrey after I had left.

At the end of McGonagall's long speech about what I must do and how it is not my choice, Madam Pomfrey whispers, "Oh, Merlin." She stops moving her wand. "Miss Rodgers…"

"I don't like to think about it," I say.

"That makes sense," she answers. Then she takes a warm rag and wipes the potion off of my stomach.

I sit up on the bed and throw my legs off the side. I clear my throat. "So…um…is…am I…?"

Madam Pomfrey shakes her head. "No."

Relief, that is all I feel. I quickly stand and throw my arms around McGonagall.

We thank the nurse matron then leave to go back to McGonagall's office. On our way there, the professor says, "What were you trying to tell me earlier? What does You-Know-Who plan on doing?"

Now that I know I am not pregnant, I can't tell McGonagall that I am going to die after I have the child. "He…he plans on using the child…to come back to life," I say. "If his current body is destroyed, he wants to use my son to have a readymade body."

"And if it is a girl?"

"He'll kill her," I whisper. Silence falls over the two of us. When we reach her office door, I say, "I think…I think I'm going to go lie down…go to sleep. I'm…sort of…emotionally drained right now." She wraps me in a tight hug before I go to tell Severus the news.

I barge into his office as I had done earlier, a broad smile on my face that I cannot erase. He stands to his feet. I just shake my head. "I'm not."

He smiles at me and comes around his desk to bring me into his embrace. "That's great," he says to me.

We stand like that for a few minutes before I whisper, "I really need to go. I…need some sleep. This whole scare has…drained me." But I really just want time to myself. I need time to think things through. Severus does not object to me leaving.

* * *

"What do you know about your father?" Alecto asks me. It is the day before my birthday, the day before I leave for a weekend, and the Carrows have taken it upon themselves to grill me for answers more than before. I have been in their office for over two hours. I'm tired, I'm just now getting over the pregnancy scare, I want to go speak with Severus about these interrogations, and I just want to crawl in a corner somewhere and pretend that none of this is real.

"Only that he was a pureblooded wizard and that he and my mother had me out of wedlock," I lie. They still believe the Veritaserum works against me. These fools…

"And your mother," Amycus replies, "what can you tell us about her?"

"Well," I answer, "I know that I have her eyes," which is a complete and utter lie, but I don't care, "and I know that she went crazy shortly after my birth. From that moment, I was taken and placed in an orphanage under the alias of Charlotte Rodgers."

"Tell us about the orphanage," Alecto commands. "That is where you met Abigail Avery, who at that time was known as 'Mrs. Stoico,' yes?"

"Yes, she was the first person to show me kindness."

"And you caused her death?" Amycus continues.

"In a way, I did," I confess. "Her father followed me to the orphanage after I ran away. He killed her."

"And what did you do?" Alecto responds.

"I stabbed him to death."

"Do you know your mother's real name?"

"No."

"Do you know your father's real name?"

"No." They're really beginning to annoy me. They repeat the same questions over and over and over. It's like they expect me to learn something new in a few days. This is ridiculous.

"Do you know what either of them might have looked like?" Amycus asks.

"NO!" I shout.

"Do you have a problem with our questions?" Alecto replies.

"Yes!" I say. "Why are you asking all of this? Why does it matter?"

"The Dark Lord –"

"NO!" I interrupt the man. "The Dark Lord knows all of this already! He would have no reason to ask me these things! Who are you working for?"

"You are free to leave now," Alecto states. "Close the door on your way out."

"Who is forcing you to ask me all of this?" I shout.

Amycus whips out his wand. "Leave now."

"So there is someone in charge of you?" I ask. The Death Eaters stand to their feet, both now pointing their wands at me. "I can take a hint… I'm leaving now." I slowly stand and leave the room. At least now I can tell Severus that the Carrows are indeed working for someone else. They are not acting of their own accord.

But now is not the time for declaring my victory to Severus. This is the time when I must go to lie down for a while. I need some time to myself. It seems that, after my near-life-altering moment, time alone is the most valuable thing in the world to me.

I smile at Ginny as I pass her in the corridor. She stops writing the typical calling of Dumbledore's Army and says, rather quickly and quietly, "I know what you're going through must be difficult, Charlotte. I want you to know that I believe in you. I know you'll make it through this. And, as much as you probably do not want to hear this, Fred will come around."

"Thanks," I whisper. Pointing at the wall, I say, "Don't get caught." She smiles, and I continue on my way, not knowing if I should or shouldn't take to heart what she has just said about Fred. I mean, it's been a year, over a year actually. Is it healthy for me to continue holding on after all of this time? I can't ask Severus. He's loved Lily for over twenty years. I have no right to complain to him.

But I want to keep the hope of Fred and me alive. This is something I need to mull over in my alone time, where I am headed right now.

* * *

**Special thanks to _Dolceconbrio_ who gave me the idea of having Charlotte alter the Carrows' memories!**

* * *

**Should she give up on Fred?**

**Did you believe for a second that she might be pregnant?**

**Will she ever tell McGonagall that she will**** die?**

**Review!**


	96. Chapter 96

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it seemed right for her to go to him first. I don't know why though, it just felt that way lol. I hope Fred comes back, but I don't think it's good for her to hold onto that with everything that's going on. I wanted to throw in a scare for everyone :) Voldemort will want her close during the first stages, unless she can keep from him the fact that she is pregnant.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! It's not Snape, because he could just ask Charlotte himself and know he would be getting truthful answers rather than lies.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to freak some people out, which is why I did that lol. I hope she doesn't give up on him, but it's not good for her to have that stress on top of everything else.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Time is definitely a commodity that she doesn't have at the moment. I read stuff like that as fast as possible when I'm panicking about it lol. She'll have to tell McGonagall eventually, but she has to find the right way.**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! I think she holds on because she was happy with him; it was the time in her life where things were a bit easier. She'll tell McGonagall eventually. It's okay! I'm just glad you reviewed this time!**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay, don't worry about it. I understand how difficult AP class can be.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Her being pregnant this soon would change the story a lot. I don't want her to give up on him, but he adds so much heartbreak and stress into her life lol. **

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for the follow and the favorite and the review! Well, I'm certainly glad that you are enjoying it. It'll probably be the end of me too! Lol, sorry your heart stopped. At least you know I update every day, so it's not like a week-long wait for the next chapter:) Thanks, I spent a lot of time bringing the ideas together before I began writing it. I wanted to freak some people out with a pregnancy scare hahaha. I try really hard to throw curves at people so they don't get bored with the story. **

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I hope she doesn't give up on Fred. I wanted people to think she might be pregnant, especially after her conversation with Pansy. Eventually, she'll tell McGonagall.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 96**

It is the day I have been dreading since last month. It's my birthday, the day I will be leaving Hogwarts to go spend the weekend with my mother. But until then, I am visiting my mum. I slowly open her office door and poke my head in. "Professor," I say.

McGonagall looks up and smiles at me. "Come in, Charlotte. Come in."

I enter the office. "If you wouldn't mind," I begin, "I would like to stay away from the topic of babies and You-Know-Who." I smile at her.

"Whatever you like," she answers. "I don't blame you for not wanting to speak of it."

I take a seat in front of her.

"You're leaving tonight for a weekend with Bellatrix, I believe," she says.

I sigh. "Yes, professor, I am."

"You do not sound enthusiastic," she comments dryly.

I chuckle. "Do I not? I should really change that before anyone else hears me." I glace around the room. "I'm spending a weekend with my mother!" I announce excitedly.

"But you don't want to sound overly excited," she says with false seriousness. "That could be perceived very wrongly."

After just a moment of thinking, I say, "So, professor, I am going to spend a weekend with my mother – a Death Eater – but am unsure if I should be excited or not. I guess I'm mildly excited. I can get away from the Carrows, but then again, she _is_ a Death Eater. So…there's that."

"I have something for you." She reaches under her desk and pulls out a box in brown wrapping.

"No, professor," I quickly say.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" she exclaims.

"Sure I do," I reply. "You wanted to give me something. But I cannot accept anything from you. And no, this isn't because I want to be modest or anything. I legitimately cannot accept anything from you. You have done far too much for me to even consider accepting a gift."

She seems unfazed by my statement. "Charlotte," she says, "we have already established that you are the daughter I never had, yes?" I don't get a chance to say anything before she continues, "And as such, I am entitled to give you something for your birthday." Then she grabs something off her desk, furthering her point by showing me the amulet that I gave to her after Dumbledore gave it to me. "If you are allowed to give me something, I believe I am allowed to give you something."

I sigh. "But, professor –"

"Don't argue with me, Charlotte," McGonagall demands.

Reluctantly, I pick up the wrapped box and set it in my lap. "I don't know, professor," I say.

"Just open it. Don't think about it."

I smile, and begin tearing open the package ecstatically. The gleam of silver is the first thing I see, and I have to stop. "Professor –"

"What did I just say, Charlotte? Just open it."

Sighing, I continue removing the paper. Under the paper is a silver box, quite like the wooden one in which I keep everything I truly care about, except it is inlayed with Gryffindor-style rubies in decorative swirls on the sides. On the face of the box, in some sort of black gemstone, is the Hogwarts symbol. "Professor," I whisper. "I can't…I-I can't…"

"Charlotte," McGonagall says quietly, "when I first came to Hogwarts, my mother gave this to me, as her mother had done for her. During my school years, I kept in that box the things that meant the most to me. I kept this with me when I got a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement of the Ministry of Magic. I went back to my family's manse for one last summer with them before I moved to London.

"While I was there, I met a Muggle man named Dougal McGregor. We fell in love. He proposed to me, which I accepted. But I could not marry him. I couldn't. For years, I watched my mother live a miserable life with her wand constantly locked in a box under her bed. I couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't follow her footsteps. I would lose my job at the Ministry, something I had worked my whole life for. So I broke off the engagement and moved to London. I kept the letters from Dougal in that box along with the few things that I had of value, anything that was valuable to me.

"Two years after I moved to London, I grew dissatisfied with my job in the Ministry. I came back to Hogwarts and was given the Transfiguration post, at which point I had the Hogwarts symbol designed on the top of that box. Then I ascended to Head of Gryffindor House.

"I kept those letters until Dougal married another. I had remained friends with my former employer – Elphinstone Urquart. On many occasions, he had proposed to me, despite that I rejected his offer each time. Only after Dougal's death did I feel I had the right to say yes to Elphinstone's proposal. We moved into a cottage in Hogsmeade, where we had three wonderful years together. I could easily travel from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. It was the ideal situation.

"We would often host my nieces and nephews in our home in Hogsmeade." She clears her throat. "Three years into our marriage, Elphinstone was bitten by a Venomous Tentacula. I could no longer live in Hogsmeade, not without him there with me. I moved back here, to Hogwarts.

"Until recently, I kept memories in that silver box. But, as my mother had emptied it to give it to me, I have emptied it to give it to you. Never once did I think I would have someone to whom I could give it. Then you came along, Charlotte, and I finally got the daughter for which I so desperately longed but never had the chance to have.

"Now, I know you're not a Gryffindor, and those rubies are the Gryffindor gemstone, but I want you to have it, because you are my daughter, even though Bellatrix might have claim over you," she finishes.

I place the box on the desk, stand, and go around to the professor. McGonagall stands as well, and I quickly wrap my arms around her. "Professor," I whisper, "this is too much."

"It's not," she argues. "My mother gave it to me, and it is time I give it to my daughter."

I cling tighter to her.

"Happy birthday, Charlotte," she says.

"Thank you, professor," I reply.

"I love you," my mum says.

I smile, even though she cannot see it. "I love you too."

I spend the next hour with McGonagall in her office drinking tea and eating Chocolate Cauldrons from Honeydukes in Hogsmeade.

And as I leave her office to go to breakfast in the Great Hall, I know that I can survive this weekend. It does not matter how everything goes with Bellatrix because McGonagall is waiting at Hogwarts. I know that, even if Bellatrix and I do not get along, my real mum will never turn her back on me.

* * *

"I really don't want to do this, Severus," I say quietly.

He looks across his desk at me. "I realize that, and I am sorry," he replies. "Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to stop this. If the Dark Lord believes Bellatrix can change your mind about your duty, he will allow her to have free reign in attempting to do just that."

I huff. "I…I just don't like being forced to do things," I say.

"Perhaps if you play nice, he won't attempt to kill you when you have the baby. If you can act like Bellatrix when it comes to your duty, the Dark Lord might opt to make you a Death Eater rather than end your life," he responds.

"You know I'll never do that," I state.

"And for that, I am proud," he says.

"Besides," I continue, "he said that he had to kill me in order to put a piece of his soul in the child."

"If you can convince Bellatrix that you are coming around, the Dark Lord might not be so abusive."

I pause for a moment. "I'll…I'll try to convince her…"

Severus comes around the desk and pulls me to my feet. "You have to leave now," he says, looking at his clock. "Be careful."

I give him a quick hug before I Disapparate to Malfoy Manor.

Draco is waiting in the drawing room. "Happy Birthday!" is the first thing he says to me. He comes toward me, gives me a hug, then hands me a small package. "Hide that in your bag and open it later." I open my mouth to argue that he should not have given me anything, but he quickly silences me with, "Shut up and take the gift." He shoves it in my rucksack as Bellatrix enters the room.

"Aurelia," she greets me, taking me into her arms. "Are you ready to go?"

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"I'll take that as a yes," she replies. We say goodbye to Draco, and my mother takes my hand and Disapparates with me.

When Bellatrix and I stop moving, I immediately know where we are. We are back at Lestrange Cottage. This overwhelming feeling of sorrow and happiness takes over me, and I don't know what I think about it. Here, in this cottage, I spent six months with my mother and father. Here, I began a relatively civil relationship with my mother last Christmas. But everything seems different.

That's because everything _is_ different.

My heart clenches. I so desperately want Rodolphus to know who I am. I can just imagine what it would be like if the three of us were together at the cottage celebrating my eighteenth birthday. Rodolphus would be overjoyed. I wish he was here.

"Come on," Bellatrix says to me, taking me by the hand and leading me into the cottage.

The first thing I do when I enter the house is go to the back room (yes, the one with the larger bed) and place my rucksack down. My mother is not with me, and I venture to the smaller room. I stand in the doorway, looking over the room with newfound appreciation. I once lived in this room. Sure, I had been only a small baby, but this had been my room. Or this is where I assume I stayed, considering my parents would have taken the larger room. I want to know what it was like with the three of us living here.

"I thought you would have claimed the other room," I hear Bellatrix say. She walks up behind me and puts her hand on my shoulder. "That's what you did last time."

"I already claimed the other room," I say with a slight laugh. "I just wanted…to, you know, _see_ the room for what it actually is. This was mine, wasn't it? Back when I lived here with you and Rodolphus?"

"Yes," she answers. "It was the same colors, but rather than the bed it was a crib. After we sent you to Alphard, we changed it to a bed in a way to get you off our minds. It didn't quite work that well, as we were always fighting about you. After your death, I eventually left to live in Malfoy Manor with Cissy. It was a good distraction for a while. I was able to help her – she having just had Draco. It made things a slight bit easier."

"How old was Draco when I was presumed to be killed?"

"He was five months old," she says. "Cissy and I spent those months planning what life would be like for the two of you – you and Draco. We thought I would get you back. The Dark Lord had consented with us sending you away. There were some doubts about certain followers. When we knew you would be safe, Rodolphus and I planned on taking you back."

"But everyone thought I died," I whisper.

She nods. "And our plans for you and Draco disappeared with your death."

"What kind of plans?"

"Plans to have the two of you grow up together" she says. "We wanted the two of you to grow up together, learn magic together, be the siblings that Cissy and I are."

I clear my throat. Draco and I have spoken about some of the same things. It hurts more to know that it actually could have happened. "Where does Rodolphus stay now?" I ask, not caring how random it might seem.

"With Rabastan in their father's place," she replies. My mother leads me away from my old room and takes me into the small living room. The fireplace has already started burning. "I want to give you this now. I thought about waiting, but I can't make myself do it." We sit down on the sofa. "It's not of much value compared to the ring I gave you for Christmas, but I think you might like it." Bellatrix gives me a gift bag much smaller than my rucksack. "I just recently found it. I hid some things when I knew I would be going to Azkaban. I didn't want to risk losing it."

I carefully remove the tissue paper from the bag. When all of it is gone, I reach inside and feel something made of silk. I pull it out.

It is a tiny black blanket, almost the size of a pillow. I run my hand along the silk fabric until I reach the plush Slytherin symbol. Something about it seems oddly familiar. It's comforting.

"When you were a baby," Bellatrix says, gingerly taking the blanket from my hands, "you would not sleep unless you had this with you. You would take it in your hand like this," she grabs a corner and demonstrates how I would wrap it around my hand until it was hidden in the fabric. "Then you rest your head on the covered hand and would somehow cover your legs with the bottom of the blanket." She smiles. "It was almost like a subconscious thing. It was the only way you would allow yourself to fall asleep."

She gives the blanket back to me. "Then, in your other hand, you would clutch onto the paw of your teddy bear. When we sent you to Alphard, we made sure you had your blanket and your bear. I was so worried you wouldn't get any sleep. But when we thought you died, Rodolphus and I went back to get what was yours. I searched for the bear when I found this, but I don't know where it is."

Her hand finds mine and holds tightly to it. "I know you can't very well use this blanket at Hogwarts, but it's a piece of your past. I wanted you to have it, to remind you that your parents loved you more than anything in the world, that we still love you." She meets my eyes. "I love you, Aurelia."

I quickly wrap my arms around her neck. I don't know where it comes from, but I say, "I love you too, Mum." And though I want to deny it, part of me knows that it is the truth. Deep inside, I know that she is my mother. She is different from McGonagall, but I know that for some unexplainable reason, I love her. She is my mother.

After a few moments, we break apart. "I had something like this when I was in the orphanage," I say, "a silk blanket, I mean. Mrs. Stoico gave one to me. I had it until I was seven. I think one of the others stole it…but it could not be proven."

"If she were here, I believe I would thank her for taking such good care of you," Bellatrix says quietly.

I smile. "I really don't think I would be here right now if not for her."

"What do you mean?"

"She protected me on many occasions. I have no doubt that one of the older orphans would have killed me. There was one boy who tried beating me with a bat. Despite her turning against the Dark Lord, she is the reason I am alive. Without her, I don't think I would have lived to be eight."

"She never turned against the Dark Lord," my mother states.

I freeze. "What?"

"She was under orders of the Dark Lord," Bellatrix replies. "Her mother was not. Her mother actually did turn away from him, but Abigail – I have spoken with the Dark Lord on this subject – she was under orders to watch after you. Of course, none of us even knew you survived. I don't think she knew who you truly were. She just knew that she had to protect the baby. And she did. The only Death Eaters who were allowed to collect you from the orphanage were Lucius or Narcissa. She was to stop all others or die trying. From what I've learned, she grew an attachment to you – something that is hard not to do. She didn't want you to go through your duty. So, in a way, she did turn against the Dark Lord, but she was still serving him.

"She died following the Dark Lord's orders to stop anyone from taking you. He did not trust some of us in the Inner Circle. Abigail did not want you to fulfill your duty, but she died to fulfill her duty of keeping you safe. I am the only one whom the Dark Lord has entrusted this information."

"No one else knows?" I whisper.

"No."

I let this sink in. I had been accurate those many months ago when I had gotten upset with Mrs. Stoico for being a Death Eater. I had every right to be upset. She was truly working for Voldemort. Sure, she had been a mother to me, but she betrayed me. She was _his_ the entire time. Before I can say anything, there is a _pop!_

Rabastan is now standing in the living room of Lestrange Cottage. I don't have a chance to react, or do anything, really. The bag that had held my blanket, as well as the blanket itself, disappears, gone to some hidden place. A moment passes, and there is another _pop!_

Rodolphus is now in the cottage as well.

* * *

**What'd you think about McGonagall's gift?**

**So...Mrs. Stoico was truly serving the Dark Lord the entire time...your thoughts?**

**What will happen now that Rodolphus is here?**

**Review!**


	97. Chapter 97

**I've passed 700 reviews! Thanks so much for all of you who have contributed:)**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to show that McGonagall cares just as much as Charlotte does. I would have gotten around to explaining that, but Rodolphus and Rabastan appeared, and Charlotte didn't have a chance to ask about it. I won't say anything lol. It all goes down in this chapter.**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! I was trying to foreshadow it a bit. Lol, I wish she could tell. I'm not gonna say anything farther though :) You'll just have to read to find out**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! McGonagall is one of my favorites too, besides Snape of course. I'm not a huge fan of Mrs. Stoico either. Almost everything about her was a lie. You won't find out who is directing the Carrows until later. He may or may not find out about Charlotte in this chapter ;)**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! Someone is definitely in trouble. I can't say who though. I got McGonagall's past from Pottermore. **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! It's about to get real indeed! Haha:)**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I got her past from Pottermore. I wanted McGonagall to give a gift to Charlotte that shows she cares just as much as Charlotte does. I love writing twists. It's what makes it more interesting :)**

**cheyennesmiles2: Thanks for the follows and the favorites and the reviews! Thanks, I tried really hard to come up with something that is not often seen on fanfiction. I can't say if Severus and Charlotte are falling in love. I don't really want them "in love" but they are certainly growing to care more for each other. I wanted Charlotte to have a mother figure, and McGonagall fit the part:) Thanks, it's great to hear that people are enjoying my story and that they think I'm a decent writer. I spent a lot of time working on the relationships, so I'm glad they feel genuine to you.**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I got her back-story from Pottermore! It really sorta bums me out when I think about what happened to her :(**

* * *

**CHAPTER 97**

Bellatrix stands, pulling me to my feet as well. She shifts in such a way that it looks as if she is shielding me from my father and my uncle with her own body. "Rodolphus, Rabastan," she says, "what are the two of you doing here?"

My father watches her for a second. "Bella – Bellatrix," he replies quietly. "How…how could you?" She doesn't have a chance to say anything before he shouts, "HOW COULD YOU?"

"Rodolphus –"

"No, Bellatrix!" he roars. "This is _our_ house! It is _her_ birthday! And you –" he seems to be unable to fully put sentences together he is so angry. "And you bring someone else –"

"Rodolphus –"

"SILENCE!" he bellows. "How dare you disrespect her memory! How dare you bring another here on _our daughter's_ birthday!" He glares at me. "Leave. Leave now, Charlotte. GO!"

"What are you doing here?" Bellatrix repeats.

His eyes twitch over to her. "I came here to honor my daughter on her birthday!" he says. "I came here to pay my respects, as I have done every year since our escape from Azkaban!"

"And you bring your brother?" she asks. "Is that so different from me bringing Charlotte?"

"It is far different!" he screams. "Rabastan helped me through the death of my baby –"

"_Our_ baby!" Bellatrix shrieks.

"When we lost Aurelia, I needed someone to mourn with, because you certainly weren't going to be there!" he says.

"If you didn't notice, Rodolphus," she yells, "I was grieving just as badly as you were! The child I gave birth to, the child I loved from the moment I learned I was pregnant, the child I adored more than life itself, was dead! Don't you _dare_ act as if you were the only one who lost something that day!"

"No, you're right," he says. "We both lost something that day. You lost your baby. I lost my family." She opens her mouth to say something, but he continues, "I always had this feeling that something dreadful was going to happen to our daughter. I had this feeling that someone was going to come after her. Then she got killed. But I was prepared for that. I was prepared for the loss of my baby girl –"

"Then how can you compare our grief?" Bellatrix asks shrilly. "Not once did I think something was going to happen to my daughter! I was not ready for it by any means!"

"How can I compare our grief?" he laughs sarcastically. "Like I already said, you lost your daughter, but I lost my family! We could have been a family – you and me and Aurelia! But I lost that chance with her death!"

"But you were 'prepared' for it!" she shouts back.

"You're right!" he screams. "I was prepared to lose my daughter! But I was _not_ – I WAS _NOT_ – prepared for my wife to take a face dive off a cliff into the Sea of Insanity!"

"'Sea of Insanity'?" she shrieks.

"Yes, Bella! You went insane! I had no one to turn to but my brother! He is here with me now, as he was then!"

"Insane?" she repeats.

"Yes!" he screams. "You went insane – you _are_ insane! You bloody Cruciated that man and his wife until they lost their minds!"

"How –"

"And now look at yourself!" he continues. "You find some girl who would be the same age as our daughter and begin treating her as if she is Aurelia!" My father points an accusing finger at me. "Wake up, Bella! She will _never_ be Aurelia! She will _never_ be our little girl!" His hand begins trembling, and he wipes his face. His voice is thick when he adds, "If you want to see our baby, you have to go to the cemetery, where her bones have no doubt turned to dust by now."

"Rodolphus," she says.

He doesn't let her finish. "How can you think about replacing her, Bella?" He grabs his bag, and pulls out a teddy bear. "Do you remember this?" he asks. Her eyes light up with realization. "Our baby used to hold her hand while she slept. She would wrap herself around that silk blanket of hers and hold onto her bear." He tosses the bear onto the sofa. "Bella, how can you dream of replacing her? Our daughter was perfect. No one can ever measure up to her." Tears spring up in my eyes.

"I know that," my mother says.

Rodolphus runs his hand through his short hair. "What happened to us?" he whispers.

"Life," she answers.

"To hell with 'life,' Bella," he states. "To hell with it all." He takes a step toward her. "I still love you." Without another word, he closes the small gap between them, cups her face in his hands, and places his lips against hers. I sidestep away from them, moving closer to Rabastan. Bellatrix's hands find his chest, and for a moment I partly believe that she is kissing his as well, but she shoves him back, not violently but firmly.

"Don't," she commands.

"We used to sit in here, on that sofa, and watch our daughter sleep in her crib right there," he points over by the fire. By this point, his tears are flowing freely, as are mine. And before I realize what is happening, my father collapses to his knees in front of my mother. "We were a family, Bella." His chest heaves as he attempts to compress his sobs. He grabs her by the waist and buries his face into her stomach. "We can be a family again. We can be a family again."

I look into my mother's eyes. She is staring at the fire, but I can clearly see tears of her own. "We can't, Rodolphus," she whispers. "We can't."

Slowly, he struggles to his feet. "I'll always love you, Bella." He touches her face, and it seems as if she is forcing herself not to recoil. He tenderly bends and kisses her forehead. He looks at me. "Forgive me, Charlotte." He snatches up his bag, nods to his brother, and Disapparates. Rabastan quickly follows his lead, leaving me in the cottage alone with my mother.

"Mum –"

She throws up her hand in a silent command for me to stop talking. Then she spins on her heel and walks out of the room. A door closes. Unsure if I should follow her or not, I stand there, replaying the entire scene over in my mind.

I walk over to the sofa and sit down, gingerly taking the teddy bear in my hands. My father needs to know who I am. Or would that make matter worse? If he learns that Bellatrix knew I was alive but did not tell him, would that make him resent her? I don't want that for some reason. I like the thought that he still loves her. It gives me hope that Fred might still love me, even though we have not spoken in a year. My mother and father did not speak for years when they were in Azkaban; they don't speak now, but he still loves her.

But, what if I am the Rodolphus in our relationship while Fred is the Bellatrix? What if he actually does not still love me but rather is finished with me, as Bellatrix is with Rodolphus? Even worse, what if I am the Severus Snape and Fred is the Lily Evans? The thought sends this cold wave of nausea through me.

I hold the teddy bear close to my chest and take a deep breath. I can't lose Fred like this. And I certainly cannot lose Fred the way Severus lost Lily. If Fred were to marry someone like Pansy…I don't even want to think about something that terrible.

Glass shatters from the back room, and I quickly put the bear aside and run to see what my mother has done.

I enter the large room, the one my mother and father had once shared. Bellatrix is in the process of smashing the windows with her bare hands. "Mum!" I shout, dashing over to her. "Mum, stop!" I grab her arms from behind and pin them to her side. "Stop!"

My mother and I fall to the floor. Her hands are sliced and bloody. "I don't hate him," she mutters. "I need you to know that I don't hate him. I don't hate your father."

"I never thought you did," I say. We lean against the wall together. "I've never thought that you hate him."

She pulls out her wand, repairs the windows, and heals her hands. "Sometimes I do think about our family, the family we could have been."

"Why can't we tell him?" I ask quietly.

"The Dark Lord forbids it."

"But why?" I reply.

"The more people that know the truth, the riskier it becomes," she answers.

"But he's not just anyone, Mum, he's my father," I say. "He deserves to know."

"While that might be true, he is not entitled to know." I try to argue some more, but she continues, effectively stopping me. "Aurelia, there is no other choice. He cannot know."

I huff. "Fine."

"You must not tell him," she demands.

"I won't."

My mother and I continue sitting there for almost an hour, completely silent. I don't know why she is no longer speaking, but I know why I am so quiet. There are so many things that I desperately want. I want Rodolphus to know who I am. I want my parents and me to be a family again. I want to talk more about Mrs. Stoico. I want to find out the truth.

I want my father to help me escape my fate. I need him to help me escape my fate. If he were to help, I think he and Severus could most certainly get me away from this nightmare.

"Would you like something to eat?" my mother's voice breaks through my reverie.

I clear my throat, suddenly embarrassed with the fear that she could read my thoughts. "Sure, what do you have in mind?"

She just smiles at me. Then she stands and leaves the room. Only after she is gone to I scramble over to my rucksack. Draco's gift is just waiting for me to open it. I try to open it as quietly as possible. When the paper is off the package, I see that it is from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I wonder if Draco actually went to the shop in Diagon Alley or if he ordered it or if he had a friend get it. The note attached reads, "It lasts thirty minutes. I thought you might get some use out of it. Enjoy."

Draco's gift to me is a Patented Daydream Charm. I slip it into my rucksack. I will definitely be using this.

I head to the kitchen, where I suspect Bellatrix will be. "I didn't think you knew how to cook, Mum," I comment.

She smirks. "Just because I've had house-elves all of my life does not mean I am incapable of caring for myself. My mother taught me when I was a child."

I walk over to the counter, boost myself up on it, and take a seat. "If I were to live on my own, I'm afraid I would die of starvation."

She smiles. "I heard that you were forced to cook for Snape when you were living with him over the holidays. You didn't learn anything after months of cooking?"

I laugh. "Are you serious? I wasn't going to cook for him! I stole the food from his neighbor, who, by the way, was a fantastic chef." My eyes dance over what she is preparing. "What are you making?"

"Strawberry tarts, my specialty."

"Oh good," I reply.

Bellatrix leans against the opposite counter while the food continues to prepare itself. "I used to make these almost every week for your father," she says.

"I feel so out of the loop," I comment. "Why have I never had these before?"

"But you have," she answers. "Rodolphus used to give you some, against what I would ask of him. He'd hold you in his lap and feed you tiny spoonfuls of the strawberries, only the smallest of pieces of course. He didn't want you to choke. Or at least, that was his excuse. I suspect he just wanted more of it to himself."

"I wish I could have grown up with the two of you," I say.

"I think we all do," she replies with a sad smile.

We both quiet down a little bit. I wait a few moments before asking, "What happened to the two of you – you and Rodolphus?"

She looks back at the tarts that are making themselves. "We were both grieving – quite horrifically if I might say so myself – over you. Neither of us had the strength to speak. And soon, silence was the only thing that filled the house. We didn't know what to talk about anymore, and neither of us wanted to express our sorrow.

"For the ninth months of my pregnancy, you were all we talked about. For the six months we had you, you can imagine that almost all of our conversations were about you. For the six months you were with Alphard, we focused on when we would get you back. It was too painful to talk about you when we believed you to be dead. And when we could no longer talk about you, we realized that there was not much more we could talk about.

"Our grief soon turned to anger, then bitterness. We blamed each other for your death. After one of our particularly dreadful screaming matches, I packed my things and moved in with Narcissa and Lucius and little Draco. It was ideal. I was able to help with the baby, which relieved some of my ache over you. Then the Longbottoms happened, and Azkaban became my new home…or rather, place of residency. I wouldn't consider that hellhole a home."

I don't want to imagine what Azkaban would be like. "So…why can't we be a family again?" I ask her.

"A few reasons," she says.

"I'd like to hear them all if you don't mind," I quickly say.

"Well, the first one I feel is pretty obvious," Bellatrix replies. "If we were to be a family again, he would have to know about you."

"But, Mum," I counter, "he never said anything about being a family with me – Aurelia – again. He wants to be a family again with you, just you."

She sighs, and the tarts stop making themselves. "I can't," she states, such finality in her voice that I know she is done speaking on the subject.

But I won't let it go that easily. "Mum!" I say. "He was on his knees! He was begging you for another chance! Why can't you give him that? All he wants is a chance!"

"I can't do that to him!" she replies.

"What do you mean by that?" I try to not to shout, but it comes out a bit harsher than I meant.

Her face clearly shows the anger that is bubbling inside her, but she keeps calm when she says, "I care for Rodolphus, Aurelia. I need you to know that. But I am not in love with him, nor have I ever been. I cannot live like that anymore. I do not love him."

"Because you're in love with Dark Lord, aren't you?" It slips out before I can stop it.

Surprisingly, she does not seem the least bit upset with me. Her only answer is, "I am no longer speaking about this." The tarts once again begin cooking.

I take a deep breath and whisper, "I…I'm sorry, Mum."

She looks over at me and smiles. "You were merely being curious." Though she says this calmly, it is easy to see in her eyes that she is livid.

With this, I drop the subject completely. I would prefer that this weekend go smoothly rather than terribly. I wave my wand, and a spoon comes out of one of the drawers. Bellatrix doesn't notice. She seems to be concentrating solely on cooking, probably to stop herself from shouting at me or harming me.

Once the spoon is in my hand, I reach around my mother and scoop up a bite of the strawberry cream and quickly eat it. I must admit that it is absolutely delicious. It tastes like everything that is good in the world. I smile widely at Bellatrix. "And I see why Rodolphus had you make this so often," I say.

"I told you it was my specialty," she replies. "Why don't we go into the living room and wait on these to finish?"

I feel as if there has been enough time passed for me to broach the subject of Mrs. Stoico. I've been fighting my desire to speak of it out of respect for my mother. I believe it was only the right thing to do because of the Rodolphus incident; then I brought up my mother's love for the Dark Lord. I should have skipped that altogether and gone straight to Mrs. Stoico. Now is my chance though. I cannot wait any longer.

* * *

**Does anyone else feel bad for Rodolphus? I do...**

**Will he ever learn the truth?**

**Review!**


	98. Chapter 98

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't always review. Don't worry about it:) I had a reviewer mention something about her not really panicking about possibly being pregnant. So I took their suggestion and added it.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss1: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, a lot of back-stories for different characters are on Pottermore.**

**zhalia4moon: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! Poor Rodolphus. Maybe one day things will look up for him. Then again, there is a Wizarding War going on… Charlotte just wants him to know. It'll be a benefit to Charlotte if he ever learns the truth. Snape's fate is up for debate at the moment, as is Fred's.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! He is a good man, but he's also a Death Eater. I haven't decided if he'll learn the truth. I have both paths mapped out though. So you won't miss out on anything either way:) He would want to do anything for his little girl.**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte is definitely in a tough position. I don't know if I could do it, especially knowing that all he wants is to be a family again :(**

**lee-lee94: Thanks for reviewing! There are a couple different things that could happen between Rodolphus and Charlotte, each depending on if he ever learns the truth. **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I hope he does too, but you never know… The world would most certainly be a better place if all men were like that lol**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't mean to attack your feels lol**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I'm almost there! Which means that the story is almost over :( The first chapter was posted at the end of April, and I began working on it at the beginning of April:) **

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! Poor Rodolphus :( It will be a happy day for him if he ever find out lol. We'll just have to wait and see if he actually does find out:)**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I think she probably does feel a little guilty because things would be different if she could just tell him the truth. I haven't decided if he finds out. Both ways would be good for the story, but I can't decide which route to take lol.**

**LadyRiddle'sLabyrinth: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 98**

"Mum," I say quietly, "if…if Mrs. Stoico…was truly serving the Dark Lord, why would she fight her father? Why would he kill her?"

Bellatrix looks at me sadly. "Abigail was trusted deeply by the Dark Lord, was one of the few of us who still were. Towards the end of the war, people were switching sides every day. The only ones who were allowed to collect you from the orphanage were Lucius and Narcissa. All others were to be stopped at any –"

"Even her own father?" I ask.

"Yes, even her own father," my mother answers. "Avery was one of the questionable ones. With his wife so openly turning against the Dark Lord, it was hard to believe that she had not infected his mind. Abigail had no choice but to fight him. That she had to die is a shame, but she did so to protect you. There is no way to know if Avery would have harmed you."

"Why didn't she just tell him – her father – that she was under orders of the Dark Lord?" I reply.

"She didn't trust him," Bellatrix says. "According to my father-in-law, Avery attacked her first."

"I was there," I argue. "That's not what happened. She said that she had been raised to serve the Dark Lord, but that she would never do that. She refused to hand me over because she believed the Dark Lord was dead. Avery said that she could have taken her rank in the Inner Circle but that she had betrayed the Dark Lord."

"He didn't know it, but she _had_ taken her rank. She had taken his position," Bellatrix replies.

"Then why would –"

"He was trying to set her off. Abigail had a temper. If he could anger her, he knew he could defeat her. And he did."

I have to look away from her. Mrs. Stoico was not who she had claimed to be.

Bellatrix seems to register my pain, for she changes the subject completely. "What's Hogwarts been like for you this year?"

"Rough, to be honest," I admit.

"How so?"

"Other than the looming thought of my duty? Well, the Carrows are not the most gracious of hosts," I say.

She is obviously bothered with this information. "What have they been doing?"

"Well, Dumbledore's Army has begun to resist them, and Snape came up with the idea of having me as a spy so the Carrows can keep tabs on the students," I reply. "But when I don't know anything about the D.A. – because they don't always share everything – the Carrows get rather restless with me."

She shifts around. "What do they do to you, Aurelia?"

"Well, Amycus has upgraded from shouting to hitting," I say quietly. "Just the other day he hit me across the face because I didn't have an answer for him."

Her face turns red with fury. "What?" she hisses.

"That was my reaction!" I reply. "I warned them not to, because of the Dark Lord and all, but they threatened me if I told him."

I smile on the inside when Bellatrix says, "I'll make sure the Dark Lord is informed of what has happened. They won't harm you again." The Carrows will learn soon enough not to mess with me. "What else has been happening?"

"Crabbe and Goyle tried killing me," I say.

Her face drops. "Hogwarts is supposed to be safe for you!" she argues.

"They tried killing me two years ago but failed, and they came back to finish the job," I reply. "They wanted revenge for me killing Avery when I was ten."

"What did you do?"

"The only thing I could do: I told them I was important to the Dark Lord."

She nods. "I'll also make sure that he knows you are in danger. That won't go unaddressed. You'll be fine."

"Thanks, Mum," I whisper.

"Your safety is one of the most important things to me," she says.

I smile at her. We're quiet for a moment. Then I say, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes," she replies uneasily.

"If something happens to me –"

"It won't. The Dark Lord wants you safe. Nothing will happen to you," she interjects.

"But just _say_ something happens to me," I reply. "I need you to promise me something."

She nods. "Anything."

"If I am no longer around, Mum, I need you…I need to know that the child will be cared for. I need to know that he will be loved, even if not by me. Mum, promise me that you will love him the way you loved me when I was a child."

"Nothing is going –"

"MUM!" I shout. I take a deep breath. "I…I'm sorry," I whisper. "I didn't mean…it just…I didn't mean to shout at you. It's just…I need you to promise me…just…just in case." I close my eyes. "Please promise me that you will be the mum to him that you were to me."

"He'll be your child, my grandchild," she states. "Of course I'll take care of him if something happens to you, though I don't believe it will."

I nod. "Thank you."

Not long after that, we head back to the kitchen to eat our tarts. "What are you going to name him?" she asks me.

I look up from my food, which is difficult because all I want to do is continue eating. My mother was right, this is certainly her specialty. "I don't know. Why?"

"Because my grandson must have a strong name," she answers. "He must have a name that carries meaning, something that brings fear into the heart of his enemies."

"Such as?"

She stops eating and is quiet for a few minutes. "I don't know. But we have time." My mother begins eating again, as do I.

"Would you prefer a grandson or granddaughter?"

"Why not one of each?" she replies.

I bite back my sudden fury. "What?" I hiss.

"You don't think the Dark Lord will make you die alone, do you?" Bellatrix asks. "He wants you to marry and have next generation of Death Eaters. Has he not told you?"

As much as I want to, I cannot tell her that Voldemort intends on murdering me when it is all said and done. "When did he tell you this?"

"We spoke about it not too long ago," she says. "But I guess it would be a rather poorly thought-out idea for you to marry either Crabbe or Goyle, seeing as they tried killing you. Theodore Nott is at Hogwarts, isn't he? What do you think of him?"

"I've never actually spoken with him," I answer. "I guess I'll have to marry a pureblood, won't I?"

"Of course, it must be a respectable marriage." She says this like it's the most common thing in the world.

"Meaning he has to be a rich, pureblooded Slytherin?"

She looks at me suspiciously. "Who did you have in mind?"

"He's not rich, and he's not a Slytherin," I say. "So I guess that's out of the question."

"You're talking about Fred Weasley, aren't you?" she asks. Everything drains out of me. How would she know about that? "I saw Draco's thoughts when I was teaching him Occlumency."

"I was using him to get back at Draco," I lie.

"That's what I guessed when Draco attacked the two of you. And I must admit that I was proud of you. You acted like a true Slytherin, using the poor Gryffindor boy like that."

I smile. "That's good to know, because sometimes I feel like I was placed in the wrong House."

"You were made for Slytherin," my mother assures me, even though I do not want to be told this.

* * *

"Why do I feel as if we never have enough time?" my mother asks quietly.

"I'm not quite sure," I whisper. "But it always seems like that." I feel the exact opposite of this, like time creeps by when I'm with Bellatrix, but I can't tell her that. We Apparate to Malfoy Manor. Draco is standing in the drawing room. He quickly takes me into his arms. I slip him a letter, one that Astoria had given me to relay to him.

"I hope your birthday was great," he says.

I smile at Bellatrix. "It was."

"Do you have to go back to Hogwarts right now?" he asks.

I nod. "Unfortunately."

"Take care." Draco pulls me into a hug again.

"Ditto," I reply.

Bellatrix then pulls me into her embrace. "Goodbye, Aurelia."

"Goodbye, Mum." I Disapparate.

But I do not go to Hogwarts, as I had told them, as it is expected of me. No, this is my chance to be away for a short while. And that is what I am doing. I'm going to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. I have money with me, and will be buying Christmas gifts.

My heart skips a beat when I look at that joke shop. Despite my desire to turn around and run, I take a deep breath and go toward the door. With one more breath of bravery, I enter. I dart through one of the aisles to avoid any awkward, unneeded contact with Fred.

I'm looking at a pair of Sticky Trainers for Christopher when a movement on the second floor catches my eyes. I see Fred walking around, and I scurry behind one of the large chocolate-dispensing machines. I peek through the glass until I see him turn his back. I can't do this to myself. I have to act normal. It's mandatory. So I continue my perusal of the aisles.

In the end, I have gifts for Christopher, Jacob, Emma, Julia, and each of Christopher's little sisters. I approach the counter with my arms full. I don't know who the employee is. I have never met him. He has dark skin and dark hair, but a white smile and light green eyes. "Hi," he greets me. "Getting in some early Christmas shopping?"

"Yes," I answer. "How long have you been working here?"

"A few months," he says.

"I can take it from here, Henry," a familiar voice says. I close my eyes in frustration. When I open them again, Fred is standing in front of me. "What are you doing out of Hogwarts?"

"I had to spend my birthday weekend with my mother," I answer stiffly. "I just decided to get some gifts for some friends before I went back to the castle."

"What are you doing for Christmas? Will you be stuck at Hogwarts?"

"No, I have a friend who invited me to stay with him," I reply.

His face hardens. "'Him,'" he mutters. "Would I know him?"

"Not at all. He's a second-year, a brother to me really. I began tutoring him last year. He's a sweet boy." I look around the shop. "Do you have any of the Patented Daydream Charms? I tried finding one but couldn't."

"We keep them back here," he answers as he turns to the wall behind him and grabs one. "We've had people trying to steal them." He sets it down with the rest of my stuff. "You are sixteen, right? You have to be at least sixteen to buy one."

"You're…you're asking me –"

"Only joking. I know how old you are. You turned eighteen last Friday, the twenty-first. How was it, by the way?"

"It was odd, to say the least. My parents had a row and…" I drift off. "Never mind." I don't want my first conversation with Fred in months to be about my parents. "It was good. How have you been?"

"I've been well," he says. "Ginny is no longer allowed to go to Hogsmeade. Did you know that?"

"They haven't told me, but then again, I don't really have a chance to go anymore."

"Why not?"

"It usually takes place at the end of the month, and I'm usually gone when that happens," I reply.

His face turns a slight shade of red. "Well, take the Daydream Charm. It's on the house."

"I can't do that," I state.

"Sure you can. Consider it a birthday gift," he says.

"I –"

"Just take it," he cuts me off. "Smile, be happy, and take it."

I smile and nod. "Very well then."

"So that comes out to eighteen Galleons and eight Sickles," he replies.

I stop. "No, it doesn't. Fred," a smile plays at his lips as I say his name, but I ignore it, "I already priced it. It's nearly thirty Galleons."

He shakes his head. "Not for you."

"I'm not taking any discounts," I argue.

"Don't be so difficult, Charlotte!" George laughs, now standing beside me. He gives me a one-armed hug. "You're a friend."

"But friends don't deserve discounts," I counter.

He smiles. "You've been through a lot."

I have to look away, my perfect excuse being that I have to find the money in my rucksack. I hand him twenty Galleons and say, "Keep the change."

Fred puts all of my purchases in a bag no bigger than my rucksack. "It's an Undetectable Extension Charm," he says. "The customers love it. No one can judge how much was bought." He ties the top of it in a bow and stretches out his arm to give it to me. As I reach out to grab it, our fingers graze over each other. I can only hope that my face does not turn red, but with how warm it feels, I know it did. But Fred's is just as red, so I do not feel as bad.

This little touch seems to be the light breeze that catches the still-burning embers of my affections for him and ignites them into a full fire again.

"Thanks," I say voicelessly.

"Anytime," he whispers.

"See you, Charlotte," George says.

"Goodbye, George," I reply.

I start to leave when I hear, very quietly, "Until next time, Charlotte."

I grin shyly at him. "Until then, Fred."

I Apparate to Severus's private quarters. He's standing in there, his arms crossed impatiently. "Where have you been?" he asks. "You should have arrived back here an hour ago!"

"I'm sorry, Severus," I say quietly. "I had a chance to get away for a short while and took it."

He sighs. "Don't let it happen again unless you tell me beforehand. Understood?"

I nod. "Yep." I reach into the bag and pull out the Daydream Charm and toss it to him. "I got something for you."

He smirks at it. "When will I _ever_ use this?"

"I don't know," I reply. "I just thought it'd be good for you if you ever needed to escape the real world."

He walks over and places it on the table beside the sofa. "I appreciate the thought."

I place the bag full of gifts on the sofa. "Can I hide this in here until Christmas?"

"That's a month away."

"Exactly, anyone could find it in the dorm. I don't want to risk it."

"You're paranoid, you know," he comments.

"With good reason," I reply.

He chuckles quietly. "What 'good reason' could you possibly have?"

"Um…let's see here…" I stroke my invisible beard. "My guess is the fact that the Carrows question me on a regular basis, under the authority of an unnamed Death Eater of the Inner Circle."

"I really believe you're over thinking this," he says as we make our way to his office.

"How ironic," I reply, "because I believe you're under thinking it."

I know this isn't going to go the way I want it to. "You're worrying over nothing," he says.

"I've told you that they all but admitted to being under the control of someone!" I argue. "Someone in the Inner Circle…they want to know something, or they think they know something, or they're fishing around to know something. Someone is controlling them."

"Who in the Inner Circle would benefit from turning against the Dark Lord?" Severus replies.

"The Malfoys!"

"The Malfoys?" he laughs. "They're too cowardly to attempt to turn against the Dark Lord, you know that. And in any case, Draco could just ask you. We all know you would just tell him." He seems to ponder something. "What have the Carrows been asking you?"

"Last time they stuck with questions about my family," I answer.

"And if it is the Malfoy family in charge of the questioning, they would not have to ask about your family," Severus states.

"Unless they have reasonable doubt of Rodolphus Lestrange being my father," I say.

"Do they have reasonable doubt?" the headmaster asks.

"Did Bellatrix ever truly love him?" I reply.

He stops for a moment. "But who else could be your father?"

"That's just it," I say. "Anyone can see that I have the Lestrange eyes, eyes like my father, eyes like Rodolphus." So why can't Rodolphus see that?

"Or eyes like Rabastan," Severus says.

"Have you met my mother?" I ask. "I don't think she would ever have slept with Rabastan Lestrange."

"I…" he silences for a moment. "I guess you have a point. Which brings us back to: The Malfoys would not ask about your family."

"Professor Snape!" a voice calls. Severus and I both look over at the portrait of Phineas Nigellus. "The Weasley boy has still not returned."

I glance at the current headmaster. "What's happened?" I ask him.

"Ron Weasley left Potter and Granger behind after a rather large fight. As you've just heard, he has not returned."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I haven't gotten around to it," he answers.

"When did it happen?"

"Shortly after the incident with the Sword of Gryffindor."

I think back for a moment. "You didn't tell me because you're still upset with me about that, aren't you?"

He smirks. "I moved on right after that happened."

"You know that the three of them splitting up affects me a great deal, Severus. Why haven't you said anything?"

"I did not want to concern you. When he returned, I planned on telling you."

"I should be…going…now." Without waiting for him to reply or taking the time to say anything else, I quickly leave his office.

I don't go to the Slytherin Dungeon. I go to McGonagall's office to talk to her about my father. Deep down, I know that if he knew the truth he would help me escape my duty and my fate. I can see it in his eyes every time he talks about me as Aurelia. He would do anything for me, I just know it.

* * *

**Mrs. Stoico was a true Death Eater all the time. Poor Charlotte.**

**Will something happen to force the Carrows, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy to all back down?**

**Fred and Charlotte had a conversation. Your thoughts?**

**Review!**


	99. Chapter 99

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, poor Charlotte, as if she hasn't been lied to enough :( Something will happen to them. I tried to capture that awkwardness that comes with stuff like that lol**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I've been waiting for that conversation for a while:) I wanted to establish a connection between Charlotte and Draco and Astoria, for later purposes. Having McGonagall will certainly help her move on. Something will happen with the Carrows. It gives me a sick feeling too, but it's necessary. It's such a hard decision between letting them live or having them die…**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte and Fred would be good together, but I don't know yet. Voldemort will do something about the Carrows.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Being paranoid is a bad thing for sure. Snape is calm because he knows she won't be harmed because of it considering her duty and all. That and he typically stays calm about things whereas Charlotte does not lol**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I liked her too, but you know…not everyone is who they say they are.**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! What do you mean have something happen between Snape and Charlotte? Fred will be back fairly soon.**

**sanajosi: Thanks for reviewing! It's great to hear that people like my writing:) I wanted them to, but I have plans so I couldn't. That's not the end of them though. **

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it was time to have them make contact again. I feel bad for her too**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! I try to stick to canon because it's based on the original story, you know? I don't want to change what J.K. Rowling has done. That being said, the motherly scenes with Bellatrix and McGonagall were a little weird for me too, but that was one of the things I had to change. Charlotte is risking a lot to be a spy, but I can't say if that will ever make her quit. Before I began posting the story, I wrote the first 15 chapters so I could update every day. I've been ahead of the readers this whole time lol. That's how I update so quickly. But right not I'm only two chapters ahead so I gotta work extra hard to get a good lead again. I like long reviews. Don't worry about it:)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Voldemort will do something. I just cant say what that is just yet:) I wish they would speak properly too, but it's a bit awkward for them at the moment. Fred's not out of the story yet though!**

**Araym1: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 99**

I sit on my bed in the seventh-year girls' dormitory, the curtains drawn to hide me from the real world. All the others have fallen asleep, but I am sitting straight up, staring at my birthday gift from Draco. It's the Patented Daydream Charm. It's meant to last thirty minutes. "I hope this works, Draco," I breathe. Why am I the least bit concerned? I trust Fred and George. This _will_ work.

The top of the box has a fine-looking young lad with beautiful young girl on a pirate ship. This is not what I want to daydream about. Mine will not be this farfetched. I want it to be obtainable. That's what a daydream is for. I open the top of the box. Inside is a vial of blue liquid and what looks like a cracker.

I take the two objects out. On the underside of the lid is a quick list of instructions. Following what these instructions say to do, I eat the cracker thing, which surprisingly tastes like an apple, then drink the liquid, which tastes a lot like pumpkin juice.

Sinking into my bed, I let the charm take over me.

_I'm looking at Hogsmeade. Just in the outskirts of the village there are few houses. One in particular stands out to me. It is a two-story white house._

_Suddenly, I'm inside the house. _

_I'm standing in a kitchen with tile floors and marble counters. "Can I help you, Mum?" a high-pitched voice asks me._

_I turn. Standing behind me with a smile plastered on his freckled face is a boy no more than four years old. He has blue eyes and short, curly red hair. "Of course, Archie," I answer. I wave my wand, and a chair scoots across the floor. I pick up my little boy and stand him up in the chair._

"_What're we making?" he asks._

"_Strawberry tarts," I answer._

_After grabbing a bag of flour, I pour it into the bowl. "It's dusty!" Archie laughs. I get some on my hands and flick it at him. He coughs a bit. "No!" His little hand reaches into the bowl and picks up a fistful and throws it at me._

"_What is this?" someone says. Archie and I turn to see Fred standing in the doorway. "I come home and find my family fighting in the kitchen." He shakes his head. "What a shame."_

"_Daddy!" Archie rejoices._

_Lifting the boy into the air and placing him on the ground, I whisper something in his ear. We both reach in the bowl and grab two handfuls of the flour. "Get him," I say._

"_Now, wait just a second –"_

_But Fred is too late. The two of us have ambushed him, throwing flour all over him. Fred scoops Archie into his arms. "This was my good suit!" he laughs. Archie squeals as Fred dangles him upside down. "This was my good suit! What am I supposed to tell your Uncle George?"_

"_That you're too big to wear matching suits!" our son giggles._

_Fred sets him upright and places him on the floor. "Now who told you that?" he asks._

"_Mum!" _

"_You little snitch!" I say, tickling his sides._

"_I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he giggles._

_I stop and look up at Fred. "Afternoon, darling," he says to me._

"_Afternoon, love," I reply. He leans down and presses his lips against mine._

"_No!" Archie says, trying his hardest to push Fred away from me. "No! Ew!"_

_When we separate, Fred rubs Archie's head and says, "You'll change your mind one day, buddy. But I think I might have to agree with you this time." He grins at me. "You tasted like flour." I look at my hand then flick whatever I can at him. Archie chuckles. "You think that's funny, do you, boy?" Before he can answer, Fred has picked the boy up and thrown him over his shoulder._

"_Mum!" Archie calls._

_Fred takes off running through the house. "Catch us if you can, Mum!" Fred laughs._

_I won't be taunted. I start after them._

"_Mum!" Archie calls again._

_Fred goes straight out the backdoor, and by the time I get out there, he has Archie up on a broom. I grab mine and fly toward them._

"_You'll never catch us!" Fred laughs. Then he zooms right by me. Archie's hysterical giggles echo around me. I whip out my wand and hit them with a blast of water. "We're going down, mate!" Fred says to Archie. Their broom spirals toward the ground. "We've been hit! We've been hit!"_

"_Fred!" I shout. My heart nearly drops out of my chest when Fred pulls up at the last second. He flies up toward me._

"_Breathe," he laughs. "You know I'd never actually plummet to the earth."_

_I smile at him. "_Accio _Archie_!"_ An invisible force lifts our son off the broom with Fred and brings him over to me. I wrap my arms around him securely and whisper to him, "Stick your tongue out at Daddy." He does._

"_You little devil!" Fred says. _

_I whiz away on the broom before he can do anything else about it. As soon as I can, I land, grab Archie up, and run inside. I close and lock the door behind me. "What about Daddy?" the boy asks._

"_Give him a moment," I say._

_Fred tries to open the door but soon finds that he is unable. He waves his wand at hit, and it unlocks. The moment it does, I lock it back. He does it again, only to have me lock it once more. He smirks at me and collapses to the ground. "Archie!" he cries. "Archie, help me!"_

"_Let him in!" our son shouts, trying desperately to open the door. "Let him in! Daddy!"_

_I roll my eyes at Fred as I open the door. "Better now?" I ask._

"_Much," he sighs. He takes the boy into his arms. "You saved me! You're a superhero!"_

_Archie straightens his back and puts his hands on his hips. "I'm a superhero!" he proclaims._

_I lower myself in front of him and run my hand through his short, curly red hair. "Why don't you and Daddy go wash up for dinner? Even superheroes need to eat," I say._

_Archie takes Fred by the hand and leads him through the living room to the spiral staircase that leads to the second floor. I lock the door again then turn back around. With a quick wave of my wand, the food in the kitchen begin preparing itself again. I walk in the opposite direction of the staircase, to the far hallway. I pass the empty nursery on the way to the room I share with Fred. The large windows give us a clear view of the backyard and of Hogwarts, which is not too far from where we live. I go to the bathroom to wash all of the flour off of myself._

_By the time I come back out, Fred and Archie are sitting at the table waiting for me. "It took you long enough," Fred comments. "We both had time to get baths in the amount of time it took for you to get one."_

"_Yeah, mum!" Archie agrees. "You took too long!"_

"_I have more hair I had to get flour out of," I reply. I sit down with them, and the food fills our plates._

"_I helped Mum make strawberry tarts," Archie announces. _

"_Is that what the two of you were doing when I got home?" he asks._

"_Yep," the boy says proudly._

_A few hours after dinner, Fred throws Archie over his shoulder again, and we go to the boy's room. There are Quidditch posters on the wall and a red and silver comforter adorning the bed. Fred throws Archie onto the bed then jumps onto the foot of it, spreading all the way across. I crawl beside the boy and wrap my arm around him and play with his hair. _

_Fred hands his son a teddy bear. Archie gladly takes the bear then snuggles himself under the sheets, mumbling something. I look at Fred, but he has no idea what the boy said, either. "What was that, mate?" my husband asks, rubbing Archie's leg._

"_I want a brother," he whispers._

_I bend down and kiss the top of his head. "Why?" I ask._

"_Daddy has Uncle George. You have Uncle Draco," he answers. "I want a brother too."_

"_Someday," Fred replies. "You might get one someday." He crawls off the bed and comes around to stand beside me. "But right now, you need to go to sleep." Archie's eyes are already closed, but he still nods. Fred leans over me and kisses the boy's cheek. "Goodnight."_

_I kiss our son's forehead. "Goodnight."_

"_Goodnight," he sighs._

_Fred takes me by the hand and leads me out of the room, closing the door and turning the light off behind us. He wraps his arms around me from behind and rests his head on my shoulder. Together we walk back to the living room. "Would you want a boy or a girl this time around?" I whisper to him._

_He kisses the base of my neck. "I'm thinking a girl," he answers. "But why not a girl and another boy? I want him to have a brother, but I also want him to have a sister. There's something wonderful about being a brother to a younger sister. And just ask Ginny, it was absolutely wonderful to have brothers." I chuckle, knowing that this was not always the case. He sits in the recliner and pulls me into his lap, forcing me to straddle him. "What would you want?"_

"_I want a daughter," I say. "Another boy would be good too, but I would really enjoy a daughter."_

"_Two boys and a girl," Fred replies. "Could you handle that?"_

_I smirk. "Of course I can."_

"_You sound confident."_

"_Well, I've been raising Archie for almost four years, and I've been raising you for seven."_

_His thumb traces my lip. "Shut up," he laughs._

"_I think I could handle it. Besides, I always have your mum to get advice from. She raised seven children pretty well."_

_He pulls me down to kiss him. "Then we should start trying again," he whispers._

_I put my hands on either side of his face. "Well, we don't really have to try," I say._

"_Are…are you –"_

"_Yes," I breathe. He smiles and puts his hand on my stomach. "I just found out today."_

_He wraps his arms around me tightly. "This calls for a celebration," he informs me._

"_We can tell everyone at the Burrow during dinner this Sunday," I say._

_He pulls my lips down to his again. "That's not necessarily the 'celebrating' I was talking about, Aurelia." He stands up, but I keep my legs wrapped around his waist. Kissing me still, he leads me to the room we have shared for years. He gently puts me on the bed. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," I say._

The Daydream Charm's effect fades off. I pull my legs up to my chest. It seems that everyone is oblivious to the fact that I just lived through the most heart-devouring experience of my life.

* * *

"Do you really believe Bellatrix has told He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named about the danger you're in here?" McGonagall asks me. I will be leaving for Malfoy Manor tonight. Though the thought of that pains me, knowing that I will be at Christopher's for Christmas keeps me going.

"I believe she did," I answer. "She was overly upset with them when I told her what happened."

"So you believe you'll be safe now?" she asks.

"I hope so," I say, taking a sip of my tea. "He doesn't take kindly to people disobeying a direct order, and their direct order was to keep me safe. They're the ones who have been harming me." I smile. "I have told you that I will be spending Christmas with Christopher?"

She seems suspicious. "And who knows about this?"

"No one," I lie. "Everyone believes I'll be here at Hogwarts. I just have to make an appearance before I leave for Malfoy Manor. I'll be trapped in the Slytherin Dungeon for the duration of the holidays." I feel a tad bit ashamed at myself for lying to her.

"And you think that will work?"

"Definitely," I say.

I am forced to leave her office right after that. It's nearly eleven 'o' clock, which means that it is almost time for me to go to Severus's private chambers. McGonagall and I say our quick goodbyes; then I leave to go to the girls' bathroom on the third floor.

When I reach it, I take out Alphard's pocket watch and countdown. I have three minutes.

"Running off again?" I hear. Slowly, I turn around. Crabbe and Pansy are both pointing their wands at me. Pansy smirks. "You didn't think we would just let you get away with humiliating us, did you?"

"I was hoping," I reply sheepishly. The Impediment Jinx rams me into the wall. I groan, "I don't have time for this."

"And just why is that?" Crabbe laughs. "Who are you meeting in here?"

"No one," I answer.

"Sure you're not," Pansy replies. "If we wait in here, I'm sure he'll come, won't he? So, who is it?"

"Longbottom?" Crabbe suggests. "Or is it Finnigan?"

"Or is it a Hufflepuff?" Pansy asks. "I'm sure it's not a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw. They're both too smart for you."

"Ravenclaw too smart of her?" Crabbe asks sarcastically.

Pansy shrugs. "I guess it could be a Ravenclaw…"

"So who is?" Crabbe sneers.

I cross my arms. "I don't think you truly want to know."

Crabbe smirks. "Oh, I assure you that we do."

"No, you don't."

"Get her, Crabbe," Pansy commands.

The boy begins lumbering over to me, and I am instantly caught in a similar fear as when Voldemort comes toward me. I quickly pull out my wand and send him flying against the sinks. "Not your best idea," I say, throwing a shield around myself. "I suggest you leave now." I glance at my pocket watch.

"As a prefect, I demand you answer me," she states.

I smile. "And as an independent witch, I refuse." It's nearly three minutes past eleven. I truly do not have time for this. "Just leave. You don't want to know what is truly going on."

Crabbe points his wand at me again. "_Crucio!"_

The sink jerks itself off the wall and takes the curse for me. "Big mistake," I say. Silently, I cast Sectumsempra at him. I can hear the slice of his skin from over here. He collapses to his knees, holding his leg, screaming in pain. I Stun Pansy as she runs over to check on him. Then I Stun Crabbe. I Disapparate as fast as possible.

"After the grief you gave me about being late, you arrive late yourself," Severus comments.

"I was attacked," I growl. "Parkinson and Crabbe ambushed me in the bathroom. Crabbe might bleed out, I don't know. You might want to run do something about it." I meet his eyes. "Sectumsempra, I used Sectumsempra on him."

Severus disappears without a word. I sit down on the foot of the bed and bury my face in my hands. What have I done? Perhaps Severus will get there in time to save him, but I can't be sure about that. I took this completely too far. Then again, he attacked me first.

I should not feel guilty about this.

Then why do I?

"He'll be okay," Severus informs me when he comes back nearly fifteen minutes later.

"You're sure about that?" I ask.

"He is now in the hospital wing. The Carrows have been informed of what has happened, unfortunately."

"Well, Bellatrix planned to tell the Dark Lord about their abusing me anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter much." I flop onto my back on the bed and cover my face. "Why must life be so difficult? Why do I feel so guilty about this? Am I going to be punished for this? After all, Crabbe is the son of a loyal Death Eater. I'm not loyal. I don't think this will end well, will it?"

Severus sits down beside me. "You'll be fine," he assures me. "It matters not that Crabbe is loyal to the Dark Lord. What matters is that he tried harming you. From what I can tell, the Dark Lord believes that only he himself has the right to lay a hand on you. Any other will be punished." He takes my arm and pulls me into an upright position. "You are not to be blamed for this. You had no choice."

I look away. "But…but I enjoyed it…"

"Don't worry about it, Charlotte," he says softly. "It will all be a bad memory tomorrow morning. Chin up," he forces me to look at him. "You'll be fine."

I smile sadly.

"You'll be fine," he repeats.

I lean against his chest and take a deep breath. His arms slip around me. I stretch up and kiss him. He gently pushes me against the mattress, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He grabs the back of my neck; his fingers begin playing with my hair.

There is not much that I know for sure anymore, but I do know that if I must have a child, I want it to be his over being the Dark Lord's.

* * *

**Special thanks to _Dolceconbrio_ who gave me the idea of having one of the Slytherins get hurt and for having Pansy attempt to use her prefect power over Charlotte**

* * *

**So I know the daydream was cheesy, but it was what Charlotte. Other than that, did you like it? Or should Charlotte stop torturing herself and move on?**

**What did you think about Crabbe and Pansy attacking her? **

**Charlotte has accepted the fact that she wants Snape's child over Voldemort's. You thoughts?**

**Review!**


	100. Chapter 100

**100 chapters! I can't believe it's lasted this long!**

**Bad news, I can't update tomorrow. I'm extremely sorry :(**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! No problem, thanks for the help. That's pretty much answered in this chapter. And wow you're right, that would cause sooo much drama. I would prefer anyone over Voldemort as well, so I guess it's no surprise that Charlotte wouldn't mind have Snape's child.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted some cheesy fluff for once, since it doesn't happen often lol. Fred should definitely get over it. They're Slytherin; they think they're all powerful. I agree that Fred's child would be the ideal situation for her, but you know…not everything works out that well**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! She and Bellatrix aren't really done with their meetings in the cottage yet:) I wanted Charlotte to have a fluffy daydream, since most of her life is the opposite lol. Draco and Charlotte will be like siblings, like they are now. Honestly, they disturb me a tad too, but they're necessary. That's why I don't go into detail lol. The important thing between them is their care for each other and their conversations**

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for reviewing! That's so sweet lol.**

**sanajoshi: Thanks for reviewing! Honestly, I was smiling while I wrote it :)**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I would like for that to happen for her. Something will happen to them, but I can't say what. I'll talk about it later. Voldemort doesn't know for sure; he's just assuming. I'm willing to listen to your "hints" (lol) but I can't say what will happen for sure. How many members do you have? :)**

** A. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! If it all works out for them the way she wants, I'm sure that's how they'd be lol. I don't believe she should feel bad, all things considered. At this point, I am not sure if she will have a child or who the father will be if she does. That is up for debate as well.**

**Cookie Monster: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I see your point. But he still loves Lily. So they would both have to move on…and that might be difficult **

**zhalia4moon: Thanks for reviewing! And…sorry. **

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss: Thanks for reviewing! They should help each other, but that would take a lot for the two of them because they both love someone else. So moving on would be difficult. Voldemort will do something to them**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so excited about that! This is the longest story I've ever written! I wanted Charlotte to have something really sweet and fluffy to think about. I think everyone either wants it to be Snape's or Fred's.**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I'm stoked about the 100 chapters! I think she is torturing herself, but dwelling on Fred is one of the only truly joyful things she has left. Crabbe and Pansy are idiots.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay, don't worry about the lack of reviews. I understand how school make it difficult to review and all:) Good luck on the band thing!**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! I was smiling the whole time I wrote it:) I wanted fluff in Charlotte's life, even if it was actually real. Deep down I wanted her to end up with him too. As for me going against canon, it's up for debate. I'm thrilled you had a fangirl moment! Like, I don't think you understand lol. I've never had someone tell me they had a fangirl moment over this story before:)**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for the follow and the review! I like Fred and Charlotte. Draco and Charlotte makes me feel weird now that they're cousins, which is why they're more of siblings now. I see how she and Snape could make you feel awkward. It's not the ideal situation for either one of them, but it's how she manages to live with herself. And as for who has a relationship with a teacher? It's happened in the real world many times. The story will end after the Battle of Hogwarts. I can't say who lives and who dies.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 100**

I give Draco Astoria's letter. "Thanks," he says quietly, taking it in his hands as gingerly as Astoria had done with his. "I hope you don't mind being used like an owl. I didn't know any other way of safely getting a letter to her."

I smile. I've been in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor for half an hour, waiting on my chaperone for the day. Unfortunately, it is not Draco. I don't know why, and neither does he, but I guess there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. "It's fine," I tell him. "I'm just glad you've found someone."

"Speaking of which," he replies, "have you still not spoken to Weasley?"

"I actually went to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes after my birthday to get some gifts for people," I answer.

"How was he?"

"Civil," I say. "I don't really know how else to describe it. There was an awkward vibe in the air though. George helped get us through it. Without him…I doubt there would have been much of a real conversation."

He shakes his head silently.

"Do you know who is supposed to be watching after me?" I ask.

He smirks. "You think they tell me things that important?"

"Point taken. When are they supposed to be here?" I look around the drawing room as if that will somehow summon my temporary supervisor for the day.

"I don't know that either, Charlotte," he replies.

Before I have a chance to ask another question, there is a _pop!_ The person who has just entered the room is certainly not going to be the one who is watching after me. The Death Eater standing before me is Amycus Carrow. I open my mouth to ask what he's doing here when Bellatrix enters. "Carrow," she commands, "come with me."

My mother does not so much as look at me as she escorts Amycus from the room. "What was that about?" Draco whispers.

"I don't know," I whisper. "It might have had something to do with how they've been treating me. It hasn't been well."

"My guess is that their treatment will change after this," he comments.

"Good morning," someone greets us. Draco and I turn to see Rodolphus standing in the doorway. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Charlotte." When my cousin stands to leave, my father adds, "You are more than welcome to say with us if you'd like, Draco."

"I would, Rodolphus," he says, "but there are some things I must do first." He smiles at me, and in that smile I see that he wants to read the letter from Astoria. "I might meet up with you later." Then he leaves.

I look back at Rodolphus. "It's good to see you again as well, sir."

"Don't call me 'sir.' I like to believe that I'm still young," he says. I can't help but smile. My father offers me his hand and helps me up. "Your wish is my command, Charlotte. What would you like to do this fine morning?"

"Eat," I state.

Smiling, he leads me out of the drawing room and into the kitchen. After we take our seats across from each other, he says quietly, ignoring the food and plates that are flying onto the table. "I feel the need to apologize to you."

"For what?" I ask.

"I lost control at Lestrange Cottage when I saw you there with Bellatrix," he answers. "I did some things, said some things, acted in ways that I should not have."

"It's fine, honestly –"

"It's not," he interrupts me. "Though I may be a Death Eater, I was raised in a wealthy family, raised to be proper. Not many of us still practice this, but I try. And I failed. I need to apologize to you."

"I accept your apology."

"Good, now I suggest we move on," he replies.

"Sounds good to me," I say. We begin eating the meal that had been prepared for us. "Do you know why Amycus Carrow is here?"

"You didn't think the Dark Lord would just let it go that you were being mistreated, did you?" Rodolphus answers.

"I didn't think he would believe it."

"From what I've gathered, he believes that keeping you comfortable will help you fear your duty a bit less," my father says.

"I don't doubt he wants me safe," I reply. "I just wish he would take the tip as well."

Rodolphus's face becomes sad, but he doesn't comment on what I've just said. "During your short stay at the cottage, did Bellatrix happen to make strawberry tarts?"

I smile. "Yes, actually, and they were amazing."

"She used to make them for us and our daughter," he says. "It was the only thing the house-elves never made. And for that, I am grateful, because I do not believe they would have made them as well as she did."

"If you don't mind my asking, Rodolphus, why did the Dark Lord want you to watch after me again?" If what Severus said is true, Voldemort would not want to torture me mentally in hopes that I will cease fighting.

My father smiles charmingly. "The Dark Lord did not force me to look after you; I requested to."

I have no idea how to respond. Of all the things I would have expected Rodolphus to say, it was not this. I look into his eyes, eyes that I inherited. My voice is nothing more than a whisper when I ask, "Why?"

He holds my gaze for just a second longer before jerking his eyes away from mine and taking a bite of his eggs. After swallowing, he says in a soft voice, "There's just something about you, Charlotte. I wanted to see what Bellatrix has seen in you."

"What makes you think she has 'seen' something in me?" I ask.

"Because, although we are estranged, she is my wife, and I know that she would never taken anyone to Lestrange Cottage unless they were…unless they meant something to her. If you mean something to her, then she must have seen something in you. I want to know what that is," he states.

I smirk. "Did you ever think that perhaps it is my charming smile or my winning personality?"

"I've debated it," he answers with a slight laugh. "Do you act like this in front of the Dark Lord?"

"Act like what?" I ask.

He looks away from me. "You remind me of Rabastan and myself before we joined the Inner Circle."

"The only side of me the Dark Lord sees is my fighting spirit," I admit.

"You've been taught Occlumency then, haven't you?" he replies.

"How did you know?"

"You can't fight the Dark Lord unless you can block your mind from his Legilimency," he says. "Who taught you?"

"Dumbledore," I state. "He taught me before he died, because he knew that I would need it when I faced the Dark Lord."

Draco enters the room. "Charlotte," he says, handing me another letter and taking a seat next to Rodolphus, "if you don't mind?"

"I don't mind." I take the letter and hide in my robes.

"Got yourself a girl, Draco?" Rodolphus laughs.

"Trying," he answers.

"She have a name?" my father replies.

"Astoria Greengrass, she's a pureblood," Draco says.

Rodolphus smiles at him. "I wish you luck."

During the next few hours of my stay at Malfoy Manor, I catch only one more glimpse of Amycus as he leaves. But this one glimpse is all I need to see the resentment in his eyes as he meets my gaze. Perhaps now the Carrows will learn to stay away from me. Just a few moments after Amycus leaves, I see Bellatrix escorting Alecto through the hallways, taking her to see Voldemort.

"My guess is that the Carrows will finally learn how important you are to the Dark Lord," Rodolphus says.

"How did you know about that?" I ask.

"I hear things," my father states.

"From whom exactly?" a voice asks.

The three of us – Draco, Rodolphus, and myself – turn to see none other than Severus Snape standing in the doorway. I lose my voice for a moment. "Severus," Rodolphus greets him, "odd seeing you here."

"I was summoned by the Dark Lord for questioning concerning the Carrows," Severus replies, "but it seems that he has not finished with them just yet." The headmaster takes a seat next to me.

"He just wants to question you?" I ask.

He looks me in the eye. "I'm not here to be punished," he assures me.

"Are you sure about that?" I reply.

"Positive," Severus answers. "The Dark Lord will not harm me."

Rodolphus shifts around. "You know you can never be sure about what the Dark Lord will or will not do, Severus."

"About this I can be, Rodolphus," the other man says. He then looks over at me. "You needn't worry about me, Charlotte."

Just a few minutes later, Bellatrix enters the kitchen. "Snape," she says, "the Dark Lord is ready for you." The man in question stands up, gives me an encouraging look, and follows my mother to wherever Voldemort is.

"Severus treats you right at Hogwarts, I see," Rodolphus comments.

"Yeah, much better than the Carrows," I answer.

Our conversation reverts back to Draco and Astoria, a subject I find much easier to talk about without wanting to crawl under a table to keep my secrets hidden from everyone.

Severus comes through the kitchen less than an hour later. "I am completely unscathed," he comments. As he leaves, he pats my shoulder comfortingly.

And when the time comes for me to go to Voldemort, my mother, as always, takes me to him. "You no longer have to worry about the Carrows, or Crabbe and Goyle for that matter."

"What happened?" I ask as we walk through the manor.

"I can't say," she replies. "The Dark Lord took care of it. That's all you need to know." We stop at the door. "I'll be waiting for you." Bellatrix gives me a quick hug. Then I enter _the room_.

I go and stand in the center. Only a few short minutes later, Voldemort arrives. "Charlotte," he says coldly.

"Lord Voldemort," I reply just as coldly.

"I hear you have been having trouble with the Carrows," he says.

"You heard correctly," I state.

His anger shows on his face. "Rodgers," his voice is icy, "I will accept no more disrespect from you."

"Yeah, well, I don't think there is another way," I state.

"But there is," Voldemort counters. "You see, I have heard some things about what is taking place at Hogwarts."

"Is that so?" I reply sarcastically. "I didn't think you listened to the inner workings of the school, didn't think you cared too much about it."

"It has been brought to my attention that you are being mistreated –"

"You mean by someone other than yourself?" I interject.

He holds back his temper, despite me trying to provoke him. "Precisely," he replies. "The Carrows, the sons of Crabbe and Goyle, some pathetic seventh-year girl – they've all made your life difficult. I will inform my followers of the truth about you in order to protect you –"

"Well, I'm glad you figured something out," I comment.

"But I will only do so when you stop resisting," he finishes.

Anger flares in me automatically. "That's never going to happen. I'll take my chances with the fools back at Hogwarts."

"Then I'll have your watch your mother kill your father, shall I?" he responds. My mouth opens to reply, but I find myself short of breath and of my voice. "Take the deal, Charlotte."

"But –"

"You will not conceive with the beatings and stress you bring upon yourself. You know that as well as I."

The 'beatings that I bring upon myself'? This is enough to ignite an ungodly amount of fury in my heart.

"You have ten seconds to choose."

"I don't like my options," I retort.

"There are no others," he states. "You have five seconds before I arrange your father's death."

"But he's not really my father if he doesn't know that he is," I state, silently hoping that he doesn't catch my bluff. I would be unable to live with myself if I caused Rodolphus's death.

"Then your little friends at Hogwarts?" Voldemort suggests. "Jacob Butler – it'd be shame to end the life of a pureblood, but I will. Emma Greene, a half-blood; Julia Mitchells, a half-blood," I can't help but be overjoyed that he is ignorant to the fact that Julia is a Muggle-born, but I can't say that I am surprised. No one has asked me about it, but she is at Hogwarts, which leads most people to the assumption that she is at least a half-blood. I wonder why no one has looked into that. But I will not question it. "And last but certainly not least, a young Mr. Christopher Collins, a half-blood to whom you are more connected than you could ever imagine."

"Don't threaten them!" I roar. "You won't lay a finger on them!"

"Won't I?" Voldemort asks. "Make your choice."

There really is no debating this, I suppose. Nothing can change this. I nod. "Okay," I whisper. "I…I'll stop resisting. Just…don't hurt them."

The Dark Lord shakes his head. "You're weak."

"Because I love people?" I ask. "From what I hear, that's how Harry Potter will defeat you."

He swoops forward and grabs my face violently. "Harry Potter is but a boy, a boy who is successful because of nothing more than my failures, not his victories. He will not defeat me."

"I believe he will."

His grip on my cheeks tightens, making them throb painfully. "You will not disrespect me, lest the same punishment befall you."

"That wasn't part of the deal," I spit.

"It is now," he growls.

"No," I state. "It's not."

"Perhaps you would prefer that I summon your mother and father to the garden where she will end his life, that I summon the Carrows back with those four young friends of yours so you can kill them yourself," he replies.

I bite my lip. This is awful. Literally, there is no way around it. "Fine," I grumble. "You win."

"It was always going to end this way, Charlotte. Surely you must have known that, deep down," he replies.

I set my jaw and look away from him.

"Only one thing can put a stop to this," he continues. With much more effort than it should take, I keep my eyes averted from him. "Conceive the child, and it will all end."

"Until you kill me," I snarl.

"Respect, Charlotte," he reminds me. "Look me in the eye." Clenching my jaw, I close my eyes and turn my head to him. His fingers tighten again on my cheeks. "Respect." I forcibly open my eyes to meet his. "Was that so hard?"

"Yes."

"Yes _what_?"

"Yes, _my Lord_," I say rudely.

He releases my face, and I flinch. "I'm not going to harm you."

"I think I've heard that lie before," I reply.

"But now you know the consequences of your actions, and I do not believe you will resist me again."

Voldemort forces me over to the bed, and there is nothing I can do to stop what is going to happen to me. I can't fight him; I can't even attempt to fight him. My family and friends mean too much to me for me to risk their lives.

Severus was wrong. I won't be okay. I have lost this war with Voldemort.

But there is one thing that gives me the ability to live with this. I will never tell if I get pregnant. He will not have the joy in knowing that he accomplished his mission. I will not panic about it again. I'll keep it to myself. No one will ever know, not Voldemort, not Narcissa, not Bellatrix, not Draco, not even Severus or McGonagall. Only I will know.

"Are you going to use the Imperius Curse again?" I ask quietly.

"I used the curse out of my graciousness," I don't believe Voldemort has graciousness, but I don't voice this. "You have ruined your chance of mercy."

The Dark Lord pushes me down onto the bed. All I can do is imagine myself anywhere but here.

* * *

**Poor Charlotte. Looks like her fighting days are over :( Your thoughts?**

**What about Rodolphus requesting to watch after her?**

**What do you think Voldemort did to the Carrows?**

**Review!**


	101. Chapter 101

**Sorry I couldn't update yesterday!**

* * *

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! One can only hope lol. I want him to know, but that might not be the best course to take. I don't know yet. Thanks! **

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I know right, poor Charlotte. I don't go into too much detail about it because she isn't really supposed to know. But I'll say what happened.**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I would just about die if that were me lol. Charlotte would be devastated if she got pregnant and people found out. I don't mind answering:) I would love to be an author. It's all I've wanted to do for years. I have been looking at different universities I could go to. There are so many of them…**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! He was waiting for her to have a change of heart. Lol, I'm sure she'd absolutely hate it hahaha. You're right about Voldemort letting Rodolphus look after her so it would be harder for her to cause his death. I won't go into too much detail about what he did because Charlotte isn't really supposed to know. He'll tell the other Death Eaters as soon as possible.**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! I think she made the right choice, too. Perhaps Rodolphus is beginning to sense something… I'll briefly talk about what Voldemort did. I like your prediction, but you're right about me not being able to say whether it's right or not:)**

**AlannaSnape: Thanks for reviewing! She can't get her fighting spirit back because it would put her friends and family at risk. :(**

**sanajoshi: Thanks for reviewing! Voldemort did punish them, but I'll talk about it more in this chapter. **

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I guess it took him long enough lol. The end is certainly very near. I like your idea. A child would certainly come between Fred and Charlotte. And if Severus lived, it would be difficult for her to have a relationship with Fred because of it. I can't wait for everyone to see how it all ends:)**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! Voldemort is an extremely evil man. I love hearing about fangirl moments. I think that makes writing the story even more worth it:)**

**lee-lee94: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, I love hearing that people enjoy the story! Rodolphus might; he might not. You never know. I want her to have a happy ending, but not everyone gets happy endings. We'll just have to wait and see!**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for the favorite and the follow and the review! I feel bad for her too. The poor girl… Voldemort did stuff to them as punishment. I'll talk a little bit about it in this chapter.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! It's a shame her fighting is over, but it was bound to come sooner or later. Thanks, I think Voldemort is one of the easiest to keep in character. Threatening her loved ones was the only way to stop her because controlling her certainly would not work. I want Rodolphus to find out the truth too, but I'm just not sure that doing so is the best thing for the story. We'll have to wait. I'll talk briefly about what he did to them during this chapter.**

**Lovewriting12: Thanks for reviewing! I had a reason for making her a Muggle-born. Unfortunately, things have happened that have stopped it from being as important as I had hoped. Oh well, it happens.**

**Artemis Snow: Thanks for the follow!**

**vallilakshmanan: Thanks for the follow!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 101**

I slide off the bed and onto the stone floor. Voldemort left just a few minutes ago. I stumble across the floor and grab my robes, wrapping them around myself. I haul myself onto the black sofa and pull the blanket off the back of it. I bring my knees to my chest, cover myself with the blanket, and bury my face into my legs, trying desperately to suppress my sobs.

The door opens, and someone walks in. I don't look up. Whoever it is will no doubt introduce themselves in a moment. "Charlotte," I hear. So it's not Bellatrix in the room. "Charlotte, are you all right?"

Slowly, I lift up my head. Narcissa is standing in front of me. Lucius is a few paces behind her. "I'm fine," I whisper coarsely.

My aunt sits down next to me. "Charlotte, are you hurt?" she asks.

"No," I reply. "I didn't fight him. He…he threatened them…"

"Who?"

"Everyone," I whisper. "I can't…I won't…I can't risk my friends, the people I care about."

Lucius takes a step forward. "Charlotte," he says, "who did he threaten?"

"Bellatrix, Rodolphus, my friends at Hogwarts," I answer. "He…he said…they'd be punished…if I…if I fought."

Narcissa wraps her arms around me. "Oh, Charlotte," she breathes, "I am so sorry."

"You can't tell him I told you," I say firmly. "He'll punish me." I close my eyes. "I want to leave now."

My aunt and uncle help me to my feet and lead me from the room. Bellatrix takes me into her arms. She had been waiting in the hallway. "You'll be fine, Aurelia," she says.

"Thanks, Mum." She smiles at me before I Disapparate.

Severus is not in his private chambers when I arrive. I guess I can't blame him. It's usually much later when I arrive. I sit down on the edge of the bed and rest my head in my hands. This is outrageous. I've given everything to stop this from happening to me, but Voldemort still found a way to ruin my efforts.

The door opens, and in walks Severus. He freezes for a brief second. "Merlin, what are you doing here?" he asks quietly as he closes the door.

I just shake my head, unable to speak at the moment.

"Does the Dark Lord know you left?"

"Yes, I was given permission to leave," I whisper.

He walks over toward me and sits down beside me. "You're safe here once again," he says. "The Dark Lord has punished the Carrows – quite severely if I might say so myself – and he will be alerting all of his followers not to harm you."

"The others won't know what I have to do though, right?"

"He doesn't want anyone else knowing," Severus answers. "Why are you here so soon?"

"I couldn't fight him off, so I didn't pass out from the beating as I usually do," I say softly.

"What do you mean you 'couldn't fight him off'?"

Tears trickle down my face. "He…he said he would kill them…"

"Who?" the headmaster whispers.

"He would force me to kill the four second-years. He would make me watch Bellatrix kill Rodolphus. Severus, I can't risk that," I say. "I wasn't allowed to resist him."

His arm wraps around my shoulders. "Charlotte," his voice is sympathetic, and it shreds what is left of my heart. "You will win this. It's only a matter of time."

I shake my head. "I've learned that there are no victories, Severus," I state.

"Of –"

"There's only the battle," I continue, ignoring his brief interruption. "And if you're lucky, you'll find a place to make your stand. The ground has been sucked out from under me. I'm falling into the abyss, where there is no chance of taking my stand again. I've lost."

His arm squeezes me tighter. "You haven't lost," he says quietly. "You can still take your stand."

"There's nothing I can do!" I argue.

"Yes, there is," he counters. "What the two of us do to silently rebel against the Dark Lord can be the ground you stand upon. This can be your stand against him."

I nod slightly then pull his lips down to meet mine. "I'm so scared, Severus," I whisper.

He brushes the hair out of my face. "I will do all that I can to protect you, Charlotte. You must know that. I won't let him kill you. You'll be okay."

I hide my face in his chest. "I trust you."

Severus takes me into his arms and pushes me back onto the mattress. I lock his lips to mine. Comfort is all I feel when I'm with him. He makes me feel as if everything will be all right, despite what is really going on around us.

* * *

Over breakfast the next morning, Severus says to me, "The Carrows have requested you go to the dungeons after breakfast."

"But does that mean I am 'arriving' earlier than usual?" I ask.

"Unfortunately, yes," he answers. "You are to be arriving when we finish eating."

"Joy," I mutter. "Why am I to be here that soon?"

He shifts uncomfortably. "They want to speak with you."

"They're going to attack me, aren't they?"

He smirks. "They were Cruciated for that, so I don't believe they'll cross that line again."

After hearing that, it seems that time speeds up. I am already dreading my meeting with the Carrows. I wonder if they will subject me to more Veritaserum for some odd reason. Perhaps if I can slip them some of the potion, I can finally understand who is in charge of the twins.

When we finish eating, I leave his office, greet Dumbledore's portrait, and then go to the dungeons. My steps are slower than they typically are, probably due to my problem with speaking with the Carrows.

"She'll be here soon," a voice says when I get close enough to hear. I know this voice to belong to Amycus Carrow.

"Who?" someone else asks.

I enter the room. "Morning," I say quietly.

"Charlotte?" Goyle asks. He and Crabbe and Pansy are sitting in the room with the Carrow siblings. There are three wands on a table in front of the Carrows, wands I assume belong to the three students who are obviously resentful.

"I…" don't know what to say, so I just leave it at that.

"Good morning, Rodgers," Alecto says.

"What…what's going on?" I ask.

"Well, as you probably already know, we had a meeting with the Dark Lord," Amycus replies coldly.

Alecto grabs his arm tightly and whispers frantically, "We did not undergo the Cruciatus Curse for you to turn around and disrespect her again, did we?"

He looks over at the three students and continues, "From what we hear, there have been a number of rows between the three of you and Charlotte." He smirks. "I believe that is how you ended up in the hospital wing, Crabbe."

"He deserved it," I interject.

Crabbe glares at me. Before he can speak, Amycus finishes, "Charlotte is not to be touched again. Are we clear? The Dark Lord himself has demanded her safety and comfort."

"Why?" Pansy asks rudely. "What's so special about her?"

"You're not entitled to know," I say sharply.

"If we learn that any of you have harmed her in any way or have orchestrated another to harm her, the Dark Lord himself will punish you as he sees fit," Alecto informs.

They all give a stiff nod.

"Am I free to go now?" I ask. "I don't really –"

"You can Cruciate them if you'd like, show them who's boss," Alecto laughs. "We'll turn a blind eye to it."

I shake my head. "I'm good, thanks. I've done enough of that recently. So, can I leave?"

"You tell us if any of them come for you, understand?" Alecto says to me.

I nod. Then I turn around and leave the dungeons.

In the corridor, I catch a glimpse of the second-years and the Greengrass sisters. I have to stop moving. My heart does this little leap. I have a new appreciation for my friendship with them.

Three years ago I had absolutely no one in my life. Three years ago I would have died alone, no one even knowing of my existence. Three years ago I would have been willing to end my own life to escape this fate. In fact, I tried that when I jumped off Durham Cathedral; it would have worked, too, had Lucius not stopped me.

Now though, I can't imagine life any other way. My friends mean too much to me. McGonagall, Severus, the Greengrass sisters, and the second-years – I rely on them more than I would like to admit. I mean, my love for them, with the exception of Severus and McGonagall, was always questionable (in my mind, at least), but when I heard that they might die, I could not stand the thought.

I quicken my step until I've reached the common room. Most of the Slytherins are gone, probably enjoying their day. My friends don't notice me. "Hey," I whisper to draw their attention. Once they've all turned around, I drop to my knees and take the second-years into my arms. For a moment, they are all frozen. Then, suddenly, I feel their arms fold around me as well. I stay like that for a few moments before I stand and hug the Greengrass sisters.

"What's wrong, Charlotte?" they ask me when we break apart.

"I just…I need you to know…I love you all. You're the brothers and sisters that I have never had," I say. "I just…I want you to know that…I would never do anything to harm you." They are all equally confused. I smile. "Now that we've gotten the sappy stuff out of the way, why don't we go sit down or something?"

We all migrate to the fireplace and sit in the sofas and the chairs. "Why are you here so soon?" Emma asks. "I thought you were usually stuck with the Minister until late Sunday night."

"I can't say why they let me go," I answer. "But I will probably be arriving sooner from now on." And I don't want to think about _why_ I will be returning sooner from now on.

"Are you okay though?" Christopher asks.

I nod. "Of course I am."

"And you would tell us if you weren't?" Jacob asks.

"Perhaps, depending on why I wouldn't be," I reply.

"But what reasons would you have for not being?" Jacob questions.

I keep my eyes locked on his. "Well, there are reasons for why I might not be, but I most likely will be. There are some things that will make me not be, and if I am not, I will probably tell you. But if I cannot tell you, you must believe that I will be eventually."

"I understand that you will be eventually, but you have to trust us to help you get back to being. We want to help you." Jacob smiles at me.

"But –"

"Shut up!" Christopher says. "The two of you – oh my God – I swear – the two of you –"

"– were trying to confuse us, weren't you?" Julia finishes for him

Jacob and I begin laughing. "All right, all right," I say. "Did it work?"

Christopher groans, "Yes, it worked! My brain hurts! Don't talk like that anymore!"

"How were we talking?" I ask innocently.

"We don't know!" Emma says. "That's why you've got to stop!"

Jacob shakes his head at her. "Oh no, dear Emma, our odd talking has only just begun!"

"You are all so weird," I comment quietly.

"I'm offended," Julia announces dryly.

I smile at her. "No, you're not. I know you better than that."

"But seriously, Charlotte, you are okay, right?" Daphne asks.

This time, I have to plaster on my smile. They can't know how torn I am inside. "Yes."

I stay with my friends in the common room for a few hours, talking about Christmas and all the fun I will have, discussing the Carrows and how the D.A. is rising stronger than ever, laughing about the lack of patience of Emma and Christopher and Julia when it comes to me and Jacob being obnoxious, pondering what life could be like if Voldemort is indeed destroyed by Harry.

I feel like part of a family. Jacob and I are the annoying siblings, Christopher and Emma and Julia are the siblings who get irritated easily, and Daphne and Astoria are the parents who are just trying to keep the peace. And it feels amazing to not stress about peace. It is comforting to not be the one in charge, not be the one who has to be the "adult" of the group.

We only leave the Slytherin Dungeon when it is time for dinner. I see McGonagall at the staff table. She smiles at me encouragingly, and I know that I will have to tell her later about Voldemort's deal with me. She will offer me more sympathy than Severus; though, I do also enjoy the strength he gives me. To get through this, I suppose need both of them: Her sympathy and his strength.

* * *

This is the last day at Hogwarts before it is time to leave for the Christmas holidays. And yet the Carrows are still questioning me. I really need to be getting things ready, but no. It seems that they do not fear interrogating me as long as they do not attack me.

They have me trapped in Alecto's office.

The questions are still about my family, and they're still repetitive. It's the same thing over and over and over.

"When you were in the orphanage, how many times did Abigail have to protect you from the other orphans?" Alecto asks.

I sigh. This is the third time I have been asked this very question in the past hour of my interrogation. "I don't know," I say. "It happened a lot."

"Do you know the names of those who attacked you?" Amycus asks.

"I can't remember. Why does it matter?"

"We believe someone was trying to track you down and kill you," Alecto says.

I roll my eyes. I know this isn't what happened. Who would send children to attack children? The Carrows are legitimately grabbing straws at this point. They want me to break and let slip who I am, but I won't do that.

For a few days now, I've wanted to try this, but I have stopped myself. My patience for these two has run out, and I am not trying to gain any more. So this is my chance to try something that I firmly believe to be risky. I stand up and walk towards the door. "Where do you think you're going?" Amycus growls.

I look back at him. "Well, I'm leaving. What does it look like?"

"Did we give you permission to leave?" Alecto asks.

I smile. "No." Then I open the door. Before I can take a step out, the door is slammed shut. I huff. "You can't keep me here."

"You can't leave," Alecto says.

"Why not?" I reply. "The last time I checked, you have no authority to keep me here."

"I believe we do," Amycus says.

"Would you like for me to 'let slip' to the Dark Lord that you are interrogating me on behalf of someone in the Inner Circle?" I ask. "After everything you've done, I don't believe he will be too pleased with you if he finds out."

They look between each other. The door creaks open behind me, and I spin on my heel to leave the room.

I go to McGonagall's office and enter without knocking. "Professor," I greet her quietly.

She's grading some of the essays for Transfiguration. "Evening, Charlotte. I'm surprised you are not getting ready for the Christmas holidays," she says.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk about," I reply. This will be the first time I have spoken of my fears aloud. McGonagall sets her quill aside and nods for me to begin. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to measure up to the expectations Christopher's family probably has for me by now."

"That's such a petty thing to worry about, Charlotte," McGonagall says kindly. "You mean a lot to that little boy. I don't think his family will expect you to be perfect."

"What if they expect me to be like Helena? What if they want me to like some sort of replacement? Christopher claims be as his sister. What if his younger sisters expect me to be Helena?"

"I don't believe they will," she says. "The young ones might take to you rather quickly, but I don't think they'll want you to actually replace her. There are some things that cannot be replaced. And I doubt anyone would ever try replacing a child."

I smile. It still makes me nervous that might want me to take Helena's place.

* * *

**How will the holidays go, do you think?**

**Will the interrogations be over now, or do you think the Carrows will try again?**

**Are Crabbe, Pansy, and Goyle done now?**

**Review!**


	102. Chapter 102

**Lalitya: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry your response wasn't on the last chapter. I had already updated… Don't worry about not reviewing a lot. It's no big deal:) I like Rodolphus, but I don't know if he'll get to live or not:( I would love to be an author. Um, I'm thinking it will be around 110 chapters, but I think that's undershooting. **

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! I'm looking forward to introducing his family! It might or might not Rodolphus ;) I'll have her interact with Astoria more. Most of their talking is kind of "off screen" Like when she's delivering the letters from Draco and all. But I'll ave them talk more**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I think they want to meet the girl who has been helping Christopher. They'll try again, but because of her threat, they'll take it easier. Someone else will have to tell the three of them if Charlotte expects them to leave her alone. They won't take the Carrows at their word**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! They'll only really quit if someone other than the Carrows tells them to.**

**Hufflepuff's Princess: Thanks for reviewing! If the Carrows want to continue questioning her, they'll have to be more careful. While Crabbe and Goyle and Pansy are cowards, they do hate Charlotte. They might risk it**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I'll talk briefly about Ted Tonks later, but I won't talk too much about him. I'll also talk about the Godric's Hollow incident**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! They won't be done unless someone more powerful than the Carrows tell them to. You'll just have to wait and see how Christmas goes. It'll take up a few chapters.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Some readers were asking for fluff. Most of that will happen over the holidays lol. Unless someone more important than the Carrows tells them to stop, they probably won't. **

**Araym1: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Don't apologize for poor wording. Different languages (especially English) can be difficult to pick up.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! For the most part, the holidays will be good because some of the readers wanted fluff. What better time to put that than Christmas? The Carrows will try to, but they will have to be much more careful. If they think she's important, and they hear that from someone more important than the Carrows, they'll certainly back off. I'm aiming for 110 chapters, but I think it will end up being a few more. As for a sequel, I don't think one will be possible, to be honest.**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! I'm excited about the holidays:) It's okay if you can't review every time. Honestly, I don't keep track lol. But I do enjoy reviews:)**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss: Thanks for reviewing! I don't like any of those either lol. But I do love Charlotte and Severus **

**sua chiwowa: Thanks for reviewing! Your second time? Really? What made you want to read it again? I won't go into detail right now, but your question is answered in Chapter 103 and is more explained in Chapter 104**

**MiraclesHappen94: Thanks for the follow and the review! Well, thanks for reviewing this time lol. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I have the same dilemma you have. I want her to be with Fred, but I also want her to conceive a child. The idea just kind of came to me.**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I love putting in twists and turns to keep people guessing :) You don't sound stalkerish lol. I'm American, born and raised in Georgia. I think I've been reading too many books and watching too many movies, because recently I've found myself saying a lot of things that aren't really American lol**

* * *

**CHAPTER 102**

Hidden with the Disillusionment Charm, I follow Christopher and the others out of the castle and down to the Hogwarts Express. I can't risk the Carrows seeing me. During our quick goodbye early this morning, Severus suggested that I use the charm to sneak around. I stay silent until the train leaves the castle far behind us.

I take the charm off myself. "I hate being quiet that long," I say.

"We know you do," Jacob comments.

"Shut up." I take the Disillusionment Charm off my rucksack and my bag from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. "I have something for the four of you." I bring out the gifts for Julia, Jacob, and Emma. "I got you each two, because I should have done something last year but didn't." I look over at Christopher. "You'll have to wait for yours until Christmas Day."

"We can't take anything," Emma says. "Spending time with you is enough."

I smile at her kindness. "Well, I've already paid for it now," I reply. "I can't take it back. So, either you can take it, or I can find some random kid to give it to. I'd prefer you have it." I hand over the gifts. "Don't open them until Christmas though."

They all nod their agreement.

"Is this your first Christmas away from Hogwarts?" Julia asks.

They still think I was trapped at the castle last year. I can't help but feel slightly guilty for lying to them. "Yes," I lie again, "and I am extremely excited. It feels good to be away from the Carrows and Snape. I can finally breathe easily."

But in all honesty, part of me wishes I was back at Hogwarts with Severus. Sure, I'm glad to be with Christopher and his family, but I'm torn in half. I want to be with the Collins family, but I also want to be with Severus. The holidays are probably a tough time for him, as they are for me.

But this is something I have to do.

I listen silently to the chatter around me until the train comes to a stop. My heartbeat quickens. "Come on, Charlotte," Christopher says. I look up. The second-years are all on their feet. "Are you coming or what?" I stand and follow Christopher out of the Hogwarts Express. We go toward a man and a young girl.

The man looks just like Christopher. He's tall with the same black hair and blue eyes as his son. He has a strong jaw and a clean-shaven face. He smiles at the two of us. Christopher has his smile. The little girl beside him has blond hair and chocolate brown eyes. She grins nervously, and I can see that she has the same dimples as her brother.

Before we even reach them, Mr. Collins comes forward and takes Christopher into his arms. "How's my boy been, huh?" he asks him. The man's voice is deep and carries a comforting feel to it.

"Swell, Dad," Christopher answers. They pull apart. "This is Charlotte Rodgers."

Mr. Collins offers me his hand as Christopher moves to hug his sister. "Gideon Collins," he greets me. "It's honor to meet you; Christopher speaks very highly of you." He puts his hand on his daughter's shoulder. "This is Andrea."

The little girl timidly smiles at me. "It's nice to meet you," she says quietly.

"It's nice to meet you too," I reply.

"Here," Mr. Collins says, reaching for my bag, "let me take that for you."

"It's fine, sir," I say.

"I insist." I let him take my bag, and he reaches for Christopher's as well. We follow him out of the train station and to a black car. Mr. Collins loads our bags into the trunk. Christopher and I take the backseat and let Andrea sit in the front with her father. "Christopher tells us you're quite the practitioner of Transfiguration."

"I like to think I am," I say.

"Don't be modest, Charlotte," Christopher interjects. "She's amazing. She's helped me reach the top of my class."

"You could have done it without my help," I say. "You had it in you."

Mr. Collins smiles. "Well, his mother and I appreciate you helping him."

"Where is Mum?" Christopher then asks.

"At the house with Brooke and Paige," Mr. Collins says. "Those are our other daughters, Charlotte."

"They're four and six," Christopher adds. "They're a little annoying."

"Christopher," Mr. Collins says sternly.

The boy's face turns red. "Sorry."

It's a little uncomfortable after that, but I try my best to block it out.

Sooner than I realize, we are pulling into a driveway that is surrounded by trees. We're on this long driveway a while before we reach the Collins' home. We drive around to the back of the house. Here, there is a small lake, not near as large as the one at Malfoy Manor but big enough. Trees hide the house and its lake. The house itself is wooden and glass, three stories tall. The wall facing the lake is almost all glass. The bottom floor is against the hillside, and the two upper layers rise above the ground. The middle floor has a large porch wrapping around it.

I lean over to Christopher and whisper, "You live here?"

He smiles and nods.

Mr. Collins stops the car, and we all climb out. After gathering up our bags, he leads up the back steps to the porch on the second floor. I almost lose my breath when I enter the house. The whole place is open. The living room would lead right into the kitchen if not for the counter designed to separate them. There is a staircase leading to the top floor, which is over the kitchen. From the living room, all of the doors on that floor can be seen.

Two young light brown-headed girls come running down the steps. "Daddy!" they both say. "Chris!" They run to their family while I stand awkwardly behind them.

The smaller of the two looks at me for a few moments with big hazel eyes. She smiles widely then runs to the kitchen. From where I stand, I can hear her say, "Mum! Helena is home!" followed by shattering glass.

My face heats up instantly. "I…"

Mr. Collins's face becomes apologetic. "I'm so sorry," he says quietly. "Christopher, why don't you take her to her room?"

Christopher nods. Under the staircase there is a door. Christopher opens it and leads me into the basement. "Helena and I use to stay down here. Brooke, Andrea, and Paige are on the top floor, and Mum and Dad are on the main floor."

The basement is cream-colored with wood floors. There is a black rug with gray sofas facing the lake and a table with four chairs against the back wall and a bookshelf full of books. Five doors are down here, two of which are closed. "This is my room," he announces, showing me one of them. His room is blue, the walls adorned with Quidditch posters. I never knew he was a Quidditch fan. We move on. "This is the bathroom you can use." Then he leads me to the last open door. "This is your room for your stay." It's white and brown. I smile at it. I like it.

"And the two closed doors?" I whisper. He takes me by the hand and walks over to them.

"This was Helena's room," he says softly.

"You don't have –" He pushes the door open. The bed is purple, the walls white, the recliner black. The bed faces the window overlooking the lake. I step away and close the door.

"We cleaned it out, but couldn't bring ourselves to empty it completely," he says quietly. He looks to the other door. "That's just a closet." He starts walking toward the steps. "Come on."

I follow him back up the stairs. We slowly walk to the kitchen. "Charlotte," Mr. Collins says kindly, more as a way to allow his wife to know that I'm in the room than anything else.

Mrs. Collins turns around and stops for a moment. She has blond hair like Andrea and hazel eyes like her youngest. "Charlotte," she greets me. "Trista Collins – it's a pleasure to meet you. Christopher only has good things to say about you."

I shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you too."

She clears her throat. "I…I am so sorry about Brooke. She doesn't fully understand."

"No, no," I quickly say. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"For what?" I open my mouth to reply, but I have no idea what to say. Mrs. Collins smiles kindly. "You can't control what you look like."

Except I can… But I don't say this.

"Brooke, Paige," she calls. The two young children come over. Paige has chocolate eyes like Andrea. "This is Charlotte, a friend of Christopher."

"Hi," they both say.

"Hello," I reply.

"Did Christopher show you to your room?" Mrs. Collins asks.

"Yes, and you have a lovely home," I say.

She smiles at me again then turns to her children. "Why don't you go get washed up for dinner?"

They all leave the room. I uncertainly follow Mrs. Collins into the kitchen. "Do you need help?" I ask quietly.

"If you'd like, you can set the table." She points the cabinet, "The plates and everything are in there."

I nod and begin setting the table. "Thanks for allowing me to come over," I say.

"You're very welcome. You mean a lot to Christopher; therefore you mean a lot to us as well," she says.

"Well, he means a lot to me too," I reply. "I've been on my own most of my life, not having much of a family. He, Julia, Jacob, and Emma – they're family to me. I don't know what I would do without them."

"What happened to your family?" she asks.

"I was born out of wedlock," I begin. Why do I feel so guilty lying to her about this? A tug in my gut tells me to avoid her question, but I have to continue now that I've started. "There was a woman who I believed to be my mum – I learned a few weeks ago that this was not the truth. But she was a mum to me at the time. I was ten, and a Death Eater killed her. Then I was taken in by the man who saved me from the same fate.

"I was placed in Durmstrang until Igor Karkaroff when missing. Al, the man who saved me, died a year after. Karkaroff let me stay at Durmstrang. When he went missing, I came to Hogwarts with permission from Dumbledore. I've been on my own Al died. I met Christopher and the others last year."

I look up. Mrs. Collins is looking at me with such sympathy I want to cry. But I'm not going to. "Charlotte," she says quietly.

I shrug it off. "I've come to terms with it, Mrs. Collins. Things could be worse, I suppose. I mean, I have great friends and adopted siblings, I have a mother figure, people that care about me. I consider myself wildly blessed compared to some."

She finishes up her cooking. "How do you stay so positive?" she asks. "You've been to hell and back."

"Honestly, it's been a rough road. I don't have a home really, so I live in Muggle homes when they're away. For quite a few years, I was bitter. But now, it's routine. It's easy. And when it all becomes overwhelming, I go to places where I know I can stay for a while."

"Like where?" The food begins moving itself to the table.

"With Minerva McGonagall at Hogwarts," I answer.

"The Transfiguration professor?"

"The very same," I say. "She kind of took me under her wing when we first met. She knows about my circumstance and lets me go to Hogwarts some over the summer holiday."

"Is she the one who taught you Transfiguration so well?

I smile. "I actually taught myself during my years of solitude. Transfiguration and Charms were really the only things I focused on. I worked a little on Defense Against the Dark Arts, but I was more concerned with learning how to escape than to defend myself." I pause. What have I just done?

"Escape?" she repeats softly.

I clear my throat. "Well, yeah," I scramble. "Sometimes I would be attacked by animals or whatever…Muggle police. I had to know how to escape."

She nods skeptically.

"Anyways," I push on, "thank you for letting me come here. It means a great deal."

The rest of the Collins family arrives seconds after that. "Here, Charlotte," Christopher says as he takes a seat at the oak table, "you can sit beside me."

I smile and go to chair at the table and sit down. "Thanks."

Brooke comes over and takes the other seat beside me. Mr. Collins sits at the head of the table while Andrea and Paige and Mrs. Collins fill in the other side. I can't help but think, when we all begin eating, that I've never had an actual family meal. I ate with the Weasleys a few times, but Fred, George, and I were usually late so it was just the three of us. I do my best to keep my face neutral, but this makes me wish I had an actual family.

I wish I had memories like this.

"Is Hogwarts as great as Chris makes it seem?" Andrea asks.

"I like it," I reply. "It's a home-away-from-home."

"But aren't there people at the school now," Mr. Collins says, "people who serve You-Know-Who?"

Well, this isn't a good subject for me to get into... "Yes, sir. There are a few of them, but they try to keep that hidden."

"Chris says there's three of them," Andrea interjects.

I nod. "Unofficially there are three."

"And officially?" Mrs. Collins asks.

"Two, the Carrows," I answer. Mr. and Mrs. Collins look uneasy, and I quickly add, "Hogwarts is still one of the safest places Christopher could be. Snape – the headmaster – won't let things go too far."

"Severus Snape?" Mr. Collins asks. "You think he'll go out of his way to keep the students safe?" There is no covering the skepticism in his voice.

"You sound like you know him," I comment.

"I was at Hogwarts when he was there," Mr. Collins replies. "We didn't run in the same circle, me being in Ravenclaw rather than Slytherin, but I knew him." Why hasn't Severus told me this?

"You went to Hogwarts?" I ask.

"Trista and I both did," the man says. "That's why we wanted to teach our children ourselves. While it was a good place to learn magic, it was dangerous. Trista was attacked a few times in our school days. And by Slytherins, no less."

"You should have seen them when I came home that first Christmas, Charlotte," Christopher laughs. "They were crazy with worry."

"For good reason," Mrs. Collins comments. "Slytherin House was always doing dangerous things during our time there."

"What House were you in?" I can't help but ask her.

"Hufflepuff," she answers.

I don't know why this makes me so happy. "A Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff had a Slytherin?"

"Stranger things have happened," Mrs. Collins says.

"I want to go to Hogwarts too!" Andrea announces. "When am I allowed to go?"

"When you're eleven," Christopher answers.

Brooke moans quietly. "But that means I have a really long time…"

"What House do you want to be in, Andrea?" Christopher asks.

She pauses, obviously uncomfortable with being put on the spot. "I…I don't know…"

"I think she should go in Slytherin with you, Christopher, that way you can watch over like a big brother," Mr. Collins says.

Christopher's fork drops to his plate. He shakes his head. "Don't even joke like that, Dad. Don't even joke like that."

Mr. Collins smiles. "I was just saying, son."

"You're staying for Christmas, right?" Paige asks me.

"Yeah," I answer. "I'll have to leave this Friday night though."

"Will you come back?" she replies.

I sigh quietly. "I don't think I'll be able to. I'll have to go back to Hogwarts."

The thought saddens me. If not for Voldemort, I would be able to stay here with the Collins family. Once again, my bitterness towards the Dark Lord spikes.

* * *

**I think it was a fairly good beginning to the holidays. What do you think?**

**That poor little girl though, the one who thought Charlotte was Helena. Awkward...**

**If you can remember, Mrs. Collins is a Muggle-born. How do you think she is still around rather than in hiding?**

**Review!**


	103. Chapter 103

**MiraclesHappen94: Thanks for reviewing! The question is answered in this chapter:) I'm happy there's more too. I have a lot of different ways that the story could go. But I agree that it's hard when they both die:(**

**silent reader: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're into the story! You'll see what I meant by that:) Nah, she's not Helena's twin. She is legitimately the daughter of Bellatrix and Rodolphus.**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! That's just how Charlotte chose to look. She was in the orphanage, you know, so she couldn't look all weird like Tonks and Teddy. The way she looks is her natural look.**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! You know how much I enjoy throwing in a plot twist:) Yeah, it was Brooke; she's the youngest. They all see Helena too but know that it's not really her. The way she has stayed out of hiding is answered in this chapter…but I have to say that it leads to more questions about an unrelated topic lol. Why are you solidifying your theory? Was there a certain reason?**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! There will certainly be a twist:) Helena was Christopher's older sister, but she was killed by a Death Eater.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'll answer it in this chapter. It made me jealous too, because we never really had that while I was growing up either.**

**Afanofyours: Thanks for reviewing! I try to update every day, but unfortunately school started and I have less time to write. All of you have caught up to me:( She doesn't feel bad about being a Metamorphmagus; she just doesn't tell many people. It's one of those things she keeps quiet.**

**Nargles rock: Thanks for reviewing! That question is answered in this chapter, but you had a good thought lol**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! I hadn't thought about having her see a picture of Helena, but that is actually a really good idea. Thanks:) I'll explain why she hasn't gone into hiding during this chapter. Have fun on your holiday!**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't review every chapter! I'll explain how Mrs. Collins is still in this chapter:)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I'll explain how Mrs. Collins is not in hiding. I want the holidays to be good for Charlotte, since she doesn't get that often.**

**Sydney joy: Thanks for reviewing! He'll come back, but I can't say when or how…**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for the favorite and the review! I don't think I would feel guilty as much as I would still feel awkward lol. I do feel bad for her though, since she won't be able to stay with them like she wants. Things hardly ever work out for her:(**

* * *

**CHAPTER 103**

"Come with me," Paige says after dinner, taking my hand to lead me from the room.

"Let me help your mum clean up first," I try.

"Gideon can help me, Charlotte," Mrs. Collins interjects.

"Are you sure?"

She nods.

I let Paige lead me from the kitchen. Brooke and Andrea follow us closely while Christopher runs ahead. My guess is he already knows what's going on. The three girls usher me up the stairs to the top floor. "This is my room!" Paige rejoices as she pushes open one of the three doors up here. A giant, white stuffed dog rests on lime green bed. Paige runs forward and grabs it. "His name is Toto. Helena gave him to me." She gingerly places it back on the bed.

I'm in a heartbroken daze as the other two little girls show me their rooms as well. Helena had been such a loving sister, and now she's gone. Voldemort has ruined more than just the lives of a few people. His cruelty has no boundaries.

Once the three of them have finished showing off their rooms, we go back to the living room. "Mum!" Brooke says. "Can Charlotte play Gobstones with me?"

Mrs. Collins looks at me then back at her daughter. "If she wants to."

"She doesn't want to play that, Brooke," Christopher announces.

"She might!" Brooke argues.

I smile at Christopher to let him know that it's okay. Then I sit down on the floor with Brooke and start playing a game that I have never seen before and will probably not enjoy.

Off to the side, Christopher and Andrea play a game of Exploding Snap while Paige talks to Mr. Collins on the sofa.

Nearly an hour later, after three grueling games of Gobstones with Brooke (I still don't know what I'm doing exactly), Mrs. Collins calls us back into the kitchen for dessert. This is probably one of the greatest things about being with a family for the holidays: I get good meals. I can't help but think about how this is the type of family I want to have one day.

I smile as I eat the custard Mrs. Collins made for us.

I can just imagine sitting at a table with Fred and Archie as well as another son and a daughter. Fred would show off the new jokes he and George create for the shop. I know Fred would be an amazing father. And I think, with enough practice, I could be a good mother. I might not be as good as Mrs. Weasley or Mrs. Collins (she seems like a good mother), but I think I could be good enough.

Fred and I could have the three children that we talked about in that daydream. We could live in Hogsmeade, close to Zonko's Joke Shop, which will a branch of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes like the twins wanted. If the shop is doing as well then as it is now, I could be the stay-at-home mum that I mentioned to Severus if being an Obliviator doesn't work.

A chilling thought hits me. What if I _do _get pregnant with Severus's child? How would Fred react to that? Would he want to be a family? Of course not…why would he ever want to raise Severus Snape's child as his own? That child would never have a normal life. It would be a scandal for me to give birth to the child of Severus Snape, headmaster of Hogwarts. And I don't believe I'd be able to take his child away from him to cover up my indiscretions.

I clear my throat. I don't want to think about that. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. "That was amazing, Mrs. Collins," I say, taking my almost-spotless plate to the sink.

"Thank you, Charlotte," she replies.

Christopher collects the plates from his younger sisters. We all drift back into the living room. "If you don't mind me asking," I say, "where do you work?"

Mr. Collins pulls Brooke into his lap. "I own a shop in Diagon Alley – Twilfitt and Tattings. Trista stays home with the kids."

I can't help but feel envious of her. "You own Twilfitt and Tattings?" I ask.

"You've been there?"

"A few times," I answer, making sure not to mention how I stole from it rather than buying from it.

"What do your parents do?" he asks. "Christopher's never said."

Mrs. Collins quickly hits his leg as if to make him stop talking. I just smile. "Well, my mum was killed when I was ten," I don't know why I persist to refer to Mrs. Stoico as my mum. It's obvious that she really wasn't. She was working for the Dark Lord.

"Killed?" he asks, only to be hit by his wife again.

I nod. "A Death Eater," I say. "Another man stepped in to protect me after my mother... He took me in after avenging her, but he died of old age a couple years later. I've essentially been on my own since then."

"What about your father?" he asks.

"Gideon," Mrs. Collins says quietly but authoritatively, "stop interrogating the poor girl."

"It's fine," I assure her. I look back at Mr. Collins. "I never knew him."

"Charlotte's a bastard," Christopher laughs.

"Christopher!" his father quickly chastises him.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"So you've been on your own since you were – what? – around thirteen?" Mr. Collins asks.

"Yes, sir, pretty much," I answer. "I stayed at Durmstrang for a while, but in '95 I came to Hogwarts with permission from Dumbledore."

"What was he like?" Andrea asks. "Dumbledore, I mean."

I don't know where to begin describing Dumbledore. "He was a great wizard, cared about all the students. He was a genius, a really nice man."

"How well did you know him?" Mrs. Collins questions.

"Oh, well, I wouldn't say I knew him really well, but I kind of knew him. Um…that sounded odd…" I think for a moment. "I wasn't close to him, but he did teach me in a few private lessons."

"I'm tired," Brooke mumbles into Mr. Collins's chest. He stands up with his daughter in his arms. Mrs. Collins stands as well and motions for the other two girls to go with her. They say goodnight to me and Christopher then go up the stairs.

"I'm sorry about all their questions," Christopher says quietly.

I smile at him. "I don't mind. I'm used to it." I glance up at the balcony, which overlooking the living room, where the girls' rooms are. Mr. and Mrs. Collins are in one of the rooms. "Do they always go to bed this early?"

"Yeah, the three of them do, which is why they're all upstairs together. Helena and I were downstairs because we're older and could stay up later."

"Ah," I reply.

Christopher's parents come back down a few minutes later. "You said you knew Snape?" I ask them.

"We didn't get along that well," Mr. Collins laughs. "I was friends with many Muggle-borns, Trista being one of them. That was frowned upon by Slytherins."

"Which is why we were all speechless when Julia was placed in Slytherin," Mrs. Collins adds.

Christopher grins mischievously. "You should have heard what Dad said when I told him Snape was the Head of Slytherin House last year. I heard some choice words that day."

"What exactly did you say to him?" Mrs. Collins asks her husband.

Mr. Collins reaches across and playfully pushes Christopher over on the sofa. "That was supposed to be our secret!" The boy just giggles to himself. His father looks back at me. "Snape and I never got along. He called Trista a 'Mudblood' on many occasions."

"Let's be fair, Gideon," Mrs. Collins replies, "he called everyone of my blood status that. It wasn't just me. Besides, he stopped using that word altogether after our fifth year."

"His friends almost killed you," her husband argues.

"That was twenty plus years ago, Gideon," she counters.

Christopher leans over and whispers, "Recently they've been arguing about stuff like this. I don't know why exactly."

"But it wasn't 'twenty plus years ago' that his _friends_ –"

"Don't," she hisses. Without another word, she stands and goes to the kitchen. A moment later she returns with four bottles of butterbeer and gives one to each of us. "He wasn't involved in that, and you know it."

I take a swig of my butterbeer. It's silent in the room for a moment. I take this opportunity to ask, "So, you knew the James Potter and his group of friends and Lily Evans as well?"

"The Marauders," Mr. Collins says. "That's what James and his friends called themselves. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew – the troublemakers of Hogwarts." He smiles. "Sometimes they could be obnoxious, but they always kept the school year lively. If anyone could start violent rows with the Slytherins, it was the Marauders."

"So you were friends?" I ask.

"Not friends," Mrs. Collins replies, "just acquaintances."

"And Lily Evans?" I continue, not really knowing why I am so curious about it.

"Sweet girl," Mrs. Collins answers. "It's a shame what happened to her."

"She and Snape were friends for a while," Mr. Collins adds. "Imagine that: A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. It was completely unorthodox."

"But it was nice," his wife comments.

"Until he ruined it by calling her a 'Mudblood.' It just goes to show you that Slytherins and Gryffindors will never get along."

"Charlotte dated a Gryffindor," Christopher says, "and she's a Slytherin." My mouth drops open, and I look over at him, completely speechless. "What? It was nice too."

"You…you didn't know me then," I laugh.

"I hear stories," he replies.

"What was his name?" Mrs. Collins asks.

Heat fills my face. "Um…Fred…Fred Weasley."

"I've met him," the man replies. "He and his brother have a shop in Diagon Alley, yes?"

I nod. I feel awkward talking about this. "You're a Muggle-born, aren't you, Mrs. Collins?" I ask.

"My whole life," she says with a smile.

"How have you not had to go into hiding? The father of a good friend of mine had to go into hiding because of the Muggle-born Registration thing," I continue.

"Who?" Mr. Collins answers.

"Ted Tonks."

Mrs. Collins looks away. "They did come searching for me, but the two that came looked the other way. They knew I was hiding in the lake with the Bubble-Head Charm, but they didn't take me back to the Ministry."

"Why…why would they do that?" I whisper.

"It was their way of making amends," Mr. Collins says quietly. "Had it been just one of them, I would have killed him. But they both came, the brothers…my two cousins."

"Amends?" I ask softly.

"They realized their mistake," he says. "They realized Helena wasn't who they thought she was. They weren't going to take my wife as well."

I open my mouth, but I don't know what to say. I don't understand what's going on, but I don't want to ask him more questions now that Helena is in the mix. Only after Mr. Collins begins drinking his butterbeer do I feel I am able to as well. And this gives me a few moments to gather my thoughts.

But Mr. Collins continues, "My cousins killed her – Helena. Then they came back to make sure Trista was not taken, not after what they did." He pauses. "Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange…I owe them my wife's life, but they killed my daughter."

The butterbeer goes down my windpipe during my gasp at this new information. I begin coughing, unable to breathe. My father and my uncle killed Helena Collins, killed the sister of one of my best friends. My voice is hoarse when I struggle to say, "They're your cousins?"

"You know them?" he asks.

"I…um…" how can I tell them that I am the daughter of the man who killed their daughter? That's easy, I can't.

"She probably knows their names from the list of Death Eaters who escaped Azkaban," Mrs. Collins suggests. "You probably know Bellatrix Lestrange as well."

"You knew the Longbottoms, didn't you?" I ask. They nod. "I know their son, Neville. He's been leading a resistance against the Death Eaters at Hogwarts." I realize after I've said it how fast and possibly disrespectful that transition was. After all, they had been talking about Helena, their deceased daughter.

"Well, for obvious reasons, we don't claim the Lestranges," Mr. Collins says.

"I understand," I reply.

Silence falls between us. "Why don't the two of you head on downstairs?" Mrs. Collins suggests.

Christopher and I agree, say goodnight to his parents, and rush down to the basement. I don't know what to say or do. How am I supposed to remain normal when I know the dark truth about my father?

"You know the Lestranges, don't you, Charlotte?" the boy asks when we've closed the door behind us.

I sigh. "Yes, I've met them."

"But do you _know_ them?" he repeats.

"Remember how I said that I get questioned by You-Know-Who?" I ask. "They're typically around during that."

He seems skeptical, but does not continue asking about it. Christopher and I sit down in the sofas facing the large window. The moon is high in the sky, reflecting on the lake's surface. I look over to a large bookshelf. On top of it is a stuffed monkey with a book leaning against it. I'm drawn to it for some unknown reason and find myself going toward it. Before I can even touch it, Christopher's panicked voice says, "Don't touch that!" I freeze. He comes over and stands next to me. "Don't touch that," he's much calmer this time.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't realize –"

"Don't worry about." He smiles at the monkey. "His name is Captain Flint, like from _Treasure Planet_. Helena and I used to read it together. She got me the monkey a few years back."

"The two of you read Muggle books rather than those such as _The Tales of Beedle and the Bard_?" I ask.

"Mum grew up with the Muggle classics, so that's what we read together. Besides, it kept us connected to the Muggle world, it felt like. There were certain books Helena read with each of us. Brooke was the _Alice in Wonderland_ books. Paige was _Oz_. Andrea _The Jungle Book_. I was _Treasure Planet_."

"So that explains the name of Paige's stuffed dog," I say.

He smiles. "Yeah, it was Helena who bought it and gave it to her. She did the same for all of us, and it was sort of our thing to name it after a character in the book." He looks back at the rest of the books that are on the shelves. "Mum typically reads to the others, but Helena and I were working our way through all of these." His voice becomes quiet. "We never finished."

Christopher steps away from the bookshelf and sits back down. "I think that's one of the things I regret the most. We never finished reading all of them." I try to say something, but he continues. "She showed me how to create light from the tip of my wand. Well, it was my dad's wand at the time, but still."

"Like _Lumos_?" I ask.

"Not exactly," he says. "Watch." He waves his wand. "_T__rabes __l__ucis_, blue. A continuous beam of blue light shoots out of the tip of his wand. "She worked forever on it until she got it right."

"She came up with that?"

"Yeah, try it."

I point my wand at the wall. "_Trabes lucis_." My beam is white.

"Say a color, any color."

"Green." The beam turns green. "How did she do that?" I ask him.

"I have no idea," he says. "We used to play a game. She would rearrange some of the furniture, and we would stay up for hours attacking each other with our lights. It was a game of honor, of course, because we had to be truthful about whether or not the light hit us. But we trusted each other. So it was fun."

I smile at him. "Did the others ever play this game too?"

He shakes his head. "They got upset when they lost. Besides, it has to be dark, and it was typically late when we played. So it was usually just us."

"It sounds like she was a great sister," I say quietly.

His smile is sad but a smile nonetheless. "Yeah. Yeah, she was a great sister." His eyes are watering. "I miss her, a lot, especially over the holidays."

I wrap my arm around him.

"You…you've lost people before, Charlotte. Does it ever get easier?" he whispers.

I take a deep breath. "Honestly, Christopher, it never gets 'easier.' But after a while, you realize that you don't mind carrying it around with you. You make room for it." I rustle his hair. "You'll be fine."

He plays with his wand. "So do you want to play or what?"

"What?"

"The game. Do you want to play it?"

"Are you sure, Christopher?" I reply. "I mean, it was yours and Helena's thing. I don't want to come between –"

"I'm positive," he says, standing to his feet. He takes my hand and pulls me up as well. "Transfigure some of the furniture into obstacles." I begin to do just that. "First rule, no going into the rooms. Second rule, no camping in a certain spot for more than a minute and a half. Third rule, be honest if the light hits you. And a tip for you, only make the light when you think you've found me; if not, you give away your position."

"Ready?" I ask him.

He starts running through the six-foot tall maze I created. A minute later, he shouts, "Go!"

* * *

**Rodolphus and Rabastan killed Helena. What do you think that means for Charlotte?**

**Charlotte is now aware of her relation to Christopher. Did you think they were related before this?**

**Will the rest of the holidays be hard for her now that she knows she is the daughter of the man who killed Helena?**

**And why would the two of them kill Helena?**

**Review!**


	104. Chapter 104

**Since I first began posting this story, I have been more than ten chapters ahead of all of you. But due to school starting and some other things that I don't want to talk about, you have caught up. This means that I do not have a chapter written to post in the morning. I'll have one by Saturday. I'll update then. I'm extremely sorry.**

* * *

**On a happier note, 800 reviews!**

* * *

**MiraclesHappen94: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I've been holding that information back for a while, just waiting for the right to tell it lol. I'll answer your question a bit later. Harry won't really return until much later, when the Battle of Hogwarts goes down and all.**

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for reviewing! I thought about the Trace, but after looking it up, I learned that when the family is an all-magical family (like the Collins), the Ministry relies on the parents to discipline the kids and make sure they're not doing underage magic because the parents' magic would set off the Trace as well. It would be impossible for the Ministry to know who performed the magic (like with Dobby and Harry in CoS). The Collins don't care that much, so they can play games and stuff.**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to throw a twist in the story. Later on I explain just why they killed Helena. It's kind of sad…**

**sanajoshi: Thanks for reviewing! That's fine! Don't worry if you can't review all the time! I'll explain what happened in a later chapter. I wanted fluff in the holidays, but I couldn't let everything be happy…that's not my style lol.**

**Slinkiee: Thanks for reviewing! I like suprises:)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Her story is kind of sad…more upsetting than sad but still…**

**wolfhound22: Thanks for reviewing! Just wait until Christopher finds out the truth:( Charlotte is a second or third cousin. I'm not entirely sure how that measured…**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte will probably feel a bit guilty. Christopher is considered a half-blood because his mum his Muggle-born. Mr. Collins is the only pure-blood in the family. Since he married a Muggle-born (like Andromeda did), they wouldn't accept him. I'll explain why they killed her in a few chapters. It will also further explain why Mrs. Collins was not taken. I don't believe Rodolphus is one who enjoys killing without a reason**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! I feel bad for her too. It seems that poor Charlotte just cannot catch a break… I can't wait for everything to come together:)**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! Yep, mystery solved: They're related! I'll explain why they did it a few chapters. I wanted Helena to be a good sister to her siblings, one who cared. I love plot twists. They're my favorite:) I hinted at it? I didn't realize lol**

**Lovewriting12: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I caught you off guard!**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I don't really want it to end either :) I'm glad you're enjoying it. I consider it an honor that you think about this story a lot**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! Yes, it is quite a plot twist! I'm excited that you were caught off guard! I love it when people fangirl over my story! I wanted to have Christopher and Helena play a game to show how close they were. The fact that he asked Charlotte to play was a big deal to him. **

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I would too! I think it's sad Rodolphus killed Helena, too. Yeah, they're distantly related. I wanted to show a bit of a bond between Christopher and Helena. I figured if they created a game and used to play it together all the time, it would be a good example. **

**silentreader: Thanks for reviewing! That's a good guess, and you're close. But technically no.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 104**

Why did I make this maze so difficult to navigate? I have not seen one sign of Christopher since we began this odd game.

Through the maze wall, I suddenly hear a footstep. Silently, I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself and slide to the back wall, sufficiently trapping myself in this little nook.

Another footstep creaks on the floor. Is that a silhouette? Surely not, it's too dark. Another footstep, but this one is going away from me. I've missed my chance. I take the Disillusionment Charm off myself and go toward the exit of my little camping spot. "_T__rabes __l__ucis__,_ green," I whisper. The beam shoots off, straight at the direction to which I believe Christopher is.

But it misses him. Either that or he's not there. My theory of him not there is proven false just a second later when I hear, "_T__rabes __l__ucis_, blue!" followed by a beam of blue light that hits me in the stomach. I sigh. "That's three times in a row, Charlotte," Christopher states. "You've seriously got to get better at this before Julia comes over. She'll eat you alive."

I wave my wand, and the lights come back on. Then the maze disappears, once again becoming the furniture. "When's she coming?" I ask.

"Tomorrow at some point," he answers. "She'll probably stay the night. She typically does."

"And she's good at this game?" I reply.

"She's bloody brilliant!" he exclaims. "Helena and I had to team up to beat her! She was born to play Beams."

"'Beams'?" I laugh. "That's an awful name."

He smiles. "I know. We were really tired, and it just slipped out when we were coming up with names. It kind of stuck after that." He glances at the stairs then looks back at me with a very conspiratorial look. "Do you want some custard?"

I look over at the stairs as well. "Don't your parents believe we're asleep right now?"

"That's the point." Without another word, he rushes toward the steps and starts up. "Are you coming or not?" I follow. He drops his voice to a whisper, "We have to be quiet. We don't want to get caught. "That happened once," he shudders. "Never again."

"I don't want you to get into trouble!" I argue.

"We won't unless one of the girls sees us. They throw a fit, and that doesn't go over well." He grins. "Use that charm on us. You know…the one to make us invisible."

"The Disillusionment Charm?"

"Yeah, that one."

I cast the charms, and we slowly open the door and leave the basement. We glance around before moving forward, going to the kitchen. I'm almost there when I hear a loud thud followed by a quiet moan. "Christopher," I whisper. "Are you okay?"

"Yep," he whispers, doing his best to bite back his pain.

We continue. Christopher dashes to get the custard while I get the bowls. The container almost seems to float in midair. The boy pours some into each bowl, and we rush to get out of there. I'm reaching for the handle when I hear yet another thud. But this time, Christopher does not moan in pain. This time, he groans in frustration. I turn to see his bowl of custard splattered all over the floor. "Are you –"

"Shut up," he hisses sarcastically. "I can't see me feet! It's not my fault!" I laugh, but it's short-lived. A light comes on in the far room. "That's them! Hurry!" I vanish the spilt dessert, summon the bowl to myself, and run down the stairs. The door closes behind me, and I assume Christopher followed me. When we get the basement, I take the charms off of us. "That was failed mission…"

I smile at him and put his spoon in my bowl. "We can share. It's no big deal."

Together we sit down at the table and eat the custard. Shortly after we finish, we head in our separate directions to go to sleep. I flop onto the bed. For hours I have been looking forward to this alone time. But with it comes this overwhelming guilt. How can I sleep in the same house, just a few feet away from Helena's room, a few feet away from the girl who was killed by my father?

How can I accept this family's hospitality without telling them the truth?

But it is impossible to tell them about me. It would be wrong on so many levels…or is it worse to keep this kind of information to myself? And how the bloody hell did I not know Christopher is related to me? Our fathers are cousins. My father killed his cousin's daughter. What was it that Mr. Collins had said? "They realized Helena wasn't who they thought she was." What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?

Who am I kidding? I know exactly what that means.

The door opens. I hear a faint, "Charlotte, can we talk?"

I sit up. "Of course."

Christopher walks into the room and closes the door behind him. Lumbering over, he sits down on the foot of the bed. "The holidays…the holidays are a really difficult time for me," he whispers. "Helena and I…we were close. I…I miss her more than…more than I let on around my parents. I don't want to make things more difficult for them, you know? If they knew…if they knew how badly I ache for her…I'm afraid it would make things much harder for them."

I pat the spot next to me. He slides up and sits criss-cross, facing me with a heart-wrenching sorrow in his eyes. "I loved her, Charlotte," he says. "I still love her. And it seems…it seems as if that only makes it worse. It only makes me miss her more."

I reach out and take his little hand. "It would be wrong for you not to miss her, Christopher," I reply. "She is your sister. You love her. Eventually, the pain will become normal, and you'll see that you don't mind it as much anymore."

He wipes a few stray tears. "During the holidays, I usual sleep in Andrea's room with her."

"If you'd like to go up there, I promise I won't mind."

"I don't want to leave you down here all by yourself," he replies. "That's rude."

I smile at him. "Christopher, honestly, it's okay."

"CouldIstayinhere?" it comes out as one word, as if he was unsure if he should ask or not.

I pull the sheets back. "Of course."

He snuggles up next to me, and I feel my heart cave for a second. This poor child…he's been through hell. "I love you, Charlotte," he mumbles, sleep already taking over.

"I love you too," I say. I close my eyes and will sleep to take over me as well.

* * *

"Has Christopher told you that Julia and her parents will be coming over today?" Mrs. Collins asks me that next morning during breakfast.

"He mentioned something about it last night," I answer. "Do you know when?"

"Before lunch," Mrs. Collins replies. "They wanted to meet you."

"You're the Guest of Honor!" Christopher laughs. "Everyone wants to meet you!"

I smile at him. I doubt they would all want to meet me if they knew that I have been keeping back the truth of why Rodolphus killed Helena. I feel like an evil person, almost as evil as Voldemort. I mean, I'm not better than he. We are both keeping back vital information for our own good. How can I claim to hate Voldemort when I am doing some of the same stuff?

"Charlotte," I hear. My eyes dart up at Christopher. He smiles at me. "Did you hear me?" I shake my head, embarrassed. "Do you want some more bacon?"

I glance at my plate. "No, I'm good, thanks."

"Are you feeling all right, Charlotte?" Mrs. Collins asks.

I need to pull myself together and stop stressing over Rodolphus. They do not need to know about my relation to him. I smile at her. "I'm sorry. I'm fine, just a little tired."

Mr. Collins suddenly chuckles. "Is that from the two of you sneaking around up here last night?" I glance over at Christopher whose face has gone pale. "It's no big deal. It's the Christmas holidays. Stay up as late as you want."

Mrs. Collins clears her throat. "Well, maybe not as late as you want…"

"Come on, Trista," Mr. Collins laughs, "it's two days until Christmas. Let them enjoy their time away from school."

She gives him a stern look. He returns it. For nearly a minute they stay like that. Then suddenly, they start laughing, though it's obvious they're fighting it. Mrs. Collins rolls her eyes and looks at me and Christopher. "Stay up as late as you want, just don't push yourselves too much."

"Thanks, Mum," Christopher replies.

After breakfast, we all migrate into the living room and sit in the sofas and chairs looking at the lake. Brooke and Paige begin play Gobstones, a game I firmly believe I will not be playing any time soon unless I am forced. Despite my desire not to, I cave into my curiosity. "Mr. Collins," I say. He looks up from his books. "You said something about being a cousin of Rodolphus Lestrange. How are you cousins, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I don't mind," he states. "My grandfather had a son and a daughter. His son, Rodolphus's father, was very much a follower of You-Know-Who. He was in the first group of Death Eaters back when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was at Hogwarts. But his sister, my mother, fell in love with a Ravenclaw. My father was a pureblood, as was my mother, but he did not agree with the Dark Arts. My mother was disowned, but she didn't care. Rodolphus and Rabastan tried recruiting me for the Death Eaters; after all I'm a still a pureblood. But I love Trista, so I wouldn't join. When we married, I was just as much disowned as my mother."

Mrs. Collins comes over, sits down beside her husband, takes his hand in hers, and smiles sweetly at him. He kisses her cheek. "And I am eternally grateful for you choosing me over them, Gideon," she says.

"There was never really a choice," he replies. "It was always going to be you."

"Guys," Christopher says. "Stop."

They both laugh at their son. "Are we embarrassing you, Christopher?" Mr. Collins laughs.

"A bit," he replies. "And I'm sure you're making Charlotte uncomfortable."

"Don't pin this on me," I say. I look back to Mr. and Mrs. Collins. "So when did the two of you first start dating?"

"Our fifth year," Mrs. Collins answers. "We were friends all throughout our schooling, but we spent a lot of time studying for the O.W.L.s together."

"And when I finally mustered up the courage to ask her," Mr. Collins says, "I hardly got the words out before she said yes."

She playfully hits his upper arm. "You make it sound like I was desperate to date you."

His face becomes stricken. "You're telling me you weren't?" his voice carries such a sound of shock and hurt that I almost want to believe him.

His wife smiles at him. "I wasn't desperate to have you ask me to date you, Gideon. I was desperate to see you man up to ask me."

"Hurtful," is his only response.

She twines her arm through his. "You know I love you."

"Seriously," Christopher states, "you're making Charlotte uncomfortable."

I don't say anything, but I can honestly say that his statement if far from correct. It is rare that I ever see a married couple still love each other. The only ones I can think of are my aunt and uncle – Ted and Andromeda Tonks – and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. But I haven't seen any them in a while. And sure, Narcissa and Lucius might love each other, but that is certainly not the type of relationship I would ever want. So seeing a happy couple gives me hope, hope that I might one day find that, hope that I might one day be that happy.

Before anyone says anything else, there is a knock at the door. Mrs. Collins smiles widely and rushes to the door. In walks Julia and who I assume are her parents. Her father has red hair and brown eyes. Her mother has brown hair and gray eyes. Mrs. Collins and Mrs. Mitchells forcibly wrap their arms around each other. "You'd think they hadn't seen each other in months," Mr. Collins comments. "It's only been three days."

I stand and hug Julia. "Mum, Dad," she calls to them. "This is Charlotte Rodgers."

"Ethan Mitchells," her father greets me.

"Jennifer," her mother introduces herself. I shake their hands. "It's an honor to meet you."

"Likewise," I say.

"Julia speaks of you often," Mr. Mitchells informs me.

I smile.

"We want to thank you for all that you do," Mrs. Mitchells says quietly.

"It's a pleasure to be able to help," I reply. "They're great fun to be around."

"We don't just mean you tutoring them," her mother answers. "I don't think there is any way we can thank you for keeping Julia safe during this whole Muggle-born Registration thing."

"I'd like to take credit for her protection, Mrs. Mitchells, but honestly, I haven't really done much. I mean –"

"It doesn't matter if you have never had to vouch for her," Mr. Mitchells interrupts. "Because of you, when she was questioned about her parentage, she did not panic."

I freeze. "She…she was questioned?" I look over at the girl. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You deal with so much as it is, Charlotte," Julia replies. "I didn't want to bother you with this as well."

"What did you tell them? Who questioned you?"

"I knew that I would have to lie them, but I didn't want you to stress over coming up with a lie for me, so I claimed to be Emma's cousin."

"How?"

"Both of her parents are half-bloods. It was easy enough to claim to be the daughter of her mother's brother, who is deceased. Her mum gladly confirmed my lie," she says.

I have to keep quiet about my new pride for her. "You're okay though? They've left you alone since then?"

She nods.

We move to the sofas and sit down. "Julia!" Christopher says. "Charlotte played Beams with me earlier. You've got to play tonight." He glances at me then back at the redhead. "She's awful."

I'm about to say something when Julia replies, "Don't listen to him, Charlotte. He loses to me ten times out of ten."

"That's so not true!" he laughs. "I call for a match! Right here, right now!" He stands to his feet. "No one tarnishes the reputation of Christopher Lewis Collins and gets away with it!"

Mr. Collins smiles at his only son. "You can play it later."

Christopher points at his father. "We will," he says firmly. Then he sits back down. "We will."

Mrs. Collins and Mrs. Mitchells both stand up. "We'll be back later," Christopher's mum announces.

"Where are you going?" her husband asks.

"Christmas is in two days, as you so kindly pointed out this morning," she replies. "There is still some last-minute shopping we must do." The women turn to their children. "Would any of you like to come with us?"

Brooke and Paige quickly jump on the offer. "We'll be back later," Mrs. Mitchells says.

"How much later?" Mr. Collins asks.

The two women look at each other for half a second before laughing. "We'll be back later," Mrs. Collins repeats. Then they say a quick goodbye and leave.

Mr. Collins shakes his head. "They'll come back carrying two sleeping little girls."

"It's that way every time, isn't it?" the other man chuckles.

Christopher's father waves his wand, and a chess set appears. The two men begin a game.

"Come on," Christopher says to the rest of us. Without waiting for an answer, he heads toward the basement. We – Julia, Andrea, and me – follow him.

"What are we doing?" I ask him.

"Getting out of there before the chess match starts," he answers. "They get into it."

Julia nods vigorously. "It's not a pretty sight…"

Christopher turns to me. "Charlotte, if you would be so kind as to set up a maze for me and Julia. It's about time she puts her skills to the test, wouldn't you agree?"

I begin setting up a course for the two of them to battle it out in a game of Beams. Once I have set up a maze that I believe will be difficult for the both of them, I sit down in a chair with Andrea. The chair rises so we can see the entire arena. "Julia, what's your color?" I ask.

"Red," she answers.

"Christopher?" I ask.

"Blue," is the response.

"Separate," I say. Christopher goes to the far end by the window while Julia rushes closer to the back wall where Andrea and I sit. "Are you ready?"

"Ready!" they both answer.

With a wave of my wand, the sheets from my bed spring out of the room and cover the large window, darkening the room. "Go!" Andrea commands.

* * *

**Will she actually tell them who she is?**

**If she does, how will Christopher's parents react?**

**Review!**


	105. Chapter 105

**I still haven't been able to get ahead in the story. I'll have a chapter by Wednesday and will update then. I am so sorry about all of this.**

* * *

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! It's so much more difficult to get chapters written when school is back in:( I'm trying my hardest to get back ahead so I can update every day again. I don't want to mess that up too badly right here at the end. It will be a tad awkward if she tells them**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! It really is a suicide mission; I hadn't thought of it like that. There are a lot of different ways that it can go if she tells. We'll just have to be patient and see how it goes.**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! There are positives and negatives to her telling or not telling them. Christopher was meant to be a little like Ron, which is why he said that lol. I'm happy you contributed to the amount of reviews as well!**

**sanajoshi: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry about the wait. School is screwing with my writing time :(**

**sua chiwowa: Thanks for reviewing! She doesn't really enjoy telling people (for obvious reasons), but she does it when she knows she should**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! It could ruin their relationship with them, but I think if she goes about it the right way, it wouldn't be too bad. But it will definitely be a shock**

**OpHeLiA-91: Thanks for the follows, the favorites, and the review! It's okay if you don't review that often. I like getting reviews whenever I can:) I'm glad I got you hooked lol. That excites me. A lot of people don't want her pregnant with Voldemort's child, but I can't say what's going to happen. Most want her to tell her father, but I haven't decided if that's the best course of action. I'm debating it. He would help her if he found out. I'll definitely be finishing this story. I have spent so much of the past five months writing it that I won't give up now. **

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I was really excited to pass the three digit mark! I think they'll accept her eventually. I've been waiting to reveal their relations since I first introduced Christopher lol. I think it will be hard for Christopher, just because of the lies. Then it might bring them closer. There are a few different scenarios. Your theory will be proved or disproved in the next few chapters:) **

**enna: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad you love my story! I feel bad for her. She's been through a lot, and it just keeps getting worse, really, with everything she's learning recently. I can't say much about Charlotte being able to get pregnant or not. *hugs back* lol**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it'd be an interesting game for her to play lol. It's a major burden for her, but it might be necessary…maybe. She really does suck at keeping secrets though lol**

**Flamewings09: Thanks for the follows, the favorite, and the review! I'm thrilled you love the story! Fred will make more appearances:)**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! Was it like a friend of yours or like a page? I'm glad you like the story:) I like to give warnings since I try update every day.**

**CelticCrossings: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**LuvWolves4ever: Thanks for the follow!**

**Casperian2013: Thanks for the follows and the favorites!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 105**

From our perch above the maze, Andrea and I can halfway see Christopher as he makes his way around the corners of each wall. It seems that he has his left hand on the wall and is tracing his way through, searching for Julia. This is the first time during the five games I've seen them play that Christopher has tried the strategy. "Who do you think is going to win this time?" I whisper to Andrea.

"Julia," she says without hesitation.

"You seem quite confident," I reply.

"She beats him every time," the girl laughs. "He denies it, but it's true. He and Helena used to lose to her all the time, and none of us know how. It got to the point where they used to cheat to beat her. But even then, she won most of the time."

"Is she really that good?" I ask.

"She's great. You'd think she created the game. I don't know how she does it, and she doesn't tell."

"She's an only child?"

"Yeah, her parents struggled having kids," Andrea says. She looks over at me and smiles. "Mum and Dad joke about how Christopher and Julia will end up married. The two of them hate it when they talk about it."

"Do you think they'll end up married?"

"I hope so," she answers. "I love Julia."

A bright flash of red draws my attention back to the maze. "Red was Julia, right?"

Then there's a bright flash of blue. I lean forward in the chair. I can't see where they have gone. There's another flash of red followed by a loud, "Bloody hell!"

I laugh before I can stop myself. "I win…again!" Julia's voice drifts up to me. I wave my wand and put the room back to its right way. Christopher is fuming with anger from his loss. "Don't worry about it, Chris. You might beat me one day."

"Shut up," he says.

"No need to be bitter," Andrea laughs.

"So anyways," Christopher says to me, "you see why Helena and I used to gang up on her."

Julia smiles proudly. "And they still used to lose to me!"

"We won a few times," the boy counters.

"That's what you think," she answers. "I let you win all _two_ of those times."

I look over at Andrea. "I think you might be right," I say.

"What's she right about?" Christopher questions.

"You'll wind up marrying Julia," I say with a wink.

"Not you too!" Julia laughs. She and Christopher look completely scandalized.

Before we can say anything else, what sounds like a herd of buffalo comes rushing down the stairs. All of us turn to see what's happening. Mr. Collins and Mr. Mitchells are both parading down the steps. "Are any of you hungry?" Mr. Collins asks.

"Who won the match?" Julia replies.

"Ethan," Mr. Collins answers, "which means I'm making lunch for all of you," Mr. Mitchells fights to hold back his laughter, "which means you'll basically being fending for yourselves. But, I figured I could scrounge up some crackers or the something of the sort." Mr. Collins glances at me. "Unless, of course, Charlotte is able to cook."

Laughter bursts out of me before I can stop it. "You're…you're serious?" I ask, my laughter quickly dying.

"That wasn't part of the deal, Gideon," Mr. Mitchells states.

"And in any case, I can't cook to save my life," I say.

"Crackers it is," Mr. Collins says. We follow the two men back up the stairs and to the kitchen. Mr. Collins peruses the cabinets. "No way!"

"What?" Christopher quickly asks, running to go see what his father found.

"I found my Christmas gift from your mother." He quickly closes the cabinet. "Don't tell her!" He opens the fridge. "We have turkey! Since when do we have turkey?" He looks at all of us. "Who wants a turkey sandwich?" No answers. "All of you? Great." He gets the bread and starts to make us each a sandwich.

"Charlotte is allergic to turkey," Christopher states.

Mr. Collins freezes. "Would you prefer some crackers, Charlotte?" he asks with a smile.

"I'll eat a turkey sandwich," I reply.

"If you're going to die from an allergic reaction, I'd prefer you not," he says.

"I'm not really allergic, sir."

"Good, because I don't know where the crackers are…"

After we finish the meal, we go back to the basement. For the next few hours, we entertain ourselves with a few more games of Beams and Exploding Snap. Julia fits into the Collins family like she belongs with them. But I guess she technically does, considering they all grew up together.

The mothers arrive home hours after dinner, which happened to be yet another turkey sandwich, with bags of gifts. "Julia will be spending the night," Mrs. Collins tells me quietly. "I hope you're okay with that. She'll be down in the basement with you and Christopher."

"That's great," I say.

We all say goodbye to the Mr. and Mrs. Mitchells. Then Paige and Brooke are carried to their beds. When the parents come back down the stairs, Mr. Collins turns to us – Christopher, Julia, Andrea, and me. "A house-wide game of Beams?" he suggests. "Andrea, you come with me." His daughter takes him by the hand. He waves his wand. "No going into the rooms or to the top floor. No camping. If you are caught, you join that person's hunt, but you are not allowed to beam anyone else. The winner is the one who never got hit." A maze emerges from the furniture. I can no longer see anyone. I'm on my own. "Begin!"

I immediately cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself. I take slow steps, trying to avoid contact with anyone. I put my hand on the wall and follow where it leads. A flash of pink lights up the room for a split second. I continue through the maze, taking turns whenever I run out of straight wall. There is a flash of red, followed by a loud groan from Christopher. Julia must have found him.

Someone turns the corner in front of me. I pause. It's Mrs. Collins. I'm about to shout out the spell when she's hit with a beam of orange. Mr. Collins and Andrea collect her for their group. "Have you seen Charlotte?" she asks him.

"Not yet," he whispers. "But we need to find her before Julia does."

I smile to myself as I say, "_Trabes lucis_, green!" My beam of light shoots out and hits Mr. Collins. They all look between each other. I take the charm off myself. "Hi."

"Were you – were you invisible?" Andrea asks. "How?"

"The Disillusionment Charm!" Mr. Collins laughs. "Bloody brilliant you are." He gives me a high-five.

"Is that even allowed?" Mrs. Collins asks.

"No one has said anything about it," her husband replies. "So I would imagine that it is."

"Don't tell Julia about it," Mrs. Collins whispers conspiringly. "It's bad enough as it is without her having that upper hand as well."

I just smile.

"_Trabes lucis_, red!" Once I hear this, I know that I have lost the game. The faces of the three Collins' in front of me drop. "You all talk really loudly, did you know that?" Julia asks.

I turn around. Christopher smiles. "I told you she was good, Charlotte."

"Daddy!" a tiny voice screams.

Without a pause, Mr. Collins waves his wand. He is running toward the sound of his daughter's voice before the maze has even gone back to its normal self. Mrs. Collins follows him. The rest of us start making our way to the kitchen. Unfortunately for me, I ram into a shelf that was returning to its normal form. Something falls off the top and smashes onto the floor.

"Careful there, Charlotte," Christopher laughs. "At least I was invisible when I ran into things. I had an excuse. Do you?"

I chuckle and bend to pick up the picture frame but completely freeze after that. The girl in the picture, she must be Helena. Her hair is black and curly, like mine. It falls a few inches below her shoulders. Her cheek bones are defined, like mine. Her eyes are deep blue like Christopher and Mr. Collins, rather than icy blue like me and my father. She's pale, porcelain-like, reminding me of Bellatrix and a bit like myself. Her smile is wider and whiter than mine, and she seems carefree, much different than I am. But if I didn't know any better, I would believe the two of us to be sisters. Our noses are different. I have my mother's and she has her father's.

"Charlotte," I hear a gentle voice call. "Charlotte, what's wrong?"

I look up to find the other three staring at me. Mr. and Mrs. Collins are coming down the stairs. I'm in shock. I believed Christopher when he said that I looked like his sister, but this is just too much. I turn the picture around so they can see. "Is…is this her? Is she Helena?" I whisper.

"Blimey," Mr. Collins whispers. They all come toward me. "The two of you…"

Mrs. Collins's face is stricken with pain. She collapses in front of me and takes my face in her hands. "How…how…?"

"You hadn't noticed before?" Christopher asks.

"We try not to think about it," Mr. Collins answers. "We didn't want to compare them."

"I um…" Mrs. Collins clears her throat. "I need to go." She says a quick goodnight to her family then rushes to the room she shares with her husband. Mr. Collins does the same. Slowly, I stand up and go to the basement. There is a pallet set up in the large room, one big enough for me and Christopher and Julia. I take the far side and lie down.

Christopher and Julia arrive less than ten minutes later. They don't say anything, probably assuming that I am asleep. I do nothing to change that. I lie there in silence, wishing I could explain everything to the Collins family.

Half an hour later, I roll over to face Julia. "How well did you know her – Helena, I mean?" I ask her quietly. Christopher has fallen asleep on the pallet already. Julia is almost to that point, but I need to know. She is the only one I believe I can ask without feeling guilty.

"They're all my second family, so she was like a sister to me," Julia whispers. "Why do you ask?" Well, now I don't think I can ask her about Helena. If Helena was a sister to Julia, it will be just as difficult for her to answer me as it would be for Christopher. "I don't mind talking about her, Charlotte."

"I was…I was just…you know…what happened to her?" I say softly.

Julia sits up and scoots backward until she's leaning against the sofa. I do the same. "Do you remember a few years ago when all of those Death Eaters broke out of Azkaban?" she asks. I nod. "There were two brothers: Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange. Have you ever heard of them?"

"When I go for questioning with You-Know-Who, they're typically there."

"Well, when they first broke out of Azkaban, they hunted for the Collins'. They didn't find them until the July before we started at Hogwarts. They…they had searched for months. And when they finally found them…it was here…by the lake."

I find myself clenching my fists together. "Did they say anything…what exactly happened?"

"Well…they caught Uncle Gideon off guard," I don't comment on how she refers to Mr. and Mrs. Collins as her aunt and uncle, but I think it is adorable. "He's a powerful wizard, but the Lestrange brothers…together…Uncle Gideon didn't stand a chance. And by the time Aunt Trista could react, it was too late."

"Merlin…" I whisper.

"I don't know exactly what they said –"

"They said she would be better off dead," Christopher's little voice says. He sits up and turns to face us.

"How…how long have you been listening?" I ask quietly.

"It doesn't matter," he answers. "They kept saying that she would be better off dead…that they knew what she had to do…that they wouldn't wish that hell upon anyone. They said…they said they were saving her…from an awful fate. Rodolphus…he was almost in tears…he said that…he knew what she would be forced to do…and that he didn't want her to suffer through that…" Christopher looks away from us and dries his eyes. "He said that…that it would have been his daughter…that she would have been the one to go through that…but she was dead. She was safe from it… He…he wanted Helena to be safe too.

"He…he said…he knew it was difficult to lose a child…but there was no other way. Death was better than what she would face. He didn't wish her fate upon anyone…and he blamed himself…because his daughter was dead…and the baton had been passed to Helena.

"He said that had he protected his daughter…the way a father should…Helena would not be facing this problem. He said he had to make it up to his daughter…he had to save Helena. Killing her was the only way.

"Mum and Dad tried explaining to him that he was mistaken…that Helena was not the girl he was searching for…but he didn't believe it. He said that…she had the blue eyes and the black hair. She was the right age…it had to be her. There was no one else that it could be…she was the proper age and look.

"He told us that he would be merciful…that using Avada Kedavra against her would be better than what she would have to do for You-Know-Who. He apologized over and over…then he…the he killed her."

I've gone cold. My heart feels like ice, and I'm trembling. "He…he thought…what did he think she would have to do?"

"He never said," Christopher whispers.

Helena was killed because my father believed she would have to give birth to Voldemort's child. Helena's death was my fault…inadvertently but still. Had I gone forward to Rodolphus the moment I learned who I am, Helena would not be dead. Helena would still be here with her family, doting upon her siblings. Christopher would have his sister, someone who seems like she was one of his closest friends.

I'm a selfish little bitch. Had I not been so ashamed of my family, Christopher's family would be whole. Had I not hidden my parentage, Helena would be here with her mother and father. Had I not followed the Dark Lord's orders by keeping Rodolphus out of the loop, I would not have destroyed the Collins's perfect family.

I have ruined lives just as Voldemort has ruined lives. I'm no better than he.

"What's wrong, Charlotte?" Julia asks quietly.

I glance over. "Nothing, why?"

"You zoned out – why? What's going on?" Christopher asks.

"Just…thinking…" I say vaguely.

"About the Lestranges?" Christopher guesses. "What do you know about them?"

"Well, when Rodolphus watches over me while I'm waiting to be interrogated…he…he seems…civil…not like his wife Bellatrix," I say.

Christopher looks away from me. "Well, now you know the truth about that bastard," he says.

"Christopher!" Julia says in a very motherly voice. "You know you're not supposed to talk like that!"

He looks over at her. "I don't care," he says. "I can call him whatever I want to call him. He killed my sister."

She's quiet for a second. "Okay," she agrees.

"Christopher," I say gently, "you mentioned your parents arguing more than usual. Do…do you know why?"

He looks at me. "It's about Snape," he answers. "They think he had something to do with Helena's murder. He didn't…obviously…but…they just assume since he is a Death Eater… I personally think it's just stress… The holidays are a difficult time for us." Without another word, he sinks back to his sleeping position. Julia looks at me with sorrow then climbs into her spot as well. I can't move. I'm frozen. How am I supposed to tell Mr. and Mrs. Collins about this? How am I supposed to expose myself for the fraud that I am? What will Christopher say? That will crush him. I can't do that to my brother.

But what choice do I have? This family deserves to know why their daughter was killed.

I remain where I sit until the breathing of both Julia and Christopher evens out. Very carefully, I crawl out from under the blankets and make my way to the stairs. Every one of my steps sounds like an explosion. But deep down I know they aren't, that I'm just exaggerating this. I slowly push the door open and silently close it behind me.

It's after midnight. I should feel bad about this. But I know that I'll feel worse if I don't tell them. I know that this guilt will eat at me until I break. I know that this hole in my gut will not go away until I have told the truth. They deserve to know. Helena was their daughter.

Biting back my slight fear, I creep toward their bedroom door. I don't want to wake them up. Before I knock, I hear, "I was just checking."

I take a deep breath and knock on the door. The voices silence immediately. I slightly knock again. A moment later, the door opens. "Charlotte?" Mrs. Collins asks, clearly confused. "What's wrong?"

I close my eyes for just a second before locking my eyes onto her gaze. "There's something I need to tell you," I whisper. She takes a step out of the room and tries to close the door, but I say, "I need to tell both of you." She stops, opens the door again, and motions for Mr. Collins. We walk to the living room. I sit down across from them in a chair.

"Is Christopher hurt?" Mr. Collins questions.

I shake my head. "No, sir. This…this is about Helena."

They freeze.

"I know why she was killed."

* * *

**How will Mr. and Mrs. Collins take this news?**

**Was Charlotte being irrational when she blamed herself?**

**How will this affect the holidays?**

**Review!**


	106. Chapter 106

**I'm not entirely sure when I'll have the next chapter ready...I'm aiming for Sunday afternoon (Eastern Time). Once again, I'm sorry.**

* * *

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Way to stay positive about what might happen to Charlotte lol. There will be good and bad things that will come from her telling them about Helena. Rodolphus would definitely help her if he could. She wants to tell him, but it might not be the best idea. Voldemort is the one at fault, but Charlotte is hurting and like all people she found a way to blame herself for a tragedy.**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I like to throw people through loops lol:) Poor Charlotte… Her parents have done so much…**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! Christmas definitely won't go the way Charlotte had been hoping. Just wait until you see what happens in this chapter lol. **

**Lumosaccioimperi: Thanks for reviewing! When you're hurting (like Charlotte is), you always find a way to blame yourself. I'll think about your suggestion, but I'm not sure I'll be able to use it.**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! I thought it'd be nice for them to have a game that Helena used to play with Christopher. I was saying the same thing to myself when I wrote the ending :) There are a lot of ways this could go. Can't wait for you to read it!**

**steffy potter: Thanks for reviewing! I didn't mean to make you cry…. Their reactions are in this chapter. I think you might be surprised. I try to update as often as possible. School is screwing with that**

**CTgirl14: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry, classes are taking away my writing time…I'm afraid it will be like this until I finish the story…**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! Oh cool. I was just being curious :)**

**A. stephenson: Thanks for reviewing! Everyone finds a way to blame themselves, even if it is irrational. I agree that telling them is the right thing, but there are many ways it could go. I believe that's a safe bet to make.**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I think you'll like what happens.**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! Sometimes you find someone who looks like you. Charlotte is a gutsy person in general. I hope I can surprise you with their reactions.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I was hoping to give off the feel of suspense music. Their reactions might be expected, but I hope it's a bit unexpected too. The Collins' will certainly hate the idea of what she has to do. **

**Obsidian Charm: Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate you reading until you caught up, and reviewing on your way! It means a lot to me. Charlotte really can't catch a break. She's got awful luck. I agree that she has more bravery than she gives herself credit for, she just needs to realize it. I think I would blame myself too if I were her.**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! What moment did you fangirl about? Lol. I don't mean to mess with your head, I just like to keep the readers on their toes:) I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**leslielouise. bishop: Thanks for the favorite and the review! I'm sorry about the wait for the chapter. I used to update pretty much every day. But classes started, and they've really took a chunk out of my writing time:( I'm glad the story is helping you; I will definitely continue writing**

**Purplette237: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**Greeting: Thanks for the favorites!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 106**

"If this is some sort of joke, I suggest you shut your damn mouth right now," Mr. Collins says strictly. I don't have a chance to rebuttal his accusation before he continues, "You never speak of Helena again, and we'll forget this ever happened. If I hear you so much as utter her name, I will not be held accountable for what I will do to you."

I understand why he is touchy about the subject of his dead daughter, so I ignore the urge to shout at him. "Sir, I want you to know that I would never joke about something as serious as this," I say. "I know why she was killed. I know why Rodolphus did it."

"If I were you, I would proceed with caution," Mr. Collins warns me.

"I'll keep that in mind," I reply. "What you're about to hear is not going to be an easy thing to process. But every word of it is true, unlike almost everything else you know about me."

"Go on then, Charlotte," Mrs. Collins says quietly.

I brace myself. "I'm not who I say am. My name is not Charlotte Rodgers. I am not a bastard born out of wedlock. My parents are not dead. I never went to Durmstrang. Al was not a man who avenged my mum. Alphard was my great uncle who took me in for six months while I was a baby, until my death was faked. My mother knows I am living, but my father does not. A select group of people know the truth about me. I did not hide from Muggle police, Mrs. Collins, as I said I did. I protected myself and ran from Death Eaters who were hunting me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Mr. Collins interrupts me. "Let us get this straight –"

"Everything we know about you is truly a lie?" his wife interjects.

I nod. "Pretty much, yes. But I had to lie to you for your own well-being. And honestly, if it was not for what I now know about Helena, you would not be learning this right now. You would forever believe me to be Charlotte Rodgers. But that is not who I am."

"Then who are you?" Mrs. Collins asks softly.

"My real name is Aurelia Victoria Lestrange, daughter of Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange," I whisper.

Mrs. Collins finds her husband's hand as she gasps. His free hand rubs the back of his neck. "I thought…I thought Aurelia Lestrange was dead. She…she is dead. She died in 1980," he says. "I remember…because he said something about it…when he was killing Helena. He said that he knew what it was like to lose a daughter. I've done some research. His daughter was killed."

"That was another baby," I answer calmly, trying to make sure neither of them becomes too upset. "They all thought it was me. Only You-Know-Who was aware that I was the daughter of the Lestranges."

"When did you learn that you are…Aurelia Lestrange?" Mrs. Collins asks.

"Christmas of '95. I was dating Draco Malfoy – at the time we were unaware of our relation. Bellatrix was at the manor when we arrived for the holidays. It all came out because of this," I bring out my pocket watch. "Narcissa recognized the Black family crest. This belonged to Alphard Black." I hand it over to them.

Mr. Collins turns it over in his palm a few times before asking, "What does this have to do with Helena?"

"That's the thing," I say softly. "I was raised in an orphanage. I was protected and watched after by a woman named Abigail Avery, whom I just recently learned was working for the Dark Lord the whole time. She was to stop any Death Eater other than the Malfoys from getting me from the orphanage. Her father came to get me. They got into an argument. He killed her. I killed him –"

"How old were you?" Mrs. Collins suddenly asks.

"I was ten," I answer. "My grandfather – Rodolphus's father – was there, but he did nothing to stop me. He left a note for Rodolphus and Rabastan and Avery. He told them what had happened." I clear my throat. "I have had the same hair and eyes since I was young. Helena had blue eyes as well, and similar hair. We were around the same age." I have to look away from them. "I think…I think they believed Helena was me."

"So our daughter was murdered for something you did eight years ago?" Mr. Collins hisses.

Against my will, I look back at him. "No," I say firmly. "She was killed because of something I would have to do – something I am being forced to do, something I am doing now. It made more sense when Christopher told me Rodolphus said that Helena would be better off dead than have to face her future. Rodolphus, I believe, truly killed her out of sympathy. But he killed the wrong girl. And believe me, if I could change that, I would. If I could have been the one to die, I would gladly choose that route."

"What are you doing that is so dreadful you would rather be dead?" Mrs. Collins asks.

Heat is already rising to my cheeks. "I need you to understand that I don't want to do this," I whisper. They nod. "I…I am…I am being forced…I have to…I was chosen to…the Dark Lord…I have to…I have to give him a child…

"And that is why my father killed Helena. I think…I think he believed she was me. He thought he was saving her from this awful fate. He was trying to protect her…in his own way."

"Oh, God…" Mrs. Collins mutters. "He doesn't…you don't…Charlotte…"

I shake my head. "I'm forced to go to the manor once a month, where he tries to impregnate me…"

"How long?" Mr. Collins whispers.

"Since the end of August," I answer.

Silence lingers over us for a few moments.

"Rodolphus Lestrange…his daughter…you've been alive all this time…" Mr. Collins seems to be talking to himself more than anyone else.

"'His daughter'?" a voice shouts. "Rodolphus Lestrange's daughter?" Christopher and Julia throw the basement door open.

"Christopher," I say quietly.

"SHUT UP!" he roars. "EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER TOLD ME WAS A LIE!"

"Son," Mr. Collins tries.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT HELENA IS DEAD! MY SISTER IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!" Christopher runs at me. I stand to my feet. He shoves me as hard as he can. I throw my foot back and stop myself from falling. "HOW COULD YOU?" Mr. Collins hops to his feet and grabs his son up in his arms, pulling him away from me. "GET OUT! GET OUT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! GET OUT! LEAVE!" His father lifts him into his arms and rushes him out of the room.

I look at Mrs. Collins. "I…I should go…" I whisper.

"No," she argues. "Gideon will speak with him. It'll be fine." There are tears in her eyes. "He'll calm down."

I shake my head. "But it'd be better if I was not here when you try to calm him down. I should go."

Without warning, she takes me into her arms. "Where would you go?" she whispers.

"I have an idea."

"Will you be safe?"

"As safe as possible," I answer.

"Come back tomorrow," she says. "Come back around dinner. By then we will have this whole mess sorted out." She pulls away and looks me in the eye. "Promise me that you will come back tomorrow. He'll be fine by then."

Reluctantly, I nod. "I'll be back tomorrow." I wave my wand, and my rucksack flies up the stairs. I grab it. "Thanks for everything." I see her smile sadly at me before I Disapparate.

When I open my eyes, the first thing I notice is that the fire is burning in the hearth, which is odd because I should be the only person here. Lestrange Cottage should be empty right now. Before I can make a move to leave (I don't want to speak with anyone at the moment), I hear, "Charlotte?"

Ever so slowly, I turn to see who could possibly be here, even though, deep down, I think I know already. "Rodolphus," I greet him flatly.

"What are you doing here? Bellatrix is serving the Dark Lord. She isn't here," he replies.

Anger bubbles in my heart. This man…my father…killed Helena Collins. He killed her. He killed her because he thought she was me.

But that doesn't excuse him.

"Is something wrong? I thought you were at Hogwarts," he continues. I glare at him. "You weren't at Hogwarts, were you?"

"No," I growl, "I wasn't."

"Someone has obviously done something to you," he says kindly. "I know the two of us are not overly close, but I'll listen if you want to talk."

"I can't speak with you about it," I say. My hand twitches. My voice is strained and rude when I ask, "Would you like to know where I was?"

"Sure," he says uncomfortably.

"I was with a family that I believe you know," I answer. "A family to which you are related – the Collins family." He shifts. "Yes, I thought you might recognize the name."

"Listen, Charlotte –"

"You killed her!" I roar. "You killed their daughter! And for what? Because you _thought_ she would have to do something terrible! How could you? She had so much life left! And you took that from her! You took that from her family!"

"Don't think I'm oblivious to how difficult it is to lose a child –"

"Then why would you put them through that type of hell?" I scream.

"Because it was better than the alternative," he says calmly.

"But you were wrong, Rodolphus!" I don't lower my voice, despite the fact that he is still in his normal tone. "She was never the one who would bear the Dark Lord's child!"

"Yes!" he shouts, finally retaliating to my anger. "I was mistaken! But I believed I was helping!"

"So you're saying that you would rather have Aurelia dead than have her give the Dark Lord a child?" I counter.

He pauses. His voice is soft once again, almost a whisper, when he says, "I would see my daughter six feet in the ground before I would ever wish to see her experience torment so awful as bearing the Dark Lord's child." He sighs sadly. "I thought I was saving her. Helena did not deserve that."

"No one does," I say.

"It was supposed to be my daughter," he whispers. "The Dark Lord chose Aurelia."

"How –"

"I was sneaking around the manor and overheard Lucius and Narcissa talking." He sits down. "It was supposed to be her. But she died. I can honestly say that while I was – and have been – destroyed since that day, I am glad she will never experience what you…" he looks away from me. "You never answered my question. Why are you here?"

"I had to get away," I say. "I couldn't stay there…not after…"

"Not after what?" he replies.

"Not after I learned what happened to Helena and how it should have been me who died, not her," I answer, going over and sitting in the chair opposite the sofa, where he is. I meet his eye. "Would you have killed Aurelia to save her?"

Tears spring up in his eyes. "Do you honestly believe I would have been able to bring any harm onto my daughter?" He shakes his head. "I could never have killed her, but I most certainly would have done whatever it took to get her away from the Dark Lord."

"Even if that meant you would die?"

"Even if I was Cruciated to my breaking point like the Longbottoms," he says. "I would do anything for her."

I have to look away. Rodolphus deserves to know who I am. But how can I tell him? "If you had known that it was me and not Helena, would you have killed me?"

"Yes," he states. "Can you honestly say that you would choose to face this?"

"I question it sometimes," I reply. "In fact, I tried taking my own life when I was younger. It didn't work, obviously."

"Why, of all places, did you come here?" my father asks me.

I look away from him. "I enjoy being here." It's only a partial lie.

"Do you usually come here when you're upset?"

"No, sir, this is the first time. It just…felt right," I say.

His smile is sad but delightful as he looks around the room. "There is something reassuring about this place, isn't there?" His eyes meet mine again. "How many times have you been here?"

"Twice," I say without thinking. In that moment I realize my mistake.

"Twice?" he repeats quietly.

I clear my throat. "My birthday this year," I whisper, "and…and Christmas…last year."

Silence. That's all there is. He's frozen, and I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind as he begins to piece the puzzle together with the hints I've dropped since I first met him. "Christmas?" he asks. "Why?"

"Bellatrix, she wanted to spend time with me," I answer softly.

"And…and…when did you…when were you…how old were you when you were put in the orphanage?"

I keep my eyes trained on his. "I was almost a year old. I stayed there until I was ten, when I learned of my duty and of my powers as a witch. That's when I went on the run. But I didn't learn the full truth about myself until this time two years ago, at Malfoy Manor. It was my first Christmas when I wasn't hiding in Muggle houses or caves. But it didn't turn out the way I had hoped, sort of like this Christmas."

He leans forward and whispers, "What happened?"

"All of the Death Eaters were out of Azkaban," I say. "None of us ever thought…we didn't have a clue…it all just happened so quickly…"

Rodolphus leans forward more and takes my hands in his. He has to know. I doubt he would try something so daring if he was not sure who I am. "Charlotte," well, maybe he doesn't know, "what happened?"

"We were sitting around the table, waiting for Bellatrix to arrive. Narcissa was trying to help me find out who my family was. I had a pocket watch from a man who took care of me for a while. He…he was my great-uncle. The family crest was…was pretty beaten and worn…" my voice starts to fail me, "but Narcissa was still able to read it. Bellatrix was shouting at me. I was dating Draco at the time and had not told him…about my duty. She…she was shouting at me…threatening me. Narcissa's voice kept butting into my shouting match with Bellatrix…" I force myself to continue looking at him. "She was about to Cruciate me – Bellatrix, I mean, not Narcissa. Narcissa was able to calm her…sort of. She was able to stop her by screaming loud enough to distract the two of us…that's when the truth came out…"

My father tightens his grip on my hands. "What truth?" he breathes.

"The truth that…I'm…I'm not really Charlotte Rodgers." I'm sure by this point he knows the truth. I believe he just wants to hear it. "I wanted to tell. I did. I truly did. But the Dark Lord forbade it."

"What truth?" he asks, slightly louder this time.

"Don't be upset," I preface. "We had no choice. We had no choice. I wanted…so badly…I wanted to tell…"

"I won't be upset," he assures me. "Just tell me what happened."

"I…" tears burn my eyes more than they ever have. It takes all my willpower not to sob. For several months now, all I have wanted was to tell my father who I am. Now here I sit with a perfect opportunity, and I'm terrified. How will he react?

There's only one way to know, I suppose.

"I'm her," I say. "I'm Aurelia Victoria. I'm yours and Bellatrix's daughter. It's me."

His hands slip away from mine. For a moment, he's frozen, unmoving. His stare is blank. My heart rate drops drastically. I brace myself for whatever might come. His face contorts.

But whether it is from anger or agony, I do not know.

* * *

**Rodolphus finally knows! How do you think he's going to react?**

**Will Christopher ever get over what's just happened? What about Mr. and Mrs. Collins?**

**Will Charlotte go back to their place for the rest of Christmas?**

**Review!**


	107. Chapter 107

**Sorry I couldn't update yesterday. I was gone longer than I thought I'd be.**

**Thanks for all the reviews. There were tons of them last chapter.**

* * *

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I update as frequently as possible!**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! She really can't, can she? Lol. I can't say what she'll lose or gain. Christopher will take a bit more convincing than Mr. and Mrs. Collins. After all, he's just a kid who lost his sister. I don't think Bellatrix knew, since she and Rodolphus don't speak much anymore. But it's not a huge deal. I'll briefly mention it later.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really looking forward to everyone's reactions to what happens:) Mr. and Mrs. Collins will get over it before Christopher does, if he ever does. He's just a kid.**

**guest: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're reviewing now:) It means a lot that you think my fanfic is that good! It's great to hear that. I'll be sad when it's over too, but also happy cause everyone will see what happens. It'll be bittersweet, I guess. **

**swagg: Thanks for reviewing! That'd be cool, but I have some other things in mind that I think you'll like:)**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're so excited about this hahaha. Christopher and Rodolphus will have different ways of viewing the situation. Christopher and Helena were close, so he couldn't handle the fact that Charlotte was indirectly responsible. Julia will come up later**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I can't tell what that face is supposed to mean lol**

**enna: Thanks for reviewing! I've been waiting for that for a while! You'll see how he responds in this chapter. It won't end good, but it won't end bad either. Don't worry about your English. It's fine:)**

**Kagome Narome: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I love that fact that you're fangirling! I honestly didn't think people would become this attached to the story! It warms my heart:) I admit to putting a lot of plot twists in the story. Don't throw up, don't throw up. It'll be okay hahaha. **

**K C Miranda: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so sorry about the dead stop. I'm trying really hard to get back ahead of the readers, but with school and all, it's difficult. I'm glad the story has you engrossed though! It's great to know you're enjoying the story and that you can imagine everything like you were able to do with the original series:) Thanks for not rushing me. I'm trying really hard to get back to daily updates. Don't worry about not reviewing until now. I'm just glad you reviewed at all:)**

**born2die3: Thanks for reviewing! Aww thanks! It means a great deal to me that you think I'm that good! You'll find out what happens in this chapter! I can't comment on Fred**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing! Just wait until you read what he does:)**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so sorry! I'm trying! When she goes back you'll learn more about what's going on with Christopher. More of Mr. and Mrs. Collins' reactions will be discussed when Charlotte returns to them. Sorry about the cliffhanger…**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing!**

**lee-lee94: Thanks for reviewing! I thought about having Charlotte actually be Helena, but I had to veto that idea since I've already done one identity switch (when she became Aurelia). Yeah, they were related the whole time. I'll definitely continue**

**Bellatrix-Awesome: Thanks for reviewing! At least he got his daughter back, and I think that'll outweigh his being upset over not knowing it was Aurelia. More will be explained about Christopher later; the same goes for his parents. **

**EvanzN: Thanks for reviewing! I've been waiting for him to figure out the truth. Everything will be cleared up later. A lot is planned to happen:) **

**Afanofyours: Thanks for reviewing! She'll go back eventually.**

**sanajoshi: Thanks for reviewing! Christopher loves Charlotte, but he also loved Helena**

**Oliver_Max_Lyon: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad Rodolphus learned the truth. The reaction of all the Collins family will be discussed later.**

**leslielouise. bishop: Thanks for reviewing! Well, word-wise it was the same length as the previous chapters (I aim between 2700 and 3100 words, before I add the responses to the reviews). There were just larger paragraphs and less line breaks, which made it seems shorter**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! 103 – I'm glad you're back, and I hope you had a great time! She's not very good at keeping secrets. I think Rodolphus killing Helena hit home a little more for Charlotte because of Christopher. 104 – Charlotte does tend to tell people when she feels it's necessary. She doesn't like to keep things that large to herself. She views her friends and adults differently. I guess she figures adults are more mature and can handle more. 105 – he doesn't think he killed his own daughter, he just believes she's dead. He was trying to save his cousin's daughter from Aurelia's fate. Rodolphus wouldn't have killed his daughter. It's a fine review lol. 106 – I tried to let it all come together. I'm glad it worked…and that Charlotte finally told Rodolphus. More with the Collins' will take place later. Rodolphus's reaction will happen in this chapter.**

**YerAWizardKatie: Thanks for reviewing! His reaction will be shown in this chapter:) It will take a little bit longer for Christopher's reaction to finally come up again. As for where she'll stay, I can't say.**

**BellatrixZivaEmilyPrentiss: Thanks for reviewing! Happy belated birthday! **

**Christine-Oliver-Lyon-Anna: Thanks for reviewing! His complete reaction will happen in this chapter! But I see your points on his reactions. Christopher's reaction won't happen till later, neither will that of his parents. Are you by any chance related to (or the same person lol) as Oliver_Max_Lyon? Just wondering…**

**Desperatlyneedin: Thanks for reviewing! I'm trying to get my updates faster**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! I've been waiting for a while for Rodolphus to learn the truth! Thanks:) I enjoy compliments lol. I like throwing in twists to surprise people.**

**sunshinekatie1996: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

**ixipixi: Thanks for the favorite!**

**pheonlynx: Thanks for the favorite!**

**Cherrypetal: Thanks for the follow!**

**mysticoriginals: Thanks for the follow and the favorite!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 107**

"Aurelia," he whispers. My father collapses to his knees in front of my chair and takes my face in his hands. "My girl." Tears pour down his cheeks. "My baby girl." He pulls me forward, ignoring how I fall in front of him, and wraps his arms around me. I can hardly breathe, but his embrace is very much welcome. I put my arms around him and rest my head in the crook of his neck. His tears dampen my shoulder and my neck, but I couldn't care less.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before," I say softly.

He tightens his hold on me as if I might vanish, as if I'm not real. It seems that we can't be close enough for him to believe that I am actually here. "Aurelia," he repeats quietly. "Somehow I believe I knew…I think I've known since the night the Dark Lord introduced you at Malfoy Manor. I just didn't want to…I didn't want to think that my baby girl would still go through that hell."

"I should have told you," I say again.

He pulls us apart, though it seems to be a struggle for him. His hands stay on my upper arms like he is afraid to let go of me lest I disappear. "I told myself that, if my daughter survived that attack through some miraculous anomaly, I would be able to recognize her if I passed her on the street. I would look into her eyes, and just _know_ that it was her. But I wouldn't act on it. I would never have told anyone for fear that it would have led to her being caught by the Dark Lord."

Tears swell in his eyes. "You look so much like her – like Bellatrix. How did I not see it before?" My father gathers my hair together and pushes it away from my face. "I've missed you so much." He pulls me back into his arms. "I love you so much, Aurelia."

"I love you too, Dad," I reply.

A painful sound escapes him. He whispers, "I never thought I'd live to hear you call me 'Dad.' I thought it was a lost dream." Once again, he pulls away from me. But this time, he stands and hauls me to my feet as well. We take a seat on the sofa. He turns to me. "Bellatrix knows, doesn't she?"

"Yes," I answer. "She's known for…a while now."

His eyes dart away from me for a moment then come back. "I know you owe me nothing. I haven't been a father that I need to be –"

"But that's only because you couldn't be," I interject. "I have no doubts that you would be a great father if given the opportunity."

He smiles half-heartedly. "I hope I can be," he says. "But I need you to help me."

This makes no sense to me. "How can _I_ possibly help _you_?"

"Your mother will do all that she can to serve the Dark Lord," he says quietly. "That means she'll die for him. You can't let her die for him, Aurelia. I don't care what you must do, but I need you to get her away from him. Take her somewhere. The two of you can live out your lives together, away from the Dark Lord. It does not matter if I am unable to live with you and be a family. You must save her."

"How?" I whisper.

"Well, first, I need to find a way to save you from the Dark Lord," he replies.

My heartbeat quickens. "Do you have any idea how to do that?"

There is a long pause. "I will begin working on it." He takes my hand in his. "He…he abuses you, doesn't he?" His voice carries such a pain that I want to cry. But I force myself not to.

"Not…not since last time," I struggle to say.

"What happened?"

"He threatened to have…to force me to kill my four second-year friends," I whisper. "And…and he threatened to have…to have me watch Bellatrix kill you. If I didn't stop resisting him…"

Rodolphus suppress a loud sob. Fresh tears trickle down his face. "Aurelia…" he can't really seem to be able to form sentences. He pulls me into his chest. Silent sobs wrack his body. We stay like that for a few minutes, simply bearing this burden together. Suddenly, he asks, "How do you handle it? How do you live with this?"

Should I tell him? Why the hell not, right? I mean, I've told him what I was strictly forbidden to tell him. Why not tell him this as well? "Severus helps me," I say.

My father lifts me up so he can look into my face. "Severus?" he asks. "He…he's against the Dark Lord?"

Now I don't know what to do. "Occlumency?" I reply.

"I taught your mother," he answers. "She taught Draco. Who taught you?"

"Severus," I say. "And yes, he's been against You-Know-Who since Lily Potter's life was threatened."

"He still loves her," my father says. It's not a question. It's a statement, like he already knows it's the truth. I nod. "I know what that's like. Though Bellatrix might not be dead, she is far enough separated from me that she might as well be."

I tighten my hand around his. "I'm so sorry."

He smiles. "But I have you once again." I pull our hands into my lap. Then he asks, "How does Severus help you?"

"Well," I search for the words, "he's been helping me since he found out what I have to do."

"So he knows who you are?"

I nod. "He's known since I first found out – not that I wanted to tell him. I more or less stormed into his office accusing him of knowing and keeping it from me. He didn't know until that moment. Now, before I go to Malfoy Manor, I go see Severus." No, I can't tell him that I've been sleeping with Severus. I doubt my father would take that lightly. "We don't say much. I just sort of sit in his office. Just being around someone who knows what I'm going through makes it easier. I don't know why, it just does."

"Thank him for me, will you?" Rodolphus comments.

"You have my word," I assure him.

Another short moment of silence passes. "Would you like something to eat or drink?"

"Firewhiskey would be nice," I reply.

He smiles and waves his wand. Two bottles fly into the room. He opens both of them and hands me one. He raises his bottle. "To second chances," he says.

I tap my bottle against his. "I'll toast to that." And we drink our firewhiskey together in Lestrange Cottage, in front of the fire. If only I could have experienced a life with him and Bellatrix in this place. I regret that we lost that opportunity.

After we both finish (he finished minutes before me but waited patiently), he takes our bottles, stands, and places them on the mantle. With a flick of his wand, music begins playing in the corner. I turn to see an old record player in the back of the room. Rodolphus stands in front of me and offers me his hand. "Might I have this dance, my dear?" he asks. I smile and accept his offer. He helps me to my feet. The song is slow and smooth. It relaxes me. My father puts one hand on my waist and holds my other hand out. I put my free hand on his shoulder. He leads us in slow rotations around the room.

"What's going on in my daughter's life?" he asks, flashing his charming smile at me.

"Like what?" I reply.

"Who's important in your life? Do you have many friends? Is there a boy in your life? How are your classes? Have the Carrows started treating you right?"

"Speaking of the Carrows," I say. "Are you the one who has them interrogating me?"

"They're what?" Then he laughs as if understanding what's going on. "Oh, I believe that was Rabastan. He believed, from the moment he saw you, that you were Aurelia. For obvious reasons, I couldn't afford to think like that. I didn't want to imagine that it might be true then have it proven wrong." He twirls me around. Once I'm facing him again, he continues, "He must have had them begin questioning you on my behalf, to find out if you were Aurelia or not. I'll have him call them off."

"That'd be great," I say.

"I believe I had a few more questions though, other than just the one about the Carrows."

I smile. "As for who is important in my life…don't hate me for this –"

"I could never hate you," he quickly says.

"Professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House," I reply, "she's like a mother to me – the kind of mother who isn't serving the Dark Lord and is doing her best to get me out of my duty. Mum is important to me too, though."

"You call Bellatrix 'Mum'?" he whispers. I nod. With a heartbroken smile, he kisses my forehead, then twirls me around again.

"Severus is a great friend to me, as are Christopher Collins and the Greengrass sisters and some other second-years. Christopher was like a brother to me."

"'Was'?"

"After he learned that I was your daughter, he freaked out. I don't know if he'll forgive me."

"I'm sure he will."

I try to smile bravely. "I hope so."

My father smirks mischievously. "And is there a special young man in your life?"

I clear my throat and have to look away from him. "There was one," I whisper. "His name is Fred Weasley. I know he's a blood traitor, but…I love him."

"Does he make you happy?"

I nod.

He's silent for a few minutes. "Then I approve."

"Really?" I ask skeptically.

"After having lost you for seventeen years, if something makes you happy, I will not fight against it. Ever."

"We broke up right after I found out the dates of my duty. He was upset with me for not telling him earlier that I was to have the Dark Lord's child. He hadn't really spoken to me in months until my birthday weekend. I went to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes to get Christmas gifts for my young friends. We haven't spoken since."

"I'll try to keep him safe for you," my father promises. "You still love him?"

"Yes."

"I'll make sure he's fine, as is his family," Rodolphus states. "From what little time I have spent with you, I know that you are precious young lady. He'll come around. Just give him time." I lean against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

Is it possible that I could save my mother from the Dark Lord? Is it possible to escape from my duty, to live somewhere far away as a broken family with Bellatrix? The idea sends this odd jolt of giddiness through me, and I don't know why. I shouldn't like the idea of being a family with my mother, but I do. I shouldn't want to leave Hogwarts to live with her, but part of me does.

But I don't want to leave behind McGonagall or Severus. And I don't want my chance of being with Fred to disappear either.

But Rodolphus needs me to save Bellatrix. That's the one thing he has asked of me. Perhaps I won't have to stay gone forever. Perhaps I can return after Voldemort has been killed, as I firmly believe he will die. If I can keep my mother away long enough for Harry to arrive and end the Dark Lord's reign, we can return. She might even learn to love Rodolphus if Voldemort is no longer in the picture. We can be a family.

I can have a true family.

But what about McGonagall? Severus? Fred? I don't want to leave them completely. The only person from that group that Bellatrix would allow me to be around would be Severus. I would never be able to marry Fred – though that might not ever happen either considering Fred still seems to be angry with me. And McGonagall is far too important for me to abandon completely. I can't do that.

Something needs to be done to save Bellatrix, though. This is essential for Rodolphus. He doesn't want the love of his life dying for a man who caused his fifteen year imprisonment in Azkaban and my "death." I see Rodolphus's issue with continuing to serve Voldemort.

The music stops shortly after that, and we stop with it. "I assume you will be heading back soon?" my father asks quietly without looking at me.

"I…I…I actually…I can't," I stammer. "Not until tomorrow."

He smiles. "You are more than welcome to stay here if you'd like."

"I'd like that very much," I whisper.

* * *

"So," Rodolphus's speech is slow. And for good reason – it's nearly three in the morning. But neither of us wants to go to sleep. We want to spend every possible minute with each other, something we had never dreamed possible. I don't know what the two of us have not spoken about. So I have no idea what he's about to say. "What does Bellatrix say about this whole thing?"

I'm sitting next to him on the sofa. Our feet are propped up on the table in front of us. His arm is around me protectively, and I'm resting my head on his chest.

And I know it might seem weird that we're acting as if all of those years had never been taken, but I can't imagine this any other way. I mean, if we were uncomfortable around each other, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself for telling him the truth. I like that we can put everything behind us, go straight to the relationship we could have had if Voldemort had not faked my death.

I don't know what to say to him about Bellatrix. There's so much to say.

I guess I have to try something. "Well," I say, just as slowly has he had spoken, "to begin with, she hated it. She wanted to kill me, even threatened me to put me in St. Mungo's like she did the Longbottoms."

He tenses. "She –"

"She's fine now," I quickly interject. "She…she's told me that she loves me. But to begin with, she hated the idea that I was back. It was easier to imagine that her daughter would not have to go through this hell. It was easier for her to believe that her daughter was safe – dead and in the ground, but safe from Voldemort nonetheless."

"Don't say his name," Rodolphus replies. "It's Tabooed."

"What?"

"Snatchers and Death Eaters can find you if you say his name."

"Where are they now then?"

"We're protected through the Fidelius Charm," he answers. "But don't say his name."

"Yes, sir."

"Is that all – about your mother, I mean?" he says.

"Yeah," I tell him. "We've grown closer over time. I'd say we're relatively close now."

"But she can't help you escape your duty, can she?"

"She doesn't want to, considers it a privilege."

He sighs. "I feared that."

"Around her I play it off like I believe it's a privilege. I want my relationship with her to survive. So I keep my animosity to myself. I act like a good little girl."

His chest vibrates with his silent laughter. "My daughter is quite the little actress." He stops laughing. "But I appreciate you trying with Bellatrix. I know she can be difficult."

"I guess no one knows that as well as you," I comment.

"Not a one."

"How do you do it?" I ask. "How do you keep your love for her so strong? How do you do that?"

"I remember the good times, when I thought we had a chance together. I don't really know how, honestly. It just stays. She was – and is – the love of my life. I can't help but love her."

I wonder if I'm that way for Fred, or if he is bound to find the true love of his life.

* * *

**Will she be able to save Bellatrix?**

**Will Rodolphus be able to save her?**

**Review!**


	108. Chapter 108

**Sorry I forgot to say when I was planning on updating. This time, I'll let you know. I'm trying to update again Thursday. **

**And I was completely wrong about the story being 110 chapters. That was way underestimated. My guess now is somewhere around 120 or 125.**

* * *

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I didn't know it was possible either!**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry. I know some friends who went through that too and how difficult it was to them.**

**Purplette237: Thanks for reviewing! I don't know whether to be flattered that you're that into the story or scared lol. I think they're perfect for each other too. We'll just have to see how that pans out. I've been waiting for her to be able to tell Rodolphus. It was only a matter of time. Christopher may or may not get over it.**

**Atala444: Thanks for reviewing! Lol, I tend to do that a lot, don't I? Maybe things will be different this time, you never know. Happy endings are too cliché, right? She deserves some good though…**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Things will not be the same forever, don't worry. It's just got to come together before I can change it. Rodolphus will have to choose between exactly that. It's only a matter of time.**

**ObsidianCharm: Thanks for reviewing! I wanted her to have some happy times. She can't always be going through hell, you know? I can't say if everything will turn around. We'll just have to wait and see.**

**MyHarryPotterAddiction: Thanks for reviewing! I try not to do it too much, but sometimes it's necessary:)**

**butterflyflyaway: Thanks for reviewing!**

**EvanzN: Thanks for reviewing! It would definitely be awesome for her to keep Bellatrix and McGonagall, but you're right: That is asking a lot. But that doesn't mean it can't happen. It might. I can't say lol. I really wanted Rodolphus to be a good person**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! Aww, thanks so much! **

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! If she lives, Bellatrix will still be prejudice and crazy but perhaps come around a bit. You're right, she is a lot saner when around Charlotte. Maybe good things will happen if she can be saved from Voldemort. I had never thought about Bellatrix's past like that. I mean, wow, you're right. That would be such a hard life to live. I want him to be able to save Charlotte and Fred, and I want them to have a happy life. But I don't know. Too much happiness is cliché lol.**

**Sydney Joy: Thanks for reviewing! She and Rodolphus do need each other. I want Charlotte to have a happy life, whether that's with or without Bellatrix. There's so much Charlotte deserves. I'll be bored when this ends too:(**

**enna: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, I wanted Rodolphus's reaction to be a little surprising but not too surprising, since he loves his daughter**

**taytertarts: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you thought it was worth it! Yeah, it was Rabastan. So I guess everyone was partially right when they thought it was Rodolphus but not completely right. All the saving will be difficult. They'll have to keep it a secret that Rodolphus knows the truth.**

**guest: Thanks for reviewing! I loved their reunion too! Yeah, I don't want to be the person who takes the story and changes what J.K. Rowling envisioned. **

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing!**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! Charlotte is certainly the only person who will be able to save Bellatrix, but it will be hard, for the reasons you mentioned. I'm not sure if everything will work out for him, unfortunately. **

**Lady Featherweight: Thanks for the follow and the review! It's okay that this is your first time reviewing; I'm just glad you reviewed! I wanted to add some people to her life, so I'm glad you like them being there. I'm undecided about Fred too. But I'm not sure if I want her to end up with Snape, considering the age difference and his undying love for Lily. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it works. As for keeping at least one of them alive, I can't say what is going to happen. But Charlotte definitely deserves a chance at happiness. Charlotte is awful at keeping secrets, at least some of them. I think at this point, since she knows her fate, she's not overly worried about others finding out. It was coincidence, kind of. Like, that was when Harry was born, and it's her most fertile time of the month, but I haven't really talked about that much. It's mostly just implied.**

**MerlinHasMagic: Thanks for the favorite and the follow and the review! I'm glad this is one of your favorites! I can't say if Fred will live or not. It's up for debate.**

**Flamewings09: Thanks for reviewing! I hope she doesn't get pregnant either. Rodolphus will have to keep it a secret since he's not allowed to know. I hope Christopher comes back around, but you never know. I'll definitely continue:)**

**OpHeLiA-91: Thanks for reviewing! At this point, knowing her fate, she doesn't really care if people find out. I mean, she doesn't want it paraded around, but it's not as big of a deal as it once was. I hope Christopher comes back around. I can't say what will happen with Fred or Bellatrix.**

**evil duck of woe: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry I forgot to say. I won't do that again!**

**Christine-Oliver-Lyon-Anna: Thanks for the follow!**

**Rosewoods Muse: Thanks for the favorite!**

**cadykat. klawes: Thanks for the favorites and the follows!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 108**

I wake up that next morning still leaning against Rodolphus, my father. He's still holding me protectively, as if I might evaporate. "You're planning on leaving today then?" he asks me quietly. There is no way I can know how long he has been awake waiting for me.

"I have to fix this," I say. "Christopher…he loved Helena with everything in him. Knowing that she was killed because she was mistaken for me…knowing that I've been lying to him this whole time…" I shake my head.

"Then we'll have to make the best we can out of today," he replies with a smile. He pulls us both to his feet. "Let's get something to eat, shall we?"

"You can cook?"

"The house-elves at mine and Rabastan's home prepared it for me before I left," he says. I follow him into the kitchen to have breakfast.

As I sit down across from him, I realize that this is the first – and probably last – Christmas Eve I have ever spent – or will ever spend – with my dad. I feel myself becoming giddy again while Rodolphus presents me with bacon and eggs. "Do you think Harry stands a chance of defeating the Dark Lord?" I ask.

"Honestly?" he answers. "Yes, I do. And I sincerely hope he does. But more than the boy just defeating him, I hope he can do it in time to save you."

"Me too."

Conversation dies off pretty soon after that while we eat, but I'm okay with that. I just like being around him. It's a nice feeling, something I never thought possible. Again, I find myself the last one eating. My father waits in patient silence until I am done. Then he smiles and says, "I don't have anything I can truly give you for Christmas, seeing as it is tomorrow and I will not waste our time to leave for a simple material gift." He stands and comes over to me. The plates lift themselves off the table and go to the sink. Rodolphus pulls me to my feet.

"Spending time with you is better than anything else you could possible give me," I assure him.

Either way, he leads me to the living room and waves his wand. "But there is something that I want to give you." A teddy bear, which I immediately recognize as the one that once belonged to me, enters the room and goes to Rodolphus. "Bellatrix returned it to me after I stormed away over your birthday."

"She…she returned it to you?" I whisper. "What did she say?"

He grins. "She came to the house – speaking of, you should come soon, too. Anyway, she came to mine and Rabastan's home. Rabastan wasn't there. It was just me."

"What did she do?" I ask quietly.

"She was nervous, clearly didn't know how to react," he answers. "She hadn't been there in – er – seventeen years. The last time she was there was a few weeks after you, well, died, I suppose, for lack of a better term. We moved there after one of our larger fights, just trying to do something to diffuse the tension. But even leaving the cottage was not enough."

"I can't imagine…" I say.

"It was rather difficult if I may say so myself," he replies, "a bit awkward."

"What happened?" I try again, unable to keep the strain out of my voice.

He smirks at me, obviously enjoying my impatience. "She came into the house. I mean, she didn't Apparate straight in. She knocked on the door – that was the beginning of the peculiarities of this whole situation.

"I went to the door and almost lost my wits when I saw her there. She asked if she could come in, and of course I let her. It was not until later that I registered the fact that she was carrying a teddy bear with her. I was too focused on _her_, the fact that she was there, in my home, with me, the fact that she seemed relatively at ease around me. She was uncomfortable with being there – we had no good memories together from that house. But she seemed fine with being around _me_."

Bellatrix went to him to return the bear. I'm not sure how I should feel. So I listen quietly as my father recounts the details.

"She went into the den, sat down on the black sofa, and stared out the large window. We live on the coast of the North Sea. She was just watching the waves in silence. I didn't quite know what to do," he adds with a smile. "I didn't know whether I should sit down with her, stand and watch her in complete bliss – something I would have enjoyed doing – or watch the water like she was doing, which was not something I wanted to do. But I resigned to standing next to the sofa and staring out to the water as well.

"After a few minutes of this, she clicked her tongue and said, 'Why are you just standing there? Have a seat.' She patted the spot next to her. Doing my best to constrain my joy – things like this never last with Bellatrix – I sat down, leaving enough room between us for her to plop the bear there, which she did. Then she just watched the bear; but I watched her. We sat like this for another few minutes. Something was wrong with her. There was a sorrow etched in her face."

"What was it?" I ask in a hushed tone.

He smiles at me. "I'll get to that."

I vow not to interrupt him again. After all he's been through with her, I believe he has the right to relive this moment with her.

"When she looked up at me, she looked as if she was going to cry. But she didn't, of course. Your mother is too tough to allow herself to cry around me. She's always been like that. Or she was, until we thought you died." He glances away from me for a moment before saying, "She began asking me questions about you – not Charlotte you, but Aurelia you –…asking how things would have been different had you never 'died.'"

"How would things be different?"

"I don't know," he whispers. "I told her…I told her that I knew she had always loved the Dark Lord, which she quickly tried to deny. But let's face it: Everyone knows it's the truth. At least, everyone who is close to her knows it's the truth." He smiles sadly. "And I don't believe he even cares."

"That's who he is," I say. "He only cares about himself."

"I just…she deserves to love someone who will love her back," he replies.

"As do you," I tell him.

He ignores my comment. "So anyways, after I said that, she was none too happy with me, needless to say. She curtly informed me that she had come there to return your teddy bear to me. At this point, though I was unaware, she knew you were alive, but I didn't. I guess that's why she felt she needed to let me have the bear. I suppose I can't be upset with her; the Dark Lord ordered her not to speak of it. I should have expected no different.

"After returning the bear, it was clear she wanted to tell me something, but she wouldn't let herself. And I…I couldn't get her to say it. Looking back, I think it was about you."

"When did this happen?" I ask. I've already broken my vow not to interrupt, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it anymore.

"Two weeks ago," he answers. "She started to leave, rather in a hurry if I may say so myself. But she didn't. She wouldn't Disapparate. And it's not because there was a spell around the house – I would never do that to her. If she wanted to leave, I would let her leave. Part of her didn't want to leave. It was written on her face. There is a lot of bad blood between your mother and me, but we've always been friendly. We've always been friends. We were both tired of the strain between us.

"So she didn't leave. She stood there, close enough for me to touch, but I didn't reach out for her. There are some lines you don't cross. Then she began crying, Aurelia. It was the first time I had seen Bellatrix cry since we thought we lost you.

"I don't know why, and I probably never will, but she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my chest. We stood there for almost half an hour," he continues. "When she was all cried out – I guess she doesn't cry often so it took some time – she looked up at me, apologized – for what I do not know. I tried explaining to her that I did not care that she was crying, but she said that wasn't it. She wouldn't elaborate farther.

"Now I believe she was apologizing about you.

"She kissed me then left without another word. I haven't seen her since," he finishes.

I don't know what to think. This doesn't sound like the Bellatrix I know. But then again, what little I know about her is baffling. She is a hard person for me to read. "Why are you telling me this?" I whisper.

He smiles. "I don't quite know. I haven't spoken of it to anyone, not even Rabastan. I think I just wanted to say it out loud."

"I understand." I look at the teddy bear. "But I can't take that."

"Why not?" he asks. "It's something from your past."

"I know," I reply, "but I want you to keep it. Besides, I wouldn't know what to do with it at Hogwarts. I'd rather it be somewhere I know is safe, somewhere it can be preserved."

He nods. "You can give it to your firstborn – not that of the Dark Lord. Your real first child, the first child born to you and your future husband."

I smile, knowing deep down that I won't have that chance. I'll be dead. I'm about to ask of him what I asked of my mother, which is to watch after my child if something happens to me. But I see a glint of silver around his neck and suddenly have an urge to see what it is. I don't know why, but I reach out and pull the chain. An amulet, one that had neatly been tucked inside his shirt, comes out and flops against his chest.

"Vobiscum," he says quietly.

"What?" I reply. He removes the amulet from around his neck and holds it in his palm. Engraved in the silver is one word: Vobiscum. "What does that mean?"

"It's Latin for 'With you always.'" He flips it over. On the back is a date, my birthday, year and all. "I got it after your 'death.' I had your birthday engraved, and I fully meant to put the day you died. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. It seemed too final." He slips it back around his neck. "I've been with you, one way or another, since the day you born, Aurelia." The amulet is once again hidden by his shirt.

I open my mouth to say something but am cut off by a _pop!_ and someone shouting, "It's her! And I think the Dark Lord will kill –"

Then the sound silences. I turn my head slowly. Standing next to the sofa is Bellatrix. We're all frozen. She opens her mouth a few times to say something but stays silent each time. Her eyes drift from me to Rodolphus and from Rodolphus to me.

"Bella?" my father breaks the silence a few moments later. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" she replies. "What is she doing here?" Her eyes are now glued to me.

"I think you know," he answers.

"You told him, didn't you?" she whispers to me.

I nod. "I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't have a choice."

Her eyes flutter to Rodolphus. "I am so sorry," she whispers. "I should have told you. But the Dark Lord, he forbade it!"

My father shakes his head. "It's not your fault, Bella."

Why does she feel like she should have told him? She's the one who reiterated to me the fact that I was not allowed to speak of my relation to him.

She looks back at me. "Aurelia," she whispers, slowly coming toward me. "Is it true?"

"What?" I ask. "That I told him? Yes."

She shakes her head and viciously pulls to me feet and into her arms.

"Mum," I try. I can feel her body vibrating ever so lightly, like she's trying to fight back the tears. "Mum, what's happened?"

"You already know," she breathes.

I tighten my hold around her. "Who told you?"

"The Dark Lord," she struggles to say.

This makes no sense. Voldemort didn't want her knowing about my fate. "Why would he tell you?"

She steps away from me. "Narcissa and I were called into his chamber," she begins. "He was asking us about your state of mind when it comes to your duty, if you were getting any better. We all know that you aren't. Narcissa fears you might end your life prematurely. The Dark Lord was adamant that you would not.

"He was so sure. Of course we couldn't just ask him why he was so certain. Narcissa said that once you had the baby, you would just disappear. You would run away with the child, if you hadn't already escaped before you get pregnant.

"He said that you were willingly making the greatest sacrifice for the cause. That's when I realized why you wanted me to watch after the child if something happened to you. You're going to die for the child, aren't you? You've taken it upon yourself –"

"'Willingly'?" I scoff. "'Taken it upon myself'? What the bloody hell do you think this is? Do you think I want to die for the spawn of _Voldemort_? You think I want to die for the child of the devil himself?"

"Aurelia," she says. "Can't you see that dying for the Dark Lord is the greatest privilege anyone could have?"

"_What_?" Rodolphus shouts. He steps forward, taking a defending stance between me and my mother. "You spent fifteen years in Azkaban for him! Our daughter spent ten years in an orphanage and five years completely homeless! Now you're saying that she should die for him? Has she not been put through enough? Has she not suffered enough? Is one lifetime of a living hell not enough, Bella?"

She tries to speak, but he cuts her off. "Do you know why, for those few months, you were not allowed in the room right after _he raped her_?" He doesn't give her a chance to answer. "IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS TORTURING HER!"

"He wouldn't," she argues.

"Oh really?" Rodolphus snaps. "He let his followers spend over a decade in Azkaban, but you don't think he'd torture someone who is not willingly serving him? You're smarter than that, Bella, I know you are."

"But he cares for her," she counters.

"He cares for no one but himself!" my father roars. "You just wait! He'll have you dying for him too before this is over! Everyone is supposed to sacrifice everything for him! And what do we get out of it, Bella? Tell me, what do we get out of it? The privilege of serving a man who is just waiting for the opportunity to have us die for him, a man just waiting for his rise to power, never mind all the lives he destroys on his way to the top? How can you say that it is right or just or fair that our daughter should not only be raped by him once a month and be forced to have his child but also be killed after it's all said and done?"

"Life isn't fair, Rodolphus!" she shouts back. "You and I both know that –"

"And so you feel our daughter should suffer through that as well?" he bellows.

"There isn't another way!" she argues. "Will it be devastating? Yes. Will we die because of it? No. We have gone through her death once, we can do it again. At least this time, her death will make a difference."

"'Make a difference'?" I shriek. I come around my father just enough to face Bellatrix head on. "Do you know why he wants to kill me? Did he tell you that? Are you close enough to him that he would share that information with you?" She's silent. "That's what I thought. Mother, he is going to kill me so he can place a piece of his soul into my son so he can come back to life with a readymade body waiting for him upon his return! My child – your _only_ grandchild – will be nothing more than a vessel for Voldemort's personal use!"

"A horcrux?" my father whispers. "He will turn the boy into a horcrux?"

"A what?" I ask.

Rodolphus points at Bellatrix. "It will be a cold day in hell before I let that happen, you hear me? You can believe it is a privilege all you want, but deep down, somewhere in that stone heart of yours, you know – you _know_ – that this has gone too far."

"Aurelia," my mother says. "You know I love you. But you know that there is no other way. If the Dark Lord has commanded it, there is no other way."

Rodolphus turns and wraps his arms around me. He whispers in my ear, "The moment I let go, Apparate to your room, grab your things, and get out of here." He kisses the side of my head. "I love you."

He lets go. I add a step to his instructions and say, "I love you both." Then I follow what he told me to do and leave for the Collins' home.

* * *

**What do you think will happen when she gets to the Collins'?**

**What will happen to Rodolphus now that Bellatrix knows he knows about Charlotte?**

**Will Bellatrix ever change her mind toward Charlotte dying?**


	109. Chapter 109

**Thanks for being patient and for all of your support, everyone!**

**I will update again this Tuesday.**

**This chapter will seem shorter, but it is the same length, in words, as all of the previous ones:)**

* * *

**Lady Featherweight: Thanks for the favorite and the review! Bellatrix is pretty much, like, brainwashed by Voldemort. It's not that mean, it make sense. I see where you're coming from about wanting Bellatrix to die.**

**Tinkerfly: Thanks for reviewing! It totally takes the cake, right? I can't comment on what will happen when she gets back to the Collins'. Wait until you see what happens with Rodolphus, lol.**

**MyHarryPotterAddiction: Thanks for reviewing! Yes, I feast on the sorrow of my readers ;) hahaha. What do you mean I give you "too much credit"? **

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really excited about you all getting to read what happens next. But I'm not sure how you'll take it lol. He is the mature one of the second-years. He'll eventually come around, but I can't say when. Bellatrix keeping something from Voldemort might be difficult. We all know how in love she is with him, but knowing her grandchild will become a horcrux might push her over the edge, you never know. We'll just have to wait and see.**

**sara: Thanks for reviewing! I wish Charlotte could have two sane parents, too. I have to agree that at least she has her father wanting her to survive and escape Voldemort. Let's hope it works.**

**Jeri: Thanks for reviewing! Nah, it was the same length in words. It just seemed shorter because the paragraphs were a tad longer lol. There all about the same length. I try to write as fast as possible, but it doesn't always work. Thanks, it's always nice to hear that people enjoy the story:)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! I agree, Bellatrix is completely insane.**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad Rodolphus took it well too. I thought I'd show some contrast between Bellatrix and Rodolphus, seeing as she freaked out and he was excited. The Lestrange relationship is a bit depressing. Bellatrix cares about Rodolphus, even if she doesn't love him, which is why she gave him the bear. **

**KatKlawes: Thanks for the favorites and the follows and the review! Thanks for taking the time to read all the chapters in one weekend. I'll explain more about what happened with Bellatrix a little bit later. It worked better at the time for her to say she went to Durmstrang because he parents were all dead and stuff. But I see your point. I don't mean for your life to feel empty (lol), and I'm trying my hardest to write it faster. School is a pain.**

**Christine-Oliver-Lyon-Anna: Thanks for reviewing! I can't wait for you to find out what happens :) I wanted to show the difference between Bellatrix and Rodolphus by giving them completely opposite reactions.**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! A lot will change now that both of her parents know the full truth. There will be many fights added into the mix, lol. The reactions of Mr. and Mrs. Collins will happen in this chapter, kind of. And you'll see what I mean by that in just a moment. Christopher's reaction will be talked about as well, sort of, lol. I'll include reactions for the rest of the family too. Rodolphus is completely on Charlotte's side now.**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks, it excites me that I have this many reviews! I never thought it would happen!**

**guest: Thanks for reviewing! What is a family reunion without at least one argument, right? Thank you for taking time out of your life to read it:)**

**OpHeLiA-91: Thanks for reviewing! I can make no promises concerning the fates about anyone, lol, sorry about that. It was the same length as all the others, in words that is. I promise they're all the same length. I can't wait for everything to come together. **

* * *

**CHAPTER 109**

I'm in the living room of the Collins' home. Mrs. Collins nearly shrieks, but manages to keep her surprise at bay. She rushes over to me, saying something, but I can't register what she's saying. I'm still in a daze, to be quite honest. For some reason, I believed Bellatrix would turn against the Dark Lord when she learned I was to be killed. I was a fool. My mother will never choose me over Voldemort.

I'll never be able to save her as Rodolphus requested.

Mrs. Collins puts her hands on my arms. "Charlotte," she says. I snap my attention to her. "Charlotte, what's happened?"

"I…I…" I shake my head. "Had to leave. Bellatrix showed up. They argued. I just…" I shake my head again. "Wasn't safe for me there anymore. Too much changed." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Calm down. I have to calm down. "Christopher?" is all I can say.

"He's been in his room, won't come out," she answers quietly. "He won't speak, not to me or Gideon, not to even Andrea or Julia."

"Where's Julia?" I try again.

"Left this morning," Mrs. Collins answers.

I clear my throat. "I…I can go back to Hogwarts. If it'd be better for me to –"

"No no no," she quickly says. "You can stay here." Taking me by the arm, she slowly leads me up the stairs. "You can stay in Brooke's room. She can stay with Paige until Christopher comes back around."

"Where are they – Andrea, Paige, and Brooke?" I ask.

"Out by the lake with Gideon," she replies. "We're trying to give Christopher his space. And Gideon is trying to explain everything to them so they can hear it in a better way than Christopher did."

"How much did he hear exactly?" I whisper.

"We don't know," she says. "He won't tell us."

I stop her before we get to Brooke's door. "I think…I think it'd be better if…if I just left, Mrs. Collins."

"Charlotte –"

"I'm serious," I interrupt. "I'll try to come back tomorrow or something. But I just…I can't stay here…not when he's still upset."

"Where will you go?" she asks quietly.

"My aunt's," I answer, though I don't know if this is true or not. I'm not sure if Andromeda will appreciate me showing up without any kind of warning. Then again, that really is the only way I have ever shown up.

She closes her eyes for a second, debating if she should argue. "And you're sure this will be okay?" she finally replies.

I nod. "Of course."

Mrs. Collins quickly hugs me, "But do make sure you come back, Charlotte. Christopher is a strong boy. He'll be fine."

I just nod again.

"Charlotte, Gideon and I do not blame in the slightest," she states. "You need to know that we will never hold that against you."

I smile at her sadly; then Disapparate.

For the first time in what feels like years, I'm standing outside the Tonks' home. With a deep breath, I knock on the door. It doesn't take long before Andromeda has answered. "Charlotte?" she asks, looking around me suspiciously, almost as if she believes I am being followed. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story," I say.

"Come in, come in." My aunt all but pulls me into the house and closes the door. "How have you been?"

"About the same as before truthfully," I tell her.

She waves her wand and a few cups of tea come to her. She gives one to me. "Why are you not at Hogwarts? I thought You-Know-Who would have wanted you as protected as possible."

"Well, he does," I say. "He just doesn't know that I'm not there. If he did, I imagine he would be none too happy with me." I take a sip of the tea. We move to the kitchen where we sit at the table. "I have some friends covering for me," which isn't technically a lie because Severus and McGonagall are friends to me. "I was staying with Gideon and Trista Collins and their family. I'm a good friend of their son."

"Trista?" she asks. "She was a few years behind me at Hogwarts, was in Hufflepuff I believe. I thought she was a Muggle-born, like Ted. Is she not on the run?"

Right, I forgot about that tiny fact. "That's actually one of the reasons I had to leave. You see, Rodolphus killed their daughter a while back thinking she was me, thinking she would be forced to have the Dark Lord's child. He thought he was doing a kindness. Then he found out that Helena was not, in fact, the one chosen to have the child. He and Rabastan went back 'hunting' for Trista, but really, they lied to protect her. They didn't want to take Mr. Collins's daughter and his wife."

"So you had to leave?" she asks, clearly not understanding. And why should she? I haven't really told the full story.

"Their son, Christopher, took it rather hard that I was alive when it should be his sister. The two of them were close. I took it upon myself to leave and give them their space," I say.

"And this happened today?"

"Yesterday," I reply. "I went to Lestrange Cottage and stayed with Rodolphus, until Bellatrix arrived…I actually just left there." She obviously doesn't know what to say, so I switch the subject, "Have you heard from Ted at all?" Tears immediately spring up in her eyes. Bad subject, Charlotte, way to go. Andromeda just shakes her head. I try again. "Where is –"

"Charlotte," I hear from the far door. Tonks steps into the room, a tiny baby bump looking absolutely adorable on her. "What are you doing here?"

"She's staying here tonight," Andromeda answers. My heart smiles.

Tonks grins. "That's great!" She comes over and hugs me. Without another word, she begins parading through the cabinets and the refrigerator in the kitchen.

"What are you looking for?" her mother asks.

"Anything," she says. "I'm starving!"

Andromeda laughs silently and whispers to me, "She eats all the time. You know, I thought I was bad when I was pregnant, but she's twice as bad as I was."

"I heard that," Tonks announces.

Andromeda stands and goes to help her daughter. From the corner of my eye, I watch them, immensely jealous as they talk in hushed tones to one another. I can't help but want that. If I get pregnant, part of me wants that kind of relationship with Bellatrix, though I know such fantasies are fruitless and only make the situation worse.

Now my greatest fear is my father. What will happen to him now that he knows about me, now that Bellatrix knows he knows? "Where is Remus?" I ask them.

Tonks sits down beside me, and Andromeda returns to her seat across from me. "He's hiding. Werewolves are frowned upon by the Ministry," Tonks says quietly. "He's with a few of the Order members, helping them broadcast _Potterwatch_."

"Potter what?" I reply.

"It's a pirate radio program used to broadcast the news being hidden by the Ministry," Andromeda answers. "You need the password to be able to hear it."

"I guess that's why I haven't heard it," I say.

"That and you're stuck at Hogwarts with Snape," Tonks replies. Bitterness oozes from her voice when she adds, "How is the greasy-haired murderer nowadays?"

I have to fight my urge to tell them the truth about Severus. "He's the same, I reckon," I say. "He's Snape."

She takes a bite of her toast. Andromeda asks, "And You-Know-Who, is he still trying?"

"The last weekend of every month," I answer.

Andromeda very slightly shakes her head, but I see it. Her face displays her hatred of this. "You've not…you're not…"

"No," I quickly say, knowing where this was headed. "I don't know why, but I haven't been able to get pregnant, which is definitely something I am not complaining about." I glance away and take a moment to drink some more of the tea. "Does anyone know where Harry is?"

Tonks shakes her head. "The Order has been looking for him, keeping their eyes peeled the best they can, but no one has been able to find him or Hermione or Ron since they broke into the Ministry," which is something I remember Amycus mentioning to me in passing. "They've seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. But we all know – or at least we believe – that they're doing something to kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named once and for all."

"I sincerely hope that's what they're doing," I whisper.

"Do you know what will happen if you have a baby?" Andromeda asks.

"If it's a girl, he will kill her. He only wants a boy," I answer. "And if it's a boy he'll –" but I find myself stopping. They don't need to know what will happen to me. "I don't know what he'll do if it's a boy. He never really said. All he said was that the baby will be used as a readymade body for when he returns again, just in case something happens to his current body."

"You said that you were with Rodolphus," Andromeda continues. "What does he have to say about this? Does he know who you are?"

"I actually told him when I got there. I wasn't expecting anyone to be there. But he was. And I took my opportunity to tell him the truth. He was overjoyed, honestly. He was just happy that I'm alive. As for what I'm doing for the Dark Lord," I say, "he's not too excited about it. He doesn't want his daughter going through that. He's never wanted me to go through that."

"He's changed then, hasn't he?" Tonks asks. "Wasn't he involved in the torturing of the Longbottoms? He went to Azkaban for You-Know-Who, right?"

"That's actually why he hates You-Know-Who so much," I answer. "He lost me – his daughter – he lost his wife, and he was stuck in Azkaban for fifteen years. He was never really the same after that."

"The punishments of serving You-Know-Who are severe," Andromeda states.

"I don't mean to sound rude," I say quietly, "but it's been a rather trying day, and I would really like to put it behind me. Is there anywhere I can go to sleep for a while?"

"Of course," my aunt says. "You can take Dora's room. She can stay with me tonight."

"I don't want to be an inconvenience," I reply.

"Nonsense," Tonks laughs. "Since Remus went into hiding, I usually end up in her room anyway."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Positive," Andromeda replies. "Would you like some dinner before you go?"

"No thank you," I say.

Tonks tells me that I can find her room upstairs at the end of the hall. That's where I go. When I get to the room, I plop my rucksack onto the floor and sit down on the edge of the bed. This is going to be a worse Christmas than when I learned who I really am. I run my hands through my hair and pull it up to get it out of my face. There is no way I will ever be able to repay Andromeda for this. My eyes dart over to my bag, and against my will I stand and go to it, pulling out a piece of parchment and a bottle of ink and a quill. I sit back down and begin writing a letter, though I am unsure why I am doing it.

_Dear Fred, _

_I know that we have not spoken since my birthday, but I really need to talk to you. I don't care if you can never forgive me for keeping – well, my "duty" – from you. I understand your attitude toward this. But you are the only person I feel I can talk to at the moment. I mean, I guess I could go to McGonagall or Severus, but this is something I feel I should tell you and you alone._

_Christmas was supposed to be spent with Christopher Collins – I believe I spoke of him to you. He is the second-year "brother" of mine. Anyways, I found out that his sister was killed by my father, who thought he was killing the girl who was to have You-Know-Who's child. My father killed her thinking she was me. Fred, Helena's death was my fault, indirectly. (Helena was Christopher's sister). If I had simply gone to Rodolphus the moment I learned who I am, he would not have killed her._

_I guess my silence has ruined more than just our relationship._

_I left the Collins' home to give them time. You see, I told Mr. and Mrs. Collins the truth as soon as I pieced it all together. Unfortunately, Christopher overheard and was devastated by his newfound knowledge._

_I went to Lestrange Cottage, thinking I could be alone. But I wasn't. My father was there. I took this opportunity to tell him the truth. And for the hours we had together, it was great. He legitimately wants to save me, Fred. Can you believe it? A Death Eater wants to save me from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Things might have started changing for me._

_Then Bellatrix arrived. It's like she knows when things are going well for me and has this tendency to show up and ruin it. I can't say what happened. I can't write that down, but it isn't good. There was a fight, and I got out of there as soon as I could. Christopher was still hurting because of what he overheard. So I left the Collins' again. Then, though I doubt if I could tell you why, I went to Andromeda and Tonks. They gave me a room for the night. _

_Fred, I know that we are not on the best of terms, but I know that you are not the type of person to ignore something like this. I just…I needed someone to talk to, someone who would listen. You were the first person – and the only person – to really stick out in my mind. _

_Even if you don't reply, I want to thank you for reading, because I'm sure you've made it this far._

_Don't feel compelled to reply. It just feels good to know that there is someone I can rant to about this type of thing._

_Thanks again,_

_Charlotte Rodgers_

I don't bother looking over the letter again. I'm not even sure if I will send it. I'll probably just hide it away. In fact this is what I am doing right now: I'm hiding the letter deep in my rucksack. It will probably never see the light of day again.

Then I crawl into the bed and bury my face in the pillow. How is it that so much of my life can turn around in such a short time?

I don't have another thought before I fall asleep.

* * *

When I wake up, I realize that it is Christmas. This time last year, I was enjoying Chocolate Frogs with Bellatrix. I doubt if I will ever have a good moment with her after yesterday. I roll out of the bed and grab another piece of parchment. It's later than I thought, nearly eleven in the morning. I guess I was more tired than I originally believed.

I scribble a quick thanks for letting me stay and a quick apology for leaving with such short notice. Then I leave three Galleons on the nightstand. I don't know if I should pay them or not, but part of me says I should. So I do.

I Disapparate without seeing my aunt and cousin again.

I'm back in the living room of the Collins' home. Mrs. Collins smiles at me, "Charlotte, you're back earlier than I thought you would be."

"I didn't want to overstay my welcome with my aunt," I reply. "Her daughter – my cousin – is pregnant, and I didn't want to be a burden."

Looking around the room, I see the rest of the Collins family. Christopher looks at me sadly. Then slowly, very slowly, he stands and walks toward me. He locks his gaze on mine. His eyes threaten to start crying, but he doesn't. "I…I'm sorry, Charlotte," he whispers. "I know it's not your fault." Without another word, he hugs me. And I willingly hug him back.

When he moves aside, the three girls come up to me as well. Brooke is the first to wrap her arms around me. "You can be a part of our family, Charlotte," she says. Paige and Andrea agree as they hug me too.

I ignore the stinging in my eyes and look up at Mr. and Mrs. Collins. "Thank you," I say.

Mrs. Collins smiles again. "Why don't we go eat some breakfast, then we can open our gifts."

I gladly follow the family into the kitchen.

* * *

**Will she actually send that letter to Fred, or will she just let it go since she's back with the Collins's?**

**Will anything happen to Rodolphus?**

**How much do you think Christopher heard?**


	110. Chapter 110

**The next update will be this Saturday!**

* * *

**enna: Thanks for reviewing! I hope all turns out well for her too! Well, after Draco it was Fred. And she's a teenage girl who fell in love, I'm talking deeply in love, with Fred. And he's her happy place, the one time that she was truly happy. So she wants to hold onto that time in her life when things were looking bright. I did hear about that! I completely freaked out!**

**Her-My-Oh-Knee: Thanks for reviewing! I don't know why the site does that sometimes. I'm glad you liked the chapters!**

**Christine-Oliver-Lyon-Anna: Thanks for reviewing! "Magically find its way to him." Oh, the irony lol. I can't say what will happen to Rodolphus, but if Voldemort finds out that he knows, it won't be good for him. I'll talk about what Christopher heard a little bit later.**

**guest: Thanks for reviewing! Thinking about Tonks made me really happy, until I realized that she dies in the original books. Then it made me sad lol. She may or may not send the letter. I can't say yet… I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

**MyHarryPotterAddiction: Thanks for reviewing! Oh, I didn't mean to make you weep. Unfortunately, I think it might happen a few more times. I let a friend of mine read a paragraph I have written for later on the story, and she wanted to cry even though she hated the character it was about. I want to see Rodolphus be okay too, and I also want Fred and Charlotte to get back together. But we'll have to wait and see.**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! If she does send it, it will be interesting to see what happens because of it. And if she doesn't, someone might find it, which of course would not be good. I understand being optimistic. I'm optimistic, even about Charlotte. I'm optimistic about it mostly for the same reasons you mentioned: I want to see a happy ending because reality sucks. But I can't promise that will happen lol. It'll take a few chapters, but I will eventually talk about how much Christopher heard. You're welcome:) Readers like you, ones who review every time and are really encouraging, really help me write this. If it weren't for people like you, it would be a little difficult, honestly. I would grow weary of writing it. But I love to write because I know people are enjoying reading it. So thanks :)**

**Kirapannek: Thanks for reviewing! I would like for her to send the letter, but I'm not sure what would be best for the story yet. There a few different ways I could go with it, and I'm figuring it out. Thanks, I will certainly continue writing!**

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! There are a bunch of different ways the letter thing could play out, and I'm trying to decide lol. I think it would be nice if she sent it too, but I'm not sure. By now you know how I am about that, ha ha. I've decided what will happen with Rodolphus. I can't wait for it to finally come up. I'll talk later about how much Christopher heard. I probably don't say it enough, but thanks for always reviewing. It makes it easier to write:)**

**OpHeLiA-91: Thanks for reviewing! The next one's here! She definitely shouldn't have left Tonks so fast, but I had a reason for it. I want her to send the letter, but I don't know yet. I'm looking forward to the chapter where I finally decide what happens to the letter lol. I hope she and Fred get back together. It's up for debate, lol. I've decided what will happen with Rodolphus. It'll be mentioned in the next chapter, I believe. Later on I'll bring up what Christopher heard. **

* * *

**CHAPTER 110**

After a breakfast of toast and eggs and bacon, I moved to the living room with the Collins'. That's where we are now. The three girls are passing around the Christmas gifts. To my surprise, there are two gifts on the floor in front of me. Both times one was placed in my pile, I glanced up apologetically at Mr. and Mrs. Collins. I really do not believe that I deserve anything from this family.

Once the girls sit back down, I wave my wand, and the bag, which is full of gifts I had intended to give to Christopher and his sisters, comes up the stairs. The presents separate themselves and go to their new owners. "Charlotte," Mrs. Collins reprimands me, but that is all she says because I look over at her and point to the gifts at my feet. That quiets her up rather quickly.

The Collins family all begins opening each of their boxes and bags, and I silently thank God that they don't make everyone open them up one at a time. I start with the heavier one, carefully removing the wrapping. There is a small, plain-colored cardboard box underneath the paper. Slowly, I lift the top off. I glance up at Christopher, who is watching me as discreetly as he can. "It was from our collection," he whispers to me. I look back down at the book in my lap. It is a copy of Charles Dickens's _Great Expectations_. "It's about an orphan who manages to lead a good life. It reminded me of you, though…now I know you're not really an orphan…" he grins. "But still. I thought you might like it."

My hands run along the top of the book. I know I can't reject it, so I thank him, doing my best to block out my tears. Christopher has just given me a book that had once belonged to him and Helena. I don't know how to respond. He nods a little then goes back to opening his presents. I grab the bag that had been handed to me. It's not that heavy. I reach in and pull out a picture in a frame. My breath catches. The picture is of me and Draco in the Slytherin common room. It had been taken before Slughorn's Christmas Party. Draco's arm is draped around me, and mine is around his waist.

But this isn't the picture I remember Christopher taking. In fact, I don't remember him taking this one at all. In this one, I am looking up at my cousin, and he is looking down at me. My head hardly reaches his shoulder. We're both smiling, but not at the camera. We're smiling at each other. I don't even know what could have been said to make us both laugh like that.

I'm fully engrossed in the picture when I hear, "Cool!" It startles me, and I look up to see Christopher admiring the gifts from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

"Extendable Ears and Sticky Trainers," I say, "two great accessories for the underage spy." I look over at his parents then add quietly. "Just don't get caught."

He smiles mischievously. "I won't."

Christopher straps on the Sticky Trainers and walks toward the wall. He begins scaling up the wall. "Dad!" he laughs as he hangs upside down from the ceiling. His arms hang freely. "Look what Charlotte got me!"

"Just what you need," Mrs. Collins laughs with him, "another way to sneak around the house."

"You know it," he replies. Then he looks at me. "How do I get down?"

"I've never used them," I say as an answer.

The boy then looks to his father. "Help me?"

"I'm fine just watching," Mr. Collins states.

Christopher spends a solid fifteen minutes trying to get off the ceiling.

* * *

The rest of Christmas was spent playing with all the toys the girls got, as well as a few round of Beams. But as always, the good times leave me too quickly. And before I know it, the gifts have been enjoyed; the meals have all been eaten; and Christmas has come and gone, leaving behind a wake of longing so strong I can almost see it in the air.

But time is up. I am leaving for Hogwarts. As great as my time with the Collins family has been, I think I'm more than ready to see Severus and McGonagall. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I want to talk to Severus about my father and my mother. I need to know what a horcrux is. I need to know what that means and how dangerous it can be. I need to know.

Yet, part of me doesn't want to speak at all. I want to be alone. I want to remain silent. I want to escape Voldemort. I don't want to go back to Hogwarts. I want to disappear completely.

And each time I muster up the courage to do just that, the faces of McGonagall and Severus and Fred and the rest of the Weasleys and the Collinses and Draco and my father flash through my mind, and they tell me that running is not an answer. They tell me that I must face this, that I must follow this through to the end, that I must stay to see Voldemort die.

"Come back whenever you can," Mrs. Collins says to me. "You're more than welcome any time." Then she pulls me into a tight embrace. "It doesn't matter when. If you find yourself needing to get away, you can come here. No questions asked."

"Thank you," I whisper, hugging her back.

Christopher then wraps his arms around me. "I'll see you at Hogwarts next week, Charlotte."

"Until then, Christopher," I reply, dreading the moment when I have to ask him how much he heard the other day. I've avoided the subject completely, waiting for him to broach it. But I know that I will eventually have to ask him. Brooke, Paige, and Andrea all hug me at once. "I'll see you all again soon."

Mr. Collins hands me my rucksack. "You're going to be okay?" he asks.

"Of course," I assure him. "There are people at Hogwarts – Professor McGonagall, for instance – who are waiting for me with the sole purpose of helping me. I'll be fine."

Then, without warning, he pulls me into his arms and says just quietly enough for only me to hear, "I thank God every day for Christopher meeting you, Charlotte. I don't know where he'd be without you in his life."

"I feel the same way about him," I whisper back.

"Take care of yourself, Charlotte," he replies when he steps away.

"Will do." I smile at them one more time before Disapparating.

I toss my rucksack onto the sofa in Severus's private chamber and stand in silence. I feel as if everything has irrevocably changed.

My father knows who I am. My mother knows of my fate. My father wants to save me. My mother believes my death will be a beautiful thing for Voldemort's cause. My father might be punished for knowing who I am. My mother will probably not help that circumstance at all.

The door to Severus's private quarters opens and in walks Severus himself. "Charlotte," he says quietly, "I thought I heard something. You're here earlier than I thought you'd be."

Tears are already flooding my eyes. Why is it that I can never hold back my emotions when I'm around him? So I silently shake my head.

"What's happened?" he asks, coming toward me. I say nothing. Instead, I rush toward him and viciously press my lips against his. "Charlotte –" I cut him off again forcing his lips to meet mine once more. I drag him toward the bed with me. "Charlotte –"

"Shut up," I say. "I don't want to talk."

I pull him onto the bed, on top of me. He stops arguing and gives in to my desires.

* * *

When I open my eyes the next morning, the only thing I see is Severus, fully clothed, sitting beside me, staring at me. My heart stops, and I yelp, scooting away from him until I almost fall off the bed. Reflexively, he reaches out and grabs me by the waist to stop me from rolling onto the floor. "Merlin! You can't just do that!" I bark.

"Do what?" he laughs. "I was trying to help you."

I pull the sheets around tighter around myself and shoo his hand away from me. "You can't just stare at someone while they sleep, Severus!" I growl. "Do you've any idea how…how creepy that is?"

He smirks. "And it is completely acceptable to attack someone the moment you see them?"

"What –" but I stop. I know what he's talking about. "I got carried away," I defend myself.

"What happened over the holidays?" he asks. "I have never seen you act like that."

Why does this embarrass me so badly? It's not like I have any reason to be ashamed, considering the entire agreement between me and Severus and how that alone is cause enough for me not to be embarrassed about anything when it concerns him. I sigh. "Christopher Collins had a sister; she was about my age."

He waits patiently as I recount to him how Rodolphus killed her in an attempt to save her from my fate. I explain to him about my grandfather witnessing me murdering Avery and him leaving a letter to Rodolphus and Rabastan and Avery's son to tell them what happened. I tell Severus about how this led to Rodolphus's belief that Helena was me. I tell him that her death was my fault, to which he quickly says, "You cannot blame yourself for that, Charlotte. That was far out of your control."

"Except I could have stopped it had I simply gone to him when I first learned that I am Aurelia, correct?" He's quiet. "Exactly, I have the right to blame myself." It's easy to see that he wants to argue, but I continue on with my story and inform him of when I told Mr. and Mrs. Collins and was overheard by Christopher and Julia. I recount Christopher's reaction and how I fled from their home. But I stop after telling him that I went to Lestrange Cottage.

Severus waits for almost a minute before reaching the conclusion that I do not want to go any farther. "What happened when you went to the cottage?" he whispers.

I just shake my head, trying to regain my courage. My heart is aching at the thought of my mother not caring about my death. I have to block that thought out; if not, I won't be able to go on. I take a deep breath. "Rodolphus was there," I finally say.

The headmaster is quiet for a second. "Charlotte," sympathy fills his voice.

"I told him!" I blurt out. "I told him everything!"

"And?" he asks.

"He was thrilled, Severus," I whisper. "He was so excited. We had a day and a half of pure bliss. It was a glorious, short time that we had together. I honestly think it could have stayed like that. Then Bellatrix arrived."

His face shows his frustration with this, but he can't even begin to understand my frustration with it.

I continue, "She now knows that I will die after I have the baby, if I have the baby. And you know what her reaction was? Pride. Yes, Severus, pride. She thinks it is the highest honor to not only have the Dark Lord's baby but to be able to die for him as well."

He doesn't say anything. I guess he doesn't really have to say anything. Instead, he scoots closer to me and puts his arms around me. I am suddenly aware of the fact that I am still naked and the fact that he is not. And it makes me feel vulnerable and weird, but I do my best to ignore it. I lean my head against his chest and close my eyes. At least I have the sheets covering me. "What did your father say?" he asks me.

"Well, he was upset with her, to say the least," I answer softly. "Then he told me to leave. I don't really know what transpired when I left."

All conversation between us dies. But I do not mind, not one bit. It's relaxing. I feel comforted when I'm in his embrace.

After fifteen minutes of this, I find my voice once again. "What is a horcrux, Severus?" I whisper.

His whole body tenses. "What did you say?"

"A horcrux," I repeat. "What is it?"

He releases me and gets off the bed, mumbling, "No no no no," to himself. Then he stops, and again more to himself than me, he adds, "I thought it sounded familiar. How did I not see this before?" He freezes and turns to me. "Get dressed, quickly. Then come to my office." He opens the door and enters his office before saying anything else.

Wasting no time, I rush and throw on my clothes. Less than five minutes later, I am entering Severus's office. "Professor," I say.

He is speaking with Dumbledore's portrait. "Miss Rodgers," the painting says, "what did Rodolphus Lestrange say exactly?"

"Well, sir, after Bellatrix voiced her opinion on my death, I told them both about the Dark Lord putting a piece of his soul inside my son. That's when Rodolphus said it was a horcrux. That's when he said that things had been taken too far. He didn't really elaborate."

Dumbledore looks at Severus gravely. "A horcrux," the portrait explains to me, "is very powerful Dark Magic. As you know, it is used to hide a piece of one's soul for the purpose of attaining immortality. The only way to split the soul in order to put it inside an object is through murder."

"Which is why he wants to kill me," I comment quietly.

"Precisely," he confirms. "And you said that he told you the child was to be used as a body in case his current one was destroyed, yes?"

"Yes, sir," I answer. The former headmaster is lost in thought. I glance between him and Severus. Both are equally troubled. "He's done this before, hasn't he?"

Dumbledore glances at Severus. "Yes, I am afraid he has."

"How many?" I ask.

He doesn't answer.

"How is a horcrux destroyed?" I try.

"There is one method that has been proven effective," Dumbledore says. "The Sword of Gryffindor, it is infused with basilisk venom, very hard to cure."

"But the sword is currently in my mother's vault at Gringotts," I say. I think I remember Severus saying something about that.

"That sword is a fake," the current headmaster informs me. "The real one is currently in the possession of Harry Potter." He answers my question before I ask it, "I delivered the sword to him yesterday." I'll have to inquire about that later. It seems rather trite of an issue right now.

"So, once this is done to my son, the only way to reverse it is through his death?" I whisper.

"That is why we cannot allow it to happen to your son," Severus states.

This is too much for me to take at the moment, and I collapse into the chair. I look away from them. They respect my turmoil and remain silent until I finally force myself to ask, "Does Harry stand a chance of destroying all of them?"

"Yes," Dumbledore states. Severus looks out the window, forcing himself to meet neither my eyes nor those of the deceased headmaster.

"But if he is unable to destroy each horcrux before I get pregnant and is unable to kill You-Know-Who before I have the child, will he be forced to kill my son? Would he be able to do that? I mean, does Harry Potter have what it takes to kill a child?"

Dumbledore looks at me sadly. "Let's hope it does not come to that."

I clear my throat, and Severus meets my gaze. "Severus," I whisper. By the look on his face, it is easy to see that he already knows where this conversation is headed, but he does nothing to stop me. "You've been here for me throughout, well, this whole thing basically. But if I am killed, there will be no one to stop this. Severus, please, don't let my son become a horcrux. Please, if I am gone, do what must be done. Promise me."

He is quiet for a moment, and the silence weighs on me. Then he says, almost inaudibly, "I will."

"Promise me," I state.

Nodding, he replies, "I promise you that I will take all measures to stop this from happening to your son."

Though I know this means he will have to murder my child, I am relieved. Again, all conversation dies. That's when I realize the time, and I have to look away from Dumbledore and Severus. "I have to go," I whisper.

I dread the moment I am forced to face Voldemort. But even more, I dread the moment when I am forced to face Bellatrix. After learning that she is okay with me dying, I don't think I can ever see her in the same light.

How foolish of me to think I ever stood a chance of having a relationship with her.

How foolish of me to think that she would ever turn against the Dark Lord for me.

How foolish of me to think, ever, that I could save her from Voldemort.

That's what I am: A foolish child.

I take a deep breath, give Dumbledore and Severus the best smile I can manage, and Disapparate, fearing the next few hours more than anything else I have ever feared.

And one more thing lingers with me as I step foot in Malfoy Manor. What will happen to Rodolphus? Has Bellatrix told? I can only hope that all will be fine.

But when is anything ever truly fine in my life?

* * *

**Will Rodolphus be okay?**

**Would Severus actually kill Charlotte's son?**

**What do you think Bellatrix will do when she sees Charlotte?**

**Review!**


	111. Chapter 111

**Sorry for the delay in updating today. I had to clean the house. **

**The next update will be on Thursday!**

* * *

**Dolceconbrio: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, Christopher is okay with what is happening. I can't say how much he heard. It'll come up later. He could have just walked back down the walls, but he's just a kid who was stuck hanging upside down. I don't think logic was on his side at the moment lol. I'm not sure if Charlotte will learn that Harry is a horcrux. I'm trying to figure that out. I was going to split the story up, but I didn't. Now it's too far into the story, and I don't want to split it up with this many chapters and all. I tried applying to a few communities, but I never got any responses from the creators.**

**Malfoyforver: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you love the story! I don't care who she ends up with, I just want her to be happy! Lol**

**MyHarryPotterAddiction: Thanks for reviewing! Because sometimes it's necessary! :)**

**Samuel La Flame: Thanks for reviewing! Well, he has other followers who could do his bidding, so I wouldn't put too much faith in him being too busy to deal with Rodolphus. He'll leave right after dealing with Charlotte though, like you said. I think Severus would be able to kill the child if he needed to. He would certainly hate it and become bitter, but he could do it. Bellatrix will definitely need time if she is to see the error of her ways. I'm glad someone realizes how much time and effort I put into this, lol. I thought it was just one of those things only I realized.**

**guest: Thanks for reviewing! It is kind of sad, but it's a necessary evil. If Charlotte has the baby, things need to be set in place for the horcrux to be destroyed. Unfortunately that means his death… Poor Severus… I'm not entirely sure if I'll write more. I don't have any ideas yet, but if I do, then I will write:)**

**Sophia Lele: Thanks for reviewing! Poor Severus…he always gets the bad jobs lol. I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**Guest: Thanks for reviewing! It's okay if you can't review. Don't worry about it. Lol, I'm glad I have a big fan. What does she say?**

**TheLilyReviewer: Thanks for reviewing! I can't wait for more either!**

**Miss Malfoy 2408: Thanks for reviewing! I feel bad for her too. She just has a really tough lot. I think the letter will end up in his hands one way or another. I feel awful for Severus too. He does so much to take down Voldemort.**

**Beatrice Rain: Thanks for reviewing! I agree. People really take Snape for granted. He does so much.**

**sadistic witch: Thanks for reviewing! Which would you prefer, a son or a daughter for Severus and Charlotte? Just wondering:)**

**OpHeLiA-91: Thanks for reviewing! There's a lot happening right now for Charlotte. I can't wait for you to find out what happens, either. I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**MerlinHasMagic: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you love the story! That makes it worth writing!**

**al: Thanks for reviewing! Don't worry, I've been thinking the same thing. Something will happen and change things. I promise. I'm actually really looking forward to when romance comes back into the story.**

**Tinymidget: Thanks for the follows and the favorites!**

* * *

**CHAPTER 111**

The moment I open my eyes in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, I see Draco coming toward me, quite rapidly if I might add. He takes me into his arms the second he can. "Is it true?" he whispers. "Does Rodolphus know?"

I pull away frantically. "Who told you?"

"Mum," he answers. "Bellatrix told her, and she told me. Charlotte, what happened?"

"Where is he? Is he here? Is Rodolphus here?" is the only thing I can ask.

My cousin shakes his head. "I haven't seen him in quite some time."

"Rabastan?" I whisper.

Draco shakes his head again. I pry myself away from him and rush out of the room, but I don't entirely know who it is I am hunting. I honestly have no idea where I'm going, but I am going somewhere. That is, until I run straight into Narcissa and almost flatten her onto the floor. Luckily – perhaps unluckily – we ram into the wall. "I am so sorry!" I shriek, helping her straighten up again.

"Charlotte, what's gotten into you?" she asks quietly.

"Where is Rodolphus? Where is he? Where is my father?" I reply.

She opens her mouth a tad but stops. "Charlotte, listen –"

"No, you listen!" I shout. "You tell me where he is!"

"I am afraid that I cannot," she says.

Huffing, I turn to leave, but she grabs me by the arms and pulls me back into her embrace. "I didn't realize things were this bad, Charlotte." I don't reply. "Bellatrix told me about the horcrux."

"Yeah, well…" I don't go any farther.

I stand there for a few moments, peacefully in my aunt's arms. Is it bad that I can see her replacing Bellatrix completely? I guess not. But really, McGonagall replaced my mother a while back. But if I must have a child of the Dark Lord, I believe Narcissa will be the Andromeda to my Tonks. Or at least, I hope it's her rather than Bellatrix, especially after what I've learned about my mother's thoughts on my fate. How could she not care? I mean, here is Narcissa, someone who really doesn't have to give any affection to me, and she gives me more than my real mother ever has.

"Why does she think it's a good thing that I die for him?" I mumble.

Narcissa pulls back far enough to look me in the eye. It's hard to believe that there is a certain dampness on her cheeks. "She didn't to begin with, Charlotte. You must understand that Bellatrix lives to serve the Dark Lord. When she learned of your fate, she was devastated. I was with her. I witnessed it. She was distraught, in her own way. She sat in her room downstairs and stared at me blankly. It is a rare thing that my sister loses her voice. And it is rarer still that she allow herself to cry.

"But she did. She convinced herself that this was for the best.

"Then she declared that she must tell Rodolphus the truth, regardless the Dark Lord's orders for Rodolphus's ignorance concerning you. She said she was certain he would be at Lestrange Cottage, and if he wasn't, she knew where to find him. Before I could change her mind, Charlotte, she was gone. You were there with him, weren't you?"

I nod.

"Your father fought with her, didn't he?" I nod again. "Then you left."

"What happened to my father?" I whisper.

"I cannot tell you. It is forbidden," she replies softly.

"I don't give a damn about what is 'forbidden'! You tell me what's become of my father!" I roar.

She looks away from me.

Violently, I jerk out of her arms and storm off. She doesn't try to follow me.

Again, I am not completely sure of my plan (because, frankly, there is nothing I can do), so I decide to go to the guest room. And that is where I go. I slide onto the black and silver bed and wrap my arms around a pillow, drawing it close to me.

Not for the first time, but for the first time in a while, I allow myself to cry myself to sleep. My father could very well die because of what I've done.

* * *

I am awoken by someone viciously shaking me by the shoulders. After forcing my eyes open, I see that it is Draco. "They're searching for you," he whispers.

"What time is it?" I reply.

His face saddens. "It's…time…" he answers. He helps me to my feet and leads me down the stairs to where Narcissa and – to my utter surprise and fury – Bellatrix are waiting for me. "Be strong."

My aunt and my mother take my arms and begin ushering me down the corridor. No one speaks. I don't look at Bellatrix. I can't bring myself to do it. How can she willingly go along with Voldemort killing me? Whatever happened to her loving me?

I know what happened. Voldemort happened. I mean nothing when compared to him. I _am_ nothing compared to him.

In her mind, at least. I know a few people who would choose me over him any day.

Unfortunately, Mother is not in that group.

We stop at the door to _the room_. Narcissa hugs me. Bellatrix tries, but I put my hands on her shoulders and force her away. "Don't you dare touch me," I growl. "I'll be dead soon because of you." Okay, I know it was a bit harsh, and I immediately regret it when I see the pain on her face, but I don't take it back. I keep my straight, angered face and glare into her eyes. Then I spin on my heel and enter _the room_ without saying another word.

I stand in the middle of _the room_ for nearly five minutes before Voldemort enters. He looks at me, sheer mockery on his face. "I am curious," he says, "as to how you sneaked by the Carrows in order to leave Hogwarts for the Christmas holiday."

"I don't know what you mean," I reply.

"I believe you do," he states. "I am not asking you tell me. I am demanding it."

"And since when have I ever cared what you 'demand' of me?" I say.

His gaze darkens. "You care nothing about my demands," he agrees. "But you care a great deal about your father, yes? Would you like to know where he is, why he was not here to watch after you this afternoon?"

My breath catches.

"Yes, I thought you might." He takes a step close to me. "Now, how did you sneak around the Carrows?"

"The Disillusionment Charm," I lie. "I'm quite gifted with charms."

"And you went to Lestrange Cottage to be with you father?" he asks.

"I didn't know he was going to be there!" I argue. "I wanted to be alone!"

"Your ignorance of his whereabouts does not excuse you for deliberately rebelling and telling him who you are," Voldemort replies. "The punishment brought forth upon your father is a direct result of your disobedience."

I swallow down my sorrow and let my anger fester. "What have you done to him?" I ask evenly (quite an accomplishment). "Where is he?"

"He is in his home."

I have a bad feeling about what his "home" is. Voldemort wouldn't just let my father go home after this. "Where is that exactly?" I hiss.

"Azkaban."

"You bastard!" And before I know it, I have charge forward, bracing myself. My hands make contact with his chest and shove him backward a few steps.

Spinning around, I attempt to leave the room, but Voldemort latches onto my long black hair and pulls me back. I ram into his chest. "It is no one's fault but your own."

"How did you know?" I ask, fighting back my tears of pain and anger and distress.

"You believe your mother keeps anything from me?"

And with that simple question, my entire fighting spirit drains straight out of me, and I begin to wail and sob. Voldemort takes no notice of my pain, but he takes advantage of my weakness and forces me onto the mattress. Despite my efforts, fighting is fruitless.

* * *

I curl onto my side on the cold floor and attempt to force my tears to stop. After a few minutes of this, I realize it's not going to work, so I give up and make myself stand. I grab up my robes and put them on. I'm not waiting for someone to come and fetch me. I open the door and try to leave.

But Bellatrix is standing there, reaching for the door. A scowl takes over my face, and I do nothing to stop it. "What do you want?" I snap.

"I came to check on you," she answers.

"Well, don't," I answer, trying to push by her.

My mother grabs me by the arm and pulls me back. "Aurelia, you must understand that I had no choice."

"Really?" I ask sarcastically. "For some reason, it always sounds that you 'never have a choice.' You are a grown woman. You carve your own path."

"I have no more choice than you do when it comes to you having the Dark Lord's child," she replies.

In a fit of rage, I raise my hand and take it across her face. "Don't you EVER compare our situations!" I roar.

Bellatrix grabs my shoulders and shoves me against the wall. "Aurelia," she says dangerously, "I am still your mother, and you will treat me with respect."

"You are not my mother," I state. "Minerva McGonagall is the only mother I will ever have." I try to wiggle out of her grip, but it does not work. "And as my father, he is residing in Azkaban because of you."

Her face is painful, but I ignore it. "I didn't have a choice!" she argues. "The Dark Lord asked me what happened! Did you expect me to lie to him?"

"I expected you to care about the fact that your grandson will become a horcrux," I counter. I darken my gaze at her. "But I guess, at this point, he won't be _your_ grandson, will he? Because you are not my mother, and I am not your daughter. The only parent I have anymore is rotting in a cell in Azkaban."

"You can't be the daughter of Rodolphus without being my daughter as well, Aurelia," she says.

"Watch me," I growl. "Oh, and it's Charlotte, Charlotte Rodgers. I will never be Aurelia Victoria Lestrange, at least not while you're alive."

Her face drops, and her grip lessens. I take this opportunity to put my hands on her and force her backward. Then I Disapparate.

I sink to the floor in Severus's private chamber and lean my head against the foot of the bed, sobs wracking my body. I hide my face in my hands. How is it that I have lost everything so quickly? I honestly believed Rodolphus would be able to help me. I honestly believed Bellatrix would care about my son becoming a horcrux.

I was wrong.

"Charlotte?" I hear. I glance up to see Severus coming toward me. He sinks down beside me. I move toward him and hide my face in his chest rather than in my hands. He wraps his arms around me. "What's happened?"

"He's in Azkaban – my father is in Azkaban," I cry. "He's in Azkaban because I told him the truth!"

"You can't blame yourself," the headmaster says logically.

"Can't I though?" I scoff. "I told him the truth. Bellatrix found out. Bellatrix was asked of the Dark Lord. She told him. Now my father is in Azkaban because of it. Tell me, how is that not my fault?"

"He deserved to know," Severus replies. "And when the Dark Lord is killed, I will go with you personally to retrieve him."

"Because the new Minister of Magic is going to just let Rodolphus Lestrange walk right out of Azkaban, right?"

"We will find a way," he answers.

And I believe him. I believe that I will be able to save my father. I reach up and kiss Severus's cheek. "Thank you," I whisper. We continue sitting on the floor for a while before I say, very quietly, "I'm scared, Severus. It's been six months since this whole thing started, and I am not pregnant. What if I can't have children? What will the Dark Lord do to me?"

"I doubt if he'll be around too much longer, Charlotte," he replies after a moment of thinking. "If you are unable to have his child, would that not be a good thing?"

"I'm not saying it would be bad thing for me not to have _his_ child, but what will he do to me?"

"I don't believe he'll find out that you are incapable of having children," he states.

"But what if I want children some day, but after all he has put me through, I can't?"

"I don't believe that will be the case," is his only answer.

"Say I get pregnant," I continue, "but say it's _your_ child. What then?"

"I will help you," he answers. "No one can know that the child is mine, of course, but I can help you."

I look up into his eyes. "You'll help me?" I ask.

"Did you ever believe that I wouldn't?" he responds.

I smile at him. "I just like to be reassured."

I meet his lips with mine. It's comforting to know that he will help me through this and that we might be able to save my father from Azkaban.

There is not one single regret about what I said to Bellatrix.

* * *

When I wake up (I'm surprised at how much I have been sleeping lately), Severus is already gone, back to his office. This is one of the few times that he has woken up before me. With no worries about awakening him, I move about his room with ease and go to his restroom, where I get ready for the day.

Once I enter his room again, I reach into my rucksack and add onto the bottom of my letter to Fred.

_P.S_, I write, _I went back to You-Know-Who the other day. I had no choice in the matter, as I hope you know by now. I learned dreadful news. My father has been sentenced to Azkaban by the Dark Lord. There is really no hope of getting him out until He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is gone once and for all. Fred, I'm worried. Azkaban drives people to insanity. He has already spent fifteen years there. How much more of the dementors' torture can he take before he goes as crazy as Bellatrix?_

I hide the letter back inside my bag and swing it over my shoulder before entering the headmaster's office. "Morning," I say to Severus and Dumbledore.

"Miss Rodgers," Dumbledore replies.

"Harry and Hermione were attacked by Nagini in Godric's Hollow," Severus informs me. I'm caught off guard. I was given no preamble about this at all. He just jumped straight into telling me bad news. This will be a rough day. I can already see it.

"What?" I reply.

"The Dark Lord has just informed me that Potter and Granger went to Godric's Hollow. There, Nagini attempted to kill them."

"Why would they go there?" I whisper.

"I believe they were searching for the Sword of Gryffindor," Dumbledore answers. "This was before Severus delivered it to them."

"Why would he think it would be there?" I reply.

"That is where I once lived. That is where Godric Gryffindor himself once lived. That is where Harry was born. He believed I left it there," Dumbledore says.

This cuts at my heart. That means that Godric's Hollow is where James and Lily Potter were killed. I force myself not to look at Severus, but ask him anyways, "And why has the Dark Lord told you this?"

"To alert me that Potter and his friends might be attacking Hogwarts soon," Severus says. "But I do not believe that this is their intention."

"Did he say anything about the Carrows?" I change the subject.

Severus shakes his head.

This surprises me. "So, he's not upset with you about me leaving Hogwarts?"

"Not in the slightest," Severus answers.

I nod, using my eyes to silently request that I leave. Severus notices and nods. I leave his office.

I need to speak with McGonagall. Once again, I have put her in grave danger. Losing my temper at Bellatrix and saying things about how McGonagall is more of a mother to me – despite how true such things are – is something I need to stop doing. Bellatrix might want to kill the Head of Gryffindor House more than ever now.

That and I just really want to talk to her. I feel like it has been too long.

* * *

**So...Rodolphus has landed in Azkaban again. Do you think Charlotte and Severus will actually be able to get him out?**

**How do you think Bellatrix will react to the final thing Charlotte said to her?**

**What does all of this mean for Charlotte? I mean, how will she change?**

**Review!**


End file.
